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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
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4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On May 20 2014 14:27 obesechicken13 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 11:47 Belisarius wrote:
It's an interesting take but he's obviously biased. The bulk of the article is pretty reasonable, and he's taking pains to give the other two the benefit of the doubt, which I respect. The final section devolves into total nonsense, though.
Ultimately it comes down to how much Match et al. value their current customers' opinions of the site.
I doubt that they use their customers solely for internal advertising. The large subscription blocks and high turnover do support that interpretation, but it also totally disregards the normal conventions that apply to sales. Satisfied customers are worth money, too, both as repeat business and - something which he totally neglects - as word-of-mouth advocates.
I suspect they do show a significant number of dead profiles to people, but I don't think they do it to the extent that he suggests. It's also balanced against the higher density of people on the site who are seriously trying to find a relationship, and the focusing of demographics that comes with a site like eHarmony. This is all true. Still it's hard to argue against the statistic of 6 couples getting married through match in a year. That's not really the sign of a good relationship site, and it is also true that unlike with other services, a successful venture into a dating site means you might not need that dating service again. So while customer satisfaction may be necessary for most companies, premium dating services may find it detrimental. I don't know. I haven't heard enough anecdotal evidence to say which is better. Maybe someone here has found a relationship on a premium site and found nothing through free.
Theres as many dead profiles on OkCupid as there is on Match/Eharmony im sure.
doubt they're exaggerating
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On May 20 2014 14:24 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 14:19 JoeCool wrote:On May 20 2014 06:36 Ghostcom wrote:
So who did you see her with/how did you get shot down? Well, I met her at work and she went with me into our breakroom where she grabbed me from behind, and somehow pushed herself in front of me into my arms. Put her head on my shoulder/chest looked at me and asked: "how are you?" ... I tried to kiss her, she just said "No" relinquished her hold and talked to me like nothing happened. But I feel like this was an important experience for me, our first date was ~five weeks ago. Since then I asked her out two more times, and although these dates did not take place she started to text me about two weeks ago how she misses me, wants to see me, has to think of me all day long and so on ... Plus since she was always looking for every sort of physical contact, I thought that I should give it a try. Learning never stops.  she teasing you real hard
This is precisely the case IMHO. No girl is going to suddenly "miss you so much and want to see you" after being silent for 3 weeks after a first date of all things. Tread carefully JoeCool. From what it looks like, she's fucking with you bigtime.
On May 20 2014 14:27 obesechicken13 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 11:47 Belisarius wrote:
It's an interesting take but he's obviously biased. The bulk of the article is pretty reasonable, and he's taking pains to give the other two the benefit of the doubt, which I respect. The final section devolves into total nonsense, though.
Ultimately it comes down to how much Match et al. value their current customers' opinions of the site.
I doubt that they use their customers solely for internal advertising. The large subscription blocks and high turnover do support that interpretation, but it also totally disregards the normal conventions that apply to sales. Satisfied customers are worth money, too, both as repeat business and - something which he totally neglects - as word-of-mouth advocates.
I suspect they do show a significant number of dead profiles to people, but I don't think they do it to the extent that he suggests. It's also balanced against the higher density of people on the site who are seriously trying to find a relationship, and the focusing of demographics that comes with a site like eHarmony. This is all true. Still it's hard to argue against the statistic of 6 couples getting married through match in a year. That's not really the sign of a good relationship site, and it is also true that unlike with other services, a successful venture into a dating site means you might not need that dating service again. So while customer satisfaction may be necessary for most companies, premium dating services may find it detrimental. I don't know. I haven't heard enough anecdotal evidence to say which is better. Maybe someone here has found a relationship on a premium site and found nothing through free.
I've never used a dating site and I most likely ever won't, but knowing from friends, it's a great way to 'meet' tons of people you'd probably never meet otherwise. It's certainly far more efficient and possibly a lot more effective than any degree of approaching and acquainting with lots of ladies, which is what I do / have done heh.
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On May 20 2014 14:27 obesechicken13 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 11:47 Belisarius wrote:
It's an interesting take but he's obviously biased. The bulk of the article is pretty reasonable, and he's taking pains to give the other two the benefit of the doubt, which I respect. The final section devolves into total nonsense, though.
