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I have personally never encountered a really 'fucked up' girl. People are talking as if they are fickle creatures whose actions make no sense but they mostly make sense to me. Just like boys, a certain proportion are too mentally immature for relationships; and a certain proportion have psychological issues. But when you take them out, the reasons for leaving men are usually similar to the reasons men leave women. What matters, when associating with girls or boys, is judgment of character.
Needless to say, I basically don't think you should take any collection of experiences from Middle School/ High School/ College and use them to judge an entire gender.
Also, many people are making out here like boys are the virtuous gender and girls the insane one. If this were a girl-dominated forum, it would be a bunch of people complaining about how boys are all sociopathic, egomaniacal serial cheaters. People tend to let their negative experiences smother their good in interpersonal relationships.
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On February 18 2013 17:52 sc4k wrote:
I have personally never encountered a really 'fucked up' girl. People are talking as if they are fickle creatures whose actions make no sense but they mostly make sense to me. Just like boys, a certain proportion are too mentally immature for relationships; and a certain proportion have psychological issues. But when you take them out, the reasons for leaving men are usually similar to the reasons men leave women. What matters, when associating with girls or boys, is judgment of character.
Needless to say, I basically don't think you should take any collection of experiences from Middle School/ High School/ College and use them to judge an entire gender.
Also, many people are making out here like boys are the virtuous gender and girls the insane one. If this were a girl-dominated forum, it would be a bunch of people complaining about how boys are all sociopathic, egomaniacal serial cheaters. People tend to let their negative experiences smother their good in interpersonal relationships.
We are not talking about girls in general. The thread title explains everything, and most people on this forum are male. There are girls who fuck people over but people learn and move past them.
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On February 18 2013 17:12 freewareplayer wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 13:22 SolidMotion wrote:
Enter my fucked up story:
So my first experience ever falling for a girl was when I was 16... I wasn't nerdy but I had some of the best grades in my year, wasn't awful at sports either, just didn't excel at them, look wise I'd say slightly above average but nothing special. So i meet this girl at the beginning of the year who's new to town and I just have "the love on first sight" kinda thing, and I had never experienced that before. She wasn't insanely beautiful or anything either but everytime she smilled it just sparked something in me that I couldn't explain and I just wanted to be with her. Fate, being as funny as it is, also decided that she was going to be in almost all my classes. In hindsight, I probably was the first guy that talked to her at the school. Anyway... moving on.
So the first few months of the school year pass everything is going great, we're really good friends at that point as well... Fate strikes again but this time in a terrible way: both of her parents die in a freak car accident during christmas break. School starts again and then she just turns into somewhat of a ball of hate from that point on, losing all her friends and people start looking at her as a weirdo. She deals a lot of painful emotional shit to me as well at this point but I just can't seem to bring myself to let her down and I keep trying and talking to her to see if I can help, like a good friend would right ?
So not too long after that I somehow manage to get to her and she realizes she's lost almost all her friends and that even after all of this I'm still the only one around... I don't want to stay around here too much but suffice to say we get together not long after this, being really grateful for all I've done and all of that... From that point on until the last two months of school, I'm basically in paradise, all is going well, my life is great... and best of all I finally someone with whom I feel like I can share anything... appearances then also indicate that seems to be mutual. Then shit starts hitting the fan...
So during that time we were dating she was doing well again and started getting more social, especially with the people that were considered to be the "populars". Now, the popular people from the year I was in were kind of fucked up, and I had heard stories about the weird "games" and notion of fun they had but had never really payed attention to it, and in hindsight since my gf starting hanging out with them, I really should have... Man, I really wish I had...
During that time she started changing as well, she was slowly becoming like them and the stuff she sometime would say scared me, we got into a few fights over that as well... So we hit a point where she decides we have to take a break while she thinks things out, I get really bummed out but being really in love I decide to stay calm and let her do it, the fights and that all happened within a week, that should have been my first warning sign...
During the next 2 weeks we don't talk much, and then she calls me out to meet her at a local restaurant during the week-end. That restaurant is in front of my school, right next to the school there was wood, the wood basically served as a barrier between my school and the college right next to it. Suffice to say it was big enough that people could go into it and not be seen from the outside. So we eat, she seems to be normal, or at least her last two months normal and we talk over, when we're done eating we decide to go for a walk in said wood, which we usually did. So we do that... Going on that walk was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and in hindsight, I don't know if there was anything I could have done about it.
So when we enter the wood we keep walking and then she stops making sense at starts screaming at me, I don't really remember much of what it was about but an arguement started and that led to one of the worst moment of my existence... Out of nowhere someone hit me in the back of the head with something really heavy, don't even know what it was, all i know is that it was painful and I felt I was bleeding. I think I lost consciousness there for a bit. When I came back to a few moments later, don't know how long it was, I was seeing her laughing with all of her friends... they were these "popular kids", guys and girl alike were there, all just laughing and yelling shit at me. My ex then just starts kissing the guy that was holding a baseball bat, which is basically the guy who hit me... Turns out they'd been together for a while now and no one seemed to have told me... I felt like a fucking fool... I won't go much into what happened next because I don't think I can write it down without breaking down... I'll just end it at "I was lucky enough to fall unconscious pretty fast".
