EPTI hate my dad - Page 3
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Superiorwolf
United States5509 Posts
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sob3k
United States7572 Posts
I have close relatives who work in human services in Oregon, so i've seen first hand how much they can help people out. Read up and make a solid decision on how best to help your sister, mother, and even your dad, I guarantee he isn't doing well either. The most important thing is that you do SOMETHING. Inaction is also a choice, and its not one a responsible person should ever take in a situation like this. | ||
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FragKrag
United States11567 Posts
YPang the only thing you can do is persuade your mother into doing what's best for your sister. Chances are she might be sticking with your father in order to make sure that both you and your sister get the funds you both need for college. At least that's what my mom has been doing for the past 10 or so years. Assuming you call Child Services, you're still stuck. If anything I would suggest you to tell your mother to act like the perfect obedient Asian woman and do whatever he wants at least until you are out of college. You're not being a pussy. You're taking the only logical way out of this while securing yourself a source of income you can use to take your sister out. | ||
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ironchef
Canada1350 Posts
gl. seriously. | ||
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Orome
Switzerland11984 Posts
On July 13 2010 08:51 YPang wrote: No exaggeration :\, i just simply translated as best as i can from chinese to english. I thought about reporting such things but you know i never get the kick to do it. And even if i got people that tells me to do it, i just can't ... You need a kick? How about your sister being beaten, abused and having her life ruined? I know this isn't easy man but wtf, stop this. | ||
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Roffles
Pitcairn19291 Posts
If you call child services, your mother is unlikely to back you and is likely to just stick to your father because she has no job. That's only gonna cause more rifts in your family. Unless you persuade your mother first, she's not gonna oblige. The chances are minimal really. Even if she does agree, life is gonna be tougher for you, your mother, and your sister. There's gonna be bumps along the way, and it's not gonna be pretty. I trust that you're old enough to make the right decision along the way. Make good judgments and in the end it'll all be good. Have faith in yourself YPang. | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
1. What will happen to family 2. How am i gonna support myself or my mom/sister 3. what if my dad doesn't get any suspension, things might jsut be worse. 4. and yes i think my mom might bail him out anyways. 5. most importantly, i don't think they will take any person's words for it, i think they need to see physical bruise marks inorder to do anything. I might be wrong. But right now, nobody has bruise marks. | ||
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zulu_nation8
China26351 Posts
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baller
527 Posts
here is the only viable, real world solution. first enroll ur sister in some sort of self defense class. then train her in basic weapons, hand 2 hand first, then projectile/ranged. once she has the basics down, u can see if she has the right mentality. get her used to taking punches, dodging attacks, etc. if she is 2 scared, maybe take her on vacation to tailand or a buddist temple or smth, use ur creativity. do this on ur holiday breaks and summer vacation. ur first priority should still be studying university, but a close second is the training of ur 10yo sister. after a few years of this, she should be ready. she is now hit girl, like from the movie kick ass. if ur dad tries touching her she can unleash the beast and be like "u wanna play 2 dad?? u cunt" and kick the shit out of him. this is the only solution that will work imo. | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
On July 13 2010 09:25 zulu_nation8 wrote: YPang has your family or relatives tried to convince you this type of family environment is normal in Chinese culture? If so is that one of the reasons you haven't acted? Yes, its "normal" my dad was abused child so he claimed. This is why its happening. But in China i guess this is an okay act. And yes i do believe my dad knows what he's doing is illegal because he told my sister to lie about her bruises if asked. | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
here is the only viable, real world solution. first enroll ur sister in some sort of self defense class. then train her in basic weapons, hand 2 hand first, then projectile/ranged. once she has the basics down, u can see if she has the right mentality. get her used to taking punches, dodging attacks, etc. if she is 2 scared, maybe take her on vacation to tailand or a buddist temple or smth, use ur creativity. do this on ur holiday breaks and summer vacation. ur first priority should still be studying university, but a close second is the training of ur 10yo sister. after a few years of this, she should be ready. she is now hit girl, like from the movie kick ass. if ur dad tries touching her she can unleash the beast and be like "u wanna play 2 dad?? u cunt" and kick the shit out of him. this is the only solution that will work imo. lmao XD!! ^^ | ||
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Orome
Switzerland11984 Posts
On July 13 2010 09:19 FragKrag wrote: I think people are underestimating the mother's role in this entire situation. YPang the only thing you can do is persuade your mother into doing what's best for your sister. Chances are she might be sticking with your father in order to make sure that both you and your sister get the funds you both need for college. At least that's what my mom has been doing for the past 10 or so years. Assuming you call Child Services, you're still stuck. If anything I would suggest you to tell your mother to act like the perfect obedient Asian woman and do whatever he wants at least until you are out of college. You're not being a pussy. You're taking the only logical way out of this while securing yourself a source of income you can use to take your sister out. It would be a different story if it was just the 3 of them, but he has a 10 year old sister who's being forced to slap her own face hard, stand in the cellar and lie about her beatings at school. A steady income and money for college is important and all, but it sure as hell isn't worth going through years of abuse. In the end, what the mother does is up to her, but he absolutely needs to take care of his sister. It seems as though noone else will. | ||
