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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
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Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On March 19 2018 05:55 sc-darkness wrote:Show nested quote +On March 19 2018 05:19 Artisreal wrote:
It's about not getting beat up though. This is what I meant. Thanks for understanding me.  I didn't mean muscles -> relationship. Most of people at my gym have more muscles than me, so getting beat up is highly likely if I upset some girl's boyfriend. And you can't tell if they're single either..
You'd have to be incredibly creepy over a long period of time to get beaten up. Seriously like 99% of beat ups are drunk people at night. I can't figure out an scenario where a dude at a gym would go and beat you up on day broadlight lol.
Crossfit is different than regular gym because there is a social part to it both in class and as part of a regular schedule of activites for it's members.
My box has been going for close to 4 years now and 5 couples that formed in it are currently engaged , not to mention easily a hundred relationships that are currently going or started/broke up in it. Met my current gf there aswell.
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On March 19 2018 05:55 sc-darkness wrote:Show nested quote +On March 19 2018 05:19 Artisreal wrote:
It's about not getting beat up though. This is what I meant. Thanks for understanding me. I didn't mean muscles -> relationship. Most of people at my gym have more muscles than me, so getting beat up is highly likely if I upset some girl's boyfriend. And you can't tell if they're single either..
I apologize and instead prescribe you either a gun, knife, some blunt object or some martial arts lessons 
But for real, before someone beats you up because you talk to his gf you will get thrown out of the gym by the staff for being a creep.
On March 19 2018 06:16 maybenexttime wrote:
@waffelz
I can attest to that. I gained 15 kg in two years, still single. :<
With those gains the amount of time you spend at the gym might be the exact reasons why that is 
On March 19 2018 06:49 Excludos wrote:Show nested quote +Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good. I'm having huge problems with this exact part. I find it very difficult to get hobbies which I both find enjoyable and where I can meet other people (especially of the opposite sex, obviously). If I enjoyed dancing, that would probably be the easiest bet, but I don't. Everything nerdy is immediately out, as while there are nerdy girls out there, they have about 100x guys slobbering over them at any point in time. I do enjoy working out and bouldering/climbing, but it's difficult to meet other people there as they generally don't want to converse with others as they work out (Could be a Norwegian thing? Or maybe I'm just too introverted to strike up conversations with random women expecting them not to get annoyed if I do).
I dont know, climbing always gets mentioned as being good for meeting women in here and from what I hear and there seem to be not too few of them too. But I still feel you, my main activities that I genuinely enjoy are full contact martial arts and gaming so... I teached a self defence class for women for 2 semesters at my uni but it got replaced by some bullshit called Wen-Do(google it, its hilarious) and I am back to square minus one since then 
On March 19 2018 04:41 GoTuNk! wrote:I always advice people to join a Crossfit Gym
At this point they better pay you for advertisement :D
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On March 20 2018 02:06 waffelz wrote:Show nested quote +On March 19 2018 05:55 sc-darkness wrote:On March 19 2018 05:19 Artisreal wrote:
It's about not getting beat up though. This is what I meant. Thanks for understanding me. I didn't mean muscles -> relationship. Most of people at my gym have more muscles than me, so getting beat up is highly likely if I upset some girl's boyfriend. And you can't tell if they're single either.. I apologize and instead prescribe you either a gun, knife, some blunt object or some martial arts lessons But for real, before someone beats you up because you talk to his gf you will get thrown out of the gym by the staff for being a creep. Show nested quote +On March 19 2018 06:16 maybenexttime wrote:
@waffelz
I can attest to that. I gained 15 kg in two years, still single. :< With those gains the amount of time you spend at the gym might be the exact reasons why that is Show nested quote +On March 19 2018 06:49 Excludos wrote:Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good. I'm having huge problems with this exact part. I find it very difficult to get hobbies which I both find enjoyable and where I can meet other people (especially of the opposite sex, obviously). If I enjoyed dancing, that would probably be the easiest bet, but I don't. Everything nerdy is immediately out, as while there are nerdy girls out there, they have about 100x guys slobbering over them at any point in time. I do enjoy working out and bouldering/climbing, but it's difficult to meet other people there as they generally don't want to converse with others as they work out (Could be a Norwegian thing? Or maybe I'm just too introverted to strike up conversations with random women expecting them not to get annoyed if I do). I dont know, climbing always gets mentioned as being good for meeting women in here and from what I hear and there seem to be not too few of them too. But I still feel you, my main activities that I genuinely enjoy are full contact martial arts and gaming so... I teached a self defence class for women for 2 semesters at my uni but it got replaced by some bullshit called Wen-Do(google it, its hilarious) and I am back to square minus one since then Show nested quote +On March 19 2018 04:41 GoTuNk! wrote:I always advice people to join a Crossfit Gym At this point they better pay you for advertisement :D
Pretty sure he either owns a crossfit gym or is a personal trainer in one... so they already pay him
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co-own an affiliate
I also run an online crossfit equipment store
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Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good.
