I hate my dad - Page 4

On July 13 2010 09:27 YPang wrote:

Yes, its "normal" my dad was abused child so he claimed. This is why its happening. But in China i guess this is an okay act.

And yes i do believe my dad knows what he's doing is illegal because he told my sister to lie about her bruises if asked.

On July 13 2010 09:19 FragKrag wrote:

Assuming you call Child Services, you're still stuck. If anything I would suggest you to tell your mother to act like the perfect obedient Asian woman and do whatever he wants at least until you are out of college. You're not being a pussy. You're taking the only logical way out of this while securing yourself a source of income you can use to take your sister out.

On July 13 2010 09:37 Chairman Ray wrote:
This is quite a common problem in a lot of families, but this is one of the worst that I've ever heard of. Firstly, it has nothing to do with the sausages at all. The reason why a lot of fathers get angry is because of the tremendous amount of stress they face at work. School stress is nothing compared to work stress. At work, a lot rests on your shoulders, your boss is constantly verbally abusing you, etc, but the worst part is you have to suck it all up. This causes an extremely unhealthy emotional buildup. Your father takes his anger on your family because they're the only ones he can do it out on. He expresses his anger to you because he wants you to understand how bad it is for him, and how he has to go through hell just to put a roof over your head and food in your stomach. It's extremely frustrating to a father when his family does not repay him, or at least appreciate him for all he does. The absolute worst nightmare for a father is to put in every ounce of blood and sweat to raise a family, and not get the results desired. Your father does not want you, your sister, or your mother to be hurt. Every father wants a loving family, but not every father can put himself against his emotions to make a loving family. I guess your father is one of the many that can only use sheer anger to express how he feels.

To make things better, firstly you shouldn't lash back at him or call social services. That makes things much worse for you father and much worse for your family. What you need to do is to demonstrate to your father in some way that you understand everything that he goes through in order to put a roof over your heads and food in your stomachs, and you will try your best to make him proud. This may be one of the hardest things to do in your life. I for one, did not pull the courage to do such a thing to a man I was afraid of. I just tried a bit harder in school just so my father was a bit more content and also to grind it out until I moved out. You also have a sister on the line as well, maybe that's something to consider. Whatever you do, I would advise against calling social services or lashing back at him, unless it's the absolute last thing.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. A lot rests on your shoulders right now. Report back to us whenever you feel the need.

On July 13 2010 09:37 Chairman Ray wrote:
This is quite a common problem in a lot of families, but this is one of the worst that I've ever heard of. Firstly, it has nothing to do with the sausages at all. The reason why a lot of fathers get angry is because of the tremendous amount of stress they face at work. School stress is nothing compared to work stress. At work, a lot rests on your shoulders, your boss is constantly verbally abusing you, etc, but the worst part is you have to suck it all up. This causes an extremely unhealthy emotional buildup. Your father takes his anger on your family because they're the only ones he can do it out on. He expresses his anger to you because he wants you to understand how bad it is for him, and how he has to go through hell just to put a roof over your head and food in your stomach. It's extremely frustrating to a father when his family does not repay him, or at least appreciate him for all he does. The absolute worst nightmare for a father is to put in every ounce of blood and sweat to raise a family, and not get the results desired. Your father does not want you, your sister, or your mother to be hurt. Every father wants a loving family, but not every father can put himself against his emotions to make a loving family. I guess your father is one of the many that can only use sheer anger to express how he feels.

To make things better, firstly you shouldn't lash back at him or call social services. That makes things much worse for you father and much worse for your family. What you need to do is to demonstrate to your father in some way that you understand everything that he goes through in order to put a roof over your heads and food in your stomachs, and you will try your best to make him proud. This may be one of the hardest things to do in your life. I for one, did not pull the courage to do such a thing to a man I was afraid of. I just tried a bit harder in school just so my father was a bit more content and also to grind it out until I moved out. You also have a sister on the line as well, maybe that's something to consider. Whatever you do, I would advise against calling social services or lashing back at him, unless it's the absolute last thing.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. A lot rests on your shoulders right now. Report back to us whenever you feel the need.

On July 13 2010 09:43 sob3k wrote:


Sorry, but this is an absolutely disastrous idea...Its not possible for a human to "just stick it out and shut up" and avoid conflict for four years while you are at college. It sounds like a great compromise but jesus, I have seen this tried so many times.

1. It sounds like the situation is already deteriorating between the parents, it is not physically or emotionally possible to just ignore this for 4 years, if it has escalated over 10 years, it will continue to escalate.

2. Acting like "the perfect obedient Asian woman" will not pacify or avoid conflict, I guarantee your dad will find something to complain and become enraged about, and even if your mother COMPLETELY avoids any reponse to it, the atmosphere and relationship will become like a fucking toxic gas.

