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Beating Kids? - Page 15

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iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
December 25 2008 00:36 GMT
#281
that is a really good post as well.. I think they are better expressing what I was trying to get across.
Liquid`Drone
Profile Joined September 2002
Norway28727 Posts
December 25 2008 00:39 GMT
#282
haha well inc you're not the "least antagonizing person out there", people can probably become involved in heavy arguements with you without really disagreeing
Moderator
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
December 25 2008 00:42 GMT
#283
truer words have never been spoken
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24750 Posts
December 25 2008 00:42 GMT
#284
Lol so true. Probably depends on his mood though.

+ Show Spoiler +
And how much he's eaten recently?
+ Show Spoiler +
I am cranky when I'm hungry.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Ancestral
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States3230 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-12-25 00:50:46
December 25 2008 00:48 GMT
#285
On December 25 2008 05:29 Mora wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 25 2008 04:35 Ancestral wrote:
I think some of you are confused about terms, and it's best to use the right nomenclature if you plan on discussing something

Reinforcement: Action taken as a result of good behavior
Punishment: Action taken as a result of bad behavior

Positive: Adding something
Negative: Taking something away

Positive and negative reinforcement are both GOOD in the eyes of the child, since either something good is being added (given) or something bad is taken away. Punishment is always bad, and something bad is given or something good is taken away.


thanks for this.

i was not aware of the distinctions.


edit - now that i think about it, if you know the specifics of operant conditioning, then perhaps you have an opinion on the matter?

care to share it?

Sorry, I haven't time to read the rest of the thread since I am about to eat Christmas (eve) dinner with my family, but here's my brief opinion, based on my basic understanding

Spanking is usually not very effective conditioning because it often doesn't happen immediately after the transgression, so the child doesn't make a strong enough association with the transgression and the punishment. Also, acts like spanking and similar ones are usually performed when the parent is angry. Although according to some parenting books, it's ok to spank kids "when you're not angry," it's even worse for conditioning if you wait to cool down. Obviously, a spank on the butt doesn't cause lasting physical damage, but there are better forms.

A firm "loud" voice informing children of wrongdoing, telling them what will happen if they repeat is better. The second time of course, you can invoke the previous incident ("this time you can't stay up late and watch the Simpsons")

The main problem with spanking is that it is indeed usually done angrily, and raging and angry parents is an irresponsible example for children. I think any rational parent should be able to stay calm and devise more effective methods of punishment, and if there are problems so severe that spanking is considered justified, a professional should probably be called in.

Not this part is all speculation, but I think that, barring different cultural views where spanking is the norm, frequent spanking is probably the result of parents who had kids and are insufficiently prepared to deal with transgressions (haven't spent enough time considering it) and don't know what to do and feel their child's behavior is deteriorating dangerously.

I will not deny that sometimes kids do things that are just bad, but that doesn't mean the parents can too. My $0.02.

One of my professors did a research essay on spanking, and it was then cited in an article in some news journal. I'll try to come up with both if this thread is still active in a few days.

Edit: In case my implication was not clear, anything that actually physically hurts a child is right out, aside from being illegal.
The Nature and purpose of the martial way are universal; all selfish desires must be roasted in the tempering fires of hard training. - Masutatsu Oyama
Hippopotamus
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
1914 Posts
December 25 2008 01:17 GMT
#286
Spanking is usually not very effective conditioning because it often doesn't happen immediately after the transgression, so the child doesn't make a strong enough association with the transgression and the punishment.


So you just get done reading about operant conditioning, and then you say that?
EmeraldSparks
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States1451 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-12-25 01:41:10
December 25 2008 01:40 GMT
#287
Yo, everybody with studies that aren't showing them to us, links links links (or text) can't do shit without links (or text).

Also, the sheer amount of douchebaggery in this thread astounds me.

