Hello, I know teamliquid doesnt especially appreciate these kinds of blogs, but Im in need of help, and I don´t really know of a good person to ask about this, so hopefully someone can help me. Before I go any further, this may be a longer read, so to get a general idea, it´s me having trouble with my Christian girlfriend.
So me and this girl are 17 years old, weve only been dating for two months, but truthfully it feels like it´s been years. Since we started going out we´ve been hanging out maybe 50 hours a week which is an absurd amount, not good during final exam time and what not, but we managed. Everyone is telling us we will get bored of each other, but I don´t think it´s close to happening, everything was going great. I love her a lot and I always have something to look forward to when seeing her, she is the person who keeps me going and well she is just great.
It´s rather strange how we met, but we are very different people. I, like many people on teamliquid, are very scientific, logical thinking type of people. I am quite fit, Im not particularly amazing at any sports, but above the average joe after playing them only once or twice. I do ski a lot for fun however. Well she is more of the language, drama, arts type of girl... Nonetheless, together we have great chemistry. I knew she´s a christian from the start, and I didn´t mind at all, I mean as long as she wasn´t trying to convert me or feed it down my throat, I wouldn´t mind. I mean I think its pretty silly but if it´s what you enjoy, it´s fine by me.
So now I went on a trip to Europe for a month, as I moved here when I was little to see my parents and whatever. And my girlfriend also went to some christian camp for one week, and it just so happened that yesterday was the first time we talked since I left, about a weeks time away from each other. We were talking and she was telling me how that camp was super fun and very eye-opening. So at first I´m just thinking - great. I´m having fun here, you´re having fun there. But I had to ask what she ment when she said eye-opening.
It turns out, god gave her some visions of our relationship failing there, because they have some speeches they do there about previous experiences, and apperantly one girl there had a vision that her relationship was becoming bad, and then it did. Well now my girlfriend is having this and she is telling me shes unsure what she should do. Because to her, god comes first, and she says I´m a close second. So pretty much we have a super healthy and fun relationship, she told me that her brain thinks everything is super great and she doesn´t want anything to change, and then you have some figure that I don´t believe exists telling her otherwise. I am not able to go meet her for another 3 weeks, I can either talk to her on facebook, msn, or skype... She is freaking me out because she wants to go to another one of these camps in a week or so, I don´t want to lose her because she is everything to me. And well I´m just confused really, I´m not competing with a guy at this point, but rather with god, and I don´t like my odds there.
Thanks for any help, I´m sure some of you have been in a similiar situation before.
Don't take my advice, but if someone ever told me something like that, if they weren't trolling, I'd sincerely lose pretty much all the trust I had in this person. That's extremely weak and disrespectful.
On July 13 2011 22:00 vlf wrote: Don't take my advice, but if someone ever told me something like that, if they weren't trolling, I'd sincerely lose pretty much all the trust I had in this person. That's extremely weak and disrespectful.
It´s weird, because well, even if everything turns out okay and it was just a "phase" or something, she could start getting those thoughts again and well... I really want to stay with her, everything about her makes me so happy.
I mean even though I think it´s stupid and irrational thinking, I am not going to tell her that, and never really before has she used religious thinking to solve problems, but she´s trying to become more religious.
real advice: tell her just because it happened to someone else doesn't mean it will happen to us and that you can't know for sure until you try. (insert romantic language in there)
what i would do: if she was starting to let god interfere with our relationship (i'm like you don't believe in god) i would just say alright and drop her... there was actually a thread about this but challenging peoples beliefs just get you into trouble and it's not always worth doing... even worse with god
Ok wait, so she had visions of your relationship failing? God first and you second? Why can't she have both you and God at the same time?
I think what she's going through is kind of like a withdrawal period from addiction. You two spent practically half of each day together everyday for two months, and now that's dropped all the way down to zero for the past week. Of course she's going to have a drastic change in lifestyle and have doubts.
There's no way you can stop her from going to another of these, then the best you can do is probably assuring her that things will be back to "normal" in a couple weeks and you two will be fine. I'm not sure how religiously delusional your girlfriend might be, but maybe you can convince her that her "visions" are just her fears (of losing you) taking over.
*edit: and I personally love girl blogs, keep 'em coming!
On July 13 2011 22:00 vlf wrote: Don't take my advice, but if someone ever told me something like that, if they weren't trolling, I'd sincerely lose pretty much all the trust I had in this person. That's extremely weak and disrespectful.
I agree, though maybe thats just because i very much dislike all organized religions (you can believe in whatever you want, but if it gets organised, everything just tends to go downhill). If she rather trusts in god or some sort of vision than in you, she's not worth your time. It's basically a self-fullfilling prophecy (maybe even started by the staff of the christian camp, i wouldn't be suprised by anything in those camps): 'Vision or induced expectation': "The relationship will break" She: "I don't trust the relationship anymore, do something" You: "I can't do anything if you don't have trust in me" She: "You didn't help, the vision was right, it's over"
Well, as i said... my opinions are definatly not objective, so YMMV.
On July 13 2011 22:00 vlf wrote: Don't take my advice, but if someone ever told me something like that, if they weren't trolling, I'd sincerely lose pretty much all the trust I had in this person. That's extremely weak and disrespectful.
It´s weird, because well, even if everything turns out okay and it was just a "phase" or something, she could start getting those thoughts again and well... I really want to stay with her, everything about her makes me so happy.
I mean even though I think it´s stupid and irrational thinking, I am not going to tell her that, and never really before has she used religious thinking to solve problems, but she´s trying to become more religious.
I understand what you're saying and that's why I'm trying not to be extremely judgmental or anything, but that's exactly why I mentioned loss of trust. Can you trust someone whose feelings and actions are easily swayed by such flimsy notions in a span of weeks? Heck, I've dreamed about plenty of weird shit, doesn't mean I'll act on it. Let alone sac a meaningful relationship with another person.
Yeah, that's pretty much how you ought to approach this, shoving beliefs down your other half's throat just spells long run disaster. What I don't understand is why she feels the need to become more religious all of a sudden, she's either slightly unstable or, as I previously mentioned, easily swayed - none of which are good.
I will take this as a sincere blog post...I know it's hard but you are probably not going to last with this girl.
Where do you see yourself going with this? (I ask since you're only 17) Most kids at that age are dating for fun, I'm assuming since she is (what I would now denote) a hardcore Christian that there hasn't been anything sexual, so this relationship seems formed more on a platonic nature. I will say that from what I've experienced with a lot of Christians in my life, it is usually harder to convert someone out of Christianity than into it. If you are feeling uncomfortable, or she is continuing to force the issue that some impending bad things will come for the relationship - you might as well just have a face to face chat when you can (do it on skype if you must, but it's not the best) and just present your side of the issue.
It is not easy to make a girl choose you over religion if she has already hinted at her choice. Also, relationships in general are going to be quite difficult if one party is religious (more than loosely) and the other party is not (and not willing to convert properly, I'm not saying a situation where her family is whatever and you are converting for show/her parents etc).
Edit: This is also coming from someone who has a decent amount of experience in this, I know a lot of people, especially the internet crowd don't look favourable at religion at all or will treat it with one liners etc.
Reminds me of a girl who went on some site to check compatibility and broke up because they werent compatible, the world is full of crazy people. I feel kinda bad for you.
Get out now. You're young, two months isn't even a blip on the relationship radar in the grand scheme of things. I'd also have to echo the sentiments above, the fact she's willing to trust a crazy thought backed up by an even crazier story leaves some serious questioning to be done. If she can't open her eyes to how the situation is in reality, I can't see any hope for this working.
And really, if she's religious, you could let her go now, and if she gets less crazy maybe you can get back together later, or maybe she has a vision about the two of you working out or some other crazy ass vision. At least she wouldn't have slept with any guys!
I think you need to have a heart to heart with her ASAP. Get her on skype and talk. Talk about how you don't want to lose her and how she means the world to you. Just remind her what she means to you and ask her if she feels the same way. Then ask if she herself thinks the relationship is turning bad and ask if she's willing to let a proxy vision ruin what you guys have.
Don't pressure too hard since she'll still probably want to go to this camp thing again to find answers but just make sure she knows you're in this relationship 100%. Just knowing that you're not going to waver might make her realise that it is worth carrying on.
On July 13 2011 22:08 OpticalShot wrote: Ok wait, so she had visions of your relationship failing? God first and you second? Why can't she have both you and God at the same time?
I think what she's going through is kind of like a withdrawal period from addiction. You two spent practically half of each day together everyday for two months, and now that's dropped all the way down to zero for the past week. Of course she's going to have a drastic change in lifestyle and have doubts.
There's no way you can stop her from going to another of these, then the best you can do is probably assuring her that things will be back to "normal" in a couple weeks and you two will be fine. I'm not sure how religiously delusional your girlfriend might be, but maybe you can convince her that her "visions" are just her fears (of losing you) taking over.
*edit: and I personally love girl blogs, keep 'em coming!
Hmm, I just wish I could see her sooner, but I do think that telling her everything will be alright soon would be good. In a situation like hers though, I think her mind can play a lot of nasty tricks on her, but she should be able to keep herself together.
And to be honest Im not sure exactly how christianity works, I mean she brought me to one of her christian youth group things once, and it was more of a day to chill, but there was for maybe 30 minutes some guy saying what god wants us to do and what he doesn´t. She didn´t think they would do that stuff that one day, she was really sorry I had to hear it but I didn´t mind that. I was just kinda angry at what kind of things they were telling her there, but I was relieved because she wasn´t doing exactly what they were telling her there.
But yeah, I thought god comes first and everything else is afterwards, because you invest your life into it. I mean I don´t want it to come of douchy, asking her why god is placed so highly and I can´t be there or whatever.
On July 13 2011 21:52 FiWiFaKi wrote: So me and this girl are 17 years old, weve only been dating for two months, but truthfully it feels like it´s been years.
It turns out, god gave her some visions of our relationship failing
Because to her, god comes first, and she says I´m a close second. So pretty much we have a super healthy and fun relationship
I don´t want to lose her because she is everything to me.
This blog was hilarious. You think you're in love with someone whom you've been dating for two months, and now you're realizing that she's actually crazy. Sounds like you're only now beginning to learn what she's like, because two months is not nearly enough time to truly know another person. That, or she is bored of you, and God provides an easy, guilt free excuse to use to break up. (This seems most likely, but the crazy religious option seemed more amusing.) 5/5 would laugh at your expense again, as is the fate of these blogs.
oh man..... fuck... she got you.. what can you say to that!? naw gods wrong; or naw gods not real; or bye. shit shes good... dood that sucks.
here is a line that might help: "He may be able to see that its going to get tough but he should know how much I love you and how I will work to keep this relationship good"
One time I dated a Mormon. She wouldn't drink iced tea when i met her cause it had caffeine in it. We lost our V cards to each other and by the time I dumped her she was drinking and smoking with me ever weekend /brag so people can change.
I wasn't a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant. I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and "true love conquers all" etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are "liberated" (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today's society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.
I'd like to point out that I am not a misogynist...I love women. But I AM a sexist, in the sense that I believe women are vastly different than men and, according to the standards that men hold for other men, women are inferior as well.
I must be a bitter loser, right? In fact, I enjoy more success with women than most of the men in this city. I have slept with over 200 women in my life. I am sleeping with 5 different women right now. They are all normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking (8+ on the looks scale) professional women. (At least as normal and healthy and well-adjusted as women can be - most women have issues.) But that's not all. I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can pick her up in front of all her friends (with 80% efficiency for each approach.) Women will slip me their phone number when their boyfriend is in the bathroom. I can talk to women on the street or in the grocery store and within 30 minutes, I can usually have sex with them right there in my car or get them back to my place. If I have to settle for a phone number, and I meet her on another day, assuming she doesn't flake, I WILL fuck her that next day.
Let me point out right now that my Modus Operandi doesn't change in the slightest if she single or if she has a boyfriend or husband. I just do my normal routine and I fuck her. Sometimes she brings up the boyfriend so she won't feel guilty when I fuck her because now it's "my fault." Sometimes she hides it from me until after I've fucked her, then she admits it. I can't tell you how many times I've been laying next to some chick, all sweaty cause I just finished busting a nut all over her face or in her mouth or on her back, and suddenly her phone rings and she's on the phone with her man, giving him some bullshit story. This is with NO GUILT WHATSOEVER!!! The sweetest most innocent girls you ever laid eyes on, will cheat at the drop of a HAT. The one thing that most men value most - loyalty - is just not there with women. Women don't think in terms of honor, women don't say "word is bond;" women are basically emotionally driven. If they feel it, they do it, period. Then they rationalize it to themselves later. Nothing is more meaningful, or compelling, to a woman than (1) the way she feels and (2) learning more about her own inner self and having emotional realizations. That's why women love astrology, chick flicks, soap operas, stupid Cosmo quizes that supposedly reveal info about yourself, etc.
I must be really good looking, right? NOPE. My looks are marginal; I'm maybe a 7. I don't work out (though I'm not fat or anything.) In fact I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's. That's when I decided to go out a lot and start trying to get laid... I was willing to face rejection a thousand times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything, until I got it right. I had to completely set my ego aside. I didn't get laid at all for the first few months. Then every now and then. Then pretty often. Then downright consistently! I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school. The ONLY factor that determined whether a woman would cheat was my own skill level. When my skills were poor, women shit all over me. (Everyone knows how women think they have license to be rude bitches in social situations... in fact I understand and appreciate that behavior now.) But once my skills got good, I could fuck just about anyone's wife or girlfriend. And many times I didn't know they had a man until after I fucked them.
Look, I'm not saying that men are perfect, or whatever. Far from it. I'm just saying, I've spent a lot of my time studying women and interacting with them, and I know how they are. In fact, sometimes I hate knowing it. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill, and never went down the rabbit hole, because now there's really no going back. I didn't want to believe these things... but how could I ever get married now? How could I ever be the chump who pays for everything and blissfully goes through life not worrying about his woman because he trusts her? Look, would you leave your dog alone with a steak? You can't hate the dog for doing what's in its nature. You can't trust a dog, BUT you can trust a dog to BE a dog. Some men are disloyal... but I could *never* trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad presidents...but I could *never* vote for a woman to be president. I can rarely expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment. She will rationalize it to herself later.
