|
Edit: resolved, update below
Ok after that last message 2 days ago, I didn't send the letter. Instead, I used inspection while feeling like shit the whole day. I came to some realizations. I haven't checked this thread until now, but when I did I was very impressed by some of the analysis, it coincided with my own.
On November 03 2010 17:05 Rekrul wrote:
men making big deals out of nothing (or reacting like they care when women make big deals out of nothing) is a huge turn-off to women
On November 03 2010 23:17 CharlieMurphy wrote:
I wouldn't even send the letter unless she brings it up again or seems to be avoiding you or something. Dropping it is the best thing to do. What Rek said makes a lot of sense.
Telling her you act stupid when trying to be cool is, stupid. don't do that.
This isn't a fairy tale TV show where the clumsy guy gets the beautiful girl by fucking up everything then confessing his love and admitting his retardedness because of his love for her.
On November 03 2010 23:52 Happy.fairytail wrote:Show nested quote +On November 03 2010 22:09 flag wrote:
I have read everyones analysis. Overall it is very good for explaining my mistake. I think you guys nailed it by explaining that by continuing to explain it away it made her think the original joke was even more serious.
Not so much advice on what to now, besides drop it or be sincere. Actually before going through all the posts I wrote up a fairly long letter that is very sincere. I basically say what everyone here would say not to do. I explain that I like her and that is why I act so stupid. (I also address another mistake that I did not describe in the OP post, which was that to try to show that I like her I would make inappropriate jokes and they got to be too much).
My dilemma now though is do I send it now (while she might be busy at work) or wait until I think she would have time to sit down and really read it?
Also Charlie, sorry I don't really play SC any more, but even if I did, I would suck now... Nooooooo nonono don't send the letter. Just DROP IT holy crap man. And if you're gonna tell a girl you like her, do it in a nice setting. Like after dinner, after hanging out, take her to a nice viewpoint nearby, prepare something classy, anything. Not by a letter, e-mail, text, facebook, or anything like that.
(other post that rang true that I had to omit for brevity).
I realized that I need to just chill out and let it be what it is. Asking for advice on the forum was another stupid thing to do. Subconsciously I wanted to be punished for my stupid actions, and I think deep down I wanted her to discover this blog and that it would make it all better. The first is pointless, and the second is unlikely and would probably be a bad thing anyways.
Also like advised, it would have been bad to send that letter (especially while she still might be creeped out). If it ever comes up again I will talk about it honestly, but not with hopes of getting with her. We are back on good standing, but my chances are probably near 0, and I'm cool with that.
Lessons learned:
Chill the fuck out
Don't say anything major except in person
Don't seek advice from a forum (any action that you take that is not yours cannot work).
To those that gave good advice and those that insulted me, thank you very much for your help.
  
|
Well when she says drop it, she probably doesn't want to talk about it.
I think you should just apologize for going that far, she should forgive you. It usually works for me if you didn't mean to upset them.
|
well, women can't comprehend men's fascination with boobs.
i think you should have just tried to explain that to her, instead of explaining that you meant your face
|
Thanks, I have already apologized, without any more excuses/explanations.
I know it makes sense to have just dropped it originally, but how can you let someone think you meant such a horrible thing about them?
|
thats pretty creepy dude.
your kinda like that dude from silence of the lambs that makes women suits from their skin and dances in womens underwear but with photoshop.
|
Explain the misunderstanding and apologise, but only once.
Your biggest mistake imo was to keep bringing it up and trying to apologise.
This makes you come across as insecure and needy, and she would naturally pull away from you if you act like that.
To be honest, not apologising at all would have been better. Chicks love dudes who make fun of them sometimes, even if they don't admit it.
|
Gonna give you some legit tips mang.
1. Don't apologize unless you actually did something wrong
2. Don't attempt jokes anymore, learn to juggle or magic tricks
3. Don't apologize over facebook (this isn't necessary if you follow tip #1)
4. Only be friends with women that are your relatives or ugly chicks that can hook you up with their friends
|
On November 03 2010 13:59 Coagulation wrote:
thats pretty creepy dude.
your kinda like that dude from silence of the lambs that makes women suits from their skin and dances in womens underwear but with photoshop.
thanks, but i dont photoshop women (except this time)
|
Yeah you went way too far. Just apologize for overreacting but you really didn't want her to misinterpret it because that's not what you meant. NOTHING MORE, no long drawn out explanations, just like, one line.
The more you apologized for it the weirder it seems and like... yeah. xP
Good luck with things, if all goes well it could be something you guys can laugh about down the line, rather than the thing that just breaks everything. I mean, it's better to have a man who over-apologizes and you have to smack him on the head a couple times to be like, stop over-apologizing (and he'll apologize again for over-apologizing right after xP) than to have a guy that always thinks he's right. So really, you can't have screwed up that much right? =P
|
She said that she didn't find boobs activeness yet you have to use one of those sexy boobs (according to men at least).
I think you probably screwed up the photoshop. Putting her face in it is an insult to her...
