Hey guys, heres a few things you'll probably want to know about myself in order to correctly see what sort of person I am.
My names Nathan, I'm 16 (but quite mature) and even as a little kid I've always needed the comfort of a close friend thats a girl (Not really a girlfriend at the time, but a different sort of friend). When I hit high school (Which is year 7 - 10 in Australia) I started to go out with a few people, found one person of real interest that we really clicked. She is gone, we still talk but she is having issues but doesn't want to really get too close with me, since she has a boyfriend and is afraid of temptation. I'm a pretty emotional (and not very physical) sort of guy.
I moved school when i went to College (Years 11/12 in Aus) and I quickly made friends, but one guy stood out. We clicked, and soon became best mates. He is a year older than me (like most people in my year), we hanged out, drinked (like alot of teens do), but in some strange sort of moderation. We have lots of fun together and the only thing I think in our way is him joining the military in a few months (special camp for people interested in special forces).
I get along pretty damn well with all his family. I'm basically their second son at the moment, I love staying there because I get along with them alot better than I do with my parents. But heres the thing, I love his sister
For a while I was pretty shocked and having mini-freakouts. I spent time with her, but not really that much. I didn't lead her on or any of that crap guys do at my age (or later on) but things just quickly spun out of control. I wanted to tell him but the only time I had planned to talk to him about it he managed to get in a prang.. while I was at his place spending time with her while he picked a friend up.
He was okay, but in deep shit from his parents. So I couldn't really tell him then, it would have being wrong. I instead took the time I had to talk to her. She didn't say much and the only thing she ever told me was that she was 'confused' (which I can sympathize with.. We all had hard choices at that age).
Now we come to last night, like usual we watched a few movies all together (me, my mate and her) and every-things going normal. She is a little more chirpy than usual and is doing things she usually hides (tickle attacks and other cute shit like that) from him. Obviously he took notice, and I knew that he was going to approach me in private about it.
The following morning we talk about it, being the great guy that he is he confessed he had suspected for a while, but was actually encouraging it because he knew I was a great guy who wouldn't try and take advantage of her or any of that shit.
Besides helping me relieve some stress on this heres my point. Is dating your mates sister really that bad? I don't love her because it's his sister, but becauses its her. She is 2 years younger than me, and thats okay since i'm pretty sure it won't be physical, I would never.. EVER pressure or do that sort of thing.
How serious can a relationship between a 16 year old and a 14 year old be? I think that's more significant than the fact that it's your friend's sister. Anyway, good luck.
On July 03 2010 13:08 youngminii wrote: okay look at it from this perspective:
you're harry potter your best mate is ron the sister is ginny
they all lived happily ever after
in all seriousness, it's up to your friend note that if you ever break the girl's heart, your relationship with your best friend is also done for.
Well you proved you aren't the attempted first blog reply troll that i see often lol
I see what you mean, but hearing everyone else's take on things like this interests me.
How serious can a relationship between a 16 year old and a 14 year old be? I think that's more significant than the fact that it's your friend's sister. Anyway, good luck.
My best mate will end up proposing to his current girlfriend next year, they were childhood sweethearts, as were his parents. Serious family.
Dont fuck it up though, just take it in stride, give it a shot but keep in mind that the outcome can severly detriment your relationship with both as a whole.
You would NEVER EVER have sex with someone you are in love with?
I mean you say you aren't very physical, more emotional, but unless you are celibate you are contradicting yourself here. Are you really being honest with how you feel about this whole situation?
On July 03 2010 13:09 Nightmarjoo wrote: How serious can a relationship between a 16 year old and a 14 year old be? I think that's more significant than the fact that it's your friend's sister. Anyway, good luck.
Bingo.
And I think it really depends on who the person is. Like you said, if he's cool with it...then don't even worry about it. Nuff said.
On July 03 2010 13:12 Turbovolver wrote: You would NEVER EVER have sex with someone you are in love with?
I mean you say you aren't very physical, more emotional, but unless you are celibate you are contradicting yourself here. Are you really being honest with how you feel about this whole situation?
I would never have sex with a 14 year old if thats what you mean. If like her enough to at least wait until its not frowned up so harshly not to mention unlawful (but unenforceable law is unenforceable?)