I woke up two weeks later in the hospital and was told I had suffered two skull fracture, all my ribs were broken and yadi yada that they pretty much didn't know how the fuck I made it out alive... Nice wake up call huh ?
I managed to get back to school on the 2nd week of the last month... My life was hell for the next two weeks... Everyone knew what happened, they even got away with it. No one would talk to me, they made sure of it. Her bf and his gang would wait for me at the end and beat me up for the fun of it, I was still healing at that point too, which made it extremely painful...
Last week of school comes and I'm basically about go mentally breakdown... Last gym class of the year comes... I happen to walk behind him while he's bending over in his locker... I had a baseball bat in my hands at that point and I just couldn't take it anymore... I flipped out and I started hitting him... He was down and not moving after two hits but I was just so scared he was going to get up and start beating the shit out of me... So I just kept swinging and swinging... Some people finally tried stopping me... apparently it took 3... I don't have much memory from there, probably my brain shutting it down in hindsight...
I got a case out of it, but the judge knew of what happened so thats all I got, I was allowed to take the end of year exams that were the week after but I was basically banned from that school and had to move out after that...
The only satisfaction I hold from all of this is that this guy is now stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life... Call me a monster but that's one of the only things that looking back makes me really happy...
I really feel like shit now, I don't even want to write the second story... it's just so much worst... I don't know what happened to her after that and the least I know the better... As I heard after that they had been dating for the last 2 months before that happened, making fun of me within their circle... I just hope I don't see her again because the actions I commit if I do might not end up being pleasant for her... The second accident pretty much fucked my life up so bad that I don't think shit can be worst than they are now anyway...
I'm done... I got no words for how horrible that sounds what that girl did to you, uncalled for cruelness like this disgusts me. Also, good you stuck up for yourself, maybe it couldnt been handled better, but sometimes in the "great modern society" some people never get what they deserve, much respect to you. Try to leave it behind you tho, your not a monster by any account, i dont even know the guy and i dont think bad of you for it.
Good on you for making sure that fucker got what he deserved. You should feel no guilt for what you did.
I wish you the best of luck in the future.
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On February 17 2013 01:17 aTnClouD wrote:
Last girlfriend I had and I was in love with, once she realized what I felt for her, totally lost her attraction and told me I was not at her level and insulted me in both direct and subtle ways for the next 3 weeks while still giving me the feeling that we could get back together, just to have fun. I'm never going to be able to trust a girl with my feelings again after this (which I consider positive after all).
Welcome to the club.. seems like as long as you pretend not to be that seriously interested it makes you 10 times more attractive. Short story, its just a few weeks ago there was this girl, she was so hot and we had sex et cetera. The days after she asked me many times if I like her and so on.. we had these silly talks of two retarded lovers.. I always gave her the impression that I like her while trying to reserve my strong feelings. However on that one day I was so high that I told her how much I love her, it just came out of my mouth reflexively. As a result I felt more and more that she lost the interest and we stopped dating. I was wondering.. is it the missing self-esteem of someone which can no longer be compensated through a truely and seriously commiting partner? The situation felt so senseless to me.. made me really sad
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Seeing this thread after experiencing a very bad breakup this weekend ill post my story here aswell to process it a bit.
Please keep it civilised, i do not want to start any religious discussions of the sort.
We Met
May 2010, i was 24 and she was 19. She was my first serious girlfriend ever and she worked at the same place as my mother. She got my emailadress from my mom and we started mailing and chatting for almost a month. She had been in 2 relationships before which ended pretty badly. But she saw me as a well educated and smart guy who was more on the same level with her. We agreed on a date, and i cooked a nice meal for her. It was not love on first sight, but even so we dated the night after that again and we fell in love.
