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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
June 30 2014 20:07 GMT
#10161
On June 30 2014 10:57 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 30 2014 08:53 Acrofales wrote:
On June 30 2014 08:35 Najda wrote:
On June 30 2014 08:03 Acrofales wrote:
On June 30 2014 07:56 Najda wrote:
So sort of a dumb question that I know I'm overthinking, how do I go about getting a second date? Went on a first date with a girl, sort of just a "get to know eachother" sort of thing, walked around on the beach for a bit and got some ice cream. She seems interesting enough that a second date would be worth it but I'm terrible at texting and don't really know how to arrange it. She said she is busy all week working but wants to hang out again but left it kind of open.

There's this amazing invention called the telephone. The newest ones can even be used without a cable. You can click buttons to dial a number and will be automatically connected, after which you can talk to the other person without needing to be anywhere near. It's awesome.


I hardly ever even call my friends let alone someone I barely know. Just seem awkward to me not really knowing if they are in a position to stop what they are doing to talk on the phone.

Maybe I'm too old or something, but not having time to talk on the phone is not a new problem... and people are generally capable of either not picking up (and then optionally texting an apology) or picking up and saying they're busy and whether you can please call again in a minute/hour/whatever.

Voice is just so much more personal than texting, and if you are interested in her, you want this to be personal.


Eh you're probably right. If a phonecall is what ends my relationship with this girl then she clearly wasn't very into me anyway. Might as well get some more experience. I just wish I knew what times she worked so I could at least avoid that.


Well I called but the fact that I have no idea how to have a conversation on the phone was probably apparent. I must have done well on the first date because despite the minute call she agreed to see me again. and then I awkwardly hung up. oh well.
Titusmaster6
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States5937 Posts
June 30 2014 20:19 GMT
#10162
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Legit. You never YOLO twice
Shorts down shorts up, BOOM, just like that.
arb
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Noobville17921 Posts
June 30 2014 21:55 GMT
#10163
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.

I can literally never grow balls and talk to someone like that randomly in person lolol.
Despite knowing the worst they could tell me is no if i ask them out :/
Artillery spawned from the forges of Hell
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44993 Posts
June 30 2014 22:30 GMT
#10164
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
July 01 2014 06:07 GMT
#10165
On July 01 2014 07:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear


I don't know. If you have to build up the courage to ask a girl on a second date it doesn't seem like the first date went that well.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States44993 Posts
July 01 2014 12:05 GMT
#10166
On July 01 2014 15:07 IgnE wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2014 07:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear


I don't know. If you have to build up the courage to ask a girl on a second date it doesn't seem like the first date went that well.


I know a lot of people who are just always shy... one successful date won't turn them into some super-confident macho man
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
July 01 2014 14:16 GMT
#10167
On July 01 2014 15:07 IgnE wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2014 07:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear


I don't know. If you have to build up the courage to ask a girl on a second date it doesn't seem like the first date went that well.


More to lose and it happens less often than first dates so less experience in doing it.
Acrofales
Profile Joined August 2010
Spain18106 Posts
July 02 2014 01:53 GMT
#10168
On July 01 2014 05:07 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 30 2014 10:57 Najda wrote:
On June 30 2014 08:53 Acrofales wrote:
On June 30 2014 08:35 Najda wrote:
On June 30 2014 08:03 Acrofales wrote:
On June 30 2014 07:56 Najda wrote:
So sort of a dumb question that I know I'm overthinking, how do I go about getting a second date? Went on a first date with a girl, sort of just a "get to know eachother" sort of thing, walked around on the beach for a bit and got some ice cream. She seems interesting enough that a second date would be worth it but I'm terrible at texting and don't really know how to arrange it. She said she is busy all week working but wants to hang out again but left it kind of open.

There's this amazing invention called the telephone. The newest ones can even be used without a cable. You can click buttons to dial a number and will be automatically connected, after which you can talk to the other person without needing to be anywhere near. It's awesome.


I hardly ever even call my friends let alone someone I barely know. Just seem awkward to me not really knowing if they are in a position to stop what they are doing to talk on the phone.

Maybe I'm too old or something, but not having time to talk on the phone is not a new problem... and people are generally capable of either not picking up (and then optionally texting an apology) or picking up and saying they're busy and whether you can please call again in a minute/hour/whatever.

Voice is just so much more personal than texting, and if you are interested in her, you want this to be personal.


Eh you're probably right. If a phonecall is what ends my relationship with this girl then she clearly wasn't very into me anyway. Might as well get some more experience. I just wish I knew what times she worked so I could at least avoid that.


