EPTHow old is your sister? Cause at a certain age she should be able to make her own rational decisions and I assume you're concerned because, of course, she might grow up believing that stuff up until she's a lot older. I guess what you could do is just talk to her about it once in a while? It doesn't seem like you need to fully put down what her parents teach her but just nudge yourself in there a bit.
A few family issues - Page 2
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BanZu
United States3329 Posts
How old is your sister? Cause at a certain age she should be able to make her own rational decisions and I assume you're concerned because, of course, she might grow up believing that stuff up until she's a lot older. I guess what you could do is just talk to her about it once in a while? It doesn't seem like you need to fully put down what her parents teach her but just nudge yourself in there a bit. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On January 12 2010 09:45 mucker wrote: As teenagers get older they tend to pull away from parents' views and explore a bit, especially if the parents have really strong views. If you do too much and cause trouble between her and your uncle you may end up in a situation where you aren't welcome in the home. Just staying in here life and being ready to offer an alternative perspective when she has questions. As far as activities... maybe get her a head start on a poker career? That's exactly why I'd rather influence her way of thinking than her specific beliefs. If I told her "jesus is a lie" and she told that to her Uncle, I wouldn't be welcome. If I told her "beliefs must be backed up by scientific evidence" that's another story. | ||
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JohnColtrane
Australia4813 Posts
then teach her martial arts so she can execute her nutbag parents. pokemon was the fucking biz when i was in year 3 or something, i played red version all day. anybody who thinks pokemon or w/e is sorcery should be taken out and shot | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On January 12 2010 09:46 DyEnasTy wrote: Just ask her what she wants to do. Me: "I'm bored, what do you wanna do" Sister: "Yeah I'm bored too, I dunno you think of something" and vice-versa ad infinitum | ||
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akevin
Canada120 Posts
On January 12 2010 09:47 Slaughter wrote: Wow ive never met people like that but ive heard about them. Such a contrast to my family where they are highly christian but are so moderate and understanding. I would say to just tell her to think for herself and to not take everything they say as truths. If you get too involved you could end up getting banished from visiting (sounds like your aunt/uncle are the type to do that). Just work with her here and there on things and try to give her a way to broader knowlage that she can explore so she doesn't have only one source of information. Just tread carefully coming on too strong would just create this polar relationship where she has them saying one thing and you another which would create a lot of confusion. Yea its true, you don't want to get booted out of her life so you have to be careful. And thankfully I've never met people like this either. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On January 12 2010 09:49 JohnColtrane wrote: give her books or take her to see some science exhibitions or talk to biology experts or w/e then teach her martial arts so she can execute her nutbag parents. pokemon was the fucking biz when i was in year 3 or something, i played red version all day. anybody who thinks pokemon or w/e is sorcery should be taken out and shot I thought about maybe giving her a book about biology/science or watching a documentary on evolution with her or something like that. It would start discussion and it wouldn't make me seem too pushy | ||
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Beside_kr
Canada902 Posts
Also, I encourage you to try and reverse some of the indoctrination, but be careful. I don't imagine you're aunt and uncle will be happy if she repeats what you say to them. Good luck man, I'm pulling for you. | ||
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unit
United States2621 Posts
On January 12 2010 09:46 DoctorHelvetica wrote: She wants to be a chef, but her dad won't "allow" it since Chef's don't make enough money. this guy is officially 100% bullshit in my book being a chef is an awesome goal ^___^ | ||
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FreeDoM[YA]
Canada855 Posts
On January 12 2010 09:30 killanator wrote: As a christian, I do hate people like that. I mean it really doesn't help anyone, it just makes the people look like idiots and puts a bad image on all christians. Its a shame some people feel thats what they should do. I agree 100% here. | ||
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DoctorHelvetica
United States15034 Posts
On January 12 2010 09:52 Beside_kr wrote: do you listen to music DoctorHelvetica? I know that me and my sister bonded over that. I didn't really know her when I was younger because we went to different schools and she was in the hospital a bunch so it was awkward but I bought Since I Left You and put it on while we were studying and it became what we talked about all the time, we tried all different genres of music; it was a lot of fun. Not everyone is into music though, especially at that age and I don't know if that's what you're into either. Also, I encourage you to try and reverse some of the indoctrination, but be careful. I don't imagine you're aunt and uncle will be happy if she repeats what you say to them. Good luck man, I'm pulling for you. She wouldn't be like "OH HEY CHRIS TOLDME THIS AND THIS AND THIS AND THIS" I know it'll come up eventually that I'm an atheist, the household being the way it is I can't hide it forever. I'd rather choose a time to let it out when it won't be a huge ordeal. | ||