Here's an interesting fact. Did you know that the median 22 year old woman has TWICE as much sex as the median 22 year old man? You might ask, how is that possible? If a woman's having sex, doesn't that mean a man is having sex at the same time? And thus, shouldn't men be having just as much sex as women? NO...because most men hardly get laid, or if they do, it's because they "got lucky." But a small group of men get laid ALL THE TIME, and fuck LOTS AND LOTS of women! It's evolution at work. Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men like me (who know how to control female emotions.) Women want the top man...so the top man fucks lots of women. That's right - the sexual revolution, feminism, etc has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their own emotions, are volunteering for the modern-day equivalent of harems. Lucky for me!! Heh.
You might say, "But...but...I'm so nice! I'm a nice guy!" Guess what? That's like a fat chick saying, "But I'm so smart!" As if those things have anything in the world to do with sexual attraction!
I'm going to give some tips here for the poor sucker guys who are posting online trying to get laid and who are spending hundreds / thousands of dollars on all those whores out there without getting any play. (You bitches know exactly what you're doing, and I'm on to your game!)
Don't be sexually judgemental in any way. A woman's worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. She will suck your toes and take it in the ass if she thinks you don't view her poorly for it (and she knows her friends won't find out.)
Don't get angry at her. Women know they have emotional outbursts and they need to trust that you can handle that. It's ok (and necessary) to occasionally put your foot down...just make sure she knows you are fully in control of yourself.
Don't let her manipulate you or control you in any way. She will immediately lose all respect for you. Always be leading. It's just like dancing - women hate a man who can't lead. When first approaching a woman or a group, they tend to get a feeling like this is just your little scheme to get close to them, when you really just want something from them - like sex. (And they're right.) It's important to structure your body language and conversation so that they honestly don't believe you want something from them. They should feel like you are about to leave at any second.
DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS HER IN ANY WAY. Don't show off. Don't talk about accomplishments or possessions. As soon as she perceives that you are trying to prove yourself to her, she loses all interest.
Don't ignore her friends. A woman values her friend's opinions more than just about anything else in the world. Nothing matters to her more than what other women are thinking. Give her friends lots of attention and get everyone laughing. If one woman is feeling different than the others, she will drag them away. They will follow like a flock of pigeons. Society is the book of women. (Notice that men do NOT behave this way! Women are very different!)
To get a woman attracted / emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don't just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that "I can't believe you just said that" look, do NOT back down, do not say "Oh I'm just kidding" or anything like that.
As she gets more emotional, she will try to ruin things by throwing in logic. She will ask you if you are a player, or if you say this to all the girls, or whatever. The trick is this: Don't take it seriously by giving it some logical answer! That's right...women lose interest if you take them seriously!!! It's crazy but that's how they behave. Just blow it off or misinterpret what she's saying as though she is coming on to you. If you fail these tests, she will be gone so fast your head will spin.
She will start asking you lots of questions. This is what chicks do when they suddenly find themselves attracted to a man they know nothing about. This is your chance to open up a little and also find out more about her and build a deeper connection. You have to do this, or she will flake later (even if you've kissed her!) Women are the worst flakes in the world! Don't make it too easy for her, make her work for it a bit. Then talk about connections and childhood memories and things you have in common, etc. She needs to feel that this is genuine. This is usually the time when I throw in a few fake vulnerabilities, like pretending I'm shy or insecure about something. I know it's fucked up but women need to see that there are at least a few small holes where they can sink their hooks in you. They get uneasy if you are too perfect.
Make sure she gets the feeling that you have standards and that you are judging her based on them. Ask her questions that show her you are checking her out to see if she is up to snuff. Women don't like to feel like you are with them only because you can't do any better. They prefer to feel like you have high standards; you can get any chick you want, but you chose HER because she is SOOOO special and SOOOO different from all the others. Yeah, I know.
Move her to different locations. Take her next door for a drink. Take her across the street to check out some art. The more locations the better. Take responsibility for every escalation. A woman will do just about anything as long as she doesn't have to feel like it was "her fault." Make it YOUR fault. Make it "just happen." She will rationalize it to herself later using the same bullshit generator that women use to flake out on dates at the last minute. Don't get her horny until you get her isolated. Believe me, emotional is better than horny.
Keep the woman always swinging somewhere between validation and rejection. If she feels rejected, she drops out or gets REALLY MAD. And if she feels too validated, she will ditch you in a heartbeat. So push her away (emotionally) and then pull her back in.
BELIEVE YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. Chicks do not look at your excuses and try to see if they are bullshit or not... because that is the logical thing to do, and chicks are not logical. Rather, what they do is see if YOU seem to believe your own bullshit when you say it. If you look like you do, then chances are, they will believe it too. So the key is to believe your own bullshit, and other aspects about yourself that you want the chick to believe about you too (alpha male..whatever)... because your own self beliefs for some reason will automatically 'impart' to the chick! One more thing...many guys make the mistake of listening to female romantic advice. Don't listen to them, THEY DON'T KNOW WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, and they WILL steer you wrong. They will tell you what they
THINK they want, instead of what they actually RESPOND to. And furthermore, a large part of the female sexual experience IS the inability to admit these things BECAUSE they derive sexual pleasure from putting up resistance and being overwhelmed.
If you do things this way, after a few months practice you WILL get laid like a rock star. The guys who get laid are the ones who know what they are doing, because they have practiced on lots of women. Ironically, women are most attracted to the men who are most likely to fuck them and then dump them on their ass - because those are precisely the men who have so many other options because they practice on lots of women. That's why you always hear women bitching about how men are assholes that only want to fuck them and dump them - because those are the men that they gravitate to.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
(If you apply the above to your situation, your girlfriend's emotions have been won over by Christianity, and she is effectively cheating on you with Christianity. If it wasn't Christianity, it could've been another guy who had better game than you. It's easy for young and impressionable people to think Christianity is emotionally fulfilling, especially with their loud power-pop Jesus is my boyfriend worship music and over the top "God loves everyone" charisma in general.)
On July 13 2011 22:13 PartyBiscuit wrote: I will take this as a sincere blog post...I know it's hard but you are probably not going to last with this girl.
Where do you see yourself going with this? (I ask since you're only 17) Most kids at that age are dating for fun, I'm assuming since she is (what I would now denote) a hardcore Christian that there hasn't been anything sexual, so this relationship seems formed more on a platonic nature. I will say that from what I've experienced with a lot of Christians in my life, it is usually harder to convert someone out of Christianity than into it. If you are feeling uncomfortable, or she is continuing to force the issue that some impending bad things will come for the relationship - you might as well just have a face to face chat when you can (do it on skype if you must, but it's not the best) and just present your side of the issue.
It is not easy to make a girl choose you over religion if she has already hinted at her choice. Also, relationships in general are going to be quite difficult if one party is religious (more than loosely) and the other party is not (and not willing to convert properly, I'm not saying a situation where her family is whatever and you are converting for show/her parents etc).
Edit: This is also coming from someone who has a decent amount of experience in this, I know a lot of people, especially the internet crowd don't look favourable at religion at all or will treat it with one liners etc.
Well at first I thought it would be really casual. But honestly weve both grown on each other A LOT. I mean we can both see each other together in years to come, weve talked about it together, and well. She put me infront of her parents numerous times, several times knowing she would get into serious shit, and she did, just to be with me, same goes for me.
As for sexual stuff, we pretty much did everything besides the real deal itself. She told me 22 is the age like after we were dating for 1 week. And well I didn´t care much to be honest. I love her for who she is, and she isn´t a slut and she respects herself. We´ve slept together in the same bed a couple times, we trust each other with everything, and well like two weeks back she told me she´s changing that age to 18. So that made me think she isn´t so super hardcore into those religious morals.
I just don´t know what to tell her, I can´t just say I don´t like you being Christian, like you said... It never interfered with us before, and now it is so itś strange to me.
I read the thing about christian camp, and I started typing out right there "she's crazy, leave her." As my mouse hung over the post button I thought better of it, scrolled back up and continued reading.
Less than four lines later, I realized that my initial response was actually perfect. So here it is.
On July 13 2011 22:00 vlf wrote: Don't take my advice, but if someone ever told me something like that, if they weren't trolling, I'd sincerely lose pretty much all the trust I had in this person. That's extremely weak and disrespectful.
"Everyone is telling me we'll get bored of each other" They are right. 2 months is early in the relationship, so you guys are still in the honeymoon phase. So it is easy to disregard what these people say. But it's going to happen, especially if you are spending 50 hours a week together.
But anyway, this is just a phase she is having. Stick it out, and she will forget about the whole ordeal. There are going to be a multitude of other relationship problems/troubles to deal with and she won't even remember this case of the "foretold sign". It's just like the girl who thinks you're not meant to be because your horoscopes don't match, or because a fortune teller told her she'd meet her husband at age 24 while she met you when she was 19. Yes, I have had both happen. Just stick it out, and they will be preoccupied with other things and rarely bring it up ever again.
Knowing that, however, I still think you should get out, or at least detach yourself and prepare to break it off. She's going to get a lot of shit from her Christian friends about dating a non-Christian, and so many problems are going to arise because of her superstitious beliefs. I'm referring to her belief in signs and dreams, not religion. Also you're 17, you're either high school or college. Graduation in either is going to cause problems too.
I know that it's almost impossible to convince hardcore religious bible thumpers to see the light of reason, but... I'm pretty sure her mind was compelled to dream up the same "vision" after she heard that other girl's story.
The mind is a strange and wonderful creation, and it often invokes outside influences to create sensible personal frameworks and predilections. If she had a vision of a bad breakup, it could suggest that she is worried about your relationship - not in a bad way, but in a normal, humanly way. In effect, she's scared that you two might break up so she's having bad thoughts about a nasty parting of ways.
On July 13 2011 21:52 FiWiFaKi wrote: Hello, I know teamliquid doesnt especially appreciate these kinds of blogs
What??? We love this shit.
OT: She's insane. Of course this is a biased standpoint (we're all male atheists) but anyone that lives for God rather than actual people you probably shouldn't waste your time with.
You're both 17. You don't need a revelation from God to tell you the relationship probably won't work out in the end. Almost none of them do.
If you've been together this long with opposing belief systems then obviously you both respect each other enough to let the other be and not push anything. As long as you're both doing that then what's the problem? I don't see this being an issue unless she wants to get married right out of high school. I'm becoming a more devout Christian myself and would have little qualms dating a non-Christian. I don't know if I could marry a non-Christian, so obviously there would be boundaries down the line, but that's down the line and apart from the honeymoon phase.
Then again, you're also separated. Distance causes one or both parties to build up a relationship in their head that may not coincide with reality. Remember what is true - she means a lot to you and you don't want to lose her. She probably feels the same. I think you at least owe it to each other to let the relationship take its natural course.
On July 13 2011 21:52 FiWiFaKi wrote: Hello, I know teamliquid doesnt especially appreciate these kinds of blogs, but Im in need of help, and I don´t really know of a good person to ask about this, so hopefully someone can help me. Before I go any further, this may be a longer read, so to get a general idea, it´s me having trouble with my Christian girlfriend.
So me and this girl are 17 years old, weve only been dating for two months, but truthfully it feels like it´s been years. Since we started going out we´ve been hanging out maybe 50 hours a week which is an absurd amount, not good during final exam time and what not, but we managed. Everyone is telling us we will get bored of each other, but I don´t think it´s close to happening, everything was going great. I love her a lot and I always have something to look forward to when seeing her, she is the person who keeps me going and well she is just great.
It´s rather strange how we met, but we are very different people. I, like many people on teamliquid, are very scientific, logical thinking type of people. I am quite fit, Im not particularly amazing at any sports, but above the average joe after playing them only once or twice. I do ski a lot for fun however. Well she is more of the language, drama, arts type of girl... Nonetheless, together we have great chemistry. I knew she´s a christian from the start, and I didn´t mind at all, I mean as long as she wasn´t trying to convert me or feed it down my throat, I wouldn´t mind. I mean I think its pretty silly but if it´s what you enjoy, it´s fine by me.
So now I went on a trip to Europe for a month, as I moved here when I was little to see my parents and whatever. And my girlfriend also went to some christian camp for one week, and it just so happened that yesterday was the first time we talked since I left, about a weeks time away from each other. We were talking and she was telling me how that camp was super fun and very eye-opening. So at first I´m just thinking - great. I´m having fun here, you´re having fun there. But I had to ask what she ment when she said eye-opening.
It turns out, god gave her some visions of our relationship failing there, because they have some speeches they do there about previous experiences, and apperantly one girl there had a vision that her relationship was becoming bad, and then it did. Well now my girlfriend is having this and she is telling me shes unsure what she should do. Because to her, god comes first, and she says I´m a close second. So pretty much we have a super healthy and fun relationship, she told me that her brain thinks everything is super great and she doesn´t want anything to change, and then you have some figure that I don´t believe exists telling her otherwise. I am not able to go meet her for another 3 weeks, I can either talk to her on facebook, msn, or skype... She is freaking me out because she wants to go to another one of these camps in a week or so, I don´t want to lose her because she is everything to me. And well I´m just confused really, I´m not competing with a guy at this point, but rather with god, and I don´t like my odds there.
Thanks for any help, I´m sure some of you have been in a similiar situation before.
i will be frank... god didn't tell her anything - she's cheating on you, or wants to
obviously that's a pretty big assumption based on my atheism, distrust of other people, and pessimism
the best thing to do here is end the relationship - next time don't binge on the girlfriend.. if you guys spend that much time together, you WILL get bored of each other.. then it simply falls to the person who cares the least about the relationship to be in control (that's going to be her unless you are good at the game, or disinterested)
Show her stuff about self-fulfilling prophecies. If she focuses on this thought of "our relationship is failing" then she will unconciously will it to fail, and then it will fail.
I would tell her that she has to realize that there are different kinds of love. It shouldnt be "who do I love more, my bf or god" it should be "I love god, he fulfills my spiritual needs. AND i love my bf, he fulfills my emotional needs." If she is forcing you to "compete" with god for her love, and she is as christian as it seems, then you will lose.
On July 13 2011 22:58 TOCHMY wrote: If a girl ever tells you that you're second (and especially second to god, wtf?!) then she's not a keeper..