Well I called but the fact that I have no idea how to have a conversation on the phone was probably apparent. I must have done well on the first date because despite the minute call she agreed to see me again. and then I awkwardly hung up. oh well.


Well, if she likes you, she was probably just as nervous about talking to you. It's part of the fun. Those fluttery moments! Gratz
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
July 02 2014 01:58 GMT
#10169
On July 01 2014 23:16 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2014 15:07 IgnE wrote:
On July 01 2014 07:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear


I don't know. If you have to build up the courage to ask a girl on a second date it doesn't seem like the first date went that well.


More to lose and it happens less often than first dates so less experience in doing it.


How is there more to lose? You lose nothing by asking, whereas you might lose something by not asking.

It's super easy to just fire off a text, "hey do you want to do X this thursday?" with someone's number that you already have. If you are scared to do it, you probably didn't kiss her on the first date and you apparently didn't get any feedback. If that's the case you probably blew it anyway.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
Xiphos
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada7507 Posts
July 02 2014 02:54 GMT
#10170
On July 02 2014 10:58 IgnE wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2014 23:16 Najda wrote:
On July 01 2014 15:07 IgnE wrote:
On July 01 2014 07:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear


I don't know. If you have to build up the courage to ask a girl on a second date it doesn't seem like the first date went that well.


More to lose and it happens less often than first dates so less experience in doing it.


How is there more to lose? You lose nothing by asking, whereas you might lose something by not asking.

It's super easy to just fire off a text, "hey do you want to do X this thursday?" with someone's number that you already have. If you are scared to do it, you probably didn't kiss her on the first date and you apparently didn't get any feedback. If that's the case you probably blew it anyway.


Yep totally agree to that.

Anyone who doesn't is just plain naive.
2014 - ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ Raise your bows brood warriors! ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
July 02 2014 03:06 GMT
#10171
On July 02 2014 10:58 IgnE wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 01 2014 23:16 Najda wrote:
On July 01 2014 15:07 IgnE wrote:
On July 01 2014 07:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear


I don't know. If you have to build up the courage to ask a girl on a second date it doesn't seem like the first date went that well.


More to lose and it happens less often than first dates so less experience in doing it.


How is there more to lose? You lose nothing by asking, whereas you might lose something by not asking.

It's super easy to just fire off a text, "hey do you want to do X this thursday?" with someone's number that you already have. If you are scared to do it, you probably didn't kiss her on the first date and you apparently didn't get any feedback. If that's the case you probably blew it anyway.


More to lose because now you've actually invested some time into this girl and actually like her for tangible reasons hence the second date. Assuming the first date went well, yeah you are much less likely to lose it, but there are certainly wrong things you could do between the first and second date that would mess things up.

I agree it isn't hard, and like I posted earlier it's easy to over-think it, especially if you have little experience in the situation.
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
July 02 2014 03:18 GMT
#10172
On July 02 2014 12:06 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 02 2014 10:58 IgnE wrote:
On July 01 2014 23:16 Najda wrote:
On July 01 2014 15:07 IgnE wrote:
On July 01 2014 07:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear


I don't know. If you have to build up the courage to ask a girl on a second date it doesn't seem like the first date went that well.


More to lose and it happens less often than first dates so less experience in doing it.


How is there more to lose? You lose nothing by asking, whereas you might lose something by not asking.

It's super easy to just fire off a text, "hey do you want to do X this thursday?" with someone's number that you already have. If you are scared to do it, you probably didn't kiss her on the first date and you apparently didn't get any feedback. If that's the case you probably blew it anyway.


More to lose because now you've actually invested some time into this girl and actually like her for tangible reasons hence the second date. Assuming the first date went well, yeah you are much less likely to lose it, but there are certainly wrong things you could do between the first and second date that would mess things up.

I agree it isn't hard, and like I posted earlier it's easy to over-think it, especially if you have little experience in the situation.


I disagree very strongly that there are things you can do between the first and second date to screw it up before the second date even happens. Sure there are things you can do to screw it up, like leaving 50 voicemails, sending fucked up texts, or stalking the girl. But assuming even remotely normal behavior, what happened on the first date is far and away the most important factor.
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
July 02 2014 05:02 GMT
#10173
On July 02 2014 12:18 IgnE wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 02 2014 12:06 Najda wrote:
On July 02 2014 10:58 IgnE wrote:
On July 01 2014 23:16 Najda wrote:
On July 01 2014 15:07 IgnE wrote:
On July 01 2014 07:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear


I don't know. If you have to build up the courage to ask a girl on a second date it doesn't seem like the first date went that well.


More to lose and it happens less often than first dates so less experience in doing it.