I'm not really sure I agree with this sentiment. There are few hobbies I think are worth persuing if you want to meet women. Like, dancing, yoga or other feminine type of work outs probably work. I don't think most men will not enjoy them that much. And it's not like you can go hitting on each girl you dance with.
On March 19 2018 06:49 Excludos wrote:I do enjoy working out and bouldering/climbing, but it's difficult to meet other people there as they generally don't want to converse with others as they work out (Could be a Norwegian thing? Or maybe I'm just too introverted to strike up conversations with random women expecting them not to get annoyed if I do).
Depends in my opinion. I climb in Sweden, actually went today. In my experience, most girls go climbing with their friends. Getting to the point where you ask her on a date would require you to be pretty smooth if someone else is there interrupting. You can definitely talk to people though. Give them a beta to the problem (beta as in solution ) or just cheer them on etc. I tend to be quite focused when I climb though.
Honestly, I find climbing one of the easiest activities to strike up an activity. Because you always have something to talk about right there: the bloody route you're trying to climb! We always chat with whoever is climbing nearby when in the mountains. Even if it's just to ask whether it's ok if we leave the route equipped because we're having a sandwich but someone still wanted to climb it And there's tons of downtime, even if you only climb indoors.
This is my bane of my life. I am too good at climbing. It is rare that I climb the same difficulty as a girl.
(This is meant as a joke of course (but a tiny bit true :D ))
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On March 20 2018 06:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good. I'm not really sure I agree with this sentiment. There are few hobbies I think are worth persuing if you want to meet women. Like, dancing, yoga or other feminine type of work outs probably work. I don't think most men will not enjoy them that much. And it's not like you can go hitting on each girl you dance with. Show nested quote +On March 19 2018 06:49 Excludos wrote:I do enjoy working out and bouldering/climbing, but it's difficult to meet other people there as they generally don't want to converse with others as they work out (Could be a Norwegian thing? Or maybe I'm just too introverted to strike up conversations with random women expecting them not to get annoyed if I do). Depends in my opinion. I climb in Sweden, actually went today. In my experience, most girls go climbing with their friends. Getting to the point where you ask her on a date would require you to be pretty smooth if someone else is there interrupting. You can definitely talk to people though. Give them a beta to the problem (beta as in solution ) or just cheer them on etc. I tend to be quite focused when I climb though. Show nested quote +Honestly, I find climbing one of the easiest activities to strike up an activity. Because you always have something to talk about right there: the bloody route you're trying to climb! We always chat with whoever is climbing nearby when in the mountains. Even if it's just to ask whether it's ok if we leave the route equipped because we're having a sandwich but someone still wanted to climb it And there's tons of downtime, even if you only climb indoors.
