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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On April 08 2015 01:39 GoTuNk! wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2015 15:14 ticklishmusic wrote:
So I've been pretty accustomed to being forever alone-- I've had relationships and almost-relationships that have ended through little fault of my own. I do often catch myself wishing I'd done something different, that I'd find someone, etc. Anyways, I'm a big romantic. But still, it's a certain sort of stability which is tolerable enough.
Going off my post a coupe days ago: a friend of a good friend came down for spring break-- her sister lives here, she came with some friends as well. We met once over the summer, and that time and this one we hit it off pretty well. There was some mutual attraction this time which I discounted/ didn't act on because she's out of state, but was apparently pretty obvious to my roommate and some of the people we hung out with.
This threw a pretty big wrench into my stable little world of forever aloneness. I'm being forced to kind of think about what if's and potential or missed opportunities. I don't know what's going on with this girl. I need my friend to let me know what she's thinking. Then I can either make a move, unlikely as it it is to succeed, or just shrug it off and return to being forever alone. I'm having trouble sleeping (more so than usual, my insomnia comes from another girl actually, but that's another story). Absolutely exhausted, almost manic or slightly hysterical in social settings.
To top it off, my roommates aren't helping. I told one of them, and well, he honestly has the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. Wasn't much help. Today he comes home to complain because he met a girl at a date party, they hit off well, and then today he was talking to another girl in one of his classes and now has to choose between them. Absolutely insensitive. My other roommate is in a stable relationship which I can't blame him for, but it does add little extra sting to the entire situation. I don't want to be offensive but with that kind of attitude you'll remain on the foreveralone island forever. When you want a girl you hit on her and go after her; not doing a move when you can is a massive turn off for woman. You don't ask other people to intercede for you or stop yourself from going after her because of vague problems that might arise in your imaginary future relationship. You should not be losing sleep over girls or thinking about them in general; what you should do is actually engaging them when you are with them (not think about them afterwards) All of the above is pretty general stuff, but it seems to me your attitude towards woman in general is not conducive to sucess with the other gender as you seem to be needy and unconfident (I might be wrong, this is my impression from your post)
I'm not offended, but I think taken out of context (and there's a decent amount of that) I see why you're drawing that conclusion. I do appreciate the benefit of the doubt you've been giving though!
I guess it's like this: if you discover a treasure map leading to something a couple miles away, then heck why not you go for it. Low risk, pretty high reward. On the other hand, a treasure map says there's something 6 hours away by plane. You'd want a tad more confirmation that there's something there before making the trek. That's the way I see it anyways.
I guess I'm miffed at life hitting one of those spikes of seeming unfairness. Everyone around me seems to be figuring it out and I'm stuck in some weird limbo, or as you put it, foreveralone island.
My last girlfriend passed away from cancer about two years ago. It's kind of hard to forget. The girl after that, well, we decided to put it on hold since she was going abroad and then she came back with a boyfriend. The rest of my experience hasn't been quite as bad, but it's hardly been good.
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On April 08 2015 03:58 Acrofales wrote:SixStrings refusing to be outdone by SoSexy. This thread continues to deliver  For the record, I don't think SoSexy deserved the shitstorm he got for that post of his. He is a creepy dude who is completely lacking in self-reflection, but who are we to tell him he's a horrible human being? This thread is not really here for advice and any advice here needs to be taken with a heavy dose of "it comes from the internet": it's a place to tell your dating stories. SoSexy did exactly that. I don't even believe he was expecting sympathy, just dropping by to vent at something he perceived as unfair (regardless of whether that latter part is true). I thought Puerk's comment was actually spot on and rather funny, but shit just devolved from there (and SoSexy had a good part in that too). I will miss his stories. It was always interesting to read how incredibly weird some people are.
i mean I agree with you in that I enjoy hearing stories from people people, but the sticky says it's a place for advice and sosexy himself said
On April 04 2015 20:24 SoSexy wrote:
I don't come here to brag about my success but only post when looking for suggestions (that is what this thread is about).
judgement free zones are for friends and therapists. expecting that of strangers on the interwebs is silly, especially when you're continually gross and creepy like he was
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On April 08 2015 03:25 SixStrings wrote:
Silver lining: two dates lined up later this week, fingers crossed I can break my gloomy spell and be confident and reasonably fun again.
