EPTI hate my dad - Page 15
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NotJumperer
United States1371 Posts
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koreasilver
9109 Posts
Your arguments are valid but pitifully limited. If your way was the "answer" then there really is no answer. We must strive to fix the fundamental issues so that the symptoms will never be, not tend to the symptoms and let the body rot regardless. | ||
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NotJumperer
United States1371 Posts
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koreasilver
9109 Posts
Again, you didn't read any of my previous posts as I specifically said: Even we fellow Asians that have experienced the same things are limited in what we can do as every case is different, and as such every answer will be and can only be a subjective answer, not an objective one. Who are you arguing against, exactly, besides an imaginary opponent? | ||
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NotJumperer
United States1371 Posts
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koreasilver
9109 Posts
User was temp banned for this post. | ||
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NotJumperer
United States1371 Posts
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koreasilver
9109 Posts
Who cares? People that have tried in spite of all that is against them to move forward. In spite of the human condition to strive to put another step ahead. And our condition is infinitely intimate with YPang's condition as he is also another being that is subject to the human condition. What I said is relevant as in the end the only person that can find the answer to YPang's situation is YPang himself, because all cases are different in their own way. It also isn't just a mere coincidence that those who have no argument to venture into poor personal attacks. Perhaps you should be tending to your own ego. | ||
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frogmelter
United States971 Posts
Every solution posted has its downfall. If he stays quiet, he and his family will continued to be abused If he contacts CPS, then his father will get angrier and possibly the household's source of income will be gone What I've seen in this thread are people advising one course of action, and another people pointing out the faults with that plan and suggesting the other plan. Stop arguing guys... It's going in circles in everyone's quest to find a perfect solution There is no perfect solution | ||
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NotJumperer
United States1371 Posts
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NotJumperer
United States1371 Posts
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PanN
United States2828 Posts
We all are, it's ok. | ||
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NotJumperer
United States1371 Posts
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Folca
2235 Posts
Jumperer, koreasilver, I respect you both. | ||
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Tenryu
United States565 Posts
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Flying Duck
18 Posts
My sister wanted to come too, but she was caught by my dad while she was putting on her shoes. At the end I found out that she was screamed at, and was forced to slap herself on the face hard (this happens often as punishment for her) and was forced to stand in the basement. It sounds like your father has a severe mental illness. Without intervention, generally abusive people only become more abusive, not less. If you don't take action now, or at least get your mother and sister to a abused women's support shelter, you never know how things might turn out: An enraged man beat his partner with a broom handle and poured boiling water over her abdomen and legs, stuffing her mouth with a sponge to stifle her screams. The Wellington woman thought she would die during the four-day "reign of terror" in which she suffered severe burns and a broken eye socket. Dean Carl Griffiths, 41, pleaded guilty to wounding with intent to cause grievous bodily harm, assault with a weapon, breach of a protection order and three charges of assault. Yesterday, Judge Stephen Harrop in Wellington District Court said there had been an element of torture to Griffiths' "reign of terror" over his partner of several years. The judge jailed him for 7 1/2 years and ordered him to serve half the term. Griffiths pleaded guilty during the trial, after his partner, whose name is suppressed, gave evidence. The court was told Griffiths and his partner argued over four days last August. He punched her, leaving her bruised all over her body and with a broken eye socket. At one point he beat her for several hours with a broomstick, breaking it in two. He pushed a sponge into her mouth and poured boiling water over her abdomen and legs. Judge Harrop said the behaviour was "gross, barbaric and demeaning". He could only imagine the outcry if the same treatment had been given to an animal. Griffiths' partner was wearing a thin nightdress that provided no protection and the pain was excruciating, Judge Harrap said. There had been previous violence in their relationship and the woman had taken a protection order out against Griffiths early last year. Judge Harrop said the victim thought she could die during the abuse. She needed five months of constant redressing of her wounds and they became infected. She could no longer expose them to hot water or the sun. It would take two years before they were considered healed. Though there