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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 23 2018 07:46 L_Master wrote:
Do you use that as your main pic?
Either way, especially if that's a known joke, I can see a picture like that adding something to an otherwise decent profile. Of course, I'm not surprised to see you're a pretty damn attractive guy as well.
I'd be pretty shocked if you aren't getting a reasonable number of matches.
These are my other pictures.
On July 23 2018 06:39 Excludos wrote:
The feedback from bloodwhore which can be somewhat relevant to others.
https://imgur.com/a/3sPx4fC
I'll give feedback to myself so you see how I think when looking at my and other profiles.
Most of my photos have good enough resolution on the phone, so that isn't really an issue for me. But if they start to get any sort of blur on the phone you should get a new photo.
1. Pretty decent. Smiling, dressed pretty casually, somewhat casual pose. Could probably get a better pose if I was standing, but then I would need to have my phone higher up not to get some weird as angle (since I took a screenshot from a video). Could have a smile where I am laughing more which probably looks better, but I can't smile for shit on command so that is harder. I had a picture like that before, but nowadays it's way to low res.
2. 9/10 to me right now. Could have pointed my toes more. Could have taken a picture closer to my body for more detail, or maybe an even cooler background.
3. Should probably take a new climbing picture where I'm in a "cooler" pose. My previous picture I had was at the campus board, but my female friend didn't think it look liked I was actually climbing, so I took this screenshot of a video just to show that I actually climb. Grabbing a real DSLR camera to grab a photo which catches all definition in forearms/back etc.
I'm also debating if shirtless is good or bad here. Looks a bit douchey maybe, but we'll get to that in the bio later 
4. I'd say this is a pretty decent picture, but if I'm going to be critical. What the fuck am I looking at? Look at the guitar might be a better option. My hand is also a bit blurry since it was a screenshot from a video. Furthermore, am I even good enough to take a picture with a guitar. I can't even play wonderwall. (I do practice though)
5. Just some picture from a recent trip from Cyprus. Would be a better picture if the guy wasn't right behind me, (you don't really notice it unless you really look at the picture on a phone though). Is it even good to have this cheeky tongue pose?
Bio:
Stockholm / archipelago
Creative, like to build things, build good looking websites for work, likes to sport. The only reason I climb without a shirt is because it weighs too much.
Not interested in one night stands.
Bio is the hardest part. The good bios I've read are basically just random text about nothing important. But I can't be arsed to create a better one right now.
I have also attached my instagram.
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After being together for four years, my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago  She wanted kids, but I didn't. She said she couldn't stay in a relationship where she didn't see a future with me, so she ended it. Whenever I asked about moving and finding a place to live together, she was always hesitant about it, but only a little bit before we broke up did she tell me she wouldn't move in or marry someone who was deadset against having kids.
I'm so broken right now. This was the person I shared the past 4 years of my life with. We talked on Facebook almost every day for hours and shared our lives with each other. We were each other's first everything. Never lived together, but I feel like my life is empty without her in it now. Every day when 7 to 8 at night rolls around, I just get so depressed I can't tell her how my day was today, or share with her some funny pictures I saw, or ask her about her day like I always do.
I messaged her earlier today asking if there was any chance she might reconsider our break up, but it ended up leading to a fight and we left on bad terms, with her removing me as a friend on Facebook. I feel like, a week from now, I'm still going to be hoping I see a message from her saying she's reconsidered and wants to get back together, but I don't feel like that's realistic anymore . I've never been so depressed before. I have all of her pictures she's sent me and she's smiling in each one, and it pains me to think of all the good times we had... and now she probably never wants to speak to me again. Just looking at them makes my throat heavy, and I can't bring myself to delete them. Just writing this is making me relive all the memories we made together and I'm getting tears in my eyes.
I wish there was something I could do. I wonder if I'll ever find someone again who I loved as much as my girlfriend. It's hard to think I'll ever meet someone else who I can feel as comfortable talking to and sharing my life with as I did her.
