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can't say it to their face so saying it here

Blogs > Race is Terran
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Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
July 09 2013 15:44 GMT
#1
Well, this morning as I took a seat at the kitchen table, my dad told me that we were going to on a vacation to the Adirondack Mountains and that we were going to stay at the crown plaza hotel (appearently it's a fairly nice hotel). At this point, I started to get this uneasy, akward feeling because I didn't want to go on another trip with my parents, follow them around for a couple days, and then stay in the same hotel room with them for a couple days.

We have done this before, go somewhere, stay in hotel, look around places, and over the years I've come to realize, it is just not fulfilling. Some of my earliest vacation memories are "stop your negative attitude right now" or "stop your negative attitude, why do you have such a negative attidude?" or "if you don't stop your negative attitude, ______ will happen to you". and it all sucked.

This was obviously a learning lesson full of errors, but I finally learned, and learned the hard way through trial and error, that the only way that there would be a different outcome would be to remain quiet and obedient. Do nothing out of the ordinary, and most important, be quiet and wait patiently until it's all over.

So I am sorry, but the reason why I don't want to go on this vacation with my parents is, in fact, because of them.
[image loading]

+ Show Spoiler +
just needed somewhere to say this, even if it is just the internet


*
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44313 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 15:49:01
July 09 2013 15:48 GMT
#2
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Megaliskuu
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5123 Posts
July 09 2013 15:59 GMT
#3
How old are you?
|BW>Everything|Add me on star2 KR server TheMuTaL.675 for practice games :)|NEX clan| https://www.dotabuff.com/players/183104694
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
July 09 2013 15:59 GMT
#4
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand my milk is out my nose! ROFL

OP: I assume you're young. Try and enjoy having nights at fancy hotels, meals, and trips paid for for you. Parents are people too. You are an expensive guest and they would have more fun without you too. They are just being nice.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9618 Posts
July 09 2013 16:00 GMT
#5
or maybe try taking the 'lose the negative attitude' thing to heart.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 16:03:22
July 09 2013 16:02 GMT
#6
On July 10 2013 00:59 ComaDose wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand my milk is out my nose! ROFL

OP: I assume you're young. Try and enjoy having nights at fancy hotels, meals, and trips paid for for you. Parents are people too. You are an expensive guest and they would have more fun without you too. They are just being nice.

Im 19. Im just at the point where I realize my time is valuable and that I want to enjoy the company that I keep, especially to these nice trips away. We are going to visit our relatives the week before, and I would rather spend time in their shitty house with people that make me feel good/happy than being with people who dampen my mood/spirits

On July 10 2013 01:00 Gene wrote:
or maybe try taking the 'lose the negative attitude' thing to heart.

well their definition of a negative attitude was a bit austere. There were times when I didn't even have a negative mood but my parents kept telling me to change my attitude and that itself created my negative attitude towards the trips
Velr
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Switzerland10700 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 16:03:51
July 09 2013 16:03 GMT
#7
Or just ask them if a friend can join you.


That was my way to make this stuff bearable/fun


Edit: Dude, your 19? Why do you even go with them if you hate it?
Fumanchu
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada669 Posts
July 09 2013 16:05 GMT
#8
If you're living on your own, just tell them you're not going. If you're still living at home, realize that every single thing you have or accomplished is because of what they've provided for you. So just suck it up and play nice.
Easy doesnt fit into grownup life.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
July 09 2013 16:05 GMT
#9
On July 10 2013 01:03 Velr wrote:
Or just ask them if a friend can join you.


That was my way to make this stuff bearable/fun


Edit: Dude, your 19? Why do you even go with them if you hate it?

it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them
HaRuHi
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
1220 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 16:08:19
July 09 2013 16:07 GMT
#10
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^
Tobberoth
Profile Joined August 2010
Sweden6375 Posts
July 09 2013 16:19 GMT
#11
You must be one busy 19 year old to consider your time too valuable to get a free trip to a nice hotel in the mountains.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
July 09 2013 16:20 GMT
#12
On July 10 2013 01:07 HaRuHi wrote:
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
Show nested quote +
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^

I just feel bad, it's not my parents fault they turned out the way they behave, and they love and support me. But their love can kind of be too much sometimes if that makes sense and I just feel bad for them.

