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Ass Kick: Courtesy of my University

Blogs > EsX_Raptor
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EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2801 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-24 04:53:35
June 24 2010 04:26 GMT
#1
I'm in tears right now. Fuck, no matter how manly I like to think I am, I admit it.

My university requires its students to take a writing test called the Writing Proficiency Exam (WPE) which is a mandatory test required for graduation, regardless of one's major.

I took the test late May and just got my grade back: I didn't pass it.

The worst thing is that I was asked to write about computers, which is my field of study (Computer Science major). To me that was a piece of cake and I was the first guy to leave the room that day, with five pages worth of my mind to turn in.

This is what I wrote, if you're interested:

+ Show Spoiler [MY PAPER] +
Write about the possible effects of AI (Artificial Intelligence) systems in the future.

What will be the future of human civilization? That's a question worth pondering over.

Fifty years ago, the notion that daily human life would be greatly defined by the extensive usage of a world-wide communications web, namely the World Wide Web and associated telecommunication entities, was something that didn’t once cross our ancestors’ minds, and if it did, it most likely didn’t go beyond the epoch’s science-fiction notion; what the children back then thought the year 3,000 would look like, yet little did they know these changes were right over the horizon.

Morse code, expensive phone calls, trains, ferries, horses and cars for the upper-middle class were commonplace. Traveling to a different country was a slow, expensive and tedious process; not something you saw very often. International communication was a luxury restricted to certain individuals. It was more often than not performed using Morse code and a noticeable amount of time was needed to get a sentence over to the other end.

To us right now this is a process we aren’t even conscious of anymore; we expect it to be that way and to happen whenever and however we want it to. Instant messaging with a person on the other end of the globe happens in a matter of milliseconds, and if for any reason it starts to bug out, we will find ourselves startled and annoyed on the fact; we expect these things to work flawlessly. Furthermore, international travel happens on a daily basis by the thousands and it has become very possible to visit a different continent over the weekend and be back for class in time the following day.

Humanity has been changing dramatically over time and the most beautiful reality about it is that we’re not even conscious of it.

To your ancestors back in the day, the notion of having an artificial or replacement organ to be surgically embedded into a human being was something worth a big controversy on, whether it being on moral or ethical issues, it was something an enormous number of people considered outrageous. Nowadays, this is common trend and a widely accepted practice all over the world.

The idea of us having artificially “alive” creatures made out of silicon and metal living amongst us in the near future and possibly having their own set of rights, may be something that irks you on the back of the head, yet it will be something that will become part of your everyday life and an accepted norm whether it is against your will or not. This being a current ideology, it is something that is already forming world-wide controversy, much like transplants and artificial organs once were.

But sadly, robots with an artificial intelligence at the human level should be the least of our concerns.

Modern science is currently aiming towards the creation, or “growing” of artificial organs for medical use in the near future; an “organ farm” per se, and they have already been successful in the growing of certain, simple muscles from a single cell, and feeding them sugars.

Science is also aiming towards the creation of various implants, such as the already-common cochlea implant for deaf patients. Work is also being done in the progress of retinal implants for blind patients. But ultimately, implant research will be focusing in the making and development of neural implants, which will allow us to “attach” external, artificial members to our own body much the same way we buy accessories for our computers or cars. We will soon be having extra arms or more powerful legs. Maybe a set of additional eyes and will be able to project ourselves into a robot, or “avatar” on the other side of the world, being able to control them and “feel” them the same way we do when we drive our cars and feel them as being an extension of ourselves.

The future of human life doesn’t revolve around the simple and happy fact that we will be having more stuff to help us do things faster and easier, but it centers itself on the reality that we will, eventually, become the robots themselves.

It is just a matter of time before we start decomposing and formalizing the entire universe we live in whilst using our own, self-made models (such as mathematics and physics). The human drive to fulfill its internal curiosity about how everything around it works will slowly overtake us and get us to a point where we will become omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent.

Possibly leading us to our own end.


I did not know how to stand in front of my parents and tell them that I had failed an exam they were convinced would make it into The Dateline (School's newspaper). I did not know where to run to if it ever happened that my Phy Kappa Phy Honor's Society mentor found out about this idiocy. For the first time in many years, I felt like a total failure. No, let me rephrase: I was made feel like a total failure.