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On July 25 2018 11:43 Epishade wrote:After being together for four years, my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago She wanted kids, but I didn't. She said she couldn't stay in a relationship where she didn't see a future with me, so she ended it. Whenever I asked about moving and finding a place to live together, she was always hesitant about it, but only a little bit before we broke up did she tell me she wouldn't move in or marry someone who was deadset against having kids. I'm so broken right now. This was the person I shared the past 4 years of my life with. We talked on Facebook almost every day for hours and shared our lives with each other. We were each other's first everything. Never lived together, but I feel like my life is empty without her in it now. Every day when 7 to 8 at night rolls around, I just get so depressed I can't tell her how my day was today, or share with her some funny pictures I saw, or ask her about her day like I always do. I messaged her earlier today asking if there was any chance she might reconsider our break up, but it ended up leading to a fight and we left on bad terms, with her removing me as a friend on Facebook. I feel like, a week from now, I'm still going to be hoping I see a message from her saying she's reconsidered and wants to get back together, but I don't feel like that's realistic anymore . I've never been so depressed before. I have all of her pictures she's sent me and she's smiling in each one, and it pains me to think of all the good times we had... and now she probably never wants to speak to me again. Just looking at them makes my throat heavy, and I can't bring myself to delete them. Just writing this is making me relive all the memories we made together and I'm getting tears in my eyes. I wish there was something I could do. I wonder if I'll ever find someone again who I loved as much as my girlfriend. It's hard to think I'll ever meet someone else who I can feel as comfortable talking to and sharing my life with as I did her.
Sorry to hear, you have all my sympathies. Keep strong, I would strongly advise to not try to contact her until you cool off a bit.
Did she ever bring up the kids thing before? What's your and her age? Why are you so dead set on not having kids? That's in case you want to share more.
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On July 25 2018 11:53 GoTuNk! wrote:Show nested quote +On July 25 2018 11:43 Epishade wrote:After being together for four years, my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago She wanted kids, but I didn't. She said she couldn't stay in a relationship where she didn't see a future with me, so she ended it. Whenever I asked about moving and finding a place to live together, she was always hesitant about it, but only a little bit before we broke up did she tell me she wouldn't move in or marry someone who was deadset against having kids. I'm so broken right now. This was the person I shared the past 4 years of my life with. We talked on Facebook almost every day for hours and shared our lives with each other. We were each other's first everything. Never lived together, but I feel like my life is empty without her in it now. Every day when 7 to 8 at night rolls around, I just get so depressed I can't tell her how my day was today, or share with her some funny pictures I saw, or ask her about her day like I always do. I messaged her earlier today asking if there was any chance she might reconsider our break up, but it ended up leading to a fight and we left on bad terms, with her removing me as a friend on Facebook. I feel like, a week from now, I'm still going to be hoping I see a message from her saying she's reconsidered and wants to get back together, but I don't feel like that's realistic anymore . I've never been so depressed before. I have all of her pictures she's sent me and she's smiling in each one, and it pains me to think of all the good times we had... and now she probably never wants to speak to me again. Just looking at them makes my throat heavy, and I can't bring myself to delete them. Just writing this is making me relive all the memories we made together and I'm getting tears in my eyes. I wish there was something I could do. I wonder if I'll ever find someone again who I loved as much as my girlfriend. It's hard to think I'll ever meet someone else who I can feel as comfortable talking to and sharing my life with as I did her. Sorry to hear, you have all my sympathies. Keep strong, I would strongly advise to not try to contact her until you cool off a bit. Did she ever bring up the kids thing before? What's your and her age? Why are you so dead set on not having kids? That's in case you want to share more.
Thanks GoTunk.
We're both 23. She's brought up having kids before, and I've brought up not having kids before. It was the one thing we were pretty incompatible on, but I think after 4 years together we both thought that in that time we might be able to change the other's mind, which is why we stayed together for so long (and because we loved each other). I've thought about it and decided in the foreseeable future I just didn't want the responsibility of raising children. I'm not old enough to want kids at this point and I couldn't tell you what my feelings on having kids might be in the future. When I messaged her earlier today about reconsidering, she asked me if I would ever possibly want kids in the future. I told her probably not, but my feelings might change in 5 years, which she got upset at and thought I was stringing her along with vague "possibly" promises
I don't plan on contacting her again, especially after our fight today. It's just so sad to think that a huge part of my life is over now. I guess if she ever really wanted to talk to me again, she could text me, but I don't see that happening.
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My condolences man. That sounds super rough. It’s ultimately an issue of commitment and if you’re not ready then you’re not ready. Your two options were either WILLINGLY taking on the extra responsibility for her sake, or if that was impossible for you, to end it. Stringing along hoping that things will get better wastes both your time, and it sounds like long-term she made the right decision for the both of you.