Relationship
We had known from the start that our different views on religion might be a problem, i was pretty much atheist at the time and she was a devout christian. We talked alot about this and i was forced to make a choice to stay with her and share this with her or leave her. At the time i could not make the decision to leave and i stayed with her, hoping i could change and take our relationship further. After some time i also found out that because of her previous relationships and problems with her parents she was also emotionally unstable at times. There where times where she would suddenly be depressed and cry about our relationship, how i was to 'cold' towards religion in her eyes. I was always there for her and tried to comfort her and discuss how we are both different persons and i cannot be the same as her. This was hard at times but i learned to cope with this and be there for her and comfort her. Even so we really loved eachother and where not planning to give our relationship up because of this difference. After a while we started to have conversations about marrying, kids and serious stuff like that. I had recently gotten a job and started earning money. Even so i was not ready to take it to the next level yet, marrying a girl that was emotionally unstable was really scary for me. Especially since my parents divorced aswell and have experienced much distress in my younger years because of that. So we went on for about a year where she would often ask me when i would ask her to marry her. She would even tell this to all her girlfriends. It even got so bad where she would actually set a deadline where i should marry her. I did not budge to this the first time and we had a big fight because of this. Even so, i did ask her to marry me eventually because i loved her and i made the decision to be with her and support her and religion aswell troughout our lives. So from this point onwards we where engaged and times where great for a while. Previous to the engagement i also bought a house which we picked together to live in the future. The house needed alot of rework but it would fit our needs and also for any kids we might have had. Keep in mind that because she was religious and held on to her beliefs she didnt live with me yet until marriage. Also we did not have sex the entire relationship, which was pretty damn hard at times. And i cant believe i actually did this. Even tho we went further then just making out.
Trouble Starts
Last New Years we did not have any plans yet and we decided we did not want to stay at home by ourselves. So i rented a hotel room in Koln and we went there for New Years to watch fireworks and be away from home for a bit. She was however ill, but still wanted to leave when i proposed we did not have to go. So we went, but it was a depressing ordeal, she had been a bit depressed over christmas holidays and being ill now on a trip out wasnt doing well for me either. We did not even stay to watch the fireworks at midnight because she was feeling bad and we went back to the hotel. Two days later when i came back from the first day of work, she was there at my place. And she dropped the bomb on me, she had had alot of doubts again of our relationship, how i was not religous enough in her eyes and was dead and lifeless. She wanted to stay apart for a month to work on ourselves. Now troughout our relationship i went with her to church, did courses there and went to a christian marriage course aswell. So i did for my idea all i could, and perhaps even went to far, to do things i wasnt comfortable with yet. But yet it seemed for her it was never enough. I still played games, even tho i had limited that to 2 nights a week, which we did in agreement. And i was working on more social relationships, i only have one group of friends (which kinda is a geeky group aswell so she didnt really fit in). I guess this and the religion thing combined with her being emotinally unstable set things off.
Break up
So she was gone for almost 6 weeks, 6 weeks where i told her that she needed to make a choice. Between me and the potential i have, or to choose to live without me. Because i could not stand her undecisiveness any longer. And i was tired of trying to live up to her standards in religion aswell. So quite recently we started chatting again and texting, she was actually giving off signals that she would come back. Even tho i was not quite sure of if i wanted to get back i wanted to give it another chance, because i loved her immensely. Being together for 2 and a half years perhaps makes you blind, but you cannot erase feelings of love. So after 6 weeks we met again, she said she wanted to meet in a neutral place to talk about stuff. Foolish as i was i did not pick up on this, and we met. I picked her up and we drove to a forest to have a walk. She was a bit distant and not very talkative. But i guess i was a bit aswell, we had not seen eachother for 6 weeks. I tried to make her feel at ease and we talked about what we where doing now etcetera. So we went to a nice place in the forest and found a bench. We sat there for 20 minutes not talking just cuddling, She then said she wanted to read something to me and picked up a diary of sorts where she collected her thoughts over the last weeks. She read for over an half an hour of her struggles with religion and how she was missing me. Then at the end she said that she wanted to find happiness with God first before me, and had to break up with me. It took a while before it hit me, it pretty much busted my heart. Somehow i could not find the emotion to cry, instead we just walked back to the car barely talking. I dropped her off and we said goodbye. I pretty much had a breakdown after i was home, thank god my parents where there for me.
So yea, that is my story. Even tho it has not ended yet... i do not have much hope for the future with her. She texted me later that she still hopes we will be together in the future. But she wants changes to happen, and i cannot give this to her, even if i wanted to, i do not know how to live up to her standards. Having tried this for almost 3 years. But this is an experience i do not wish to anyone and it broke my heart and left deep scars...
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On February 16 2013 23:32 clementdudu wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2013 23:03 Kaeru wrote:On February 16 2013 22:08 Kickboxer wrote:
You come home oblivious after a bitch day of menial work and some guy is banging your fiance. Enraged, you charge at them but the guy knows MMA and stops you with a stiff jab, stunning you in the process. Flailing around like a deranged crane in a fit of obscene rage, you manage to somehow take him down but he gets you in a triangle choke, butt naked. His balls, still wet from your now ex-gf's juices, are slobbering all over your face and just before you lose consciousness he manages to squeeze in a faint fart. LOOOL! What the fuck. That's... Close the thread. Hahaha nothing tops that. Anyway, I'm gonna write my old story. How we meet:+ Show Spoiler +It was not my first relationship and I had a relationship that was 2 years long just before I meet her. I actually broke up with the other girl because I saw a picture of this girl on a Taekwondo online community and I thought she was soooo hot that I decided to break up with my girlfriend and go all-in to get this hot asian girl that practise martial arts...