How?
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On April 08 2015 14:48 ticklishmusic wrote:Show nested quote +On April 08 2015 01:39 GoTuNk! wrote:On April 07 2015 15:14 ticklishmusic wrote:
So I've been pretty accustomed to being forever alone-- I've had relationships and almost-relationships that have ended through little fault of my own. I do often catch myself wishing I'd done something different, that I'd find someone, etc. Anyways, I'm a big romantic. But still, it's a certain sort of stability which is tolerable enough.
Going off my post a coupe days ago: a friend of a good friend came down for spring break-- her sister lives here, she came with some friends as well. We met once over the summer, and that time and this one we hit it off pretty well. There was some mutual attraction this time which I discounted/ didn't act on because she's out of state, but was apparently pretty obvious to my roommate and some of the people we hung out with.
This threw a pretty big wrench into my stable little world of forever aloneness. I'm being forced to kind of think about what if's and potential or missed opportunities. I don't know what's going on with this girl. I need my friend to let me know what she's thinking. Then I can either make a move, unlikely as it it is to succeed, or just shrug it off and return to being forever alone. I'm having trouble sleeping (more so than usual, my insomnia comes from another girl actually, but that's another story). Absolutely exhausted, almost manic or slightly hysterical in social settings.
To top it off, my roommates aren't helping. I told one of them, and well, he honestly has the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. Wasn't much help. Today he comes home to complain because he met a girl at a date party, they hit off well, and then today he was talking to another girl in one of his classes and now has to choose between them. Absolutely insensitive. My other roommate is in a stable relationship which I can't blame him for, but it does add little extra sting to the entire situation. I don't want to be offensive but with that kind of attitude you'll remain on the foreveralone island forever. When you want a girl you hit on her and go after her; not doing a move when you can is a massive turn off for woman. You don't ask other people to intercede for you or stop yourself from going after her because of vague problems that might arise in your imaginary future relationship. You should not be losing sleep over girls or thinking about them in general; what you should do is actually engaging them when you are with them (not think about them afterwards) All of the above is pretty general stuff, but it seems to me your attitude towards woman in general is not conducive to sucess with the other gender as you seem to be needy and unconfident (I might be wrong, this is my impression from your post) I'm not offended, but I think taken out of context (and there's a decent amount of that) I see why you're drawing that conclusion. I do appreciate the benefit of the doubt you've been giving though! I guess it's like this: if you discover a treasure map leading to something a couple miles away, then heck why not you go for it. Low risk, pretty high reward. On the other hand, a treasure map says there's something 6 hours away by plane. You'd want a tad more confirmation that there's something there before making the trek. That's the way I see it anyways. I guess I'm miffed at life hitting one of those spikes of seeming unfairness. Everyone around me seems to be figuring it out and I'm stuck in some weird limbo, or as you put it, foreveralone island. My last girlfriend passed away from cancer about two years ago. It's kind of hard to forget. The girl after that, well, we decided to put it on hold since she was going abroad and then she came back with a boyfriend. The rest of my experience hasn't been quite as bad, but it's hardly been good.
Sorry to hear about ur gf.
My point was that if you didn't hook up with the traveling girl while u were with her. and then arranged a future visit, it's over.
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Well, im not into the whole dating thing. Im more a "Go out in the city to get drunk and ask random girls for numbers " - Type of guy .. but that works out pretty good to.
Its all about talking to them when they are on the medium-drunk girl stage. :D!
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On April 09 2015 22:22 CinderRock wrote:
Well, im not into the whole dating thing. Im more a "Go out in the city to get drunk and ask random girls for numbers " - Type of guy .. but that works out pretty good to.
Its all about talking to them when they are on the medium-drunk girl stage. :D!
which only works, when you are attractive and the gender composition of the club/party is above sausage fest levels 
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On April 09 2015 22:32 puerk wrote:Show nested quote +On April 09 2015 22:22 CinderRock wrote:
Well, im not into the whole dating thing. Im more a "Go out in the city to get drunk and ask random girls for numbers " - Type of guy .. but that works out pretty good to.
Its all about talking to them when they are on the medium-drunk girl stage. :D! which only works, when you are attractive and the gender composition of the club/party is above sausage fest levels
You only have to not be gollum (i.e. take a bath, shave/groom yourself, and dress well) for it to work.
