|
On February 19 2013 02:50 baba1 wrote:Show nested quote +On February 18 2013 13:22 SolidMotion wrote:
Enter my fucked up story:
So my first experience ever falling for a girl was when I was 16... I wasn't nerdy but I had some of the best grades in my year, wasn't awful at sports either, just didn't excel at them, look wise I'd say slightly above average but nothing special. So i meet this girl at the beginning of the year who's new to town and I just have "the love on first sight" kinda thing, and I had never experienced that before. She wasn't insanely beautiful or anything either but everytime she smilled it just sparked something in me that I couldn't explain and I just wanted to be with her. Fate, being as funny as it is, also decided that she was going to be in almost all my classes. In hindsight, I probably was the first guy that talked to her at the school. Anyway... moving on.
So the first few months of the school year pass everything is going great, we're really good friends at that point as well... Fate strikes again but this time in a terrible way: both of her parents die in a freak car accident during christmas break. School starts again and then she just turns into somewhat of a ball of hate from that point on, losing all her friends and people start looking at her as a weirdo. She deals a lot of painful emotional shit to me as well at this point but I just can't seem to bring myself to let her down and I keep trying and talking to her to see if I can help, like a good friend would right ?
So not too long after that I somehow manage to get to her and she realizes she's lost almost all her friends and that even after all of this I'm still the only one around... I don't want to stay around here too much but suffice to say we get together not long after this, being really grateful for all I've done and all of that... From that point on until the last two months of school, I'm basically in paradise, all is going well, my life is great... and best of all I finally someone with whom I feel like I can share anything... appearances then also indicate that seems to be mutual. Then shit starts hitting the fan...
So during that time we were dating she was doing well again and started getting more social, especially with the people that were considered to be the "populars". Now, the popular people from the year I was in were kind of fucked up, and I had heard stories about the weird "games" and notion of fun they had but had never really payed attention to it, and in hindsight since my gf starting hanging out with them, I really should have... Man, I really wish I had...
During that time she started changing as well, she was slowly becoming like them and the stuff she sometime would say scared me, we got into a few fights over that as well... So we hit a point where she decides we have to take a break while she thinks things out, I get really bummed out but being really in love I decide to stay calm and let her do it, the fights and that all happened within a week, that should have been my first warning sign...
During the next 2 weeks we don't talk much, and then she calls me out to meet her at a local restaurant during the week-end. That restaurant is in front of my school, right next to the school there was wood, the wood basically served as a barrier between my school and the college right next to it. Suffice to say it was big enough that people could go into it and not be seen from the outside. So we eat, she seems to be normal, or at least her last two months normal and we talk over, when we're done eating we decide to go for a walk in said wood, which we usually did. So we do that... Going on that walk was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and in hindsight, I don't know if there was anything I could have done about it.
So when we enter the wood we keep walking and then she stops making sense at starts screaming at me, I don't really remember much of what it was about but an arguement started and that led to one of the worst moment of my existence... Out of nowhere someone hit me in the back of the head with something really heavy, don't even know what it was, all i know is that it was painful and I felt I was bleeding. I think I lost consciousness there for a bit. When I came back to a few moments later, don't know how long it was, I was seeing her laughing with all of her friends... they were these "popular kids", guys and girl alike were there, all just laughing and yelling shit at me. My ex then just starts kissing the guy that was holding a baseball bat, which is basically the guy who hit me... Turns out they'd been together for a while now and no one seemed to have told me... I felt like a fucking fool... I won't go much into what happened next because I don't think I can write it down without breaking down... I'll just end it at "I was lucky enough to fall unconscious pretty fast".
I woke up two weeks later in the hospital and was told I had suffered two skull fracture, all my ribs were broken and yadi yada that they pretty much didn't know how the fuck I made it out alive... Nice wake up call huh ?
I managed to get back to school on the 2nd week of the last month... My life was hell for the next two weeks... Everyone knew what happened, they even got away with it. No one would talk to me, they made sure of it. Her bf and his gang would wait for me at the end and beat me up for the fun of it, I was still healing at that point too, which made it extremely painful...
Last week of school comes and I'm basically about go mentally breakdown... Last gym class of the year comes... I happen to walk behind him while he's bending over in his locker... I had a baseball bat in my hands at that point and I just couldn't take it anymore... I flipped out and I started hitting him... He was down and not moving after two hits but I was just so scared he was going to get up and start beating the shit out of me... So I just kept swinging and swinging... Some people finally tried stopping me... apparently it took 3... I don't have much memory from there, probably my brain shutting it down in hindsight...
I got a case out of it, but the judge knew of what happened so thats all I got, I was allowed to take the end of year exams that were the week after but I was basically banned from that school and had to move out after that...
The only satisfaction I hold from all of this is that this guy is now stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life... Call me a monster but that's one of the only things that looking back makes me really happy...
I really feel like shit now, I don't even want to write the second story... it's just so much worst... I don't know what happened to her after that and the least I know the better... As I heard after that they had been dating for the last 2 months before that happened, making fun of me within their circle... I just hope I don't see her again because the actions I commit if I do might not end up being pleasant for her... The second accident pretty much fucked my life up so bad that I don't think shit can be worst than they are now anyway...