So. I was a member at this online community and we exchanged a few words. After that I decided to go to her Taekwondo club (it was really close to my house, while my own club was far away). I trained, we talked, she was really shy, I asked her out, she said yes, we got together. We both loved art and drawing. We always did these really cute pictures for one and other. We trained Taekwondo at a quite high level in Sweden and trained 5 times a week together, went to competitions all over Sweden together. We almost never argued and even if we did it was never anything serious. We did a lot of romantic gestures, ate dinners, drank wine, sweet moments and all that.
I liked her so much and we spent so much time together. Both me and her are terrible liers, our eyes just reflect everything. I knew all her different ways of looking at me, smiling at me and talking to me. She couldn't hide anything from me and I couldn't hide anything from her.
The first year was just great! One day we were at her place and she was going to have a dinner with all her girl friends. They came over, about 7 girls and they asked me to stay. I said no it's more fun for my girlfriend if she can enjoy the boy-talk conversations without having to think about me being there - so I left.
Later that night she called me and asked what I was doing. I was at a bar with my friends from work, she sounded really drunk and I told her to take care of herself.
Two days later I meet her at town, we were going to a café... When she was like 10 meters away from me, I got the wierdest feeling in the world. It felt like I was walking towards a cliff and when I hugged her and gave her a kiss, it felt just like i was falling down the cliff. It was sooo scary and my pulse went up really high.
I looked at her and asked her how she was, she said she was ok and said my eyes were water filled. I said that I didn't know why, I was feeling really wierd and I asked her if we could just go home. During the trip home with buss I was DEAD silent. She tried to say something but I was in my own world thinking about the wierd feelings I had... She started to look more and more nervous, asked what was wrong (I didn't know myself, I never had the feeling before!).
I thought about EVERYTHING I could come up with... We went off the buss and my final decision came out of the blue... "You know that I love you, but we can't be together anymore." she just sat down and started to cry on the ground and I walked home...
I had NO idea what I had done or why... I just followed my instincts and heart. Later that night she called me and I meet her outside my apartment. She was crying and asked what the fuck was wrong with me... I told her that her eyes look dead to me. Then I asked if she had sex with someone else...
She punched me. This girl, one of the best girl fighters I've ever seen... It fucking hurt a lot. But I didn't care and I asked same question again. She answered NO! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU THINK THAT...?! I had no answer, I just knew.
We broke up for a month but saw each other almost every day at Taekwondo trainings. After a month we started seeing each other again... We got back together and just left all that behind us.
One year later she called me while I was at work. Her voice was in total panic and she was crying "I need to talk to you." I already understood what it was about. When we meet she said "The last year we had so many competitions together, we have always supported each other and we are so close... I can't lie anymore. Last year when you asked me if I had sex with someone else - I had. It was after the girls dinner, some guys from our class came over, I was really drunk and ended up having sex with someone".
There were two tourists singing just next to us, I turned around and screamed at them "SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF.". They ran away and I turned to the girl and told her "You know I will forgive you, but it might take some time.".
I thought about it - why would she want to tell me now? I did some research, asked some people and it turned out that the guy had told her that unless she tells me - he would. He basically forced her to tell me. I got so angry, who the fuck does he think he is to force my girlfriend to do something she didn't want to do?
I took a day off from work, went to their class and kicked the living shit out of him in-front of his teacher and the entire class. No one called the police, I don't think he dared to... After that our relationship was really bad... We argued a lot. I loved her and she loved me but I didn't want her to touch me, same time I didn't want to be away from her. It kept going for a few months before she meet some guy... We both ended up hating each other but at the same time we couldn't be apart. We broke up and got together every other week... She didn't want me to meet someone else and I didn't want her to meet someone else. We simply didn't know how to solve things - mostly because we lived VERY close to each other and we trained (at that time) about 2 hours every day together.
She called me and asked if I was going to training, I said yes. She wanted to meet me after and I said ok. When I called her she said she had to change plans and were going to see her mom. In the background I heard a kid yell "Mom, there Grönalund" an amusement park in Stockholm.
I went there but figured that it was too late to go to an amusement park. Next to it there is a huge park / zoo. I bought a ticket and walked in... She was standing and holding hands with a friend of mine. I watched them for 2-3 minutes before they started to kiss, I went up and said "What a cute couple you two are.". They didn't know what to do. The girl said "We are just friends, you know I love you". My friend just said "I'm sorry..."
I told her that at least we don't need to play around anymore. It felt good. I walked away and they ended up together... It was really funny. Because he had trained Kung Fu for 10 years and had black belt in Taekwondo... One day she took him together with his friend to MY Taekwondo club.
My coach told me "Don't worry, I'll tell them they have to leave." I responded "No, it's fighting training today. Let me fight them both.". We fought with no protection and I ended up fucking them both up so hard...
