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On July 13 2010 08:43 YPang wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 08:41 Dance.jhu wrote:On July 13 2010 08:40 YPang wrote:On July 13 2010 08:38 Dance.jhu wrote:
sounds like my dad growing up, but he has completely changed the way he acts. He still gets mad, but mostly it is my fault. He definetly is better the way he reacts and handles situations. Im sorry to hear this, and when I read your sister is only 10 that made me really angry. It is a shitty situation, but i dont think it is nearly as bad as it could be. Of course im going off the little infromation you give, and it sounds it has never gone beyond verbal abuse. Still, it could be worse. It's mostly verbal abuse now, sometimes my sister still gets beat physically, not me anymore, and rarely my mom anymore. by beat, do you mean spanked? i sure hope so Few month ago, my sister's face was red with bruises, and was made to lie to teachers and students saying that it was just a rash. And she is often kicked not sure about the strength of kick, but definitly enough to get her to be on her butt. I used to get belted, with bruises over my leg, my sides on the body, and my arms would be totally red. He doesn't dare to do it anymore though to me anyways.
Whoa man...hold your horses... thats totally not ok and you need to tell someone who can help get him counseling and stop this from happening ever again.
It is your moral responsibility to protect your sister from child abuse...you NEED to to seek help.
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guys guys guys, there's really not a lot he can do. if he does call child services it just puts his family in an even worse position. his dad is the only one with the job, where would the sister and mother go if they were parted with the dad? not to mention who would loan him money for university? they wouldn't have any money to go anywhere. i don't think his mom is stupid enough to not realize what her options are, she just knows that putting up with his shit would be the best life for her and her family for the time being.
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I don't want to get into this...
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Some people just aren't worth your time, family or otherwise.
Take care of your mom and sister. And get to college as soon as you can.
Get some therapy as well! That's big. For your sister and mom too if you can.
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Roffles
Pitcairn19291 Posts
Sorry, but even if you don't think it's the best idea, I strongly suggest you talk to child protective services.
I know you really don't want to in fear of him flipping and shit and disowning you or whatnot. I know the repercussions might be severe, but you just have to understand that this is not like the typical asian family situation. This is definitely overboard and you have to at least seek out some help.
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That is a really bad situation..I hated my household (constantly fighting parents, never layed a finger on me and siblings though) but I didn't know things could be like this O_o. Calling child services is a really delicate thing though, it might cause more anger and worse things to happen, however It is probably the only option.
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Baa?21245 Posts
Even if you don't want to go as drastic as child services right away, I strongly suggest you talk to at least -someone- As zulu said, a counselor at your school maybe. If this is really what's going on, this isn't really something you should just bear with cause this is not going to have a good ending .
Good luck with everything.
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I know its tough, but you need to get help.
You need to talk to someone like this. One day your Dad could get into a rage and take it too far.
It only takes one second for him to make a huge mistake.
I've worked with countless children from abusive homes, you don't want your sister to grow up in a situation like that.
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On July 13 2010 08:51 YPang wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2010 08:48 zulu_nation8 wrote:
If you're not exaggerating then please contact child protective services or at least the counselors at your school. No exaggeration :\, i just simply translated as best as i can from chinese to english. I thought about reporting such things but you know i never get the kick to do it. And even if i got people that tells me to do it, i just can't ...
dude, I know how fucking difficult this is but it is something you absolutely MUST do. Its totally not even an option to let your little sister get beat up because you feel uncomfortable confronting the problem. If you don't do something to help you will never be able to get it off of your conscience.
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On July 13 2010 08:52 Malgrif wrote:
guys guys guys, there's really not a lot he can do. if he does call child services it just puts his family in an even worse position. his dad is the only one with the job, where would the sister and mother go if they were parted with the dad? not to mention who would loan him money for university? they wouldn't have any money to go anywhere. i don't think his mom is stupid enough to not realize what her options are, she just knows that putting up with his shit would be the best life for her and her family for the time being.
Wtf do you think social services does? Split the whole family up into internment camps? Confiscate life savings?
FYI....they don't
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9935 Posts
call child protective services, please.
i have unfortunately witnessed this first hand (a lot of the scenes were identical to yours) and the damage to people under this kind of abuse is criminal. your sister is just going to be hollowed out.
as much as i despise the term, i believe how you treat your wife and kids is the only true gauge of "manhood".
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I suggest you beat the crap out of that bastard until he thinks twice about doing that shit to you guys. He can't call the cops b/c then you can just tell what he's been doing the whole time.
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I'm at a loss for words and I don't even know what I could say that would help. But there's a lot of good advice in this thread.
Take care, and hopefully this will just be a memory soon enough.
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I'm pretty damn sure it is the law to report abuse if you hear about it, in Missouri at least, which would cross out the whole talking to counselor thing. But being an online forum and all, we can't really do much... Anyways... a lot of asian dads have this idea of being the "boss" and having to "dominate" family matters, which can lead to expression of anger that most people would hold to themselves in other types of families. YPang, just because you go off to college, doesn't mean you'll be away from your family/father. You still have to go back during summers. If your sister is getting abused to the point where it turns physical, you yourself should at least take action to stop him, whether it is calling the police or stopping him. Sometimes, people need to be shaken up to realize what they are doing is wrong. You yourself need to take action asap to correct the problem.Verbal abuse from him is understandable because my parents did it all the time in order to get me to shake up and honestly, it worked. However, physical abuse only damages people who are still looking up to their parents and only leads to abusive parenting by the child later on.
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Sounds a lot like my family every Saturday =_=
All I can say is that you probably shouldn't call the cops. Your mom sounds a lot like my mom, and if you do end up calling the cops, she'll probably bail him out like mine did and you will be back to where you started or worse (probably worse). If she doesn't understand she is being abused it will all be for naught. It's up to you to something in that case.
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Graduate in four years and house your sister? Then again that's no where near as short
Slip some estrogen in his drinks? =P
But social services wouldn't be a bad idea, especially since you are going to college now. Even if your family gets broken up, it'd be better than your situation now
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You need to do something.
I don't care what it is, if you call child services, or being the living fuck of the the man, but you need to protect the women in your family.They physically can't protect themselves and have been convinced by your father that it would be WORSE to leave.
It is your responsibility as a member of this family to act now. Sitting complacent hurts your family the same way your fathers hands do.
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Oh my God, this makes me feel bad...and I thought I was having it rough .__. My dad also is the only one in my family with a job, goes early and comes late, but he's totally fine (though he'll get randomly pissed off too).
I know many people who've experienced abuse, but I've never had it myself and I should be thankful for that. Best of luck, and I hope your family can make it through. Perhaps a job of your own would take some pressure off your dad's shoulders.
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CPS can help with housing, food, Medicaid and such. There is usually an adult component to CPS (in some states it only applies to the elderly, in some it is 18+) for abused adults like your mother.
Even if you are gone, your mother and sister are still stuck there. Call and ask for their advice; you can even tell them if he found out he would be pissed and they'll help.
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EPT
