Ass Kick: Courtesy of my University - Page 3
Blogs > EsX_Raptor |
cujo2k
Canada1044 Posts
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Myrkskog
Canada481 Posts
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Chill
Calgary25940 Posts
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Jyvblamo
Canada13788 Posts
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Chill
Calgary25940 Posts
On June 25 2010 07:24 Jyvblamo wrote: The highschool English curriculum in Ontario really doesn't prepare students well for academic writing. I strongly disagree with this. | ||
koreasilver
9109 Posts
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Dance.jhu
United States292 Posts
At first I thought you didn't understand what artificial inteligence (I assumed from the poor writing style that English was not your first language), but: "robots with an artificial intelligence at the human level should be the least of our concerns" convinced me otherwise. Maybe taking a couple of writing or basic English courses wouldn't hurt while you wait to graduate.... Better luck next time. | ||
rushz0rz
Canada5300 Posts
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Dance.jhu
United States292 Posts
On June 25 2010 09:19 rushz0rz wrote: Hey man, I know how you feel. I just bombed my math final. I was so fucking close to an A+ and now I'll probably get a B+ or A-. I know those are good marks, but it just pisses me off knowing how hard I worked and how badly I wanted that A+. hahaha nice troll | ||
Jibba
United States22883 Posts
On the plus side, at least you've still got a big dick. | ||
lac29
United States1485 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
Your text is basically 1: Extremely lengthy opening given the size of the text. 2: Science fiction which has nothing to do with modern AI or anything we can do anytime soon. | ||
GenesisX
Canada4267 Posts
On June 25 2010 09:44 Djzapz wrote: Text is off topic unless you're fantasizing about a distant future. Your text is basically 1: Extremely lengthy opening given the size of the text. 2: Science fiction which has nothing to do with modern AI or anything we can do anytime soon. Took the words out of my mouth! | ||
Spritescaper
United States63 Posts
On June 25 2010 09:19 rushz0rz wrote: Hey man, I know how you feel. I just bombed my math final. I was so fucking close to an A+ and now I'll probably get a B+ or A-. I know those are good marks, but it just pisses me off knowing how hard I worked and how badly I wanted that A+. lol Person A: "Oh man, I bombed my final. I think I'm going to fail!" Person B: "I know EXACTLY how you feel! I'm probably going to walk away with ONLY a A- myself!" Person A: "...." And yeah, I agree that your essay seemed unfocused and incoherent. This is the sort of paper I used to turn in to fool my High School English teachers. I think you know what I mean: a lot of fluff and style, making sweeping remarks like "Mankind has always been this and that" in the form of deep revelations, going off on irrelevant tangents because it sounds nice and has a vague connection to the topic question, etc. I learned the hard way that this sort of writing doesn't hold well with University professors. Be concise. Be direct. Don't write something just because it sounds cool. Make sure that the main point you're attempting to make is clear and explored thoroughly. Seems rather extreme to be withheld from graduating though. You have my sympathies. | ||
bontez
United States165 Posts
Papers with prompts like these are way too subjective for graders to grade based on actual content (Your thoughts and ideas, ie: the possible effects of AI systems in the future). So the only way they can grade is based on a certain rubric system. You just have to give them what they are looking for. State a thesis ("Blah blah i believe that AI systems will/will not bring a significant change in our future.") Then, the most important thing to do is to SUPPORT your claims. In my opinion, just stick to a basic essay structure, such as a thesis paragraph stating your claim (Someone else mentioned, your first paragraph was only 1 sentence... Try to make it at least 4 or 5). Then write your following paragraphs with support. Good luck. | ||
Rev0lution
United States1805 Posts
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Chef
10810 Posts
On June 25 2010 08:06 koreasilver wrote: I dunno, I've read some of my engineering friends' and their engineering friends' mandatory writing class assignments before that were just completely abysmal. I'm not talking about those Asian math geniuses that don't know English that well but people that have been born and raised in Canada their entire life being unable to write coherently. Another high school friend has to edit the shit out of his brother's work when he started university last year because he just has no writing skills. If we look back to high school I'm pretty sure we could all remember people that passed that mandatory language test thing and passed their grade 12 higher English class but still couldn't write if their life depended on it. The literacy test is just 'can you read and write?' It's not a test of skill, but the basic ability to prove you can read and respond (not the finesse with which you do it). My high school made a huge deal of it and even had assemblies to tell us about it, but it's joke. A 6th grader could pass it. Grade 12 English I can assume they're very forgiving because they want you to graduate. It's a bit of a drain of the public school system to make you repeat a year. On the other hand, the university makes money off of you, and has a reputation to uphold (so that their degrees will still hold value). Lots of high school teachers just want to know that you're 'trying' and most people can fake that and those bleeding hearts will think 'oh it's so hard for him, and he's not going to be a writer.' On the other hand, they can be absolute terrorists with giving out A's or even B's. I remember in grade 11 thinking I should just do an apprenticeship for a trade or something because getting back papers with '62%' or whatever on them clearly meant I was stupid. Now I get A's on my essays in university. I think English high school teachers really get trapped in their own little world of what they think writing should be, and if you don't happen to meet that ideal they shit all over your paper with 'awk' scribbles for things most professors think is fine. But then again, it was really just a sour experience with one or two English teachers I had, because I remember liking my grade 9 one. | ||
Fireflies
United Kingdom211 Posts
You could have talked about stuff like AI in cars or would people be willing to allow an AI to drive them around, diagnose their illnesses, what public reaction might be if an AI failed in some way, mass unemployment due to AIs being far more capable than humans or anything really. How did you get from "Write about the possible effects of AI (Artificial Intelligence) systems in the future" to "We will soon be having extra arms or more powerful legs"? I'm not really seeing the link here. | ||
PikaFoO
Australia38 Posts
some tips to work on; some of your language is too colloquial for this type of writing. "To your ancestors back in the day"-- back in the day is an idiom, it is hugely open to interpretation depending on the readers context especially because you addressed the reader with to YOUR structure needs to be improved upon;; Try and have this as a concluding sentence to a paragraph rather than a paragraph on its on so it summarises the point you are trying to make in the paragraph. "Humanity has been changing dramatically over time and the most beautiful reality about it is that we’re not even conscious of it." same with this sentence "But sadly, robots with an artificial intelligence at the human level should be the least of our concerns." You have excellent ideas; but possibly try to focus on a few rather than have many sprawled over the place. I like your essay though; just needs a few touch ups!! Good luck in the future | ||
TaaiJoeng
Hong Kong164 Posts
On June 24 2010 13:42 EsX_Raptor wrote: The test is called the Writing Proficiency Exam though, not the Reading Proficiency one T__T I'm obviously showing that I can write. If they want to punish me for not addressing the question, then they should make a R&WPE or something... ...and yes, I copied the wrong question from their shit-ass list of retarded questions. On the contrary, it shows that you're inadequate at writing. | ||
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