TBH I would avoid thinking about women if at all possible for a while. ESPECIALLY avoid looking at pictures/texts of her, if you need to save them then put them in a folder in the deepest darkest part of your computer and never look back.
You’ve lost a key part of what has defined you over the past 4 years, and you need to start undergoing the process of redefining what it means to be you. Throw yourself at your interests and hobbies with abandon, and maybe branch out into doing something you personally have always wanted to do. Stay active on your interests. When you feel overwhelming sadness, try centering your mind by being aware of your feelings (e.g. “wow I’m depressed right now”, “wow this sucks”, etc.), accepting that what’s happened is for the best and that you’re not a bad person (e.g. “this was the only option”, “there was no way for a better outcome to occur”, “this needed to happen”, etc.), and direct your thoughts to your interests and hobbies again.
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On July 25 2018 12:11 Epishade wrote:Show nested quote +On July 25 2018 11:53 GoTuNk! wrote:On July 25 2018 11:43 Epishade wrote:After being together for four years, my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago She wanted kids, but I didn't. She said she couldn't stay in a relationship where she didn't see a future with me, so she ended it. Whenever I asked about moving and finding a place to live together, she was always hesitant about it, but only a little bit before we broke up did she tell me she wouldn't move in or marry someone who was deadset against having kids. I'm so broken right now. This was the person I shared the past 4 years of my life with. We talked on Facebook almost every day for hours and shared our lives with each other. We were each other's first everything. Never lived together, but I feel like my life is empty without her in it now. Every day when 7 to 8 at night rolls around, I just get so depressed I can't tell her how my day was today, or share with her some funny pictures I saw, or ask her about her day like I always do. I messaged her earlier today asking if there was any chance she might reconsider our break up, but it ended up leading to a fight and we left on bad terms, with her removing me as a friend on Facebook. I feel like, a week from now, I'm still going to be hoping I see a message from her saying she's reconsidered and wants to get back together, but I don't feel like that's realistic anymore . I've never been so depressed before. I have all of her pictures she's sent me and she's smiling in each one, and it pains me to think of all the good times we had... and now she probably never wants to speak to me again. Just looking at them makes my throat heavy, and I can't bring myself to delete them. Just writing this is making me relive all the memories we made together and I'm getting tears in my eyes. I wish there was something I could do. I wonder if I'll ever find someone again who I loved as much as my girlfriend. It's hard to think I'll ever meet someone else who I can feel as comfortable talking to and sharing my life with as I did her. Sorry to hear, you have all my sympathies. Keep strong, I would strongly advise to not try to contact her until you cool off a bit. Did she ever bring up the kids thing before? What's your and her age? Why are you so dead set on not having kids? That's in case you want to share more. Thanks GoTunk. We're both 23. She's brought up having kids before, and I've brought up not having kids before. It was the one thing we were pretty incompatible on, but I think after 4 years together we both thought that in that time we might be able to change the other's mind, which is why we stayed together for so long (and because we loved each other). I've thought about it and decided in the foreseeable future I just didn't want the responsibility of raising children. I'm not old enough to want kids at this point and I couldn't tell you what my feelings on having kids might be in the future. When I messaged her earlier today about reconsidering, she asked me if I would ever possibly want kids in the future. I told her probably not, but my feelings might change in 5 years, which she got upset at and thought I was stringing her along with vague "possibly" promises I don't plan on contacting her again, especially after our fight today. It's just so sad to think that a huge part of my life is over now. I guess if she ever really wanted to talk to me again, she could text me, but I don't see that happening.
You are only 23? I presume you got to know each other in college and graduated like a year ago? You've been out working for only like a year?