Instead you should write another message saying that you thought more it and kind of understand what she meant when she said those who have boobs don't find them attractive. Don't do another photoshop too. She don't think it is a joke.
|
On November 03 2010 13:59 Coagulation wrote:
thats pretty creepy dude.
your kinda like that dude from silence of the lambs that makes women suits from their skin and dances in womens underwear but with photoshop.
Being creepy with photoshop is Coag's territory. Back off bro.
|
On November 03 2010 14:01 Korynne wrote:
Yeah you went way too far. Just apologize for overreacting but you really didn't want her to misinterpret it because that's not what you meant. NOTHING MORE, no long drawn out explanations, just like, one line.
The more you apologized for it the weirder it seems and like... yeah. xP
Good luck with things, if all goes well it could be something you guys can laugh about down the line, rather than the thing that just breaks everything. I mean, it's better to have a man who over-apologizes and you have to smack him on the head a couple times to be like, stop over-apologizing (and he'll apologize again for over-apologizing right after xP) than to have a guy that always thinks he's right. So really, you can't have screwed up that much right? =P
This is good analysis, but what should I do now? I'm thinking leave her alone until she talks to me? Is this right?
|
You know what maybe shes just slow to get the joke
I highly recommend photoshopping her face and tits on other stuff to get her to understand.
perhaps a komodo dragon
or the statue of liberty
maybe do a whole litter of kittens
this should clear up any confusion and she will totally laugh at how witty you are!
whatever you do dont stop bringing it up untill you feel it has been resolved to a satisfactory level.
good luck bro.
|
Don't apologise, just tease, be playful and laugh it off. Go over the top, make the joke ridiculous, just say something like you'd be much prettier without a head  You've lost as soon as you admit it was an insult by being such a wuss. You just come off as really insecure trying to explain it + the creepy photo.
|
I am insecure....
Would it be creepy to change my facebook status to "i am a strange creepy idiot" ?
|
Yeah just don't say any more about it. I mean not a fucking word, you have already dug this hole deep enough. Give her a few days/a week to cool off (I don't know how often you guys hang out) and then hang out with her again. Stay cool.
On November 03 2010 14:18 flag wrote:
I am insecure....
Would it be creepy to change my facebook status to "i am a strange creepy idiot" ?
...that would be about the stupidest thing you could do.
Women like a man who is secure in his own self-esteem and allowing her comment to so obviously influence you demonstrates to her that you are insecure. A real man doesn't give a flying fuck if a woman is offended because she misinterpreted something he said, because she is clearly in the wrong.
|
On November 03 2010 14:18 flag wrote:
I am insecure....
Would it be creepy to change my facebook status to "i am a strange creepy idiot" ?
Yes, don't do that.
|
I think also a mistake was that it is not effective to insult yourself in apology unless multiple other people can see this insult
|
what?
just drop it already, yeesh
tell her she's pretty
|
wait you would be attracted to your own boobs if you had them? I mean i'm attracted to girls asses but i don't look at mine in the mirror and pop a boner,
|
On November 03 2010 14:24 Foreplay wrote:
wait you would be attracted to your own boobs if you had them? I mean i'm attracted to girls asses but i don't look at mine in the mirror and pop a boner,
probably not, its a joke...
|
On November 03 2010 14:08 Coagulation wrote:
You know what maybe shes just slow to get the joke
I highly recommend photoshopping her face and tits on other stuff to get her to understand.
perhaps a komodo dragon
or the statue of liberty
maybe do a whole litter of kittens
this should clear up any confusion and she will totally laugh at how witty you are!
whatever you do dont stop bringing it up untill you feel it has been resolved to a satisfactory level.
good luck bro.
I have an even better idea, replace each breast with a picture of her face, and her face with a breast.
|
Canada11349 Posts
On November 03 2010 14:22 palanq wrote:
what?
just drop it already, yeesh
Pretty much this. You're just reminding her again and again of a conversation she didn't appreciate. Gotta know when to stop.
|
On November 03 2010 13:59 Coagulation wrote:
thats pretty creepy dude.
your kinda like that dude from silence of the lambs that makes women suits from their skin and dances in womens underwear but with photoshop.
This is possibly the best post ever. It's so beautifully crafted. The purposeful delay of the "but with photoshop" to the end of your sentence. Teach me your ways, oh great king of wit!
|
On November 03 2010 14:34 Gummy wrote:Show nested quote +On November 03 2010 13:59 Coagulation wrote:
thats pretty creepy dude.
your kinda like that dude from silence of the lambs that makes women suits from their skin and dances in womens underwear but with photoshop. This is possibly the best post ever. It's so beautifully crafted. The purposeful delay of the "but with photoshop" to the end of your sentence. Teach me your ways, oh great king of wit!
We need baller imo
|
Yeah just, shoulda dropped it right away. It was a slip of the tongue, who cares. By continuing with it, it sounds like you are trying to hide the truth when in actuality, you didn't mean that at all.