On December 24 2008 20:34 Liquid`Drone wrote:
the most common arguement "for" spanking children is: "well I was spanked and I turned out just fine"
anyone who uses this arguement however, did not turn out fine : for fucks sake, they are advocating hitting their own children.

"People who disagree with me are fucked up."

Thanks.

On December 24 2008 22:31 ManBearPig wrote:
I'm amazed at how people won't change their obviously wrong opinions on spanking children, even when studies have been CITED (this does not happen often in discussions on the internet). It just shows how futile arguing on the internet can be. At least in a conversation you can establish a non-dominant way of 'investigating the issue together', so it's not a competition and minds can be swayed. On the internet, it always seems to be about winning. Child spankers: bow before science and admit your defeat.

links links links can't do shit without links

On December 24 2008 20:27 BlackStar wrote:
Statistics are clear.

Causation is not correlation.
Really, you must be very stupid to even try to make this argument.

He's demonstrating the failure of a mechanism to turn kids fucked up, and generally countering the people who say dumb shit like "if you beat your kids they will either be spineless or resentful." Take a look in the mirror.

On December 25 2008 04:16 Mora wrote:
perhaps if you weren't beaten as a child you'd be better to handle your temper with others' misbehavior.

if your responses aren't a clear indication that abuse of children doesn't perpetuate abuse (in your case verbal), then nothing is.

Seriously? What the fuck? "Your responses in this thread mean that your parents were terrible people for spanking you and indicate that you are fucked up and likely to abuse your children."

On December 25 2008 06:43 BlackStar wrote:
Yeah but the debate has ended long long ago. At least among educated people. That's something, isn't it?

"People who don't agree with me are retarded."

On December 25 2008 09:03 Frits wrote:
Title: CHILD, MATERNAL, AND FAMILY CHARACTERISTICS ASSOCIATED WITH SPANKING
Author(s): GILESSIMS J, STRAUS MA, SUGARMAN DB
Source: FAMILY RELATIONS Volume: 44 Issue: 2 Pages: 170-176 Published: APR 1995
Times Cited: 65

This a great article that sums up the whole thing incredibly well.

From the first page:

Show nested quote +
Almost all children in the United States are spanked by their parents at some point in their lives. Spanking as a form of discipline receives support based on religious traditions (Greven, 1991) and widespread beliefs in the positive effects of corporal punishment on children (Graziano & Na- maste, 1990; Straus, 1991); however, research indicates that spanking increases a child's risk of both short- and long- term negative side effects (Straus & Kaufman Kantor, in press). Having been spanked as a child and/or adolescent is related to later psychological problems including an increased chance of being depressed and thinking about suicide (Straus, in press), becoming violent and delinquent (Straus, 1991), and experiencing alienation and lower economic achievement (Straus & Gimpel, 1992; Straus, in press).


The quoted studies are are peer reviewed and showed significant statistical differences between spanked and not spanked.

I would like to know how these studies separate causation and correlation. Maybe shitty parents are more likely to beat their children; has this possibility been accounted for?
But why?
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24750 Posts
December 25 2008 02:03 GMT
#288
Only a Sith lord speaks in absolutes right?
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Sawajiri
Profile Joined June 2007
Austria417 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-12-25 02:07:44
December 25 2008 02:06 GMT
#289
I always think these threads are just so pointless.

Different parenting techniques work for different kids. That is why siblings can be so very different from one another. My brother and I are the complete opposite of one another personality-wise and had completely different attitudes and personalities even as toddlers. We were both raised very liberally without ever getting spanked. While he's a manner guy and the technique obviously worked for him, I think a personality such as mine could have profited from a stricter upbringing. So I think parenting is a highly individual thing and that there is no "one-size-fits-all".
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
December 25 2008 02:14 GMT
#290
They take a population that is pretty much the same on most grounds, from similar environments, with the exception that one population uses physical punishment and the other doesn't. That should prevent any significant error from something like that. If some parents turn out to show behavior that deviates too much from the norm Im sure they just eliminated them from the experiment.
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
December 25 2008 02:16 GMT
#291
On December 25 2008 11:06 Sawajiri wrote:
I always think these threads are just so pointless.

