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Edit: resolved, update below
Ok after that last message 2 days ago, I didn't send the letter. Instead, I used inspection while feeling like shit the whole day. I came to some realizations. I haven't checked this thread until now, but when I did I was very impressed by some of the analysis, it coincided with my own.
On November 03 2010 17:05 Rekrul wrote:
men making big deals out of nothing (or reacting like they care when women make big deals out of nothing) is a huge turn-off to women
On November 03 2010 23:17 CharlieMurphy wrote:
I wouldn't even send the letter unless she brings it up again or seems to be avoiding you or something. Dropping it is the best thing to do. What Rek said makes a lot of sense.
Telling her you act stupid when trying to be cool is, stupid. don't do that.
This isn't a fairy tale TV show where the clumsy guy gets the beautiful girl by fucking up everything then confessing his love and admitting his retardedness because of his love for her.
On November 03 2010 23:52 Happy.fairytail wrote:Show nested quote +On November 03 2010 22:09 flag wrote:
I have read everyones analysis. Overall it is very good for explaining my mistake. I think you guys nailed it by explaining that by continuing to explain it away it made her think the original joke was even more serious.
Not so much advice on what to now, besides drop it or be sincere. Actually before going through all the posts I wrote up a fairly long letter that is very sincere. I basically say what everyone here would say not to do. I explain that I like her and that is why I act so stupid. (I also address another mistake that I did not describe in the OP post, which was that to try to show that I like her I would make inappropriate jokes and they got to be too much).
My dilemma now though is do I send it now (while she might be busy at work) or wait until I think she would have time to sit down and really read it?
Also Charlie, sorry I don't really play SC any more, but even if I did, I would suck now... Nooooooo nonono don't send the letter. Just DROP IT holy crap man. And if you're gonna tell a girl you like her, do it in a nice setting. Like after dinner, after hanging out, take her to a nice viewpoint nearby, prepare something classy, anything. Not by a letter, e-mail, text, facebook, or anything like that.
(other post that rang true that I had to omit for brevity).
I realized that I need to just chill out and let it be what it is. Asking for advice on the forum was another stupid thing to do. Subconsciously I wanted to be punished for my stupid actions, and I think deep down I wanted her to discover this blog and that it would make it all better. The first is pointless, and the second is unlikely and would probably be a bad thing anyways.
Also like advised, it would have been bad to send that letter (especially while she still might be creeped out). If it ever comes up again I will talk about it honestly, but not with hopes of getting with her. We are back on good standing, but my chances are probably near 0, and I'm cool with that.
Lessons learned:
Chill the fuck out
Don't say anything major except in person
Don't seek advice from a forum (any action that you take that is not yours cannot work).
To those that gave good advice and those that insulted me, thank you very much for your help.
  
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Well when she says drop it, she probably doesn't want to talk about it.
I think you should just apologize for going that far, she should forgive you. It usually works for me if you didn't mean to upset them.
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well, women can't comprehend men's fascination with boobs.
i think you should have just tried to explain that to her, instead of explaining that you meant your face
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Thanks, I have already apologized, without any more excuses/explanations.
I know it makes sense to have just dropped it originally, but how can you let someone think you meant such a horrible thing about them?
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thats pretty creepy dude.
your kinda like that dude from silence of the lambs that makes women suits from their skin and dances in womens underwear but with photoshop.
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Explain the misunderstanding and apologise, but only once.
Your biggest mistake imo was to keep bringing it up and trying to apologise.
This makes you come across as insecure and needy, and she would naturally pull away from you if you act like that.
To be honest, not apologising at all would have been better. Chicks love dudes who make fun of them sometimes, even if they don't admit it.
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Gonna give you some legit tips mang.
