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can't say it to their face so saying it here

Blogs > Race is Terran
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Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
July 09 2013 15:44 GMT
#1
Well, this morning as I took a seat at the kitchen table, my dad told me that we were going to on a vacation to the Adirondack Mountains and that we were going to stay at the crown plaza hotel (appearently it's a fairly nice hotel). At this point, I started to get this uneasy, akward feeling because I didn't want to go on another trip with my parents, follow them around for a couple days, and then stay in the same hotel room with them for a couple days.

We have done this before, go somewhere, stay in hotel, look around places, and over the years I've come to realize, it is just not fulfilling. Some of my earliest vacation memories are "stop your negative attitude right now" or "stop your negative attitude, why do you have such a negative attidude?" or "if you don't stop your negative attitude, ______ will happen to you". and it all sucked.

This was obviously a learning lesson full of errors, but I finally learned, and learned the hard way through trial and error, that the only way that there would be a different outcome would be to remain quiet and obedient. Do nothing out of the ordinary, and most important, be quiet and wait patiently until it's all over.

So I am sorry, but the reason why I don't want to go on this vacation with my parents is, in fact, because of them.
[image loading]

+ Show Spoiler +
just needed somewhere to say this, even if it is just the internet


*
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45221 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 15:49:01
July 09 2013 15:48 GMT
#2
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Megaliskuu
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States5123 Posts
July 09 2013 15:59 GMT
#3
How old are you?
|BW>Everything|Add me on star2 KR server TheMuTaL.675 for practice games :)|NEX clan| https://www.dotabuff.com/players/183104694
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
July 09 2013 15:59 GMT
#4
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand my milk is out my nose! ROFL

OP: I assume you're young. Try and enjoy having nights at fancy hotels, meals, and trips paid for for you. Parents are people too. You are an expensive guest and they would have more fun without you too. They are just being nice.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9636 Posts
July 09 2013 16:00 GMT
#5
or maybe try taking the 'lose the negative attitude' thing to heart.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 16:03:22
July 09 2013 16:02 GMT
#6
On July 10 2013 00:59 ComaDose wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaand my milk is out my nose! ROFL

OP: I assume you're young. Try and enjoy having nights at fancy hotels, meals, and trips paid for for you. Parents are people too. You are an expensive guest and they would have more fun without you too. They are just being nice.

Im 19. Im just at the point where I realize my time is valuable and that I want to enjoy the company that I keep, especially to these nice trips away. We are going to visit our relatives the week before, and I would rather spend time in their shitty house with people that make me feel good/happy than being with people who dampen my mood/spirits

On July 10 2013 01:00 Gene wrote:
or maybe try taking the 'lose the negative attitude' thing to heart.

well their definition of a negative attitude was a bit austere. There were times when I didn't even have a negative mood but my parents kept telling me to change my attitude and that itself created my negative attitude towards the trips
Velr
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Switzerland10834 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 16:03:51
July 09 2013 16:03 GMT
#7
Or just ask them if a friend can join you.


That was my way to make this stuff bearable/fun


Edit: Dude, your 19? Why do you even go with them if you hate it?
Fumanchu
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
Canada669 Posts
July 09 2013 16:05 GMT
#8
If you're living on your own, just tell them you're not going. If you're still living at home, realize that every single thing you have or accomplished is because of what they've provided for you. So just suck it up and play nice.
Easy doesnt fit into grownup life.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
July 09 2013 16:05 GMT
#9
On July 10 2013 01:03 Velr wrote:
Or just ask them if a friend can join you.


That was my way to make this stuff bearable/fun


Edit: Dude, your 19? Why do you even go with them if you hate it?

it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them
HaRuHi
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
1220 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 16:08:19
July 09 2013 16:07 GMT
#10
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^
Tobberoth
Profile Joined August 2010
Sweden6375 Posts
July 09 2013 16:19 GMT
#11
You must be one busy 19 year old to consider your time too valuable to get a free trip to a nice hotel in the mountains.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
July 09 2013 16:20 GMT
#12
On July 10 2013 01:07 HaRuHi wrote:
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
Show nested quote +
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^

I just feel bad, it's not my parents fault they turned out the way they behave, and they love and support me. But their love can kind of be too much sometimes if that makes sense and I just feel bad for them.