I'm done... Those people are fucking disgusting. I'm happy you knocked the guy in a wheelchair, payback is a bitch. The girl didn't get what she deserves yet but karma will catch up to her eventually. I don't know you but I'm fucking proud of you.
my exact thoughts.
User was warned for this post
|
i was in a pizzeria called lenny's once and this ~40 white woman starts yelling on her cell phone. she clearly just found out her husband was having an affair on her. it was a while ago but i do remember her yelling she was going to divorce him. place was really loud and noisy and packed but everyone shut up when she started yelling, and she didn't stop. it was like 50 people in a room all watching one person's life crumble apart. pretty crazy.
yeah i hate the popular kids
|
On February 19 2013 02:53 amaDeus wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 02:50 baba1 wrote:On February 18 2013 13:22 SolidMotion wrote:
Enter my fucked up story:
So my first experience ever falling for a girl was when I was 16... I wasn't nerdy but I had some of the best grades in my year, wasn't awful at sports either, just didn't excel at them, look wise I'd say slightly above average but nothing special. So i meet this girl at the beginning of the year who's new to town and I just have "the love on first sight" kinda thing, and I had never experienced that before. She wasn't insanely beautiful or anything either but everytime she smilled it just sparked something in me that I couldn't explain and I just wanted to be with her. Fate, being as funny as it is, also decided that she was going to be in almost all my classes. In hindsight, I probably was the first guy that talked to her at the school. Anyway... moving on.
So the first few months of the school year pass everything is going great, we're really good friends at that point as well... Fate strikes again but this time in a terrible way: both of her parents die in a freak car accident during christmas break. School starts again and then she just turns into somewhat of a ball of hate from that point on, losing all her friends and people start looking at her as a weirdo. She deals a lot of painful emotional shit to me as well at this point but I just can't seem to bring myself to let her down and I keep trying and talking to her to see if I can help, like a good friend would right ?
So not too long after that I somehow manage to get to her and she realizes she's lost almost all her friends and that even after all of this I'm still the only one around... I don't want to stay around here too much but suffice to say we get together not long after this, being really grateful for all I've done and all of that... From that point on until the last two months of school, I'm basically in paradise, all is going well, my life is great... and best of all I finally someone with whom I feel like I can share anything... appearances then also indicate that seems to be mutual. Then shit starts hitting the fan...
So during that time we were dating she was doing well again and started getting more social, especially with the people that were considered to be the "populars". Now, the popular people from the year I was in were kind of fucked up, and I had heard stories about the weird "games" and notion of fun they had but had never really payed attention to it, and in hindsight since my gf starting hanging out with them, I really should have... Man, I really wish I had...
During that time she started changing as well, she was slowly becoming like them and the stuff she sometime would say scared me, we got into a few fights over that as well... So we hit a point where she decides we have to take a break while she thinks things out, I get really bummed out but being really in love I decide to stay calm and let her do it, the fights and that all happened within a week, that should have been my first warning sign...
During the next 2 weeks we don't talk much, and then she calls me out to meet her at a local restaurant during the week-end. That restaurant is in front of my school, right next to the school there was wood, the wood basically served as a barrier between my school and the college right next to it. Suffice to say it was big enough that people could go into it and not be seen from the outside. So we eat, she seems to be normal, or at least her last two months normal and we talk over, when we're done eating we decide to go for a walk in said wood, which we usually did. So we do that... Going on that walk was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and in hindsight, I don't know if there was anything I could have done about it.
So when we enter the wood we keep walking and then she stops making sense at starts screaming at me, I don't really remember much of what it was about but an arguement started and that led to one of the worst moment of my existence... Out of nowhere someone hit me in the back of the head with something really heavy, don't even know what it was, all i know is that it was painful and I felt I was bleeding. I think I lost consciousness there for a bit. When I came back to a few moments later, don't know how long it was, I was seeing her laughing with all of her friends... they were these "popular kids", guys and girl alike were there, all just laughing and yelling shit at me. My ex then just starts kissing the guy that was holding a baseball bat, which is basically the guy who hit me... Turns out they'd been together for a while now and no one seemed to have told me... I felt like a fucking fool... I won't go much into what happened next because I don't think I can write it down without breaking down... I'll just end it at "I was lucky enough to fall unconscious pretty fast".
I woke up two weeks later in the hospital and was told I had suffered two skull fracture, all my ribs were broken and yadi yada that they pretty much didn't know how the fuck I made it out alive... Nice wake up call huh ?
I managed to get back to school on the 2nd week of the last month... My life was hell for the next two weeks... Everyone knew what happened, they even got away with it. No one would talk to me, they made sure of it. Her bf and his gang would wait for me at the end and beat me up for the fun of it, I was still healing at that point too, which made it extremely painful...
Last week of school comes and I'm basically about go mentally breakdown... Last gym class of the year comes... I happen to walk behind him while he's bending over in his locker... I had a baseball bat in my hands at that point and I just couldn't take it anymore... I flipped out and I started hitting him... He was down and not moving after two hits but I was just so scared he was going to get up and start beating the shit out of me... So I just kept swinging and swinging... Some people finally tried stopping me... apparently it took 3... I don't have much memory from there, probably my brain shutting it down in hindsight...
