EPTThat's only tangentially relevant to that Tony Robbins spiel and the notion that women categorically partake in these differential "speech as acts instead of categorical statements" more than men is not only dangerous, it's stupid and it's wrong.
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 961
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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farvacola
United States18857 Posts
That's only tangentially relevant to that Tony Robbins spiel and the notion that women categorically partake in these differential "speech as acts instead of categorical statements" more than men is not only dangerous, it's stupid and it's wrong. | ||
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada17500 Posts
On February 28 2018 00:01 Calanthe wrote: Isn't Tony Robbins the guy that Tom Cruise's character in Magnolia was based on? IMO having one of your main tenets in a talk be "women don't really mean what they say" is a super fucking dangerous. Just saying that in a talk where you have hundreds of people present is awful. To elaborate a bit more on what Robbins is talking about, like... I am definitely guilty of doing this, but it's not because I don't mean what I say or because I'm some kind of crafty, masterful liar who's trying to trick my partner into doing something I want to do. It has more to do with downplaying my own needs and wants than it does with being disingenuous. On a long ride, I might feel like I could probably use the bathroom and grab a drink if we stopped, but if my partner doesn't need to stop for a piss and grab something to drink, I'm not interested in going through the hassle of getting off the interstate, finding a station with a bathroom that looks clean, etc. because my needs/wants aren't urgent enough to derail. Does that make sense? meh, i don't think its "super fucking dangerous". i don't think what he said was awful. He spoke in front many thousands ,about 40,000, people in toronto. i'd say you're being a bit intolerant and a bit overly judgmental. Boiling Robbins fable down to "women don't really mean what they say" is an oversimplification. Robbins is a funny, charismatic guy who sometimes has a very odd perspective. I don't always agree with him.. but he does make me question how i think. On February 28 2018 00:01 Calanthe wrote: Don't. Public transit is not the way to meet women. My facebook feed is filled with women in LA, NY, DC, London, Singapore, Chicago, etc. with women who complain weekly about the weirdo they encountered while trying to get to or from work. Women get bothered all the time on public transit and they don't generally like it. Caveat: Is she wearing a TL shirt? Then it's okay to say "Hey, I'm on TL too - did you see the last whatever tournament? So and so killed it." That kind of interaction is organic and demonstrates that there's some kind of common interest and you're not just some random asshole like all the other random assholes trying to rub her thigh, get her number, or just leering at her. i think it depends on local norms. speaking to people going to and from major events on the Greater Toronto Area "GO Train" happens. Often the topic of discussion is the upcoming event. if you meet a quality girl on the GO Train on the way to an MLS Toronto FC Soccer drunk-fest... then congratz on maximizing the use of our most precious resource.... time. | ||
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Calanthe
United States148 Posts
On February 28 2018 00:32 JimmyJRaynor wrote: meh, i don't think its "super fucking dangerous". i don't think what he said was awful. Tell me - where does that line of thinking stop? How does one determine if she's being serious when she says something, maybe sometime like "no," "I don't want to," or "please stop?" Tony Robbins just told 40,000 people that women don't mean what they say. Also, in no way am I oversimplifying. At 1:29 in the video Robbins literally says "Women don't really mean what they say." | ||
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LegalLord
United States13779 Posts
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GoTuNk!