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On July 25 2018 12:11 Epishade wrote:Show nested quote +On July 25 2018 11:53 GoTuNk! wrote:On July 25 2018 11:43 Epishade wrote:After being together for four years, my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago She wanted kids, but I didn't. She said she couldn't stay in a relationship where she didn't see a future with me, so she ended it. Whenever I asked about moving and finding a place to live together, she was always hesitant about it, but only a little bit before we broke up did she tell me she wouldn't move in or marry someone who was deadset against having kids. I'm so broken right now. This was the person I shared the past 4 years of my life with. We talked on Facebook almost every day for hours and shared our lives with each other. We were each other's first everything. Never lived together, but I feel like my life is empty without her in it now. Every day when 7 to 8 at night rolls around, I just get so depressed I can't tell her how my day was today, or share with her some funny pictures I saw, or ask her about her day like I always do. I messaged her earlier today asking if there was any chance she might reconsider our break up, but it ended up leading to a fight and we left on bad terms, with her removing me as a friend on Facebook. I feel like, a week from now, I'm still going to be hoping I see a message from her saying she's reconsidered and wants to get back together, but I don't feel like that's realistic anymore . I've never been so depressed before. I have all of her pictures she's sent me and she's smiling in each one, and it pains me to think of all the good times we had... and now she probably never wants to speak to me again. Just looking at them makes my throat heavy, and I can't bring myself to delete them. Just writing this is making me relive all the memories we made together and I'm getting tears in my eyes. I wish there was something I could do. I wonder if I'll ever find someone again who I loved as much as my girlfriend. It's hard to think I'll ever meet someone else who I can feel as comfortable talking to and sharing my life with as I did her. Sorry to hear, you have all my sympathies. Keep strong, I would strongly advise to not try to contact her until you cool off a bit. Did she ever bring up the kids thing before? What's your and her age? Why are you so dead set on not having kids? That's in case you want to share more. Thanks GoTunk. We're both 23. She's brought up having kids before, and I've brought up not having kids before. It was the one thing we were pretty incompatible on, but I think after 4 years together we both thought that in that time we might be able to change the other's mind, which is why we stayed together for so long (and because we loved each other). I've thought about it and decided in the foreseeable future I just didn't want the responsibility of raising children. I'm not old enough to want kids at this point and I couldn't tell you what my feelings on having kids might be in the future. When I messaged her earlier today about reconsidering, she asked me if I would ever possibly want kids in the future. I told her probably not, but my feelings might change in 5 years, which she got upset at and thought I was stringing her along with vague "possibly" promises I don't plan on contacting her again, especially after our fight today. It's just so sad to think that a huge part of my life is over now. I guess if she ever really wanted to talk to me again, she could text me, but I don't see that happening.
I understand it's a tough situation I'm 27 and I'm def not ready to have kids even though I 100% wanna have them at some point. Seems weird to me you guys could not come to some sort of understanding on this, it's not like your gf is getting old and has to have them now. That said, it's an extremely important part of a relationship, not only on the having kids but as a reflection on the kind values and expectations you both have.
Give it a few days and stay strong I guess.
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On July 25 2018 11:43 Epishade wrote:After being together for four years, my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago She wanted kids, but I didn't. She said she couldn't stay in a relationship where she didn't see a future with me, so she ended it. Whenever I asked about moving and finding a place to live together, she was always hesitant about it, but only a little bit before we broke up did she tell me she wouldn't move in or marry someone who was deadset against having kids. I'm so broken right now. This was the person I shared the past 4 years of my life with. We talked on Facebook almost every day for hours and shared our lives with each other. We were each other's first everything. Never lived together, but I feel like my life is empty without her in it now. Every day when 7 to 8 at night rolls around, I just get so depressed I can't tell her how my day was today, or share with her some funny pictures I saw, or ask her about her day like I always do. I messaged her earlier today asking if there was any chance she might reconsider our break up, but it ended up leading to a fight and we left on bad terms, with her removing me as a friend on Facebook. I feel like, a week from now, I'm still going to be hoping I see a message from her saying she's reconsidered and wants to get back together, but I don't feel like that's realistic anymore . I've never been so depressed before. I have all of her pictures she's sent me and she's smiling in each one, and it pains me to think of all the good times we had... and now she probably never wants to speak to me again. Just looking at them makes my throat heavy, and I can't bring myself to delete them. Just writing this is making me relive all the memories we made together and I'm getting tears in my eyes. I wish there was something I could do. I wonder if I'll ever find someone again who I loved as much as my girlfriend. It's hard to think I'll ever meet someone else who I can feel as comfortable talking to and sharing my life with as I did her.
That's my biggest fear... the gf just moved across the country to move in with me, and i'm been leaning more so on the I don't know when/if I will want children. We've talked about it and she has told me that she needs a family to be happy, and I've countered with I won't have kid's unless I know I want them. We will see how things shape up in 9 months when we need to renew the lease but atm i'm not very optimistic unless my views on kids change.