W.e man, learning experience, don't sweat it.
|
Just chill and pretend the event never happened. In fact, its her own fault for hitting you in the first place without understanding what you meant. A simple, "wtf, i wasn't talking about you,", would have solved it. But you had to go and apologize 20 times. Dont dig yourself a deeper hole.
To answer your original question, you messed up when you went "oh shit! i made her mad! ohshitohshitohshit how do i fix this" in your head the second she smacked you.
Like the other posters say, dont apologize when you didnt do anything wrong. My advice is dont get fixated on pleasing people. Don't be an asshole either, but you're better off being a bit of a dick than a doormat.
|
...Dude are you really that dumb, damn right thats creepy you just kept chasing the issue she didnt want to discuss better to just let her get over it herself. I mean honestly you've probably fucked your chances beyond belief. Nothing short of a hero 100 kill DT or something along those lines will save you now.
|
Hahahaha OP you are awesome. I wouldn't have had the creativity to do such a thing.
|
On November 03 2010 15:16 ieatkids5 wrote:
Hahahaha OP you are awesome. I wouldn't have had the creativity to do such a thing.
what cockblock yourself?
|
All you can do is move on.
The more that you attempt to apologize for it, the worse you will make the situation: a) because, like you already recognize, it makes you seem insecure and needy of approval and b) because you continue to bring her attention back to a subject with which she already feels very uncomfortable (for reasons that, hell, may not even be entirely related for you for all you know).
Creepy, near as I can tell, is the last thing you want to be to a girl who you're interested in. But you can't argue your way out of it. You can't just explain why you're actually not creepy. That's the sort of thing that a creeper does.
What you can do is act the opposite of creepy, i.e. confident, straightforward, sincere. Think about it like a giant scale. You've accidentally put one weight on the creepy side. That sucks but it happens. Let he who has not creeped cast the first stone. But all you can do now is make sure that the majority of your actions in the future go on the non-creepy side. Then, given a little time, a little patience, the scale will tip back in your favor.
So what's done is done. Cut your losses, move forward, and bank on the fact that your relationship to her is strong enough to survive a little misunderstanding like this. Bank on the fact that the longer she knows you, the better she'll recognize that you're just a guy (we all say hella awkward things from time to time) and not some major league creeper from the bowels of the internet. If you and her are going anywhere meaningful, you're going to have to be able to pass over these little speedbumps anyway.
Sorry my thoughts are a bit disorganized. It's late, and I have to get to sleep so that my wife doesn't think I'm creepin in here in the computer room. 
Good luck!
|
If a joke misses don't bring it up again and don't try and force her to get it. Picture was a bit too far me thinks.
|
She seems like an idiot, why would you even bother with her?
|
On November 03 2010 15:21 Coagulation wrote:Show nested quote +On November 03 2010 15:16 ieatkids5 wrote:
Hahahaha OP you are awesome. I wouldn't have had the creativity to do such a thing. what cockblock yourself?
cockblock yourself via not letting go of a joke by explaining it and making that hilarious picture
|
Yeah you were pretty creepy. Admit it and move on.
|
On November 03 2010 13:52 flag wrote:
What other stupid things did I do?
If you didn't think that a lot of the things you did were stupid at the time, then I'd guess that you're missing a lot of stupid things, and we won't be able to point them out because there is no way you could tell us everything you've ever done.....
Not to worry - most guys do stupid stuff all the time, and the only real difference between "creepy" and "cute" is the opinion the girl has of you at the time. You just got screwed because her opinion changed..... There's no real way of going back at this point..... And trying will likely land you into even bigger trouble.....
|
On November 03 2010 15:59 Impervious wrote:
the only real difference between "creepy" and "cute" is the opinion the girl has of you at the time
Two things.
1) Women don't want you to be cute.
2) There is no situation in which Photoshopping her head and some breasts onto your body is cute.
|
On November 03 2010 14:48 pokeyAA wrote:
Just chill and pretend the event never happened. In fact, its her own fault for hitting you in the first place without understanding what you meant. A simple, "wtf, i wasn't talking about you,", would have solved it. But you had to go and apologize 20 times. Dont dig yourself a deeper hole.
To answer your original question, you messed up when you went "oh shit! i made her mad! ohshitohshitohshit how do i fix this" in your head the second she smacked you.
Like the other posters say, dont apologize when you didnt do anything wrong. My advice is dont get fixated on pleasing people. Don't be an asshole either, but you're better off being a bit of a dick than a doormat.
I second this advice. Oh and never use photoshop, in fact take photoshop completely out of your life because apparently all it brings you is sorrow. You should've taken the punch and been like whatever. With your creepy handwringing apology you looked like a sniveling coward just trying to crawl your way into her graces.
To the guy who said don't be friends with girls unless they are relatives/ugly chicks? Yo bro, I had a 3some with my best friend and my wife, friends rock k? And in fact all my friends tend to be girls, cause I can't deal with men and their self inflating pandering ego/the testosterone and alpha male posturing bores the shit out of me. Its like ok kewl you're a bamf, ima go home and bang a chick now, you have fun with whatever this is k?