After training it was only me and them left in the shower room. I took my stuff and told them "If I ever see you here again I'll fucking destroy you both." They didn't come back...
Few months later I had a big Taekwondo competition, the girl had already quit her Taekwondo training so she didn't have anything to do with these competitions. I woke up 05:00 to get to the car, we were driving up to northern Sweden - 10 hours drive. I come to the fucking car and she is sitting there... I said hi and knew that I had to focus on my competition, so I just ignored her.
At the hotel, it was 00:00 and we all had separate rooms. I walked out of my room, knocked on hers. She opened the door with a towel around her. I didn't say anything, just ripped the towel of her and threw her in the bed and we had sex... Just after her boyfriend (my old friend) called she answers the phone "Hi love, how are you."
I got up from the bed, took a soft drink, opened it and asked quite loudly "Babe, you want something to drink?". He started yelling cause I was in the same room as her, they broke up and me and her ended up together again... The first guy that she slept with had during these months been gathering pictures, messages and such on every time she and him had meet... During the first year nothing. During the second year when "me and her had come so close".
He sent pictures of him and her at his cabin with his parents.
Parties they were at with slutty angels and devils themes.
Lots of messages and pictures of things they've done in school...
My one month trip in Japan away from her...
I told her something that she didn't know. Her mom was working in a bar in asia long time ago and she got pregnant with her father. Her mom had told the father that "if you don't bring me to Sweden I will make an abortion.". He was against abortion so he took her to Sweden... I told her "I guess the apple falls close to the tree, you're just like your whore mother that (told the story)". I walked away and haven't talked to her for about 4-5 years now. She is still the most wonderful and strong hearted persons I've meet in my life. She's still one of the very few people in the world that I love and that I would do anything for... It's hard to describe her good sides, but she motivated me to no end to always pursue my dreams... Except for my family she is the only person that I've given my full trust to - bad idea, haha.
She grew up not being wanted by neither her father or her mother. They got her an apartment when she was 12 years old and told her to move and live alone because they didn't want her... either youre trying too hard or youre a real douche... oh and this thread is about breakups not how badass you wish you were(btw you really should change your idea of badassery)
whoops i was thinking the exact same
soulmate here
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also guys you dont have to mention how hot ur ex was.
who would sleep with someone he finds unattractive anyway?
that you think you need to tell us about it in the first place already makes some of us think u guys have to compensate something and got low self-esteem and therefore we doubt she was anything above average
dont act tough when u actually got dumped - please
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On February 18 2013 22:16 Kater wrote:
also guys you dont have to mention how hot ur ex was.
who would sleep with someone he finds unattractive anyway?
that you think you need to tell us about it in the first place already makes some of us think u guys have to compensate something and got low self-esteem and therefore we doubt she was anything above average
dont act tough when u actually got dumped - please
If you know nothing about something, then that what you think or what you pretend to know about it says more about yourself than any other person
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On February 18 2013 21:25 Demoric wrote:
snip...
I have a personal rule not to engage myself with religious girls (or ppl overall but especially girls).
On the plusside, being in a relationship with a devout religious girl, you don't have to worry about getting cheated on. Except with god ofc.
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So I have liked this girl from school for some time. At first she didn't really notice me, but after about a month, when I've worked up my courage and finally said Hi, we've became "friends". Sort of. She said she liked me, but she wanted to take it slow. She was super hot too, a living embodiment of beauty, or so I thought. So we went on dates, I bought her stuff, but because she wanted to, we were taking it slow. After a few months of this, I pressured her into a more intimate relationship. Then she told me that she's been interested in someone else, and that she sees me as a great friend, and doesn't want to screw it up. So she made it clear that she had no romantic feelings towards me (EVEN THOUGH SHE SAID SHE DID AT THE START), so I thought for a few minutes, then decided to go along with it. I said yeah sure, let's be friends.
So, we stayed friends for over 2 years. I made it my best effort to still charm and flirt with her as much as possible, as non-responsive as she may be. I watched her get dumped by 2 guys, and offered my shoulder for her to cry on.
So after the 3rd guy dumped her (like i said, she was smoking hot, so I can only assume she attracts all sorts of assholes), she had enough. She said that she wanted me more than just a friend now. Unfiendzoned, right?
I said I'll think about it.
I lead her on for a couple of days.
Then the big day had come.
I booked an expensive restaurant, and even rented a limo to take us there, i bought her flowers and a box of chocolates.
As we sat there at the restaurant, she asked me that question again. She asked me if i came to a decision.
And looking at her, how beautiful she was, it took me so much will that i never thought i had in me. I've had half a mind to back out, but i decided to go through with it.
I took her hand, looked her in the eyes, smiled an apologetic smile, and said (surprisingly calmly)
'I just want to be friends. I don't have any romantic feelings for you.'
So after she pleaded for a while, she said fine, she was content with being friends.