This is my bane of my life. I am too good at climbing. It is rare that I climb the same difficulty as a girl. (This is meant as a joke of course (but a tiny bit true :D ))
This is generally my experience as well. I have no trouble tackling routes together with strangers. But they (and me) is focused on the route at that point, and attempting to steer the conversation to anything else would quickly become awkward. They're also usually never alone (climbing alone gets boring quickly), and trying to inject yourself into a friend group is not a good starting place. Not to mention once the route is cleared, you go your separate ways again. I don't think it's a very ideal place to chat up women at all (Unless it's someone you brought with you).
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On March 20 2018 06:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:Show nested quote +Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good. I'm not really sure I agree with this sentiment. There are few hobbies I think are worth persuing if you want to meet women. Like, dancing, yoga or other feminine type of work outs probably work. I don't think most men will not enjoy them that much. And it's not like you can go hitting on each girl you dance with.
Well part of seeking out a hobbie that makes it possible to meet many women is that you enjoy it yourself, otherwise it wouldnt be a hobbie right? At least thats what I was trying to say. The activity itself should be suficiently enjoyable on its own while meeting women is just an added bonus.
On March 20 2018 04:05 Acrofales wrote:Pretty sure he either owns a crossfit gym or is a personal trainer in one... so they already pay him
On March 20 2018 04:39 GoTuNk! wrote:co-own an affiliate I also run an online crossfit equipment store
So you are telling me your posts are unmarked sponsored content?
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There's some apps to borrow dogs, doing that and going to a park (dog or otherwise) seems like it could be a good way to meet girls.
Cute/ugly dogs are great at being conversation starters too.
If you wanted to be extra fancy they have apps where you can get paid to walk the dog, so you get a date and pick up a little of the cost at the same time. Not sure how international they are though.
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On March 20 2018 06:34 Excludos wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2018 06:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good. I'm not really sure I agree with this sentiment. There are few hobbies I think are worth persuing if you want to meet women. Like, dancing, yoga or other feminine type of work outs probably work. I don't think most men will not enjoy them that much. And it's not like you can go hitting on each girl you dance with. On March 19 2018 06:49 Excludos wrote:I do enjoy working out and bouldering/climbing, but it's difficult to meet other people there as they generally don't want to converse with others as they work out (Could be a Norwegian thing? Or maybe I'm just too introverted to strike up conversations with random women expecting them not to get annoyed if I do). Depends in my opinion. I climb in Sweden, actually went today. In my experience, most girls go climbing with their friends. Getting to the point where you ask her on a date would require you to be pretty smooth if someone else is there interrupting. You can definitely talk to people though. Give them a beta to the problem (beta as in solution ) or just cheer them on etc. I tend to be quite focused when I climb though. Honestly, I find climbing one of the easiest activities to strike up an activity. Because you always have something to talk about right there: the bloody route you're trying to climb! We always chat with whoever is climbing nearby when in the mountains. Even if it's just to ask whether it's ok if we leave the route equipped because we're having a sandwich but someone still wanted to climb it And there's tons of downtime, even if you only climb indoors.
This is my bane of my life. I am too good at climbing. It is rare that I climb the same difficulty as a girl. (This is meant as a joke of course (but a tiny bit true :D )) This is generally my experience as well. I have no trouble tackling routes together with strangers. But they (and me) is focused on the route at that point, and attempting to steer the conversation to anything else would quickly become awkward. They're also usually never alone (climbing alone gets boring quickly), and trying to inject yourself into a friend group is not a good starting place. Not to mention once the route is cleared, you go your separate ways again. I don't think it's a very ideal place to chat up women at all (Unless it's someone you brought with you).
You do the route, you're focused on the route. You're done with the route and say "we're going the bar down in the town for a beer. Want to join?"