I got a case out of it, but the judge knew of what happened so thats all I got, I was allowed to take the end of year exams that were the week after but I was basically banned from that school and had to move out after that...
The only satisfaction I hold from all of this is that this guy is now stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life... Call me a monster but that's one of the only things that looking back makes me really happy...
I really feel like shit now, I don't even want to write the second story... it's just so much worst... I don't know what happened to her after that and the least I know the better... As I heard after that they had been dating for the last 2 months before that happened, making fun of me within their circle... I just hope I don't see her again because the actions I commit if I do might not end up being pleasant for her... The second accident pretty much fucked my life up so bad that I don't think shit can be worst than they are now anyway...
I'm done... Those people are fucking disgusting. I'm happy you knocked the guy in a wheelchair, payback is a bitch. The girl didn't get what she deserves yet but karma will catch up to her eventually. I don't know you but I'm fucking proud of you. my exact thoughts.
Holy shit dude, I can't believe that happened to you. It's almost like something you only see in a really fucked up movie. Can't say you are in the wrong for putting that asshole in a wheelchair, you could have ended up the same to begin with. Good on you man, pull yourself together and be proud of yourself. There are fucked up people everywhere and you did what you had to do.
User was warned for this post
|
On February 18 2013 13:22 SolidMotion wrote:
Enter my fucked up story:
So my first experience ever falling for a girl was when I was 16... I wasn't nerdy but I had some of the best grades in my year, wasn't awful at sports either, just didn't excel at them, look wise I'd say slightly above average but nothing special. So i meet this girl at the beginning of the year who's new to town and I just have "the love on first sight" kinda thing, and I had never experienced that before. She wasn't insanely beautiful or anything either but everytime she smilled it just sparked something in me that I couldn't explain and I just wanted to be with her. Fate, being as funny as it is, also decided that she was going to be in almost all my classes. In hindsight, I probably was the first guy that talked to her at the school. Anyway... moving on.
So the first few months of the school year pass everything is going great, we're really good friends at that point as well... Fate strikes again but this time in a terrible way: both of her parents die in a freak car accident during christmas break. School starts again and then she just turns into somewhat of a ball of hate from that point on, losing all her friends and people start looking at her as a weirdo. She deals a lot of painful emotional shit to me as well at this point but I just can't seem to bring myself to let her down and I keep trying and talking to her to see if I can help, like a good friend would right ?
So not too long after that I somehow manage to get to her and she realizes she's lost almost all her friends and that even after all of this I'm still the only one around... I don't want to stay around here too much but suffice to say we get together not long after this, being really grateful for all I've done and all of that... From that point on until the last two months of school, I'm basically in paradise, all is going well, my life is great... and best of all I finally someone with whom I feel like I can share anything... appearances then also indicate that seems to be mutual. Then shit starts hitting the fan...
So during that time we were dating she was doing well again and started getting more social, especially with the people that were considered to be the "populars". Now, the popular people from the year I was in were kind of fucked up, and I had heard stories about the weird "games" and notion of fun they had but had never really payed attention to it, and in hindsight since my gf starting hanging out with them, I really should have... Man, I really wish I had...
During that time she started changing as well, she was slowly becoming like them and the stuff she sometime would say scared me, we got into a few fights over that as well... So we hit a point where she decides we have to take a break while she thinks things out, I get really bummed out but being really in love I decide to stay calm and let her do it, the fights and that all happened within a week, that should have been my first warning sign...
During the next 2 weeks we don't talk much, and then she calls me out to meet her at a local restaurant during the week-end. That restaurant is in front of my school, right next to the school there was wood, the wood basically served as a barrier between my school and the college right next to it. Suffice to say it was big enough that people could go into it and not be seen from the outside. So we eat, she seems to be normal, or at least her last two months normal and we talk over, when we're done eating we decide to go for a walk in said wood, which we usually did. So we do that... Going on that walk was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and in hindsight, I don't know if there was anything I could have done about it.
So when we enter the wood we keep walking and then she stops making sense at starts screaming at me, I don't really remember much of what it was about but an arguement started and that led to one of the worst moment of my existence... Out of nowhere someone hit me in the back of the head with something really heavy, don't even know what it was, all i know is that it was painful and I felt I was bleeding. I think I lost consciousness there for a bit. When I came back to a few moments later, don't know how long it was, I was seeing her laughing with all of her friends... they were these "popular kids", guys and girl alike were there, all just laughing and yelling shit at me. My ex then just starts kissing the guy that was holding a baseball bat, which is basically the guy who hit me... Turns out they'd been together for a while now and no one seemed to have told me... I felt like a fucking fool... I won't go much into what happened next because I don't think I can write it down without breaking down... I'll just end it at "I was lucky enough to fall unconscious pretty fast".
I woke up two weeks later in the hospital and was told I had suffered two skull fracture, all my ribs were broken and yadi yada that they pretty much didn't know how the fuck I made it out alive... Nice wake up call huh ?
