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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 10 2014 16:31 Gotlander wrote:
Wow never knew this kind of thread existed at Teamliquid.
I have never officially been dating a girl... Actually getting a bit worried now as my course requires me to study as if its full time work.
Having a full time job and a girlfriend is really manageable, toughest part is meeting one when you're in that kind of situation, but as a student you tend to have more opportunities
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Met a really cool chick through two mutual friends, she likes to smoke weed, doesn't mind occasionally dropping a tab, and is just all round a really fucking awesome chick and she has the most gorgeous blue eyes. Been talking to her and sending various snapchats all week and flirting a tiny bit, she invited me and my mates to her friends party this evening, she was chatting to my mate earlier today and she said something along the lines of that I better be coming to the party, and he was just messing with her saying stuff like 'ooh, you want him to come hey' etc (high school stuff- you know) the point is she didn't deny any of it nor did she tell him to stop, anyways, I get home and find a message from her and she said 'you better be coming tonight hey' explain i couldn't come due to work commitments, but i would make it up to her as early as next week if she's free and we'll all go out together to which she agreed.
I think she might be a tiny bit interested, i'm going to wait until next week to find out for sure, but in the meantime I'll keep contact with her and doing what i've been doing yeah? what do you guys think?
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I thought that this was a pretty interesting (and funny) TED Talk based on utilizing online dating, and I'm sure some people here use online dating, and might be able to take a bit or two out of this (especially if you're a very analytical and logic-oriented person).
https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating
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On July 12 2014 04:07 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:I thought that this was a pretty interesting (and funny) TED Talk based on utilizing online dating, and I'm sure some people here use online dating, and might be able to take a bit or two out of this (especially if you're a very analytical and logic-oriented person). https://www.ted.com/talks/amy_webb_how_i_hacked_online_dating
didnt we get at least two of this stories before?
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On July 12 2014 04:11 Snotling wrote:didnt we get at least two of this stories before?
Maybe something similar? Not sure... This link doesn't appear anywhere in this thread though, so it's not a repost (I just searched for it... "webb" doesn't appear on any of the previous 517 pages).
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On July 12 2014 04:11 Snotling wrote:didnt we get at least two of this stories before?
Slightly different, there was a guy who created a method of answering okcupid questions to maximize match% with different demographics he was interested in. The thing about his method is that it isn't useful information to us, but this ted talk does give some useful information.
The biggest problem for me with online dating though, is that there are so few (like 5-10 tops) girls that I find both interesting and attractive in my area.
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One of the girls didn't come to the party 
I saved my ass yeahhh ^^
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Or maybe she did come but saw both of you close together that she went nuts and prepared something for you later.
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
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So TL bros it seems I have managed to land myself in another potentially awkward situation.
So I have this new job (for about 3 to 4 months now) and ever since I started I got along with my colleagues just great, but one girl in particular. I started liking her almost right away. We are both very outgoing people and she especially is one of those "naturally flirty" kinds of girls so we have been casually flirting quite a bit. The thing is, considering her nature, the fact that we work very closely together, and the fact that she has no problem keeping a straight face while she is completely messing with you I never took the flirting as anything serious. In fact I was kinda leaning towards just being close friends rather than anything else.
But then all out of the blue shit seems to get serious. I showed her some pictures of my new home and she said something along the lines of switching homes and I replied by saying something like she could move in (hahaha right?). And then the conversation switched to serious (mind you, it was by text). She was asking if I wanted to be lovers or just roommates and that shes not sure about how I feel and asking if we could try. All the while I'm a mix of happy, excited, worried, and mostly completely baffled and unsure if this is another of her practical jokes.
As for now I put off on the texting and told her we should talk about it tonight after work. My main concerns obviously are how this is going to play out at work (whether we decide to go for it or not) and most importantly: do I like here enough to take this risk?
I'm very much a pragmatist TL so I usually try to avoid these kind of situations, but i seemed I landed face first in one anyway. What do you guys think, is this a recipe for disaster? Should I go for it? If I decide to, how would I let her down kindly?
