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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
March 17 2018 09:37 GMT
#19221
I got 3 matches in Tinder in a day and I messaged them. No reply yet. It's been about a week. I guess not everyone is active. Sure, some people may not be interested to reply, but I don't think that's the case for all 3.
Excludos
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Norway8255 Posts
March 17 2018 12:01 GMT
#19222
On March 17 2018 18:37 sc-darkness wrote:
I got 3 matches in Tinder in a day and I messaged them. No reply yet. It's been about a week. I guess not everyone is active. Sure, some people may not be interested to reply, but I don't think that's the case for all 3.


This is my general experience with Tinder too. Matches are either bots or doesn't bother replying
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
March 17 2018 12:30 GMT
#19223
On March 17 2018 21:01 Excludos wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 17 2018 18:37 sc-darkness wrote:
I got 3 matches in Tinder in a day and I messaged them. No reply yet. It's been about a week. I guess not everyone is active. Sure, some people may not be interested to reply, but I don't think that's the case for all 3.


This is my general experience with Tinder too. Matches are either bots or doesn't bother replying


Yep, I think Tinder should report last seen status so you know if you should keep them matched or just cancel match.
Excludos
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Norway8255 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-03-17 13:01:57
March 17 2018 13:01 GMT
#19224
On March 17 2018 21:30 sc-darkness wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 17 2018 21:01 Excludos wrote:
On March 17 2018 18:37 sc-darkness wrote:
I got 3 matches in Tinder in a day and I messaged them. No reply yet. It's been about a week. I guess not everyone is active. Sure, some people may not be interested to reply, but I don't think that's the case for all 3.


This is my general experience with Tinder too. Matches are either bots or doesn't bother replying


Yep, I think Tinder should report last seen status so you know if you should keep them matched or just cancel match.


Like I mentioned earlier, I think it's because Tinder is a bit too mainstream. People use it "for fun" or to see how many matches/how popular they are, and doesn't actually have any interests in conversing with anyone on it. Doesn't mean there aren't anyone on there who isn't using it for its intended use, but they are harder to reach.

A "last seen" status would have been nice indeed
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
March 17 2018 14:52 GMT
#19225
On March 17 2018 18:37 sc-darkness wrote:
I got 3 matches in Tinder in a day and I messaged them. No reply yet. It's been about a week. I guess not everyone is active. Sure, some people may not be interested to reply, but I don't think that's the case for all 3.


It's actually very likely. I don't think you quite understand how casual/flakey the app is. Message 25 and come back.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
March 17 2018 16:21 GMT
#19226
That is extremely common. Expect to get no answers from like 50% of your matches.¨

They had that functionality like 3-4 years ago. They removed it, probably because guys got mad when they could see that the girl they messaged had been on tinder a lot while still not returning any messages.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
March 17 2018 17:40 GMT
#19227
Well, I'm not sure what application to use if Tinder isn't good enough. I mentioned Badoo earlier but it's sort of similar to Tinder.
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
March 17 2018 18:25 GMT
#19228
It is good enough. You just aren't using it right.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
bloodwhore~
Profile Joined September 2014
1010 Posts
March 17 2018 20:16 GMT
#19229
PM me your profile and I'll tell you exactly what is wrong with it. Don't take girls not responding the wrong way. They get A LOT of messages. You probably can't even fathom how many messages an attractive girl gets on tinder.
"Allahu akbar" - Techies.
WarSame
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada1950 Posts
March 18 2018 15:08 GMT
#19230
That's generally true of all online dating from what I've heard. I recommend meeting women in real life. It tends to work much better. LemOn can back me up on this.
Can it be I stayed away too long? Did you miss these rhymes while I was gone?
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-03-18 18:46:34
March 18 2018 18:40 GMT
#19231
Well, the only reason I use Tinder and similar websites is because I don't know enough single women in my everyday life. The only coworkers I find attractive aren't single, and yeah... I find it awkward to talk to random girls in gym, especially when they could have a boyfriend with a lot more muscles than me.