I managed to get back to school on the 2nd week of the last month... My life was hell for the next two weeks... Everyone knew what happened, they even got away with it. No one would talk to me, they made sure of it. Her bf and his gang would wait for me at the end and beat me up for the fun of it, I was still healing at that point too, which made it extremely painful...
Last week of school comes and I'm basically about go mentally breakdown... Last gym class of the year comes... I happen to walk behind him while he's bending over in his locker... I had a baseball bat in my hands at that point and I just couldn't take it anymore... I flipped out and I started hitting him... He was down and not moving after two hits but I was just so scared he was going to get up and start beating the shit out of me... So I just kept swinging and swinging... Some people finally tried stopping me... apparently it took 3... I don't have much memory from there, probably my brain shutting it down in hindsight...
I got a case out of it, but the judge knew of what happened so thats all I got, I was allowed to take the end of year exams that were the week after but I was basically banned from that school and had to move out after that...
The only satisfaction I hold from all of this is that this guy is now stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life... Call me a monster but that's one of the only things that looking back makes me really happy...
I really feel like shit now, I don't even want to write the second story... it's just so much worst... I don't know what happened to her after that and the least I know the better... As I heard after that they had been dating for the last 2 months before that happened, making fun of me within their circle... I just hope I don't see her again because the actions I commit if I do might not end up being pleasant for her... The second accident pretty much fucked my life up so bad that I don't think shit can be worst than they are now anyway...
I'm done...
I don't like to advocate violence but I have to be honest: The bully got what he deserved.
|
I think this big story has made every teenage or adult feel emotionally attached.
So FREE HUGS
|
On February 19 2013 03:17 Prevolved wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 02:53 amaDeus wrote:On February 19 2013 02:50 baba1 wrote:On February 18 2013 13:22 SolidMotion wrote:
Enter my fucked up story:
So my first experience ever falling for a girl was when I was 16... I wasn't nerdy but I had some of the best grades in my year, wasn't awful at sports either, just didn't excel at them, look wise I'd say slightly above average but nothing special. So i meet this girl at the beginning of the year who's new to town and I just have "the love on first sight" kinda thing, and I had never experienced that before. She wasn't insanely beautiful or anything either but everytime she smilled it just sparked something in me that I couldn't explain and I just wanted to be with her. Fate, being as funny as it is, also decided that she was going to be in almost all my classes. In hindsight, I probably was the first guy that talked to her at the school. Anyway... moving on.
So the first few months of the school year pass everything is going great, we're really good friends at that point as well... Fate strikes again but this time in a terrible way: both of her parents die in a freak car accident during christmas break. School starts again and then she just turns into somewhat of a ball of hate from that point on, losing all her friends and people start looking at her as a weirdo. She deals a lot of painful emotional shit to me as well at this point but I just can't seem to bring myself to let her down and I keep trying and talking to her to see if I can help, like a good friend would right ?
So not too long after that I somehow manage to get to her and she realizes she's lost almost all her friends and that even after all of this I'm still the only one around... I don't want to stay around here too much but suffice to say we get together not long after this, being really grateful for all I've done and all of that... From that point on until the last two months of school, I'm basically in paradise, all is going well, my life is great... and best of all I finally someone with whom I feel like I can share anything... appearances then also indicate that seems to be mutual. Then shit starts hitting the fan...
So during that time we were dating she was doing well again and started getting more social, especially with the people that were considered to be the "populars". Now, the popular people from the year I was in were kind of fucked up, and I had heard stories about the weird "games" and notion of fun they had but had never really payed attention to it, and in hindsight since my gf starting hanging out with them, I really should have... Man, I really wish I had...
During that time she started changing as well, she was slowly becoming like them and the stuff she sometime would say scared me, we got into a few fights over that as well... So we hit a point where she decides we have to take a break while she thinks things out, I get really bummed out but being really in love I decide to stay calm and let her do it, the fights and that all happened within a week, that should have been my first warning sign...
During the next 2 weeks we don't talk much, and then she calls me out to meet her at a local restaurant during the week-end. That restaurant is in front of my school, right next to the school there was wood, the wood basically served as a barrier between my school and the college right next to it. Suffice to say it was big enough that people could go into it and not be seen from the outside. So we eat, she seems to be normal, or at least her last two months normal and we talk over, when we're done eating we decide to go for a walk in said wood, which we usually did. So we do that... Going on that walk was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and in hindsight, I don't know if there was anything I could have done about it.
So when we enter the wood we keep walking and then she stops making sense at starts screaming at me, I don't really remember much of what it was about but an arguement started and that led to one of the worst moment of my existence... Out of nowhere someone hit me in the back of the head with something really heavy, don't even know what it was, all i know is that it was painful and I felt I was bleeding. I think I lost consciousness there for a bit. When I came back to a few moments later, don't know how long it was, I was seeing her laughing with all of her friends... they were these "popular kids", guys and girl alike were there, all just laughing and yelling shit at me. My ex then just starts kissing the guy that was holding a baseball bat, which is basically the guy who hit me... Turns out they'd been together for a while now and no one seemed to have told me... I felt like a fucking fool... I won't go much into what happened next because I don't think I can write it down without breaking down... I'll just end it at "I was lucky enough to fall unconscious pretty fast".
