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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Broetchenholer
Profile Joined March 2011
Germany1970 Posts
May 21 2014 11:09 GMT
#9401
At least Okcupid has a range filter. On a pay-site i was for some time (parship) you seriously can only filter by state, which is in my example Baden Württemberg which is about 150x200 km. Seriously. You scroll over 5 girls that live >50 km away to have one hit "near" you and then you have to filter for stuff that actually makes sense to leave in the manual filtering of the user. So fucking stupid. That said, OKcupid is so small in germany, there are at max 5-10 new girls every month and i can't even imagine how they must get bombarded in the first week.
skrzmark
Profile Joined November 2010
United States1528 Posts
May 21 2014 11:36 GMT
#9402
Idk. I just want a Korean girlfriend. I can't have an anti-social girlfriend either, I love doing stuff outside, I mainly game and stay inside because many of my friends are lazy and don't want to do much, also not much to do in Florida without a car.

How are asians/koreans when you date them?
We got them GOM TvT's and them mlGG's
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27478 Posts
May 21 2014 11:38 GMT
#9403
Like people I'd imagine?

Of course there will be cultural differences, I just find the specificity of looking for a Korean girlfriend a bit strange.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
TL+ Member
LeLfe
Profile Joined February 2011
France3160 Posts
May 21 2014 12:02 GMT
#9404
On May 21 2014 20:36 skrzmark wrote:
Idk. I just want a Korean girlfriend. I can't have an anti-social girlfriend either, I love doing stuff outside, I mainly game and stay inside because many of my friends are lazy and don't want to do much, also not much to do in Florida without a car.

How are asians/koreans when you date them?

obviously depends on the girl.. From experience (had Chinese and Malaysian gfs) they're less likely to take the iniative than Westerners and more likely to be cute and caring. But once again, every girl is different no matter where she comes from.
Writer for Red bull (Fr) and Iron Squid (En/Fr) @ClemLeLfe on twitter
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
May 21 2014 18:22 GMT
#9405
On May 21 2014 20:36 skrzmark wrote:
Idk. I just want a Korean girlfriend. I can't have an anti-social girlfriend either, I love doing stuff outside, I mainly game and stay inside because many of my friends are lazy and don't want to do much, also not much to do in Florida without a car.

How are asians/koreans when you date them?

I met one online her whole family was from Laos though, she seemed pretty low maintenance, like she was ok with coming over to cuddle + watch movies and stuff instead of going out and overall she was a pretty nice girl. Even with me I guess you could say being ignorant and bombarding her with questions about Asian culture since she was legit the only Asian girl i've ever met in my life :x.

I have heard alot of them are high maintenance though and I've had very few hits from them online too :\
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
B.I.G.
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
3251 Posts
May 21 2014 19:11 GMT
#9406
I had a Chinese girlfriend once... I agree with the caring part, it seems chinese girls afaik know take the role of girlfriend more serious or something... Regardless of how caring she could be she also gave me more shit than any woman ever has. She was awesome.
TheFish7
Profile Blog Joined February 2012
United States2824 Posts
May 21 2014 20:02 GMT
#9407
Dated a Chinese girl while living in Hangzhou. She was very caring as the above says, almost like her family had explained the role of the woman in a relationship or something. There was no game playing, none of the negative attitude that American girls have towards dating. She seemed like they type who'd always have dinner ready for you when you got home from work. The downside was it took forever to get in her pants. Although that is far from universally true, maybe just true of the one I found, since I know a bunch of guys who took chinese girls home from the club and did the deed the same night. It made for an awkward morning when the girl couldn't speak any english. Also one thing I found strange was that Chinese girls weren't afraid to approach guys at the club. I think it has to do with how shy Chinese guys are. But maybe it had more to do with the clubs I was going to being known places where westerners went, and the girls actively seeking out a western guy for one reason or another.
~ ~ <°)))><~ ~ ~
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
May 21 2014 21:04 GMT
#9408
On May 22 2014 03:22 arb wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 21 2014 20:36 skrzmark wrote:
Idk. I just want a Korean girlfriend. I can't have an anti-social girlfriend either, I love doing stuff outside, I mainly game and stay inside because many of my friends are lazy and don't want to do much, also not much to do in Florida without a car.

How are asians/koreans when you date them?

I met one online her whole family was from Laos though, she seemed pretty low maintenance, like she was ok with coming over to cuddle + watch movies and stuff instead of going out and overall she was a pretty nice girl. Even with me I guess you could say being ignorant and bombarding her with questions about Asian culture since she was legit the only Asian girl i've ever met in my life :x.