Ugh, but OP there's a fine line b/w a douchewater filled bamf and being confident. Honestly, here's a secret. Don't give a fuck! If you really could give a shit less about her or what she thinks, she'll flock to you like a moth to the flame. Say what you want without the least bit of care for the consequences. That's the best advice i can give you.
|
On November 03 2010 16:13 McDonalds wrote:Show nested quote +On November 03 2010 15:59 Impervious wrote:
the only real difference between "creepy" and "cute" is the opinion the girl has of you at the time Two things. 1) Women don't want you to be cute. 2) There is no situation in which Photoshopping her head and some breasts onto your body is cute.
1 - if you want to get laid, you don't want them to think you're "cute".
2 - yea, that's pretty stupid. Still, I think if the situation was right, it could work. Something like "oh, I wonder what our baby would look like", and you make the pic and say "well, obviously, she'd have your pretty face, you're fantastic boobs, and my ass, since you seem to enjoy squeezing it whenever we're doing it"..... I'm pretty sure that would come across as funny to her, but yea..... Still pretty dumb.....
|
On November 03 2010 14:01 flag wrote:Show nested quote +On November 03 2010 13:59 Coagulation wrote:
thats pretty creepy dude.
your kinda like that dude from silence of the lambs that makes women suits from their skin and dances in womens underwear but with photoshop. thanks, but i dont photoshop women (except this time)
as far as she knows, there is no "other time"
|
On November 03 2010 14:18 flag wrote:
I am insecure....
Would it be creepy to change my facebook status to "i am a strange creepy idiot" ?
HAHAHA that sounds like a great idea. That way you'll further endear yourself to her heart.
But no, please don't do that.
|
pro advice?
drop it
the more you hound about it the worse you make it
|
When she said drop it, just drop it. Don't make it any worse than it is, even if you feel like she didn't understand what you were trying to explain, and she probably still has that on her mind. The guy that said "don't apologize unless you mean it" is good advice don't apologize just because you feel obligated too, I think that's stupid. You should only apologize if it's genuine.
|
you're trying to say "hey its not a big deal, and here's why" only reinforces the idea that it must have been a big deal
and the fact that she wanted you to drop it and you kept KEPT bringing it up - and even now you're asking for advice on how you can talk to her about it AGAIN
you need to just move on she isn't a child, she will move on too
|
Here's the thing, dude. You say you are an idiot when it comes to women. Well, I gotta say... judging from the OP, you're right!
But, are you an idiot when it comes to men, too? If a male friend misunderstood something and got pissy at you, would you have done any of this?
It turns out, treating women the exact same way you would treat men would be like infinitely better than what most "I suck at women" people do. Seriously. People are people, and you are instead throwing out that baseline and deciding that you are in a whole new world with all new social rules that you cannot and will never understand. Why?
|
Yeah, the posters here have good advice. Apologize once and once only. However, you made the mistake of pushing the issue even further (and the picture only made it worse). So, don't compound it even more by bringing it up ever again.
Don't worry, everyone makes mistakes. However, you're an idiot if you made the same mistake over and over again.
|
should have just played it off like that's what you actually said imo. hehe, she might have gotten mad, but it would have been funny... then you could have been like jeez it was just a joke.. and she would feel silly. but anyway, you should stop bringing it up and def. stop sending her messages and dont change your facebook status jesus man!
|
Korea (South)17174 Posts
men making big deals out of nothing (or reacting like they care when women make big deals out of nothing) is a huge turn-off to women
|
Well there is an obvious reason why she was creeped out.
+ Show Spoiler +
In all seriousness, this is what happened... (In 5 steps)
1. She thought it was funny
2. She showed it to someone
3. That someone thought that you were creepy
4. She started think you were creepy
5. She thinks you are creepy
Quite logical really.
|
It's a lot of upset over trivialities, I think. People need to get over themselves at times.
Punching you wasn't cool though. It's wrong on a few levels, and if she felt demeaning was wrong she definitely shouldn't be punching people, much less her friends.
Maybe she should apologize.
|
DROP IT AND MOVE ON.
the more you talk about it, the worse it gets. you should have stopped after the quick post-hit explanation.
making the photo crossed the line into creepy-land. if you ever mention this again she will get seriously weirded out.
changing your facebook status is the worst idea ever, good lord.
here's some advice to figure out what to do in situations like this.. think of what some popular ladies man type of guy would do. would the quarterback of the football team apologize repeatedly and make a photo of him with boobs on it? no. would a rich and powerful business man change his facebook status to "I'm weird and creepy" as some sort of embarrassed apology? hell no.
|
Tell her straight up that she would look good after a photoshop-session that added paper bags.