I woke up two weeks later in the hospital and was told I had suffered two skull fracture, all my ribs were broken and yadi yada that they pretty much didn't know how the fuck I made it out alive... Nice wake up call huh ?
I managed to get back to school on the 2nd week of the last month... My life was hell for the next two weeks... Everyone knew what happened, they even got away with it. No one would talk to me, they made sure of it. Her bf and his gang would wait for me at the end and beat me up for the fun of it, I was still healing at that point too, which made it extremely painful...
Last week of school comes and I'm basically about go mentally breakdown... Last gym class of the year comes... I happen to walk behind him while he's bending over in his locker... I had a baseball bat in my hands at that point and I just couldn't take it anymore... I flipped out and I started hitting him... He was down and not moving after two hits but I was just so scared he was going to get up and start beating the shit out of me... So I just kept swinging and swinging... Some people finally tried stopping me... apparently it took 3... I don't have much memory from there, probably my brain shutting it down in hindsight...
I got a case out of it, but the judge knew of what happened so thats all I got, I was allowed to take the end of year exams that were the week after but I was basically banned from that school and had to move out after that...
The only satisfaction I hold from all of this is that this guy is now stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life... Call me a monster but that's one of the only things that looking back makes me really happy...
I really feel like shit now, I don't even want to write the second story... it's just so much worst... I don't know what happened to her after that and the least I know the better... As I heard after that they had been dating for the last 2 months before that happened, making fun of me within their circle... I just hope I don't see her again because the actions I commit if I do might not end up being pleasant for her... The second accident pretty much fucked my life up so bad that I don't think shit can be worst than they are now anyway...
I'm done... Those people are fucking disgusting. I'm happy you knocked the guy in a wheelchair, payback is a bitch. The girl didn't get what she deserves yet but karma will catch up to her eventually. I don't know you but I'm fucking proud of you. my exact thoughts. Holy shit dude, I can't believe that happened to you. It's almost like something you only see in a really fucked up movie. Can't say you are in the wrong for putting that asshole in a wheelchair, you could have ended up the same to begin with. Good on you man, pull yourself together and be proud of yourself. There are fucked up people everywhere and you did what you had to do. User was warned for this post
you definitely did good - the man had it coming.
|
On February 19 2013 00:50 GhostLink wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 00:40 LOveRH wrote:On February 19 2013 00:31 GhostLink wrote:Wait... You kept her as a friend for over 2 years, still flirting tho, watching her get dumped by 3 guys. Then, she finally came to her senses and said she wanted to be with a decent man, a non-douche. This was when you experienced the biggest brainfart in human history, not only rejecting a "super hot" and "living embodiment of beauty" as a "lover", but also breaking an over 2 year long friendship? For what? Just to be a douche? Or what?
Something doesn't add up here.... I wanted revenge. And I had it. Yes I could have been with her now, but I still have no regrets. I was very hurt by what she did to me at the start, so... It felt quite good. I feel like you need to accept that people make mistakes. She finally got her shit back together, manned up and came back to you (which takes a lot of guts) and what do you do? You rejected her. Not to be mean but you kinda seem like the bad guy here  . I can understand why you would think that. But I'd hate myself if i didn't do what i did. After all, that was the plan from the beginning. I've committed myself to being her friend for 2 years while watching her date other guys. Sure, I could have just taken the easy way out and started dating her, but then all that effort was to go to waste. For once i listened to my brain. I'd wager that if i did say yes and start dating her, she'd dump me soon enough for some other asshole, because i wasn't cool, or gym-pumped, so owned a nightclub. Then that person would dump her, and she'd come back crying to me, and so the cycle continues.
The mature thing to do is always give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Going the revenge route does not make you a better man, you are the one that is completing the cycle as well. Anyone could choose to be a dick in that kind of situation but it's harder to forgive and try to have a relationship. Unless it is your child you have no right to 'teach' another person a lesson. That kind of thinking is just lowering yourself to another level.
|
Hahahahah I'm actually dying
|
On February 18 2013 21:25 Demoric wrote:
Seeing this thread after experiencing a very bad breakup this weekend ill post my story here aswell to process it a bit.
Please keep it civilised, i do not want to start any religious discussions of the sort.
We Met
May 2010, i was 24 and she was 19. She was my first serious girlfriend ever and she worked at the same place as my mother. She got my emailadress from my mom and we started mailing and chatting for almost a month. She had been in 2 relationships before which ended pretty badly. But she saw me as a well educated and smart guy who was more on the same level with her. We agreed on a date, and i cooked a nice meal for her. It was not love on first sight, but even so we dated the night after that again and we fell in love.