Ultimately it comes down to how much Match et al. value their current customers' opinions of the site.
I doubt that they use their customers solely for internal advertising. The large subscription blocks and high turnover do support that interpretation, but it also totally disregards the normal conventions that apply to sales. Satisfied customers are worth money, too, both as repeat business and - something which he totally neglects - as word-of-mouth advocates.
I suspect they do show a significant number of dead profiles to people, but I don't think they do it to the extent that he suggests. It's also balanced against the higher density of people on the site who are seriously trying to find a relationship, and the focusing of demographics that comes with a site like eHarmony. This is all true. Still it's hard to argue against the statistic of 6 couples getting married through match in a year. That's not really the sign of a good relationship site, and it is also true that unlike with other services, a successful venture into a dating site means you might not need that dating service again. So while customer satisfaction may be necessary for most companies, premium dating services may find it detrimental. I don't know. I haven't heard enough anecdotal evidence to say which is better. Maybe someone here has found a relationship on a premium site and found nothing through free.
Match marriages are six per day lol, at least according to that article. That's not actually too bad. Although I would question how they count those couples in the first place, considering that both people would have long since stopped using match by the time they tied the knot.
I've personally not used either, I'm just interested from the stat-twisting perspective.
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United States43255 Posts
On May 20 2014 13:39 LeeDawg wrote:
hypocrites are the best kind of people ever.
Spend all kinds of time and effort into one person, only to be met with double standards galore.
she rants and raves how I can't get jealous when she flirts with guys in front of me, but one girl thinks i'm cute and it's the end of the world. She insists that she only wants to be open with communication, but if I say how I feel, I'm the bad guy. Nevermind that she's allowed to give me the silent treatment and refuse to say why. She can insist she wants space, but she still comes to the place I work, 7 fucking days a week to hang out. If I say I want space, I'm making it all about me.
what a fucking waste of time.
Ditch the teenager, find an adult.
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does dead profiles refer to inactive profiles of past users or is it profiles that were falsly made by the provider to make the site seem more attractive
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This is all true. Still it's hard to argue against the statistic of 6 couples getting married through match in a year. That's not really the sign of a good relationship site, and it is also true that unlike with other services, a successful venture into a dating site means you might not need that dating service again. So while customer satisfaction may be necessary for most companies, premium dating services may find it detrimental.
That stat was self-described and also per-day, not per year. It's obviously a massive under-reporting thing because hardly anyone will bother to let the site know they got hitched, whether through it or not.
That said, it's still not great. For the record, I've used OKC for a few years now and while I had trouble figuring the place out to begin with, I've since found it fantastic and met two (concurrent) partners through it, plus a third girl I'm in the initial process of getting to know who seems super cool (she mentioned Day9 and Catz on a date before I even brought up starcraft XD).
my one 'bros' tip is that OKC subs are actually worth it. The biggest thing is you get access to a match filter that filters out people who joined, say, more than a week ago. This means you can look for people new to the site and thus very likely still interested in chatting. After that it's just about making yourself interesting.
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On May 20 2014 16:07 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
does dead profiles refer to inactive profiles of past users or is it profiles that were falsly made by the provider to make the site seem more attractive
users who havent been on in months but still clog up your search filter etc
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On May 20 2014 15:18 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 14:24 arb wrote:On May 20 2014 14:19 JoeCool wrote:On May 20 2014 06:36 Ghostcom wrote:
So who did you see her with/how did you get shot down? Well, I met her at work and she went with me into our breakroom where she grabbed me from behind, and somehow pushed herself in front of me into my arms. Put her head on my shoulder/chest looked at me and asked: "how are you?" ... I tried to kiss her, she just said "No" relinquished her hold and talked to me like nothing happened. But I feel like this was an important experience for me, our first date was ~five weeks ago. Since then I asked her out two more times, and although these dates did not take place she started to text me about two weeks ago how she misses me, wants to see me, has to think of me all day long and so on ... Plus since she was always looking for every sort of physical contact, I thought that I should give it a try. Learning never stops. she teasing you real hard This is precisely the case IMHO. No girl is going to suddenly "miss you so much and want to see you" after being silent for 3 weeks after a first date of all things. Tread carefully JoeCool. From what it looks like, she's fucking with you bigtime.
