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kcaz
Canada387 Posts
On July 13 2011 22:00 vlf wrote: Don't take my advice, but if someone ever told me something like that, if they weren't trolling, I'd sincerely lose pretty much all the trust I had in this person. That's extremely weak and disrespectful. | ||
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W2
United States1177 Posts
They are right. 2 months is early in the relationship, so you guys are still in the honeymoon phase. So it is easy to disregard what these people say. But it's going to happen, especially if you are spending 50 hours a week together. But anyway, this is just a phase she is having. Stick it out, and she will forget about the whole ordeal. There are going to be a multitude of other relationship problems/troubles to deal with and she won't even remember this case of the "foretold sign". It's just like the girl who thinks you're not meant to be because your horoscopes don't match, or because a fortune teller told her she'd meet her husband at age 24 while she met you when she was 19. Yes, I have had both happen. Just stick it out, and they will be preoccupied with other things and rarely bring it up ever again. Knowing that, however, I still think you should get out, or at least detach yourself and prepare to break it off. She's going to get a lot of shit from her Christian friends about dating a non-Christian, and so many problems are going to arise because of her superstitious beliefs. I'm referring to her belief in signs and dreams, not religion. Also you're 17, you're either high school or college. Graduation in either is going to cause problems too. | ||
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masami.sc
United States445 Posts
The mind is a strange and wonderful creation, and it often invokes outside influences to create sensible personal frameworks and predilections. If she had a vision of a bad breakup, it could suggest that she is worried about your relationship - not in a bad way, but in a normal, humanly way. In effect, she's scared that you two might break up so she's having bad thoughts about a nasty parting of ways. | ||
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synapse
China13814 Posts
On July 13 2011 21:52 FiWiFaKi wrote: Hello, I know teamliquid doesnt especially appreciate these kinds of blogs What??? We love this shit. OT: She's insane. Of course this is a biased standpoint (we're all male atheists) but anyone that lives for God rather than actual people you probably shouldn't waste your time with. | ||
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Servius_Fulvius
United States947 Posts
If you've been together this long with opposing belief systems then obviously you both respect each other enough to let the other be and not push anything. As long as you're both doing that then what's the problem? I don't see this being an issue unless she wants to get married right out of high school. I'm becoming a more devout Christian myself and would have little qualms dating a non-Christian. I don't know if I could marry a non-Christian, so obviously there would be boundaries down the line, but that's down the line and apart from the honeymoon phase. Then again, you're also separated. Distance causes one or both parties to build up a relationship in their head that may not coincide with reality. Remember what is true - she means a lot to you and you don't want to lose her. She probably feels the same. I think you at least owe it to each other to let the relationship take its natural course. | ||
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LaSt)ChAnCe
United States2179 Posts
On July 13 2011 21:52 FiWiFaKi wrote: Hello, I know teamliquid doesnt especially appreciate these kinds of blogs, but Im in need of help, and I don´t really know of a good person to ask about this, so hopefully someone can help me. Before I go any further, this may be a longer read, so to get a general idea, it´s me having trouble with my Christian girlfriend. So me and this girl are 17 years old, weve only been dating for two months, but truthfully it feels like it´s been years. Since we started going out we´ve been hanging out maybe 50 hours a week which is an absurd amount, not good during final exam time and what not, but we managed. Everyone is telling us we will get bored of each other, but I don´t think it´s close to happening, everything was going great. I love her a lot and I always have something to look forward to when seeing her, she is the person who keeps me going and well she is just great. It´s rather strange how we met, but we are very different people. I, like many people on teamliquid, are very scientific, logical thinking type of people. I am quite fit, Im not particularly amazing at any sports, but above the average joe after playing them only once or twice. I do ski a lot for fun however. Well she is more of the language, drama, arts type of girl... Nonetheless, together we have great chemistry. I knew she´s a christian from the start, and I didn´t mind at all, I mean as long