Relationship
We had known from the start that our different views on religion might be a problem, i was pretty much atheist at the time and she was a devout christian. We talked alot about this and i was forced to make a choice to stay with her and share this with her or leave her. At the time i could not make the decision to leave and i stayed with her, hoping i could change and take our relationship further. After some time i also found out that because of her previous relationships and problems with her parents she was also emotionally unstable at times. There where times where she would suddenly be depressed and cry about our relationship, how i was to 'cold' towards religion in her eyes. I was always there for her and tried to comfort her and discuss how we are both different persons and i cannot be the same as her. This was hard at times but i learned to cope with this and be there for her and comfort her. Even so we really loved eachother and where not planning to give our relationship up because of this difference. After a while we started to have conversations about marrying, kids and serious stuff like that. I had recently gotten a job and started earning money. Even so i was not ready to take it to the next level yet, marrying a girl that was emotionally unstable was really scary for me. Especially since my parents divorced aswell and have experienced much distress in my younger years because of that. So we went on for about a year where she would often ask me when i would ask her to marry her. She would even tell this to all her girlfriends. It even got so bad where she would actually set a deadline where i should marry her. I did not budge to this the first time and we had a big fight because of this. Even so, i did ask her to marry me eventually because i loved her and i made the decision to be with her and support her and religion aswell troughout our lives. So from this point onwards we where engaged and times where great for a while. Previous to the engagement i also bought a house which we picked together to live in the future. The house needed alot of rework but it would fit our needs and also for any kids we might have had. Keep in mind that because she was religious and held on to her beliefs she didnt live with me yet until marriage. Also we did not have sex the entire relationship, which was pretty damn hard at times. And i cant believe i actually did this. Even tho we went further then just making out.
Trouble Starts
Last New Years we did not have any plans yet and we decided we did not want to stay at home by ourselves. So i rented a hotel room in Koln and we went there for New Years to watch fireworks and be away from home for a bit. She was however ill, but still wanted to leave when i proposed we did not have to go. So we went, but it was a depressing ordeal, she had been a bit depressed over christmas holidays and being ill now on a trip out wasnt doing well for me either. We did not even stay to watch the fireworks at midnight because she was feeling bad and we went back to the hotel. Two days later when i came back from the first day of work, she was there at my place. And she dropped the bomb on me, she had had alot of doubts again of our relationship, how i was not religous enough in her eyes and was dead and lifeless. She wanted to stay apart for a month to work on ourselves. Now troughout our relationship i went with her to church, did courses there and went to a christian marriage course aswell. So i did for my idea all i could, and perhaps even went to far, to do things i wasnt comfortable with yet. But yet it seemed for her it was never enough. I still played games, even tho i had limited that to 2 nights a week, which we did in agreement. And i was working on more social relationships, i only have one group of friends (which kinda is a geeky group aswell so she didnt really fit in). I guess this and the religion thing combined with her being emotinally unstable set things off.
Break up
So she was gone for almost 6 weeks, 6 weeks where i told her that she needed to make a choice. Between me and the potential i have, or to choose to live without me. Because i could not stand her undecisiveness any longer. And i was tired of trying to live up to her standards in religion aswell. So quite recently we started chatting again and texting, she was actually giving off signals that she would come back. Even tho i was not quite sure of if i wanted to get back i wanted to give it another chance, because i loved her immensely. Being together for 2 and a half years perhaps makes you blind, but you cannot erase feelings of love. So after 6 weeks we met again, she said she wanted to meet in a neutral place to talk about stuff. Foolish as i was i did not pick up on this, and we met. I picked her up and we drove to a forest to have a walk. She was a bit distant and not very talkative. But i guess i was a bit aswell, we had not seen eachother for 6 weeks. I tried to make her feel at ease and we talked about what we where doing now etcetera. So we went to a nice place in the forest and found a bench. We sat there for 20 minutes not talking just cuddling, She then said she wanted to read something to me and picked up a diary of sorts where she collected her thoughts over the last weeks. She read for over an half an hour of her struggles with religion and how she was missing me. Then at the end she said that she wanted to find happiness with God first before me, and had to break up with me. It took a while before it hit me, it pretty much busted my heart. Somehow i could not find the emotion to cry, instead we just walked back to the car barely talking. I dropped her off and we said goodbye. I pretty much had a breakdown after i was home, thank god my parents where there for me.
So yea, that is my story. Even tho it has not ended yet... i do not have much hope for the future with her. She texted me later that she still hopes we will be together in the future. But she wants changes to happen, and i cannot give this to her, even if i wanted to, i do not know how to live up to her standards. Having tried this for almost 3 years. But this is an experience i do not wish to anyone and it broke my heart and left deep scars...
I apologize if this is insensitive, but you're lucky it ended before you got in even deeper. I've been in your shoes (dating a devoutly religious girl while being an atheist myself) and I don't know of a single situation in which people have actually made that work. You need to realize that she probably grew up being fed a religious mindset from day one, and unless you can come to fully and truly believe the way she does, it's going to eat at you because you're going to be living a lie for her. It sounds to me like you did enough to please most religious people (when I was in your shoes, I ended up going to church one single time and that was all I could take), and I sincerely think you're better off now because you can (eventually) look for someone who has moral and spiritual views more in line with your own. Differing religious views are one of the absolute hardest things to overcome in a relationship, and if the other person is truly devout, you're screwed from day one. The only way a relationship with differing religious views could possibly work is if both people are willing to meet somewhere in the middle... but someone as devout as she was won't ever move an inch towards your position.