If I was a parent, I think it would make me pretty sad if my oldest kid told me he didnt want to go on a vacation with me because of me
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45221 Posts
July 09 2013 16:26 GMT
#13
On July 10 2013 01:20 Race is Terran wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 01:07 HaRuHi wrote:
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^

I just feel bad, it's not my parents fault they turned out the way they behave, and they love and support me. But their love can kind of be too much sometimes if that makes sense and I just feel bad for them.

If I was a parent, I think it would make me pretty sad if my oldest kid told me he didnt want to go on a vacation with me because of me


You sound incredibly self-entitled. If I were your parent, I'd leave you at home... but not because you're bored; because it doesn't sound like you value what your parents are offering you.

I'd recommend leaving the house, living on your own, and saving up for your own vacations. lol.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Xenocide_Knight
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Korea (South)2625 Posts
July 09 2013 16:50 GMT
#14
You never really appreciate family vacations until you have to save up for your own damn vacations. It's tricky to get to a nice hotel in the mountains when your options are 1. I could eat today or 2. I could save up .1% towards my future vacation.

But I feel you, I used to dislike family trips too. Boring, tedious affairs where you basically hop from tourist attraction to tourist attraction and then sit around in a hotel room wishing you were back at home. It really does come down to your mindset and attitude though. Your outlook is what makes experiences fulfilling, not the experience itself.
On July 10 2013 01:20 Race is Terran wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 01:07 HaRuHi wrote:
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^

If I was a parent, I think it would make me pretty sad if my oldest kid told me he didnt want to go on a vacation with me because of me

Honestly, I don't think they'll be too worried about that. I could totally understand my teenage son not wanting to spend time with me. But what would make me sad is seeing my son missing opportunities to be happy.

Shine[Kal] #1 fan
Stratos_speAr
Profile Joined May 2009
United States6959 Posts
July 09 2013 16:51 GMT
#15
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.


This. Why don't you want to go on a trip with them? There needs to be a decent reason, or else you're just being whiny.
A sound mind in a sound body, is a short, but full description of a happy state in this World: he that has these two, has little more to wish for; and he that wants either of them, will be little the better for anything else.
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32106 Posts
July 09 2013 16:56 GMT
#16
On July 10 2013 01:20 Race is Terran wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 01:07 HaRuHi wrote:
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^

I just feel bad, it's not my parents fault they turned out the way they behave, and they love and support me. But their love can kind of be too much sometimes if that makes sense and I just feel bad for them.

If I was a parent, I think it would make me pretty sad if my oldest kid told me he didnt want to go on a vacation with me because of me


maybe try involving yourself in the vacation process of finding more interesting stuff to do? talk to them like an adult too. like, hey i love you guys, but when you guys constantly beat me down for being negative, it makes me feel as if you dont consider my perspective at all. at the same time, listen to wahtever tehy have to say.

i mean, there is a chance that your parents can be a huge drag or whatever, but you should engage them in conversation rather than begrudgingly go along. find ways to make it better for all of you. you can articulate that their attitude irks you a bit without being a dick
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
ffadicted
Profile Joined January 2011
United States3545 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 17:37:03
July 09 2013 17:16 GMT
#17
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.


[image loading]

Agree completely with this response. Blog just sounds like you're whining about being a spoiled child and getting to go on trips lol Enjoy the time with your damn family man
SooYoung-Noona!
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9636 Posts
July 09 2013 17:23 GMT
#18
nah it's a fairly legitimate issue for some people, but honestly not at 19. if you were still a kid and not capable of doing things on your own to be entertained it would be different. but that time has come and gone and now what you're faced with is an opportunity to go somewhere nice on your parents dime.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 17:37:26
July 09 2013 17:35 GMT
#19
Well thisi has given me things to think about, such as it is an opportunity to go someplaces for free all paid expenses.

I still am not sure about the spending time with my family part though, in the past, it has been a difficult issue that I've had to suck up and do. It doesn't feel like "family", it feels more like being obligated to do certain things for them because they put me into this world

edit: My parents and I although we believe in unconditional love, they tend to rope tiny little conditions to it, like the smallprint in a contract that you just kinda gloss over and then realize the stuff in small print was actually a very important condition of the agreement
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9636 Posts
July 09 2013 17:39 GMT
#20
that is exactly family to a lottt of people. expect to feel that obligation for a long time coming. at some point during that trip you'll have fulfilled the obligation and hopefully after that do something more enjoyable. good luck
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 17:49:21
July 09 2013 17:44 GMT
#21
You seem like a spoiled brat to me. I know this is not really backed up by a lot of evidence, but that's just the feeling I get from reading your post. Also in this society it's a pretty easy bet.