Christians in general put God first in front of everything else, including friends and family. It's pretty normal, actually. It's a core part of their belief system. However, when someone starts having "visions" you should probably check them in to see a doctor.
Well I think she's just doing this because she's afraid to say that she's not interested in you anymore. Girls do this stuff, trust me. My ex told me she read in a book that if the guy wants to have sex with his girlfriend before they get married the girl should leave the guy because he's most likely to ask other women to have sex even when they are married. She told me she didn't want to be together anymore because this one time when we got home pretty drunk and started to make out I tried to unbutton her blouse. After that she said the book was right and that we shouldnt be together anymore. 2 weeks later I found out she was seeing another guy while we were still dating and now after 2 years passed she told me that book doesnt even exist and she only said those things because she was afraid to "hurt my feelings". Thank God, because I just thought she was plain stupid. So yeah. I'd say you're probably over. Hate to disappoint you man.
On July 13 2011 22:58 TOCHMY wrote: If a girl ever tells you that you're second (and especially second to god, wtf?!) then she's not a keeper..
Christians in general put God first in front of everything else, including friends and family. It's pretty normal, actually. It's a core part of their belief system. However, when someone starts having "visions" you should probably check them in to see a doctor.
I really can't understand that o.o... But yeah. Sign her up for a doctors appointment
^ the guy above me is totally right when a gril somehow openly doubts your relationship, its over and you should get the hell out of there
last time this happend to me i literally found her in bed with another guy and believe me , you dont want to have this experience. it suxxx... took me months to get my head straight again.
On July 13 2011 21:52 FiWiFaKi wrote: Hello, I know teamliquid doesnt especially appreciate these kinds of blogs,
First mistake. TL loves the girl blog (unless they're Chill, and I guess he can get out) Waiting for iNcontroL to join in when he can
Oh yeah, the blog. Right. I'm pretty religious (I'm a Muslim), but if one of my ex's said they they had a vision about the relationship not working, I probably would have bailed, love or not. If the other side doesn't have enough faith on what you have that a "vision" (its a dream guys, lets be honest) then it may be a lost cause
But by all means, prove us all wrong. I hope it does work out, and if you go for it, I'm sure TL will support you, if not the entire idea. But just saying that there's 2 people in a relationship, and if one's heart isn't in it, then it won't last long
Well after reading your post and all the comments below that I'm not sure what to think. I certainly think this girl you're going with is a bit....... off. (Not sure if that's the right word for what I'm trying to convey but I suppose it'll do.) The reason I say this is not because she believes in God but the way she's going about it. I too am a Christian and I'm not psychotic about relationships and putting God first in everything. Granted God is very important to me but there is a line you have to not cross between making it actually something real rather than getting sucked up in the (as someone stated before) Worship music, everything is good, and if I believe in God everything will be good phase. That's not really how religion works. I'd say dump the girl. If she doubts your relationship and she continues to do so that is going nowhere.
If you've only been dating for 2 months you don't know her as well as you think you do. Also everyone your age feels the same in their first relationship, but the averahe length of that relationship is 6 months.
She sounds a little crazy, but I wouldn't be as quick to drop her as some people are saying. Just see the relationship out and when it ends, it ends. You chalk it up to an experience and move into a new relationship when you're ready. Don't be too upset when the relationship ends though because it will probably happen sooner than you think.
Bro girls are that age are unreliable. They will get crazy Ideas about the future and it will scare the shit out them.
Sometimes they feel like they are losing their freedom being in a relationship, in your case she is being brainwashed by some church loving adult.
That's a dangerous raod to go down. Mostly because if you feel like you Love her. You will be hurt by the end of the relationship.
Too be honest, I woudn't leave her, I would just try and harden you're feelings. You're young and bold, love comes easy at that age.
It's really hard to give advice about what to do. But you need to remeber things, you're first love will always shatter your Heart.
Don't doubt you're feelings thats the most hurtful way to live through relationships. Let her have her way, but you have to secure your emotions, which most guys can't even do.
If I was in your shoes, I would keep talking to her, and try to focus on things like starcraft and not worrie too much about what's going on in her life.
The best and most comforting thing a man can hold on too. If you are a good person, kind and caring, and she left you. You will move on and have a better relationship next time. Keep yourself happy and it will keep you safe.
Don't let a girl become your center of attention and focus of your life. Girls are partners, and they naturally are attracted to a happy person.
Good luck, and study science. Religion makes you believe in things like visions.
This girl believes in God. She no longer believes in your relationship with her. This means she takes God's guidance not only over your feelings, but her own. This is grand delusion of the highest order. I presume that tranquilizing her and sending her to an insane asylum would only make things worse for your relationship, even if it were to be for the overall benefit to her life. Imagine how great it would be if we could capture religious fanatics and throw them into insane asylums under the pretense of schizophrenia.
Sorry, got off on a biased tangent there. The way I see it, you have 3 paths ahead of you. It is up to you to choose one:
** The Good **
Convert to Christianity. HAHAHAHAHA just kidding. This path is the path of understanding and enlightenment. While I find it hard to believe that a borderline schizophrenic who uses an imaginary voice to decide which way your relationship will go has any sort of value as a human being, this path would determine whether or not this is the case. Remember, this is the path of good. So, be prepared to make disproportional sacrifices. If this person is really as great as you describe her to be, this might actually work, and not crash and burn like it does with most Christiansmorons.
In order to approach this in the correct fashion, it is important that you both read this quote and discuss it in detail. The road to enlightenment is the analyzing, understanding, and acceptance of those around you. What does this mean? It means that you must read the Bible, and she must read Atheist literature (I recommend you give her "The Gospel..." by Saramago first, then literature by Dawkins and Harris, there are also good YouTube videos on the matter). Only fools get all of their opinions from one book or author.This would only give you a better understanding of each other. If she is unwilling to do this, she is not worth your time. If you are unwilling to do this, I can't really blame you but the Bible is an interesting read, honestly. Never again will you have the chance to read a book that has changed history so greatly and affected so many people. In that sense, the Bible is amazing. Remember to be OPEN to everything - discussion, constructive argument, etc. For this you need to be educated in the matter, so I suggest you read the Atheist material as well if you have not done so already.
For other resources on the matter, I direct you to one of reddit's best subforums. This would be a good place to post your dilemma as well, but remember, as with any forum, you should read most of the top threads or do a search for your subject before you post. Although there are hilarious truisms like this one:
... It's not the best way to open a constructive conversation about religion. Choose your tools wisely. This is a much better option.
With any luck, if she has any shred of intellectual integrity, she should start seeing the flaws of her institution through the almost incontrovertible logic used by some of the greatest thinkers Atheism has to offer. This can be a really scary process, and r/atheism/ will be there to help you with that as well. I don't suggest you introduce her to /atheism until you've at least bridged that gap first, though. If she is still adamant about her beliefs, then you are just young and stupid for liking such a closed-minded person, but hey we've all liked our share of bitchy girls in our time. At least I certainly have. And the bitches I liked, well, they didn't have a convenient excuse like Christianity, and I still went after them. So, I am not trying to be a hypocrite by saying this, but sometimes a bitch is just a bitch, and there is nothing you can do.
The benefits:
A deeper understanding of each other and your beliefs
A sense of value to the relationship, because both of you make a sacrifice by doing this
A clean resolution either upon completion or failing to complete this task
Probably the most morally upright resolution to your situation
The cons:
She might hate you for trying to make her lose her faith
She might hate you for actually making her lose her faith
You have to read the entire Bible
You have to do tons of research because it is likely you are not fully knowledgeable in either field (Atheism and Christianity)
** The Bad **
Skip all the niceties. Learn a few logical fallacies that are present in any God-fearing person's mind, thanks to the Bible. Then, exploit them ruthlessly using scripture quotes to make her accept that she does not live by the Bible, and is only selectively choosing what to believe and what not to, something that is in itself strictly forbidden by the Bible. R/Atheism will once again be the guiding light in this endeavor. Here are some of my personal favorite examples of Christians getting raped by logic (as if the priests weren't enough):
Remember, that if you want this method to work, you have to do it under the guise of benevolence. What I mean is, even though you are being aggressive in your tactics, don't be aggressive in your words. Just counter every argument she has for the existence of God with fact. Cite things like the chemical effects of prayer on the brain and how they simulate a euphoria that can be achieved on drugs, and therefore can lead to addiction, for example.
"Speak softly but carry a big stick; you will go far." -- Theodore Roosevelt
You speaking softly is due to your caring for her and due to you using tact to subdue her Christian nonsense. Your big stick is the logical superiority of Atheism.
The benefits:
You can make her doubt her religion without doing much research
The cons:
She might hate you for trying to make her lose her faith
She might hate you for actually making her lose her faith
You may come off as a dick (despite your best efforts), however this is normal when dealing with the ignorant
** The Ugly **
This is if you're being really devious, or if the previous two approaches didn't work. Here's the plan.
You buy two walkie-talkies. When she away at her next camp retreat or whatever, stakeout her house for a night or two to see her family's sleeping patterns. Then you burn the house down while they sleep, and tell her that her merciful God this to her, and that you are there to support her even though God left her. Just kidding, you can either tell her parents that you left something in her room and ask to go look for it (I don't know how close you are to her family so this might not be an option), or you break into her room. Most people don't lock their windows anymore, at least not in nice neighborhoods. If she is on the second story, tough cookies, you have to get a ladder. When you're safely inside, you hide the walkie-talkie somewhere. Make sure to do this shortly before she arrives, so that it doesn't lose charge.
On her first night back, wait for her to turn off the lights in her room. Run up to the house to minimize static, and start the master plan.
"HELLO, ________, THIS IS GOD SPEAKING. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR GOING TO BIBLE CAMP. BUT, HAS THE BIBLE MADE YOU BLIND TO GOD'S WILL, THROUGH THE WORDS OF ITS PREACHERS?"
Leave it at that. She will muse on this for a while, I am sure. Also, the more you speak, the more obvious it is that its just a walkie-talkie in her air vent or something. Think of something clever for every night - it should build up to the fact that God wants all of his children to have successful relationships regardless of color or creed, and that tolerance is the path to enlightenment. I'm sure she will have second thoughts shortly after.
The benefits:
No research needed
Boss as hell
James Bond training
The cons:
Potential jailtime
Potential for her to hate you and think you are a creep
Lots of time wasted watching a Christian family's house
This girl believes in God. She no longer believes in your relationship with her. This means she takes God's guidance not only over your feelings, but her own. This is grand delusion of the highest order. I presume that tranquilizing her and sending her to an insane asylum would only make things worse for your relationship, even if it were to be for the overall benefit to her life. Imagine how great it would be if we could capture religious fanatics and throw them into insane asylums under the pretense of schizophrenia.
Sorry, got off on a biased tangent there. The way I see it, you have 3 paths ahead of you. It is up to you to choose one:
** The Good **
Convert to Christianity. HAHAHAHAHA just kidding. This path is the path of understanding and enlightenment. While I find it hard to believe that a borderline schizophrenic who uses an imaginary voice to decide which way your relationship will go has any sort of value as a human being, this path would determine whether or not this is the case. Remember, this is the path of good. So, be prepared to make disproportional sacrifices. If this person is really as great as you describe her to be, this might actually work, and not crash and burn like it does with most Christiansmorons.
In order to approach this in the correct fashion, it is important that you both read this quote and discuss it in detail. The road to enlightenment is the analyzing, understanding, and acceptance of those around you. What does this mean? It means that you must read the Bible, and she must read Atheist literature (I recommend you give her "The Gospel..." by Saramago first, then literature by Dawkins and Harris, there are also good YouTube videos on the matter). Only fools get all of their opinions from one book or author.This would only give you a better understanding of each other. If she is unwilling to do this, she is not worth your time. If you are unwilling to do this, I can't really blame you but the Bible is an interesting read, honestly. Never again will you have the chance to read a book that has changed history so greatly and affected so many people. In that sense, the Bible is amazing. Remember to be OPEN to everything - discussion, constructive argument, etc. For this you need to be educated in the matter, so I suggest you read the Atheist material as well if you have not done so already.
For other resources on the matter, I direct you to one of reddit's best subforums. This would be a good place to post your dilemma as well, but remember, as with any forum, you should read most of the top threads or do a search for your subject before you post. Although there are hilarious truisms like this one:
... It's not the best way to open a constructive conversation about religion. Choose your tools wisely. This is a much better option.
With any luck, if she has any shred of intellectual integrity, she should start seeing the flaws of her institution through the almost incontrovertible logic used by some of the greatest thinkers Atheism has to offer. This can be a really scary process, and r/atheism/ will be there to help you with that as well. I don't suggest you introduce her to /atheism until you've at least bridged that gap first, though. If she is still adamant about her beliefs, then you are just young and stupid for liking such a closed-minded person, but hey we've all liked our share of bitchy girls in our time. At least I certainly have. And the bitches I liked, well, they didn't have a convenient excuse like Christianity, and I still went after them. So, I am not trying to be a hypocrite by saying this, but sometimes a bitch is just a bitch, and there is nothing you can do.
The benefits:
A deeper understanding of each other and your beliefs
A sense of value to the relationship, because both of you make a sacrifice by doing this
A clean resolution either upon completion or failing to complete this task
Probably the most morally upright resolution to your situation
The cons:
She might hate you for trying to make her lose her faith
She might hate you for actually making her lose her faith
You have to read the entire Bible
You have to do tons of research because it is likely you are not fully knowledgeable in either field (Atheism and Christianity)
** The Bad **
Skip all the niceties. Learn a few logical fallacies that are present in any God-fearing person's mind, thanks to the Bible. Then, exploit them ruthlessly using scripture quotes to make her accept that she does not live by the Bible, and is only selectively choosing what to believe and what not to, something that is in itself strictly forbidden by the Bible. R/Atheism will once again be the guiding light in this endeavor. Here are some of my personal favorite examples of Christians getting raped by logic (as if the priests weren't enough):
Remember, that if you want this method to work, you have to do it under the guise of benevolence. What I mean is, even though you are being aggressive in your tactics, don't be aggressive in your words. Just counter every argument she has for the existence of God with fact. Cite things like the chemical effects of prayer on the brain and how they simulate a euphoria that can be achieved on drugs, and therefore can lead to addiction, for example.