TLDR, trying to date someone who's hyper-religious is almost always a bad idea because even if things are good at first, you'll eventually get to the "convert or gtfo" ultimatum. And that never goes well.
|
On February 18 2013 23:40 TOCHMY wrote:I have a personal rule not to engage myself with religious girls (or ppl overall but especially girls). On the plusside, being in a relationship with a devout religious girl, you don't have to worry about getting cheated on. Except with god ofc.
Believe it or not, this is untrue. My devoutly religious ex cheated on me. Being super-religious doesn't excuse some people from being sociopaths.
|
On February 19 2013 04:03 tokicheese wrote:Hahahahah I'm actually dying
Oh this was so painful it was amazing!
I'm near tears.
EDIT: My TL birthday has begun!
|
I guess the first question to ask, is all of what is described in this thread to be considered as normal, or is there something wrong? If so, what is it? It just seems to me like there is a systematic problem.
I believe this could potentially be a solution to a lot of the problems we're seeing here:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/200908/another-way-make-love
The above is a piece of it, but there are other pieces beyond just that article that I've seen.
|
On February 19 2013 03:54 LOveRH wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 00:50 GhostLink wrote:On February 19 2013 00:40 LOveRH wrote:On February 19 2013 00:31 GhostLink wrote:Wait... You kept her as a friend for over 2 years, still flirting tho, watching her get dumped by 3 guys. Then, she finally came to her senses and said she wanted to be with a decent man, a non-douche. This was when you experienced the biggest brainfart in human history, not only rejecting a "super hot" and "living embodiment of beauty" as a "lover", but also breaking an over 2 year long friendship? For what? Just to be a douche? Or what?
Something doesn't add up here.... I wanted revenge. And I had it. Yes I could have been with her now, but I still have no regrets. I was very hurt by what she did to me at the start, so... It felt quite good. I feel like you need to accept that people make mistakes. She finally got her shit back together, manned up and came back to you (which takes a lot of guts) and what do you do? You rejected her. Not to be mean but you kinda seem like the bad guy here . I can understand why you would think that. But I'd hate myself if i didn't do what i did. After all, that was the plan from the beginning. I've committed myself to being her friend for 2 years while watching her date other guys. Sure, I could have just taken the easy way out and started dating her, but then all that effort was to go to waste. For once i listened to my brain. I'd wager that if i did say yes and start dating her, she'd dump me soon enough for some other asshole, because i wasn't cool, or gym-pumped, so owned a nightclub. Then that person would dump her, and she'd come back crying to me, and so the cycle continues. The mature thing to do is always give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Going the revenge route does not make you a better man, you are the one that is completing the cycle as well. Anyone could choose to be a dick in that kind of situation but it's harder to forgive and try to have a relationship. Unless it is your child you have no right to 'teach' another person a lesson. That kind of thinking is just lowering yourself to another level.
I wouldn't have gone with her, but not for the whole 'revenge' thing. Honestly I feel that the 'revenge' thing is kind of pathetic. I wouldn't have stayed with her because there is a certain frame that is set at the beginning of a relationship. If that frame is weak, the relationship is going to come crashing down in the future as more is built onto it. Most relationships don't have a strong foundation, and they crumble as time goes on. Really it was best he meet other women, she's not the only girl out there. Although the way he just walked out on this girl is pretty mean.
|
I've never been in a relationship, and from the sounds of these stories, perhaps that's for the best. Hopefully, when I do start dating, these types of people will be few and far between.
On February 19 2013 04:32 KillerSOS wrote:Oh this was so painful it was amazing! I'm near tears. EDIT: My TL birthday has begun!
Happy Birthday!
|
On February 19 2013 06:53 fight_or_flight wrote:I guess the first question to ask, is all of what is described in this thread to be considered as normal, or is there something wrong? If so, what is it? It just seems to me like there is a systematic problem. I believe this could potentially be a solution to a lot of the problems we're seeing here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/cupids-poisoned-arrow/200908/another-way-make-loveThe above is a piece of it, but there are other pieces beyond just that article that I've seen.
The thread is called "worst breakups"
no one is going to come in here and talk about how awesome their relationship is.
|
On February 19 2013 00:56 SamsungStar wrote:Show nested quote +On February 19 2013 00:50 GhostLink wrote:On February 19 2013 00:40 LOveRH wrote:On February 19 2013 00:31 GhostLink wrote:Wait... You kept her as a friend for over 2 years, still flirting tho, watching her get dumped by 3 guys. Then, she finally came to her senses and said she wanted to be with a decent man, a non-douche. This was when you experienced the biggest brainfart in human history, not only rejecting a "super hot" and "living embodiment of beauty" as a "lover", but also breaking an over 2 year long friendship? For what? Just to be a douche? Or what?
