EPTOn May 28 2014 10:31 {CC}StealthBlue wrote:
Just had an awesome date, better yet taking her our again Friday.
Just had an awesome date, better yet taking her our again Friday.
Congratulations :D
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 475
| Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
|
Misca
Netherlands605 Posts
Congratulations :D | ||
|
SixStrings
Germany2046 Posts
On May 28 2014 15:54 Erik.TheRed wrote: Thanks for the advice, that's a fair point. It seems like the only photos where I'm somewhat smiling are the ones where I'm about to eat some good food (there was a plate of American pancakes on the table in that last pic) because I really suck at faking a smile. I've gone ahead and deleted/swapped some of the photos (and added a new one that's outdoors/more colorful) so hopefully it will look less pretentious until I can find/take some new photos. Updated profile: http://imgur.com/a/5w6a9 I wouldn't date you because you use a pretentious maple neck instead of the solid mahogany option. | ||
|
Misca
Netherlands605 Posts
 I've been in a stable relationship the last 7 years (I'm 29 now). It's been great, but after 7 years we both lost our sparks and we broke up. There wasn't really anyone to blame in this, we both just let it die out. Thank god we didn't make any big commitments (house, kids). This all ended last october. When I broke up a girl from work (works on a different location) approached me if I wanted to go for drinks, I held it off for a few months but she really wanted to go badly, so I went. This went on for a few weeks and eventually I didn't think I was really into her enough. She has 2 kids as well, I don't want someone elses kids. Until now, I'm really into her but I'm afraid if I'm going to commit to this I'll eventually dislike the whole situation with the kids and I'll walk away from it, hurting her in the proces. I'm clueless what to do. I don't want her kids to get attached either. Meh. | ||
|
Erik.TheRed
United States1655 Posts
On May 28 2014 18:50 SixStrings wrote: I wouldn't date you because you use a pretentious maple neck instead of the solid mahogany option. haha | ||
|
Otolia
France5805 Posts
On May 28 2014 19:06 Misca wrote: Okay, I've always read this topic and never actually contributed in any way. I thought I'd chip in I've been in a stable relationship the last 7 years (I'm 29 now). It's been great, but after 7 years we both lost our sparks and we broke up. There wasn't really anyone to blame in this, we both just let it die out. Thank god we didn't make any big commitments (house, kids). This all ended last October. When I broke up a girl from work (works on a different location) approached me if I wanted to go for drinks, I held it off for a few months but she really wanted to go badly, so I went. This went on for a few weeks and eventually I didn't think I was really into her enough. She has 2 kids as well, I don't want someone else's kids. Until now, I'm really into her but I'm afraid if I'm going to commit to this I'll eventually dislike the whole situation with the kids and I'll walk away from it, hurting her in the process. I'm clueless what to do. I don't want her kids to get attached either. Meh. In my opinion, you should only care about 2 things : Your relationship with her, and her baggage. If you can't live with someone's else kid, that's fine but I believe you should try anyway. As for hurting her, as long as you aren't a prick to her kids or molest them (OBVIOUSLY) I don't see how she will be hurt that you don't want to deal with kids at this point in your life. She wanted this if she waited for you to be single to approach you and if you like her, you owe it to yourself to try and make the relationship work. GL&HF ! | ||
|
Monsen
Germany2548 Posts
On May 28 2014 21:30 Otolia wrote: In my opinion, you should only care about 2 things : Your relationship with her, and her baggage. If you can't live with someone's else kid, that's fine but I believe you should try anyway. As for hurting her, as long as you aren't a prick to her kids or molest them (OBVIOUSLY) I don't see how she will be hurt that you don't want to deal with kids at this point in your life. She wanted this if she waited for you to be single to approach you and if you like her, you owe it to yourself to try and make the relationship work. GL&HF ! Er, just going out on a limb here but she could be hurt because of belied expectations? Hoping that it's going to work out and finding it doesn't? Seeing her kids attach emotionally to a new male person in their lives and have them disappointed? If you know for certain that you don't want anyone elses kids you owe it to her to be honest. Man up and don't waste her time (assuming she's looking for a long term partner). If you're not certain about accepting the kids, you also need to man up and commit. The only shitty decision there is not making one. | ||
|
WombaT
Northern Ireland23775 Posts
On May 28 2014 18:50 SixStrings wrote: I wouldn't date you because you use a pretentious maple neck instead of the solid mahogany option. Maple necks have different properties man , for the most part I find them a bit more playable | ||
|
biology]major
United States2253 Posts
| ||
|
Otolia
France5805 Posts
On May 28 2014 21:56 Monsen wrote: Er, just going out on a limb here but she could be hurt because of belied expectations? Hoping that it's going to work out and finding it doesn't? Seeing her kids attach emotionally to a new male person in their lives and have them disappointed? If you know for certain that you don't want anyone elses kids you owe it to her to be honest. Man up and don't waste her time (assuming she's looking for a long term partner). If you're not certain about accepting the kids, you also need to man up and commit. The only shitty decision there is not making one. That could be right but single mother (or father) with custody are more likely to assume a bigger role than shared parenting roles. If she is doing a good job as a parent there is no reason to believe the kids would be suffering from attachment to another parenting figure. Kids aren't little snowflake waiting to melt. Seeing their mother happy is certainly more important then their own attachment to someone's else because the main parenting bond is their referential. Of course if the divorce / break-up with the dad is unresolved, if one of the biological parent is manipulating, all this is thrown out of the window. But let's keep a happy mind, shall we? | ||
