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Yesterday morning, my parents went to a lake trail to walk, and they planned to barbeque when they got back for lunch. So what happened was when they got back home, my dad went to take a shower while my mom went out to the stores to buy sausages. She bought the cheaper kind for 2.99$$.
So when she got home my dad was giving her an attitude for buying the ones that he doesn't like and he wanted the sausages from the store for 7.99$. So my dad was insulting my mom like "dumbass" "Trash" ...etc. My mom i believe doesn't think that's normal now because my dad always says that to her, me and our entire family.
My dad was like
"Go return these back into the store and get the ones for 7.99$" (in a rude tone) "But i already got these" "return it NOW we tried these sausages the last time and you know it wasn't good" "okay" "FUCK, don't return it, i don't want you to waste the gas money, if you're gonna return it walk and do it"
So because they went walking in the morning, they came back and my dad wanted some orange juice in the fridge. But the juice was placed deep in the fridge, and there was yogourt blocking it. So he just dragged the orange juice from inside the fridge and knocked out all the yogourt on the ground. Thats when my mom blew annd screamed "What the hell is your problem" i can understand because after being called trash/dumbass for buying the cheaper kind of sausage for a GOOD reason because my dad was the only guy with a job so she was trying to save money. So she got REALLY pissed and smashed a glass cup on the ground and it shattered.
"fine let's not eat anything this entire day then" says my dad "okay fine, i was trying to be good hearted and save you money, and you rage about it" my mom responded.
So basically afterwards They went into seperate rooms for the entire time from 12:00pm to 5:30pm. My mom came to the kitchen to make me and my sister ramen at 3pm, she didn't have any though. At around 4:30pm, my dad went to cook himself food, and after he finished eating my mom went down to make us dumplings. As soon as my mom turned on the stove he went
"TURN IT OFF" "Why? no" "TURN IT OFF, Trashes like you don't deserver to eat" "... FINE, i'm leaving the house to get fresh air" (While it was raining outside :\
Soon my dad yelled at my sister, and said
"Pick up these yogourts if you want it, if not i'm throwing it away"
Obviously my sister was frightened and picked them up and put them in the fridge. (But seriously you knocked it down, at least have the decency to put it back yourself...)
Few minutes later, he yelled my name
"YANG, you're dumb as a nut, go find your mom why are you sitting there like youre a dumbass".
Needless to say i was pissed and said, "don't you think its you should be the one to find her? you're weak as hell, can't even admit/ nor apologize for being an ass"
My sister wanted to come too, but she was caught by my dad while she was putting on her shoes.
At the end i found out that she was screamed, at, and was forced to slap herself on the face hard (This happens often as punishment for her) and was forced to stand in the basement.
So i went out i was hungry, all i had was ramen, i knew my mom didn't have any lunch nor dinner, so i went into tacobell to buy 3 bean burritos for 3 dollars, it was pretty cheap. I ate one while on the way.
I searched for about 1.5horus to 2 hours wondering the streets and going to stores like walgreens to find her. At the end i found her, i gave my mom a burrito and we talked for a bit and went back. I secretly snuck the burrito for my sister in the basement she was really frightened and was eating it with caution.
Now realize, that all of this happened because and ONLY because of the sausages that my mom bought. There was no other things that made my dad pissed of f, and i can gaurantee that its not "the straw that broke the camel's back" plus there from what i know, he wasn't in a PARTICULARLY bad mood that day nor anything like that.
I talked to my mom later at night she was like "realize your dad is the only one working with a job, its hard for him" I raged and responded "oh yah, so now everyone's wife that doesn't work in a family has a husband that rages like that"
I find it ridiculous my mom believes that its OKAY for my dad to rage becuase we feel different about something nor have a disagreement in the family.
As a child i used to get beaten by my dad for various reasons mostly school, and other times just because he gets pissed off, he's afraid to do it now because he knows i will strick back.
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So today i got the bill for my freshmen year college's bills, it was around 16,000$$, and i thought maybe that my 5500$ scholarship was already deducted into it. So he got raged again and said "OF COURSE ITS NOT DEDUCTED IT LOOK AT THIS...etc" and i can hear him mumbling "piece of trash...etc".
"god, i can look at this for 2 seconds and i know its not deducted, while you looked at it for an entire afternoon, This is why you can't score high on your tests, you don't understand how to do these things and read these situations, and you NEVER will. I've been in school my entire life, you'll need to ask me for assistance even when im 80"
"yeah, if you beg me to ask you."
(Even though i have till aug 8th to pay the bill, and i can EASILY call the college to ask if it was deducted or not, he still rages like this)
Now, notice that it's not 100% sure whose right or wrong yet, but thats not the point. It's the fact that EVERYTHING he tries to teach me in life, he rages about it first, and insults my intelligence, my worth of a human being and the entire family. Plus to be honest i never had a role model, but i do have someone to model to know what NOT to do.
Anyways that's my rant, I understand if he rages like this is because he's paying for my colleges like most asian parents, but he's actually not. He's lending me money without interest fees, and i have to return it back to him after my 6 year program. And he acts like i need to depend on him for everything. I'm actually SO MUCH MORE happy to get bank for $$ instead of depending on this asshole, and having to rage with him every so often.
I'm moving to my dorm aug 19th and i can't wait till i get out of this shit hole, though i feel bad for my sister she's only 10 and still have several more years to live through.
edit: I don't want pity, just wanted to share.
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Wow, you kind is kinda fucked up. Should't you know - tell someone about this (not the Internet). This sounds abusive.
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some people self destruct as they age, especially around middle age when they realize their lives are half baked. This kind of behaviour is more common than you might think.