If I was a parent, I think it would make me pretty sad if my oldest kid told me he didnt want to go on a vacation with me because of me
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44313 Posts
July 09 2013 16:26 GMT
#13
On July 10 2013 01:20 Race is Terran wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 01:07 HaRuHi wrote:
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^

I just feel bad, it's not my parents fault they turned out the way they behave, and they love and support me. But their love can kind of be too much sometimes if that makes sense and I just feel bad for them.

If I was a parent, I think it would make me pretty sad if my oldest kid told me he didnt want to go on a vacation with me because of me


You sound incredibly self-entitled. If I were your parent, I'd leave you at home... but not because you're bored; because it doesn't sound like you value what your parents are offering you.

I'd recommend leaving the house, living on your own, and saving up for your own vacations. lol.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Xenocide_Knight
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Korea (South)2625 Posts
July 09 2013 16:50 GMT
#14
You never really appreciate family vacations until you have to save up for your own damn vacations. It's tricky to get to a nice hotel in the mountains when your options are 1. I could eat today or 2. I could save up .1% towards my future vacation.

But I feel you, I used to dislike family trips too. Boring, tedious affairs where you basically hop from tourist attraction to tourist attraction and then sit around in a hotel room wishing you were back at home. It really does come down to your mindset and attitude though. Your outlook is what makes experiences fulfilling, not the experience itself.
On July 10 2013 01:20 Race is Terran wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 01:07 HaRuHi wrote:
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^

If I was a parent, I think it would make me pretty sad if my oldest kid told me he didnt want to go on a vacation with me because of me

Honestly, I don't think they'll be too worried about that. I could totally understand my teenage son not wanting to spend time with me. But what would make me sad is seeing my son missing opportunities to be happy.

Shine[Kal] #1 fan
Stratos_speAr
Profile Joined May 2009
United States6959 Posts
July 09 2013 16:51 GMT
#15
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.


This. Why don't you want to go on a trip with them? There needs to be a decent reason, or else you're just being whiny.
A sound mind in a sound body, is a short, but full description of a happy state in this World: he that has these two, has little more to wish for; and he that wants either of them, will be little the better for anything else.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32051 Posts
July 09 2013 16:56 GMT
#16
On July 10 2013 01:20 Race is Terran wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 01:07 HaRuHi wrote:
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^

I just feel bad, it's not my parents fault they turned out the way they behave, and they love and support me. But their love can kind of be too much sometimes if that makes sense and I just feel bad for them.

If I was a parent, I think it would make me pretty sad if my oldest kid told me he didnt want to go on a vacation with me because of me


maybe try involving yourself in the vacation process of finding more interesting stuff to do? talk to them like an adult too. like, hey i love you guys, but when you guys constantly beat me down for being negative, it makes me feel as if you dont consider my perspective at all. at the same time, listen to wahtever tehy have to say.

i mean, there is a chance that your parents can be a huge drag or whatever, but you should engage them in conversation rather than begrudgingly go along. find ways to make it better for all of you. you can articulate that their attitude irks you a bit without being a dick
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
ffadicted
Profile Joined January 2011
United States3545 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 17:37:03
July 09 2013 17:16 GMT
#17
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.


[image loading]

Agree completely with this response. Blog just sounds like you're whining about being a spoiled child and getting to go on trips lol Enjoy the time with your damn family man
SooYoung-Noona!
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9618 Posts
July 09 2013 17:23 GMT
#18
nah it's a fairly legitimate issue for some people, but honestly not at 19. if you were still a kid and not capable of doing things on your own to be entertained it would be different. but that time has come and gone and now what you're faced with is an opportunity to go somewhere nice on your parents dime.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 17:37:26
July 09 2013 17:35 GMT
#19
Well thisi has given me things to think about, such as it is an opportunity to go someplaces for free all paid expenses.

I still am not sure about the spending time with my family part though, in the past, it has been a difficult issue that I've had to suck up and do. It doesn't feel like "family", it feels more like being obligated to do certain things for them because they put me into this world

edit: My parents and I although we believe in unconditional love, they tend to rope tiny little conditions to it, like the smallprint in a contract that you just kinda gloss over and then realize the stuff in small print was actually a very important condition of the agreement
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9618 Posts
July 09 2013 17:39 GMT
#20
that is exactly family to a lottt of people. expect to feel that obligation for a long time coming. at some point during that trip you'll have fulfilled the obligation and hopefully after that do something more enjoyable. good luck
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