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On March 20 2018 07:15 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2018 06:34 Excludos wrote:On March 20 2018 06:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good. I'm not really sure I agree with this sentiment. There are few hobbies I think are worth persuing if you want to meet women. Like, dancing, yoga or other feminine type of work outs probably work. I don't think most men will not enjoy them that much. And it's not like you can go hitting on each girl you dance with. On March 19 2018 06:49 Excludos wrote:I do enjoy working out and bouldering/climbing, but it's difficult to meet other people there as they generally don't want to converse with others as they work out (Could be a Norwegian thing? Or maybe I'm just too introverted to strike up conversations with random women expecting them not to get annoyed if I do). Depends in my opinion. I climb in Sweden, actually went today. In my experience, most girls go climbing with their friends. Getting to the point where you ask her on a date would require you to be pretty smooth if someone else is there interrupting. You can definitely talk to people though. Give them a beta to the problem (beta as in solution ) or just cheer them on etc. I tend to be quite focused when I climb though. Honestly, I find climbing one of the easiest activities to strike up an activity. Because you always have something to talk about right there: the bloody route you're trying to climb! We always chat with whoever is climbing nearby when in the mountains. Even if it's just to ask whether it's ok if we leave the route equipped because we're having a sandwich but someone still wanted to climb it And there's tons of downtime, even if you only climb indoors.
This is my bane of my life. I am too good at climbing. It is rare that I climb the same difficulty as a girl. (This is meant as a joke of course (but a tiny bit true :D )) This is generally my experience as well. I have no trouble tackling routes together with strangers. But they (and me) is focused on the route at that point, and attempting to steer the conversation to anything else would quickly become awkward. They're also usually never alone (climbing alone gets boring quickly), and trying to inject yourself into a friend group is not a good starting place. Not to mention once the route is cleared, you go your separate ways again. I don't think it's a very ideal place to chat up women at all (Unless it's someone you brought with you). You do the route, you're focused on the route. You're done with the route and say "we're going the bar down in the town for a beer. Want to join?"
This sounds like a horrible idea. Anyone with an average IQ would immediately see through it and judge me for being the creep I am. Inviting people to a bar only works if you're already out on the town or you are familiar with the person. Asking random strangers you've just met to a drink is not a cute pickup line
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There are actually very few situations that cannot serve as a basis for an introduction to a relationship with another person, the "creep" thing comes more from you acting in the role you've already set for yourself rather than the act of asking people you've just met to drinks or coffee.
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On March 20 2018 07:48 farvacola wrote:
There are actually very few situations that cannot serve as a basis for an introduction to a relationship with another person, the "creep" thing comes more from you acting in the role you've already set for yourself rather than the act of asking people you've just met to drinks or coffee.
It also comes from the fact that only a minority of women appreciates being harassed by every guy they meet. It gets old real quick. There's a time and place for asking someone for a drink, and that place is not with a stranger you've just met at a bouldering course. Just consider the tabled flipped: If I was minding my own business trying to work out, and a girl I've never seen before asks me out for a drink, I would immediately become suspicious and decline. This isn't a video game.
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IME the willingness of someone to accept an invitation for what is clearly a somewhat roundabout way of asking "let's spend some time together" is directly correlated to their interest in doing that in the first place. The creepiness factor really shouldn't be that big a concern; even if it's objectively kind of creepy it only ends up being perceived that way if they weren't very interested.
To an extent of course, but "let's get drinks" is far from any borderline cases.
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It's precisely the fact that "[t]his isn't a video game" that counsels against categorically regarding a relatively general set of circumstances as essentially one way or the other; only an overly formalistic take on how to go about interacting with others can lead one to assert that people, be they women or men, would have a singularly predictable reaction to an iterative event that necessarily has the capacity to turn out a usually impossible to identify number of ways. Naturally, people who look like they're "minding [they're] own business" almost always give off some kind of readily identifiable signal that they'd rather not have folks cold approach, with headphones and/or some kind of pronounced expression of focus being the two most common in the fitness arena. But that said, people are not nearly as mysterious in public space as folks like to suppose, and to foreclose on the possibility that any number of women engage in public activities like bouldering or gymming precisely because they, much like a man, want to have the chance to meet someone who does what they like is to find yourself unable to figure out why you can't meet anyone.
