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Hey guys, heres a few things you'll probably want to know about myself in order to correctly see what sort of person I am.
My names Nathan, I'm 16 (but quite mature) and even as a little kid I've always needed the comfort of a close friend thats a girl (Not really a girlfriend at the time, but a different sort of friend). When I hit high school (Which is year 7 - 10 in Australia) I started to go out with a few people, found one person of real interest that we really clicked. She is gone, we still talk but she is having issues but doesn't want to really get too close with me, since she has a boyfriend and is afraid of temptation. I'm a pretty emotional (and not very physical) sort of guy.
I moved school when i went to College (Years 11/12 in Aus) and I quickly made friends, but one guy stood out. We clicked, and soon became best mates. He is a year older than me (like most people in my year), we hanged out, drinked (like alot of teens do), but in some strange sort of moderation. We have lots of fun together and the only thing I think in our way is him joining the military in a few months (special camp for people interested in special forces).
I get along pretty damn well with all his family. I'm basically their second son at the moment, I love staying there because I get along with them alot better than I do with my parents. But heres the thing, I love his sister
For a while I was pretty shocked and having mini-freakouts. I spent time with her, but not really that much. I didn't lead her on or any of that crap guys do at my age (or later on) but things just quickly spun out of control. I wanted to tell him but the only time I had planned to talk to him about it he managed to get in a prang.. while I was at his place spending time with her while he picked a friend up.
He was okay, but in deep shit from his parents. So I couldn't really tell him then, it would have being wrong. I instead took the time I had to talk to her. She didn't say much and the only thing she ever told me was that she was 'confused' (which I can sympathize with.. We all had hard choices at that age).
Now we come to last night, like usual we watched a few movies all together (me, my mate and her) and every-things going normal. She is a little more chirpy than usual and is doing things she usually hides (tickle attacks and other cute shit like that) from him. Obviously he took notice, and I knew that he was going to approach me in private about it.
The following morning we talk about it, being the great guy that he is he confessed he had suspected for a while, but was actually encouraging it because he knew I was a great guy who wouldn't try and take advantage of her or any of that shit.
Besides helping me relieve some stress on this heres my point. Is dating your mates sister really that bad? I don't love her because it's his sister, but becauses its her. She is 2 years younger than me, and thats okay since i'm pretty sure it won't be physical, I would never.. EVER pressure or do that sort of thing.
But yeah..?
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hi5 bro
also yeah, it's pretty fucked although at your age, if he's okay with it, I say go for it
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On July 03 2010 13:05 youngminii wrote: hi5 bro Its really not like that..
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okay look at it from this perspective:
you're harry potter your best mate is ron the sister is ginny
they all lived happily ever after
in all seriousness, it's up to your friend note that if you ever break the girl's heart, your relationship with your best friend is also done for.
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How serious can a relationship between a 16 year old and a 14 year old be? I think that's more significant than the fact that it's your friend's sister. Anyway, good luck.
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On July 03 2010 13:08 youngminii wrote: okay look at it from this perspective:
you're harry potter your best mate is ron the sister is ginny
they all lived happily ever after
in all seriousness, it's up to your friend note that if you ever break the girl's heart, your relationship with your best friend is also done for.
Well you proved you aren't the attempted first blog reply troll that i see often lol
I see what you mean, but hearing everyone else's take on things like this interests me.
How serious can a relationship between a 16 year old and a 14 year old be? I think that's more significant than the fact that it's your friend's sister. Anyway, good luck.
My best mate will end up proposing to his current girlfriend next year, they were childhood sweethearts, as were his parents. Serious family.
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Dont fuck it up though, just take it in stride, give it a shot but keep in mind that the outcome can severly detriment your relationship with both as a whole.
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You would NEVER EVER have sex with someone you are in love with?
I mean you say you aren't very physical, more emotional, but unless you are celibate you are contradicting yourself here. Are you really being honest with how you feel about this whole situation?