And I am sorry, but cant you understand that your parents after caring and paying for you 19 years long are entitled have a family holiday without their kid constantly being negativ without any good reason?

You're just receving all your live long and you are so selfish that you cannot even give back that little? Disgusting.
This is our town, scrub
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18845 Posts
July 09 2013 17:45 GMT
#22
The Adirondacks are fucking gorgeous. I'll go in your place, how's that sound?
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
danl9rm
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States3111 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 19:10:09
July 09 2013 19:08 GMT
#23
I'm guessing you'd feel differently if you hadn't seen them for years, they had cancer, or maybe they were even dead. Realize that this could will be the case down the line, at some point not of your choosing, and that you better enjoy your time with them now.

No one has perfect parents. Even the parents you think are perfect, their kids have hated them too. The fact that you've even made it to 19 yrs of age and are being invited on a family vacation is enough to show they care about you - to some extent. They fed you (all the while you slung the food back at them), changed your diapers, all 1 million of them (only slight exaggeration, can u tell I have a baby yet?), got up every time you cried (multiple times a night for who knows how long), and although they've screwed up more times than you or they can count, they're your family. They're your parents. Enjoy them while they last. There are many orphans in the world that would give anything to have them, as awful as they are.

All that said, I've been on trips I didn't want to be on. Sometimes it's just best to bite the bullet and have as much fun as you can. You won't regret it in the long run. Good luck, man.
"Science has so well established that the preborn baby in the womb is a living human being that most pro-choice activists have conceded the point. ..since the abortion proponents have lost the science argument, they are now advocating an existential one."
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
July 09 2013 19:40 GMT
#24
I guess that is the nice way to phrase it, good job danl9rm.
This is our town, scrub
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
July 09 2013 19:47 GMT
#25
I think I will go, this blog was helpful to see things differently
DamageControL
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States4222 Posts
July 09 2013 19:57 GMT
#26
On July 10 2013 04:47 Race is Terran wrote:
I think I will go, this blog was helpful to see things differently

gonna recognize this shit...most people just keep defending themselves into oblivion.

Way to actually listen to the responses on your blog. Not super common.
Liquid | SKT
AnachronisticAnarchy
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States2957 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 20:00:02
July 09 2013 19:58 GMT
#27
"How are you?" "I am fine, because it is not normal to scream in pain."
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18845 Posts
July 09 2013 20:02 GMT
#28
On July 10 2013 04:57 DamageControL wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 04:47 Race is Terran wrote:
I think I will go, this blog was helpful to see things differently

gonna recognize this shit...most people just keep defending themselves into oblivion.

Way to actually listen to the responses on your blog. Not super common.

Word, admitting to a change in perspective on the internet takes some real gusto. Try and enjoy yourself OP!
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
July 09 2013 20:15 GMT
#29
Agreed, kudos!
This is our town, scrub
wingpawn
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Poland1342 Posts
July 09 2013 20:39 GMT
#30
You aren't negative; you're just realistic amongst unreasonably positive. Welcome to The Land of Depression where everyone around you is seeing the world through their optimistic delusions and you are one of the few who was really interested in the reality regardless of it's saddening shape. Don't panic - just embrace it without overthinking, because as long as you stay objective on the facts, it will be you who will end up being right.

And the fact that you love your parents as people who did so much to you doesn't contradict with disliking your parents for the type of character they represent. Figured it out long ago and my relationship with parents suddenly lost 50% of tension.
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18845 Posts
July 09 2013 20:42 GMT
#31
On July 10 2013 05:39 wingpawn wrote:
You aren't negative; you're just realistic amongst unreasonably positive. Welcome to The Land of Depression where everyone around you is seeing the world through their optimistic delusions and you are one of the few who was really interested in the reality regardless of it's saddening shape. Don't panic - just embrace it without overthinking, because as long as you stay objective on the facts, it will be you who will end up being right.

And the fact that you love your parents as people who did so much to you doesn't contradict with disliking your parents for the type of character they represent. Figured it out long ago and my relationship with parents suddenly lost 50% of tension.