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On April 09 2015 22:43 Ghostcom wrote:Show nested quote +On April 09 2015 22:32 puerk wrote:On April 09 2015 22:22 CinderRock wrote:
Well, im not into the whole dating thing. Im more a "Go out in the city to get drunk and ask random girls for numbers " - Type of guy .. but that works out pretty good to.
Its all about talking to them when they are on the medium-drunk girl stage. :D! which only works, when you are attractive and the gender composition of the club/party is above sausage fest levels You only have to not be gollum (i.e. take a bath, shave/groom yourself, and dress well) for it to work.
i salute your optimism
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On April 09 2015 22:44 puerk wrote:Show nested quote +On April 09 2015 22:43 Ghostcom wrote:On April 09 2015 22:32 puerk wrote:On April 09 2015 22:22 CinderRock wrote:
Well, im not into the whole dating thing. Im more a "Go out in the city to get drunk and ask random girls for numbers " - Type of guy .. but that works out pretty good to.
Its all about talking to them when they are on the medium-drunk girl stage. :D! which only works, when you are attractive and the gender composition of the club/party is above sausage fest levels You only have to not be gollum (i.e. take a bath, shave/groom yourself, and dress well) for it to work. i salute your optimism
- No really it does work  6/10 ROFL
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On April 09 2015 22:22 CinderRock wrote:
Well, im not into the whole dating thing. Im more a "Go out in the city to get drunk and ask random girls for numbers " - Type of guy .. but that works out pretty good to.
Its all about talking to them when they are on the medium-drunk girl stage. :D!
love it
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i still think that approach is not for everyone.
edit: it is my experience that grooming yourself and considering oneself not gollum looking, and from that expecting any success with the members of the prefered gender, is a setup for frustration and disappointment, especially in a party/club/bar setup.
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On April 10 2015 04:23 puerk wrote:
i still think that approach is not for everyone.
edit: it is my experience that grooming yourself and considering oneself not gollum looking, and from that expecting any success with the members of the prefered gender, is a setup for frustration and disappointment, especially in a party/club/bar setup.
All I read here was "my preciousssssss".
Sorry Puerk.
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There's a fine line between staying true to one's self and attempting to "put forward one's best face," so to speak. Not everyone can pull off the same outward character. I definitely think that there are some "Gollums" out there who are best served by figuring out how they can celebrate their Gollumness rather than attempting to look like Legolas, to exhaust the analogy.
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That analogy went a lot further than I ever saw coming o.0
And of course it is not the best way for everyone to do so, but it is possible for the vast majority to pick up a girl in a bar.
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Oh, i guess i was not articulating myself well enough. I do not see any gollumness in my outer appearance, i seem to have other deficiencies.. but those are not really the topic, i just wanted to give my perspective, that expecting success from just going to places where women hang out and speaking to them, can be counterproductive if it ends in disappointment and frustration.
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On April 10 2015 05:39 farvacola wrote:
There's a fine line between staying true to one's self and attempting to "put forward one's best face," so to speak. Not everyone can pull off the same outward character. I definitely think that there are some "Gollums" out there who are best served by figuring out how they can celebrate their Gollumness rather than attempting to look like Legolas, to exhaust the analogy.
I am of the impression that picking girls up at bars is highly limiting for some people (short people for example T_T). It is much easier to find a niche in which you look better, talking to girls there, and sealing the deal at night.
For example, I do my lifting (I am really good at lifting) in a crossfit gym full of hot girls, and I'm under the impression that I could def hit on a few of them if I wanted to. Sadly, the first girl I went out with from there was a keeper and is now my 6 month gf T_T.
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Northern Ireland27201 Posts
Pretty shitty lol, visa issues took their toll so am newly single. Kind of not in the mood to really bother with such things atm, have various RL things to sort out and still super gutted with how the last one went. A Brazilian chick who had modelled and was super into games, good luck doing better than that in the near future 
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So we've discussed the age thing, guy to girl comparison. I was approached by a girl about 6 years my senior today, and she basically gave me her number. So, I'm 21, she's about 26 or 27. There doesn't seem anything wrong with it, other than the fact that she went after me which by some could be interpreted as desperate, but I don't really see anything wrong with that. I appreciate girls who are straight up. We'll see what this is like. ^^
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EPT
