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On October 06 2011 06:29 Geordie wrote:Show nested quote +On October 06 2011 06:25 Synwave wrote:On October 06 2011 06:12 Geordie wrote:On October 06 2011 06:10 Synwave wrote: Threads like this are why I regret clicking blogs sometimes. Then again some of the best threads are in blogs. Conundrum! I dont really care what you think, you obviously have a lot of time on your hands if you feel the need to comment on every blog you do not approve of. I didnt write this just for you. Actually I don't, I just randomly clicked this but your acceptance of seating charts pretty much sums up my point. Oh and the fact that you blog this to get opinions shows you care. I care for you too <3 Probably not in the way you care for me though Well let me correct that, I dont care about the opinion of people like you who sit their thinking that every blog must tailored towards your needs or something... if you dont like the blog I guess just dont comment? Ah so you want only positive comments. Got it, sorry about that this will be my last in yours
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Hello my fellow dick,
I few years ago there was this group of girls, one girl (lets call her Jenifer) ventured from that group and found a new group. For simplicity we will call the first group of girls the ugly losers group, group two we shall call the hot preppy smart nice group.Now I consider myself an above average for looks but unfortunately a bit shy and a little below average book smart..
Anyways, I am walking in the hall way and over hear girls from the ugly losers group talking about their former friend Jenifer, so being the nice guy I am, I decide to inform Jenifer that they were talking crap to her when I got to class. I few minutes later after informing her, she starts balling her eyes out. Apparently I'm a dick for telling her that her former friends were talking shit.
It's a cruel world. College/Uni will be much better. gl hf
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On October 06 2011 06:31 Synwave wrote:Show nested quote +On October 06 2011 06:29 Geordie wrote:On October 06 2011 06:25 Synwave wrote:On October 06 2011 06:12 Geordie wrote:On October 06 2011 06:10 Synwave wrote: Threads like this are why I regret clicking blogs sometimes. Then again some of the best threads are in blogs. Conundrum! I dont really care what you think, you obviously have a lot of time on your hands if you feel the need to comment on every blog you do not approve of. I didnt write this just for you. Actually I don't, I just randomly clicked this but your acceptance of seating charts pretty much sums up my point. Oh and the fact that you blog this to get opinions shows you care. I care for you too <3 Probably not in the way you care for me though Well let me correct that, I dont care about the opinion of people like you who sit their thinking that every blog must tailored towards your needs or something... if you dont like the blog I guess just dont comment? Ah so you want only positive comments. Got it, sorry about that this will be my last in yours And nothing of value was lost
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You guys are freaking terrible. I was hoping for some arms and limbs to be broken.
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It's a fine balancing act with women with how much of an "ass" you have to be. Usually being a dick to girls demonstrates that you are in control of your interactions with them to the utmost degree. I'll elaborate.
- It's not a good idea to be straight up mean to them. Bullshitting and teasing are fine but being a blatant (name-calling) asshole does you no good (most of the time).
- To expand on teasing, it's not a bad thing to poke fun at women, for you it demonstrates that she is not important to you, which attracts you more to her. Why is this? Because it subtly proves that you can get other women, since you don't seem to care about her (especially if she's pretty), therefore it establishes you as a high status individual in her mind, that other girls are dying to spend their time with.
- Sometimes when you're flirting with a girl they'll put themselves on a pedestal to see if you'll kiss up to them and do the same. This is where being an "asshole" works quite well in the seduction phase. I'll provide an experience of my own for clarification.
Here's the context of the situation:
I'm walking along in my university's memorial union, when I spot a girl I know. I see her talking to some of her friends, so I figure I'll go see whats up with her. We hit it off fine, and she introduces me to all of her friends on the table. I noticed one of them eying me up as I was walking over, so I engage her in conversation. We start with the usual small talk, etc.. when the conversation comes to this:
Me: "So have you picked a major yet?" Her: "Women's Studies and French." Me: "Interesting... ( I pause here) you like 'em?" Her: "Yes! And when I'm making milllionsss of dollars, It'll be even better." (She delivered this last sentence in a pompous manner.) Me: (In a moderately scornful tone) Huh, I had no idea the streetcorners of Paris paid that well.