This is utter nonsense and borders on solipsistic self-importance of the worst kind. There is nothing special about your perspective on reality; it is just as arbitrary as everyone else's.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
July 09 2013 20:47 GMT
#32
On July 10 2013 05:42 farvacola wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 05:39 wingpawn wrote:
You aren't negative; you're just realistic amongst unreasonably positive. Welcome to The Land of Depression where everyone around you is seeing the world through their optimistic delusions and you are one of the few who was really interested in the reality regardless of it's saddening shape. Don't panic - just embrace it without overthinking, because as long as you stay objective on the facts, it will be you who will end up being right.

And the fact that you love your parents as people who did so much to you doesn't contradict with disliking your parents for the type of character they represent. Figured it out long ago and my relationship with parents suddenly lost 50% of tension.

This is utter nonsense and borders on solipsistic self-importance of the worst kind. There is nothing special about your perspective on reality; it is just as arbitrary as everyone else's.

Lol yeah he might as well have said: "no one understands me caues im so deep, im the only one that has a realistic view."
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
wingpawn
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Poland1342 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 21:09:05
July 09 2013 21:07 GMT
#33
On July 10 2013 05:42 farvacola wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 05:39 wingpawn wrote:
You aren't negative; you're just realistic amongst unreasonably positive. Welcome to The Land of Depression where everyone around you is seeing the world through their optimistic delusions and you are one of the few who was really interested in the reality regardless of it's saddening shape. Don't panic - just embrace it without overthinking, because as long as you stay objective on the facts, it will be you who will end up being right.

And the fact that you love your parents as people who did so much to you doesn't contradict with disliking your parents for the type of character they represent. Figured it out long ago and my relationship with parents suddenly lost 50% of tension.

This is utter nonsense and borders on solipsistic self-importance of the worst kind. There is nothing special about your perspective on reality; it is just as arbitrary as everyone else's.

Where did I claim there is anything special about it? Everyone can have that perspective if he wanted to but not many people do. It's not special - just rare and makes life little more difficult. On the other hand, it's nothing that one couldn't handle.

But you're almost saying that no reality external to a person really exists? Man, that is THE REAL solipsism.

Besides: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism
farvacola
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States18845 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 21:23:28
July 09 2013 21:16 GMT
#34
On July 10 2013 06:07 wingpawn wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 05:42 farvacola wrote:
On July 10 2013 05:39 wingpawn wrote:
You aren't negative; you're just realistic amongst unreasonably positive. Welcome to The Land of Depression where everyone around you is seeing the world through their optimistic delusions and you are one of the few who was really interested in the reality regardless of it's saddening shape. Don't panic - just embrace it without overthinking, because as long as you stay objective on the facts, it will be you who will end up being right.

And the fact that you love your parents as people who did so much to you doesn't contradict with disliking your parents for the type of character they represent. Figured it out long ago and my relationship with parents suddenly lost 50% of tension.

This is utter nonsense and borders on solipsistic self-importance of the worst kind. There is nothing special about your perspective on reality; it is just as arbitrary as everyone else's.

Where did I claim there is anything special about it? Everyone can have that perspective if he wanted to but not many people do. It's not special - just rare and makes life little more difficult. On the other hand, it's nothing that one couldn't handle.

But you're almost saying that no reality external to a person really exists? Man, that is THE REAL solipsism.

Besides: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depressive_realism

You seem to misunderstand the definition of special, so allow me to help you out. Special has it's roots in the latin term specialis, which means individual or particular. You are suggesting that a select few (or rare) individuals are privy to a particular view of the world that is "more real" than those held by others, and that it is necessarily a depressing perspective. This is not true, by any stretch of the imagination, and to suggest otherwise is to subordinate the views of anyone who disagrees with you.
"when the Dead Kennedys found out they had skinhead fans, they literally wrote a song titled 'Nazi Punks Fuck Off'"
Kleinmuuhg
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Vanuatu4091 Posts
July 09 2013 21:21 GMT
#35
plus you are motivating him to be a depressed realist? sound advice.
This is our town, scrub
Stratos_speAr
Profile Joined May 2009
United States6959 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 21:31:29
July 09 2013 21:26 GMT
#36
On July 10 2013 02:35 Race is Terran wrote:
Well thisi has given me things to think about, such as it is an opportunity to go someplaces for free all paid expenses.

I still am not sure about the spending time with my family part though, in the past, it has been a difficult issue that I've had to suck up and do. It doesn't feel like "family", it feels more like being obligated to do certain things for them because they put me into this world

edit: My parents and I although we believe in unconditional love, they tend to rope tiny little conditions to it, like the smallprint in a contract that you just kinda gloss over and then realize the stuff in small print was actually a very important condition of the agreement


Dude, I'm sorry, but you sound like an incredibly spoiled brat and an entitled prick. You have yet to offer one solid reason as to why you don't like to spend time with your parents.