Edit: The only other thing I can think of is if I sign up for some class/hobby to meet more women.
pebble444
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Italy2503 Posts
March 18 2018 19:32 GMT
#19232
The best way i know of to meet single women is getting physically out there; more than 50% of women i know who are single would not bother replying to any form of technology unless for them its a diamond in the rough; so going the online way about these things makes you loose allready a substancial amount of single and available women;
"Awaken my Child, and embrace the Glory that is your Birthright"
GoTuNk!
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
Chile4591 Posts
March 18 2018 19:41 GMT
#19233
I always advice people to join a Crossfit Gym
waffelz
Profile Blog Joined June 2012
Germany711 Posts
March 18 2018 20:15 GMT
#19234
On March 19 2018 03:40 sc-darkness wrote:
Well, the only reason I use Tinder and similar websites is because I don't know enough single women in my everyday life. The only coworkers I find attractive aren't single, and yeah... I find it awkward to talk to random girls in gym, especially when they could have a boyfriend with a lot more muscles than me.

Edit: The only other thing I can think of is if I sign up for some class/hobby to meet more women.


The bold part made me laugh. You probably should work on your self-confidence a bit and also on the fact that relationships usually have no correlation to muscle mass. If they have a boyfriend, it usually will not be because he got more muscles than you, but he somehow sparked their interest and they give each other something that makes it worthwhile for them to stick together, also called: a mutually beneficial and healthy relationship.

Working out is good when you do it for yourself but when you only do it because you think it will get you a relationship you will have a bad time.

Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good. If working out is already a hobby to you stick with it but don’t that creepy guy that hits on every girl at the gym. From what I hear from my female friends, the gym is one of those places where being able to read clues, especially when someone wants to be left alone, is even more important than it already is.


Or just get some steroids, become bigger than every guy at the gym and you no longer have to worry about boyfriends with more muscles
RIP "The big travis CS degree thread", taken from us too soon | Honourable forum princess, defended by Rebs-approved white knights
Artisreal
Profile Joined June 2009
Germany9235 Posts
March 18 2018 20:19 GMT
#19235
It's about not getting beat up though.
passive quaranstream fan
sc-darkness
Profile Joined August 2017
856 Posts
Last Edited: 2018-03-18 21:04:50
March 18 2018 20:55 GMT
#19236
On March 19 2018 05:19 Artisreal wrote:
It's about not getting beat up though.


This is what I meant. Thanks for understanding me. I didn't mean muscles -> relationship. Most of people at my gym have more muscles than me, so getting beat up is highly likely if I upset some girl's boyfriend. And you can't tell if they're single either..
maybenexttime
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Poland5809 Posts
March 18 2018 21:16 GMT
#19237
@waffelz

I can attest to that. I gained 15 kg in two years, still single. :<
Excludos
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Norway8255 Posts
March 18 2018 21:49 GMT
#19238
Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good.


I'm having huge problems with this exact part. I find it very difficult to get hobbies which I both find enjoyable and where I can meet other people (especially of the opposite sex, obviously). If I enjoyed dancing, that would probably be the easiest bet, but I don't. Everything nerdy is immediately out, as while there are nerdy girls out there, they have about 100x guys slobbering over them at any point in time. I do enjoy working out and bouldering/climbing, but it's difficult to meet other people there as they generally don't want to converse with others as they work out (Could be a Norwegian thing? Or maybe I'm just too introverted to strike up conversations with random women expecting them not to get annoyed if I do).
Acrofales
Profile Joined August 2010
Spain18288 Posts
March 18 2018 22:25 GMT
#19239
Honestly, I find climbing one of the easiest activities to strike up an activity. Because you always have something to talk about right there: the bloody route you're trying to climb! We always chat with whoever is climbing nearby when in the mountains. Even if it's just to ask whether it's ok if we leave the route equipped because we're having a sandwich but someone still wanted to climb it And there's tons of downtime, even if you only climb indoors.

IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
March 18 2018 22:37 GMT
#19240
On March 19 2018 06:49 Excludos wrote:
Show nested quote +
Seeking out hobbies where you meet women are always good though, so that plan sounds good.


I'm having huge problems with this exact part. I find it very difficult to get hobbies which I both find enjoyable and where I can meet other people (especially of the opposite sex, obviously). If I enjoyed dancing, that would probably be the easiest bet, but I don't. Everything nerdy is immediately out, as while there are nerdy girls out there, they have about 100x guys slobbering over them at any point in time. I do enjoy working out and bouldering/climbing, but it's difficult to meet other people there as they generally don't want to converse with others as they work out (Could be a Norwegian thing? Or maybe I'm just too introverted to strike up conversations with random women expecting them not to get annoyed if I do).


Join a feminist book club.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
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