as she wasn´t trying to convert me or feed it down my throat, I wouldn´t mind. I mean I think its pretty silly but if it´s what you enjoy, it´s fine by me. So now I went on a trip to Europe for a month, as I moved here when I was little to see my parents and whatever. And my girlfriend also went to some christian camp for one week, and it just so happened that yesterday was the first time we talked since I left, about a weeks time away from each other. We were talking and she was telling me how that camp was super fun and very eye-opening. So at first I´m just thinking - great. I´m having fun here, you´re having fun there. But I had to ask what she ment when she said eye-opening. It turns out, god gave her some visions of our relationship failing there, because they have some speeches they do there about previous experiences, and apperantly one girl there had a vision that her relationship was becoming bad, and then it did. Well now my girlfriend is having this and she is telling me shes unsure what she should do. Because to her, god comes first, and she says I´m a close second. So pretty much we have a super healthy and fun relationship, she told me that her brain thinks everything is super great and she doesn´t want anything to change, and then you have some figure that I don´t believe exists telling her otherwise. I am not able to go meet her for another 3 weeks, I can either talk to her on facebook, msn, or skype... She is freaking me out because she wants to go to another one of these camps in a week or so, I don´t want to lose her because she is everything to me. And well I´m just confused really, I´m not competing with a guy at this point, but rather with god, and I don´t like my odds there. Thanks for any help, I´m sure some of you have been in a similiar situation before. i will be frank... god didn't tell her anything - she's cheating on you, or wants to obviously that's a pretty big assumption based on my atheism, distrust of other people, and pessimism the best thing to do here is end the relationship - next time don't binge on the girlfriend.. if you guys spend that much time together, you WILL get bored of each other.. then it simply falls to the person who cares the least about the relationship to be in control (that's going to be her unless you are good at the game, or disinterested) | ||
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Smoru
United States83 Posts
If she focuses on this thought of "our relationship is failing" then she will unconciously will it to fail, and then it will fail. I would tell her that she has to realize that there are different kinds of love. It shouldnt be "who do I love more, my bf or god" it should be "I love god, he fulfills my spiritual needs. AND i love my bf, he fulfills my emotional needs." If she is forcing you to "compete" with god for her love, and she is as christian as it seems, then you will lose. | ||
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TOCHMY
Sweden1692 Posts
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shinosai
United States1577 Posts
On July 13 2011 22:58 TOCHMY wrote: If a girl ever tells you that you're second (and especially second to god, wtf?!) then she's not a keeper.. Christians in general put God first in front of everything else, including friends and family. It's pretty normal, actually. It's a core part of their belief system. However, when someone starts having "visions" you should probably check them in to see a doctor. | ||
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Order
Lithuania231 Posts
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TOCHMY
Sweden1692 Posts
On July 13 2011 23:04 shinosai wrote: Christians in general put God first in front of everything else, including friends and family. It's pretty normal, actually. It's a core part of their belief system. However, when someone starts having "visions" you should probably check them in to see a doctor. I really can't understand that o.o... But yeah. Sign her up for a doctors appointment | ||
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DeathAngel[ro]
Romania79 Posts
she might be trolling you hard btw , lol | ||
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alpenrahm
Germany628 Posts
last time this happend to me i literally found her in bed with another guy and believe me , you dont want to have this experience. it suxxx... took me months to get my head straight again. | ||
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Hassybaby
United Kingdom10823 Posts
On July 13 2011 21:52 FiWiFaKi wrote: Hello, I know teamliquid doesnt especially appreciate these kinds of blogs, First mistake. TL loves the girl blog (unless they're Chill, and I guess he can get out) Waiting for iNcontroL to join in when he can Oh yeah, the blog. Right. I'm pretty religious (I'm a Muslim), but if one of my ex's said they they had a vision about the relationship not working, I probably would have bailed, love or not. If the other side doesn't have enough faith on what you have that a "vision" (its a dream guys, lets be honest) then it may be a lost cause But by all means, prove us all wrong. I hope it does work out, and if you go for it, I'm sure TL will support you, if not the entire idea. But just saying that there's 2 people in a relationship, and if one's heart isn't in it, then it won't last long Damn, the vision may come true | ||