If she's not retarded she'll think it's funny, if she is retarded then why bother?
|
dude you are way overanalyzing this and following through on it, you already explained what you meant and she didn't understand the humor and then you apologized. You keep bringing it up and she is probably just annoyed. Then you try another joke on the same subject that didnt work in the first place (photoshop) and she thinks your creepy because you spent even more time on this subject that sucks and taking pictures and shit.
Just drop it and don't ever bring it up again and pretend it didn't happen. Get sc2 so we can play BB
|
Ah! Immaturity. Don't worry this will be a learning episode for you...
|
On November 03 2010 17:05 Rekrul wrote:
men making big deals out of nothing (or reacting like they care when women make big deals out of nothing) is a huge turn-off to women
He speaks the truth.
I've heard of this from all my friends too. Gotta stay cool calm and collected most of the time.
|
I have read everyones analysis. Overall it is very good for explaining my mistake. I think you guys nailed it by explaining that by continuing to explain it away it made her think the original joke was even more serious.
Not so much advice on what to now, besides drop it or be sincere. Actually before going through all the posts I wrote up a fairly long letter that is very sincere. I basically say what everyone here would say not to do. I explain that I like her and that is why I act so stupid. (I also address another mistake that I did not describe in the OP post, which was that to try to show that I like her I would make inappropriate jokes and they got to be too much).
My dilemma now though is do I send it now (while she might be busy at work) or wait until I think she would have time to sit down and really read it?
Also Charlie, sorry I don't really play SC any more, but even if I did, I would suck now...
|
Dress in drag with huge knockers... visual jokes work a lot better dude. Surprise her at work or at the bar with friends
|
I wouldn't even send the letter unless she brings it up again or seems to be avoiding you or something. Dropping it is the best thing to do. What Rek said makes a lot of sense.
Telling her you act stupid when trying to be cool is, stupid. don't do that.
This isn't a fairy tale TV show where the clumsy guy gets the beautiful girl by fucking up everything then confessing his love and admitting his retardedness because of his love for her.
|
Just say her that you still would miss a Vagina...
|
On November 03 2010 22:09 flag wrote:
I have read everyones analysis. Overall it is very good for explaining my mistake. I think you guys nailed it by explaining that by continuing to explain it away it made her think the original joke was even more serious.
Not so much advice on what to now, besides drop it or be sincere. Actually before going through all the posts I wrote up a fairly long letter that is very sincere. I basically say what everyone here would say not to do. I explain that I like her and that is why I act so stupid. (I also address another mistake that I did not describe in the OP post, which was that to try to show that I like her I would make inappropriate jokes and they got to be too much).
My dilemma now though is do I send it now (while she might be busy at work) or wait until I think she would have time to sit down and really read it?
Also Charlie, sorry I don't really play SC any more, but even if I did, I would suck now...
Nooooooo nonono don't send the letter. Just DROP IT holy crap man.
And if you're gonna tell a girl you like her, do it in a nice setting. Like after dinner, after hanging out, take her to a nice viewpoint nearby, prepare something classy, anything. Not by a letter, e-mail, text, facebook, or anything like that.
|
wow, man. just wow. i think you got all the help you needed, so i'm just going to express my bafflement. anyway, just make sure you learn from this and stay cool next time. she doesn't really seem that great from what i read anyway, no big deal. you're never going to get with her now, i am 100% sure of this, so just remember what you did wrong and move on.
|
On November 03 2010 22:09 flag wrote:
I have read everyones analysis. Overall it is very good for explaining my mistake. I think you guys nailed it by explaining that by continuing to explain it away it made her think the original joke was even more serious.
Not so much advice on what to now, besides drop it or be sincere. Actually before going through all the posts I wrote up a fairly long letter that is very sincere. I basically say what everyone here would say not to do. I explain that I like her and that is why I act so stupid. (I also address another mistake that I did not describe in the OP post, which was that to try to show that I like her I would make inappropriate jokes and they got to be too much).
My dilemma now though is do I send it now (while she might be busy at work) or wait until I think she would have time to sit down and really read it?
Also Charlie, sorry I don't really play SC any more, but even if I did, I would suck now...
This is just my opinion, but dont think you should post that letter. At all.
And saying that you act stupid/do stupid jokes because you like her is not a good idea, been there done that failed there moved on. Actually unless she seems to like you acting stupid or making stupid jokes you should stop doing that aswell.
Ask her straight up to do something together just the two of you. Dont have to be something fancy, movie at your place. Dinner out. Anything, important part is just the two of you. If you know her only in a group enviroment (cant tell from OP) this is imo the first step to get it somewhere else.
If you are already here she is already interested in you or just sees you as a friend. If she is interested i you she is just waiting for you to take the first step. Take it.
If she just sees you as a friend, and you do hang out just the two of you, you have little to lose telling her you like her. Unless you do some epic drama-fail if she tells you she only sees you as a friend the friendship will survive, have yet to meet a girl who gets mad because you say you like her.