I took her hands out of mine, and said 'On the second thought, I changed my mind'.
I let her play with the thought a little, then stood up and said 'I don't want to be friends. Goodbye'.
I left her there.
That was 5 years ago. But I have no regrets. Every once in a while I think back to it, and it still feels good.
I know I probably seem like a complete asshole to you, but come on. She had it coming.
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+ Show Spoiler +On February 18 2013 21:25 Demoric wrote:
Seeing this thread after experiencing a very bad breakup this weekend ill post my story here aswell to process it a bit.
Please keep it civilised, i do not want to start any religious discussions of the sort.
We Met
May 2010, i was 24 and she was 19. She was my first serious girlfriend ever and she worked at the same place as my mother. She got my emailadress from my mom and we started mailing and chatting for almost a month. She had been in 2 relationships before which ended pretty badly. But she saw me as a well educated and smart guy who was more on the same level with her. We agreed on a date, and i cooked a nice meal for her. It was not love on first sight, but even so we dated the night after that again and we fell in love.
Relationship
We had known from the start that our different views on religion might be a problem, i was pretty much atheist at the time and she was a devout christian. We talked alot about this and i was forced to make a choice to stay with her and share this with her or leave her. At the time i could not make the decision to leave and i stayed with her, hoping i could change and take our relationship further. After some time i also found out that because of her previous relationships and problems with her parents she was also emotionally unstable at times. There where times where she would suddenly be depressed and cry about our relationship, how i was to 'cold' towards religion in her eyes. I was always there for her and tried to comfort her and discuss how we are both different persons and i cannot be the same as her. This was hard at times but i learned to cope with this and be there for her and comfort her. Even so we really loved eachother and where not planning to give our relationship up because of this difference. After a while we started to have conversations about marrying, kids and serious stuff like that. I had recently gotten a job and started earning money. Even so i was not ready to take it to the next level yet, marrying a girl that was emotionally unstable was really scary for me. Especially since my parents divorced aswell and have experienced much distress in my younger years because of that. So we went on for about a year where she would often ask me when i would ask her to marry her. She would even tell this to all her girlfriends. It even got so bad where she would actually set a deadline where i should marry her. I did not budge to this the first time and we had a big fight because of this. Even so, i did ask her to marry me eventually because i loved her and i made the decision to be with her and support her and religion aswell troughout our lives. So from this point onwards we where engaged and times where great for a while. Previous to the engagement i also bought a house which we picked together to live in the future. The house needed alot of rework but it would fit our needs and also for any kids we might have had. Keep in mind that because she was religious and held on to her beliefs she didnt live with me yet until marriage. Also we did not have sex the entire relationship, which was pretty damn hard at times. And i cant believe i actually did this. Even tho we went further then just making out.
Trouble Starts
Last New Years we did not have any plans yet and we decided we did not want to stay at home by ourselves. So i rented a hotel room in Koln and we went there for New Years to watch fireworks and be away from home for a bit. She was however ill, but still wanted to leave when i proposed we did not have to go. So we went, but it was a depressing ordeal, she had been a bit depressed over christmas holidays and being ill now on a trip out wasnt doing well for me either. We did not even stay to watch the fireworks at midnight because she was feeling bad and we went back to the hotel. Two days later when i came back from the first day of work, she was there at my place. And she dropped the bomb on me, she had had alot of doubts again of our relationship, how i was not religous enough in her eyes and was dead and lifeless. She wanted to stay apart for a month to work on ourselves. Now troughout our relationship i went with her to church, did courses there and went to a christian marriage course aswell. So i did for my idea all i could, and perhaps even went to far, to do things i wasnt comfortable with yet. But yet it seemed for her it was never enough. I still played games, even tho i had limited that to 2 nights a week, which we did in agreement. And i was working on more social relationships, i only have one group of friends (which kinda is a geeky group aswell so she didnt really fit in). I guess this and the religion thing combined with her being emotinally unstable set things off.
Break up
So she was gone for almost 6 weeks, 6 weeks where i told her that she needed to make a choice. Between me and the potential i have, or to choose to live without me. Because i could not stand her undecisiveness any longer. And i was tired of trying to live up to her standards in religion aswell. So quite recently we started chatting again and texting, she was actually giving off signals that she would come back. Even tho i was not quite sure of if i wanted to get back i wanted to give it another chance, because i loved her immensely. Being together for 2 and a half years perhaps makes you blind, but you cannot erase feelings of love. So after 6 weeks we met again, she said she wanted to meet in a neutral place to talk about stuff. Foolish as i was i did not pick up on this, and we met. I picked her up and we drove to a forest to have a walk. She was a bit distant and not very talkative. But i guess i was a bit aswell, we had not seen eachother for 6 weeks. I tried to make her feel at ease and we talked about what we where doing now etcetera. So we went to a nice place in the forest and found a bench. We sat there for 20 minutes not talking just cuddling, She then said she wanted to read something to me and picked up a diary of sorts where she collected her thoughts over the last weeks. She read for over an half an hour of her struggles with religion and how she was missing me. Then at the end she said that she wanted to find happiness with God first before me, and had to break up with me. It took a while before it hit me, it pretty much busted my heart. Somehow i could not find the emotion to cry, instead we just walked back to the car barely talking. I dropped her off and we said goodbye. I pretty much had a breakdown after i was home, thank god my parents where there for me.