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Roffles
Pitcairn19291 Posts
On July 13 2010 09:24 YPang wrote: If i report, there are several things on my mind 1. What will happen to family 2. How am i gonna support myself or my mom/sister 3. what if my dad doesn't get any suspension, things might jsut be worse. 4. and yes i think my mom might bail him out anyways. 5. most importantly, i don't think they will take any person's words for it, i think they need to see physical bruise marks inorder to do anything. I might be wrong. But right now, nobody has bruise marks. 1) This one's the tough one. Even if you report, your mother is going to lose the most out of all this. As you said, she's a housewife, which means she probably doesn't have the skills necessary in order to sustain a household as well as a child. 2) You can support yourself. Just loan your way through college, with aid of scholarships and stuff. Then go into debt and work on paying it back. Your mother and sister on the other hand might suffer a bit. 3) I believe its your words vs his. They'll most likely take your sister's words since I think they trust children more. 4) Very possible. In fact I think this is the most logical choice for her to be honest. 5) Nah, I think they'll take your word. If not yours, then your sisters. The problem is if you call, your family is going to be in shambles. The way I see it, it's just a lose lose situation honestly. | ||
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FragKrag
United States11567 Posts
2. Yeah nobody can answer that. Go through college and work up a lot of debts and work them off is the 'real' man solution, but hardly ideal. 3. He will get suspension, but your mom will back him. Even if she doesn't, it's only a temporary solution and when he comes out he will be fucking angry (take this from me, my father was fucking angry at me after I sent him to jail). 4. That's what mine did. Even after I spent the night trying to convince her not to. 5. dunno Orome yeah, but the idea is to avoid all contact if at all possible. It's either that or have his family live off of welfare. There is no easy way out since enforcement of divorces is very lax in the US. Chances are that the man will never pay for anything. It's extremely easy to dodge those feels. | ||
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Orome
Switzerland11984 Posts
On July 13 2010 09:24 YPang wrote: If i report, there are several things on my mind 1. What will happen to family 2. How am i gonna support myself or my mom/sister 3. what if my dad doesn't get any suspension, things might jsut be worse. 4. and yes i think my mom might bail him out anyways. 5. most importantly, i don't think they will take any person's words for it, i think they need to see physical bruise marks inorder to do anything. I might be wrong. But right now, nobody has bruise marks. Then talk to your school counsellor first and ask him how you should best approach the situation. But don't just sit there and do nothing about it. Have you talked with your sister about all of this? | ||
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zulu_nation8
China26351 Posts
On July 13 2010 09:27 YPang wrote: Yes, its "normal" my dad was abused child so he claimed. This is why its happening. But in China i guess this is an okay act. And yes i do believe my dad knows what he's doing is illegal because he told my sister to lie about her bruises if asked. You need to have a clear boundary in your head of where Chinese values end and American ones take over. If you think your sister needs help then you need to act. You don't need to contact the government but you need to find the will to do something. | ||
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Carthac
United States393 Posts
I beg of you, please contact someone to look at your household for the sake of your little sister. | ||
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YPang
United States4024 Posts
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Amnesia
United States3818 Posts
On July 13 2010 09:02 shieldbreak wrote: I suggest you beat the crap out of that bastard until he thinks twice about doing that shit to you guys. He can't call the cops b/c then you can just tell what he's been doing the whole time. At least NOT this. Idk about the child service because I'm not the expert on that matter. But I totally understand your situation. My dad is pretty much the same (verbally). Luckily I never was physically abused. | ||
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Chairman Ray
United States11903 Posts
To make things better, firstly you shouldn't lash back at him or call social services. That makes things much worse for you father and much worse for your family. What you need to do is to demonstrate to your father in some way that you understand everything that he goes through in order to put a roof over your heads and food in your stomachs, and you will try your best to make him proud. This may be one of the hardest things to do in your life. I for one, did not pull the courage to do such a thing to a man I was afraid of. I just tried a bit harder in school just so my father was a bit more content and also to grind it out until I moved out. You also have a sister on the line as well, maybe that's something to consider. Whatever you do, I would advise against calling social services or lashing back at him, unless it's the absolute last thing. Good luck in whatever you decide to do. A lot rests on your shoulders right now. Report back to us whenever you feel the need. | ||
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