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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
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Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 10 2015 12:51 Dalguno wrote:
So we've discussed the age thing, guy to girl comparison. I was approached by a girl about 6 years my senior today, and she basically gave me her number. So, I'm 21, she's about 26 or 27. There doesn't seem anything wrong with it, other than the fact that she went after me which by some could be interpreted as desperate, but I don't really see anything wrong with that. I appreciate girls who are straight up. We'll see what this is like. ^^
Or a cougar, nothing wrong with a girl who likes younger men. It's ok for men to be that way afterall, she's older so she took the initiative.
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On April 10 2015 13:50 IgnE wrote:
Yeah she's desperate.
Or just not mired in bullshit gender roles?
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On April 10 2015 05:39 farvacola wrote:
There's a fine line between staying true to one's self and attempting to "put forward one's best face," so to speak. Not everyone can pull off the same outward character. I definitely think that there are some "Gollums" out there who are best served by figuring out how they can celebrate their Gollumness rather than attempting to look like Legolas, to exhaust the analogy.
This is probably the best piece of advice in this entire thread.
You just have to find your niche and be aware of your strengths.
Don't go: "Ahh, I'm pale and smell like fish and my hair is rubbish", go "Man, I have a rocking body fat % and giant blue eyes."
And then find a setting that works to your advantage. Why would you try your luck at clubs, when your best feature is your personality? No matter how interesting you are, unless you're able to communicate that, they're just going to go home with the hotter dude.
Finding your niche and being in an environment in which you are confident and comfortable can help you out much more than hair gel and whatever guys do to make their skin look orange.
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On April 10 2015 14:12 GreenHorizons wrote:Or just not mired in bullshit gender roles?
+1 It's bullshit that she has to be desperate 
Or she is desperate. To meet you. Because of your body language/looks/how you look like in social settings etc.
EDIT: Or a single mom, they ain't got no time to for playing games, all of them tend to be very straightforward, because they kinda have to.
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On April 10 2015 10:21 GoTuNk! wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2015 05:39 farvacola wrote:
There's a fine line between staying true to one's self and attempting to "put forward one's best face," so to speak. Not everyone can pull off the same outward character. I definitely think that there are some "Gollums" out there who are best served by figuring out how they can celebrate their Gollumness rather than attempting to look like Legolas, to exhaust the analogy. I am of the impression that picking girls up at bars is highly limiting for some people (short people for example T_T). It is much easier to find a niche in which you look better, talking to girls there, and sealing the deal at night. For example, I do my lifting (I am really good at lifting) in a crossfit gym full of hot girls, and I'm under the impression that I could def hit on a few of them if I wanted to. Sadly, the first girl I went out with from there was a keeper and is now my 6 month gf T_T.
So. If the "sadly" in that sentence was for real, break up with her, and go after the other fit ladoes on your gym!
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On April 10 2015 20:30 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2015 10:21 GoTuNk! wrote:On April 10 2015 05:39 farvacola wrote:
There's a fine line between staying true to one's self and attempting to "put forward one's best face," so to speak. Not everyone can pull off the same outward character. I definitely think that there are some "Gollums" out there who are best served by figuring out how they can celebrate their Gollumness rather than attempting to look like Legolas, to exhaust the analogy. I am of the impression that picking girls up at bars is highly limiting for some people (short people for example T_T). It is much easier to find a niche in which you look better, talking to girls there, and sealing the deal at night. For example, I do my lifting (I am really good at lifting) in a crossfit gym full of hot girls, and I'm under the impression that I could def hit on a few of them if I wanted to. Sadly, the first girl I went out with from there was a keeper and is now my 6 month gf T_T. So. If the "sadly" in that sentence was for real, break up with her, and go after the other fit ladoes on your gym!
No way, she is an awesome girl. I meant I wish I run into girls I was not interested beyond hook ups first, before her.
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On April 10 2015 11:02 Wombat_NI wrote:Pretty shitty lol, visa issues took their toll so am newly single. Kind of not in the mood to really bother with such things atm, have various RL things to sort out and still super gutted with how the last one went. A Brazilian chick who had modelled and was super into games, good luck doing better than that in the near future 
sorry to hear that man
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On April 10 2015 14:12 GreenHorizons wrote:Or just not mired in bullshit gender roles?
Possible but unlikely. Most 21 year old men still look like boys.
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On April 11 2015 01:08 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2015 14:12 GreenHorizons wrote:On April 10 2015 13:50 IgnE wrote:
Yeah she's desperate. Or just not mired in bullshit gender roles? Possible but unlikely. Most 21 year old men still look like boys.
have you ever remotely considered other persons could have other criteria of attractiveness than you have?
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the most fun ive ever had was with straightforward girls
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On April 11 2015 01:08 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2015 14:12 GreenHorizons wrote:On April 10 2015 13:50 IgnE wrote:
Yeah she's desperate. Or just not mired in bullshit gender roles? Possible but unlikely. Most 21 year old men still look like boys.
There are plenty of reasons she could approach him without being desperate. But you can think what you like.