And yes. I haven't held anything back despite my mate occasionally reading these forums.
Bingo.
And I think it really depends on who the person is. Like you said, if he's cool with it...then don't even worry about it. Nuff said
On July 03 2010 13:13 Mecha_cl wrote: I would never have sex with a 14 year old if thats what you mean. If like her enough to at least wait until its not frowned up so harshly not to mention unlawful (but unenforceable law is unenforceable?)
And yes. I haven't held anything back despite my mate occasionally reading these forums.
Oh, I thought when you said you went off to Year 11/12 and then became friends that you were older than that. I wasn't talking about anything about unlawful sex, just you said your mate shouldn't worry because you wouldn't do anything sexual EVER.
It doesn't matter if you are an emotional guy. You find her attractive (physically as well I'm sure) and want more, right? That's the clincher, that's most likely what your buddy's gonna care about, if he does care about something. What I mean is, saying that it's more emotional than physical will most likely make little difference to your friend.
On July 03 2010 13:13 Mecha_cl wrote: I would never have sex with a 14 year old if thats what you mean. If like her enough to at least wait until its not frowned up so harshly not to mention unlawful (but unenforceable law is unenforceable?)
And yes. I haven't held anything back despite my mate occasionally reading these forums.
Oh, I thought when you said you went off to Year 11/12 and then became friends that you were older than that. I wasn't talking about anything about unlawful sex, just you said your mate shouldn't worry because you wouldn't do anything sexual EVER.
It doesn't matter if you are an emotional guy. You find her attractive (physically as well I'm sure) and want more, right? That's the clincher, that's most likely what your buddy's gonna care about, if he does care about something. What I mean is, saying that it's more emotional than physical will most likely make little difference to your friend.
I definitely know what you mean, but I never rush into that sort of thing, I've gone quite far (when i was younger in my messing around phase) but i've settled down. I had a wild high school and finally i'm starting to get a little more serious. Yeah, she is pretty attractive, and I would like to go there, but I have enough sense not to if you get what I mean.
You and this girl are pretty young right now. Because it's your good friend's sister and because you guys are likely to change, both physically and mentally, I'd say the best thing to do is not to commit yourself to her.
If she happened to be your age, then I'd say you could make more of a move on it, but looking at this objectively from the point of view of an outsider and as someone who is older than you (and with a sister that age as well...), I'd say that the girl is acting this way with you because you are the first actual person she is getting involved with; it's new and exciting for her, but it really could be only just that. As time goes on, you guys are going to continue doing your own things, and because of the two year difference, you guys will always be at relatively different stages in your lives for the next while. Too much investment into this and it's more likely than not, going to end with you guys being with different people, but having awkward situations if you remain friends with her brother.
You're feeling this way, because you, like most people, usually dwell on your first love because of it being the first person you've liked and because you have no other experiences to help you realize that this person isn't going to necessarily be 'the one'. So take it as it is, it's your friend's sister, there is a two year gap, you guys are relatively young, and are most likely going to meet new, interesting people when the other isn't around (which will be quite often because of the age gap). Just become really good friends for now, with the possibility of something in the future. If you guys can overcome all the hurdles and are still really close and attracted after a few years more, then make something out of it. For now, it seems like just puppy love, no offense.
If she's 14, she has no boobs. What's there to go for?
Also, it's going to happen soon. Believe it or not, emotional relationships become physical very fast. It's only when both parties are shy that it doesn't, but then it's not a very emotional relationship anyway.
I ususally steer clear of being in a relationship with a friend, because when said relationship ends(as they often do) then sometimes its difficult to mantain that friendship moreso than the normal boy/girlfriend breaks up but are still friends kind of thing.
You are in a relationship with you best friends sisters =P. Dangerous waters i say. Tread carefully bro.
On July 03 2010 13:35 Masamune wrote: You and this girl are pretty young right now. Because it's your good friend's sister and because you guys are likely to change, both physically and mentally, I'd say the best thing to do is not to commit yourself to her.
If she happened to be your age, then I'd say you could make more of a move on it, but looking at this objectively from the point of view of an outsider and as someone who is older than you (and with a sister that age as well...), I'd say that the girl is acting this way with you because you are the first actual person she is getting involved with; it's new and exciting for her, but it really could be only just that. As time goes on, you guys are going to continue doing your own things, and because of the two year difference, you guys will always be at relatively different stages in your lives for the next while. Too much investment into this and it's more likely than not, going to end with you guys being with different people, but having awkward situations if you remain friends with her brother.