So yea, that is my story. Even tho it has not ended yet... i do not have much hope for the future with her. She texted me later that she still hopes we will be together in the future. But she wants changes to happen, and i cannot give this to her, even if i wanted to, i do not know how to live up to her standards. Having tried this for almost 3 years. But this is an experience i do not wish to anyone and it broke my heart and left deep scars...
Dude... the fuck...
You've changed yourself way, way too much for this girl.
OT: I was at a New Year's Eve party a few years back and this girl broke up with her boyfriend of like 6 years a few minutes before the New Year. The guy spent the next half-hour throwing up outside. That was pretty rough.
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On February 19 2013 00:08 GhostLink wrote:
So I have liked this girl from school for some time. At first she didn't really notice me, but after about a month, when I've worked up my courage and finally said Hi, we've became "friends". Sort of. She said she liked me, but she wanted to take it slow. She was super hot too, a living embodiment of beauty, or so I thought. So we went on dates, I bought her stuff, but because she wanted to, we were taking it slow. After a few months of this, I pressured her into a more intimate relationship. Then she told me that she's been interested in someone else, and that she sees me as a great friend, and doesn't want to screw it up. So she made it clear that she had no romantic feelings towards me (EVEN THOUGH SHE SAID SHE DID AT THE START), so I thought for a few minutes, then decided to go along with it. I said yeah sure, let's be friends.
So, we stayed friends for over 2 years. I made it my best effort to still charm and flirt with her as much as possible, as non-responsive as she may be. I watched her get dumped by 2 guys, and offered my shoulder for her to cry on.
So after the 3rd guy dumped her (like i said, she was smoking hot, so I can only assume she attracts all sorts of assholes), she had enough. She said that she wanted me more than just a friend now. Unfiendzoned, right?
I said I'll think about it.
I lead her on for a couple of days.
Then the big day had come.
I booked an expensive restaurant, and even rented a limo to take us there, i bought her flowers and a box of chocolates.
As we sat there at the restaurant, she asked me that question again. She asked me if i came to a decision.
And looking at her, how beautiful she was, it took me so much will that i never thought i had in me. I've had half a mind to back out, but i decided to go through with it.
I took her hand, looked her in the eyes, smiled an apologetic smile, and said (surprisingly calmly)
'I just want to be friends. I don't have any romantic feelings for you.'
So after she pleaded for a while, she said fine, she was content with being friends.
I took her hands out of mine, and said 'On the second thought, I changed my mind'.
I let her play with the thought a little, then stood up and said 'I don't want to be friends. Goodbye'.
I left her there.
That was 5 years ago. But I have no regrets. Every once in a while I think back to it, and it still feels good.
I know I probably seem like a complete asshole to you, but come on. She had it coming.
Wait... You kept her as a friend for over 2 years, still flirting tho, watching her get dumped by 3 guys. Then, she finally came to her senses and said she wanted to be with a decent man, a non-douche. This was when you experienced the biggest brainfart in human history, not only rejecting a "super hot" and "living embodiment of beauty" as a "lover", but also breaking an over 2 year long friendship? For what? Just to be a douche? Or what?
Something doesn't add up here....
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On February 18 2013 15:32 KwarK wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 15:14 SamsungStar wrote:
These are not the pretty girl, graveyard lays. These are the fucking wildcats who are down for the most horrible, degrading, depraved acts your male mind could possibly conjure up. Not only are they down for it, they are eager. Time in bed is not about love and sharing and tenderness. It is about hair-pulling, leg-trembling, face-slapping, ass-tonguing, mind-blowing carnal fucking carnage. These are the girls who ride you like you're the last roller coaster on earth, the ones who pull on their fishnets slow as the shifting of a tectonic plate while staring into the depths of your soul to see if there is enough man hiding in there to satisfy them. They're the ones who wake you up in the middle of the night with a drop of sizzling hot wax on your forehead, laugh as you scream WTF, and then shove you back down onto the bed as they do a slow, wet split onto your manhood. You can have all that in a loving committed relationship too.
I can attest to this ^_^
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Wait... You kept her as a friend for over 2 years, still flirting tho, watching her get dumped by 3 guys. Then, she finally came to her senses and said she wanted to be with a decent man, a non-douche. This was when you experienced the biggest brainfart in human history, not only rejecting a "super hot" and "living embodiment of beauty" as a "lover", but also breaking an over 2 year long friendship? For what? Just to be a douche? Or what?