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7mk
Germany10156 Posts
...or whatever music you like + Show Spoiler + please no KPop | ||
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Kouda
United States2205 Posts
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butter
United States785 Posts
You can start by just exposing her to some awesome things produced by other cultures. Then progress from artifacts to behaviors. Ideally this would involve meeting normal but cool people who happen to believe in crazy shit like that the universe is infinite and made out of tiny spontaneously interacting particles or that people get reincarnated as squirrels, etc. | ||
Xxio
Canada5565 Posts
Get her to watch anime? I find that most of the time the activity itself isn't what's important, it's just something to do while you talk, so you could do anything really, like cook meals together or go to a movie, watch tv shows, just walk around, and conversation will start naturally. Talk to her about what you're interested in and find out what she finds interesting. I like how you're taking this seriously, I would if I were you. I'm the youngest in my family but I've always thought of helping a younger sibling learn about the world and how much fun/important it can be. Also, you can suggest to her cool stuff to look at, things she might not know. Maybe TED.com, or Digg, just basic stuff like that. Though, I guess you don't want to get into trouble if she sees something on there that her 'parents' disapprove of. Anyways, good luck! About her being a Chef, even if her 'Dad' doesn't want that for her you can still support her by showing her cool recipes and learning to cook together to perpetuate her interest. | ||
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kaisr
Canada715 Posts
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banana
Netherlands1189 Posts
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airtown
United States410 Posts
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MountainDewJunkie
United States10340 Posts
On January 12 2010 09:43 DoctorHelvetica wrote: He feels that way about Pokemon and Harry Potter. he was disgusted when I was 12 and had some yugioh cards and told me not to show my sister that "sorcery" You have great self-control, because honest to Moses, I'd completely fly off the handle if someone said bullshit like that to me. I'm actually laughing as I type this because I'm so mad just thinking about these kinds of people... I would have said, "Hey, Jesus was basically the greatest magician ever born, why all the hate?" Yeah, look, I was raised in a super-religious, super-conservative household. As an example, my friends were uncomfortable being in my house because of all the pictures and statues of Jesus... heh. Anyway, I don't remember any particular event, but I remember questioning and doubting a lot of what I was told ever since I was eleven, I would often ask 'those' questions to my teachers and bishop. Anyway, my goal wasn't to give you my life story; but it's important to know that just because you're bombarded with bullshit, it doesn't mean you're doomed to be "brainwashed." Skepticism is natural and logical. Your sister will eventually have a moment of "weakness' (as the crazy people say) where she looks he beliefs objectively and begins to wonder. Your fear is that she will supress these doubts and revert to the programming that was put in place by your aunt and uncle. That's rough, but it's not something that you can fully prevent. The best thing you can do is let her know is if she ever has any question about matters like this, or anything at all, that she doesn't want to talk with the guardians about, you're the first person she can turn to. A well advertised open door is very useful to bringing alternative viewpoints to others. Don't worry too much over it. If she trusts you, she'll come to you. You'll just have to wait this one out. Oh and fossils were put on Earth to test our faith, how dare thee; or, as my parents believe, the Earth is made up by debris of other planets that had collided, and so those fossils are really alien fossils (o.O), and though they, and the encasing minerals, are dated to be billions of years old, the Earth itself has only been in this form for 6000 years... Hilariously convenient, am I right? | ||
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
as for the religious problem: I understand you see her getting indoctrinated and you do not like it. I understand you want to intercede but chances are you will do more harm than good. If you directly compete you will force her to be in the middle. If you subtly try to suggest the competitive mode of thought you are as bad as they are. It is tough when people are raised in hardcore X households but it isn't our place to decide to "free" them or "arm" them with the "superior knowledge." If she asks you questions answer them honestly. If she wants to know about your belief system share. But don't plot to control her thoughts or beliefs through direct or indirect methods. | ||
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zekie
Canada380 Posts
in my experience i've always found it best to follow my heart and not care what other people think. i wish i learned that when i was 13 ^ | ||
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