You're feeling this way, because you, like most people, usually dwell on your first love because of it being the first person you've liked and because you have no other experiences to help you realize that this person isn't going to necessarily be 'the one'. So take it as it is, it's your friend's sister, there is a two year gap, you guys are relatively young, and are most likely going to meet new, interesting people when the other isn't around (which will be quite often because of the age gap). Just become really good friends for now, with the possibility of something in the future. If you guys can overcome all the hurdles and are still really close and attracted after a few years more, then make something out of it. For now, it seems like just puppy love, no offense.
More interesting than anything else in this thread, since this was the sort of the thing I was looking for . She has being involved with guys before, but from what i've being told they were airheads armed with social networking who didn't really do anything at all besides gossip.
Funny you mention it, I love her, but I probably loved somebody more (keep in mind I don't know her nearly as well as who im going to mention) who i was with for 18 months. Thats the girl i mentioned way earlier who doesn't want to talk to me anymore in the fear of that happening again, she is the one that got away, not this one i'm pretty sure.
I've thought about it alot, and I realise everyone will be quick to say 'Yeah you're young, you are wired like that' Maybe. But I think you guys underrate that sort of thing, like i said, the family with my best mate and her are notorious for childhood sweethearts etc.
On July 03 2010 13:38 ShadeR wrote: I ususally steer clear of being in a relationship with a friend, because when said relationship ends(as they often do) then sometimes its difficult to mantain that friendship moreso than the normal boy/girlfriend breaks up but are still friends kind of thing.
You are in a relationship with you best friends sisters =P. Dangerous waters i say. Tread carefully bro.
He encourages it, like i said, he knows im a great guy and he'd rather me than some try hard airhead that he thinks he full of shit. to /quote him from memory.
On July 03 2010 13:36 youngminii wrote: If she's 14, she has no boobs. What's there to go for?
Also, it's going to happen soon. Believe it or not, emotional relationships become physical very fast. It's only when both parties are shy that it doesn't, but then it's not a very emotional relationship anyway.
so very true.
and to add to the OP's question, why not? go for it, young love is great! your best mate is alright with it, you're alright with it, she's alright with it
She has boobs, and a pretty amazing body, i don't like to brag but that should be mentioned when people assume that. The people who know about this have said 'WTF she is 14? She doesn't look 14 -.-'
btw, you said that you're mentally mature, but I don't think either of you is really physically mature. When both of you mature physically and finish puberty, your mindset will change, so that's also another reason to not take this too seriously.
Nothing physical? Are you saying you won't kiss/make out with her? That's absolutely bullshit! If you don't want a physical relationship with her then why are you even talking about this? I mean, just be friends. If I "loved" someone (i honestly doubt you can say you are in love with her as opposed to being infatuated) I would want to make her mine. I wouldn't want her to get picked up by some other guy who is willing to take those few steps to actually kiss her.
And you're talking about when it's looked down upon and frowned on. I lost my virginity when I was 13. It was definitely illegal considering my age, and really frowned upon. Actually just looking back on it, I was REALLY young. But that's what kids do. Your balls drop, you have immense amount of hormones running through your body, it's really all you can think about.
And girls really are the same way, as much as a girl wants to say otherwise, they do want physical attention (why else would anyone try to look good for the opposite sex?) She's fourteen, she has tons of estrogen being pumped into her blood, she is craving some attention. She wants to make out with guys, she wants a guy to make her heart beat faster and faster. She wants to feel all warm and fuzzy from a guy.
It's absolutely natural to want to have sex at a very young age. I'm not saying go and fuck her brains out, because I do believe people should wait a little bit longer than I did (so kids don't have sex when you're 13) but I'm saying some physical fun is healthy for both the body and the relationship. It's ok to kiss her until her tongue goes numb. It's ok to share your passion for her.
On July 03 2010 13:41 youngminii wrote: Also, you have to stop throwing around the word love like that.
Love is not something you find after a few weeks/months of knowing a girl.