Down the drain go my graduation plans for this Fall as well as the invitations I sent to my relatives in South America to come to my graduation. Especially that of my ninety-four year old grandfather, whom I haven't seen for almost seven years. I now have to put up with the thought of me taking one class during the Spring semester of 2011 to finally get out of this place. All of this, of course, courtesy of my university's useless WPE piece of shit.

/rant

Poll: Did I write a "proficient" paper?

No (75)
 
93%

Yes (6)
 
7%

81 total votes

Your vote: Did I write a "proficient" paper?

(Vote): Yes
(Vote): No



Edit: I fucked up the question they asked me.

*
GreEny K
Profile Joined February 2008
Germany7312 Posts
June 24 2010 04:28 GMT
#2
Dude relax. If this the first paper that you did not pass or are you just pissed because it is mandatory to graduate? I wouldn't make a huge deal about it, when can you retake the test?
Why would you ever choose failure, when success is an option.
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
June 24 2010 04:31 GMT
#3
Is that paper a joke?
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
haduken
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Australia8267 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-24 04:33:53
June 24 2010 04:32 GMT
#4
What's the benchmark for passing? It would be unfair for a humanities professor to grade you considering your major.


I thought the paper is good enough, you might have spelling or grammar mistakes but clearly we understood what you wrote, which imo is all that you need for computer science.

EDIT: I re-read it, honestly you probably didn't put in a serious effort in answer the question and got owned.
Rillanon.au
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
June 24 2010 04:32 GMT
#5
Dude I'm so sorry, that's terrible

but DON'T beat yourself up like that. doing that thing where you pile everything on top of each other until it culminates into one large "everything is going wrong" ball will just plow through you

you can get over this. you could've seen your grandfather any time you wanted, your relatives will understand the change of plans, classes will suck but what're ya gonna do?

It sucks, but just remember that there is more to the road after the speed bump, even if you can't see over it.
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
Fontong
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States6454 Posts
June 24 2010 04:32 GMT
#6
Can't you just go to commencement anyway and just pretend you graduated as a show for your relatives?
[SECRET FONT] "Dragoon bunker"
Apexplayer
Profile Joined September 2009
United States406 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-24 04:33:55
June 24 2010 04:33 GMT
#7
ok well, I just graduated high school. The problem that I see with your paper, however good, is not answering what the original question is.

The topic:
Write about the effects of computerization in modern day's society and yourself.


You start off with:
What will be the future of human civilization? That's a question worth pondering over.


I did read it, what follows does not answer the topic either.
Molybdenum
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States358 Posts
June 24 2010 04:34 GMT
#8
Yeah, just look into retaking it.

However, when reading though it, you didn't really talk about the computerization of society and the effects. I would interpret it literally as computers, not artificial organs, math and physics, science, or much of anything else, but computers. You brushed on it in the first paragraph with the web, but never really came back to actual computers doing the things they do now. You looked into the future, rather than talked about what society is like today.
QuakerOats
Profile Joined April 2009
United States1024 Posts
June 24 2010 04:34 GMT
#9
No offense, but that's pretty poorly written and doesn't really address the question too well...
pkm_trnr
Profile Joined May 2010
9 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-24 04:35:40
June 24 2010 04:34 GMT
#10
Science is also aiming towards the creation of various implants, such as the already-common cochlea implant for deaf patients. Work is also being done in the progress of retinal implants for blind patients.


don't go 'also, also, also, also' like that. there are other things but that's the first thing that came to mind.

i wouldn't worry about it to much, it's one more class. sure it's a kick in the balls to have to tell your family but shit happens.

also you focused to much on science rather than computers. you grazed the topic briefly then shot off in a different direction.
Two_DoWn
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States13684 Posts
June 24 2010 04:35 GMT
#11
On June 24 2010 13:33 Apexplayer wrote:
ok well, I just graduated high school. The problem that I see with your paper, however good, is not answering what the original question is.

The topic:
Show nested quote +
Write about the effects of computerization in modern day's society and yourself.