Your parents give you fantastic vacations and all you can say is that your time is more valuable. You really need to evaluate yourself. Is there a legitimate reason that you don't like to spend time with the folks? Do they argue a lot? Are they total buzz-kills? Are they horrible people? Have they completely let you down or wronged you in multiple ways in the past so that you don't trust/like them anymore? If it's merely a matter of being kind of bored on your trips, then engage them. You're a fucking adult. Talk to them and say, "Hey, X sounds kind of boring, and I don't want us to sit in a hotel for a large chunk of our trip being bored. Let's find another thing to do while we're there." Your parents are reaching out to you by offering you fantastic things.

By the sound of it, you had a fairly privileged life (correct me if I'm wrong), and you may still be living with them. And yet you merely feel like it's a chore to do anything with them. That is the definition of "entitled" and "spoiled". This "obligation" you feel is merely a consequence of your own attitude and outlook, and it sounds like your parents were 100% right; you do have a negative attitude. You need to be assertive in fixing that attitude so you can start enjoying time with your parents, and if you can't do that because you "Just don't like them" for no particularly compelling reason, then I'm sorry, but you're just a terrible person.
A sound mind in a sound body, is a short, but full description of a happy state in this World: he that has these two, has little more to wish for; and he that wants either of them, will be little the better for anything else.
wingpawn
Profile Blog Joined June 2013
Poland1342 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 21:59:09
July 09 2013 21:57 GMT
#37
On July 10 2013 06:16 farvacola wrote:
You are suggesting that a select few (or rare) individuals are privy to a particular view of the world that is "more real" than those held by others, and that it is necessarily a depressing perspective.

Bolded part: yes, I'm suggesting it because it's true - some people are indeed more delusional than others.

Non-bolded part: no, you're missing my point. The reason realism is depressive is not within the realism itself; it within countless other people who are absurdly optimistic, then get beaten down by the real course of events only to remain optimistic or even gain more optimism. This is nothing to be envied, because it's plainly stupid. Especially when the difference between their perception of reality and the reality itself causes any sort of damage on other people.

The depressive realism perspective isn't necessarily true... until the chain of events proves it true. I agree that sometimes reality might proved it false, though I will still argue than most of the times, grain-of-salt realism will end up being more accurate.

PS. Sorry @Race is Terran for derailing your blog a bit. I'm going offline now.
brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9636 Posts
July 09 2013 23:25 GMT
#38
On July 10 2013 06:26 Stratos_speAr wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 02:35 Race is Terran wrote:
Well thisi has given me things to think about, such as it is an opportunity to go someplaces for free all paid expenses.

I still am not sure about the spending time with my family part though, in the past, it has been a difficult issue that I've had to suck up and do. It doesn't feel like "family", it feels more like being obligated to do certain things for them because they put me into this world

edit: My parents and I although we believe in unconditional love, they tend to rope tiny little conditions to it, like the smallprint in a contract that you just kinda gloss over and then realize the stuff in small print was actually a very important condition of the agreement


Dude, I'm sorry, but you sound like an incredibly spoiled brat and an entitled prick. You have yet to offer one solid reason as to why you don't like to spend time with your parents.

Your parents give you fantastic vacations and all you can say is that your time is more valuable. You really need to evaluate yourself. Is there a legitimate reason that you don't like to spend time with the folks? Do they argue a lot? Are they total buzz-kills? Are they horrible people? Have they completely let you down or wronged you in multiple ways in the past so that you don't trust/like them anymore? If it's merely a matter of being kind of bored on your trips, then engage them. You're a fucking adult. Talk to them and say, "Hey, X sounds kind of boring, and I don't want us to sit in a hotel for a large chunk of our trip being bored. Let's find another thing to do while we're there." Your parents are reaching out to you by offering you fantastic things.

By the sound of it, you had a fairly privileged life (correct me if I'm wrong), and you may still be living with them. And yet you merely feel like it's a chore to do anything with them. That is the definition of "entitled" and "spoiled". This "obligation" you feel is merely a consequence of your own attitude and outlook, and it sounds like your parents were 100% right; you do have a negative attitude. You need to be assertive in fixing that attitude so you can start enjoying time with your parents, and if you can't do that because you "Just don't like them" for no particularly compelling reason, then I'm sorry, but you're just a terrible person.