Something doesn't add up here.... I wanted revenge. And I had it. Yes I could have been with her now, but I still have no regrets. I was very hurt by what she did to me at the start, so... It felt quite good. I feel like you need to accept that people make mistakes. She finally got her shit back together, manned up and came back to you (which takes a lot of guts) and what do you do? You rejected her. Not to be mean but you kinda seem like the bad guy here . I can understand why you would think that. But I'd hate myself if i didn't do what i did. After all, that was the plan from the beginning. I've committed myself to being her friend for 2 years while watching her date other guys. Sure, I could have just taken the easy way out and started dating her, but then all that effort was to go to waste. For once i listened to my brain. I'd wager that if i did say yes and start dating her, she'd dump me soon enough for some other asshole, because i wasn't cool, or gym-pumped, so owned a nightclub. Then that person would dump her, and she'd come back crying to me, and so the cycle continues. You did good, Ghostlink. I fully agree with your logic. A lesser man would have caved in. You taught her a valuable lesson, hopefully she took it to heart.
Disagree, I don't think she would have learnt anything. If anything, he only helped reinforce her belief that men in general are douchebags, and the only reason Ghostlink stuck around and acted as a friend was to just get revenge on her. (pretty douchey move in my opinion). He should have just moved on 2 years ago. Waiting for revenge makes him as stupid as she was, and IMO he was in anyway not better than her (even though he would like to believe that he is).
|
Ex leaves me before Christmas after a year together, 2 months living abroad together, life plans for marriage and children.
One month later she refuses to give me half the money of a fine she made me took to help a friend of her and instead goes one day to london to have fun (saturday morning to sunday morning) with this guy she is dating for a month, calling him love and writing him hearts.
Oh, I'm 23, she is 23, the douchebag is 30. It's like I've got erased from one day to the other: she speaks to him the same way she spoke to me. She left all her past boyfriends and after leaving got in immediate relationships or fucked people around.
I guess next time I will take a carefull eye on the past of a person.
|
On February 19 2013 00:49 Grumbels wrote:
I would never trust to be in a relationship with a religious person. Not to make this a rant against religion, but believing in God is not exactly rational and this might mean there could be a pattern of irrationality.
Sorry, but that's just nonsense. There are countries with the majority of people believe in God, and they're not any more irrational than people in countries that are mostly atheistic. I say that as an atheist.
|
I wouldn't say religious people are irrational, I know for myself, when I was religious, it was all I ever knew, so it was more brain-washing than a lack of reason. Once I started questioning things more I started to realize it was irrational, but you don't realize it when you're brainwashed. But that being said, I now would not date a religious girl, and I made sure that my girlfriend was not religious when I started dating her.
Anyway, heres my story:
How we met:
+ Show Spoiler +When I was 17, I was working at a movie theater and a cute girl had recently started working there. I hung out with her and a friend one night and asked her out on a date... she reluctantly said yes (like a why do guys always do this to me sort of yes). When I picked her up for our date she immediately said "I want to only be friends with you and thats all this is". I shrugged it off, at least she was honest about it. I took her to dinner, we went in this scary corn maze thing and she was holding onto me the whole time (it was around halloween).
The progression:
+ Show Spoiler +After that we were only friends, but we texted each other non-stop and became very close. I had graduated high school already (I tested out) and she was still in, and it seemed like she was much less mature than me, possibly for that reason. So I compared our relationship to a father-daughter one as she had a horrible relationship with her father. I looked out for her and listened to her, helped her out. No sexual feelings at all. She started hanging out with a guy that worked with us and he was kind of an asshole. Anyway, she had sex with him. Then she told me that she was sad about the whole thing and didn't want to be with him. Then she had sex with him again, same thing. I told her that if she wants a committed relationship, having sex with a guy is not that way to go about it, and she always seemed to know that but did it anyway.
The inner slut comes out:
+ Show Spoiler +Soon after she admits that she's been in love with me for the last 6 months or so, and that being with that guy made her incredibly unhappy because she wanted to be with me the whole time. I agree to go on a date with her (even though that whole father-daughter thing makes it really weird). Hormones get brewing and stuff starts happening, stuff I had never had happen to me before. So I started to like her. About a week later, she immediately becomes distant, and doesn't like me. She didn't want to be in a relationship, she wasn't ready for one. Soon after, she had sex with some other guy in expectation of a relationship, he denied her. Then another, then another, then another, within the course of about a month. She then told me that she was hanging out with a guy that we used to work with, whom I hated (biggest asshole in the world). She thought he was gross and said nothing's going to happen. She slept with him too. Even though it took me a long time to realize that our relationship was destructive, I never talked to her again. Now, she's been dating one of my old friends for the past 4 years or so.
She missed out on an educated, successful guy, for an uneducated, minimum wage working loser (I'm 22 and he's 24). And nothing in the world feels better than knowing that.
Rather than hate girls for what they do to you, just go with the flow. It wasn't til I stopped pursuing these fantasy relationships that I wanted so badly, that I started to actually meet girls worth my time. And the girls that are worth it, don't require significant amounts of time invested with games and dates, it just works.
|
On February 19 2013 04:30 iamahydralisk wrote:
I apologize if this is insensitive, but you're lucky it ended before you got in even deeper. I've been in your shoes (dating a devoutly religious girl while being an atheist myself) and I don't know of a single situation in which people have actually made that work.
I know a couple who recently married and have a baby on the way. She is devout Christian and he is about as anti-religious as you can get lol. Yes apparently it was a big thing for him but I guess love can overcome it...
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