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On July 13 2014 15:34 B.I.G. wrote:
So TL bros it seems I have managed to land myself in another potentially awkward situation.
So I have this new job (for about 3 to 4 months now) and ever since I started I got along with my colleagues just great, but one girl in particular. I started liking her almost right away. We are both very outgoing people and she especially is one of those "naturally flirty" kinds of girls so we have been casually flirting quite a bit. The thing is, considering her nature, the fact that we work very closely together, and the fact that she has no problem keeping a straight face while she is completely messing with you I never took the flirting as anything serious. In fact I was kinda leaning towards just being close friends rather than anything else.
But then all out of the blue shit seems to get serious. I showed her some pictures of my new home and she said something along the lines of switching homes and I replied by saying something like she could move in (hahaha right?). And then the conversation switched to serious (mind you, it was by text). She was asking if I wanted to be lovers or just roommates and that shes not sure about how I feel and asking if we could try. All the while I'm a mix of happy, excited, worried, and mostly completely baffled and unsure if this is another of her practical jokes.
As for now I put off on the texting and told her we should talk about it tonight after work. My main concerns obviously are how this is going to play out at work (whether we decide to go for it or not) and most importantly: do I like here enough to take this risk?
I'm very much a pragmatist TL so I usually try to avoid these kind of situations, but i seemed I landed face first in one anyway. What do you guys think, is this a recipe for disaster? Should I go for it? If I decide to, how would I let her down kindly?
you want to let a girl who you've know for 4 months move into your house?? recipe for disaster, for sure. Tell her you want to keep many doors open because at this point in life you don't want to commit a a single choice.
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Oh sorry, let me clarify: no way in hell am i letting her move in. I was talking about the potential difficulties of dating her.
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On July 13 2014 23:17 B.I.G. wrote:
Oh sorry, let me clarify: no way in hell am i letting her move in. I was talking about the potential difficulties of dating her.
Well then it's up to you and your philosophy of dating. Feel like you want to commit? Do you like her so much that even if there are difficulties you will surmount them?
I can give my 2 cents, but it's just my opinion, and we may differ completely. Date her in a non exclusive way and be clear to her about it.
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I get way too jealous of the "ladies' men". Had a party this weekend and a friend coming from out of town is like that. He invited a hot girl from tinder out and went home with her. Even though I've been having Tinder and dating success myself (which is fairly new for me), I got incredibly jealous. I don't know, probably a combination of her being so cute and him being so good at getting her into him. It got me all worked up even into today. I think the reason I get so jealous is because I see myself as a very physically attractive guy who SHOULD be able to do that, and I'm missing out due to not knowing how to talk to them and not having experience. I guess I need to humble myself as far as what kind of guy girls are going to just want, because it's got to do with more than just looks. A lot more.
But still...I want that so bad.
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On July 14 2014 12:10 Doodsmack wrote:
I get way too jealous of the "ladies' men". Had a party this weekend and a friend coming from out of town is like that. He invited a hot girl from tinder out and went home with her. Even though I've been having Tinder and dating success myself (which is fairly new for me), I got incredibly jealous. I don't know, probably a combination of her being so cute and him being so good at getting her into him. It got me all worked up even into today. I think the reason I get so jealous is because I see myself as a very physically attractive guy who SHOULD be able to do that, and I'm missing out due to not knowing how to talk to them and not having experience. I guess I need to humble myself as far as what kind of guy girls are going to just want, because it's got to do with more than just looks. A lot more.
But still...I want that so bad.
'not knowing how to talk to girls' is a weird mental spiral that I've fallen victim to before. The first thing to remember is that girls are not some weird alien species. most likely they don't speak another language, and though everyone has preferences, just remember that you're talking to a regular person, not some unattainable ideal or anything like that. be natural, calm, and confident and you're golden.