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On July 25 2018 03:44 bloodwhore~ wrote:also debating if shirtless is good or bad here. Looks a bit douchey maybe, but we'll get to that in the bio later
I just started using Tinder again and I've seen at least 3 different people straight up say in their bio that they left swipe all shirtless gym selfies. Technically yours isn't a gym selfie but they might still think you're a tool.
I swiped through to see who was on Tinder right now, and then went through deleting and remaking my account, doing that 24 hour test (create it, swipe a few people, then leave it alone for 24 hours) to see how my profile is since I remade it and redid my bio. I'm barely at the half way point and it already shows 10+ swipes, so I must have done something right with it. I'm not that good looking hahaha. It is a nice little confidence boost though.
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Never made à account on Tinder but is IT a dating app or for some Casual fun ? Im guessing IT can be both but what is the différence on why people would prefer Tinder instead any other dating stuff ?
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On July 25 2018 13:03 MysteryMeat1 wrote:Show nested quote +On July 25 2018 11:43 Epishade wrote:After being together for four years, my girlfriend broke up with me a week ago She wanted kids, but I didn't. She said she couldn't stay in a relationship where she didn't see a future with me, so she ended it. Whenever I asked about moving and finding a place to live together, she was always hesitant about it, but only a little bit before we broke up did she tell me she wouldn't move in or marry someone who was deadset against having kids. I'm so broken right now. This was the person I shared the past 4 years of my life with. We talked on Facebook almost every day for hours and shared our lives with each other. We were each other's first everything. Never lived together, but I feel like my life is empty without her in it now. Every day when 7 to 8 at night rolls around, I just get so depressed I can't tell her how my day was today, or share with her some funny pictures I saw, or ask her about her day like I always do. I messaged her earlier today asking if there was any chance she might reconsider our break up, but it ended up leading to a fight and we left on bad terms, with her removing me as a friend on Facebook. I feel like, a week from now, I'm still going to be hoping I see a message from her saying she's reconsidered and wants to get back together, but I don't feel like that's realistic anymore . I've never been so depressed before. I have all of her pictures she's sent me and she's smiling in each one, and it pains me to think of all the good times we had... and now she probably never wants to speak to me again. Just looking at them makes my throat heavy, and I can't bring myself to delete them. Just writing this is making me relive all the memories we made together and I'm getting tears in my eyes. I wish there was something I could do. I wonder if I'll ever find someone again who I loved as much as my girlfriend. It's hard to think I'll ever meet someone else who I can feel as comfortable talking to and sharing my life with as I did her. That's my biggest fear... the gf just moved across the country to move in with me, and i'm been leaning more so on the I don't know when/if I will want children. We've talked about it and she has told me that she needs a family to be happy, and I've countered with I won't have kid's unless I know I want them. We will see how things shape up in 9 months when we need to renew the lease but atm i'm not very optimistic unless my views on kids change.
Why do you not want kids?
You two look like quite the ideal pairing on Facebook, though how you can tolerate that much Coldplay fandom is beyond me 
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I wish there was something I could do. I wonder if I'll ever find someone again who I loved as much as my girlfriend. It's hard to think I'll ever meet someone else who I can feel as comfortable talking to and sharing my life with as I did her.
Damn, that sucks. You don't even think you will want a kid when you're like 35-40? I'm 25 right now and I highly doubt I will want a kid before I'm 35, possibly even 40. I guess she wouldn't accept that kind of "low security" anyway though. You're still very young. Keep your mind of her and focus on other things for the next weeks! You will definitely find someone amazing later on!
On July 25 2018 14:03 Ben... wrote:
I just started using Tinder again and I've seen at least 3 different people straight up say in their bio that they left swipe all shirtless gym selfies. Technically yours isn't a gym selfie but they might still think you're a tool.
I swiped through to see who was on Tinder right now, and then went through deleting and remaking my account, doing that 24 hour test (create it, swipe a few people, then leave it alone for 24 hours) to see how my profile is since I remade it and redid my bio. I'm barely at the half way point and it already shows 10+ swipes, so I must have done something right with it. I'm not that good looking hahaha. It is a nice little confidence boost though.
Yeah I've seen that as well. Generally when people say they like or don't like something I usually take it with a pinch of salt. I feel like what people say they want, especially regarding dating, is rarely what they actually go for. I have no doubt in my mind that they believe what they say they like is actually what they like. Instead I look at how they act.
But two shirtless pictures could definitely be too much, haha!