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On July 03 2010 13:09 Nightmarjoo wrote: How serious can a relationship between a 16 year old and a 14 year old be? I think that's more significant than the fact that it's your friend's sister. Anyway, good luck.
Bingo.
And I think it really depends on who the person is. Like you said, if he's cool with it...then don't even worry about it. Nuff said.
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On July 03 2010 13:12 Turbovolver wrote: You would NEVER EVER have sex with someone you are in love with?
I mean you say you aren't very physical, more emotional, but unless you are celibate you are contradicting yourself here. Are you really being honest with how you feel about this whole situation?
I would never have sex with a 14 year old if thats what you mean. If like her enough to at least wait until its not frowned up so harshly not to mention unlawful (but unenforceable law is unenforceable?)
And yes. I haven't held anything back despite my mate occasionally reading these forums.
Bingo.
And I think it really depends on who the person is. Like you said, if he's cool with it...then don't even worry about it. Nuff said
True, now for the parents!
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Parents shouldn't be that big of a deal if you're as close as you say you are to the family.
They might frown a bit upon her being 14 and in a relationship...my parents were of the "no dating till 16" bullshit..
I messed around with chicks anyways...but that's gonna be your obstacle at this point.
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On July 03 2010 13:13 Mecha_cl wrote: I would never have sex with a 14 year old if thats what you mean. If like her enough to at least wait until its not frowned up so harshly not to mention unlawful (but unenforceable law is unenforceable?)
And yes. I haven't held anything back despite my mate occasionally reading these forums.
Oh, I thought when you said you went off to Year 11/12 and then became friends that you were older than that. I wasn't talking about anything about unlawful sex, just you said your mate shouldn't worry because you wouldn't do anything sexual EVER.
It doesn't matter if you are an emotional guy. You find her attractive (physically as well I'm sure) and want more, right? That's the clincher, that's most likely what your buddy's gonna care about, if he does care about something. What I mean is, saying that it's more emotional than physical will most likely make little difference to your friend.
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On July 03 2010 13:23 Turbovolver wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2010 13:13 Mecha_cl wrote: I would never have sex with a 14 year old if thats what you mean. If like her enough to at least wait until its not frowned up so harshly not to mention unlawful (but unenforceable law is unenforceable?)
And yes. I haven't held anything back despite my mate occasionally reading these forums.
Oh, I thought when you said you went off to Year 11/12 and then became friends that you were older than that. I wasn't talking about anything about unlawful sex, just you said your mate shouldn't worry because you wouldn't do anything sexual EVER. It doesn't matter if you are an emotional guy. You find her attractive (physically as well I'm sure) and want more, right? That's the clincher, that's most likely what your buddy's gonna care about, if he does care about something. What I mean is, saying that it's more emotional than physical will most likely make little difference to your friend.
I definitely know what you mean, but I never rush into that sort of thing, I've gone quite far (when i was younger in my messing around phase) but i've settled down. I had a wild high school and finally i'm starting to get a little more serious. Yeah, she is pretty attractive, and I would like to go there, but I have enough sense not to if you get what I mean.
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settling down? you're 16.
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On July 03 2010 13:32 OpRaider wrote: settling down? you're 16. No binge drinking, weed or cigerettes anymore.
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You and this girl are pretty young right now. Because it's your good friend's sister and because you guys are likely to change, both physically and mentally, I'd say the best thing to do is not to commit yourself to her.
If she happened to be your age, then I'd say you could make more of a move on it, but looking at this objectively from the point of view of an outsider and as someone who is older than you (and with a sister that age as well...), I'd say that the girl is acting this way with you because you are the first actual person she is getting involved with; it's new and exciting for her, but it really could be only just that. As time goes on, you guys are going to continue doing your own things, and because of the two year difference, you guys will always be at relatively different stages in your lives for the next while. Too much investment into this and it's more likely than not, going to end with you guys being with different people, but having awkward situations if you remain friends with her brother.
