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About a week ago, one of my friends posted an event thing on facebook for his upcoming birthday celebration. He invited a group of friends, myself included. We're the same group that always gets together whenever one of us has a birthday or decides to arrange a get-together. And we've all been friends since our high school years (we graduated high school in 2008).
The date for this birthday celebration was supposed to be Nov 26, and it would take place at Dave & Busters. We all posted on his event page on facebook: "yeah that sounds good!" "I'll be there" "what's a dave and busters?"
Everything was going as planned. Well, until I logged on facebook last night. Turns out, it actually took place yesterday, a day before it was scheduled to. How did I find out? I saw the pictures that one of my friends uploaded. They were all there.. except me.
Turn back the time to Friday, November 25. I was at the mall, since my mom and sister wanted me to take them for Black Friday shopping. I wasn't there the whole day, it was only from about 11 am to 4 pm. During that whole time, and the rest of the day, I didn't receive a single text or phone call from any of my friends to tell me that they were meeting up this night instead of Saturday.
Did they genuinely forget to tell me? How does that even happen? There haven't been any conflicts or issues between me and any of them. Hell, one of the people in my group is my own cousin and we talk about a lot of things.
I just don't know how I should feel about this situation.
 
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^_^ you should call them up and ask what happened. And Clears away all misunderstandings right away asap.
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Yeah this sounds painful. However, I doubt they were expressly trying to exclude you by not informinf you of the change, because you WERE invited in the first place. If you weren't wanted there to begin with, you probably wouldn't have been invited at all. That said, you should bring this up with one of them who you trust to give you a straight answer, and ask what's up. I feel like it's too early to jump to any conclusions, but this shouldn't be entirely ignored either.
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You can look at it as they ditched you, but if you step back and look at it from their view; maybe they genuinely thought you knew, and just didnt show up.. Therefor, instead of texting/calling to bug you, they might be thinking "Oh he ditched us, why should we bother bugging him" - so don't jump to conclusions until talking to them.
It sucks but eh it happens. im sure it was a misunderstanding
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there was a blog about this earlier... that awkward moment on facebook or something.
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Maybe you should, you know, talk to your friends....
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Well, to put it simply, since it's the first time, don't make a big deal about it. It happened, it's over, don't dwell on it and let it go.
I think it would also be kind of weird to ask them upfront why none of them even bothered to look for you or ask where you were.
If it happens repeatedly then maybe you are on to something. Right now, when you are making it an issue (internally) you may just end up viewing whatever reason they tell you as an excuse anyway so it won't really matter/amount to anything.
Just my 2 cents.
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Call them up and "ask them if they're still going tonight." Then you won't have to directly ask why it was yesterday
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Netherlands4652 Posts
I can imagine you feel pwned, Pwned.
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On November 27 2011 01:20 awu25 wrote:
Call them up and "ask them if they're still going tonight." Then you won't have to directly ask why it was yesterday
I feel like this is a worse approach than just asking directly. Maybe they <insert excuse here>. No reason to assume anything. It sucks that you missed out, but don't be sneaky about it.
...imo.
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On November 27 2011 01:10 0123456789 wrote:
^_^ you should call them up and ask what happened. And Clears away all misunderstandings right away asap.
On November 27 2011 01:13 Imperium11 wrote:
Yeah this sounds painful. However, I doubt they were expressly trying to exclude you by not informinf you of the change, because you WERE invited in the first place. If you weren't wanted there to begin with, you probably wouldn't have been invited at all. That said, you should bring this up with one of them who you trust to give you a straight answer, and ask what's up. I feel like it's too early to jump to any conclusions, but this shouldn't be entirely ignored either.
On November 27 2011 01:16 sob3k wrote:
Maybe you should, you know, talk to your friends....
Yeah I plan to. I'll ask my cousin since I know he'll tell me the truth.
On November 27 2011 01:13 Snowen wrote:
You can look at it as they ditched you, but if you step back and look at it from their view; maybe they genuinely thought you knew, and just didnt show up.. Therefor, instead of texting/calling to bug you, they might be thinking "Oh he ditched us, why should we bother bugging him" - so don't jump to conclusions until talking to them.
It sucks but eh it happens. im sure it was a misunderstanding
I'm also under the impression that it was just a misunderstanding. We've been friends for about 5 or 6 years and this is the first time something like this has happened.
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i think your OP title/question is interesting though,..it brings some sort of questioning into things, but nothing more than a 'what actually happened?' sort of thing, since you are actually so tight with your friend.
i guess..if they really wanted you there, people would make sure that you got there---though it's different for every group of friends.
so the bottom line is... no worries man, make up for all of it on your own birthday ^ ^
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Let us know what happened bro!
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Sounds like a misunderstanding to me. If you talk to them I'm sure they'll say something along the lines of "oh shit sorry ;_;". Still a bit strange that no one called you when you didn't show up though.
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You're overthinking it. They forgot/were preoccupied partying/thought you were coming.
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Pretty sure they all assumed you knew/forgot they didnt tell you if youre as close as you say you guys are.
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If they really wanted you there, they'd have noticed you were there and called you. Not sure what to make of it. Since it was the 25th maybe they thought you were spending time with your family.
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Well my honest opinion is that none of them care about you too much. I'm sure it wasn't done on purpose but someone (at least) should have realized you weren't there and sent you a text or whatever. It's not like they are trying to ditch you, it's more like none of them thinks of you as their "top friend". Or maybe they were up to something you don't approve? Orrrr maybe they just got completely smashed super fast which makes guys only think about tits ^_^
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Well as your username states, pwned!  (((
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Norway28521 Posts
if you've been friends with them for 5-6 years, this has never happened before, and no recent events have made you think that they somehow like you less than before, then you should basically just stop thinking about it and trying to read something into this whole thing.
here is my impression of what most likely happened: 1 guy took responsibility for telling you. he forgot. they were drinking. at some point someone realized that you weren't there. upon realizing this, the person asks out, "hey bros, wheres Paul Weend"? (this is your name). the main jerkface responsible for contacting you, goes "oh FUCK GOD damn IT FUCK I forgot" and the crowd laughs a merry laugh because they're slightly intocixated and even if stuff isn't actually funny, it is to them. by then, the party is well underway and in a five second period of not too coherent thinking, they conclude that it's slightly too late to contact you now, because you don't live right next to dave and buster's and it'd take you so long to get there, that they'd be pretty out there and your sober face would feel misplaced. perhaps someone started texting you, but was distracted by a funny anecdote about how this one time, your other friend Nicholas sharted himself in class, and how his facial expression post-shart was forever engraved in each and every mind of each and every classmate. after this, your friends did turns trying to mimic the face - Brian did the best job, because he has a well known talent for facial mimicry. the person who started texting then did not check his phone again for another two hours - and then concluded that, oh fuck guess it's too late to even text him now.
collectively and without having to discuss it, your friends essentially decided to postpone dealing with the problem of you finding out that you were forgotten, until it was deemed a natural course of action, and not something anyone would have to consciously "do". e.g., the next time you meet your friends, one of them will say "yo bro paul, sorry about the mixup man I forgot to tell you the birthday was moved forward one day and then when I remembered it was just too late." and then others will chime in to say "yea man sucks you weren't there but it was a blast anyway haha" and that will be the extent of your future conversation on this topic. Unless, of course, you're not content with this, but not letting go after this happens, would honestly be kinda whiny.
good luck in all your future endeavours and god speed.
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EPT