So long as one is able to pass the baseline sufficient "does this person look like they want to talk to someone" test, including bearing the weight of the potential "I'm not interested" rejection with composure, there is no reason why you can't strike up a conversation with someone that leads to a "you wanna get a drink?" invitation in a situation like bouldering or gymming. Of course, "striking up a conversation" is not exactly a simple thing for many, but that's the rub, isn't it?
It's worth noting that there may be some cultural differences at work, but having worked at a gym for two and a half years while going weekly for about a decade now, it's absolutely a mistake for a guy who likes to gym to categorically stay away from interacting with women in fitness space.
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On March 20 2018 07:45 Excludos wrote:Show nested quote +On March 20 2018 07:15 Acrofales wrote:On March 20 2018 06:34 Excludos wrote:On March 20 2018 06:25 bloodwhore~ wrote:Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good. I'm not really sure I agree with this sentiment. There are few hobbies I think are worth persuing if you want to meet women. Like, dancing, yoga or other feminine type of work outs probably work. I don't think most men will not enjoy them that much. And it's not like you can go hitting on each girl you dance with. On March 19 2018 06:49 Excludos wrote:I do enjoy working out and bouldering/climbing, but it's difficult to meet other people there as they generally don't want to converse with others as they work out (Could be a Norwegian thing? Or maybe I'm just too introverted to strike up conversations with random women expecting them not to get annoyed if I do). Depends in my opinion. I climb in Sweden, actually went today. In my experience, most girls go climbing with their friends. Getting to the point where you ask her on a date would require you to be pretty smooth if someone else is there interrupting. You can definitely talk to people though. Give them a beta to the problem (beta as in solution ) or just cheer them on etc. I tend to be quite focused when I climb though. Honestly, I find climbing one of the easiest activities to strike up an activity. Because you always have something to talk about right there: the bloody route you're trying to climb! We always chat with whoever is climbing nearby when in the mountains. Even if it's just to ask whether it's ok if we leave the route equipped because we're having a sandwich but someone still wanted to climb it And there's tons of downtime, even if you only climb indoors.
This is my bane of my life. I am too good at climbing. It is rare that I climb the same difficulty as a girl. (This is meant as a joke of course (but a tiny bit true :D )) This is generally my experience as well. I have no trouble tackling routes together with strangers. But they (and me) is focused on the route at that point, and attempting to steer the conversation to anything else would quickly become awkward. They're also usually never alone (climbing alone gets boring quickly), and trying to inject yourself into a friend group is not a good starting place. Not to mention once the route is cleared, you go your separate ways again. I don't think it's a very ideal place to chat up women at all (Unless it's someone you brought with you). You do the route, you're focused on the route. You're done with the route and say "we're going the bar down in the town for a beer. Want to join?" This sounds like a horrible idea. Anyone with an average IQ would immediately see through it and judge me for being the creep I am. Inviting people to a bar only works if you're already out on the town or you are familiar with the person. Asking random strangers you've just met to a drink is not a cute pickup line
Really? Norway is weird. We often go for a beer after climbing, and I've met plenty of people climbing and then hanging out. And lets face it, if she (and her friends, because people are not usually out climbing alone) don't feel like joining you, they say no and that's that. No reason to be all creepy about it.
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Yeah I guess what I said has to be qualified by the admission that I cannot speak to cultural differences with regards to the Midwest United States and Norway. I still think there's almost always a chance that someone you run into on any given day could be receptive to interaction should you be open to making that choice.
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Some tip from me! Dont look in GF eyes when you trying to touch her)
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I think I'll just have break from dating websites soon. Tired of replies which are between 1 and 3 words. Social apps are actually antisocial. Maybe it's time for some gaming before I go back to such apps.
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You are sure to meet women while gaming.
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I didn't mean to meet women while gaming even though it's possible in some games.
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EPT