If you keep cool i dont think you have anything to lose, but eh... if this incident have been a big deal you might want to play it cool for a while before making a move. Drop the issue and try to move on as normal. If she brings it up or stops talking to you, have a talking with her but dont get super apolegetic, explain you did it as a joke and most importantly it was not a big deal for you and you feel sorry she takes this small joke as a major issue.
|
On November 04 2010 00:14 fredd wrote:
wow, man. just wow. i think you got all the help you needed, so i'm just going to express my bafflement. anyway, just make sure you learn from this and stay cool next time. she doesn't really seem that great from what i read anyway, no big deal. you're never going to get with her now, i am 100% sure of this, so just remember what you did wrong and move on.
Haha, actually, you have a good point. OP, maybe you should just post that letter. Because (1) you have no chance with her anyway, so you have nothing to lose, and (2) you learn best by personal experience, right?
Heh, I still cringe when I think about the ways I've asked out girls years ago. One girl's reaction still remains fresh in my mind to this day: "...what? ...NOooooOOO!!" LOL, oh god, yep, it still hurts to think about it.
|
Just take it in stride. Don't act like its a big deal and don't bring up the incident again.
In fact, the next time you make a joke that appears to insult some woman, just laugh it off and act like its no big deal. Don't be overly apologetic.
Most likely you've already blown it with this one. If you really are hung up on this chick (you really shouldn't be), your best bet is to somehow have her see you as the life of the party preferably with another girl hotter than she is. But then if you can pull that off, you wouldn't be so strung out by this girl anyways.
|
On November 03 2010 14:05 flag wrote:Show nested quote +On November 03 2010 14:01 Korynne wrote:
Yeah you went way too far. Just apologize for overreacting but you really didn't want her to misinterpret it because that's not what you meant. NOTHING MORE, no long drawn out explanations, just like, one line.
The more you apologized for it the weirder it seems and like... yeah. xP
Good luck with things, if all goes well it could be something you guys can laugh about down the line, rather than the thing that just breaks everything. I mean, it's better to have a man who over-apologizes and you have to smack him on the head a couple times to be like, stop over-apologizing (and he'll apologize again for over-apologizing right after xP) than to have a guy that always thinks he's right. So really, you can't have screwed up that much right? =P This is good analysis, but what should I do now? I'm thinking leave her alone until she talks to me? Is this right?
I know you're incapable of doing this, but here's what you should do:
Pretend the whole thing didn't happen, continue with life as normal, talk to her normally. I mean if she asks don't be like, what? are you crazy? I don't recall that ever happening. Just /act/ as if it didn't happen, rather than like, you know, literally wiping it away.
Be cool dude~
|
If she's this insecure about the look of her own face, you should maybe think twice about pursuing this further..
|
On November 04 2010 10:59 Thrill wrote:
If she's this insecure about the look of her own face, you should maybe think twice about pursuing this further..
Is this a joke? =/
I don't think the fact he put her face on that weird creepy picture is the problem here, somehow.
|
how in the world did you read this entire thread and decide that the best course of action was to write a really long letter to her about the situation
jesus christ bro
|
there is only 1 way 2 solve this, u must take a picture of her naked body and photoshop ur face and a penis onto it
only way imo
|
Canada11349 Posts
On November 03 2010 22:09 flag wrote:
I have read everyones analysis. Overall it is very good for explaining my mistake. I think you guys nailed it by explaining that by continuing to explain it away it made her think the original joke was even more serious.
Not so much advice on what to now, besides drop it or be sincere. Actually before going through all the posts I wrote up a fairly long letter that is very sincere.
That's the thing. There is nothing proactive you can do regarding that mistake. You said it. She didn't like it. You apologized. It's over. Be the friend you always were because that's all you really can do.
And for heavens sake, don't send that letter. You're just explaining yet again. Let her forget the whole thing because you're not letting her forget it at all. People say and do dumb stuff all the time so watch your tongue and actions in the future. But just let her forget about the entire thing already.
But right now all your associating yourself is being that guy that just talks about boobs or apologizes about talking about them.
lol at the above.
On November 03 2010 14:37 crazeman wrote:
We need baller imo
baller to the rescue. Totally would work.
|
OP, thanks for teaching me not to be creepy near girls.
|
LOL~~~!!!
But yeah, if she minds THAT much and your friendship/bedroom chances are hindered because of this, she probably wasn't worth it in the first place.
Unless she's fucking hot.
Then, you know, invite her over to your house, and another friend. You and your friend start drinking (without letting her know first, of course), playing drinking games, then invite her to join. She joins. She drinks. Your friend then leaves (of course, at your signal). She drove herself to your place, and she can't drive back home. So you offer your bed to her like a fucking gentleman and you sleep on the floor. If she's drunk enough... bingo! (whether this is intertwined with personal experience is up for you to decide)
|
This is like from a comedy movie.
|
hey guys she thinks i am creepy
i am gonna brood over it thinking about her for 2 weeks straight constantly talking to her and then in my free time write her a long in depth letter so that she doesn't think i am creepy anymore
|
Ok after that last message 2 days ago, I didn't send the letter. Instead of used inspection while feeling like shit the whole day. I came to some realizations. I haven't checked this thread until now, but when I did I was very impressed by some of the analysis, it coincided with my own.
