EPTThat said I still try adhere to the rule of 1/2 + 7. Which for me is 21.5. As long as I can stick around this number I feel better going to sleep at night.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 989
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Emnjay808
United States10666 Posts
That said I still try adhere to the rule of 1/2 + 7. Which for me is 21.5. As long as I can stick around this number I feel better going to sleep at night. | ||
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
But I suppose everyone has their own perception of what age ranges are acceptable for them, so meh. | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8941 Posts
there are some things that dont require time to be developed, but there are some things that you can only develop with age. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
People working "normal jobs" who are 20-25 also tend to be more immature to me, like the local grocery store, some clothing store etc. These kind of jobs feels like they take only to continue existing if that makes sense. There are so many things I would like to have in life which you could never reach with such a job. Seeking out a higher education is important t o me, it shows that you're not willing to stay in one place. Of course there will always be exceptions, but I have not met anyone who doesn't study and felt really mature so far. | ||
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Artisreal
Germany9235 Posts
Still, paying 100k+ for a degree in the US is nothing to scoff at and jumping straight into debt can be quite the hurdle, understandably so, no matter what supposed prospects the degree brings. This seems very all eggs in one basket-esque, which, unless you can somehow evaluate the risk attached to the decision, seems rather immature. I can get behind ambition as a proxy for that though, I think. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On July 30 2018 18:56 Artisreal wrote: Thinking that pursuing higher education is a sign of maturity is rather presumptuous in my book. Given that this is an international forum and the circumstances vary from country to country, especially if there's nothing akin to the German system of apprenticeship in place to actually provide some form of non-uni-education, I can sort of get behind the idea. Still, paying 100k+ for a degree in the US is nothing to scoff at and jumping straight into debt can be quite the hurdle, understandably so, no matter what supposed prospects the degree brings. This seems very all eggs in one basket-esque, which, unless you can somehow evaluate the risk attached to the decision, seems rather immature. I can get behind ambition as a proxy for that though, I think. Of course, it's only my personal opinion and it's related to living in Sweden. As you literally get paid to study here, and you can take very benificial loans as you do it as well. I'm not saying everyone should become IT Consultants, but if you are satisfied with the first entry level job that's a really big red flag for me. There are other types of higher educations to be had other than ones which you specifically find at at Universities. I also did say that there are exceptions to this rule. Also realized my last sentence was very hyperbolic. I'm sure I've met people who haven't studied who are mature haha. | ||
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IshinShishi
Japan6156 Posts
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Excludos
Norway8281 Posts
On July 31 2018 01:07 IshinShishi wrote: Shouldn't take any nordic country as a standard for merit/ambition/commitment comparisons in anything, they live life set on the easiest mode and have so many variables working on their favor that it becomes useless and inaccurate to make comparisons with other countries. I'm not going to pretend it's bad living here, it's obviously not, but Scandinavia has problems like any other country. On the topic of this thread for instance, 40% of all men over 18 in Norway are single, and the bigger the city the lonelier people are. I think Japan and Scandinavia* are reaching similarity when it comes to relationships: People are simply too damn busy. Studying is free, so only your grades stop you from studying 7+ years in university, and then comes the early work stages where you work longer hours in hopes of impressing the boss (For anyone who haven't reached this yet: it doesn't. Just work normal hours or you're going to burn out real quick), and suddenly you're already mid thirties and still single. Its also simply just really hard to reach new people these days. Outside of your colleges and closest friends (Who in the cases of nerds like me are all male), it's going to be difficult to meet anyone new. *I don't know the exact statistics of Sweden or Denmark, but I would imagine it's similar, maybe even worse for Sweden where 1/5 of the entire population lives in one single city. | ||
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farvacola
United States18874 Posts
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On July 31 2018 02:28 farvacola wrote: I think any attempt at comparing countries with a "who has it better or worse" goal is gonna be riddled with issues that result from glossing over nation-specific idiosyncrasies. Speaking broadly, maybe it's accurate to assert that Scandinavian citizens have it "easier" than those in other regions, but I don't think that's a useful basis for claiming anything else and it definitely ignores a lot in the process. Yeah I live in a developing country (somewhat wealthy parents, at least when I was young, so I got a head start) and the problems people face are pretty similar to the United States or Sweden from what I read here, both in relationships and economics. The only exception would be people that live in extreme poverty here (10% of population) or people who live in 3rd world countries. Going 150k in debt to get a college degree (U.S.) or paying 40% of my income on taxes (Sweden) would make me want to cut my balls. Going back to my awesome gf, she is def an exception to the rule. I know other 19 y/o who are kids (her friends lol). And being honest most of the 20+ girls I know and many man are no better; no sense of responsability, long term goal planning, temper tantrums, etc. People on this forum are def an exception to the rule in that regard. | ||
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Excludos
Norway8281 Posts