1. Don't apologize unless you actually did something wrong
2. Don't attempt jokes anymore, learn to juggle or magic tricks
3. Don't apologize over facebook (this isn't necessary if you follow tip #1)
4. Only be friends with women that are your relatives or ugly chicks that can hook you up with their friends
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On November 03 2010 13:59 Coagulation wrote:
thats pretty creepy dude.
your kinda like that dude from silence of the lambs that makes women suits from their skin and dances in womens underwear but with photoshop.
thanks, but i dont photoshop women (except this time)
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Yeah you went way too far. Just apologize for overreacting but you really didn't want her to misinterpret it because that's not what you meant. NOTHING MORE, no long drawn out explanations, just like, one line.
The more you apologized for it the weirder it seems and like... yeah. xP
Good luck with things, if all goes well it could be something you guys can laugh about down the line, rather than the thing that just breaks everything. I mean, it's better to have a man who over-apologizes and you have to smack him on the head a couple times to be like, stop over-apologizing (and he'll apologize again for over-apologizing right after xP) than to have a guy that always thinks he's right. So really, you can't have screwed up that much right? =P
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She said that she didn't find boobs activeness yet you have to use one of those sexy boobs (according to men at least).
I think you probably screwed up the photoshop. Putting her face in it is an insult to her...
Instead you should write another message saying that you thought more it and kind of understand what she meant when she said those who have boobs don't find them attractive. Don't do another photoshop too. She don't think it is a joke.
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On November 03 2010 13:59 Coagulation wrote:
thats pretty creepy dude.
your kinda like that dude from silence of the lambs that makes women suits from their skin and dances in womens underwear but with photoshop.
Being creepy with photoshop is Coag's territory. Back off bro.
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On November 03 2010 14:01 Korynne wrote:
Yeah you went way too far. Just apologize for overreacting but you really didn't want her to misinterpret it because that's not what you meant. NOTHING MORE, no long drawn out explanations, just like, one line.
The more you apologized for it the weirder it seems and like... yeah. xP
Good luck with things, if all goes well it could be something you guys can laugh about down the line, rather than the thing that just breaks everything. I mean, it's better to have a man who over-apologizes and you have to smack him on the head a couple times to be like, stop over-apologizing (and he'll apologize again for over-apologizing right after xP) than to have a guy that always thinks he's right. So really, you can't have screwed up that much right? =P
This is good analysis, but what should I do now? I'm thinking leave her alone until she talks to me? Is this right?
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You know what maybe shes just slow to get the joke
I highly recommend photoshopping her face and tits on other stuff to get her to understand.
perhaps a komodo dragon
or the statue of liberty
maybe do a whole litter of kittens
this should clear up any confusion and she will totally laugh at how witty you are!
whatever you do dont stop bringing it up untill you feel it has been resolved to a satisfactory level.
good luck bro.
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Don't apologise, just tease, be playful and laugh it off. Go over the top, make the joke ridiculous, just say something like you'd be much prettier without a head  You've lost as soon as you admit it was an insult by being such a wuss. You just come off as really insecure trying to explain it + the creepy photo.
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I am insecure....
Would it be creepy to change my facebook status to "i am a strange creepy idiot" ?
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Yeah just don't say any more about it. I mean not a fucking word, you have already dug this hole deep enough. Give her a few days/a week to cool off (I don't know how often you guys hang out) and then hang out with her again. Stay cool.
On November 03 2010 14:18 flag wrote:
I am insecure....
Would it be creepy to change my facebook status to "i am a strange creepy idiot" ?
...that would be about the stupidest thing you could do.
Women like a man who is secure in his own self-esteem and allowing her comment to so obviously influence you demonstrates to her that you are insecure. A real man doesn't give a flying fuck if a woman is offended because she misinterpreted something he said, because she is clearly in the wrong.
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On November 03 2010 14:18 flag wrote:
I am insecure....
Would it be creepy to change my facebook status to "i am a strange creepy idiot" ?
Yes, don't do that.
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I think also a mistake was that it is not effective to insult yourself in apology unless multiple other people can see this insult
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what?
just drop it already, yeesh
tell her she's pretty
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wait you would be attracted to your own boobs if you had them? I mean i'm attracted to girls asses but i don't look at mine in the mirror and pop a boner,
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EPT