|
WombaT
Northern Ireland23775 Posts
| ||
|
obesechicken13
United States10467 Posts
I guess it's 5k messages, not 5k unique messagers. | ||
|
Najda
United States3765 Posts
On May 28 2014 15:54 Erik.TheRed wrote: Thanks for the advice, that's a fair point. It seems like the only photos where I'm somewhat smiling are the ones where I'm about to eat some good food (there was a plate of American pancakes on the table in that last pic) because I really suck at faking a smile. I've gone ahead and deleted/swapped some of the photos (and added a new one that's outdoors/more colorful) so hopefully it will look less pretentious until I can find/take some new photos. Updated profile: http://imgur.com/a/pTX5G Just a tip, you can go to www.okcupid.com/mybestface and put your pictures on there and people will rate the individual pictures against other people on the site so you can get an idea of which of your pictures is best. It can take a while to get a rating but probably worth checking out at least. On May 29 2014 00:20 obesechicken13 wrote: Ok so some of these people get to the message limit on OkC. That's 5000 messages. Wtf? I think you underestimate desperate guys. Plus some girls have been on there for multiple years. | ||
|
Otolia
France5805 Posts
On May 28 2014 22:45 Wombat_NI wrote: What Otolia said. Also my sympathies for your situation Otolia, an awful scenario to face and a dignified response. Thanks. | ||
|
Grobyc
Canada18410 Posts
On May 28 2014 22:42 biology]major wrote: think about a time when a friend made you laugh. Just emulate that before a picture and bam, natural smile (involves eyes and whole face) Damn, I don't know how I never thought of this. I don't often have a problem smiling when pictures are taken casually in a social environment, but I sometimes do during formal/organized photos and I can get myself smiling sitting here on my own over and over again with the same stupid joke my friend made. Brilliant, good sir. | ||
|
B.I.G.
3251 Posts
| ||
|
Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
On May 29 2014 03:07 B.I.G. wrote: Do you guys know that feeling when you have the hots for someone but you know for a fact that it is a stupid fucking idea and pursuing it will most likely end up in screwing yourself over? It's not the first time I have found myself in a situation where I really need to stop liking someone for my own good. Guess I should start imagining her starring in 2 girls 1 cup or something. Yes but what can you do? + Show Spoiler + nothing | ||
|
Wingblade
United States1806 Posts
On May 28 2014 17:06 lannisport wrote: Never fall for your wing girl. Recently I've been hanging out and talking to a friend of mine almost every single day (for the past couple months). I never made a move on her because our core values just don't match and I wasn't really that attracted to her but when you spend that much time with somebody feelings naturally develop. So we both have some attraction for each other but have never acted on it. Last week she ended up hooking up with one of her roomies. We got into a nasty fight because I felt jealous and insecure about it... She has hooked me up more than once with her friends but she never judged me. So I really had to step back and just not be so damn possessive. I acted like a sanctimonious ass. I went out on my own met a really cute and cool girl and now we are dating. Patched things up with my friend and had a serious long talk with her where we aired everything out. We ended up agreeing to keep things simple and to just be friends. I talk to her more than I do any girls I date and even my ex, and her friendship is something I do value so I've just let it go now and things are gravy. This again proves (At least to myself) that scarcity = neediness and abundance = choice. I got myself out there, met new people, girls, and the jealousy/possessiveness instantly vanished. And I really think the best way to meet cool/cute girls is to have that consistent social circle. The majority of my friends atm are girls and they have BBQs, parties, or events they consistently invite me to (And I try to do the same). A few of them, like my wing girl, also actively try to hook me up with other girls. Also just to add, you can't have an outer smile without an inner smile. And you can't attract girls without that. I've had a rough couple months jobs wise and even though I've been social I haven't been happy. And it's shown in my demeanour, action and energy. Only recently have things begun to turn around. Back to my hobbies, work is good, working out again, trying to live with some purpose, and being happy and finding fun on my own once again. If you have an attractive / fun lifestyle, know how to lead a girl, and know WHERE to find your "types" it becomes less of a headache all around. I just wanted to say that I really needed to read this. I don't know if this was your intended goal, but thank you. I've been stuck in a rut lately because I recently had a break-up with someone else(which itself wasn't bad), but i had developed serious feelings for a girl I've been good friends with for a good while. Of course she has a boyfriend I'm also good friends with, and I've been kinda down about the whole thing lately. Long story short, I think I needed this post thank you. | ||
|
Grobyc
Canada18410 Posts
I would never have called myself anti-social or anything, but when I think about it, I really was comfortable with putting in the bare minimum to meet girls and whilst thinking "man I never have any good luck with girls" at the same time. If you can't find yourself with luck, make your own damn luck and stop being a pansy. | ||
|
WombaT
Northern Ireland23775 Posts
| ||
|
Grobyc
Canada18410 Posts
| ||
| ||