I have heard alot of them are high maintenance though and I've had very few hits from them online too :\

Doesn't help that Asian girls tend to get the most attention online, so it's already an uphill battle compared to other ethnicities.
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27478 Posts
May 21 2014 21:14 GMT
#9409
Ok so it's just me that finds the Korean stipulation a bit unhealthy?

This is only in the absence of further information from the poster/me misinterpreting the tone but I think that sort of fetishisation of a particular nationality is a strange starting point to come from .
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
TL+ Member
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
May 21 2014 21:19 GMT
#9410
On May 22 2014 06:14 Wombat_NI wrote:
Ok so it's just me that finds the Korean stipulation a bit unhealthy?

This is only in the absence of further information from the poster/me misinterpreting the tone but I think that sort of fetishisation of a particular nationality is a strange starting point to come from .

i think most educated people consider all forms of racism more than a bit unhealthy
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
Gahlo
Profile Joined February 2010
United States35174 Posts
May 22 2014 00:26 GMT
#9411
3+ years of nothing, rarely interested in anybody, crazy lonely.
WombaT
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Northern Ireland27478 Posts
May 22 2014 00:35 GMT
#9412
That's not necessarily the worst mindset, I find it's being interested in anything that is sad.

Dating and being lonely in that sense aside, are you in a good place personally in your life? Apologies if that's too personal a question. In this aspect I buy the likes of Evo's approach to 'PUA', namely that by being or 'making' yourself into somebody you are happy with, that romance springs from that as a natural consequence of that.
'You'll always be the cuddly marsupial of my heart, despite the inherent flaws of your ancestry' - Squat
TL+ Member
Gahlo
Profile Joined February 2010
United States35174 Posts
May 22 2014 05:35 GMT
#9413
Not really. A lot of things are a mess and I'm at that dilemma of "So many choices, how do I choose where to start without feeling overwhelmed by it all."

I've never been very good at compartmentalizing large tasks.
-Jacob-
Profile Joined November 2010
358 Posts
May 22 2014 06:15 GMT
#9414
From what I have learned, using dating apps on smart phones blow. I currently use POF (plenty of fish) and half the girls I try and talk to (even if they are interested in me first) end up being very short. By that I mean in their answers and questions. I was trying to talk to this cute girl a year younger than me, and all her answers were one word answers so I just gave up and moved on. About a week later she tried talking to me again so I thought I would give her a chance and once again she answered with one word answers.

I find it better to just go out with a group of friends or even to the bar (Just order a light beer if you don't drink) and try to talk to a girl there. Its better to talk in person with a stranger that you aren't on a first date with than trying to connect over a dating site/app
Rawr
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
May 22 2014 07:00 GMT
#9415
On May 22 2014 15:15 -Jacob- wrote:
From what I have learned, using dating apps on smart phones blow. I currently use POF (plenty of fish) and half the girls I try and talk to (even if they are interested in me first) end up being very short. By that I mean in their answers and questions. I was trying to talk to this cute girl a year younger than me, and all her answers were one word answers so I just gave up and moved on. About a week later she tried talking to me again so I thought I would give her a chance and once again she answered with one word answers.

I find it better to just go out with a group of friends or even to the bar (Just order a light beer if you don't drink) and try to talk to a girl there. Its better to talk in person with a stranger that you aren't on a first date with than trying to connect over a dating site/app

I didn't like POF at all when I used it. The entire thing felt cheap compared to okcupid, including the app. The girls on there didn't even seem that appealing. I found better success with other sites.

But IRL stuff is way better than online stuff if you can handle it, which it looks like you can.
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17922 Posts
May 22 2014 08:19 GMT
#9416
On May 22 2014 16:00 eviltomahawk wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 22 2014 15:15 -Jacob- wrote:
From what I have learned, using dating apps on smart phones blow. I currently use POF (plenty of fish) and half the girls I try and talk to (even if they are interested in me first) end up being very short. By that I mean in their answers and questions. I was trying to talk to this cute girl a year younger than me, and all her answers were one word answers so I just gave up and moved on. About a week later she tried talking to me again so I thought I would give her a chance and once again she answered with one word answers.

I find it better to just go out with a group of friends or even to the bar (Just order a light beer if you don't drink) and try to talk to a girl there. Its better to talk in person with a stranger that you aren't on a first date with than trying to connect over a dating site/app

I didn't like POF at all when I used it. The entire thing felt cheap compared to okcupid, including the app. The girls on there didn't even seem that appealing. I found better success with other sites.