On July 31 2018 04:45 GoTuNk! wrote: Yeah I live in a developing country (somewhat wealthy parents, at least when I was young, so I got a head start) and the problems people face are pretty similar to the United States or Sweden from what I read here, both in relationships and economics. The only exception would be people that live in extreme poverty here (10% of population) or people who live in 3rd world countries. Going 150k in debt to get a college degree (U.S.) or paying 40% of my income on taxes (Sweden) would make me want to cut my balls. Going back to my awesome gf, she is def an exception to the rule. I know other 19 y/o who are kids (her friends lol). And being honest most of the 20+ girls I know and many man are no better; no sense of responsability, long term goal planning, temper tantrums, etc. People on this forum are def an exception to the rule in that regard. Paying 40% tax isn't bad if it goes to the right things. You quickly end up saving money in the long run when you start calculating all the things you aren't paying for privately, like school, healthcare, pension, safety net in case something bad happens and/or you lose your job, and just generally keeping the economy up so those remaining 60% are worth more than they otherwise would have been. Definitively not something to cut your balls for. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On July 31 2018 05:33 Excludos wrote: Paying 40% tax isn't bad if it goes to the right things. You quickly end up saving money in the long run when you start calculating all the things you aren't paying for privately, like school, healthcare, pension, safety net in case something bad happens and/or you lose your job, and just generally keeping the economy up so those remaining 60% are worth more than they otherwise would have been. Definitively not something to cut your balls for. I beg to differ. This isn't a political thread though so I'll just leave it at that  | ||
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Uldridge
Belgium5237 Posts
Personal rant: + Show Spoiler + I'm getting there (at the age of 27), but I still need a little work to get my shit together and figure out completely what I want and/or fight for what I want/am doing. Im like 95% there, but it can so easily be turnt back to 80% or 50% if I'm not careful because I know myself. I'm very malleable to internal and external signals and actively combat that to make myself more able to endure these patterns that used to get me down so easily. I know I'll struggle with these with the rest of my life, but I'll be able to die a happy man when I haven't let it get the better of me. @bloodwhore your view seems so juvenile. People not chasing higher education is perfectly fine. Judging people for their situation you have no clue about is not. You don't know their personal lives so it would be unwise to do so. Personal traits and experiences might very well have led someone down a certain path they have very little control over in changing. People of above average intelligence often have no clue how the strata of intelligence under them go about their business because they've lavished in their inner circles for too long. It's basically professional deformation, but then on social/intelligent level I guess? Smart people generally hang out with smart people; good looking people generally hang out with good looking people and rich people hang out with rich people. Everyone is estranged and segregated in their own ways. I could go on and rant about multiculturalism and how I think it's failed, but I'll leave that be (for now). My opinion: just judge people solely after you've had some decent social interaction with them before you write them off, it'll make you less annoyed and pompous when you're in public and have seen the n-th weird looking or slow at the cash register guy for the day (I still get heavily annoyed at the last one though LOL). | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8941 Posts
the reason i think a 19 yr old could never be seen as mature in my eyes is because i associate maturity a lot with emotional stability, social behaviour, personality traits in addition to things such as ambition. tbh a lot of what people would call wisdom is what i find synonymous with maturity. just because people think like adults doesnt mean they are. people having ambition and drive is good and all, but i want to see them put their money where their mouths are rather than them only talking about what they aspire to do. | ||
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On July 31 2018 11:15 evilfatsh1t wrote: while ambition/life goals are definitely a factor in determining one's maturity, it is by no means the only criteria. im surprised most people associate maturity with this and this only (judging by their posts). the reason i think a 19 yr old could never be seen as mature in my eyes is because i associate maturity a lot with emotional stability, social behaviour, personality traits in addition to things such as ambition. tbh a lot of what people would call wisdom is what i find synonymous with maturity. just because people think like adults doesnt mean they are. people having ambition and drive is good and all, but i want to see them put their money where their mouths are rather than them only talking about what they aspire to do. I agree with you. Except it's a context thing, 80 years ago 19 y/o used to fight wars. We are all kids now | ||
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evilfatsh1t
Australia8941 Posts
On July 31 2018 11:34 GoTuNk! wrote: I agree with you. Except it's a context thing, 80 years ago 19 y/o used to fight wars. We are all kids now yeah definitely. my opinion on 19 yr olds is relevant to our current generation only. i respect my grandpa the most out of everyone ive ever known and the things hes accomplished since he was 18 i couldnt imagine accomplishing myself. the older generations definitely grew up faster | ||
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IshinShishi
Japan6156 Posts
On July 31 2018 13:05 evilfatsh1t wrote: yeah definitely. my opinion on 19 yr olds is relevant to our current generation only. i respect my grandpa the most out of everyone ive ever known and the things hes accomplished since he was 18 i couldnt imagine accomplishing myself. the older generations definitely grew up faster A lot of young people from the past went blindly into wars, it wasn't really a well thought out decision. The thing about the past is that tradition and sets of rules were followed much much more strictly, and I don't think following the steps others set out for you without much question requires much maturity or wisdom, by comparison, millenials have access to much more information about anything and tend to ponder more about what they might do. | ||
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
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Emnjay808
United States10666 Posts
It just so happened that people responded to and branched off the professional/career aspect of my original post. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On July 31 2018 07:51 Uldridge wrote:People not chasing higher education is perfectly fine. Judging people for their situation you have no clue about is not. Sure it is. I just said I have found a correlation with immature people and people who decide not to continue study. And it is certainly affected by my surroundings, pretty much everyone I know have/are studying for 5 years. On July 31 2018 07:51 Uldridge wrote: I could go on and rant about multiculturalism and how I think it's failed, but I'll leave that be (for now). My opinion: just judge people solely after you've had some decent social interaction with them before you write them off Not sure why multiculturalism would be related to this at all. Thankfully people don't state the University they studied at when they say their name, so I'm fine. | ||
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