Yep, she was just toying with me. I know that by now.
Nevertheless I sent her a message yesterday in the evening, asking whether I was wrong about her/the situation between us. It´s obvious that she was just teasing and I´m not expecting an answer, but I somehow felt the urge to take this step in order to bring this situation to a close.
Like I said before, learning never stops. And I am kinda grateful for this experience.
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On May 20 2014 19:40 JoeCool wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 15:18 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:On May 20 2014 14:24 arb wrote:On May 20 2014 14:19 JoeCool wrote:On May 20 2014 06:36 Ghostcom wrote:
So who did you see her with/how did you get shot down? Well, I met her at work and she went with me into our breakroom where she grabbed me from behind, and somehow pushed herself in front of me into my arms. Put her head on my shoulder/chest looked at me and asked: "how are you?" ... I tried to kiss her, she just said "No" relinquished her hold and talked to me like nothing happened. But I feel like this was an important experience for me, our first date was ~five weeks ago. Since then I asked her out two more times, and although these dates did not take place she started to text me about two weeks ago how she misses me, wants to see me, has to think of me all day long and so on ... Plus since she was always looking for every sort of physical contact, I thought that I should give it a try. Learning never stops. she teasing you real hard This is precisely the case IMHO. No girl is going to suddenly "miss you so much and want to see you" after being silent for 3 weeks after a first date of all things. Tread carefully JoeCool. From what it looks like, she's fucking with you bigtime. Yep, she was just toying with me. I know that by now. Nevertheless I sent her a message yesterday in the evening, asking whether I was wrong about her/the situation between us. It´s obvious that she was just teasing and I´m not expecting an answer, but I somehow felt the urge to take this step in order to bring this situation to a close. Like I said before, learning never stops. And I am kinda grateful for this experience.
Obviously you haven't learned anything yet.
Stop messaging her, ffs.
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On May 20 2014 19:40 JoeCool wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 15:18 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:On May 20 2014 14:24 arb wrote:On May 20 2014 14:19 JoeCool wrote:On May 20 2014 06:36 Ghostcom wrote:
So who did you see her with/how did you get shot down? Well, I met her at work and she went with me into our breakroom where she grabbed me from behind, and somehow pushed herself in front of me into my arms. Put her head on my shoulder/chest looked at me and asked: "how are you?" ... I tried to kiss her, she just said "No" relinquished her hold and talked to me like nothing happened. But I feel like this was an important experience for me, our first date was ~five weeks ago. Since then I asked her out two more times, and although these dates did not take place she started to text me about two weeks ago how she misses me, wants to see me, has to think of me all day long and so on ... Plus since she was always looking for every sort of physical contact, I thought that I should give it a try. Learning never stops. she teasing you real hard This is precisely the case IMHO. No girl is going to suddenly "miss you so much and want to see you" after being silent for 3 weeks after a first date of all things. Tread carefully JoeCool. From what it looks like, she's fucking with you bigtime. Yep, she was just toying with me. I know that by now. Nevertheless I sent her a message yesterday in the evening, asking whether I was wrong about her/the situation between us. It´s obvious that she was just teasing and I´m not expecting an answer, but I somehow felt the urge to take this step in order to bring this situation to a close. Like I said before, learning never stops. And I am kinda grateful for this experience.
I feel like in this day and age you should get over your text messaging shit(that was you wasnt it?) and text someone more than once every couple days.