"Speak softly but carry a big stick; you will go far." -- Theodore Roosevelt
You speaking softly is due to your caring for her and due to you using tact to subdue her Christian nonsense. Your big stick is the logical superiority of Atheism.
The benefits:
You can make her doubt her religion without doing much research
The cons:
She might hate you for trying to make her lose her faith
She might hate you for actually making her lose her faith
You may come off as a dick (despite your best efforts), however this is normal when dealing with the ignorant
** The Ugly **
This is if you're being really devious, or if the previous two approaches didn't work. Here's the plan.
You buy two walkie-talkies. When she away at her next camp retreat or whatever, stakeout her house for a night or two to see her family's sleeping patterns. Then you burn the house down while they sleep, and tell her that her merciful God this to her, and that you are there to support her even though God left her. Just kidding, you can either tell her parents that you left something in her room and ask to go look for it (I don't know how close you are to her family so this might not be an option), or you break into her room. Most people don't lock their windows anymore, at least not in nice neighborhoods. If she is on the second story, tough cookies, you have to get a ladder. When you're safely inside, you hide the walkie-talkie somewhere. Make sure to do this shortly before she arrives, so that it doesn't lose charge.
On her first night back, wait for her to turn off the lights in her room. Run up to the house to minimize static, and start the master plan.
"HELLO, ________, THIS IS GOD SPEAKING. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU FOR GOING TO BIBLE CAMP. BUT, HAS THE BIBLE MADE YOU BLIND TO GOD'S WILL, THROUGH THE WORDS OF ITS PREACHERS?"
Leave it at that. She will muse on this for a while, I am sure. Also, the more you speak, the more obvious it is that its just a walkie-talkie in her air vent or something. Think of something clever for every night - it should build up to the fact that God wants all of his children to have successful relationships regardless of color or creed, and that tolerance is the path to enlightenment. I'm sure she will have second thoughts shortly after.
The benefits:
No research needed
Boss as hell
James Bond training
The cons:
Potential jailtime
Potential for her to hate you and think you are a creep
Lots of time wasted watching a Christian family's house
On July 13 2011 22:13 PartyBiscuit wrote: I will take this as a sincere blog post...I know it's hard but you are probably not going to last with this girl.
Sorry dude, but what he said. It's not because of anything you posted either. Chances are this relationship just won't last. We all remember the first one. It's a magical time that actually is really flawed and retarded in retrospect.
My first fall came around the same age and man we were inseperable. Everything you have said so far and more. Parents meeting. Vacations together. Shopping for a place to live. Looking back on it we were completely wrong for eachother. Just absolute polar opposites.
Science vs. Artsy Religion vs. Aetheism Liberal vs. Conservative
I could keep going on for a long time as to why we were completely different people. In the end we broke up because as much fun as we had together we realized it was just fun. We had our fun and eventually it was over. You can't be afraid to look at it pragmatically. If god is telling her to break up with you there is no argument. The ball is in her court. You can either wait for her to make her move or forfeit the game. Those are you options.
Maybe this relationship will work out, but if it doesn't you need to understand that dating is a string of failures. You don't want it to fail, but chances are it will. This isn't something that can be explained you just have to realize it. Learn it the hard way if you will. You will not and cannot get any advice on this issue that you don't want to hear. That's just how this works.
Don't get too worked up over this relationship. If you're holding out for sex or to mess around, play along with her religious thing and tell her she's special. If you're looking for something long term, find out if she really cares about you; easy to figure out based on their actions. Best of luck and don't beat yourself up if this relationship doesn't work; just go out and meet new people.
I wasn't a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant. I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and "true love conquers all" etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are "liberated" (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today's society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.
I'd like to point out that I am not a misogynist...I love women. But I AM a sexist, in the sense that I believe women are vastly different than men and, according to the standards that men hold for other men, women are inferior as well.
I must be a bitter loser, right? In fact, I enjoy more success with women than most of the men in this city. I have slept with over 200 women in my life. I am sleeping with 5 different women right now. They are all normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking (8+ on the looks scale) professional women. (At least as normal and healthy and well-adjusted as women can be - most women have issues.) But that's not all. I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can pick her up in front of all her friends (with 80% efficiency for each approach.) Women will slip me their phone number when their boyfriend is in the bathroom. I can talk to women on the street or in the grocery store and within 30 minutes, I can usually have sex with them right there in my car or get them back to my place. If I have to settle for a phone number, and I meet her on another day, assuming she doesn't flake, I WILL fuck her that next day.
Let me point out right now that my Modus Operandi doesn't change in the slightest if she single or if she has a boyfriend or husband. I just do my normal routine and I fuck her. Sometimes she brings up the boyfriend so she won't feel guilty when I fuck her because now it's "my fault." Sometimes she hides it from me until after I've fucked her, then she admits it. I can't tell you how many times I've been laying next to some chick, all sweaty cause I just finished busting a nut all over her face or in her mouth or on her back, and suddenly her phone rings and she's on the phone with her man, giving him some bullshit story. This is with NO GUILT WHATSOEVER!!! The sweetest most innocent girls you ever laid eyes on, will cheat at the drop of a HAT. The one thing that most men value most - loyalty - is just not there with women. Women don't think in terms of honor, women don't say "word is bond;" women are basically emotionally driven. If they feel it, they do it, period. Then they rationalize it to themselves later. Nothing is more meaningful, or compelling, to a woman than (1) the way she feels and (2) learning more about her own inner self and having emotional realizations. That's why women love astrology, chick flicks, soap operas, stupid Cosmo quizes that supposedly reveal info about yourself, etc.
I must be really good looking, right? NOPE. My looks are marginal; I'm maybe a 7. I don't work out (though I'm not fat or anything.) In fact I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's. That's when I decided to go out a lot and start trying to get laid... I was willing to face rejection a thousand times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything, until I got it right. I had to completely set my ego aside. I didn't get laid at all for the first few months. Then every now and then. Then pretty often. Then downright consistently! I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school. The ONLY factor that determined whether a woman would cheat was my own skill level. When my skills were poor, women shit all over me. (Everyone knows how women think they have license to be rude bitches in social situations... in fact I understand and appreciate that behavior now.) But once my skills got good, I could fuck just about anyone's wife or girlfriend. And many times I didn't know they had a man until after I fucked them.
Look, I'm not saying that men are perfect, or whatever. Far from it. I'm just saying, I've spent a lot of my time studying women and interacting with them, and I know how they are. In fact, sometimes I hate knowing it. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill, and never went down the rabbit hole, because now there's really no going back. I didn't want to believe these things... but how could I ever get married now? How could I ever be the chump who pays for everything and blissfully goes through life not worrying about his woman because he trusts her? Look, would you leave your dog alone with a steak? You can't hate the dog for doing what's in its nature. You can't trust a dog, BUT you can trust a dog to BE a dog. Some men are disloyal... but I could *never* trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad presidents...but I could *never* vote for a woman to be president. I can rarely expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment. She will rationalize it to herself later.
Here's an interesting fact. Did you know that the median 22 year old woman has TWICE as much sex as the median 22 year old man? You might ask, how is that possible? If a woman's having sex, doesn't that mean a man is having sex at the same time? And thus, shouldn't men be having just as much sex as women? NO...because most men hardly get laid, or if they do, it's because they "got lucky." But a small group of men get laid ALL THE TIME, and fuck LOTS AND LOTS of women! It's evolution at work. Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men like me (who know how to control female emotions.) Women want the top man...so the top man fucks lots of women. That's right - the sexual revolution, feminism, etc has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their own emotions, are volunteering for the modern-day equivalent of harems. Lucky for me!! Heh.
You might say, "But...but...I'm so nice! I'm a nice guy!" Guess what? That's like a fat chick saying, "But I'm so smart!" As if those things have anything in the world to do with sexual attraction!
I'm going to give some tips here for the poor sucker guys who are posting online trying to get laid and who are spending hundreds / thousands of dollars on all those whores out there without getting any play. (You bitches know exactly what you're doing, and I'm on to your game!)
Don't be sexually judgemental in any way. A woman's worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. She will suck your toes and take it in the ass if she thinks you don't view her poorly for it (and she knows her friends won't find out.)
Don't get angry at her. Women know they have emotional outbursts and they need to trust that you can handle that. It's ok (and necessary) to occasionally put your foot down...just make sure she knows you are fully in control of yourself.
Don't let her manipulate you or control you in any way. She will immediately lose all respect for you. Always be leading. It's just like dancing - women hate a man who can't lead. When first approaching a woman or a group, they tend to get a feeling like this is just your little scheme to get close to them, when you really just want something from them - like sex. (And they're right.) It's important to structure your body language and conversation so that they honestly don't believe you want something from them. They should feel like you are about to leave at any second.
DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS HER IN ANY WAY. Don't show off. Don't talk about accomplishments or possessions. As soon as she perceives that you are trying to prove yourself to her, she loses all interest.
Don't ignore her friends. A woman values her friend's opinions more than just about anything else in the world. Nothing matters to her more than what other women are thinking. Give her friends lots of attention and get everyone laughing. If one woman is feeling different than the others, she will drag them away. They will follow like a flock of pigeons. Society is the book of women. (Notice that men do NOT behave this way! Women are very different!)
To get a woman attracted / emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don't just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that "I can't believe you just said that" look, do NOT back down, do not say "Oh I'm just kidding" or anything like that.
As she gets more emotional, she will try to ruin things by throwing in logic. She will ask you if you are a player, or if you say this to all the girls, or whatever. The trick is this: Don't take it seriously by giving it some logical answer! That's right...women lose interest if you take them seriously!!! It's crazy but that's how they behave. Just blow it off or misinterpret what she's saying as though she is coming on to you. If you fail these tests, she will be gone so fast your head will spin.
She will start asking you lots of questions. This is what chicks do when they suddenly find themselves attracted to a man they know nothing about. This is your chance to open up a little and also find out more about her and build a deeper connection. You have to do this, or she will flake later (even if you've kissed her!) Women are the worst flakes in the world! Don't make it too easy for her, make her work for it a bit. Then talk about connections and childhood memories and things you have in common, etc. She needs to feel that this is genuine. This is usually the time when I throw in a few fake vulnerabilities, like pretending I'm shy or insecure about something. I know it's fucked up but women need to see that there are at least a few small holes where they can sink their hooks in you. They get uneasy if you are too perfect.
Make sure she gets the feeling that you have standards and that you are judging her based on them. Ask her questions that show her you are checking her out to see if she is up to snuff. Women don't like to feel like you are with them only because you can't do any better. They prefer to feel like you have high standards; you can get any chick you want, but you chose HER because she is SOOOO special and SOOOO different from all the others. Yeah, I know.
Move her to different locations. Take her next door for a drink. Take her across the street to check out some art. The more locations the better. Take responsibility for every escalation. A woman will do just about anything as long as she doesn't have to feel like it was "her fault." Make it YOUR fault. Make it "just happen." She will rationalize it to herself later using the same bullshit generator that women use to flake out on dates at the last minute. Don't get her horny until you get her isolated. Believe me, emotional is better than horny.
Keep the woman always swinging somewhere between validation and rejection. If she feels rejected, she drops out or gets REALLY MAD. And if she feels too validated, she will ditch you in a heartbeat. So push her away (emotionally) and then pull her back in.
BELIEVE YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. Chicks do not look at your excuses and try to see if they are bullshit or not... because that is the logical thing to do, and chicks are not logical. Rather, what they do is see if YOU seem to believe your own bullshit when you say it. If you look like you do, then chances are, they will believe it too. So the key is to believe your own bullshit, and other aspects about yourself that you want the chick to believe about you too (alpha male..whatever)... because your own self beliefs for some reason will automatically 'impart' to the chick! One more thing...many guys make the mistake of listening to female romantic advice. Don't listen to them, THEY DON'T KNOW WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, and they WILL steer you wrong. They will tell you what they
THINK they want, instead of what they actually RESPOND to. And furthermore, a large part of the female sexual experience IS the inability to admit these things BECAUSE they derive sexual pleasure from putting up resistance and being overwhelmed.
If you do things this way, after a few months practice you WILL get laid like a rock star. The guys who get laid are the ones who know what they are doing, because they have practiced on lots of women. Ironically, women are most attracted to the men who are most likely to fuck them and then dump them on their ass - because those are precisely the men who have so many other options because they practice on lots of women. That's why you always hear women bitching about how men are assholes that only want to fuck them and dump them - because those are the men that they gravitate to.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
Ahahaha this is the one of the best posts on TL. Can someone please explain to me how this goldmine of knowledge went so unacknowledged?
haha, ILOVEKITTENS is too good. his good answer is pretty good and is actually probably the best way to go about having a healthy long term relationship.
anyway, I was about to make another generic post about how a relationship where she's your #1 and god's her #1 can't work but then I decided to take the time to read the thread and think about it...
you guys are 17 and chances are that what everyone else is telling you in here is right. you guys will probably go to college, get bored of each other, etc, w/e and break up in a couple years at the latest. but you don't necessarily have to let God camp craziness ruin the relationship right away. I mean, she's a 17 year old girl who's probably having people shove fire and brimstone down her throat for the duration of these religious camps and is in an especially crazy religious state when she's talking about her "visions" or whatever.
so ok, I'd probably just drop her if I were in your shoes, but I'm not stupid enough to believe that you're just going to drop this girl because TL told you to on the internet after reading your posts. you've clearly fallen pretty hard for her and need to give her some sort of chance here. so here's what you should do IMO to try to give the relationship a chance:
reassure her that the relationship is going well and explain that dwelling on her vision will inevitably be a self fulfilling prophecy.
pretty basic and simple stuff that you were going to do anyway, but there's no nice longwinded answer to this. if she continues to freak out about it, you just need to continue to be levelheaded about reassuring her until you can no longer take it at which point you just let the relationship go, but ideally your reassurances coupled with there being no signs of your relationship actually failing will turn her around on the issue. a nice little side effect of this is that it will make her doubt her beliefs and segue into talks along the lines of what ILOVEKITTENS is telling you in the non-troll portion of his response.
For the record dude, the fact that you've come on here asking for our advice, as opposed to straight out ending it (which I think we would all do in this situation wouldn't we?) is to me a clear indication that you truly give a damn about this relationship, Gotta give props to that, and really hope that it works out for you.