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JMC4
United States261 Posts
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krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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Eufouria
United Kingdom4425 Posts
She sounds a little crazy, but I wouldn't be as quick to drop her as some people are saying. Just see the relationship out and when it ends, it ends. You chalk it up to an experience and move into a new relationship when you're ready. Don't be too upset when the relationship ends though because it will probably happen sooner than you think. | ||
Kipsate
Netherlands45349 Posts
On July 13 2011 21:52 FiWiFaKi wrote: Hello, I know teamliquid doesnt especially appreciate these kinds of blogs On the contrary, they are very enjoyable. Now where is ILOVEKITTENS? | ||
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tdynasty
Canada220 Posts
Sometimes they feel like they are losing their freedom being in a relationship, in your case she is being brainwashed by some church loving adult. That's a dangerous raod to go down. Mostly because if you feel like you Love her. You will be hurt by the end of the relationship. Too be honest, I woudn't leave her, I would just try and harden you're feelings. You're young and bold, love comes easy at that age. It's really hard to give advice about what to do. But you need to remeber things, you're first love will always shatter your Heart. Don't doubt you're feelings thats the most hurtful way to live through relationships. Let her have her way, but you have to secure your emotions, which most guys can't even do. If I was in your shoes, I would keep talking to her, and try to focus on things like starcraft and not worrie too much about what's going on in her life. The best and most comforting thing a man can hold on too. If you are a good person, kind and caring, and she left you. You will move on and have a better relationship next time. Keep yourself happy and it will keep you safe. Don't let a girl become your center of attention and focus of your life. Girls are partners, and they naturally are attracted to a happy person. Good luck, and study science. Religion makes you believe in things like visions. | ||
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ILOVEKITTENS
Korea (South)112 Posts
This girl believes in God. She no longer believes in your relationship with her. This means she takes God's guidance not only over your feelings, but her own. This is grand delusion of the highest order. I presume that tranquilizing her and sending her to an insane asylum would only make things worse for your relationship, even if it were to be for the overall benefit to her life. Imagine how great it would be if we could capture religious fanatics and throw them into insane asylums under the pretense of schizophrenia. Sorry, got off on a biased tangent there. The way I see it, you have 3 paths ahead of you. It is up to you to choose one: ** The Good ** ![[image loading]](http://www.yourcatholicchurch.org/jesus_large.jpg) Convert to Christianity. HAHAHAHAHA just kidding. This path is the path of understanding and enlightenment. While I find it hard to believe that a borderline schizophrenic who uses an imaginary voice to decide which way your relationship will go has any sort of value as a human being, this path would determine whether or not this is the case. Remember, this is the path of good. So, be prepared to make disproportional sacrifices. If this person is really as great as you describe her to be, this might actually work, and not crash and burn like it does with most ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/sC02w.jpg) In order to approach this in the correct fashion, it is important that you both read this quote and discuss it in detail. The road to enlightenment is the analyzing, understanding, and acceptance of those around you. What does this mean? It means that you must read the Bible, and she must read Atheist literature (I recommend you give her "The Gospel..." by Saramago first, then literature by Dawkins and Harris, there are also good YouTube videos on the matter). Only fools get all of their opinions from one book or author.This would only give you a better understanding of each other. If she is unwilling to do this, she is not worth your time. If you are unwilling to do this, I can't really blame you but the Bible is an interesting read, honestly. Never again will you have the chance to read a book that has changed history so greatly and affected so many people. In that sense, the Bible is amazing. Remember to be OPEN to everything - discussion, constructive argument, etc. For this you need to be educated in the matter, so I suggest you read the Atheist material as