On November 03 2010 17:05 Rekrul wrote:
men making big deals out of nothing (or reacting like they care when women make big deals out of nothing) is a huge turn-off to women
On November 03 2010 23:17 CharlieMurphy wrote:
I wouldn't even send the letter unless she brings it up again or seems to be avoiding you or something. Dropping it is the best thing to do. What Rek said makes a lot of sense.
Telling her you act stupid when trying to be cool is, stupid. don't do that.
This isn't a fairy tale TV show where the clumsy guy gets the beautiful girl by fucking up everything then confessing his love and admitting his retardedness because of his love for her.
On November 03 2010 23:52 Happy.fairytail wrote:Show nested quote +On November 03 2010 22:09 flag wrote:
I have read everyones analysis. Overall it is very good for explaining my mistake. I think you guys nailed it by explaining that by continuing to explain it away it made her think the original joke was even more serious.
Not so much advice on what to now, besides drop it or be sincere. Actually before going through all the posts I wrote up a fairly long letter that is very sincere. I basically say what everyone here would say not to do. I explain that I like her and that is why I act so stupid. (I also address another mistake that I did not describe in the OP post, which was that to try to show that I like her I would make inappropriate jokes and they got to be too much).
My dilemma now though is do I send it now (while she might be busy at work) or wait until I think she would have time to sit down and really read it?
Also Charlie, sorry I don't really play SC any more, but even if I did, I would suck now... Nooooooo nonono don't send the letter. Just DROP IT holy crap man. And if you're gonna tell a girl you like her, do it in a nice setting. Like after dinner, after hanging out, take her to a nice viewpoint nearby, prepare something classy, anything. Not by a letter, e-mail, text, facebook, or anything like that.
(other post that rang true that I had to omit for brevity).
I realized that I need to just chill out and let it be what it is. Asking for advice on the forum was another stupid thing to do. Subconsciously I wanted to be punished for my stupid actions, and I think deep down I wanted her to discover this blog and that it would make it all better. The first is pointless, and the second is unlikely and would probably be a bad thing anyways.
Also like advised, it would have been bad to send that letter (especially while she still might be creeped out). If it ever comes up again I will talk about it honestly, but not with hopes of getting with her. We are back on good standing, but my chances are probably near 0, and I'm cool with that.
Lessons learned:
Chill the fuck out
Don't say anything major except in person
Don't seek advice from a forum (any action that you take that is not yours cannot work).
To those that gave good advice and those that insulted me, thank you very much for your help.
|
Man, you're putting the pussy on the pedestal.
also, you are overanalyzing shit. This ain't a game of SC, social situations aren't as complex. There isn't some hidden tech, or ultimate game plan/playstyle. Just go with the flow.
If you really want to learn any of the simple shit that works in dating/pick up arts. Check out all those guidlines and tips and apply them to your game.
I think this a forum may be a place to start
http://www.pick-up-artist-forum.com/
|
Haha, true, but after all this analysis I pretty much agree with you (so the analysis did work somewhat).
|
Don't listen to CM, flag.
"Pick-up artists" are hands-down the lamest, smarmiest, most uncomprehending pseudomales in history. Case in point:
![[image loading]](http://puadventures.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/pick-up-artist.jpg)
|
sounds like you're desperate for the touch and affection of a woman. not the bad kind of desperate that is.
do you date regularly? if not, i think its time to start.
|
Good conclusion ^^ Great lessons to be learned.
|
glad to read the update and see that you've gained some sense  . good luck with the woman from here on out!
|
On November 05 2010 11:49 HULKAMANIA wrote:Don't listen to CM, flag. "Pick-up artists" are hands-down the lamest, smarmiest, most uncomprehending pseudomales in history. Case in point:
I'm not saying to emulate these guys 100% but there is no doubt that some (of the many many) tactics they use work surprisingly well. I read The Game and watched the PUA MTV show among other YT clips forum reads and this shit is for real.
For example, peacocking is pretty fucking gay and I won't wear a scarf or fuzzy hat to a bar but I understand the concept and I will tame it down or tailor it to my feelings of what looks gay (regardless if some/most females would be attracted)
|
It's an entire subculture elaborated around achieving the lowest common denominator of success with women: hooking up with some chick at a bar. And the amount of self-congratulation in that subculture is nauseating.
I'll agree with you that some of their tactics work, insofar as they trick the guy employing said tactics into acting like he has some bare minimum of confidence. But just being older than twenty-five and having disposable income will afford you the same end results but with more sustainability and less self-delusion.
