Attractiveness - Page 3

On June 27 2011 16:47 Torte de Lini wrote:
Give me a study that compares the long-term overall self-esteem levels of people who have plastic surgery and those who rely on other methods to cope with imperfections that aren't or should not be a hindrance on their life (or in the main aspects of their life, since insecurities will always play a part or role).

Then give me the financial difference between the two.

Then maybe what you're saying won't sound like half a story. To reiterate, what you're saying is that someone who invested time, money, thought and interest into a procedure came out feeling better about who they are and how they look (than before). By golly! That's astounding!

On June 27 2011 16:30 Torte de Lini wrote:


No, that's called the Halo-Effect and anecdotes.

On June 27 2011 17:26 Torte de Lini wrote:


I probably failed to understand, as expected and I'm sorry.

I fail to understand your example, especially considering that if a person was more focused on what she found was important in her life than her looks (nothing wrong with the other way around either), then you'd judge someone from the cover rather than inquiring why she looks the way she does (she doesn't care, she is fine with the way she looks, doesn't know how to change how she looks, etc).

It's just very difficult a leap from ugly physical appearance to lazy personality with no ambitions for me. I probably missed your point though, I don't feel there is any correlation, but I'm speaking off-hand.

On June 27 2011 17:37 bartus88 wrote:


I wasn't trying to say that ugly people are lazy, but rather that sometimes, a bad personality trait will result in a less than optimal physical appearance.

On June 27 2011 17:40 Torte de Lini wrote:


Yes, it is actually the standard and most normal.
Do you find yourself most comfortable with people who are similar or like you?

That's for starters :B

On June 27 2011 17:50 Lanaia wrote:


It's moreso with people who are like who I am now. Overcoming depression shaped me immensely and changed me for the better. I wasn't sure that was the standard as everything was unrequited up until about a year and a half ago.


As I've been reading this thread I've been thinking. The more someone seems whorish or sluttish to me, the more unattractive they are is to me. The more they gossip, cheat, and all that, the more unattractive they are to me. I'm sure this is normal.

I found my deal-breaker. My deal-breaker is feet.

I appreciate this blog and I appreciate the time everyone has put into it. It makes me happy to learn everyone else's opinions, whether they align with mine or not. It's interesting. I don't think I'm shallow, but I know I'm picky as all hell. (Picky and shallow aren't the same thing, correct?)

On June 27 2011 15:13 Endymion wrote:
I can't respect ugly girls, just like I can't respect ugly guys. It's not even a sexual thing, I just don't like ugly people because 99.99% of the time their appearance reflects their personality. That said, I don't respect every attractive person I know, but physical appearances are an initial cut off for me.

On June 27 2011 16:17 aztrorisk wrote:


Reading this, I can't respect you.

First of all, their is a large difference between appearances and personality. The reason why people respect others for their personality rather than their appearances is because their personality is what defines someone. The ability to naturally mold your personality rather than your appearance is on factor in why that person merits respect.

For example, would you respect a lazy person or a hard working person?

However, using your logic, the lazy person could always become a hard working person. Yes, the transition into becoming a hard working person makes them more respectable. Their decision to forsake their laziness and work hard is admirable and deserves respect.

Scenario two: Would you rather respect a ugly person or a pretty person?

Your answer would be probably be the pretty person if you had to pick between the two. Now, what if the ugly person got plastic surgery and now looks very pretty. Even if she still has her ugly personality, you would be more inclined to respect her.

This is why personality determines whether a person merits respect and not appearances.

Yes, I know that you mentioned that the reason you don't respect ugly people is because 99.9% of the time, they have ugly personalities.

First of all, this is extremely stereotypical. Secondly, your logic is extremely fallible. Using this logic, you would not respect elders because they lose their attractiveness to time despite what they have done with their lives.

It is time for you to wake up from your bubble and start thinking for yourself. If you continue your narrow, ignorant ways, don't expect to establish a stable family because 50% of marriages ends in a divorce. I wonder what will happened to your relationship with your wife (under the low circumstances that you'll be able to find one) when she gets old and loses her attractiveness. Then you'll stop respecting her and a relationship without mutual respect cannot last.

On June 27 2011 16:22 Torte de Lini wrote:


Oy, difficult where to begin. A lot of what you're saying is very narrow-minded and just furthering the justified views of shallowness. To callously call others shallow because we take into account more than what's physically valued is the cherry on this sundae of melting pettiness and superficiality on your part.

I'm going to ignore your anecdotes and blast from the past because it's just nonsense that reinforced your stereotypical view and sense of "understanding" of people in general, despite how limited and poor it is in the grand scheme of things/society.

But let's halt and read this beauty: Also, I don't really like people who think plastic surgery is messing up a girls "natural" beauty when it's the girl's choice to correct her imperfections.

This poor statement further concludes that you do have a narrow-minded understanding of people. Plastic surgery has legitimate uses, we both know that. What you don't seem to account for is that plastic surgery isn't something people "think is messing up a girl's natural beauty", it just places an importance on a part of them that shouldn't have priority, financial support or be a form of getting over one's insecurities. We all have imperfections, that is what allows one to see a person's perfections. To repair these would be to emphasize these imperfections as something to be insecure about rather than accept that there are key components of you that don't deserve more and better attention (than say the traits and qualities you can improve on).

The true irony here is that you naturally got into shape after being overweight, but then entirely support those who want the easy way into changing themselves without effort. This I find baffling and furthering my conclusions about you

Onward we go: It's faster to judge someone physically and assume their personality than to fake a personality. If I judged you physically before you can come up to me and fake all your traits, guess what's more shallow and easier to perform?

Good try though, that was really cute. I really enjoyed that last throw of the spear. You didn't even justify why ugly people have ugly personalities, you dodged that completely. Did you take note at how, no matter what shape or form you are, your true personality shines in the end.

On June 27 2011 15:13 Endymion wrote:
But now through all the pain I've learned to place fitness above eating, and I'm happily fit and anorexic now.

On June 27 2011 15:13 Endymion wrote:
For the people who think I'm shallow, you're just as shallow as me if you care about a personality as much as I value physical beauty, in fact more so because it's easier to shed who you are rather than what you are.

On June 27 2011 15:13 Endymion wrote:
This makes working out a sort of "achievement," showing that you've committed to something, opposed to money or friends which I could just deceive you about. Judging by a personality is like judging a book by its cover, you need all aspects of the person, not just one.

On June 27 2011 16:14 NeverGG wrote:
I often feel like I'm dismissed immediately by men (especially if I'm in the company of women who are attractive.) and it's hard to get out of the mind-set of 'I'm ugly so there's no point in trying.' Infact at the moment this is my entire mindset. Even if I had the best personality in the world since I'm ugly it doesn't really seem to matter.

I definitely feel as though I'd be treated better (by almost everyone) if I was considered attractive. As it is I have zero redeeming physical qualities, and have been mistaken for a man in the past more than once (which was during my years in university.) It hit my self-confidence so badly that I basically never recovered, and often find it hard to even look at myself in a mirror.

The upside of this is that I can easily have friendships with men without them becoming complicated by relationship issues. Also I'm never subject to sexual harassment problems either. Freed from the potential for romance I have plenty of time to pursue my hobbies, but I'm going to need to plan for my future with the idea of none of the additional benefits of having a partner ^^; (Well except my cat....)

P.S. Not everyone has the money or confidence to 'maintain their physical beauty.' I'd need thousands of dollars worth of surgery to make myself into something considered attractive. I don't even know where to begin - even the most basic things like clothes shopping are a self-conscious nightmare for me. I hate even going into shops, and trying things on is even worse.