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sounds like my dad growing up, but he has completely changed the way he acts. He still gets mad, but mostly it is my fault. He definetly is better the way he reacts and handles situations. Im sorry to hear this, and when I read your sister is only 10 that made me really angry. It is a shitty situation, but i dont think it is nearly as bad as it could be. Of course im going off the little infromation you give, and it sounds it has never gone beyond verbal abuse. Still, it could be worse.
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You're dad is a douche. I am just going to hope that this isn't his 24/7 attitude, and that he does have his good days.
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Damn dude...I hate your dad already... I feel really empathetic towards you guys.
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Contact a third party with your mother. By not doing so you're potentially going to cause huge amounts of damage to both your mother and sister who'll have to otherwise stay with your father. Making a 10 year old slap herself is bad enough but a person capable of doing so is capable of much more than that if things don't go according to his plan.
Good luck and hopefully your family's situation is a bit brighter in the future.
edit: I hope you understand that in most families even a small hit is usually a big fucking deal, your father seems like a person that is clearly not capable of raising a human being with that kind of attitude. Save your family by getting them help from a third party or you're going to regret it for the rest of your life.
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On July 13 2010 08:38 Dance.jhu wrote: sounds like my dad growing up, but he has completely changed the way he acts. He still gets mad, but mostly it is my fault. He definetly is better the way he reacts and handles situations. Im sorry to hear this, and when I read your sister is only 10 that made me really angry. It is a shitty situation, but i dont think it is nearly as bad as it could be. Of course im going off the little infromation you give, and it sounds it has never gone beyond verbal abuse. Still, it could be worse. It's mostly verbal abuse now, sometimes my sister still gets beat physically, not me anymore, and rarely my mom anymore.
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Hey dude, I'm sorry for what your going through :/
I just wanted to say a couple things. First, just remember we all have parent trouble and even if your dad seems harsh and asshole-like, he's still your dad. It could be that he doesn't know how to show his affection for you and thus treats you like shit (wtf, but it could be >.< ) ; regarding the borrowing of money for college, I know some friends whose dads said the same thing only to make them work hard but never asked for the money back afterwards.
Most importantly, do NOT think college is an escape for you. Don't ever forget your sister and your mom is still there. Please go back home and contact your sister and mother to make sure everything is okay; make sure your sister and mom can contact you at a moments notice. Even if you dont' like your dad, make sure you protect your sister and mom.
Anyways, life will get better eventually. Good luck at college
I hope you have fun there ^^
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On July 13 2010 08:40 YPang wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 08:38 Dance.jhu wrote: sounds like my dad growing up, but he has completely changed the way he acts. He still gets mad, but mostly it is my fault. He definetly is better the way he reacts and handles situations. Im sorry to hear this, and when I read your sister is only 10 that made me really angry. It is a shitty situation, but i dont think it is nearly as bad as it could be. Of course im going off the little infromation you give, and it sounds it has never gone beyond verbal abuse. Still, it could be worse. It's mostly verbal abuse now, sometimes my sister still gets beat physically, not me anymore, and rarely my mom anymore.
by beat, do you mean spanked? i sure hope so
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Yep, sounds like he's a douche...realize that he's just a asshole who happens to be your dad and interact as little as possible. Thats what I do. With my parents I've found its not even worth arguing with them or even rebuking the retarded stuff they sometimes say...just going about my business as if nothing happened makes everything alot easier. Be glad you are an adult and can (college cost the annoying exception) take care of yourself and live your own life without making their mistakes.
Thats terrible for your sister though, are your parent contemplating divorce or anything?
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On July 13 2010 08:41 Dance.jhu wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 08:40 YPang wrote:On July 13 2010 08:38 Dance.jhu wrote: sounds like my dad growing up, but he has completely changed the way he acts. He still gets mad, but mostly it is my fault. He definetly is better the way he reacts and handles situations. Im sorry to hear this, and when I read your sister is only 10 that made me really angry. It is a shitty situation, but i dont think it is nearly as bad as it could be. Of course im going off the little infromation you give, and it sounds it has never gone beyond verbal abuse. Still, it could be worse. It's mostly verbal abuse now, sometimes my sister still gets beat physically, not me anymore, and rarely my mom anymore. by beat, do you mean spanked? i sure hope so Few month ago, my sister's face was red with bruises, and was made to lie to teachers and students saying that it was just a rash. And she is often kicked not sure about the strength of kick, but definitly enough to get her to be on her butt.
I used to get belted, with bruises over my leg, my sides on the body, and my arms would be totally red. He doesn't dare to do it anymore though to me anyways.
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Thats terrible for your sister though, are your parent contemplating divorce or anything? they did a lot of years ago, not anymore. The way my dad verbally assaults my mom is a normal thing now, so she doesn't feel anything is wrong with it... Plus my mom depends on him for money.
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I understand man. I understand. Just push through it till you can depend on yourself and support your mom. It's hard shit.
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United States24480 Posts
What you described is child abuse. If you give me your contact information I am legally required to report your family to child protective services.
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if my dad ever hit my mom id kick the fucking shit out of him, ill never understand how any people can tolerate stuff like this
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I have the same problem, but with my mom.
When I move out I plan on taking as much shit as possible and never speaking to her again.
My dad is cool though.
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If you're not exaggerating then please at least contact the counselors at your school.
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On July 13 2010 08:48 zulu_nation8 wrote: If you're not exaggerating then please contact child protective services or at least the counselors at your school. No exaggeration :\, i just simply translated as best as i can from chinese to english. I thought about reporting such things but you know i never get the kick to do it. And even if i got people that tells me to do it, i just can't ...
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On July 13 2010 08:28 YPang wrote: I'm moving to my dorm aug 19th and i can't wait till i get out of this shit hole, though i feel bad for my sister she's only 10 and still have several more years to live through.
I think you should consider calling child services. Or you can get micronesia to do it for you...
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