Something doesn't add up here....
I wanted revenge. And I had it. Yes I could have been with her now, but I still have no regrets. I was very hurt by what she did to me at the start, so... It felt quite good.
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On February 19 2013 00:21 TOCHMY wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 00:08 GhostLink wrote:
So I have liked this girl from school for some time. At first she didn't really notice me, but after about a month, when I've worked up my courage and finally said Hi, we've became "friends". Sort of. She said she liked me, but she wanted to take it slow. She was super hot too, a living embodiment of beauty, or so I thought. So we went on dates, I bought her stuff, but because she wanted to, we were taking it slow. After a few months of this, I pressured her into a more intimate relationship. Then she told me that she's been interested in someone else, and that she sees me as a great friend, and doesn't want to screw it up. So she made it clear that she had no romantic feelings towards me (EVEN THOUGH SHE SAID SHE DID AT THE START), so I thought for a few minutes, then decided to go along with it. I said yeah sure, let's be friends.
So, we stayed friends for over 2 years. I made it my best effort to still charm and flirt with her as much as possible, as non-responsive as she may be. I watched her get dumped by 2 guys, and offered my shoulder for her to cry on.
So after the 3rd guy dumped her (like i said, she was smoking hot, so I can only assume she attracts all sorts of assholes), she had enough. She said that she wanted me more than just a friend now. Unfiendzoned, right?
I said I'll think about it.
I lead her on for a couple of days.
Then the big day had come.
I booked an expensive restaurant, and even rented a limo to take us there, i bought her flowers and a box of chocolates.
As we sat there at the restaurant, she asked me that question again. She asked me if i came to a decision.
And looking at her, how beautiful she was, it took me so much will that i never thought i had in me. I've had half a mind to back out, but i decided to go through with it.
I took her hand, looked her in the eyes, smiled an apologetic smile, and said (surprisingly calmly)
'I just want to be friends. I don't have any romantic feelings for you.'
So after she pleaded for a while, she said fine, she was content with being friends.
I took her hands out of mine, and said 'On the second thought, I changed my mind'.
I let her play with the thought a little, then stood up and said 'I don't want to be friends. Goodbye'.
I left her there.
That was 5 years ago. But I have no regrets. Every once in a while I think back to it, and it still feels good.
I know I probably seem like a complete asshole to you, but come on. She had it coming. Wait... You kept her as a friend for over 2 years, still flirting tho, watching her get dumped by 3 guys. Then, she finally came to her senses and said she wanted to be with a decent man, a non-douche. This was when you experienced the biggest brainfart in human history, not only rejecting a "super hot" and "living embodiment of beauty" as a "lover", but also breaking an over 2 year long friendship? For what? Just to be a douche? Or what? Something doesn't add up here....
Pretty much my thoughts. Anyways it wouldn't had worked, since he obviously had resentment against her, and normally there is no coming back from there.
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Boyfriend of my cousin shot himself before her in their Flat after they had a fight...
Doesn't get worse than that, does it?
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On February 19 2013 00:31 GhostLink wrote:Show nested quote +Wait... You kept her as a friend for over 2 years, still flirting tho, watching her get dumped by 3 guys. Then, she finally came to her senses and said she wanted to be with a decent man, a non-douche. This was when you experienced the biggest brainfart in human history, not only rejecting a "super hot" and "living embodiment of beauty" as a "lover", but also breaking an over 2 year long friendship? For what? Just to be a douche? Or what?
Something doesn't add up here.... I wanted revenge. And I had it. Yes I could have been with her now, but I still have no regrets. I was very hurt by what she did to me at the start, so... It felt quite good.
I feel like you need to accept that people make mistakes. She finally got her shit back together, manned up and came back to you (which takes a lot of guts) and what do you do? You rejected her. Not to be mean but you kinda seem like the bad guy here  .
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On February 18 2013 23:40 TOCHMY wrote:I have a personal rule not to engage myself with religious girls (or ppl overall but especially girls). On the plusside, being in a relationship with a devout religious girl, you don't have to worry about getting cheated on. Except with god ofc.
What a load of bull. The most devout couple I ever met, he was screwing someone else. The religious part of it was that he admitted to it and asked to be prayed for.
I got to know quite a few of devout Christians, they come in in two types imho. The ones that are actually living their faith, as in calling their conscience/gut feeling 'the holy spirit' and finding joy in their lives, while keeping an open mind. The second type is very dogmatic, secretly feels superior to the rest of the world and any sane person finds them batshit crazy. The latter ones outnumbered the first ones by quite a bit. I would possibly consider dating one of the 'happy' type.
Worst 'breakup' for me: Around 3rd month of casual dating, getting a sms that she 'has been thinking' and 'wants to stay friends'. I'm pretty sure I would not have lived up to her (Chinese) parents' expectations and thus she did not want to take the plunge.
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EPT