I wasn't a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant. I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and "true love conquers all" etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are "liberated" (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today's society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.
I'd like to point out that I am not a misogynist...I love women. But I AM a sexist, in the sense that I believe women are vastly different than men and, according to the standards that men hold for other men, women are inferior as well.
I must be a bitter loser, right? In fact, I enjoy more success with women than most of the men in this city. I have slept with over 200 women in my life. I am sleeping with 5 different women right now. They are all normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking (8+ on the looks scale) professional women. (At least as normal and healthy and well-adjusted as women can be - most women have issues.) But that's not all. I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can pick her up in front of all her friends (with 80% efficiency for each approach.) Women will slip me their phone number when their boyfriend is in the bathroom. I can talk to women on the street or in the grocery store and within 30 minutes, I can usually have sex with them right there in my car or get them back to my place. If I have to settle for a phone number, and I meet her on another day, assuming she doesn't flake, I WILL fuck her that next day.
Let me point out right now that my Modus Operandi doesn't change in the slightest if she single or if she has a boyfriend or husband. I just do my normal routine and I fuck her. Sometimes she brings up the boyfriend so she won't feel guilty when I fuck her because now it's "my fault." Sometimes she hides it from me until after I've fucked her, then she admits it. I can't tell you how many times I've been laying next to some chick, all sweaty cause I just finished busting a nut all over her face or in her mouth or on her back, and suddenly her phone rings and she's on the phone with her man, giving him some bullshit story. This is with NO GUILT WHATSOEVER!!! The sweetest most innocent girls you ever laid eyes on, will cheat at the drop of a HAT. The one thing that most men value most - loyalty - is just not there with women. Women don't think in terms of honor, women don't say "word is bond;" women are basically emotionally driven. If they feel it, they do it, period. Then they rationalize it to themselves later. Nothing is more meaningful, or compelling, to a woman than (1) the way she feels and (2) learning more about her own inner self and having emotional realizations. That's why women love astrology, chick flicks, soap operas, stupid Cosmo quizes that supposedly reveal info about yourself, etc.
I must be really good looking, right? NOPE. My looks are marginal; I'm maybe a 7. I don't work out (though I'm not fat or anything.) In fact I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's. That's when I decided to go out a lot and start trying to get laid... I was willing to face rejection a thousand times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything, until I got it right. I had to completely set my ego aside. I didn't get laid at all for the first few months. Then every now and then. Then pretty often. Then downright consistently! I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school. The ONLY factor that determined whether a woman would cheat was my own skill level. When my skills were poor, women shit all over me. (Everyone knows how women think they have license to be rude bitches in social situations... in fact I understand and appreciate that behavior now.) But once my skills got good, I could fuck just about anyone's wife or girlfriend. And many times I didn't know they had a man until after I fucked them.
Look, I'm not saying that men are perfect, or whatever. Far from it. I'm just saying, I've spent a lot of my time studying women and interacting with them, and I know how they are. In fact, sometimes I hate knowing it. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill, and never went down the rabbit hole, because now there's really no going back. I didn't want to believe these things... but how could I ever get married now? How could I ever be the chump who pays for everything and blissfully goes through life not worrying about his woman because he trusts her? Look, would you leave your dog alone with a steak? You can't hate the dog for doing what's in its nature. You can't trust a dog, BUT you can trust a dog to BE a dog. Some men are disloyal... but I could *never* trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad presidents...but I could *never* vote for a woman to be president. I can rarely expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment. She will rationalize it to herself later.
Here's an interesting fact. Did you know that the median 22 year old woman has TWICE as much sex as the median 22 year old man? You might ask, how is that possible? If a woman's having sex, doesn't that mean a man is having sex at the same time? And thus, shouldn't men be having just as much sex as women? NO...because most men hardly get laid, or if they do, it's because they "got lucky." But a small group of men get laid ALL THE TIME, and fuck LOTS AND LOTS of women! It's evolution at work. Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men like me (who know how to control female emotions.) Women want the top man...so the top man fucks lots of women. That's right - the sexual revolution, feminism, etc has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their own emotions, are volunteering for the modern-day equivalent of harems. Lucky for me!! Heh.
You might say, "But...but...I'm so nice! I'm a nice guy!" Guess what? That's like a fat chick saying, "But I'm so smart!" As if those things have anything in the world to do with sexual attraction!
I'm going to give some tips here for the poor sucker guys who are posting online trying to get laid and who are spending hundreds / thousands of dollars on all those whores out there without getting any play. (You bitches know exactly what you're doing, and I'm on to your game!)
Don't be sexually judgemental in any way. A woman's worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. She will suck your toes and take it in the ass if she thinks you don't view her poorly for it (and she knows her friends won't find out.)
Don't get angry at her. Women know they have emotional outbursts and they need to trust that you can handle that. It's ok (and necessary) to occasionally put your foot down...just make sure she knows you are fully in control of yourself.
Don't let her manipulate you or control you in any way. She will immediately lose all respect for you. Always be leading. It's just like dancing - women hate a man who can't lead. When first approaching a woman or a group, they tend to get a feeling like this is just your little scheme to get close to them, when you really just want something from them - like sex. (And they're right.) It's important to structure your body language and conversation so that they honestly don't believe you want something from them. They should feel like you are about to leave at any second.
DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS HER IN ANY WAY. Don't show off. Don't talk about accomplishments or possessions. As soon as she perceives that you are trying to prove yourself to her, she loses all interest.
Don't ignore her friends. A woman values her friend's opinions more than just about anything else in the world. Nothing matters to her more than what other women are thinking. Give her friends lots of attention and get everyone laughing. If one woman is feeling different than the others, she will drag them away. They will follow like a flock of pigeons. Society is the book of women. (Notice that men do NOT behave this way! Women are very different!)
To get a woman attracted / emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don't just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that "I can't believe you just said that" look, do NOT back down, do not say "Oh I'm just kidding" or anything like that.
As she gets more emotional, she will try to ruin things by throwing in logic. She will ask you if you are a player, or if you say this to all the girls, or whatever. The trick is this: Don't take it seriously by giving it some logical answer! That's right...women lose interest if you take them seriously!!! It's crazy but that's how they behave. Just blow it off or misinterpret what she's saying as though she is coming on to you. If you fail these tests, she will be gone so fast your head will spin.
She will start asking you lots of questions. This is what chicks do when they suddenly find themselves attracted to a man they know nothing about. This is your chance to open up a little and also find out more about her and build a deeper connection. You have to do this, or she will flake later (even if you've kissed her!) Women are the worst flakes in the world! Don't make it too easy for her, make her work for it a bit. Then talk about connections and childhood memories and things you have in common, etc. She needs to feel that this is genuine. This is usually the time when I throw in a few fake vulnerabilities, like pretending I'm shy or insecure about something. I know it's fucked up but women need to see that there are at least a few small holes where they can sink their hooks in you. They get uneasy if you are too perfect.
Make sure she gets the feeling that you have standards and that you are judging her based on them. Ask her questions that show her you are checking her out to see if she is up to snuff. Women don't like to feel like you are with them only because you can't do any better. They prefer to feel like you have high standards; you can get any chick you want, but you chose HER because she is SOOOO special and SOOOO different from all the others. Yeah, I know.
Move her to different locations. Take her next door for a drink. Take her across the street to check out some art. The more locations the better. Take responsibility for every escalation. A woman will do just about anything as long as she doesn't have to feel like it was "her fault." Make it YOUR fault. Make it "just happen." She will rationalize it to herself later using the same bullshit generator that women use to flake out on dates at the last minute. Don't get her horny until you get her isolated. Believe me, emotional is better than horny.
Keep the woman always swinging somewhere between validation and rejection. If she feels rejected, she drops out or gets REALLY MAD. And if she feels too validated, she will ditch you in a heartbeat. So push her away (emotionally) and then pull her back in.
BELIEVE YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. Chicks do not look at your excuses and try to see if they are bullshit or not... because that is the logical thing to do, and chicks are not logical. Rather, what they do is see if YOU seem to believe your own bullshit when you say it. If you look like you do, then chances are, they will believe it too. So the key is to believe your own bullshit, and other aspects about yourself that you want the chick to believe about you too (alpha male..whatever)... because your own self beliefs for some reason will automatically 'impart' to the chick! One more thing...many guys make the mistake of listening to female romantic advice. Don't listen to them, THEY DON'T KNOW WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, and they WILL steer you wrong. They will tell you what they
THINK they want, instead of what they actually RESPOND to. And furthermore, a large part of the female sexual experience IS the inability to admit these things BECAUSE they derive sexual pleasure from putting up resistance and being overwhelmed.
If you do things this way, after a few months practice you WILL get laid like a rock star. The guys who get laid are the ones who know what they are doing, because they have practiced on lots of women. Ironically, women are most attracted to the men who are most likely to fuck them and then dump them on their ass - because those are precisely the men who have so many other options because they practice on lots of women. That's why you always hear women bitching about how men are assholes that only want to fuck them and dump them - because those are the men that they gravitate to.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
On July 14 2011 01:21 zenMaster wrote: I would dump the girl on the spot if she suggested that she cares about an invisible bearded magical man in the sky more than me.
I wholeheartedly concur. Anyways, if she believes that it won't work out and her invisible friend is telling her that in advance, it's not going to work out for sure, straight up placebo effect.
Anyways, it's probably her own doubts manifesting themselves in the way her brain is trained to rationalize everything. Religion and relationships don't mix well, IMO.
The first girlfriend I had, went to a church retreat about a week after I asked her out. We were talking for approximately 3-5 hours a day prior to that retreat and seemed to be a very solid couple. When she came back, seemingly out of the blue without even talking to me about it she broke up with me claiming she wasn't ready for a relationship.
I'm not blaming christian camps or anything, myself being christian but damn, that is an unsettling coincidence
On July 14 2011 00:36 Mogwai wrote: a nice little side effect of this is that it will make her doubt her beliefs and segue into talks along the lines of what ILOVEKITTENS is telling you in the non-troll portion of his response.
It's really distressing me how much "making her doubt her beliefs" is popping up. I mean, it makes sense since if she doubts her belief she can doubt the "vision", but I think that's the wrong approach. She has clearly stated that God is #1 in her life. She also seems active in her faith and believes in supernatural occurances such as revelations (which means she has embraced the part of faith that makes no rational sense plus an extra level not every Christian will even agree with). Therefore, trying to make her doubt her belief system is only going to create a giant rift between the two if not end them entirely. The OP clearly states he doesn't want this to happen. He also states he doesn't want to compete with God, and that's exactly what planting the seeds of doubt will do.
I believe ILOVEKITTENS left out another option:
The Neutral
*accept the fundamental difference of beliefs *don't make any big decisions until you can see each other again *ask her very plainly if she likes you and wants to be with you
Pros *nonconfrontational *no long distance shenanigans *simple and to the point *she keeps her beliefs, you keep yours (?)
Cons *she keeps her beliefs, you keep yours (?) *you have to wait three weeks *she could say 'no' and break up
Dating someone in a relationship described as fun doesn't seem serious enough to warrant questioning whether it's a big deal to date someone in a different belief system. Clearly you two like each other, so as long as you don't go stepping on each others' toes what is the harm?
I wasn't a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant. I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and "true love conquers all" etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are "liberated" (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today's society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.
I'd like to point out that I am not a misogynist...I love women. But I AM a sexist, in the sense that I believe women are vastly different than men and, according to the standards that men hold for other men, women are inferior as well.
I must be a bitter loser, right? In fact, I enjoy more success with women than most of the men in this city. I have slept with over 200 women in my life. I am sleeping with 5 different women right now. They are all normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking (8+ on the looks scale) professional women. (At least as normal and healthy and well-adjusted as women can be - most women have issues.) But that's not all. I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can pick her up in front of all her friends (with 80% efficiency for each approach.) Women will slip me their phone number when their boyfriend is in the bathroom. I can talk to women on the street or in the grocery store and within 30 minutes, I can usually have sex with them right there in my car or get them back to my place. If I have to settle for a phone number, and I meet her on another day, assuming she doesn't flake, I WILL fuck her that next day.
Let me point out right now that my Modus Operandi doesn't change in the slightest if she single or if she has a boyfriend or husband. I just do my normal routine and I fuck her. Sometimes she brings up the boyfriend so she won't feel guilty when I fuck her because now it's "my fault." Sometimes she hides it from me until after I've fucked her, then she admits it. I can't tell you how many times I've been laying next to some chick, all sweaty cause I just finished busting a nut all over her face or in her mouth or on her back, and suddenly her phone rings and she's on the phone with her man, giving him some bullshit story. This is with NO GUILT WHATSOEVER!!! The sweetest most innocent girls you ever laid eyes on, will cheat at the drop of a HAT. The one thing that most men value most - loyalty - is just not there with women. Women don't think in terms of honor, women don't say "word is bond;" women are basically emotionally driven. If they feel it, they do it, period. Then they rationalize it to themselves later. Nothing is more meaningful, or compelling, to a woman than (1) the way she feels and (2) learning more about her own inner self and having emotional realizations. That's why women love astrology, chick flicks, soap operas, stupid Cosmo quizes that supposedly reveal info about yourself, etc.
I must be really good looking, right? NOPE. My looks are marginal; I'm maybe a 7. I don't work out (though I'm not fat or anything.) In fact I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's. That's when I decided to go out a lot and start trying to get laid... I was willing to face rejection a thousand times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything, until I got it right. I had to completely set my ego aside. I didn't get laid at all for the first few months. Then every now and then. Then pretty often. Then downright consistently! I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school. The ONLY factor that determined whether a woman would cheat was my own skill level. When my skills were poor, women shit all over me. (Everyone knows how women think they have license to be rude bitches in social situations... in fact I understand and appreciate that behavior now.) But once my skills got good, I could fuck just about anyone's wife or girlfriend. And many times I didn't know they had a man until after I fucked them.