You start off with:
Show nested quote +
What will be the future of human civilization? That's a question worth pondering over.


I did read it, what follows does not answer the topic either.

This is pretty much it. As much as it sucks that you didnt pass, and trust me, I feel for you, you didnt answer the question. There is a fairly large gap between computerization and claiming that we will all become robots.
"What is the air speed velocity of an unladen courier?" "Dire or Radiant?"
Mindcrime
Profile Joined July 2004
United States6899 Posts
June 24 2010 04:36 GMT
#12
It is just a matter of time before we start decomposing and formalizing the entire universe we live in whilst using our own, self-made models (such as mathematics and physics). The human drive to fulfill its internal curiosity about how everything around it works will slowly overtake us and get us to a point where we will become omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent.


I feel for you, but that is an outlandish prediction.
That wasn't any act of God. That was an act of pure human fuckery.
deL
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Australia5540 Posts
June 24 2010 04:36 GMT
#13
You obviously just took it for granted that you'd pass and didn't prepare. You will ace it next time.
Gaming videos for fun ~ http://www.youtube.com/user/WijLopenLos
Thegilaboy
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States2018 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-24 04:39:28
June 24 2010 04:37 GMT
#14
Wait did you change the question there? It says AI now, but before it definitely was asking about computerization.

Cause yeah, you didn't really answer the question man. So the paper wasn't proficient in that regard at all. Also your first paragraph:

Fifty years ago, the notion that daily human life would be greatly defined by the extensive usage of a world-wide communications web, namely the World Wide Web and associated telecommunication entities, was something that didn’t once cross our ancestors’ minds, and if it did, it most likely didn’t go beyond the epoch’s science-fiction notion; what the children back then thought the year 3,000 would look like, yet little did they know these changes were right over the horizon.

Is all one sentence, with a semi colon near the end to try and break it up.
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-24 04:41:26
June 24 2010 04:40 GMT
#15
On June 24 2010 13:32 haduken wrote:
What's the benchmark for passing? It would be unfair for a humanities professor to grade you considering your major.


I thought the paper is good enough, you might have spelling or grammar mistakes but clearly we understood what you wrote, which imo is all that you need for computer science.

EDIT: I re-read it, honestly you probably didn't put in a serious effort in answer the question and got owned.

The problem was that he didn't answer the question, he didn't have a thesis, and he didn't back up any of his claims. He just kind of spouted science fiction cliches and called it a day.

What was the grader supposed to do? Be more careful next time, plan out a few points, and then write. It's a hard lesson you should have learned a long time ago, but better now than when you've got a job and you could get fired.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
TheAntZ
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Israel6248 Posts
June 24 2010 04:40 GMT
#16
oh man, i feel ya. its devastating to underestimate some aspect of college work and then have it come back and rape you . I wont let it happen to me again though, and neither should you!
43084 | Honeybadger: "So july, you're in the GSL finals. How do you feel?!" ~ July: "HUNGRY."
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-06-24 04:42:31
June 24 2010 04:41 GMT
#17
Ya several problems:

1) didn't actually answer the question
2) there was no thesis or central plan
3) pretty basic vocabulary and use of filler words like "also"
4) other grammatical errors, comma usage, etc.
5) asking rhetorical questions, using the word "you" - are oftentimes frowned upon in formal essays (this is a bit more subjective though)
6) you had a few random one sentence paragraphs that seemed out of place

twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2801 Posts
June 24 2010 04:42 GMT
#18
The test is called the Writing Proficiency Exam though, not the Reading Proficiency one T__T

I'm obviously showing that I can write. If they want to punish me for not addressing the question, then they should make a R&WPE or something...

...and yes, I copied the wrong question from their shit-ass list of retarded questions.
decafchicken
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States20022 Posts
June 24 2010 04:43 GMT
#19
you didn't even come close to answering the question, nor did you have a well structured paper in the slightest T_T
how reasonable is it to eat off wood instead of your tummy?
Polar_Nada
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States1548 Posts
June 24 2010 04:46 GMT
#20
heh, well hope u graduate soon enough. whats past is past,u just gotta move on
[ReD]NaDa and fnaticMSI.SEn fighting~! ::POlar @ UC Irvine::
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