You're feeling this way, because you, like most people, usually dwell on your first love because of it being the first person you've liked and because you have no other experiences to help you realize that this person isn't going to necessarily be 'the one'. So take it as it is, it's your friend's sister, there is a two year gap, you guys are relatively young, and are most likely going to meet new, interesting people when the other isn't around (which will be quite often because of the age gap). Just become really good friends for now, with the possibility of something in the future. If you guys can overcome all the hurdles and are still really close and attracted after a few years more, then make something out of it. For now, it seems like just puppy love, no offense.
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If she's 14, she has no boobs. What's there to go for?
Also, it's going to happen soon. Believe it or not, emotional relationships become physical very fast. It's only when both parties are shy that it doesn't, but then it's not a very emotional relationship anyway.
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I ususally steer clear of being in a relationship with a friend, because when said relationship ends(as they often do) then sometimes its difficult to mantain that friendship moreso than the normal boy/girlfriend breaks up but are still friends kind of thing.
You are in a relationship with you best friends sisters =P. Dangerous waters i say. Tread carefully bro.
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On July 03 2010 13:35 Masamune wrote: You and this girl are pretty young right now. Because it's your good friend's sister and because you guys are likely to change, both physically and mentally, I'd say the best thing to do is not to commit yourself to her.
If she happened to be your age, then I'd say you could make more of a move on it, but looking at this objectively from the point of view of an outsider and as someone who is older than you (and with a sister that age as well...), I'd say that the girl is acting this way with you because you are the first actual person she is getting involved with; it's new and exciting for her, but it really could be only just that. As time goes on, you guys are going to continue doing your own things, and because of the two year difference, you guys will always be at relatively different stages in your lives for the next while. Too much investment into this and it's more likely than not, going to end with you guys being with different people, but having awkward situations if you remain friends with her brother.
You're feeling this way, because you, like most people, usually dwell on your first love because of it being the first person you've liked and because you have no other experiences to help you realize that this person isn't going to necessarily be 'the one'. So take it as it is, it's your friend's sister, there is a two year gap, you guys are relatively young, and are most likely going to meet new, interesting people when the other isn't around (which will be quite often because of the age gap). Just become really good friends for now, with the possibility of something in the future. If you guys can overcome all the hurdles and are still really close and attracted after a few years more, then make something out of it. For now, it seems like just puppy love, no offense.
More interesting than anything else in this thread, since this was the sort of the thing I was looking for . She has being involved with guys before, but from what i've being told they were airheads armed with social networking who didn't really do anything at all besides gossip.
Funny you mention it, I love her, but I probably loved somebody more (keep in mind I don't know her nearly as well as who im going to mention) who i was with for 18 months. Thats the girl i mentioned way earlier who doesn't want to talk to me anymore in the fear of that happening again, she is the one that got away, not this one i'm pretty sure.
I've thought about it alot, and I realise everyone will be quick to say 'Yeah you're young, you are wired like that' Maybe. But I think you guys underrate that sort of thing, like i said, the family with my best mate and her are notorious for childhood sweethearts etc.
On July 03 2010 13:38 ShadeR wrote: I ususally steer clear of being in a relationship with a friend, because when said relationship ends(as they often do) then sometimes its difficult to mantain that friendship moreso than the normal boy/girlfriend breaks up but are still friends kind of thing.
You are in a relationship with you best friends sisters =P. Dangerous waters i say. Tread carefully bro.
He encourages it, like i said, he knows im a great guy and he'd rather me than some try hard airhead that he thinks he full of shit. to /quote him from memory.
On July 03 2010 13:41 krndandaman wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2010 13:36 youngminii wrote: If she's 14, she has no boobs. What's there to go for?
Also, it's going to happen soon. Believe it or not, emotional relationships become physical very fast. It's only when both parties are shy that it doesn't, but then it's not a very emotional relationship anyway. so very true. and to add to the OP's question, why not? go for it, young love is great! your best mate is alright with it, you're alright with it, she's alright with it She has boobs, and a pretty amazing body, i don't like to brag but that should be mentioned when people assume that. The people who know about this have said 'WTF she is 14? She doesn't look 14 -.-'
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