For someone who admittedly doesn't have a clue, you're awfully fucking rude.

brian
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
United States9636 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-09 23:31:46
July 09 2013 23:27 GMT
#39
Just picking on you because you were the last of at least three posters to say "You're a spoiled fucking brat.. blah blah blah.. you haven't said why.." going on to assume things he hasn't said.

Oh hey look the edit button. Woops. In any case, what you know is the kid doesn't like hanging out with his parents. He feels an obligation towards them for certain things. Hey, I feel obligated to do shit with my parents too. That's why I moved half way across the country.
MichaelDonovan
Profile Joined June 2011
United States1453 Posts
July 10 2013 00:33 GMT
#40
First world problems.
DrTJEckleburg
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States1080 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-10 00:51:12
July 10 2013 00:50 GMT
#41
I had a sarcastic remark typed out but thought better of it and decided to go with genuine advice.

My suggestion is to go on the trip even if you don't want to; not to have fun but to be with your parents. I also do not enjoy going on trips with my parents since we're different types of people but I have gone on a few in the past few years(I'm 24.)

Reason being is you never know when something tragic could happen, my parents are 60 so anything is possible(my mom has cancer in remission and my dad has heart problems.) I was more than happy to hike in the glorious Sequoia mountains of California with my lovely parents even though it messed up those oh so precious plans I had(not even remotely important.)
Im pretty good at whistling with my hands, especially when Im holding a whistle.
MountainDewJunkie
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
United States10344 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-10 00:51:23
July 10 2013 00:51 GMT
#42
Family vacations can suck, but as a working adult allow me to advise you to enjoy them while you can D:
[21:07] <Shock710> whats wrong with her face [20:50] <dAPhREAk> i beat it the day after it came out | <BLinD-RawR> esports is a giant vagina
SnipedSoul
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada2158 Posts
July 10 2013 01:33 GMT
#43
Vacations suck. Stay home and use your grocery money on weed, imo.
opsayo
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
591 Posts
July 10 2013 02:40 GMT
#44
god bless the 19 year old kids who have so much wisdom to impart on their parents
docvoc
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
United States5491 Posts
July 10 2013 03:04 GMT
#45
So yeah, all I'm hearing is that there is work to be done on your attitude dude. The problem is with you, not with them. I feel like the only way you're gonna learn it to, is if you lose all the things you take for granted, or at least some of them. Tough love might hurt, but in this case, I think it's the answer.
User was warned for too many mimes.
Race is Terran
Profile Blog Joined May 2013
United States382 Posts
July 10 2013 03:41 GMT
#46
On July 10 2013 04:47 Race is Terran wrote:
I think I will go, this blog was helpful to see things differently

i think that most people who keep posting replies aren't really reading the whole thread...so I am just re-quoting this I said in a previous page, I already made up my mind and told my parents I would go
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25557 Posts
Last Edited: 2013-07-10 04:18:14
July 10 2013 04:16 GMT
#47
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.


If I weren't broke you'd have TL+

On July 10 2013 08:25 Gene wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 06:26 Stratos_speAr wrote:
On July 10 2013 02:35 Race is Terran wrote:
Well thisi has given me things to think about, such as it is an opportunity to go someplaces for free all paid expenses.

I still am not sure about the spending time with my family part though, in the past, it has been a difficult issue that I've had to suck up and do. It doesn't feel like "family", it feels more like being obligated to do certain things for them because they put me into this world

edit: My parents and I although we believe in unconditional love, they tend to rope tiny little conditions to it, like the smallprint in a contract that you just kinda gloss over and then realize the stuff in small print was actually a very important condition of the agreement


Dude, I'm sorry, but you sound like an incredibly spoiled brat and an entitled prick. You have yet to offer one solid reason as to why you don't like to spend time with your parents.

Your parents give you fantastic vacations and all you can say is that your time is more valuable. You really need to evaluate yourself. Is there a legitimate reason that you don't like to spend time with the folks? Do they argue a lot? Are they total buzz-kills? Are they horrible people? Have they completely let you down or wronged you in multiple ways in the past so that you don't trust/like them anymore? If it's merely a matter of being kind of bored on your trips, then engage them. You're a fucking adult. Talk to them and say, "Hey, X sounds kind of boring, and I don't want us to sit in a hotel for a large chunk of our trip being bored. Let's find another thing to do while we're there." Your parents are reaching out to you by offering you fantastic things.