3. IT WILL FUCK YOUR SISTER UP. FUCK HER UP MAJORLY. Living with two parents who are constantly in conflict and hate and disrespect each other will cause your sister to develop serious emotional and relational problems. No matter how much you think people can just "tough it out" and be unaffected, its just not true. I have seen SO MANY people who are unable to live happy lives and are stuck with all kinds of terrible relationship problems because of living in environments like this. I'm sure your sister is a strong person, but she isn't magic. If you leave her in this deteriorating situation for (at minimum) 4 years, she will be effected. Haven't you heard LoveLine for gods sake? EVERY SINGLE PERSON calling up with major psychological problems grew up in an abusive home like this. Its not a fucking coincidence.

Yes, money IS a serious concern, but there are thing more important. One of them is not potentially ruining the rest of your sisters life with emotional issues. Everyone in contact with this situation is negatively effected, your mom is effected, your dad is effected, your sister is effected, YOU are effected. Nobody escapes. Now you need to do you best to minimize further harm.

Money is one factor, PLEASE weigh the others just as importantly.

On July 13 2010 09:37 Chairman Ray wrote:
The reason why a lot of fathers get angry is because of the tremendous amount of stress they face at work.

On July 13 2010 09:46 Roffles wrote:

YPang, I strongly recommend you read this post. I think it sheds light on the situation in general and really makes you think about what might be causing all of this.

Few month ago, my sister's face was red with bruises, and was made to lie to teachers and students saying that it was just a rash. And she is often kicked not sure about the strength of kick, but definitly enough to get her to be on her butt.

On July 13 2010 09:54 Orome wrote:
roffles, you honestly believe his sister will have it worse? jesus, there are worse things than no college money.

On July 13 2010 09:54 Count9 wrote:

If the above doesn't dictate child services, then that entire paragraph of advice is useless. The girl is getting fucking beat on her face, I think several gigantic lines have been crossed.

Honestly, it'd be good advice if the dad was stressed out and was verbally abusive and you can try it out, but when you start beating people hard and making your son hit his sister, there's problems. What he takes it too far one day? Kills her or does serious damage to her? It's ridiculous not to call child services, whatever the reason for his stress.

On July 13 2010 10:03 ]343[ wrote:


wait so just to make sure, she's told to slap herself? 掌嘴?

On July 13 2010 10:00 Roffles wrote:

Yes, if you think about it logically, his sister will be living off government shit for the next 8 years, as opposed to YPang, who is 19 and in college on loans and debt.

One is old enough to understand what is going on, one is not. She might not even have the chance to go to college, simply due to the lack of funding that her mother can provide her. How is her life going to be better than YPangs?

On July 13 2010 09:37 Chairman Ray wrote:
This is quite a common problem in a lot of families, but this is one of the worst that I've ever heard of. Firstly, it has nothing to do with the sausages at all. The reason why a lot of fathers get angry is because of the tremendous amount of stress they face at work. School stress is nothing compared to work stress. At work, a lot rests on your shoulders, your boss is constantly verbally abusing you, etc, but the worst part is you have to suck it all up. This causes an extremely unhealthy emotional buildup. Your father takes his anger on your family because they're the only ones he can do it out on. He expresses his anger to you because he wants you to understand how bad it is for him, and how he has to go through hell just to put a roof over your head and food in your stomach. It's extremely frustrating to a father when his family does not repay him, or at least appreciate him for all he does. The absolute worst nightmare for a father is to put in every ounce of blood and sweat to raise a family, and not get the results desired. Your father does not want you, your sister, or your mother to be hurt. Every father wants a loving family, but not every father can put himself against his emotions to make a loving family. I guess your father is one of the many that can only use sheer anger to express how he feels.

To make things better, firstly you shouldn't lash back at him or call social services. That makes things much worse for you father and much worse for your family. What you need to do is to demonstrate to your father in some way that you understand everything that he goes through in order to put a roof over your heads and food in your stomachs, and you will try your best to make him proud. This may be one of the hardest things to do in your life. I for one, did not pull the courage to do such a thing to a man I was afraid of. I just tried a bit harder in school just so my father was a bit more content and also to grind it out until I moved out. You also have a sister on the line as well, maybe that's something to consider. Whatever you do, I would advise against calling social services or lashing back at him, unless it's the absolute last thing.

Good luck in whatever you decide to do. A lot rests on your shoulders right now. Report back to us whenever you feel the need.

The absolute worst nightmare for a father is to put in every ounce of blood and sweat to raise a family, and not get the results desired

I guess your father is one of the many that can only use sheer anger to express how he feels.