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On July 14 2014 12:21 LeeDawg wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2014 12:10 Doodsmack wrote:
I get way too jealous of the "ladies' men". Had a party this weekend and a friend coming from out of town is like that. He invited a hot girl from tinder out and went home with her. Even though I've been having Tinder and dating success myself (which is fairly new for me), I got incredibly jealous. I don't know, probably a combination of her being so cute and him being so good at getting her into him. It got me all worked up even into today. I think the reason I get so jealous is because I see myself as a very physically attractive guy who SHOULD be able to do that, and I'm missing out due to not knowing how to talk to them and not having experience. I guess I need to humble myself as far as what kind of guy girls are going to just want, because it's got to do with more than just looks. A lot more.
But still...I want that so bad. 'not knowing how to talk to girls' is a weird mental spiral that I've fallen victim to before. The first thing to remember is that girls are not some weird alien species. most likely they don't speak another language, and though everyone has preferences, just remember that you're talking to a regular person, not some unattainable ideal or anything like that. be natural, calm, and confident and you're golden.
I feel like at parties and shit like that you should honestly just spend most of your time lying if you are just looking to get laid.
like dont spin outrageous bullshit but sprinkle some nice lies into your conversation tbh.
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On July 14 2014 13:43 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2014 12:21 LeeDawg wrote:On July 14 2014 12:10 Doodsmack wrote:
I get way too jealous of the "ladies' men". Had a party this weekend and a friend coming from out of town is like that. He invited a hot girl from tinder out and went home with her. Even though I've been having Tinder and dating success myself (which is fairly new for me), I got incredibly jealous. I don't know, probably a combination of her being so cute and him being so good at getting her into him. It got me all worked up even into today. I think the reason I get so jealous is because I see myself as a very physically attractive guy who SHOULD be able to do that, and I'm missing out due to not knowing how to talk to them and not having experience. I guess I need to humble myself as far as what kind of guy girls are going to just want, because it's got to do with more than just looks. A lot more.
But still...I want that so bad. 'not knowing how to talk to girls' is a weird mental spiral that I've fallen victim to before. The first thing to remember is that girls are not some weird alien species. most likely they don't speak another language, and though everyone has preferences, just remember that you're talking to a regular person, not some unattainable ideal or anything like that. be natural, calm, and confident and you're golden. I feel like at parties and shit like that you should honestly just spend most of your time lying if you are just looking to get laid. like dont spin outrageous bullshit but sprinkle some nice lies into your conversation tbh.
I get that logic, but I'm not a 'go out looking to get laid' kind of guy, so my advice is going to be coming from a different place. more of a 'look for someone to connect with' kind of place. I think that, at a bare minimum, it makes the sex more enjoyable, and naturally spending any other time with them better as well...
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On July 14 2014 14:59 LeeDawg wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2014 13:43 arb wrote:On July 14 2014 12:21 LeeDawg wrote:On July 14 2014 12:10 Doodsmack wrote:
I get way too jealous of the "ladies' men". Had a party this weekend and a friend coming from out of town is like that. He invited a hot girl from tinder out and went home with her. Even though I've been having Tinder and dating success myself (which is fairly new for me), I got incredibly jealous. I don't know, probably a combination of her being so cute and him being so good at getting her into him. It got me all worked up even into today. I think the reason I get so jealous is because I see myself as a very physically attractive guy who SHOULD be able to do that, and I'm missing out due to not knowing how to talk to them and not having experience. I guess I need to humble myself as far as what kind of guy girls are going to just want, because it's got to do with more than just looks. A lot more.
But still...I want that so bad. 'not knowing how to talk to girls' is a weird mental spiral that I've fallen victim to before. The first thing to remember is that girls are not some weird alien species. most likely they don't speak another language, and though everyone has preferences, just remember that you're talking to a regular person, not some unattainable ideal or anything like that. be natural, calm, and confident and you're golden. I feel like at parties and shit like that you should honestly just spend most of your time lying if you are just looking to get laid. like dont spin outrageous bullshit but sprinkle some nice lies into your conversation tbh. I get that logic, but I'm not a 'go out looking to get laid' kind of guy, so my advice is going to be coming from a different place. more of a 'look for someone to connect with' kind of place. I think that, at a bare minimum, it makes the sex more enjoyable, and naturally spending any other time with them better as well...