Different parenting techniques work for different kids. That is why siblings can be so very different from one another. My brother and I are the complete opposite of one another personality-wise and had completely different attitudes and personalities even as toddlers. We were both raised very liberally without ever getting spanked. While he's a manner guy and the technique obviously worked for him, I think a personality such as mine could have profited from a stricter upbringing. So I think parenting is a highly individual thing and that there is no "one-size-fits-all".


"could have"

please stop with the bullshit personal anecdotes guys

they are meaningless
EmeraldSparks
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
United States1451 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-12-25 02:19:37
December 25 2008 02:17 GMT
#292
links links links can't do shit without links

also, stats only show "generally kids who are beaten do worse"

maybe there are kids/parents for whom beating is useful and kids for whom it is not, with more kids for whom it is not

if one is to propose a mechanism for turning kids violent then anecdotal evidence demonstrating failure of said mechanism helps detract from the proposition that beating kids is always bad
But why?
ilj.psa
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Peru3081 Posts
December 25 2008 02:22 GMT
#293
On December 25 2008 08:29 FakeSteve[TPR] wrote:
blackstar your posts make me frown and shake my head

SerpentFlame
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
415 Posts
December 25 2008 02:26 GMT
#294
On December 25 2008 08:42 Frits wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 25 2008 08:29 SerpentFlame wrote:
So far, I've yet to meet anyone who has been physically disciplined moderately (for example, a swat on the ass every now and then as justified punishment for bad behavior) that have sorely wished they hadn't been. The same cannot be said of those who grew up without physical discipline and those who grew up with heavy physical discipline. This, I think, should be enough to demonstrate that spanking can be (but not always is) a legitimate form of punishment.


Have you ever seen an antisocial person say, "boy, I wish I wasn't so antisocial"?

Yes I have. In fact, it's actually pretty common? If you're referring to those antisocial by choice, it's because they had a choice, which is fundamentally different than the point at hand here (kids don't choose to be spanked). If you're referring to those who are born with some physical deformity or some mental disability that socially handicaps people, then you can ask them if they wished they didn't have them, most of them will say yes.

The studies you linked to are about frustration and anger (pscyhological damage) as a child, and as an adult, they'll definitely know that it's present. Right now your argument states that "People who grow up didn't know what's good for them when they were kids", which is kindof ridiculous.

Keep in mind that when you reference statistics, many of those who have been spanked are also those who have been abused in some other form that is more severe than spanking, hence the resulting frustration and anger as an adult or whatever. Not to say that your statistics are invalid, but simply saying that you should take them with a grain of salt. Additionally, many spanking households do so out of parental frustration, as opposed to responsible attitudes. Responsible parents make up a far greater proportion of those who do not spank, hence throwing into question whether spanking is the cause for such behavior, or whether it's simply an indication of parental irresponsibility due to a variety of societal factors.

Furthermore, the Straus study deals with the intensity and prevelance of spanking, but bases its claims critically on the categories of spanked and nonspanked in various groups of age (<-- not to say that it doesn't deal with chronicity and recurrence, but the conclusion that Straus issues regarding spanking merely looks at the amalgamation of "spanked" into one cateogry). The data given in the study, however, indicates that the negative results that had significant were those that had a high spanking intensity and high spanking prevalence in age groups of 0-4 years of age. The other results in his study with far more moderate spanking show little significant data, and with a lower chronicity of spanking, the data is largely inconclusive.

