Dating: How's your luck? - Page 991

On August 01 2018 08:46 ThunderJunk wrote:
So, I ventured out into the world, and met this super cool Australian chick at a bar. We talked, got along quite well, and eventually left the bar and hung out outside (it was daytime). We walked to the park, threw a Frisbee back and fourth. Then, sat down, eventually started cuddling, kissed. It was awesome. Then, she had to go. So, I walked her to her car, we made out some, and I made sure I had the right phone number from her. She drove off.

I texted her a few times. She didn't respond.

I think I had an amazing connection with her, and then she vanished. <<This right here is where the story should've stopped.

I FB stalked her to see if I could figure out why. Her profile picture was taken 2 years ago, and it's her in a wedding dress. What....

On August 01 2018 08:55 NewSunshine wrote:

Well, see the quote. When a girl disappears/flakes/whatevers on you and didn't say why, it's not your job to find out. You just shrug, say whatever, and move on. And hope the next encounter goes differently. You never need to find out where someone went if they're actually into you.

On August 01 2018 08:46 ThunderJunk wrote:
So, I ventured out into the world, and met this super cool Australian chick at a bar. We talked, got along quite well, and eventually left the bar and hung out outside (it was daytime). We walked to the park, threw a Frisbee back and fourth. Then, sat down, eventually started cuddling, kissed. It was awesome. Then, she had to go. So, I walked her to her car, we made out some, and I made sure I had the right phone number from her. She drove off.

I texted her a few times. She didn't respond.

I think I had an amazing connection with her, and then she vanished.

I FB stalked her to see if I could figure out why. Her profile picture was taken 2 years ago, and it's her in a wedding dress. What....

On August 01 2018 08:46 ThunderJunk wrote:
So, I ventured out into the world, and met this super cool Australian chick at a bar. We talked, got along quite well, and eventually left the bar and hung out outside (it was daytime). We walked to the park, threw a Frisbee back and fourth. Then, sat down, eventually started cuddling, kissed. It was awesome. Then, she had to go. So, I walked her to her car, we made out some, and I made sure I had the right phone number from her. She drove off.

I texted her a few times. She didn't respond.

I think I had an amazing connection with her, and then she vanished.

I FB stalked her to see if I could figure out why. Her profile picture was taken 2 years ago, and it's her in a wedding dress. What....

On August 02 2018 16:15 Artisreal wrote:
Move on.
She did not feel a spark and doesn't lead you on, which you would have complained about here in 4 weeks or so when she would've ended it, still not feeling a spark.
If you don't have butterflies in your stomach while talking or at the thought of seein each other again, maybe, just maybe, this isn't it for you.

Maybe it also is a polite way of declining and trying to hurt less with a pretty reasonable and apersonal answer.
Power dynamic shifting is a ridiculous assertion in the wake of male violence against women who dismiss their advances.

On August 02 2018 16:59 Bigtony wrote:
Oh, you were at the bar with us Monday night? What'd you think of the beer mate? Or if you're just clairvoyant who's going to win TI? What did you think of our conversation after she told me she wasn't interested?

On August 02 2018 17:28 mahrgell wrote:


Well... looks like she wasn't as intrigued by you.

Guys like you should finally stop feeling like they are owed anything. You simply aren't.

The dating partner does not owe anyone an explanation or even a thorough argument about their reasonings for dumping the other.
I remember the horror of breaking up with my former gf, who felt like she had to argue my reasons (and what she then implied to be my reasons against everything I said) and about everything. And this was after a 2 year relationship.

But in modern dating, most girls have to go through this basically twice a week, because every guy they met at a bar once now wants a detailed reasoning for their refusal and then wants to tell them how they are wrong. And half of them enter rage mode regardless of what is said.
Giving a simple reasoning that can't be argued against (like "Sparks didnt fly" regardless of not liking your nose, your smell, your character or your sex appeal) is the easiest shield against this behavior. Some may also just do it, because they don't feel like hurting the other person over just one date. If you met a girl once and felt like you could never go anywhere with her in public, because her voice is obnoxious, would you really tell her after that one date? Or would you not also just make up something?
Now of course this fucks over the few guys, who were just honestly asking for a reasoning and would have left with that knowledge peacefully. But well... I can understand every girl not feeling like trying it out again and again, if this is the one guy who reacts kindly. Especially after you decided that this isn't the person to share your time with.

Now of course you can turn this into multiple pages of argument here on TL. But in the end, this won't get you any further. The game is played as it is and no matter your arguments the world won't change for you. Also there are indeed good reasons for how the game is played, which you obviously don't accept, but that won't matter either.
It is up to you, do you want to play and to win? Or do you want to be the guy who loses and then always bitches on the ref in the post match interview?

On August 02 2018 16:31 Bigtony wrote:


Of course I'm moving on, it was 1 date with a rando from the internet. I'm more pissed at the ridiculous behavior of the dating population on the whole and the idiotic conceptions of love and relationships floating around.

I don't believe "butterflies in the stomach" is a predictor for healthy adult relationships. We're not 16 year old horn dogs, we're 30+ year old professionals looking for someone to marry and have children with. Love at first sight is a lie; for many people attraction develops over time, and a second date isn't four weeks... Quite the contrary - spark is a bullshit meaningless word; say nothing at all and just unmatch with me.

There's nothing ridiculous at all in the assertion that women have all of the advantage in online dating. For the vast majority of guys it's a race to the bottom of the barrel. This article is about tinder, but all the other apps have switched to a tinder like "swipe right" approach to matching people.

https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinder-experiments-ii-guys-unless-you-are-really-hot-you-are-probably-better-off-not-wasting-your-2ddf370a6e9a

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2016/08/17/this-is-what-online-dating-is-like-when-youre-not-gorgeous-or-ugly-but-average/?utm_term=.ab0a9f0a4669

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/soloish/wp/2016/03/21/go-ahead-ladies-make-the-first-move-youll-date-more-attractive-men/?utm_term=.653839965497

Man on woman violence doesn't have anything to do with matching with people on an online dating service who you aren't actually interested in; you don't have to meet with anyone you aren't actually attracted to. Even on women focused apps like Bumble, women match and then never send a message. Makes no sense at all.