Look, I'm not saying that men are perfect, or whatever. Far from it. I'm just saying, I've spent a lot of my time studying women and interacting with them, and I know how they are. In fact, sometimes I hate knowing it. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill, and never went down the rabbit hole, because now there's really no going back. I didn't want to believe these things... but how could I ever get married now? How could I ever be the chump who pays for everything and blissfully goes through life not worrying about his woman because he trusts her? Look, would you leave your dog alone with a steak? You can't hate the dog for doing what's in its nature. You can't trust a dog, BUT you can trust a dog to BE a dog. Some men are disloyal... but I could *never* trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad presidents...but I could *never* vote for a woman to be president. I can rarely expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment. She will rationalize it to herself later.
Here's an interesting fact. Did you know that the median 22 year old woman has TWICE as much sex as the median 22 year old man? You might ask, how is that possible? If a woman's having sex, doesn't that mean a man is having sex at the same time? And thus, shouldn't men be having just as much sex as women? NO...because most men hardly get laid, or if they do, it's because they "got lucky." But a small group of men get laid ALL THE TIME, and fuck LOTS AND LOTS of women! It's evolution at work. Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men like me (who know how to control female emotions.) Women want the top man...so the top man fucks lots of women. That's right - the sexual revolution, feminism, etc has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their own emotions, are volunteering for the modern-day equivalent of harems. Lucky for me!! Heh.
You might say, "But...but...I'm so nice! I'm a nice guy!" Guess what? That's like a fat chick saying, "But I'm so smart!" As if those things have anything in the world to do with sexual attraction!
I'm going to give some tips here for the poor sucker guys who are posting online trying to get laid and who are spending hundreds / thousands of dollars on all those whores out there without getting any play. (You bitches know exactly what you're doing, and I'm on to your game!)
Don't be sexually judgemental in any way. A woman's worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. She will suck your toes and take it in the ass if she thinks you don't view her poorly for it (and she knows her friends won't find out.)
Don't get angry at her. Women know they have emotional outbursts and they need to trust that you can handle that. It's ok (and necessary) to occasionally put your foot down...just make sure she knows you are fully in control of yourself.
Don't let her manipulate you or control you in any way. She will immediately lose all respect for you. Always be leading. It's just like dancing - women hate a man who can't lead. When first approaching a woman or a group, they tend to get a feeling like this is just your little scheme to get close to them, when you really just want something from them - like sex. (And they're right.) It's important to structure your body language and conversation so that they honestly don't believe you want something from them. They should feel like you are about to leave at any second.
DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS HER IN ANY WAY. Don't show off. Don't talk about accomplishments or possessions. As soon as she perceives that you are trying to prove yourself to her, she loses all interest.
Don't ignore her friends. A woman values her friend's opinions more than just about anything else in the world. Nothing matters to her more than what other women are thinking. Give her friends lots of attention and get everyone laughing. If one woman is feeling different than the others, she will drag them away. They will follow like a flock of pigeons. Society is the book of women. (Notice that men do NOT behave this way! Women are very different!)
To get a woman attracted / emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don't just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that "I can't believe you just said that" look, do NOT back down, do not say "Oh I'm just kidding" or anything like that.
As she gets more emotional, she will try to ruin things by throwing in logic. She will ask you if you are a player, or if you say this to all the girls, or whatever. The trick is this: Don't take it seriously by giving it some logical answer! That's right...women lose interest if you take them seriously!!! It's crazy but that's how they behave. Just blow it off or misinterpret what she's saying as though she is coming on to you. If you fail these tests, she will be gone so fast your head will spin.
She will start asking you lots of questions. This is what chicks do when they suddenly find themselves attracted to a man they know nothing about. This is your chance to open up a little and also find out more about her and build a deeper connection. You have to do this, or she will flake later (even if you've kissed her!) Women are the worst flakes in the world! Don't make it too easy for her, make her work for it a bit. Then talk about connections and childhood memories and things you have in common, etc. She needs to feel that this is genuine. This is usually the time when I throw in a few fake vulnerabilities, like pretending I'm shy or insecure about something. I know it's fucked up but women need to see that there are at least a few small holes where they can sink their hooks in you. They get uneasy if you are too perfect.
Make sure she gets the feeling that you have standards and that you are judging her based on them. Ask her questions that show her you are checking her out to see if she is up to snuff. Women don't like to feel like you are with them only because you can't do any better. They prefer to feel like you have high standards; you can get any chick you want, but you chose HER because she is SOOOO special and SOOOO different from all the others. Yeah, I know.
Move her to different locations. Take her next door for a drink. Take her across the street to check out some art. The more locations the better. Take responsibility for every escalation. A woman will do just about anything as long as she doesn't have to feel like it was "her fault." Make it YOUR fault. Make it "just happen." She will rationalize it to herself later using the same bullshit generator that women use to flake out on dates at the last minute. Don't get her horny until you get her isolated. Believe me, emotional is better than horny.
Keep the woman always swinging somewhere between validation and rejection. If she feels rejected, she drops out or gets REALLY MAD. And if she feels too validated, she will ditch you in a heartbeat. So push her away (emotionally) and then pull her back in.
BELIEVE YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. Chicks do not look at your excuses and try to see if they are bullshit or not... because that is the logical thing to do, and chicks are not logical. Rather, what they do is see if YOU seem to believe your own bullshit when you say it. If you look like you do, then chances are, they will believe it too. So the key is to believe your own bullshit, and other aspects about yourself that you want the chick to believe about you too (alpha male..whatever)... because your own self beliefs for some reason will automatically 'impart' to the chick! One more thing...many guys make the mistake of listening to female romantic advice. Don't listen to them, THEY DON'T KNOW WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, and they WILL steer you wrong. They will tell you what they
THINK they want, instead of what they actually RESPOND to. And furthermore, a large part of the female sexual experience IS the inability to admit these things BECAUSE they derive sexual pleasure from putting up resistance and being overwhelmed.
If you do things this way, after a few months practice you WILL get laid like a rock star. The guys who get laid are the ones who know what they are doing, because they have practiced on lots of women. Ironically, women are most attracted to the men who are most likely to fuck them and then dump them on their ass - because those are precisely the men who have so many other options because they practice on lots of women. That's why you always hear women bitching about how men are assholes that only want to fuck them and dump them - because those are the men that they gravitate to.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
Sucks, but honestly once they have these "visions" or "dreams" the relationship is over. Same thing happened with my ex. She's very spiritual and she started having "dreams" of me leaving her, so she left me. What...
On July 14 2011 00:36 Mogwai wrote: a nice little side effect of this is that it will make her doubt her beliefs and segue into talks along the lines of what ILOVEKITTENS is telling you in the non-troll portion of his response.
It's really distressing me how much "making her doubt her beliefs" is popping up. I mean, it makes sense since if she doubts her belief she can doubt the "vision", but I think that's the wrong approach. She has clearly stated that God is #1 in her life. She also seems active in her faith and believes in supernatural occurances such as revelations (which means she has embraced the part of faith that makes no rational sense plus an extra level not every Christian will even agree with). Therefore, trying to make her doubt her belief system is only going to create a giant rift between the two if not end them entirely. The OP clearly states he doesn't want this to happen. He also states he doesn't want to compete with God, and that's exactly what planting the seeds of doubt will do.
I believe ILOVEKITTENS left out another option:
The Neutral
*accept the fundamental difference of beliefs *don't make any big decisions until you can see each other again *ask her very plainly if she likes you and wants to be with you
Pros *nonconfrontational *no long distance shenanigans *simple and to the point *she keeps her beliefs, you keep yours (?)
Cons *she keeps her beliefs, you keep yours (?) *you have to wait three weeks *she could say 'no' and break up
Dating someone in a relationship described as fun doesn't seem serious enough to warrant questioning whether it's a big deal to date someone in a different belief system. Clearly you two like each other, so as long as you don't go stepping on each others' toes what is the harm?
well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the OP has long term intentions here. 17 year old falls hard for a girl... I dunno, I tend to think of these as srsbsns intentions but that just be me projecting my 17 year old self onto the situation. if it's all in the name of just having a good time until High School is over, then yea sure, you're solution can work, but if he's looking for a real long term relationship here, I don't think it can really work if she's putting God first and he isn't. I dunno though, some people can make stuff work (for instance, I can't imagine marrying someone with drastically different political ideals, but some people seem to make it work *shrug*), so maybe again I'm projecting myself and what I'm comfortable getting over onto this situation. Just doesn't make sense to me how you could ever be OK with having someone be the #1 priority in your life only to be playing second fiddle in theirs to something you don't even believe in.
I wasn't a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant. I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and "true love conquers all" etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are "liberated" (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today's society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.
I'd like to point out that I am not a misogynist...I love women. But I AM a sexist, in the sense that I believe women are vastly different than men and, according to the standards that men hold for other men, women are inferior as well.
I must be a bitter loser, right? In fact, I enjoy more success with women than most of the men in this city. I have slept with over 200 women in my life. I am sleeping with 5 different women right now. They are all normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking (8+ on the looks scale) professional women. (At least as normal and healthy and well-adjusted as women can be - most women have issues.) But that's not all. I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can pick her up in front of all her friends (with 80% efficiency for each approach.) Women will slip me their phone number when their boyfriend is in the bathroom. I can talk to women on the street or in the grocery store and within 30 minutes, I can usually have sex with them right there in my car or get them back to my place. If I have to settle for a phone number, and I meet her on another day, assuming she doesn't flake, I WILL fuck her that next day.
Let me point out right now that my Modus Operandi doesn't change in the slightest if she single or if she has a boyfriend or husband. I just do my normal routine and I fuck her. Sometimes she brings up the boyfriend so she won't feel guilty when I fuck her because now it's "my fault." Sometimes she hides it from me until after I've fucked her, then she admits it. I can't tell you how many times I've been laying next to some chick, all sweaty cause I just finished busting a nut all over her face or in her mouth or on her back, and suddenly her phone rings and she's on the phone with her man, giving him some bullshit story. This is with NO GUILT WHATSOEVER!!! The sweetest most innocent girls you ever laid eyes on, will cheat at the drop of a HAT. The one thing that most men value most - loyalty - is just not there with women. Women don't think in terms of honor, women don't say "word is bond;" women are basically emotionally driven. If they feel it, they do it, period. Then they rationalize it to themselves later. Nothing is more meaningful, or compelling, to a woman than (1) the way she feels and (2) learning more about her own inner self and having emotional realizations. That's why women love astrology, chick flicks, soap operas, stupid Cosmo quizes that supposedly reveal info about yourself, etc.
I must be really good looking, right? NOPE. My looks are marginal; I'm maybe a 7. I don't work out (though I'm not fat or anything.) In fact I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's. That's when I decided to go out a lot and start trying to get laid... I was willing to face rejection a thousand times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything, until I got it right. I had to completely set my ego aside. I didn't get laid at all for the first few months. Then every now and then. Then pretty often. Then downright consistently! I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school. The ONLY factor that determined whether a woman would cheat was my own skill level. When my skills were poor, women shit all over me. (Everyone knows how women think they have license to be rude bitches in social situations... in fact I understand and appreciate that behavior now.) But once my skills got good, I could fuck just about anyone's wife or girlfriend. And many times I didn't know they had a man until after I fucked them.
Look, I'm not saying that men are perfect, or whatever. Far from it. I'm just saying, I've spent a lot of my time studying women and interacting with them, and I know how they are. In fact, sometimes I hate knowing it. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill, and never went down the rabbit hole, because now there's really no going back. I didn't want to believe these things... but how could I ever get married now? How could I ever be the chump who pays for everything and blissfully goes through life not worrying about his woman because he trusts her? Look, would you leave your dog alone with a steak? You can't hate the dog for doing what's in its nature. You can't trust a dog, BUT you can trust a dog to BE a dog. Some men are disloyal... but I could *never* trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad presidents...but I could *never* vote for a woman to be president. I can rarely expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment. She will rationalize it to herself later.
Here's an interesting fact. Did you know that the median 22 year old woman has TWICE as much sex as the median 22 year old man? You might ask, how is that possible? If a woman's having sex, doesn't that mean a man is having sex at the same time? And thus, shouldn't men be having just as much sex as women? NO...because most men hardly get laid, or if they do, it's because they "got lucky." But a small group of men get laid ALL THE TIME, and fuck LOTS AND LOTS of women! It's evolution at work. Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men like me (who know how to control female emotions.) Women want the top man...so the top man fucks lots of women. That's right - the sexual revolution, feminism, etc has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their own emotions, are volunteering for the modern-day equivalent of harems. Lucky for me!! Heh.
You might say, "But...but...I'm so nice! I'm a nice guy!" Guess what? That's like a fat chick saying, "But I'm so smart!" As if those things have anything in the world to do with sexual attraction!
I'm going to give some tips here for the poor sucker guys who are posting online trying to get laid and who are spending hundreds / thousands of dollars on all those whores out there without getting any play. (You bitches know exactly what you're doing, and I'm on to your game!)
Don't be sexually judgemental in any way. A woman's worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. She will suck your toes and take it in the ass if she thinks you don't view her poorly for it (and she knows her friends won't find out.)
Don't get angry at her. Women know they have emotional outbursts and they need to trust that you can handle that. It's ok (and necessary) to occasionally put your foot down...just make sure she knows you are fully in control of yourself.
Don't let her manipulate you or control you in any way. She will immediately lose all respect for you. Always be leading. It's just like dancing - women hate a man who can't lead. When first approaching a woman or a group, they tend to get a feeling like this is just your little scheme to get close to them, when you really just want something from them - like sex. (And they're right.) It's important to structure your body language and conversation so that they honestly don't believe you want something from them. They should feel like you are about to leave at any second.
DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS HER IN ANY WAY. Don't show off. Don't talk about accomplishments or possessions. As soon as she perceives that you are trying to prove yourself to her, she loses all interest.
Don't ignore her friends. A woman values her friend's opinions more than just about anything else in the world. Nothing matters to her more than what other women are thinking. Give her friends lots of attention and get everyone laughing. If one woman is feeling different than the others, she will drag them away. They will follow like a flock of pigeons. Society is the book of women. (Notice that men do NOT behave this way! Women are very different!)
To get a woman attracted / emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don't just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that "I can't believe you just said that" look, do NOT back down, do not say "Oh I'm just kidding" or anything like that.
As she gets more emotional, she will try to ruin things by throwing in logic. She will ask you if you are a player, or if you say this to all the girls, or whatever. The trick is this: Don't take it seriously by giving it some logical answer! That's right...women lose interest if you take them seriously!!! It's crazy but that's how they behave. Just blow it off or misinterpret what she's saying as though she is coming on to you. If you fail these tests, she will be gone so fast your head will spin.