Funny you mention that, i find it hard to say anything else, saying i like her alot or something similar makes it sound (on the internet at least) that its not serious at all, or i just want her body etc.
she's 14 LOL, don't even think that she understands the first thing about a serious relationship. it's probably a teenage crush. give it a shot but if you expect it to be a happily ever after ending, then you sir are not as mature as you wish to believe.
On July 03 2010 13:44 CaucasianAsian wrote: Nothing physical? Are you saying you won't kiss/make out with her? That's absolutely bullshit! If you don't want a physical relationship with her then why are you even talking about this? I mean, just be friends. If I "loved" someone (i honestly doubt you can say you are in love with her as opposed to being infatuated) I would want to make her mine. I wouldn't want her to get picked up by some other guy who is willing to take those few steps to actually kiss her.
And you're talking about when it's looked down upon and frowned on. I lost my virginity when I was 13. It was definitely illegal considering my age, and really frowned upon. Actually just looking back on it, I was REALLY young. But that's what kids do. Your balls drop, you have immense amount of hormones running through your body, it's really all you can think about.
And girls really are the same way, as much as a girl wants to say otherwise, they do want physical attention (why else would anyone try to look good for the opposite sex?) She's fourteen, she has tons of estrogen being pumped into her blood, she is craving some attention. She wants to make out with guys, she wants a guy to make her heart beat faster and faster. She wants to feel all warm and fuzzy from a guy.
It's absolutely natural to want to have sex at a very young age. I'm not saying go and fuck her brains out, because I do believe people should wait a little bit longer than I did (so kids don't have sex when you're 13) but I'm saying some physical fun is healthy for both the body and the relationship. It's ok to kiss her until her tongue goes numb. It's ok to share your passion for her.
IDK just my 2 cents.
In Australia that means sex. And I had a similar situation with virginity, except I backed out when I thought about it, not because of being scared but I realised I didnt really care about the girl, and I felt it was wrong anyway, I didnt pressure her but I know it would go bad afterward. Nobody i know has an issue with making out with her, and thats okay. Its when things creep towards 3rd base is where I stop and say 'No'
On July 03 2010 13:46 Malgrif wrote: she's 14 LOL, don't even think that she understands the first thing about a serious relationship. it's probably a teenage crush. give it a shot but if you expect it to be a happily ever after ending, then you sir are not as mature as you wish to believe.
I don't expect either a long-term or short-term relationship, because i really don't know at the moment, I think about it but i'm never sure on what happens or am able to make a good prediction. I at least cover all bases and don't avert my eyes from the options.
My names Nathan, I'm 16 (but quite mature) and even as a little kid I've always needed the comfort of a close friend thats a girl (Not really a girlfriend at the time, but a different sort of friend). When I hit high school (Which is year 7 - 10 in Australia) I started to go out with a few people, found one person of real interest that we really clicked. She is gone, we still talk but she is having issues but doesn't want to really get too close with me, since she has a boyfriend and is afraid of temptation. I'm a pretty emotional (and not very physical) sort of guy.
Dude just talk to your friend, tell him what's happening and see what he has to say. If everything's rainbows and smiles, then feel free to get your girl. If your mate says no, you should back off. Simple as that
okay so basically this thread is about a high school relationship (i use this word loosely, it's a 14 year old girl) yet you say you're "quite mature" lmao
you don't know what "love" is if you think anything in high school is love.
On July 03 2010 13:44 CaucasianAsian wrote: Nothing physical? Are you saying you won't kiss/make out with her? That's absolutely bullshit! If you don't want a physical relationship with her then why are you even talking about this? I mean, just be friends. If I "loved" someone (i honestly doubt you can say you are in love with her as opposed to being infatuated) I would want to make her mine. I wouldn't want her to get picked up by some other guy who is willing to take those few steps to actually kiss her.
And you're talking about when it's looked down upon and frowned on. I lost my virginity when I was 13. It was definitely illegal considering my age, and really frowned upon. Actually just looking back on it, I was REALLY young. But that's what kids do. Your balls drop, you have immense amount of hormones running through your body, it's really all you can think about.
And girls really are the same way, as much as a girl wants to say otherwise, they do want physical attention (why else would anyone try to look good for the opposite sex?) She's fourteen, she has tons of estrogen being pumped into her blood, she is craving some attention. She wants to make out with guys, she wants a guy to make her heart beat faster and faster. She wants to feel all warm and fuzzy from a guy.
