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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
July 06 2018 21:56 GMT
#19681
Out of curiosity, how does oral work in one night stands? You can still pass STDs.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
GreenHorizons
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States24130 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-07-06 22:04:29
July 06 2018 22:02 GMT
#19682
On July 07 2018 06:56 WarSame wrote:
Out of curiosity, how does oral work in one night stands? You can still pass STDs.


I'm curious what STD's would be deal breakers for people if she was literally the most attractive woman that ever talked to you let alone wanted to hookup?

EDIT: Also dental dam for men to use on women. I only used it once as an experiment and it was really weird from what I remember though.
"People like to look at history and think 'If that was me back then, I would have...' We're living through history, and the truth is, whatever you are doing now is probably what you would have done then" "Scratch a Liberal..."
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-07-06 22:02:58
July 06 2018 22:02 GMT
#19683
On July 07 2018 06:56 WarSame wrote:
Out of curiosity, how does oral work in one night stands? You can still pass STDs.


As far as I know, the chance is really, really low in comparison to sex. But if extra safety is your goal, then oral with condom only.
Excludos
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Norway8267 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-07-06 22:06:42
July 06 2018 22:05 GMT
#19684
On July 07 2018 06:56 WarSame wrote:
Out of curiosity, how does oral work in one night stands? You can still pass STDs.


Yeah I'd skip that part the first time if I was you. If you feel excessively confident you don't have any sores around the mouth then maybe, but even then I wouldn't take the chance

On July 07 2018 07:02 sc-darkness wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 07 2018 06:56 WarSame wrote:
Out of curiosity, how does oral work in one night stands? You can still pass STDs.


As far as I know, the chance is really, really low in comparison to sex. But if extra safety is your goal, then oral with condom only.


Difficult to put condom on a girl
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
July 06 2018 22:06 GMT
#19685
you can get nasty shit from oral. HIV is rarely transmitted but other STDs are way more prone to be. Just think about herpes.
passive quaranstream fan
GreenHorizons
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States24130 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-07-06 22:12:49
July 06 2018 22:12 GMT
#19686
On July 07 2018 07:06 Artisreal wrote:
you can get nasty shit from oral. HIV is rarely transmitted but other STDs are way more prone to be. Just think about herpes.


Presuming you're not part of the 50-80% of people who already have it (herpes). But yeah it's a less than 10% chance of getting infected if they aren't having an active outbreak and it goes down from there with additional steps (condoms, anti-virals, etc).
"People like to look at history and think 'If that was me back then, I would have...' We're living through history, and the truth is, whatever you are doing now is probably what you would have done then" "Scratch a Liberal..."
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-07-06 22:35:32
July 06 2018 22:29 GMT
#19687
On July 07 2018 07:12 GreenHorizons wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 07 2018 07:06 Artisreal wrote:
you can get nasty shit from oral. HIV is rarely transmitted but other STDs are way more prone to be. Just think about herpes.


Presuming you're not part of the 50-80% of people who already have it (herpes). But yeah it's a less than 10% chance of getting infected if they aren't having an active outbreak and it goes down from there with additional steps (condoms, anti-virals, etc).


I got herpes way before I had sex, possibly from kisses from relatives. So, considering I get herpes once a year or even rarer than that, which is when my immune system is really down, I think this is the least of your worries. I'm sure common cold is a much more frequent problem for you.

Edit: Herpes on lips just in case there is a different kind of herpes.
L_Master
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States8017 Posts
July 06 2018 23:14 GMT
#19688
On July 07 2018 07:02 GreenHorizons wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 07 2018 06:56 WarSame wrote:
Out of curiosity, how does oral work in one night stands? You can still pass STDs.


I'm curious what STD's would be deal breakers for people if she was literally the most attractive woman that ever talked to you let alone wanted to hookup?

EDIT: Also dental dam for men to use on women. I only used it once as an experiment and it was really weird from what I remember though.


For me I guess I'd ask two things:

1) Can it kill me?
2) Is it permanent?

Obviously for #1 any disease can, but I'm assuming I guess less than 1 in 1000 odds or something like that. I'm not sure if the answer to #1 is yes other than case of HIV, barring unusual complications. Then for #2, which STDs are viral and prone to coming back.