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On May 20 2014 20:05 SixStrings wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 19:40 JoeCool wrote:On May 20 2014 15:18 JudicatorHammurabi wrote:On May 20 2014 14:24 arb wrote:On May 20 2014 14:19 JoeCool wrote:On May 20 2014 06:36 Ghostcom wrote:
So who did you see her with/how did you get shot down? Well, I met her at work and she went with me into our breakroom where she grabbed me from behind, and somehow pushed herself in front of me into my arms. Put her head on my shoulder/chest looked at me and asked: "how are you?" ... I tried to kiss her, she just said "No" relinquished her hold and talked to me like nothing happened. But I feel like this was an important experience for me, our first date was ~five weeks ago. Since then I asked her out two more times, and although these dates did not take place she started to text me about two weeks ago how she misses me, wants to see me, has to think of me all day long and so on ... Plus since she was always looking for every sort of physical contact, I thought that I should give it a try. Learning never stops. she teasing you real hard This is precisely the case IMHO. No girl is going to suddenly "miss you so much and want to see you" after being silent for 3 weeks after a first date of all things. Tread carefully JoeCool. From what it looks like, she's fucking with you bigtime. Yep, she was just toying with me. I know that by now. Nevertheless I sent her a message yesterday in the evening, asking whether I was wrong about her/the situation between us. It´s obvious that she was just teasing and I´m not expecting an answer, but I somehow felt the urge to take this step in order to bring this situation to a close. Like I said before, learning never stops. And I am kinda grateful for this experience. Obviously you haven't learned anything yet. Stop messaging her, ffs.
Uh oh, I agree with sixstrings!
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On May 20 2014 18:45 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 16:07 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
does dead profiles refer to inactive profiles of past users or is it profiles that were falsly made by the provider to make the site seem more attractive users who havent been on in months but still clog up your search filter etc
Well on OKC you can see when the person was last online, and how close to the top they appear in your "browse matches" depends on their activity levels, so you can avoid dead profiles like that. I have noticed that if you click the profiles on the left column under "You Might Like" that they are often inactives.
It's disappointing that they stopped putting these articles out when they got bought up because they usually are pretty interesting.
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On May 20 2014 15:50 KwarK wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 13:39 LeeDawg wrote:
hypocrites are the best kind of people ever.
Spend all kinds of time and effort into one person, only to be met with double standards galore.
she rants and raves how I can't get jealous when she flirts with guys in front of me, but one girl thinks i'm cute and it's the end of the world. She insists that she only wants to be open with communication, but if I say how I feel, I'm the bad guy. Nevermind that she's allowed to give me the silent treatment and refuse to say why. She can insist she wants space, but she still comes to the place I work, 7 fucking days a week to hang out. If I say I want space, I'm making it all about me.
what a fucking waste of time. Ditch the teenager, find an adult.
she's 25.
mentally, she's clearly 12, though.
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well I had this weird encounter with a girl which I study with:
weve been talking about our beliefs ,books , art , stuff and we had this strong connection and all , it turned out she is pretty religious which I didnt mind at all.
things went flawlessly for some time with some calls , texts but she would not date with some excuse the first time I asked. Then we went to this congress together and had a walk holding her by the waist and that I didnt dare to kiss because there were other friends with us but the thing seemed obvious for me.
And then suddenly she starts acting weird , I ask her for a date for a second time and again she got an excuse... im starting to think this is going to hell and theres no way to fix it , its sad bc i liked the girl and in class we continue being nice to each other but I can feel the awkwardness in the air sometimes.
well , im taking it the calm way , trying not to feel anxious and treating her normally ; any good ideas are welcome though , i dont know if I should bring the issue up... sometimes thought about it but dont think its gonna fix anything , maybe its better letting it flow and "what will be will be".
Ideas are welcome guys
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Find a different girl. You asked her out twice and she said no twice. Anything that is not a yes is a no. Maybe she's getting pressure from her family and friends not to date someone who is not religious. Or maybe she just doesn't like you. Find a different girl, she's not special.
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THIS FORUM IS PATHETIC, 3 YEARS OF FUCKING RETARDS ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT A BITCH AINT ONE HIT ME
User was temp banned for this post.
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On May 21 2014 02:41 Fumanchu wrote:
Find a different girl. You asked her out twice and she said no twice. Anything that is not a yes is a no. Maybe she's getting pressure from her family and friends not to date someone who is not religious. Or maybe she just doesn't like you. Find a different girl, she's not special.
yeah , thats my feeling bro , always good to hear it from someone though
I really did think she was special though , its funny how everytime i thought this about a girl i never accomplished anything lol
time to man up and keep on going my way.