By the sound of it, you had a fairly privileged life (correct me if I'm wrong), and you may still be living with them. And yet you merely feel like it's a chore to do anything with them. That is the definition of "entitled" and "spoiled". This "obligation" you feel is merely a consequence of your own attitude and outlook, and it sounds like your parents were 100% right; you do have a negative attitude. You need to be assertive in fixing that attitude so you can start enjoying time with your parents, and if you can't do that because you "Just don't like them" for no particularly compelling reason, then I'm sorry, but you're just a terrible person.


For someone who admittedly doesn't have a clue, you're awfully fucking rude.



what stratos doesn't get is that not all people are vulcans and sometimes yes you have a negative emotion associated with something even if you don't want to have it

WHO KNEW
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
July 10 2013 04:36 GMT
#48
On July 10 2013 01:26 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 01:20 Race is Terran wrote:
On July 10 2013 01:07 HaRuHi wrote:
19? Ok, that is old enough to talk to your parents. They might even understand. Just say you rather would do X. Maybe surf holiday in Hawaii with them. But sitting in a boring hotel room is just not relaxing for you and if you can't find some active holiday, maybe they should just go without you.

Men or Women the fuck up!

It's time, your 19, spread your wings, leave the nest, fly.

edit: oh
it was in the past when I was younger, but now I am just simply saying no I don't want to go. I just don't want to tell them that the reason i dont want to go is because of them


so it was your name, why the hell are you crying if you managed to say no?^^

I just feel bad, it's not my parents fault they turned out the way they behave, and they love and support me. But their love can kind of be too much sometimes if that makes sense and I just feel bad for them.

If I was a parent, I think it would make me pretty sad if my oldest kid told me he didnt want to go on a vacation with me because of me


You sound incredibly self-entitled. If I were your parent, I'd leave you at home... but not because you're bored; because it doesn't sound like you value what your parents are offering you.

I'd recommend leaving the house, living on your own, and saving up for your own vacations. lol.


Go to the store and pick up some empathy while you're there. He just wants to vent about his parents, which I think everyone needs to do at some point. It's not like he's saying "My parents won't help me pay for a car, they suck balls", because that would be self-entitled.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
Bunn
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Estonia934 Posts
July 10 2013 08:22 GMT
#49
I feel you bro. It sucks when you've been raised that way since early childhood. You want to say no, but they will rub it under your nose why you can't do this or that, or why you have to do one thing or another. It's like they can't let go. And if you're thinking of saying 'no', you won't know how, because you're afraid of angering them, due to 'owning' them everything. It feels like having a mental disorder or something along those lines.

Despite that, I think you should go on the vacation, as you'll definitely regret not going later in your life. Some people won't ever be able to leave their hometown, so you're lucky in that sense. If you're on that vacation, you shouldn't just hang around your parents. Go stroll by yourself around the area and find stuff to do. If you're always around your parents, there's no chance that you'll enjoy those kinds of trips, due to age differences and what have you.
"There are no limits. There are plateaus, but you must not stay there, you must go beyond them. If it kills you, it kills you. A man must constantly exceed his level." - Bruce Lee
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45221 Posts
July 10 2013 16:02 GMT
#50
On July 10 2013 13:16 Blazinghand wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 10 2013 00:48 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
You didn't explain at all why you're whining and have a generally negative attitude.

EDIT: Never mind, I read your name.


If I weren't broke you'd have TL+


I'm fortunate enough to currently have TL+, but it'll expire soon x.x I need to re-subscribe
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Aerisky
Profile Blog Joined May 2012
United States12129 Posts
July 10 2013 17:08 GMT
#51
Guys he's already posted in here about trying to change his attitude and what have you. Takes a big man to do that too, good shit.
Jim while Johnny had had had had had had had; had had had had the better effect on the teacher.
LaNague
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Germany9118 Posts
July 10 2013 18:05 GMT
#52
I think its pretty normal at some point to not want to go on vacation with the parents, even if it is free.

I was the same when i was like 16. After i endured year after year of vacations where we just walk around all day, i finally said i didnt want to go.
So instead they let me go to a youth vacation where we traveled like 48 hours by bus and ship to greece, where there was a giant tent camp for us. Like 1000 or more people.

It was so much fun, i did that 4 more times, i had the best time ever.
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