well if you have not done so already. For other resources on the matter, I direct you to one of reddit's best subforums. This would be a good place to post your dilemma as well, but remember, as with any forum, you should read most of the top threads or do a search for your subject before you post. Although there are hilarious truisms like this one: ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Miz5A.jpg) ... It's not the best way to open a constructive conversation about religion. Choose your tools wisely. This is a much better option. With any luck, if she has any shred of intellectual integrity, she should start seeing the flaws of her institution through the almost incontrovertible logic used by some of the greatest thinkers Atheism has to offer. This can be a really scary process, and r/atheism/ will be there to help you with that as well. I don't suggest you introduce her to /atheism until you've at least bridged that gap first, though. If she is still adamant about her beliefs, then you are just young and stupid for liking such a closed-minded person, but hey we've all liked our share of bitchy girls in our time. At least I certainly have. And the bitches I liked, well, they didn't have a convenient excuse like Christianity, and I still went after them. So, I am not trying to be a hypocrite by saying this, but sometimes a bitch is just a bitch, and there is nothing you can do. The benefits:
The cons:
** The Bad ** ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/3Qupx.jpg) Skip all the niceties. Learn a few logical fallacies that are present in any God-fearing person's mind, thanks to the Bible. Then, exploit them ruthlessly using scripture quotes to make her accept that she does not live by the Bible, and is only selectively choosing what to believe and what not to, something that is in itself strictly forbidden by the Bible. R/Atheism will once again be the guiding light in this endeavor. Here are some of my personal favorite examples of Christians getting raped by logic (as if the priests weren't enough): + Show Spoiler + ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/nqvY9.png) ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/FzNuE.png) ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/8LsJi.jpg) ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/M3yxB.png) ![[image loading]](http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/2193/1251169393326.jpg) And there are many more! Remember, that if you want this method to work, you have to do it under the guise of benevolence. What I mean is, even though you are being aggressive in your tactics, don't be aggressive in your words. Just counter every argument she has for the existence of God with fact. Cite things like the chemical effects of prayer on the brain and how they simulate a euphoria that can be achieved on drugs, and therefore can lead to addiction, for example. "Speak softly but carry a big stick; you will go far." -- Theodore Roosevelt You speaking softly is due to your caring for her and due to you using tact to subdue her Christian nonsense. Your big stick is the logical superiority of Atheism. The benefits:
The cons:
** The Ugly ** ![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Rul1g.jpg) This is if you're being really devious, or if the previous two approaches didn't work. Here's the plan. You buy two walkie-talkies. When she away at her next camp retreat or whatever, stakeout her house for a night or two to see her family's sleeping patterns. Then you burn the house down while they sleep, and tell her that her merciful God this to her, and that you are there to support her even though God left her. Just kidding, you can either tell her parents that you left something in her room and ask to go look for it (I don't know how close you are to her family so this might not be an option), or you break into her room. Most people don't lock their windows anymore, at least not in nice neighborhoods. If she is on the second story, tough cookies, you have to get a ladder. When you're safely inside, you hide the walkie-talkie somewhere. Make sure to do this shortly before she arrives, so that it doesn't lose charge. On her first night back, wait for her to turn off the lights in her room. Run up to the house to minimize static, and start the master plan. "HELLO, ________, THIS IS GOD SPEAKING. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR GOING TO BIBLE CAMP. BUT, HAS THE BIBLE MADE YOU BLIND TO GOD'S WILL, THROUGH THE WORDS OF ITS PREACHERS?" Leave it at that. She will muse on this for a while, I am sure. Also, the more you speak, the more obvious it is that its just a walkie-talkie in her air vent or something. Think of something clever for every night - it should build up to the fact that God wants all of his children to have successful relationships regardless of color or creed, and that tolerance is the path to enlightenment. I'm sure she will have second thoughts shortly after. The benefits:
The cons:
Best of luck! FIGHTING! | ||
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