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On April 10 2015 13:50 IgnE wrote:
Yeah she's desperate.
my friends now wife approached him and gave him her number first lol
that is such a dumb thing to say
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Dudes it's not the fact that she approached him. It's the fact that she's in a completely different life stage as a late 20s woman and approached a 21 year old boy.
Secondly arb that is not dispositive. She might have been desperate and still found a willing husband.
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On April 11 2015 06:57 IgnE wrote:
Dudes it's not the fact that she approached him. It's the fact that she's in a completely different life stage as a late 20s woman and approached a 21 year old boy.
Secondly arb that is not dispositive. She might have been desperate and still found a willing husband.
While you may be right that generally people in certain age categories are in certain life stages, that is not always the case.
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On April 11 2015 06:57 IgnE wrote:
Dudes it's not the fact that she approached him. It's the fact that she's in a completely different life stage as a late 20s woman and approached a 21 year old boy.
Secondly arb that is not dispositive. She might have been desperate and still found a willing husband.
Does she have magic brainreading powers to know he was 21? The fact that Dalguno knows she is ~6 years his senior does not mean she knows he is so much younger.
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On April 11 2015 07:30 Impervious wrote:Show nested quote +On April 11 2015 06:57 IgnE wrote:
Dudes it's not the fact that she approached him. It's the fact that she's in a completely different life stage as a late 20s woman and approached a 21 year old boy.
Secondly arb that is not dispositive. She might have been desperate and still found a willing husband. While you may be right that generally people in certain age categories are in certain life stages, that is not always the case.
You are very right but which option do you have your money on?
On April 11 2015 07:34 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On April 11 2015 06:57 IgnE wrote:
Dudes it's not the fact that she approached him. It's the fact that she's in a completely different life stage as a late 20s woman and approached a 21 year old boy.
Secondly arb that is not dispositive. She might have been desperate and still found a willing husband. Does she have magic brainreading powers to know he was 21? The fact that Dalguno knows she is ~6 years his senior does not mean she knows he is so much younger.
Hey you are right too. If Dalguno came in and said, yeah I have a full thick beard and look very mature for my age, then maybe I'd adjust my assessment.
Maybe the real tragedy here is that you guys are dismissing anyone who is desperate as not worth Dalguno's time.
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On April 11 2015 07:35 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On April 11 2015 07:30 Impervious wrote:On April 11 2015 06:57 IgnE wrote:
Dudes it's not the fact that she approached him. It's the fact that she's in a completely different life stage as a late 20s woman and approached a 21 year old boy.
Secondly arb that is not dispositive. She might have been desperate and still found a willing husband. While you may be right that generally people in certain age categories are in certain life stages, that is not always the case. You are very right but which option do you have your money on? Show nested quote +On April 11 2015 07:34 Acrofales wrote:On April 11 2015 06:57 IgnE wrote:
Dudes it's not the fact that she approached him. It's the fact that she's in a completely different life stage as a late 20s woman and approached a 21 year old boy.
Secondly arb that is not dispositive. She might have been desperate and still found a willing husband. Does she have magic brainreading powers to know he was 21? The fact that Dalguno knows she is ~6 years his senior does not mean she knows he is so much younger. Hey you are right too. If Dalguno came in and said, yeah I have a full thick beard and look very mature for my age, then maybe I'd adjust my assessment. Maybe the real tragedy here is that you guys are dismissing anyone who is desperate as not worth Dalguno's time.
I'm not? I don't think if she was "desperate" that means that she isn't a quality woman. I just don't think anything about a woman approaching a younger man warrants the presumption of desperation.
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On April 11 2015 07:35 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On April 11 2015 07:30 Impervious wrote:On April 11 2015 06:57 IgnE wrote:
Dudes it's not the fact that she approached him. It's the fact that she's in a completely different life stage as a late 20s woman and approached a 21 year old boy.
Secondly arb that is not dispositive. She might have been desperate and still found a willing husband. While you may be right that generally people in certain age categories are in certain life stages, that is not always the case. You are very right but which option do you have your money on? Show nested quote +On April 11 2015 07:34 Acrofales wrote:On April 11 2015 06:57 IgnE wrote:
Dudes it's not the fact that she approached him. It's the fact that she's in a completely different life stage as a late 20s woman and approached a 21 year old boy.
Secondly arb that is not dispositive. She might have been desperate and still found a willing husband. Does she have magic brainreading powers to know he was 21? The fact that Dalguno knows she is ~6 years his senior does not mean she knows he is so much younger. Hey you are right too. If Dalguno came in and said, yeah I have a full thick beard and look very mature for my age, then maybe I'd adjust my assessment. Maybe the real tragedy here is that you guys are dismissing anyone who is desperate as not worth Dalguno's time.
Nope, the only real tragedy here is that you want to reinforce your sterotypes and get all weird when you encounter people that do not share them.
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The language barrier is insurmountable, puerk. Or maybe as a German you are incapable of frivolity.
Back to the mewling, "I dunno man, age is just a number, and we shouldn't presume anything about anyone, because like stereotypes suck man."
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EPT