It's absolutely natural to want to have sex at a very young age. I'm not saying go and fuck her brains out, because I do believe people should wait a little bit longer than I did (so kids don't have sex when you're 13) but I'm saying some physical fun is healthy for both the body and the relationship. It's ok to kiss her until her tongue goes numb. It's ok to share your passion for her.
IDK just my 2 cents.
In Australia that means sex. And I had a similar situation with virginity, except I backed out when I thought about it, not because of being scared but I realised I didnt really care about the girl, and I felt it was wrong anyway, I didnt pressure her but I know it would go bad afterward. Nobody i know has an issue with making out with her, and thats okay. Its when things creep towards 3rd base is where I stop and say 'No'
Do you know how I learned how to swim? I was ten years old (yea that's right I didn't know how to swim until i was 10) and I was at the pool at a friends birthday party, running up and down the side of the pool throwing a ball. Then one of my friends from back then pushed me into the water and I nearly drowned. But I learned that flailing your arms can help keep you afloat and eventually I learned how to float on the water and how to float and swing my arms moving me around the pool.
You won't learn how life will end up if you don't just get in the damn water.
On July 03 2010 13:55 faction123 wrote: okay so basically this thread is about a high school relationship (i use this word loosely, it's a 14 year old girl) yet you say you're "quite mature" lmao
you don't know what "love" is if you think anything in high school is love.
Did you read of all the rest of the post when a few others have mentioned this? 1) It complicates things if i think about using words like 'I like her alot' and other phrases, because it sounds different than how it goes through my head. 2) Like i've said numerous times, i've being forced to think about this sort of thing since her family has a large history of high school sweethearts etc.
in my Junior year, I made out with my friends' sister (1 year younger) at a party. the next day, he punched me in the face in the hallway... most guys don't take too well to that kind of thing
On July 03 2010 14:09 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: in my Junior year, I made out with my friends' sister (1 year younger) at a party. the next day, he punched me in the face in the hallway... most guys don't take too well to that kind of thing
Except I didn't come onto my besties sister Oh, and he understands as well so it helps.
On July 03 2010 14:09 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: in my Junior year, I made out with my friends' sister (1 year younger) at a party. the next day, he punched me in the face in the hallway... most guys don't take too well to that kind of thing
Except I didn't come onto my besties sister Oh, and he understands as well so it helps.
Do you....... Do you actually call him your besty?
Get as much experience with women as you can. Never let an opportunity slip you by. Especially at your age, odds are quite high that you will never see your highschool friends/girlfriends again after first year of college.
Obligatory advice @ 46 seconds:
Edit: Oh yeah. Don't get her pregnant or your life's over. Always wrap the tool.
Disclaimer: I'm assuming that you two hooking up is legal were you live. If not, please disregard this post.
On July 03 2010 14:09 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: in my Junior year, I made out with my friends' sister (1 year younger) at a party. the next day, he punched me in the face in the hallway... most guys don't take too well to that kind of thing
Except I didn't come onto my besties sister Oh, and he understands as well so it helps.
Do you....... Do you actually call him your besty?
Get as much experience with women as you can. Never let an opportunity slip you by. Especially at your age, odds are quite high that you will never see your highschool friends/girlfriends again after first year of college.
On July 03 2010 14:09 [NyC]HoBbes wrote: in my Junior year, I made out with my friends' sister (1 year younger) at a party. the next day, he punched me in the face in the hallway... most guys don't take too well to that kind of thing
Except I didn't come onto my besties sister Oh, and he understands as well so it helps.
Do you....... Do you actually call him your besty?
It's pretty normal at your age. I was in the same situation back in the day and I went for it. Two years younger was perfect for me since when I turned 18 she turned 16 so we could have still had sex legally :D It didn't last even for a year though.
My friend took it pretty well but people made jokes about it all the time. I know quite many guys that dated their friend's sister. Nothing weird about it but you get made fun of alot.
On July 03 2010 14:58 nayumi wrote: awww young love
seriously though, i say go for it. what's wrong with her being your best mate's sis?
