Worst breakups you had/know/witnessed - Page 19

On February 18 2013 15:37 KwarK wrote:
50 shades is fucked up. You shouldn't go anywhere near that "her mouth said no but her eyes said yes" shit, that sounds interesting in the rape fantasy way but it's rape in the rape way. The way you get dirty shit with a girl in a committed relationship is you actually stop when she says no and then she knows you're not a rapist and feels comfortable with the rope and the blindfold.

On February 18 2013 15:39 babylon wrote:

I know. I feel kind of sheltered.

This is almost as depressing as reading YouTube comments. Hmmm.

At the age of 16, Tolkien met Edith Mary Bratt, who was three years older, when he and his brother Hilary moved into the boarding house in which she lived. According to Humphrey Carpenter:

Edith and Ronald took to frequenting Birmingham teashops, especially one which had a balcony overlooking the pavement. There they would sit and throw sugarlumps into the hats of passers-by, moving to the next table when the sugar bowl was empty. ... With two people of their personalities and in their position, romance was bound to flourish. Both were orphans in need of affection, and they found that they could give it to each other. During the summer of 1909, they decided that they were in love.[43]

His guardian, Father Francis Morgan, viewing Edith as a distraction from Tolkien's school work and horrified that his young charge was seriously involved with a Protestant girl, prohibited him from meeting, talking to, or even corresponding with her until he was 21. He obeyed this prohibition to the letter,[44] with one notable early exception which made Father Morgan threaten to cut short his University career if he did not stop.[45]

On the evening of his 21st birthday, Tolkien wrote to Edith a declaration of his love and asked her to marry him. Edith replied saying that she had already agreed to marry another man, but that she had done so because she had believed Tolkien had forgotten her. The two met beneath a railway viaduct and renewed their love; Edith returned her engagement ring and announced that she was marrying Tolkien instead.[46] Following their engagement Edith reluctantly announced that she was converting to Catholicism at Tolkien's insistence. Her landlord, a staunch Protestant, was infuriated and evicted her as soon as she was able to find other lodgings.[47] Edith and Ronald were formally engaged in Birmingham, in January 1913, and married at St. Mary Immaculate Roman Catholic Church, Warwick, on 22 March 1916.[48]

On February 18 2013 15:29 CapnAmerica wrote:

p.s. I want you to write a romance novel, you treacherous dog.

On February 18 2013 15:48 babylon wrote:
I kind of miss the days of earnest courtship:


It all seems so cheap these days, relationships and such, and I feel like it's no longer worth the effort. I hear that during the Cultural Revolution in China it was pretty love-crazy too. Nowadays it's just sex-crazy.

(I do feel bad for Edith's ex-fiance though.)

On February 18 2013 15:58 SamsungStar wrote:




I'm a pisces and a fiction writer, the chances of me being pragmatic in the face of romance and high sexual tension are slim to about... none . It's just a very addictive sensation.

But the day I meet a girl who can do all that and doesn't like to fuck about, play head games, or share the love is the day I get down on one knee.

About the whole committed relationship thing being able to do it too. Hmm, I don't know. I have trouble believing that. Never nag, never get jealous or clingy or controlling, never get boring or into a rut. It's not just about the wild, crazy sex. That's what surfaced from my subconscious memory as I was writing, but it's more the feeling of I dno, freedom? lack of expectations or pressures? It's so different from everything else in my life, especially as a Chinese son of an affluent family.

This type of girl has 20 other guys waiting in line so she just doesn't give much of a fuck if things go wrong. It's her breezy attitude, her lack of ANY wants or needs. She literally demands nothing except your adoration, your passion. And in return she just gives and gives, mostly because it amuses her. It entertains her to find a new catch that she can play with for a while and in the moment she loves you as intensely as any human can love. But then she moves on, and all that's left are ashes.

It's very different from anything else I've experienced. I've gone on many dates with nice girls, pretty girls, smart girls from good families. Girls who are looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now, and it just does NOTHING for me. It feels totally empty. I have a nice time with them. I'm charming. I'm witty. I keep the conversation flowing and engage and flirt plenty. I get plenty of 2nd and 3rd dates and invitations upstairs. But god, it just feels SO sleepy compared to the aforementioned girls. The "good girls," the respectable ones, it's like you can see the way their minds are working, how they're sizing you up in terms of how respectable a catch you are. Their questions are dull and standard or pleasant at best. There are no surprises. Just hoops to jump through. And I jump them, because that's what I know I'm expected to do. But after I put on the song and dance they want, and they're eager to take it to the next level, I'm just left feeling empty and lifeless and very very bored.

