EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 473
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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phyren
United States1067 Posts
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Orcasgt24
Canada3238 Posts
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Orcasgt24
Canada3238 Posts
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urboss
Austria1223 Posts
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Orcasgt24
Canada3238 Posts
Maybe is like the most frustrating answer available because your forced to keep the time slot you wanted the date in clear and might end up not even going out. | ||
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arb
Noobville17922 Posts
On May 26 2014 13:18 Orcasgt24 wrote: Why do women always say maybe whenever you ask them out. Seriously I never get a straight answer of Yes and get no common enough. Maybe is like the most frustrating answer available because your forced to keep the time slot you wanted the date in clear and might end up not even going out. Talk to them more before you ask them, dont ever keep the slot free for a maybe lol. Maybe is usually a no so i go ahead and make other plans, then i'll ask her the day before or something if we are or not, if she says no then i already got plans, if she says yes its not too late to bail | ||
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IAmWithStupid
Russian Federation1016 Posts
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On May 26 2014 13:18 Orcasgt24 wrote: Why do women always say maybe whenever you ask them out. Seriously I never get a straight answer of Yes and get no common enough. Maybe is like the most frustrating answer available because your forced to keep the time slot you wanted the date in clear and might end up not even going out. Let's say we meet each other on TL in some form of "looking for people to play with"-thread without any other connection. We add each other on our favorite messenger or steam and you ask me "Yo, dude, wanna play this saturday at 4pm est?" and I answer "Maybe, not sure yet." - what will your reaction be? What will you think about this? You can't change what I said to you after I said it, the only things you can change are your actions before my statement or your actions after my statement. You're not "forced to keep the time slot", you're forcing yourself to keep it open because you value the slight chance that it meant "yes" over your own schedule. Once you understand and accept that it's going to be a lot easier. Don't put someone else's value above your own, especially when they barely invested anything. In the example above you'll end up being the guy I play with when I've got nothing better to do because the other five guys that I think would be cooler to play with than you didn't have time. Don't tell the world you'll gladly be that guy for them cause it might just end up happening. | ||
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arb
Noobville17922 Posts
On May 26 2014 16:51 IAmWithStupid wrote: I wonder how many people have full-time jobs here. More importantly, how do they combine dating (and social life in general) and work? I've recently got a nice position and had to move to another city. At first I thought there would be a lot of opportunities, but now I feel this assumption was terribly wrong: after job, sports and healthy 8 hours of sleep (I won't give that up) there is simply no time to go dating. It leaves weekends as only opportunity, but I don't know any couple who would meet once a week and stay positive (sic!) about their relations. I work 40 hours a week, mon-thurs(friday morning) and you can always go out on the weekends and its fine. I dont have a problem managing dates and work | ||
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JoeCool
Germany2520 Posts
On May 26 2014 17:31 arb wrote: I work 40 hours a week, mon-thurs(friday morning) and you can always go out on the weekends and its fine. I dont have a problem managing dates and work I think that depends on the job you´re doing. My boss works 40+ hours a week - monday to Saturday with one day-off apart from sunday - but when he´s done at work there is nothing more to do for him. So he has plenty of time left almost every afternoon. My Father works 40 hours a week in his office, but when he´s done at the office he´s coming home and continues to work, reading mails, dealing with calls etc. So there´s bsaically no time left for sports/theatre/whatever. Except for sundays. And about the couples... yeah my mom almost left him because of his work. As for myself, I´m currently a student with a job where I have to work ~45 hours a month. This means that there are weeks where I leave at 8.00 a.m. and come back at 9.00 p.m. and weeks - like this one - where I have plenty of time for myself. | ||
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Ideal26
United States185 Posts
On May 26 2014 16:51 IAmWithStupid wrote: I wonder how many people have full-time jobs here. More importantly, how do they combine dating (and social life in general) and work? I've recently got a nice position and had to move to another city. At first I thought there would be a lot of opportunities, but now I feel this assumption was terribly wrong: after job, sports and healthy 8 hours of sleep (I won't give that up) there is simply no time to go dating. It leaves weekends as only opportunity, but I don't know any couple who would meet once a week and stay positive (sic!) about their relations. I, and the person I'm dating, both work 60-ish hours a week, spend an hour or two a day exercising, and sleep a decent amount. When you first start dating I think just hanging out on weekends is fine, maybe shifting your schedule a little to grab a drink during the week or something. Now that I'm in a somewhat established relationship, we spend the majority of our evenings together. I get off work, go run or do whatever I need to do for myself that day, he does the same, then we'll meet up at my place or his and either work on stuff in each other's company (as he's a grad student and I'm currently a researcher, there's always work to do) or we just hangout for a few hours before we go to sleep. On the weekends we'll give each other a little more attention. We're both pretty happy with the routine though. I think its just the initial getting in a few dates so you know if you want a real relationship with the person that can be tricky to accommodate. Sometimes you just have to make time, if its important to you. Sacrifice an hour of sleep or an hour at the gym or whatever. | ||