Chile4591 Posts
On February 28 2018 10:13 Calanthe wrote: Tell me - where does that line of thinking stop? How does one determine if she's being serious when she says something, maybe sometime like "no," "I don't want to," or "please stop?" Tony Robbins just told 40,000 people that women don't mean what they say. Also, in no way am I oversimplifying. At 1:29 in the video Robbins literally says "Women don't really mean what they say." Well unless you are a savant, there are those things called intuition and non-verbal comunication. | ||
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sc-darkness
856 Posts
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JimmyJRaynor
Canada17500 Posts
On February 28 2018 10:13 Calanthe wrote: Tell me - where does that line of thinking stop? How does one determine if she's being serious when she says something, maybe sometime like "no," "I don't want to," or "please stop?" Tony Robbins just told 40,000 people that women don't mean what they say. Also, in no way am I oversimplifying. At 1:29 in the video Robbins literally says "Women don't really mean what they say." you stop that line of thinking when you remove the context of the story. within the context of the story... we have 2 people in a car and zero people under any form of duress. that's what is going on when the 2 people begin communicating. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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Excludos
Norway8255 Posts
On March 08 2018 08:23 sc-darkness wrote: Do you guys have any tips about Tinder? Is it a good website to use? Is it a bad one? What should I avoid? Well first off Tinder isn't a website, it's an app..and it's quite shit. I've tried using it for a while, and the only matches I get are either bots or doesn't answer (Although that could just be my ugly mug, who knows). I think the problem is that it became mainstream, and people signed up to get as many matches as possible without actually intending to hook up with anyone. In return no one takes the app seriously. It's also very shallow, where there is no metric to match up with someone other than first impression from their pictures alone. But then again it's free, so I won't stop you from trying it out if you want to. | ||
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sc-darkness
856 Posts
On March 08 2018 17:24 Excludos wrote: Well first off Tinder isn't a website, it's an app..and it's quite shit. I've tried using it for a while, and the only matches I get are either bots or doesn't answer (Although that could just be my ugly mug, who knows). I think the problem is that it became mainstream, and people signed up to get as many matches as possible without actually intending to hook up with anyone. In return no one takes the app seriously. It's also very shallow, where there is no metric to match up with someone other than first impression from their pictures alone. But then again it's free, so I won't stop you from trying it out if you want to. Well, I'm not sure where to meet some interesting girls who are single. Workplace doesn't work, the ones I find nice are already taken. :D | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
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sc-darkness
856 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On March 08 2018 08:23 sc-darkness wrote: Do you guys have any tips about Tinder? Is it a good website to use? Is it a bad one? What should I avoid? Oooh my area of expertise. I've met 30+ from tinder. I'd agree with Excludos that it is starting to get mainstream and most people aren't really looking for anything there. To answer your questions. 1. Pictures are EVERYTHING on tinder. It's extremely superficial which is to be expected, get amazing pictures and you will get matches and dates. 2. The website (which does exist Excludos), is decent. Most people use the app. 3. Nah, haven't really tried other apps, but I think tinder is one of the better ones. Might want to check out bumble, maybe that app is less mainstream and therefore is easier to meet people from. 4. Having bad photos. If you don't think "fuck me, that picture is amazing" about every photo on your profile, it shouldn't be there. | ||
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sc-darkness
856 Posts
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On March 09 2018 04:50 sc-darkness wrote: What kind of effort do you mean? Taking decent pictures of yourself, being willing to work with a 1/10 response rate and a 1/50 actual meet up rate, etc. I actually wrote out my "Tinder advice" here several times but people seem to prefer to argue about the unfairness of it all and remain passive. I'm sure that Bloodwhore (who came in as a rookie if i recall correctly) would agree that what made the difference for him is making an honest effort. | ||
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Dark_Chill
Canada3353 Posts
On March 08 2018 08:23 sc-darkness wrote: Do you guys have any tips about Tinder? Is it a good website to use? Is it a bad one? What should I avoid? Get about 4-5 pictures of yourself. All of your pictures should have something in them. Don't take a selfie, and try not to take a picture of you just standing around. If you have hobbies, show them off. If you go interesting places, or you travel, show it off. Get 1 or 2 group photos, but put them at the end so that there's no confusion of which one you are. Ask someone else to take pictures for you with a decent camera (I feel like most people these days have pretty good phone cameras). If you have pets, put them in. | ||
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Excludos
Norway8255 Posts
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Dark_Chill
Canada3353 Posts
On March 11 2018 07:37 Excludos wrote: Anyone know of any dating sites which is actually somewhat used and doesn't cost an arm or a leg btw? I'm not having much luck on Tinder, and OkCupid seems pretty dead in my country. Quick google search came up with Sukker.no and Moteplassen.com | ||
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sc-darkness
856 Posts
On March 11 2018 07:37 Excludos wrote: Anyone know of any dating sites which is actually somewhat used and doesn't cost an arm or a leg btw? I'm not having much luck on Tinder, and OkCupid seems pretty dead in my country. A friend of mine told me about Badoo which is like Tinder but I find it more interactive. Perhaps give it a try? | ||
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Excludos
Norway8255 Posts
On March 11 2018 08:13 Dark_Chill wrote: Quick google search came up with Sukker.no and Moteplassen.com Pretty sure I didn't ask for a google search here, I'm quite capable of doing that myself. Both of those sites are trash and costs quite a bit. I wanted to hear the experience from people who might have actually used some of them. On March 11 2018 08:14 sc-darkness wrote: A friend of mine told me about Badoo which is like Tinder but I find it more interactive. Perhaps give it a try? Thanks, I'll check it out! | ||
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