I don't like being unhappy and unfulfilled. It just seems to be the cycle I'm trapped in right now. Moments of high intensity, followed by a wasteland of substitutes, then another moment of intensity, etc. I've run into 3 girls like the one I described, and all of them were elusive and unforgettable in their own way, yet in many ways very similar to each other. I've also seen all of them go on to break a rather impressive string of hearts. And even after doing all that, I don't think there's a single man they've left who doesn't still love them within an inch of their life. One of them is 26 now. Another one is 27. Another one is 29. None of them are married or even remotely close to it. Yet they ALWAYS have a man. And he's always either very handsome or very successful and handsome.

On February 18 2013 16:02 SamsungStar wrote:


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/9850549/The-difficulties-of-21st-century-dating.html#disqus_thread

This is a pretty good summary of how many women see dating nowadays.

On February 18 2013 16:26 babylon wrote:

Yeah, the ease of connection and the advent of the Internet + cell phones + social media makes contact ever-so-cheap now. Or I guess it's better for people who fear rejection, but man.

Not to mention how sexualized everything is these days, it's hard to know if people just want to shack up with you for easy sex or because they're lonely or because they want to have something with you beyond a fuck. It is somewhat problematic for me, because the last time I felt any sort of attraction to anyone (sexual or romantic or otherwise, like just a stupid crush) was years and years and years ago.

On February 18 2013 16:23 sths wrote:
you know Samsung and Shady you guys should just turn gay and marry each other. You obviously are on the same wavelength. You both have impressive abilities with words. Both are 2nd gen Chinese in the states. Both hint at battle scars dueling with the booby monsters.

Its quite a shame that you guys share the same gender, kind of like starcrossed lovers.

On February 18 2013 16:36 Shiragaku wrote:

I am in a similar situation right now. I am dating a guy who was so fed up with women that he eventually gave up on dating women altogether and going out with me. How the relationship works is that he could seek whatever sexual pleasure he wished from women while devoting himself emotionally to me.

Of course we have our disagreements which made things all the more interesting. We both advocate sexual liberation but he is quite the sexist while I hold the opposing view.
Opposites sure attract <3

On February 18 2013 16:30 SamsungStar wrote:


Yeah, the cheapness of contact is what really annoys me. Nobody values anyone else's company anymore. You might be more interesting than 5 other guys, but you're not more interesting than all five of them combined!

Like your story about Tolkien. That mfer waited how long? 5 years? Never let the flame go. Waited that entire time and shot off a letter as soon as he could. Nowadays, could you imagine someone in our generation doing that? Holding off on a text for 5 days would be a struggle. The lack of discipline and dedication is just saddening.

On February 18 2013 16:41 SamsungStar wrote:


LOL no thanks! Shady seems like a swell guy, but I'm very into chicks, emotional torture included. I sort of like the agony. Shiragaku, your relationship sounds pretty nutty. Care to share more?

On February 18 2013 13:22 SolidMotion wrote:
Enter my fucked up story:

So my first experience ever falling for a girl was when I was 16... I wasn't nerdy but I had some of the best grades in my year, wasn't awful at sports either, just didn't excel at them, look wise I'd say slightly above average but nothing special. So i meet this girl at the beginning of the year who's new to town and I just have "the love on first sight" kinda thing, and I had never experienced that before. She wasn't insanely beautiful or anything either but everytime she smilled it just sparked something in me that I couldn't explain and I just wanted to be with her. Fate, being as funny as it is, also decided that she was going to be in almost all my classes. In hindsight, I probably was the first guy that talked to her at the school. Anyway... moving on.

So the first few months of the school year pass everything is going great, we're really good friends at that point as well... Fate strikes again but this time in a terrible way: both of her parents die in a freak car accident during christmas break. School starts again and then she just turns into somewhat of a ball of hate from that point on, losing all her friends and people start looking at her as a weirdo. She deals a lot of painful emotional shit to me as well at this point but I just can't seem to bring myself to let her down and I keep trying and talking to her to see if I can help, like a good friend would right ?

So not too long after that I somehow manage to get to her and she realizes she's lost almost all her friends and that even after all of this I'm still the only one around... I don't want to stay around here too much but suffice to say we get together not long after this, being really grateful for all I've done and all of that... From that point on until the last two months of school, I'm basically in paradise, all is going well, my life is great... and best of all I finally someone with whom I feel like I can share anything... appearances then also indicate that seems to be mutual. Then shit starts hitting the fan...

So during that time we were dating she was doing well again and started getting more social, especially with the people that were considered to be the "populars". Now, the popular people from the year I was in were kind of fucked up, and I had heard stories about the weird "games" and notion of fun they had but had never really payed attention to it, and in hindsight since my gf starting hanging out with them, I really should have... Man, I really wish I had...

During that time she started changing as well, she was slowly becoming like them and the stuff she sometime would say scared me, we got into a few fights over that as well... So we hit a point where she decides we have to take a break while she thinks things out, I get really bummed out but being really in love I decide to stay calm and let her do it, the fights and that all happened within a week, that should have been my first warning sign...