I was really just warning ole flag off the PUAs because he strikes me as a dude fairly open to suggestion, and I didn't want to see him rolling up here talking about neurolinguistic programming or some such bullshit. It would be a sad scene for everybody.
|
On November 06 2010 06:10 CharlieMurphy wrote:Show nested quote +On November 05 2010 11:49 HULKAMANIA wrote:Don't listen to CM, flag. "Pick-up artists" are hands-down the lamest, smarmiest, most uncomprehending pseudomales in history. Case in point: I'm not saying to emulate these guys 100% but there is no doubt that some (of the many many) tactics they use work surprisingly well. I read The Game and watched the PUA MTV show among other YT clips forum reads and this shit is for real. For example, peacocking is pretty fucking gay and I won't wear a scarf or fuzzy hat to a bar but I understand the concept and I will tame it down or tailor it to my feelings of what looks gay (regardless if some/most females would be attracted)
Yeah actually one that get into this stuff must have the minimum brain functions to actually recognize what is good and what is wrong for him. Learning the general ideas about women and relationship is far more important than the tricks they use, the tricks are more of an helper here and there.
Because there is no doubt people mindset and teachings in this community do not apply to everybody, you must recognize what feels right for you.
I have seen many guys misunderstand the concepts and taking extreme examples to try to prove their point (both inside and outside this community, the first being like overly retarted copy cat and the second being absolutly neglectful of everything).
I think one can get great insights from some of their ideas but must proceed with caution, the purpose is to become more happy about your life not trying consecutives sentences on random chicks.
On the other hand :
But just being older than twenty-five and having disposable income will afford you the same end results but with more sustainability and less self-delusion.
Sooo... what ?! I think 40 years old virgins with respectable jobs will be happy to hear that they can get out now ! Also don't try anything in your early twenties or if you don't earn enough money 
|
I think this recent strip by QC sums it up pretty nicely:
+ Show Spoiler +
Except you probably won't get to touch her boobs.
|
At least you didn't ask this on 4chan forums so it could have been a lot worse ^^
My biggest advice would be to just not overanalyze stuff and be confident. Notice I said confident not a cocky dushbag.
Pickup-artist are good in what they do mostly because they are very confident. They just go and do their thing and they know they can get the girl.
I know in many films the shy awkward boy gets the most beautiful girl in the neighborhood and I'm not saying it's not possible but I have yet to see it in real life.
|
On November 06 2010 14:45 rezoacken wrote:Show nested quote +But just being older than twenty-five and having disposable income will afford you the same end results but with more sustainability and less self-delusion. Sooo... what ?! I think 40 years old virgins with respectable jobs will be happy to hear that they can get out now ! Also don't try anything in your early twenties or if you don't earn enough money
I don't really get what you're saying here so I'm at a disadvantage. My point was just that you'll better understand how to interact with women as you mature, or you'll at least better recognize that talking to some female at some bar is not difficult enough to warrant an entire retarded subculture of people trying to perfect how to do it.
But even if you don't understand what I'm saying now, that's fine.
You will when you're older.
|
On November 07 2010 13:45 HULKAMANIA wrote:Show nested quote +On November 06 2010 14:45 rezoacken wrote:But just being older than twenty-five and having disposable income will afford you the same end results but with more sustainability and less self-delusion. Sooo... what ?! I think 40 years old virgins with respectable jobs will be happy to hear that they can get out now ! Also don't try anything in your early twenties or if you don't earn enough money I don't really get what you're saying here so I'm at a disadvantage. My point was just that you'll better understand how to interact with women as you mature, or you'll at least better recognize that talking to some female at some bar is not difficult enough to warrant an entire retarded subculture of people trying to perfect how to do it. But even if you don't understand what I'm saying now, that's fine. You will when you're older.
No, I agree with that. But that is not what you were really saying in your previous message.
Though, maturity in this area doesn't come staying at home and therefore not with time but with experience and you need to get a good mindset to get positive experience (sure time is an implicit factor). This mindset can be learned or is natural to some.
Though, if by dispising the subculture you're referencing to the bad side of it (which is the connotation "p-u a" has gotten these last years, I don't blame you for it), I'm with you on saying this is not the good way.
|
On November 07 2010 14:29 rezoacken wrote:Show nested quote +On November 07 2010 13:45 HULKAMANIA wrote:On November 06 2010 14:45 rezoacken wrote:But just being older than twenty-five and having disposable income will afford you the same end results but with more sustainability and less self-delusion. Sooo... what ?! I think 40 years old virgins with respectable jobs will be happy to hear that they can get out now ! Also don't try anything in your early twenties or if you don't earn enough money I don't really get what you're saying here so I'm at a disadvantage. My point was just that you'll better understand how to interact with women as you mature, or you'll at least better recognize that talking to some female at some bar is not difficult enough to warrant an entire retarded subculture of people trying to perfect how to do it. But even if you don't understand what I'm saying now, that's fine. You will when you're older. No, I agree with that. But that is not what you were really saying in your previous message.
Oh it wasn't? Shit!
Well anyway I appreciate you clearing up for me what I was really saying. Keep up the good work. I'll see you around.
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT![[image loading]](http://img51.imageshack.us/img51/315/creepy.png)
![[image loading]](http://questionablecontent.net/comics/1774.png)