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On May 20 2014 22:08 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 18:45 arb wrote:On May 20 2014 16:07 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
does dead profiles refer to inactive profiles of past users or is it profiles that were falsly made by the provider to make the site seem more attractive users who havent been on in months but still clog up your search filter etc Well on OKC you can see when the person was last online, and how close to the top they appear in your "browse matches" depends on their activity levels, so you can avoid dead profiles like that. I have noticed that if you click the profiles on the left column under "You Might Like" that they are often inactives. It's disappointing that they stopped putting these articles out when they got bought up because they usually are pretty interesting.
Yes but the number will drastically drop when you filter out to something like "online a week ago" or whatever. Usually when i was looking around on OKC(where i met pretty banging hot azn girl that i ended up banging sweet jesus) i always set filter to online in the last week, since anything over that is usually gonna be dead you don't need to fuck with it.
I think paying for OKC for those filters, since its like 10$ a month or something really cheap if youre gonna seriously try to find dates is pretty worth it honestly.
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On May 21 2014 03:43 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On May 20 2014 22:08 Najda wrote:On May 20 2014 18:45 arb wrote:On May 20 2014 16:07 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
does dead profiles refer to inactive profiles of past users or is it profiles that were falsly made by the provider to make the site seem more attractive users who havent been on in months but still clog up your search filter etc Well on OKC you can see when the person was last online, and how close to the top they appear in your "browse matches" depends on their activity levels, so you can avoid dead profiles like that. I have noticed that if you click the profiles on the left column under "You Might Like" that they are often inactives. It's disappointing that they stopped putting these articles out when they got bought up because they usually are pretty interesting. Yes but the number will drastically drop when you filter out to something like "online a week ago" or whatever. Usually when i was looking around on OKC(where i met pretty banging hot azn girl that i ended up banging sweet jesus) i always set filter to online in the last week, since anything over that is usually gonna be dead you don't need to fuck with it. I think paying for OKC for those filters, since its like 10$ a month or something really cheap if youre gonna seriously try to find dates is pretty worth it honestly.
I'm pretty sure most of those filters are free, especially useful ones like last online, age, distance, match/friend/enemy %, ethnicity, and more. The paid filters tended to be less useful ones like weight and height and stuff. It has been a while since I used the site so maybe I'm mistaken on a few things or stuff has changed. Still, I managed to score a good number of dates on it with help from the free filters.
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On May 21 2014 04:15 eviltomahawk wrote:Show nested quote +On May 21 2014 03:43 arb wrote:On May 20 2014 22:08 Najda wrote:On May 20 2014 18:45 arb wrote:On May 20 2014 16:07 Kleinmuuhg wrote:
does dead profiles refer to inactive profiles of past users or is it profiles that were falsly made by the provider to make the site seem more attractive users who havent been on in months but still clog up your search filter etc Well on OKC you can see when the person was last online, and how close to the top they appear in your "browse matches" depends on their activity levels, so you can avoid dead profiles like that. I have noticed that if you click the profiles on the left column under "You Might Like" that they are often inactives. It's disappointing that they stopped putting these articles out when they got bought up because they usually are pretty interesting. Yes but the number will drastically drop when you filter out to something like "online a week ago" or whatever. Usually when i was looking around on OKC(where i met pretty banging hot azn girl that i ended up banging sweet jesus) i always set filter to online in the last week, since anything over that is usually gonna be dead you don't need to fuck with it. I think paying for OKC for those filters, since its like 10$ a month or something really cheap if youre gonna seriously try to find dates is pretty worth it honestly. I'm pretty sure most of those filters are free, especially useful ones like last online, age, distance, match/friend/enemy %, ethnicity, and more. The paid filters tended to be less useful ones like weight and height and stuff. It has been a while since I used the site so maybe I'm mistaken on a few things or stuff has changed. Still, I managed to score a good number of dates on it with help from the free filters.
Only one I really enjoy is the viewed message one tbh. That makes it alot easier to tell what works/doesnt work when you can tell when a girl read it compared to when she may have just ignored it or is never gonna use the site again.
I dunno its cheap so i used but to each there own lol
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EPT