She will start asking you lots of questions. This is what chicks do when they suddenly find themselves attracted to a man they know nothing about. This is your chance to open up a little and also find out more about her and build a deeper connection. You have to do this, or she will flake later (even if you've kissed her!) Women are the worst flakes in the world! Don't make it too easy for her, make her work for it a bit. Then talk about connections and childhood memories and things you have in common, etc. She needs to feel that this is genuine. This is usually the time when I throw in a few fake vulnerabilities, like pretending I'm shy or insecure about something. I know it's fucked up but women need to see that there are at least a few small holes where they can sink their hooks in you. They get uneasy if you are too perfect.
Make sure she gets the feeling that you have standards and that you are judging her based on them. Ask her questions that show her you are checking her out to see if she is up to snuff. Women don't like to feel like you are with them only because you can't do any better. They prefer to feel like you have high standards; you can get any chick you want, but you chose HER because she is SOOOO special and SOOOO different from all the others. Yeah, I know.
Move her to different locations. Take her next door for a drink. Take her across the street to check out some art. The more locations the better. Take responsibility for every escalation. A woman will do just about anything as long as she doesn't have to feel like it was "her fault." Make it YOUR fault. Make it "just happen." She will rationalize it to herself later using the same bullshit generator that women use to flake out on dates at the last minute. Don't get her horny until you get her isolated. Believe me, emotional is better than horny.
Keep the woman always swinging somewhere between validation and rejection. If she feels rejected, she drops out or gets REALLY MAD. And if she feels too validated, she will ditch you in a heartbeat. So push her away (emotionally) and then pull her back in.
BELIEVE YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. Chicks do not look at your excuses and try to see if they are bullshit or not... because that is the logical thing to do, and chicks are not logical. Rather, what they do is see if YOU seem to believe your own bullshit when you say it. If you look like you do, then chances are, they will believe it too. So the key is to believe your own bullshit, and other aspects about yourself that you want the chick to believe about you too (alpha male..whatever)... because your own self beliefs for some reason will automatically 'impart' to the chick! One more thing...many guys make the mistake of listening to female romantic advice. Don't listen to them, THEY DON'T KNOW WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, and they WILL steer you wrong. They will tell you what they
THINK they want, instead of what they actually RESPOND to. And furthermore, a large part of the female sexual experience IS the inability to admit these things BECAUSE they derive sexual pleasure from putting up resistance and being overwhelmed.
If you do things this way, after a few months practice you WILL get laid like a rock star. The guys who get laid are the ones who know what they are doing, because they have practiced on lots of women. Ironically, women are most attracted to the men who are most likely to fuck them and then dump them on their ass - because those are precisely the men who have so many other options because they practice on lots of women. That's why you always hear women bitching about how men are assholes that only want to fuck them and dump them - because those are the men that they gravitate to.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
I wasn't a sexist before I understood women. There was a time when I was blissfully ignorant. I grew up watching Disney cartoons, I believed in romance and "true love conquers all" etc. I wanted to find a woman who could be my equal, my partner. I believed in finding that one true love and being committed to each other forever. You know, like in the marriage vows, "for better or for worse, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer" etc. And I believed that women basically wanted the same thing. Now I understand that this was only possible when society was structured to enforce it. Now that women are "liberated" (and thus at the mercy of their own emotions and baser instincts) this is mostly no longer possible in today's society. Victorian society, or many Arab societies, are examples of how society used to be structured to keep women as faithful as possible.
I'd like to point out that I am not a misogynist...I love women. But I AM a sexist, in the sense that I believe women are vastly different than men and, according to the standards that men hold for other men, women are inferior as well.
I must be a bitter loser, right? In fact, I enjoy more success with women than most of the men in this city. I have slept with over 200 women in my life. I am sleeping with 5 different women right now. They are all normal, healthy, well-adjusted, good-looking (8+ on the looks scale) professional women. (At least as normal and healthy and well-adjusted as women can be - most women have issues.) But that's not all. I can go out any night of the week and pick up a woman. I can pick her up in front of all her friends (with 80% efficiency for each approach.) Women will slip me their phone number when their boyfriend is in the bathroom. I can talk to women on the street or in the grocery store and within 30 minutes, I can usually have sex with them right there in my car or get them back to my place. If I have to settle for a phone number, and I meet her on another day, assuming she doesn't flake, I WILL fuck her that next day.
Let me point out right now that my Modus Operandi doesn't change in the slightest if she single or if she has a boyfriend or husband. I just do my normal routine and I fuck her. Sometimes she brings up the boyfriend so she won't feel guilty when I fuck her because now it's "my fault." Sometimes she hides it from me until after I've fucked her, then she admits it. I can't tell you how many times I've been laying next to some chick, all sweaty cause I just finished busting a nut all over her face or in her mouth or on her back, and suddenly her phone rings and she's on the phone with her man, giving him some bullshit story. This is with NO GUILT WHATSOEVER!!! The sweetest most innocent girls you ever laid eyes on, will cheat at the drop of a HAT. The one thing that most men value most - loyalty - is just not there with women. Women don't think in terms of honor, women don't say "word is bond;" women are basically emotionally driven. If they feel it, they do it, period. Then they rationalize it to themselves later. Nothing is more meaningful, or compelling, to a woman than (1) the way she feels and (2) learning more about her own inner self and having emotional realizations. That's why women love astrology, chick flicks, soap operas, stupid Cosmo quizes that supposedly reveal info about yourself, etc.
I must be really good looking, right? NOPE. My looks are marginal; I'm maybe a 7. I don't work out (though I'm not fat or anything.) In fact I didn't have any success with women until I was in my early 20's. That's when I decided to go out a lot and start trying to get laid... I was willing to face rejection a thousand times a night, and do it over and over, trying everything, until I got it right. I had to completely set my ego aside. I didn't get laid at all for the first few months. Then every now and then. Then pretty often. Then downright consistently! I'm in my early 30's now and I am basically a sexual god. I wouldn't have even believed this were possible when I was in high school. The ONLY factor that determined whether a woman would cheat was my own skill level. When my skills were poor, women shit all over me. (Everyone knows how women think they have license to be rude bitches in social situations... in fact I understand and appreciate that behavior now.) But once my skills got good, I could fuck just about anyone's wife or girlfriend. And many times I didn't know they had a man until after I fucked them.
Look, I'm not saying that men are perfect, or whatever. Far from it. I'm just saying, I've spent a lot of my time studying women and interacting with them, and I know how they are. In fact, sometimes I hate knowing it. Sometimes I wish I had taken the blue pill, and never went down the rabbit hole, because now there's really no going back. I didn't want to believe these things... but how could I ever get married now? How could I ever be the chump who pays for everything and blissfully goes through life not worrying about his woman because he trusts her? Look, would you leave your dog alone with a steak? You can't hate the dog for doing what's in its nature. You can't trust a dog, BUT you can trust a dog to BE a dog. Some men are disloyal... but I could *never* trust a woman to be loyal. Some men are bad presidents...but I could *never* vote for a woman to be president. I can rarely expect a woman to regard her own promises as more important and compelling to her than the emotions she feels in the moment. She will rationalize it to herself later.
Here's an interesting fact. Did you know that the median 22 year old woman has TWICE as much sex as the median 22 year old man? You might ask, how is that possible? If a woman's having sex, doesn't that mean a man is having sex at the same time? And thus, shouldn't men be having just as much sex as women? NO...because most men hardly get laid, or if they do, it's because they "got lucky." But a small group of men get laid ALL THE TIME, and fuck LOTS AND LOTS of women! It's evolution at work. Women follow their emotions, and that leads them to sleep with men like me (who know how to control female emotions.) Women want the top man...so the top man fucks lots of women. That's right - the sexual revolution, feminism, etc has resulted in a return to harems. Women, at the mercy of their own emotions, are volunteering for the modern-day equivalent of harems. Lucky for me!! Heh.
You might say, "But...but...I'm so nice! I'm a nice guy!" Guess what? That's like a fat chick saying, "But I'm so smart!" As if those things have anything in the world to do with sexual attraction!
I'm going to give some tips here for the poor sucker guys who are posting online trying to get laid and who are spending hundreds / thousands of dollars on all those whores out there without getting any play. (You bitches know exactly what you're doing, and I'm on to your game!)
Don't be sexually judgemental in any way. A woman's worst fear is to be perceived as a slut. She will suck your toes and take it in the ass if she thinks you don't view her poorly for it (and she knows her friends won't find out.)
Don't get angry at her. Women know they have emotional outbursts and they need to trust that you can handle that. It's ok (and necessary) to occasionally put your foot down...just make sure she knows you are fully in control of yourself.
Don't let her manipulate you or control you in any way. She will immediately lose all respect for you. Always be leading. It's just like dancing - women hate a man who can't lead. When first approaching a woman or a group, they tend to get a feeling like this is just your little scheme to get close to them, when you really just want something from them - like sex. (And they're right.) It's important to structure your body language and conversation so that they honestly don't believe you want something from them. They should feel like you are about to leave at any second.
DON'T TRY TO IMPRESS HER IN ANY WAY. Don't show off. Don't talk about accomplishments or possessions. As soon as she perceives that you are trying to prove yourself to her, she loses all interest.
Don't ignore her friends. A woman values her friend's opinions more than just about anything else in the world. Nothing matters to her more than what other women are thinking. Give her friends lots of attention and get everyone laughing. If one woman is feeling different than the others, she will drag them away. They will follow like a flock of pigeons. Society is the book of women. (Notice that men do NOT behave this way! Women are very different!)
To get a woman attracted / emotionally vulnerable, give her lots of emotions and feelings. Don't just make her feel good. Make her feel good, and angry, and sad, and connected, and astonished, and intrigued, etc. Make her laugh. Tease her. Tell stories about your sick puppy. Tell her why things would never work out between the two of you. Call her a dork. If she gets heated up, she will start touching you...playfully push her away. If she calls you a jerk and punches your arm, you are doing it right. If she gives you that "I can't believe you just said that" look, do NOT back down, do not say "Oh I'm just kidding" or anything like that.
As she gets more emotional, she will try to ruin things by throwing in logic. She will ask you if you are a player, or if you say this to all the girls, or whatever. The trick is this: Don't take it seriously by giving it some logical answer! That's right...women lose interest if you take them seriously!!! It's crazy but that's how they behave. Just blow it off or misinterpret what she's saying as though she is coming on to you. If you fail these tests, she will be gone so fast your head will spin.
She will start asking you lots of questions. This is what chicks do when they suddenly find themselves attracted to a man they know nothing about. This is your chance to open up a little and also find out more about her and build a deeper connection. You have to do this, or she will flake later (even if you've kissed her!) Women are the worst flakes in the world! Don't make it too easy for her, make her work for it a bit. Then talk about connections and childhood memories and things you have in common, etc. She needs to feel that this is genuine. This is usually the time when I throw in a few fake vulnerabilities, like pretending I'm shy or insecure about something. I know it's fucked up but women need to see that there are at least a few small holes where they can sink their hooks in you. They get uneasy if you are too perfect.
Make sure she gets the feeling that you have standards and that you are judging her based on them. Ask her questions that show her you are checking her out to see if she is up to snuff. Women don't like to feel like you are with them only because you can't do any better. They prefer to feel like you have high standards; you can get any chick you want, but you chose HER because she is SOOOO special and SOOOO different from all the others. Yeah, I know.
Move her to different locations. Take her next door for a drink. Take her across the street to check out some art. The more locations the better. Take responsibility for every escalation. A woman will do just about anything as long as she doesn't have to feel like it was "her fault." Make it YOUR fault. Make it "just happen." She will rationalize it to herself later using the same bullshit generator that women use to flake out on dates at the last minute. Don't get her horny until you get her isolated. Believe me, emotional is better than horny.
Keep the woman always swinging somewhere between validation and rejection. If she feels rejected, she drops out or gets REALLY MAD. And if she feels too validated, she will ditch you in a heartbeat. So push her away (emotionally) and then pull her back in.
BELIEVE YOUR OWN BULLSHIT. Chicks do not look at your excuses and try to see if they are bullshit or not... because that is the logical thing to do, and chicks are not logical. Rather, what they do is see if YOU seem to believe your own bullshit when you say it. If you look like you do, then chances are, they will believe it too. So the key is to believe your own bullshit, and other aspects about yourself that you want the chick to believe about you too (alpha male..whatever)... because your own self beliefs for some reason will automatically 'impart' to the chick! One more thing...many guys make the mistake of listening to female romantic advice. Don't listen to them, THEY DON'T KNOW WTF THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT, and they WILL steer you wrong. They will tell you what they
THINK they want, instead of what they actually RESPOND to. And furthermore, a large part of the female sexual experience IS the inability to admit these things BECAUSE they derive sexual pleasure from putting up resistance and being overwhelmed.
If you do things this way, after a few months practice you WILL get laid like a rock star. The guys who get laid are the ones who know what they are doing, because they have practiced on lots of women. Ironically, women are most attracted to the men who are most likely to fuck them and then dump them on their ass - because those are precisely the men who have so many other options because they practice on lots of women. That's why you always hear women bitching about how men are assholes that only want to fuck them and dump them - because those are the men that they gravitate to.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
Women tend to wise up when they get towards their 30s, and they start looking for a nice wimpy beta male to settle down with and pay for all their shit. As they get older, they will get more and more desperate to find this guy. Once they do, they will cheat on him with an exciting fun guy like me. (But who wants to fuck some old chick in her 30's? That's what beta males are for! Heh)
Hey, don't blame me - I didn't make things the way they are. I was just a guy who wanted to get laid. And I do.
On July 14 2011 03:44 Mogwai wrote: well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I think the OP has long term intentions here.
He said this in a later reply:
On July 13 2011 22:26 FiWiFaKi wrote: Well at first I thought it would be really casual. But honestly weve both grown on each other A LOT. I mean we can both see each other together in years to come, weve talked about it together, and well. She put me infront of her parents numerous times, several times knowing she would get into serious shit, and she did, just to be with me, same goes for me.