Putting this all into historical context, conservative spankless parenting never took off until the latter half of the century. In America, spanking has been on the decline (from 94 percent in 1960 to 55 percent in 1998 (Welsh 1998), and yet, rates of social aggression and crime rates are increasing in recent years. This at least, indicates that the effects of moderate spanking are relatively inconsequential (obviously, the same cannot be said of excessive physical discipline)

In my view, it boils down to spanking as not being bad, but being done at the wrong times. Traditional spanking doesn't look beyond the surface and into the heart of matters, and therefore is sometimes used in the wrong situation.


However, I've been unable to find very much information on the subject matter in research databases (a total of three articles on JSTOR( all of which critically originate from Straus), which critically focuses on Western texts as opposed to those of Southeast Asia or the Middle East). If anyone has a reliable article supporting spanking, posting it would be appreciated
I Wannabe[WHITE], the very BeSt[HyO], like Yo Hwan EVER Oz.......
Ki_Do
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Korea (South)981 Posts
December 25 2008 02:26 GMT
#295
On December 24 2008 10:14 Eskii wrote:
Physical discipline is an entirely fine way to deal with your kids.
I've got a point, and i'm ready to kill or die for it.
strongwind
Profile Joined July 2007
United States862 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-12-25 02:29:32
December 25 2008 02:27 GMT
#296
my friend is a 1st grade teacher and I've sat in on her class a couple times. It was a nightmare for me. I think she spent more time verbally disciplining them than teaching them. This is a private school, and she regularly tells me that a lot of these children are spoiled by their parents with little discipline. So she ends up having to be the one to raise the children the right way.

I think parents should utilize some form of discipline within good judgement. It becomes such a pain for teachers to have to do it all themselves. As in this case, the more time a teacher has to deal with raising children, the less time he/she has to actually teach them.

edit: oh, and not to mention it drives teachers crazy ^^
Taek Bang Fighting!
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5725 Posts
December 25 2008 02:46 GMT
#297
On December 25 2008 11:16 Frits wrote:

"could have"

please stop with the bullshit personal anecdotes guys

they are meaningless


how are they meaningless? there isnt one way to raise kids, otherwise we'd all be a lot more similar.

if you're trying to be "scientific" about this, those studies are probably based off of people's lives, aka personal anecdotes.
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
Frits
Profile Joined March 2003
11782 Posts
December 25 2008 02:50 GMT
#298
On December 25 2008 11:46 29 fps wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 25 2008 11:16 Frits wrote:

"could have"

please stop with the bullshit personal anecdotes guys

they are meaningless


how are they meaningless? there isnt one way to raise kids, otherwise we'd all be a lot more similar.

if you're trying to be "scientific" about this, those studies are probably based off of people's lives, aka personal anecdotes.


yes

100 anecdotes with similarities = possible to draw meaningful conclusion
1 anecdote = meaningless
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5725 Posts
December 25 2008 03:10 GMT
#299
maybe 100 similar anecdotes on TL = can draw a conclusion, also. you never know
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
Mora
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
Canada5235 Posts
December 25 2008 03:39 GMT
#300
On December 25 2008 10:40 EmeraldSparks wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 25 2008 04:16 Mora wrote:
perhaps if you weren't beaten as a child you'd be better to handle your temper with others' misbehavior.

if your responses aren't a clear indication that abuse of children doesn't perpetuate abuse (in your case verbal), then nothing is.

Seriously? What the fuck? "Your responses in this thread mean that your parents were terrible people for spanking you and indicate that you are fucked up and likely to abuse your children."


Did you read the whole thread or just skim over parts that you were convicted to retort on?

If you had read the rest of my posts in addition to the one you quoted from me you might have been able to figure out that that post was made in jest.

perhaps it was just a failing on my part to be funny, but i will reiterate: read the rest of my posts and try responding to those, as they are the ones with actual content.

Infact, after re-reading your post, it seems you took more than just my statement out of context.

Are you going out of your way to start arguements? I would advocate trying to read someone else's words with the intention of seeing it from their point of view before trying to burn them. If you do not do this, you run the risk of taking things out of context which is bad for discussion.
Happiness only real when shared.
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