When she said drop it, just drop it. Don't make it any worse than it is, even if you feel like she didn't understand what you were trying to explain, and she probably still has that on her mind. The guy that said "don't apologize unless you mean it" is good advice don't apologize just because you feel obligated too, I think that's stupid. You should only apologize if it's genuine.

opsayo

591 Posts

November 03 2010 07:34 GMT

#44

you're trying to say "hey its not a big deal, and here's why" only reinforces the idea that it must have been a big deal

and the fact that she wanted you to drop it and you kept KEPT bringing it up - and even now you're asking for advice on how you can talk to her about it AGAIN

you need to just move on she isn't a child, she will move on too

Turbovolver

Australia2346 Posts

November 03 2010 07:40 GMT

#45

Here's the thing, dude. You say you are an idiot when it comes to women. Well, I gotta say... judging from the OP, you're right!

But, are you an idiot when it comes to men, too? If a male friend misunderstood something and got pissy at you, would you have done any of this?

It turns out, treating women the exact same way you would treat men would be like infinitely better than what most "I suck at women" people do. Seriously. People are people, and you are instead throwing out that baseline and deciding that you are in a whole new world with all new social rules that you cannot and will never understand. Why?

Azzur

Australia6250 Posts

November 03 2010 07:45 GMT

#46

Yeah, the posters here have good advice. Apologize once and once only. However, you made the mistake of pushing the issue even further (and the picture only made it worse). So, don't compound it even more by bringing it up ever again.

Don't worry, everyone makes mistakes. However, you're an idiot if you made the same mistake over and over again.

zOula...

United States898 Posts

November 03 2010 08:01 GMT

#47

should have just played it off like that's what you actually said imo. hehe, she might have gotten mad, but it would have been funny... then you could have been like jeez it was just a joke.. and she would feel silly. but anyway, you should stop bringing it up and def. stop sending her messages and dont change your facebook status jesus man!

Rekrul

Korea (South)17174 Posts

November 03 2010 08:05 GMT

#48

men making big deals out of nothing (or reacting like they care when women make big deals out of nothing) is a huge turn-off to women

ooni

Australia1498 Posts

November 03 2010 08:10 GMT

#49

Well there is an obvious reason why she was creeped out.
+ Show Spoiler +

In all seriousness, this is what happened... (In 5 steps)
1. She thought it was funny
2. She showed it to someone
3. That someone thought that you were creepy
4. She started think you were creepy
5. She thinks you are creepy

Quite logical really.

NobleDog

United States65 Posts

November 03 2010 09:07 GMT

#50

It's a lot of upset over trivialities, I think. People need to get over themselves at times.

Punching you wasn't cool though. It's wrong on a few levels, and if she felt demeaning was wrong she definitely shouldn't be punching people, much less her friends.

Maybe she should apologize.

Chocobo

United States1108 Posts

November 03 2010 09:10 GMT

#51

DROP IT AND MOVE ON.

the more you talk about it, the worse it gets. you should have stopped after the quick post-hit explanation.

making the photo crossed the line into creepy-land. if you ever mention this again she will get seriously weirded out.

changing your facebook status is the worst idea ever, good lord.

here's some advice to figure out what to do in situations like this.. think of what some popular ladies man type of guy would do. would the quarterback of the football team apologize repeatedly and make a photo of him with boobs on it? no. would a rich and powerful business man change his facebook status to "I'm weird and creepy" as some sort of embarrassed apology? hell no.

luKrek

Sweden15 Posts

November 03 2010 10:40 GMT

#52

Tell her straight up that she would look good after a photoshop-session that added paper bags.
If she's not retarded she'll think it's funny, if she is retarded then why bother?

CharlieMurphy

United States22895 Posts

November 03 2010 11:30 GMT

#53

dude you are way overanalyzing this and following through on it, you already explained what you meant and she didn't understand the humor and then you apologized. You keep bringing it up and she is probably just annoyed. Then you try another joke on the same subject that didnt work in the first place (photoshop) and she thinks your creepy because you spent even more time on this subject that sucks and taking pictures and shit.

Just drop it and don't ever bring it up again and pretend it didn't happen. Get sc2 so we can play BB

Firereaver

India1701 Posts

November 03 2010 12:36 GMT

#54

Ah! Immaturity. Don't worry this will be a learning episode for you...

OpticalShot

Canada6330 Posts

November 03 2010 13:01 GMT

#55

On November 03 2010 17:05 Rekrul wrote:
men making big deals out of nothing (or reacting like they care when women make big deals out of nothing) is a huge turn-off to women

He speaks the truth.
I've heard of this from all my friends too. Gotta stay cool calm and collected most of the time.

flag

United States228 Posts

November 03 2010 13:09 GMT

#56

I have read everyones analysis. Overall it is very good for explaining my mistake. I think you guys nailed it by explaining that by continuing to explain it away it made her think the original joke was even more serious.

Not so much advice on what to now, besides drop it or be sincere. Actually before going through all the posts I wrote up a fairly long letter that is very sincere. I basically say what everyone here would say not to do. I explain that I like her and that is why I act so stupid. (I also address another mistake that I did not describe in the OP post, which was that to try to show that I like her I would make inappropriate jokes and they got to be too much).

My dilemma now though is do I send it now (while she might be busy at work) or wait until I think she would have time to sit down and really read it?

Also Charlie, sorry I don't really play SC any more, but even if I did, I would suck now...

QuanticHawk

United States32026 Posts

November 03 2010 13:23 GMT

#57

Dress in drag with huge knockers... visual jokes work a lot better dude. Surprise her at work or at the bar with friends

CharlieMurphy

United States22895 Posts

November 03 2010 14:17 GMT

#58

I wouldn't even send the letter unless she brings it up again or seems to be avoiding you or something. Dropping it is the best thing to do. What Rek said makes a lot of sense.
Telling her you act stupid when trying to be cool is, stupid. don't do that.
This isn't a fairy tale TV show where the clumsy guy gets the beautiful girl by fucking up everything then confessing his love and admitting his retardedness because of his love for her.

Velr

Switzerland10565 Posts

November 03 2010 14:32 GMT

#59

Just say her that you still would miss a Vagina...

Happy.fairytail

United States327 Posts

November 03 2010 14:52 GMT

#60

On November 03 2010 22:09 flag wrote:
I have read everyones analysis. Overall it is very good for explaining my mistake. I think you guys nailed it by explaining that by continuing to explain it away it made her think the original joke was even more serious.

Not so much advice on what to now, besides drop it or be sincere. Actually before going through all the posts I wrote up a fairly long letter that is very sincere. I basically say what everyone here would say not to do. I explain that I like her and that is why I act so stupid. (I also address another mistake that I did not describe in the OP post, which was that to try to show that I like her I would make inappropriate jokes and they got to be too much).

My dilemma now though is do I send it now (while she might be busy at work) or wait until I think she would have time to sit down and really read it?

Also Charlie, sorry I don't really play SC any more, but even if I did, I would suck now...

Nooooooo nonono don't send the letter. Just DROP IT holy crap man.

And if you're gonna tell a girl you like her, do it in a nice setting. Like after dinner, after hanging out, take her to a nice viewpoint nearby, prepare something classy, anything. Not by a letter, e-mail, text, facebook, or anything like that.