Her girlfriends had a laugh at the one-liner and even she cracked a smile. The conversation carried on from there and I got her number before I left for home.
Notice on how being insulting worked well here, it typically works extremely well when girls (especially hot ones) pedestal themselves and you shoot em down. This helps you build high-status which makes the girls chase you, which is what you want, because a man with options builds even more attraction in the female mind. Why does this establish a high status in the female mind? It indirectly proves to the girl that you will not be manipulated by her emotional ploys, which girls love in guys. They love guys who are in control of their emotions and wear the proverbial pants in a relationship (Crazy feminists are the exception to this rule, and they're probably not worth your time anyways.)
It indirectly proves to the girl that you will not be manipulated by her emotional ploys
Now this is where some people consider being a dick a bad thing for relationships (and it can be for a serious GF/BF husband/wife deal if you're not careful with it). To others you may seem heartless, or psychotic to some degree.
Consider your girlfriend / FWB / Current Fling / whatever crying her eyes out over something that most guys would consider silly. (IE car accident). This is where being a "dick" is somewhat imperative. Showing that you won't be manipulated by her when she's in her crying state may come off as being inconsiderate/dick etc. The reason its important to do this is to show her that you're in control here, and that she won't get much sympathy out of you over something that's not a big deal. Her girlfriends will probably call you an ass, her guy friends may ask "What the fuck's wrong with you?" but at the end of the day if you're not overtly mean to her in a situation like this, and she has even a small degree of attraction to you, she'll come flying back to you.
Once she has her emotions back under control, she'll be worried that you're mad at her, and that's when you swoop in and say "It's in the past now, don't sweat it." Ta-da! You've demonstrated your high masculine value by keeping your composure in a situation where most guys would give her a hug and reassure her (and get automatically friend-zoned for their troubles). This works wonders on... you guessed it hot girls.
I'd like to summarize a few things about asshole "game" that I've covered.
- The hotter the chick, generally the more of an aloof asshole you need to be to build the initial attraction, if you can get her into the long term relationship stage, then a little bit of the nice guy has to come out to keep her around. - Asshole game is not about being overt, it's about being subtle, mischievous, and controlling. Women are not straightforward when it comes to flirting and dating, they like mystery so that they can assume the best in the man they lust for.
In conclusion, being an asshole works, you just have to play your cards right.
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Tell a girl everything. How you used to be a prick because you felt insecure, but that you feel at ease with her and you hope she'll forgive your past.
Or just fuck her, you're an asshole. This romantic relationship bs is like work; sit down for a bit and have some beers, the feeling will go away.
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It kinda sounds like karma took a swing at you with a baseball bat. And to be very honest with you, reading this blog and the responses kinda gives me the feeling that you really are kind of a dick
Your situation is understandable though. Teen years are filled with needs and desires that somehow always seem to conflict with eachother. Being friends with "those guys" and dating "that girl" can become mission impossible because of some perceived social differences between both parties (to give an incredibly vague example). And once you have created an identity for yourself it can be hard to break away from it. First impressions matter a lot.
I agree with what Fearless said and believe that if you really want to see things change you have to start with yourself. You can start with this very thread actually. All the critique that people give you in here (warranted, unwarranted and all the obvious trolling) are simply reactions that people have as a first impression of you. Acknowledge the critique, apologize for the inapropriate things you said, even if you don't agree with apologizing, and try to keep a positive attitude
About the "asshole game" that Pillage talked about; I'd advise you to NOT go that road. It is not something you can keep up with a girl for a prolonged period of time and eventually it WILL destroy your relationship (if you can actually speak of a relationship at that point). I'm not saying that it doesn't work at all, I'm saying it won't work for you. You wont attract a girl who already thinks you're a dick by being less of a dick. You'll have to do a 180 from where you are now. There is no harm in being confident and playful once the girl(s) know that you are actually a nice guy.
Oh, and all self help and pickup tricks aside; Just about any girl wants a guy that can make her feel good about herself. Confidence rubs off, an ego puts off
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About the "asshole game" that Pillage talked about; I'd advise you to NOT go that road. It is not something you can keep up with a girl for a prolonged period of time and eventually it WILL destroy your relationship (if you can actually speak of a relationship at that point). I'm not saying that it doesn't work at all, I'm saying it won't work for you. You wont attract a girl who already thinks you're a dick by being less of a dick. You'll have to do a 180 from where you are now. There is no harm in being confident and playful once the girl(s) know that you are actually a nice guy.