During the next 2 weeks we don't talk much, and then she calls me out to meet her at a local restaurant during the week-end. That restaurant is in front of my school, right next to the school there was wood, the wood basically served as a barrier between my school and the college right next to it. Suffice to say it was big enough that people could go into it and not be seen from the outside. So we eat, she seems to be normal, or at least her last two months normal and we talk over, when we're done eating we decide to go for a walk in said wood, which we usually did. So we do that... Going on that walk was one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and in hindsight, I don't know if there was anything I could have done about it.

So when we enter the wood we keep walking and then she stops making sense at starts screaming at me, I don't really remember much of what it was about but an arguement started and that led to one of the worst moment of my existence... Out of nowhere someone hit me in the back of the head with something really heavy, don't even know what it was, all i know is that it was painful and I felt I was bleeding. I think I lost consciousness there for a bit. When I came back to a few moments later, don't know how long it was, I was seeing her laughing with all of her friends... they were these "popular kids", guys and girl alike were there, all just laughing and yelling shit at me. My ex then just starts kissing the guy that was holding a baseball bat, which is basically the guy who hit me... Turns out they'd been together for a while now and no one seemed to have told me... I felt like a fucking fool... I won't go much into what happened next because I don't think I can write it down without breaking down... I'll just end it at "I was lucky enough to fall unconscious pretty fast".

I woke up two weeks later in the hospital and was told I had suffered two skull fracture, all my ribs were broken and yadi yada that they pretty much didn't know how the fuck I made it out alive... Nice wake up call huh ?

I managed to get back to school on the 2nd week of the last month... My life was hell for the next two weeks... Everyone knew what happened, they even got away with it. No one would talk to me, they made sure of it. Her bf and his gang would wait for me at the end and beat me up for the fun of it, I was still healing at that point too, which made it extremely painful...

Last week of school comes and I'm basically about go mentally breakdown... Last gym class of the year comes... I happen to walk behind him while he's bending over in his locker... I had a baseball bat in my hands at that point and I just couldn't take it anymore... I flipped out and I started hitting him... He was down and not moving after two hits but I was just so scared he was going to get up and start beating the shit out of me... So I just kept swinging and swinging... Some people finally tried stopping me... apparently it took 3... I don't have much memory from there, probably my brain shutting it down in hindsight...

I got a case out of it, but the judge knew of what happened so thats all I got, I was allowed to take the end of year exams that were the week after but I was basically banned from that school and had to move out after that...

The only satisfaction I hold from all of this is that this guy is now stuck in a wheelchair for the rest of his life... Call me a monster but that's one of the only things that looking back makes me really happy...


I really feel like shit now, I don't even want to write the second story... it's just so much worst... I don't know what happened to her after that and the least I know the better... As I heard after that they had been dating for the last 2 months before that happened, making fun of me within their circle... I just hope I don't see her again because the actions I commit if I do might not end up being pleasant for her... The second accident pretty much fucked my life up so bad that I don't think shit can be worst than they are now anyway...

I'm done...

On February 18 2013 16:52 Shiragaku wrote:

Haha, it is indeed really obscure and this is more of a philosophical test more than anything but it seems to be working rather well and I feel pretty content.

About the guy, he is a hockey player, very masculine, and is very charismatic. Me on the other hand, I am more effeminate and nerdy.
What got this idea of the two of us dating was when we were talking about the paradox of love and Cartesian dualism (separation of body and mind) even though it is a bit outdated. We both wondered how stupid it is that two sexes, both completely different, have little in common, and constantly say horrible things about one another are attracted to each other and still want emotional support.
And thinking back to an excuse guys sometimes make to justify their habit of sleeping around by saying "There is emotional love and physical love" I decided to use that statement as a way to see if a same-sex relationship would work by separating sex and love together.
I personally like to think of this as a "fuck you" to evolution to some extent.

I would write more, but I am really tired right now and I do not want to name drop.

I do think same sex emotional devotion and heterosexual physical activity seems to be the way to go with relationships, but I would have to agree with Sartre that it would not work because love is largely about power. And another thing as well, most homosexual relationships I have witness and experienced are just as fucked up and frustrating as heterosexual ones...

[Gore] Vidal had affairs with both men and women. The novelist Anaïs Nin claimed an involvement with Vidal in her memoir The Diary of Anaïs Nin but Vidal denied it in his memoir Palimpsest. Vidal also discussed having dalliances with people such as actress Diana Lynn, and alluded to the possibility that he may have a daughter.[84] He was briefly engaged to Joanne Woodward, before she married Paul Newman; after eloping, the couple shared a house with Vidal in Los Angeles for a short time. In 1950, he met his long-term partner Howard Austen.[85] Vidal once reported that the secret to his lengthy relationship with Austen was that they did not have sex with each other: "It's easy to sustain a relationship when sex plays no part & impossible, I have observed, when it does."[86]