But IRL stuff is way better than online stuff if you can handle it, which it looks like you can.

I feel like theres alot more girls on POF but the ones who reply are usually bland and boring, the ones on OKC seem to have more to say/be more apt to go out if you manage to get a response though.
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
ROOTCatZ
Profile Blog Joined June 2005
Peru1238 Posts
May 22 2014 08:59 GMT
#9417
On May 20 2014 16:22 Thereisnosaurus wrote:
Show nested quote +
This is all true. Still it's hard to argue against the statistic of 6 couples getting married through match in a year. That's not really the sign of a good relationship site, and it is also true that unlike with other services, a successful venture into a dating site means you might not need that dating service again. So while customer satisfaction may be necessary for most companies, premium dating services may find it detrimental.


That stat was self-described and also per-day, not per year. It's obviously a massive under-reporting thing because hardly anyone will bother to let the site know they got hitched, whether through it or not.

That said, it's still not great. For the record, I've used OKC for a few years now and while I had trouble figuring the place out to begin with, I've since found it fantastic and met two (concurrent) partners through it, plus a third girl I'm in the initial process of getting to know who seems super cool (she mentioned Day9 and Catz on a date before I even brought up starcraft XD).

my one 'bros' tip is that OKC subs are actually worth it. The biggest thing is you get access to a match filter that filters out people who joined, say, more than a week ago. This means you can look for people new to the site and thus very likely still interested in chatting. After that it's just about making yourself interesting.


she sounds awesome
Progamerwww.root-gaming.com
aTnClouD
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Italy2428 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-22 09:06:33
May 22 2014 09:06 GMT
#9418
On May 22 2014 15:15 -Jacob- wrote:
From what I have learned, using dating apps on smart phones blow. I currently use POF (plenty of fish) and half the girls I try and talk to (even if they are interested in me first) end up being very short. By that I mean in their answers and questions. I was trying to talk to this cute girl a year younger than me, and all her answers were one word answers so I just gave up and moved on. About a week later she tried talking to me again so I thought I would give her a chance and once again she answered with one word answers.

I find it better to just go out with a group of friends or even to the bar (Just order a light beer if you don't drink) and try to talk to a girl there. Its better to talk in person with a stranger that you aren't on a first date with than trying to connect over a dating site/app

The problem with online dating is that girls can only judge you based on your physical appearence (which becomes secondary once you meet them anyway) and if you are not supermodel looking they will not show much interest or investment because they have thousands of guys writing to them. Meeting girls in person is always better.
http://i53.photobucket.com/albums/g64/hunter692007/kruemelmonsteryn0.gif
Monsen
Profile Joined December 2002
Germany2548 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-22 10:09:40
May 22 2014 10:08 GMT
#9419
On May 22 2014 17:59 ROOTCatZ wrote:
Show nested quote +
On May 20 2014 16:22 Thereisnosaurus wrote:
This is all true. Still it's hard to argue against the statistic of 6 couples getting married through match in a year. That's not really the sign of a good relationship site, and it is also true that unlike with other services, a successful venture into a dating site means you might not need that dating service again. So while customer satisfaction may be necessary for most companies, premium dating services may find it detrimental.


That stat was self-described and also per-day, not per year. It's obviously a massive under-reporting thing because hardly anyone will bother to let the site know they got hitched, whether through it or not.

That said, it's still not great. For the record, I've used OKC for a few years now and while I had trouble figuring the place out to begin with, I've since found it fantastic and met two (concurrent) partners through it, plus a third girl I'm in the initial process of getting to know who seems super cool (she mentioned Day9 and Catz on a date before I even brought up starcraft XD).

my one 'bros' tip is that OKC subs are actually worth it. The biggest thing is you get access to a match filter that filters out people who joined, say, more than a week ago. This means you can look for people new to the site and thus very likely still interested in chatting. After that it's just about making yourself interesting.


she sounds awesome


She probably said "Day9 is way more handsome than Catz"!

edit: my bad, it's CatZ obviously. <3
11 years and counting- TL #680
Thereisnosaurus
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Australia1822 Posts
Last Edited: 2014-05-22 11:46:10
May 22 2014 11:45 GMT
#9420
She probably said "Day9 is way more handsome than Catz"!


nah, she just enjoyed catz's stream.

@ I'll tell her you said hi ^^.
Poisonous Sheep counter Hydras
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