To which I then need to know the sides to decide if it's worth it.

Tbh I should probably know more about this than I do. Anyone know this decently and want to inform the rest of us?
EffOrt and Soulkey Hwaiting!
L_Master
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States8017 Posts
July 06 2018 23:16 GMT
#19689
On July 07 2018 07:29 sc-darkness wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 07 2018 07:12 GreenHorizons wrote:
On July 07 2018 07:06 Artisreal wrote:
you can get nasty shit from oral. HIV is rarely transmitted but other STDs are way more prone to be. Just think about herpes.


Presuming you're not part of the 50-80% of people who already have it (herpes). But yeah it's a less than 10% chance of getting infected if they aren't having an active outbreak and it goes down from there with additional steps (condoms, anti-virals, etc).


I got herpes way before I had sex, possibly from kisses from relatives. So, considering I get herpes once a year or even rarer than that, which is when my immune system is really down, I think this is the least of your worries. I'm sure common cold is a much more frequent problem for you.

Edit: Herpes on lips just in case there is a different kind of herpes.


There is. Genital Herpes is a thing. Usually caused by HSV2, whereas the oral form is usually caused by HSV1.
EffOrt and Soulkey Hwaiting!
evilfatsh1t
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia8899 Posts
July 07 2018 04:50 GMT
#19690
On July 07 2018 07:12 GreenHorizons wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 07 2018 07:06 Artisreal wrote:
you can get nasty shit from oral. HIV is rarely transmitted but other STDs are way more prone to be. Just think about herpes.


Presuming you're not part of the 50-80% of people who already have it (herpes). But yeah it's a less than 10% chance of getting infected if they aren't having an active outbreak and it goes down from there with additional steps (condoms, anti-virals, etc).

50-80?
bit of an exaggeration dont u think? or do you have a source
LegalLord
Profile Blog Joined April 2013
United States13779 Posts
July 07 2018 04:56 GMT
#19691
On July 07 2018 13:50 evilfatsh1t wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 07 2018 07:12 GreenHorizons wrote:
On July 07 2018 07:06 Artisreal wrote:
you can get nasty shit from oral. HIV is rarely transmitted but other STDs are way more prone to be. Just think about herpes.


Presuming you're not part of the 50-80% of people who already have it (herpes). But yeah it's a less than 10% chance of getting infected if they aren't having an active outbreak and it goes down from there with additional steps (condoms, anti-virals, etc).

50-80?
bit of an exaggeration dont u think? or do you have a source

That sounds about right, honestly. Source
History will sooner or later sweep the European Union away without mercy.
L_Master
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States8017 Posts
July 07 2018 05:25 GMT
#19692
On July 07 2018 13:50 evilfatsh1t wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 07 2018 07:12 GreenHorizons wrote:
On July 07 2018 07:06 Artisreal wrote:
you can get nasty shit from oral. HIV is rarely transmitted but other STDs are way more prone to be. Just think about herpes.


Presuming you're not part of the 50-80% of people who already have it (herpes). But yeah it's a less than 10% chance of getting infected if they aren't having an active outbreak and it goes down from there with additional steps (condoms, anti-virals, etc).

50-80?
bit of an exaggeration dont u think? or do you have a source


Nah most people have cold sores on their face or lips from time to time. That's herpes.
EffOrt and Soulkey Hwaiting!
evilfatsh1t
Profile Joined October 2010
Australia8899 Posts
July 07 2018 07:29 GMT
#19693
i literally know 0 people who have/had have cold sores. i was disputing the statistic for the genital herpes version though. the stat seems way too high for both versions either way
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
July 07 2018 08:30 GMT
#19694
uuh, guys I posted the PP link to genital diseases earlier. That's a good start to inform yourself.