As for the deleting and remaking. I don't think you should do it too often. I get surges like every 4-5 days or so.
Never made à account on Tinder but is IT a dating app or for some Casual fun ?
It is what you make it. I think the best usage for it is to go in with an open mind. Relationship, one night stands, fuck buddys, anything goes. At least you won't be that dissappointed.
Im guessing IT can be both but what is the différence on why people would prefer Tinder instead any other dating stuff ?
For women: It's easy as fuck to get dates with really attractive guys. You don't have to lift a finger except make sure you don't meet a psychopath.
For men: It's less taxing than cold approaching, which is probably what most people have to do if they want to go on a lot of dates.
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On July 25 2018 18:55 TheBrochette wrote:
Never made à account on Tinder but is IT a dating app or for some Casual fun ? Im guessing IT can be both but what is the différence on why people would prefer Tinder instead any other dating stuff ?
It's free, but still retains some useful features which are normally locked on other dating sites; like private messaging. It's also all very bare bones and easy to use. It also, for some unknown reason, tend to be more socially acceptable than actually using a dating site. Practically everyone has at some point had a Tinder account
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How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit?
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On July 26 2018 02:48 MarcoJ wrote:
How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit?
Beginner's luck or something like that for the first 12-48 hours (or maybe less). This is when your ELO is probably calculated. Sort of like placement matches in StarCraft 2. At that period, you're likely to get more matches at once than usual, but you shouldn't swipe left/right I think.
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On July 26 2018 03:00 sc-darkness wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2018 02:48 MarcoJ wrote:
How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit? Beginner's luck or something like that for the first 12-48 hours (or maybe less). This is when your ELO is probably calculated. Sort of like placement matches in StarCraft 2. At that period, you're likely to get more matches at once than usual, but you shouldn't swipe left/right I think.
How are you going to get matches if you don't swipe? Do you just do nothing for the first 48 except wait, and then start swiping to see who you match with?
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On July 26 2018 03:06 Excludos wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2018 03:00 sc-darkness wrote:On July 26 2018 02:48 MarcoJ wrote:
How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit? Beginner's luck or something like that for the first 12-48 hours (or maybe less). This is when your ELO is probably calculated. Sort of like placement matches in StarCraft 2. At that period, you're likely to get more matches at once than usual, but you shouldn't swipe left/right I think. How are you going to get matches if you don't swipe? Do you just do nothing for the first 48 except wait, and then start swiping to see who you match with?
Exactly. You don't swipe left/right for at least 12 hours unless you feel impatient and you already have likes. How do you know? You use the mobile application because the desktop one is shitty lately. It shows you when you have likes but their photos are blurred. I think if you wait long enough, it should tell you if it's 1+, 3+ but I don't know if that's still correct because I didn't wait long lately and Tinder has been updated quite a lot recently.
Edit: Maybe I should have said "likes" instead of matches just to be strict about this. Also, maybe Saturday/Sunday is the best period for this because people have more free time to use Tinder, but figure it out yourself just to be sure.
Edit 2: Actually, I can see likes from the desktop application (website), so they've fixed it probably.
If you're super pretty, you probably don't have to resort to the above "tactics" but they should increase chances anyway.
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On July 26 2018 02:48 MarcoJ wrote:
How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit?
Resets matches and moves you to top of que. You get far more matches though first 24 hours or so than you do later. It might also helped to reset your ELO.
On July 26 2018 03:06 Excludos wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2018 03:00 sc-darkness wrote:On July 26 2018 02:48 MarcoJ wrote:
How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit? Beginner's luck or something like that for the first 12-48 hours (or maybe less). This is when your ELO is probably calculated. Sort of like placement matches in StarCraft 2. At that period, you're likely to get more matches at once than usual, but you shouldn't swipe left/right I think. How are you going to get matches if you don't swipe? Do you just do nothing for the first 48 except wait, and then start swiping to see who you match with?
No reason not to swipe. Just don't blindly right swipe all as that tanks your ELO and gets you shown to less people.
On July 25 2018 18:55 TheBrochette wrote:
Never made à account on Tinder but is IT a dating app or for some Casual fun ? Im guessing IT can be both but what is the différence on why people would prefer Tinder instead any other dating stuff ?