was likely to be scarring, it was accepted there would be no longer-term consequences, Judge Harrap said. In a victim impact statement, Griffiths' partner had said he "could make me feel so good about myself and could make me feel so bad". Judge Harrap said the couple's problems had grown worse after the death of twins the year before – one was miscarried and the other died shortly after birth. Defence lawyer Noel Sainsbury said the couple were in a dysfunctional and co-dependent relationship made worse by the loss of their twins and their inability to deal with it. The court was told Griffiths had told police his partner had made up the abuse and the injuries were self-inflicted. But Crown lawyer Tom Gilbert said there was remarkable cruelty involved and the victim had suffered severe pain and would take a long time to recover. - The Dominion Post. | ||
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Kashmir
New Zealand178 Posts
If you have someone you trust to keep quiet who is close to you and will give you advice then seek it immediately. Do you know a family member or friend of the family whom your dad will listen to that will be sympathetic to your situation? If so then maybe they can try and have a calm and non-confrontational chat with him to help him see the error of his ways. It might not work. It might make him worse. Whatever happens you should start formulating a get-up-and-go plan for you and your sis at the very least. You're her big brother and she's only a kid so you need to protect her as much as you can. Your parents are adults. Hard as it is it's not your duty to sort out their problems for them. Just focus on making sure you and your sis are safe first. I wish you the very best of luck. | ||
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BottleAbuser
Korea (South)1888 Posts
Anyways, like I said before, you'll probably get better advice from a counselor. Usually, school counselors don't charge students, so I'd go there. But of course, I'll add my own take on it too, because I'm human. Remember, the following is opinion. Violence, or threat of violence, is one of the last resorts. "I will die if I do not do this" should be passing through your head if you're using violence. Violence within a family is completely, utterly intolerable. I'm in the camp that says physical discipline is unnecessary, so I can therefore sidestep the "when does it stop being discipline and start being abuse?" problem. So, if there is violence in your family, do not tolerate it. I don't know your dad, and I don't know your relationship with him, but if you feel you owe it to him, or out of respect, perhaps, you can sit down and try to talk with him first. Make it very clear what the problem is, why it's a problem, and why he needs to fix it. Of course, there are always unintended consequences. This could result in your dad beating you, or instead taking it out on your sister and your mother. Think about what could happen, think about what you can do about it. Maybe tell your mom and sister to be out of the house for the day. Have a couple of big friends loitering outside your house for a couple of hours. (You don't want to die, either.) If the talking doesn't work (I don't expect it to with a man who beats his wife and kids), it's time to call the cops or whoever else that has the muscle and authority to do something about it. (Your sister's a minor? At the very least, there are child protection services in the US.) | ||
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MisteR
Netherlands595 Posts
The only constructive thing I can add, is that this culture, this way of upbringing, reminds me off Europe in the 19th century. China, in the way it functions today, already seemed to me to have many similarities to the time of the industrial revolution. To westerners, it's just really, really outdated. But to the Chinese, it might be the only way forward. We in the west had to go through that dark age of smog, of 20 hour workdays, of inequality and of nationwide depression. Who's to say that China, and other Asian countries, don't need that phase as well? I would be delighted, relieved really, if we could spare the Asians that terrible period of time that still is edged in our collective memory. The culture of the 19th century brought forth some the greatest evil the world has ever seen. On the other hand, it was also the cradle of our modern, semi-enlightened time and age. How can I tell what's good or bad? YPang, my thoughts are with you, and with all other Asian youngsters that have to suffer through all this. Take the right road. Tao, that's what the people back in China used to call it, right? Keep ol' Confucius in mind, but don't forget the Tao either. Best of luck. | ||
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BottleAbuser
Korea (South)1888 Posts
Oh, and "disorder" or not, the harm he is inflicting is real, regardless of the reason. A raving lunatic who derails a train because the voices told him to kills just as many people as the jihadist who does it because a book tells him to, or a soldier does "for justice." There should be sufficient efforts to stop all three, instead of looking at the lunatic and saying "oh, he has, you know, a disorder. Let's not stop that one." There is no need to go through what mister refers to as a "phase." One doesn't look at a young criminal and say "oh, maybe he just needs go through that phase before he becomes a productive member of society, just like xyz." I'll shut up before I get more sidetracked. | ||
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