Yeah I mentioned this already. I guess I should have elaborated more. It's great for attracting hot, bitchy chicks, as well as picking up lots of one night stands. It's good at building initial attraction, but you need to throw some nice guy game in there to keep her around for awhile, else she will grow weary of your shenanigans. It all depends on your goals however, OP.
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On October 06 2011 09:05 Pillage wrote:Show nested quote +About the "asshole game" that Pillage talked about; I'd advise you to NOT go that road. It is not something you can keep up with a girl for a prolonged period of time and eventually it WILL destroy your relationship (if you can actually speak of a relationship at that point). I'm not saying that it doesn't work at all, I'm saying it won't work for you. You wont attract a girl who already thinks you're a dick by being less of a dick. You'll have to do a 180 from where you are now. There is no harm in being confident and playful once the girl(s) know that you are actually a nice guy. Yeah I mentioned this already. I guess I should have elaborated more. It's great for attracting hot, bitchy chicks, as well as picking up lots of one night stands. It's good at building initial attraction, but you need to throw some nice guy game in there to keep her around for awhile, else she will grow weary of your shenanigans. It all depends on your goals however, OP.
I understand your point of view, but from reading the OP I'm assuming that the girls the OP usually interacts with all have already formed an opinion about him. At least, that is what he makes it out to be. That combined with his learned behaviour towards people makes it a lot harder pull through with that method I think. Ofcourse he might have succes with it, but I think he'd have to go through a few more steps beforehand to put him in a position that makes your method worthwhile.
I guess what I'm saying is that from my viewpoint the girls the OP wants to interact with have formed a negative opinion about him which puts him at a considerable social disadvantage. A disadvantage that requires some change from his part. He needs to show that good side sooner rather than later.
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On October 06 2011 09:05 Pillage wrote:Show nested quote +About the "asshole game" that Pillage talked about; I'd advise you to NOT go that road. It is not something you can keep up with a girl for a prolonged period of time and eventually it WILL destroy your relationship (if you can actually speak of a relationship at that point). I'm not saying that it doesn't work at all, I'm saying it won't work for you. You wont attract a girl who already thinks you're a dick by being less of a dick. You'll have to do a 180 from where you are now. There is no harm in being confident and playful once the girl(s) know that you are actually a nice guy. Yeah I mentioned this already. I guess I should have elaborated more. It's great for attracting hot, bitchy chicks, as well as picking up lots of one night stands. It's good at building initial attraction, but you need to throw some nice guy game in there to keep her around for awhile, else she will grow weary of your shenanigans. It all depends on your goals however, OP.
It also works better past high school, which is really where he sounds like he's at. There's only a handful of guys that will work out for at that age range, it's somewhat better with college age girls, and starts to drop off after that, since once they hit about 25-26, you don't need to play as many stupid games.
If it stays difficult, the OP can always join the military and fuck tag-chasers, accidentally knock one up, and end up paying child support if he wants.
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Let them talk to you in class and then just talk nicely.
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What an apt title!
Btw, I think that in time, people will forgive. Just don't keep acting like a dick.
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Ignore girls till you are done highschool. Your reputation will not fix itself enough to find a decent girl. Just hope to hell you get a clean slate in college or whatever.
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On October 06 2011 06:12 Geordie wrote:Show nested quote +On October 06 2011 06:10 Synwave wrote: Threads like this are why I regret clicking blogs sometimes. Then again some of the best threads are in blogs. Conundrum! I dont really care what you think, you obviously have a lot of time on your hands if you feel the need to comment on every blog you do not approve of. I didnt write this just for you.
And this reply is exactly where you are starting to screw up. You should not react on people acting like this as that will trigger you to be rude and an asshole. How do you expect to turn this thing around if you keep grabbing each little poke or prod and go out of your way for a semi-snarly reply?
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No other way than to apologize to those girls and show nicer behavior.
High school reminds me of the Cheers theme song: "Where everybody knows your name~"
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