herpes up to 90% prevalence of HSV1 in Germany, WHO estimates 2/3 infection rate world wide. Guess I'm a lucky guy, all my flatmates had it when I was living in a flatshare.
Also about 15% HSV2 infection rate in Germany. Though I've read different (higher) numbers but those were a litte more difficult to interpret.
passive quaranstream fan
Ghostcom
Profile Joined March 2010
Denmark4783 Posts
July 07 2018 08:31 GMT
#19695
Herpes can lie dormant and will only break out if it is activated or your immune system is compromised. Most are infected during birth/infancy. As a consequence there are a lot of unaware carriers out there (likely including you).
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-07-07 10:51:55
July 07 2018 10:35 GMT
#19696
On July 07 2018 16:29 evilfatsh1t wrote:
i literally know 0 people who have/had have cold sores. i was disputing the statistic for the genital herpes version though. the stat seems way too high for both versions either way


Anecdotal experience isn't a proof though. I and you could meet every day for one year, and you may not see my lips herpes even once. Or, if you do, it will be just once. I'm sure most people here have more frequent problems with the common cold, skin, allergies, etc. Now these are worse than lips herpes. Lips herpes is just once in a long time and it goes away.

Edit: I guess that's good to know even though I don't know if Wikipedia is trustworthy in this case.
Direct contact with the genitals can result in genital herpes.[1]

If you get that rare lips herpes experience, don't kiss or do oral love with your partner until it clears itself. Usually within 10 days.
Excludos
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Norway8267 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-07-07 12:25:35
July 07 2018 12:23 GMT
#19697
On July 07 2018 17:31 Ghostcom wrote:
Herpes can lie dormant and will only break out if it is activated or your immune system is compromised. Most are infected during birth/infancy. As a consequence there are a lot of unaware carriers out there (likely including you).


Something I've always wondered about is, when figures shows 80 to 90% of the population has it, why is it not 100%? It would be practically impossible to not kiss or have sex with someone who doesn't have herpes if it's that normal. Are the remaining simply immune to it?
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-07-07 19:20:02
July 07 2018 19:19 GMT
#19698
On July 07 2018 21:23 Excludos wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 07 2018 17:31 Ghostcom wrote:
Herpes can lie dormant and will only break out if it is activated or your immune system is compromised. Most are infected during birth/infancy. As a consequence there are a lot of unaware carriers out there (likely including you).


Something I've always wondered about is, when figures shows 80 to 90% of the population has it, why is it not 100%? It would be practically impossible to not kiss or have sex with someone who doesn't have herpes if it's that normal. Are the remaining simply immune to it?


Maybe it's possible to be immune to it even if you're infected. This article ( https://www.medicaldaily.com/why-some-people-are-immune-hiv-ebola-and-other-diseases-397940 ) claims that 1% of Caucasians are immune to HIV (please don't try to find out on your own if you're one of them), some people are immune to Ebola, etc.
L_Master
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States8017 Posts
July 08 2018 21:44 GMT
#19699
On July 08 2018 04:19 sc-darkness wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 07 2018 21:23 Excludos wrote:
On July 07 2018 17:31 Ghostcom wrote:
Herpes can lie dormant and will only break out if it is activated or your immune system is compromised. Most are infected during birth/infancy. As a consequence there are a lot of unaware carriers out there (likely including you).


Something I've always wondered about is, when figures shows 80 to 90% of the population has it, why is it not 100%? It would be practically impossible to not kiss or have sex with someone who doesn't have herpes if it's that normal. Are the remaining simply immune to it?


Maybe it's possible to be immune to it even if you're infected. This article ( https://www.medicaldaily.com/why-some-people-are-immune-hiv-ebola-and-other-diseases-397940 ) claims that 1% of Caucasians are immune to HIV (please don't try to find out on your own if you're one of them), some people are immune to Ebola, etc.


Okay so if you "have" it, this means you're a carrier for it. The virus is incorporated into the genome of some of your cells but for non-symptomatic carriers it isn't active or never is able to achieve concentration enough to cause problems. Why does this not happen for some people? It's possible they aren't exposed, but more likely they have an immune system that successfully fought it off completely.

If you don't have it, it means you're body either cleared the infection entirely or you were never exposed.

The immunity generally means the virus cannot infect you. In other words, you could have exposure to AIDS but due to receptor differences from most of the population, HIV cannot bind and affect cells.

EffOrt and Soulkey Hwaiting!
maybenexttime
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Poland5837 Posts
July 08 2018 22:26 GMT
#19700
AIDS and HIV are not synonyms. Not trying to be a dick or anything, just pointing out. :-)
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