If they had been dating for a year or something then my advice would be different. This is the honeymoon period of the relationship. It's the period of time after a relationship begins characterized by an almost euphoric sense of companionship. And why not? Leading up to the relationship there was bound to be pent up feelings and a lot of uncertainty. This is where it all pays off! During this time you're both happy, content, and wonder how you ever got along without the other person. It's way too easy to make long term plans when everything is going so well.
And then the honeymoon phase ends. I believe this happens when you need to start putting effort into the relationship isn't easy anymore. Distance does this very well, along with moving, going to college, a school year ending, taking a new job - SOMETHING that interrupts the honeymoon routine. It's at this time you realize that what you were living wasn't so much a relationship, but a vacation. Now you see each others' faults, shortcomings, and things you don't agree with. The good times are still here, but they're no longer uninterrupted. So yes, OP says "we can both see each other together in years to come", but this is normal for a young romance. I've had more than one girlfriend in the past announce their intentions to stay with me forever and with those same lips break up with me when the relationship became difficult. It's not just me, this happens all the time (hence many of the replies here garnering an appropriate amount of skepticism).
17 year old falls hard for a girl... I dunno, I tend to think of these as srsbsns intentions but that just be me projecting my 17 year old self onto the situation. if it's all in the name of just having a good time until High School is over, then yea sure, you're solution can work, but if he's looking for a real long term relationship here, I don't think it can really work if she's putting God first and he isn't. I dunno though, some people can make stuff work (for instance, I can't imagine marrying someone with drastically different political ideals, but some people seem to make it work *shrug*), so maybe again I'm projecting myself and what I'm comfortable getting over onto this situation. Just doesn't make sense to me how you could ever be OK with having someone be the #1 priority in your life only to be playing second fiddle in theirs to something you don't even believe in.
I agree that if OP is looking for a long-term, serious, "we might end up married" relationship then this will become a serious talking point. My advice applies to the "here and now". However, I don't think it's reasonable to look so far ahead when you've only been dating for two months. At least wait until the honeymoon is over!
Oh, and also why the hell haven't you fucked her yet? Relationships should begin with sex. That's just how the world is nowadays. Also if this is relevant let me convey some advice that one of my older friends gave me when I was 15:
Giz, never date a virgin!
Surely you must be able to infer why.
One last item of note: If you have long-term intentions then this honeymoon phase better last at least two years and better include a lot of fooling around. Real good relationships take about a year before a major fight happens and about two years before the initial attraction dies down. Also if you want it to last that long you better start spending less time with her or she'll get tired of you real quick.
On July 13 2011 22:26 FiWiFaKi wrote: Well at first I thought it would be really casual. But honestly weve both grown on each other A LOT. I mean we can both see each other together in years to come, weve talked about it together, and well. She put me infront of her parents numerous times, several times knowing she would get into serious shit, and she did, just to be with me, same goes for me.
If they had been dating for a year or something then my advice would be different. This is the honeymoon period of the relationship. It's the period of time after a relationship begins characterized by an almost euphoric sense of companionship. And why not? Leading up to the relationship there was bound to be pent up feelings and a lot of uncertainty. This is where it all pays off! During this time you're both happy, content, and wonder how you ever got along without the other person. It's way too easy to make long term plans when everything is going so well.
And then the honeymoon phase ends. I believe this happens when you need to start putting effort into the relationship isn't easy anymore. Distance does this very well, along with moving, going to college, a school year ending, taking a new job - SOMETHING that interrupts the honeymoon routine. It's at this time you realize that what you were living wasn't so much a relationship, but a vacation. Now you see each others' faults, shortcomings, and things you don't agree with. The good times are still here, but they're no longer uninterrupted. So yes, OP says "we can both see each other together in years to come", but this is normal for a young romance. I've had more than one girlfriend in the past announce their intentions to stay with me forever and with those same lips break up with me when the relationship became difficult. It's not just me, this happens all the time (hence many of the replies here garnering an appropriate amount of skepticism).
17 year old falls hard for a girl... I dunno, I tend to think of these as srsbsns intentions but that just be me projecting my 17 year old self onto the situation. if it's all in the name of just having a good time until High School is over, then yea sure, you're solution can work, but if he's looking for a real long term relationship here, I don't think it can really work if she's putting God first and he isn't. I dunno though, some people can make stuff work (for instance, I can't imagine marrying someone with drastically different political ideals, but some people seem to make it work *shrug*), so maybe again I'm projecting myself and what I'm comfortable getting over onto this situation. Just doesn't make sense to me how you could ever be OK with having someone be the #1 priority in your life only to be playing second fiddle in theirs to something you don't even believe in.
I agree that if OP is looking for a long-term, serious, "we might end up married" relationship then this will become a serious talking point. My advice applies to the "here and now". However, I don't think it's reasonable to look so far ahead when you've only been dating for two months. At least wait until the honeymoon is over!
haha, well I'm also assuming he won't listen to this because again, I remember being young and in love, and trust 17 year old Mogwai, HIS SITUATION WAS DIFFERENT THAN EVERYONE ELSES, AND YOU JUST DON'T KNOW LOVE.
I also think that going through a relationship where you're certain that that person is the one and fighting for the relationship only to have reality slap you upside the head later down the road is a defining moment of growing up. I dunno, I just think there's some value is actually pursuing young love and learning life for yourself, cause well, who knows, maybe it works out (99% doesn't) but even if it doesn't you learn a lot about relationships in the process. at least that's my $0.02
On July 14 2011 04:49 Mogwai wrote: I dunno, I just think there's some value is actually pursuing young love and learning life for yourself, cause well, who knows, maybe it works out (99% doesn't) but even if it doesn't you learn a lot about relationships in the process. at least that's my $0.02
Agreed. You learn a lot through the experience! Knowing what I know now I could have saved myself a lot of woman-related trouble a few years back. We all have to learn somehow!
Well you can A. Try and pursue her in hopes she changes her mind or whatever and tries to make the relationship work.... or B. drop her and move on.
Personally you two will both be at college and soon so I'd go with B. I mean you've been going out for 2 months, so scientifically speaking, you love each other more or less because your hormones are just going fricken nuts right now and eventually that will stop. Yes, this is science. Pretty much that's why you have this huge feeling of attachment to her right now, and eventually it will go away and everything will be good.
Also, if you choose to stay with her the same thing will happen, you may continue going out, but you may end up splitting because you've lost your feelings for her or whatever.
tbh i think you should dump her like honestly she puts god over you... if she wants a relationship she'd set aside her religion and buncha shit that no one cares about. EDIT: besides eventually you woulda gotten sick of her shit and dumped her anyway
I guess there is only one thing to say : "OH MY GOD !"
Dealing with fanatics (of all kind, not only religious) is the best way to self-destruct and get and long and painful depression afterwards. Take my simple advice, send her a letter (old-school style) with what you think of this and break up with her. If she wants to be with you, she will change her mind. Otherwise you will have spare yourself a painful experience.
On the flipside my girl's best mate ditched their friendship because a plam reader told her they were not compatible, so maybe this girl is relatively sane...
Dude man do what you want but me if she told me that I would be leaning towards breaking up. Anyone who trusts someone else for "seeing" that someones relationship will fail is not trustworthy.
sorry dude but it sounds like a self fulfilling prophesy. true or not, it will split you apart. id suggest moving on, as hard as it may be. best of luck to you.
So I was really busy on vacation and I didn´t really have much time to post, but now I have a quick few minutes to make an update.
I talked to her, we both didn´t have much time so I decided to bring this up on facebook and she said she was thinking about it too. And she said that god or religion has never got in the way of us before (which is true) and that it wasn´t going to change. Truthfully, even after all that happened, and whatever you may think, she´s a smart girl and I trust she knows what she´s doing. Either Im really stupid and shes playing some dirty game, or she really loves me, and Im not going to take the former.
We talked after that on skype, we joked around, everything was normal, which is good I didnt want her to take it offensively. And I mean I get back on the 30th so there isn´t much to do until then. Also I bought her some nice silver necklace.
Ill post an update on the situation after a few days together in Canada again.
On July 28 2011 00:43 FiWiFaKi wrote: So I was really busy on vacation and I didn´t really have much time to post, but now I have a quick few minutes to make an update.
I talked to her, we both didn´t have much time so I decided to bring this up on facebook and she said she was thinking about it too. And she said that god or religion has never got in the way of us before (which is true) and that it wasn´t going to change. Truthfully, even after all that happened, and whatever you may think, she´s a smart girl and I trust she knows what she´s doing. Either Im really stupid and shes playing some dirty game, or she really loves me, and Im not going to take the former.
We talked after that on skype, we joked around, everything was normal, which is good I didnt want her to take it offensively. And I mean I get back on the 30th so there isn´t much to do until then. Also I bought her some nice silver necklace.
Ill post an update on the situation after a few days together in Canada again.
Well, it's good to here there's no animosity or anything. I'm a Christian, and to be honest, this whole "vision" thing really doesn't sound real. It might be some counselor telling her something, and she has some dream or concern or something. True visions almost never exist. Almost. But given you're not a Christian, it'll be pretty tough to talk to her about Christianity. If you really love her, do a bit of research and find some way of convincing her to let the relationship pan out first.
Tell her that you were in laying in bed for hours last night and could not fall asleep because you were worried about your relationship. Tell her that even though you are a man of logic and rationality, you felt compelled to pray. So you got off the bed, clasped your hands in a cold sweat, closed your eyes harder than you ever have before and did something you never thought you would do.
The experience was liberating despite the fact that you have never prayed before and were not sure if you were doing it right. Your heart stopped racing and you were overtaken with a calmness that you could only describe as a trance, almost like a dream. You crawled back into your bed to ponder the experience, and though the sweat and worry had subsided, you remained awake with a clairvoyance that you had only heard about in stories.
You remember it perfectly, it was not a dream. You were in a field of tall grass and trees. On the one side you can see a house not unlike the one you had imagined growing old in, sitting against the backdrop of sunny mountains. There is a couple sitting on the front porch with two small children playing at their feet. Looking behind you, the tall grass and trees seem to get smaller and smaller, with nothing but whiteness in the background.
You felt compelled to walk to this brightness, and as you walked along you realized that the vegetation was not getting smaller, but was in fact getting younger. You were walking a timeline of your life, and as you continued on you again saw in the distance an exact reflection of yourself talking to her. You remember simply from the physical gestures that this is the conversation in which she told you that she was doubting your relationship. You remain transfixed on the couple for a few minutes, unable to move until the reflections fade, at which point you feel the wind on your back. It is cold, but not unpleasant. You try to turn around but find yourself unable to move.
At this point, you feel a touch on your shoulder. You want to describe it like a hand, but there was something different about it. You knew you were in the presence of God. As the wind passed your ears, you heard the the voice of God. You knew then that everything would be okay and that you had a purpose. He said more in a few words than anyone else could have said in hours, and you now want to share what God had said to you with her.
Lean closer to her, put your hand on her cheek and tell her + Show Spoiler +
I type this because I myself go to these camps, am a devoted Christian and I met Fiwi on teamliquid chat -cough-
Despite everyone saying that she's crazy, believe it or not but stuff like this does happen. As christians we believe that visions happen.
[quote=Bible] "He said, "Hear now My words: If there is a prophet among you, I, the LORD, shall make Myself known to him in a vision I shall speak with him in a dream." Numbers 12:6 (NASB)[/quote]
Well, in this verse (I'm not saying that you guys have to believe in it or anything, just saying what she probably thinks) and the 'prophet' in this verse can be just about anyone (even though it says him, it still can be a her) (there's a word for it but I forgot what it was)
I do believe that she had a vision at that camp (these things are not abnormal, to tell you the truth. If you experienced God at a Christian camp, it's totally awesome) and she wanted to tell you.
Also, not to pick on either of you but:
2 Corinthians 6:14 Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”
The bible actually talks about non-believers and believers. No, I'm not saying you can't be friends with "the other one" but choose your most trusted friends. My parents keep telling me "u nedz to choose a christian gf" because they don't want me to have the temptation of leaving Christianity. And after the summer camp I went to (anvilisland.ca) I probably won't.
I'm not telling you to be a christian or anything. It's really hard to convince a Christian out of his/her faith, believe me, I know. We believe in faith, even if we can't see it, we believe it's still there.
Call me crazy, call me fool, but I really don't mind. [quote] “You’re blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God’s kingdom.” Matthew 5:10 (MSG)/quote]
SO. My advice.
If you really like/love her, be a Christian. Go to a camp. You'll discover something, like I did.
I thought this thread was laid to bed. Don't listen to anyone about your religion; make those decisions based on how you feel about them. Unless you're going to marry someone next year, converting to their religion for them should be out of the question. YOU'RE 17
NEVER CHANGE YOURSELF FOR A GIRL
It's one thing to improve yourself in general for girls, but to conform to someone else's specific mold is excess. You should be able to be yourself, if only slightly augmented to make yourself date-able. You should never have to change entirely, especially something as drastic as your entire worldview.
On July 28 2011 04:18 TheGiz wrote: I thought this thread was laid to bed. Don't listen to anyone about your religion; make those decisions based on how you feel about them. Unless you're going to marry someone next year, converting to their religion for them should be out of the question. YOU'RE 17
NEVER CHANGE YOURSELF FOR A GIRL
It's one thing to improve yourself in general for girls, but to conform to someone else's specific mold is excess. You should be able to be yourself, if only slightly augmented to make yourself date-able. You should never have to change entirely, especially something as drastic as your entire worldview.
I agree wholeheartedly with this. Religion is something that you need to figure out on your own, and you shouldn't have to conform your views to match hers. It's possible for 2 people in a relationship to have different views when it comes to religion, and if she can't see that then it's her loss.
To be honest, I really think she's thinking about ending it.
My friend had the same thing happen to her, except they'd been dating for about a year or so. He went off on a retreat, came back, and told her he wanted to end it, that it wasn't her fault or his fault or God's. It was God's message to him.
EPT
![[image loading]](http://www.yourcatholicchurch.org/jesus_large.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/sC02w.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Miz5A.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/3Qupx.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/nqvY9.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/FzNuE.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/8LsJi.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/M3yxB.png)
![[image loading]](http://img199.imageshack.us/img199/2193/1251169393326.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Rul1g.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://berlinavia.files.wordpress.com/2009/12/nitro512.jpg)
Best of luck.