Of course but i mean like i said if youre looking to get laid nothing else then just do that. If its good she'll come back provided you arent dumb enough to not get her number or something(atleast for sex wise lolol) otherwise i'd just keep the truth coming and maybe sprinkle in(very lightly) a few exaggerations here and there imo.
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On July 14 2014 13:43 arb wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2014 12:21 LeeDawg wrote:On July 14 2014 12:10 Doodsmack wrote:
I get way too jealous of the "ladies' men". Had a party this weekend and a friend coming from out of town is like that. He invited a hot girl from tinder out and went home with her. Even though I've been having Tinder and dating success myself (which is fairly new for me), I got incredibly jealous. I don't know, probably a combination of her being so cute and him being so good at getting her into him. It got me all worked up even into today. I think the reason I get so jealous is because I see myself as a very physically attractive guy who SHOULD be able to do that, and I'm missing out due to not knowing how to talk to them and not having experience. I guess I need to humble myself as far as what kind of guy girls are going to just want, because it's got to do with more than just looks. A lot more.
But still...I want that so bad. 'not knowing how to talk to girls' is a weird mental spiral that I've fallen victim to before. The first thing to remember is that girls are not some weird alien species. most likely they don't speak another language, and though everyone has preferences, just remember that you're talking to a regular person, not some unattainable ideal or anything like that. be natural, calm, and confident and you're golden. I feel like at parties and shit like that you should honestly just spend most of your time lying if you are just looking to get laid. like dont spin outrageous bullshit but sprinkle some nice lies into your conversation tbh.
So lie to women for the sole purpose of getting in their pants? That doesn't seem like very good advice imo lol.
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On July 14 2014 16:31 Zooper31 wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2014 13:43 arb wrote:On July 14 2014 12:21 LeeDawg wrote:On July 14 2014 12:10 Doodsmack wrote:
I get way too jealous of the "ladies' men". Had a party this weekend and a friend coming from out of town is like that. He invited a hot girl from tinder out and went home with her. Even though I've been having Tinder and dating success myself (which is fairly new for me), I got incredibly jealous. I don't know, probably a combination of her being so cute and him being so good at getting her into him. It got me all worked up even into today. I think the reason I get so jealous is because I see myself as a very physically attractive guy who SHOULD be able to do that, and I'm missing out due to not knowing how to talk to them and not having experience. I guess I need to humble myself as far as what kind of guy girls are going to just want, because it's got to do with more than just looks. A lot more.
But still...I want that so bad. 'not knowing how to talk to girls' is a weird mental spiral that I've fallen victim to before. The first thing to remember is that girls are not some weird alien species. most likely they don't speak another language, and though everyone has preferences, just remember that you're talking to a regular person, not some unattainable ideal or anything like that. be natural, calm, and confident and you're golden. I feel like at parties and shit like that you should honestly just spend most of your time lying if you are just looking to get laid. like dont spin outrageous bullshit but sprinkle some nice lies into your conversation tbh. So lie to women for the sole purpose of getting in their pants? That doesn't seem like very good advice imo lol.
If that is your main goal yeah i would tbh. If you have no intention of doing anything beyond having sex with them then go for it.
Otherwise just be honest and up front obviously
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I just thought I'd give an update on my story, since you guys have been so helpful.
I worked with her on Saturday. Was really busy and I was trying all day to get some alone time with her but it never happened. Deciding that she's far too popular to wait another week I asked her out on facebook instead. She went "yes, but I have very little time yada yada". I was already ready to accept that she's probably not interested but just scared to say no, when I went out with a friend (whose girlfriend is bff with the girl I asked out). He told me he overheard my crush talking to his gf about how she's unsure she should go out with me because of the age difference, and that she had to think about it. Since my colleague is a true bro he put in a good word for me.
I guess I'll give her some time to think about the situation and realise that she's curious enough to at least give that first date a go. All things considered this could have gone better, but I'm still pretty ok with the outcome. At least I feel better now than when I thought her somewhat detached responses when asking her out were disinterest.
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EPT