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AeroGear
Canada652 Posts
On May 26 2014 16:51 IAmWithStupid wrote: I wonder how many people have full-time jobs here. More importantly, how do they combine dating (and social life in general) and work? I've recently got a nice position and had to move to another city. At first I thought there would be a lot of opportunities, but now I feel this assumption was terribly wrong: after job, sports and healthy 8 hours of sleep (I won't give that up) there is simply no time to go dating. It leaves weekends as only opportunity, but I don't know any couple who would meet once a week and stay positive (sic!) about their relations. Welcome to the workforce! You'll make time for it once you've decided that you want to date someone else. First dates are relatively small time investments (1-2 hour?) and can fit easily even in a busy schedule. Sadly, sport and or sleep might have to be sacrificed at first but eventually each partner adapts his routine (or it simply doesnt work out and you try again). There's plenty of time left once you account for a regular 8-5 jobs AND 8 hours of sleep. You obviously have to trade personal time for «couple» time. Depends a lot on the type of person you and your partner are. | ||
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Otolia
France5805 Posts
Yup Yup ... | ||
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chadissilent
Canada1187 Posts
On May 26 2014 16:51 IAmWithStupid wrote: I wonder how many people have full-time jobs here. More importantly, how do they combine dating (and social life in general) and work? I've recently got a nice position and had to move to another city. At first I thought there would be a lot of opportunities, but now I feel this assumption was terribly wrong: after job, sports and healthy 8 hours of sleep (I won't give that up) there is simply no time to go dating. It leaves weekends as only opportunity, but I don't know any couple who would meet once a week and stay positive (sic!) about their relations. I'm not going to lie, you sound like a bit of a princess. Not sacrificing 8 hours of sleep? Many people don't sleep that much. I have a full-time 8-4:30 job, am taking a night course (3 hours/night, 3 days/week), am involved in extra-curriculars with firm deadlines (2 hours/day x2 days/week + 8 hours 1 day/week) and still manage to find time for dating/girlfriend/whatever I have going on. I average 6-7 hours of sleep per night. I think you're glorifying the "busy" life that most students experience once they graduate. If you want to make time for someone, you will. | ||
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VayneAuthority
United States8983 Posts
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chrislacny
United States16 Posts
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WombaT
Northern Ireland26795 Posts
I have a friend who barely seems to sleep at all and is incredibly busy and driven, I don't think I could emulate his schedule without eventually breaking down somehow :p. Sleep is pretty nice and sets you up well for everything you do, as someone who went through the sleep deprived hell of a newborn you are exhausted as soon as you're awake, never mind the rest of the day. Im not whining by any means, you deal with it of course. That said, find the time if you think it's worthwhile by all means. | ||
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KillerSOS
United States4207 Posts
On May 27 2014 07:51 chadissilent wrote: I'm not going to lie, you sound like a bit of a princess. Not sacrificing 8 hours of sleep? Many people don't sleep that much. I have a full-time 8-4:30 job, am taking a night course (3 hours/night, 3 days/week), am involved in extra-curriculars with firm deadlines (2 hours/day x2 days/week + 8 hours 1 day/week) and still manage to find time for dating/girlfriend/whatever I have going on. I average 6-7 hours of sleep per night. I think you're glorifying the "busy" life that most students experience once they graduate. If you want to make time for someone, you will. Sleep isn't constant from person to person. I need on average 7.5 hours or I am just a walking zombie after a few days. | ||
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ZapRoffo
United States5544 Posts
On May 26 2014 16:51 IAmWithStupid wrote: I wonder how many people have full-time jobs here. More importantly, how do they combine dating (and social life in general) and work? I've recently got a nice position and had to move to another city. At first I thought there would be a lot of opportunities, but now I feel this assumption was terribly wrong: after job, sports and healthy 8 hours of sleep (I won't give that up) there is simply no time to go dating. It leaves weekends as only opportunity, but I don't know any couple who would meet once a week and stay positive (sic!) about their relations. The problem might be more that it's a new job in a new city; new jobs are really tiring and taxing on the mind and new jobs in a new city is like double that. It's really hard to feel fresh and wanting to do new things on the same days you work. Once you get used to it a bit more and more things become really routine, it's easier to have the energy to do more. I've been seeing my gf like 1-2 weeknights (usually you give up doing other things that night) and 1-2 weekend days recently and it seems to work. For first dates you can just do them on weekends. I do have a problem myself though--I've sort of overcome loneliness and becmoe much more active, but I'm still quite an introvert at heart, and working 40+ hours a week (and my new job involves lots of emailing/dealing with public), then finding time for the gf and trying to plan things with friends, it feels like I'm under siege by people and I'm rather overwhelmed. I've found myself hoping people will cancel plans and stuff like that to get more quiet time. | ||
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IAmWithStupid
Russian Federation1016 Posts
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