You can basically make it whatever you want. A small portion of girls clearly want something serious and long term. The majority seem to be in a "see what happens" category. The right guy and they'll totally go for ONS, but I don't think they are looking for that. If you have a hookup mindset and way of trying to meet girls you'll get mostly ONS, if you have a mindset to date and look for some sort of LTR you'll find much more of that.
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On July 26 2018 03:47 L_Master wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2018 02:48 MarcoJ wrote:
How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit? Resets matches and moves you to top of que. You get far more matches though first 24 hours or so than you do later. It might also helped to reset your ELO. Show nested quote +On July 26 2018 03:06 Excludos wrote:On July 26 2018 03:00 sc-darkness wrote:On July 26 2018 02:48 MarcoJ wrote:
How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit? Beginner's luck or something like that for the first 12-48 hours (or maybe less). This is when your ELO is probably calculated. Sort of like placement matches in StarCraft 2. At that period, you're likely to get more matches at once than usual, but you shouldn't swipe left/right I think. How are you going to get matches if you don't swipe? Do you just do nothing for the first 48 except wait, and then start swiping to see who you match with? No reason not to swipe. Just don't blindly right swipe all as that tanks your ELO and gets you shown to less people.
I don't see how the swipe thing is harmless to your rating. Check this:
A combination of % of people who like you as a whole…
…% of the people you like who like you back (“are you playing within your league?”)…
…and those people’s own rating. A person with a higher rating than your own liking you carries more weight than one with a lower rating liking you (like getting more points for defeating a higher ranking team in a ranked tournament).
Link: https://www.swipehelper.com/2016/11/16/tinder-algorithm/
So if you like people, they have to like you back for your ELO to stay nice. If you like more people than you get liked back, then you're lowering your ELO, no? So that's why I think doing nothing for 12 hours is better, and it's some nice break from Tinder as well to re-evaluate your game. It's up to you.
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On July 26 2018 03:51 sc-darkness wrote:Show nested quote +On July 26 2018 03:47 L_Master wrote:On July 26 2018 02:48 MarcoJ wrote:
How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit? Resets matches and moves you to top of que. You get far more matches though first 24 hours or so than you do later. It might also helped to reset your ELO. On July 26 2018 03:06 Excludos wrote:On July 26 2018 03:00 sc-darkness wrote:On July 26 2018 02:48 MarcoJ wrote:
How is that deleting and remaking your account thing working?
I mean, whats the benefit? Beginner's luck or something like that for the first 12-48 hours (or maybe less). This is when your ELO is probably calculated. Sort of like placement matches in StarCraft 2. At that period, you're likely to get more matches at once than usual, but you shouldn't swipe left/right I think. How are you going to get matches if you don't swipe? Do you just do nothing for the first 48 except wait, and then start swiping to see who you match with? No reason not to swipe. Just don't blindly right swipe all as that tanks your ELO and gets you shown to less people. I don't see how the swipe thing is harmless to your rating. Check this: Show nested quote +
A combination of % of people who like you as a whole…
…% of the people you like who like you back (“are you playing within your league?”)…
…and those people’s own rating. A person with a higher rating than your own liking you carries more weight than one with a lower rating liking you (like getting more points for defeating a higher ranking team in a ranked tournament).
Link: https://www.swipehelper.com/2016/11/16/tinder-algorithm/So if you like people, they have to like you back for your ELO to stay nice. If you like more people than you get liked back, then you're lowering your ELO, no? So that's why I think if you do nothing for 12 hours is better, and it's some nice break from Tinder as well to re-evaluate your game. It's up to you.
Yea that is true but the idea is that people of around a certain ELO are going to like you. Whether you wait or not, they are still going to like you or not like you. You can't know this ahead of time, and you can't know who the matches are that will like you.
What this is designed to prevent is some average looking dude with shitty pics being hyper selective and only swiping the top 1% of girls to try and jack his ELO up.
If you wait 12 hours, it might say you have 25 likes, but you don't know who those people are...so you're going to swipe on girls you find attractive to you. Going from the second you make an account, same thing: you're going to swipe girls you find attractive. I can't see how anonymous likes would change my swiping behavior.
I do like to wait a decent period though, probably around 8-12 hours, to build up likes when trying new pictures for some sort of comparison. If I started an account and in 8 hours got 3+ likes, and then I use a difference set of pictures and get 25+ likes in 8 hours I can be pretty sure the new pictures are working better. If you just swipe from the start those likes don't get a chance to build.
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EPT