To some, its betrayal to the friend To others, its disgusting Generally, its frowned upon. I dont see it that way since i know i'd like her either way.
i really wanna bang my head on the desk everytime i see a blog on tl about stuff like this
is that so wrong, the urge for one star is so strong my friend, so strong
also is it weird that despite the title for the first what 3 paragraphs i thought this was gonna be how you were gay for your friend, or at least this looked like where it was going until the bold part
You seem way to worried about everything. If the time comes to have sex, have sex. And WTF is with this high school sweethearts destiny crap, dont be silly. Ignore all of that stuff and just follow your feelings.
You cant plan life, you also cant live to the morals of someone else. If things feel right to you then go for it (I'm speaking more broadly that sex here).
ok well I can't tell you that this is what's gonna happen, and it wasn't my story first hand but a couple years ago I had a group of 4 best friends and 1 of them was dating the other's sister, and the dude was cool with it... It was all great for them for a while, then they broke up, then they got back together, then they broke up again... then they got back together she got pregnant my friend came back to the country, he was still cool with the dude, then he left again, then they broke up again... haven't bothered asking any of them what's up with the situation cuz I really don't care, but if you're that cool with your bud unless you totally destroy his sister and his family your friendship with him might not be jeopardized... I mean as long as you don't do something assholish on purpose... Every relationship is different and things may or may not work out, but if she's 14 don't expect too much from her... You might be very mature but have you considered you feel that way about her because of how close you guys are to each other? Happened to me quite a few times, never bothered pursuing a relationship... From what I heard these kind of things usually don't work out, specially if she's that young...
Then again you don't come to TL for relationship advice, you come for SC advice and for the intellectual community if you say you love her question yourself about it, seriously doubt yourself and answer yourself why do you love her? If you have answered all of your questions and nothing is preventing you from pursuing the relationship just go with it and blog it Worst case scenario their family won't talk to you again and you get new friends and you'll have an interesting blog on TL.
just wait two years and remind yourself. JAILBAIT (unless its different in aus!!!)
anywho man, if he is your best guy friend then it will be extremely weird after awhile. Imagine coming over watching movies, he would leave or some shit. things will get really awkward if soemthing happens or they will fight cause you did something stupid and hell question you.
Once you hurt her hell probably either get mad or just be whatever. But then coming over to his house would be awkward cause shes there and shell leave (saying you guys break up before she moves out).
On July 03 2010 17:42 OhThatDang wrote: just wait two years and remind yourself. JAILBAIT (unless its different in aus!!!)
anywho man, if he is your best guy friend then it will be extremely weird after awhile. Imagine coming over watching movies, he would leave or some shit. things will get really awkward if soemthing happens or they will fight cause you did something stupid and hell question you.
Once you hurt her hell probably either get mad or just be whatever. But then coming over to his house would be awkward cause shes there and shell leave (saying you guys break up before she moves out).
It's just a tradeoff. If you think it's worth it OP then by all means just go for it. Just think it through first, which you seem to be doing so i think you'll be fine.
On July 03 2010 17:42 OhThatDang wrote: just wait two years and remind yourself. JAILBAIT (unless its different in aus!!!)
anywho man, if he is your best guy friend then it will be extremely weird after awhile. Imagine coming over watching movies, he would leave or some shit. things will get really awkward if soemthing happens or they will fight cause you did something stupid and hell question you.
Once you hurt her hell probably either get mad or just be whatever. But then coming over to his house would be awkward cause shes there and shell leave (saying you guys break up before she moves out).
It's just a tradeoff. If you think it's worth it OP then by all means just go for it. Just think it through first, which you seem to be doing so i think you'll be fine.
Old news, i've mentioned this. Hence why i've said on numerous times i'm not really interested in her like that, its my last priority. Also, its an uninforced law. Only the parents enforce it and usually nothing is done about it unless it was not consensual .
I think you have lucked into a very good situation. This way you can spend time with your friend and gf and they wont feel too awkward with each other once the whole 'im datin ur sis' awkwardness wears off, and by the way you describe his reaction, that shouldnt take very long at all
EPT
if you say you love her question yourself about it, seriously doubt yourself and answer yourself why do you love her? If you have answered all of your questions and nothing is preventing you from pursuing the relationship just go with it and blog it 