How is there more to lose? You lose nothing by asking, whereas you might lose something by not asking.

It's super easy to just fire off a text, "hey do you want to do X this thursday?" with someone's number that you already have. If you are scared to do it, you probably didn't kiss her on the first date and you apparently didn't get any feedback. If that's the case you probably blew it anyway.


More to lose because now you've actually invested some time into this girl and actually like her for tangible reasons hence the second date. Assuming the first date went well, yeah you are much less likely to lose it, but there are certainly wrong things you could do between the first and second date that would mess things up.

I agree it isn't hard, and like I posted earlier it's easy to over-think it, especially if you have little experience in the situation.


I disagree very strongly that there are things you can do between the first and second date to screw it up before the second date even happens. Sure there are things you can do to screw it up, like leaving 50 voicemails, sending fucked up texts, or stalking the girl. But assuming even remotely normal behavior, what happened on the first date is far and away the most important factor.


Oh for sure I agree, in the case that the first date only went moderately well though, or if it was just sort of a quick meet like just having coffee meeting first time off of online dating or something, then the conversation between dates matters more.
Xiphos
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada7507 Posts
July 02 2014 16:14 GMT
#10174
On July 02 2014 14:02 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 02 2014 12:18 IgnE wrote:
On July 02 2014 12:06 Najda wrote:
On July 02 2014 10:58 IgnE wrote:
On July 01 2014 23:16 Najda wrote:
On July 01 2014 15:07 IgnE wrote:
On July 01 2014 07:30 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
On July 01 2014 04:44 DinoMight wrote:
Honestly I've never had much luck with dating in the traditional sense. Asking a girl out, going on a date etc. I do pretty well with friends of friends that I meet at social gatherings / events, whatever. The difference is the former forces you out of your comfort zone, while the latter puts you in it. It takes a lot of... courage... to ask a stranger out on a date after a few minutes of talking to them. That's not something that comes easily. But the worst they can say is no, and then you're right back where you started.

So lately I've been going super YOLO mode and I asked out this girl that I met randomly once and then ran into on the subway again. And she said yes.

I have no idea where it will go from here but I'm going to try and keep up the #YOLO. Literally just asked her out on a 2nd date, after spending all morning trying to build up the courage. We'll see.


Congrats! That's awesome to hear


I don't know. If you have to build up the courage to ask a girl on a second date it doesn't seem like the first date went that well.


More to lose and it happens less often than first dates so less experience in doing it.


How is there more to lose? You lose nothing by asking, whereas you might lose something by not asking.

It's super easy to just fire off a text, "hey do you want to do X this thursday?" with someone's number that you already have. If you are scared to do it, you probably didn't kiss her on the first date and you apparently didn't get any feedback. If that's the case you probably blew it anyway.


More to lose because now you've actually invested some time into this girl and actually like her for tangible reasons hence the second date. Assuming the first date went well, yeah you are much less likely to lose it, but there are certainly wrong things you could do between the first and second date that would mess things up.

I agree it isn't hard, and like I posted earlier it's easy to over-think it, especially if you have little experience in the situation.


I disagree very strongly that there are things you can do between the first and second date to screw it up before the second date even happens. Sure there are things you can do to screw it up, like leaving 50 voicemails, sending fucked up texts, or stalking the girl. But assuming even remotely normal behavior, what happened on the first date is far and away the most important factor.


Oh for sure I agree, in the case that the first date only went moderately well though, or if it was just sort of a quick meet like just having coffee meeting first time off of online dating or something, then the conversation between dates matters more.


Personally, I like to squeeze as much topics as possible on the first date. And if the date and I stumble upon a topic of our both interests, then we delve deeper into it.

Think about it as a balance. Its depth of the topic vs number of the topics. Plot it in X and Y graph. The more the line of the graph approaches Y = X and if the graph have a longer domain and range, , the more interesting the date was.

Now the question you have to ask yourself, how many topics was brought up? How in depth were they? And since a date is a give and take, how much were the topics/depth elongated by her and by you? If the ratio is heavily skewed on your side, that means the girl is either too tired or just not that smart. Then you have to ask yourself if you keep want to keep dating the person or not.

But knowing that NOTHING is perfect and that you can't expect any date to go perfectly balanced of topic, depth, same conversation ratio, etc. etc., there is ALWAYS a person in a relationship that gives MORE than what is RECEIVED. So you gotta choose which sides of the leverage you want to be.
2014 - ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ Raise your bows brood warriors! ᕙ( •̀ل͜•́) ϡ
VayneAuthority
Profile Joined October 2012
United States8983 Posts
July 02 2014 19:12 GMT
#10175
this thread got taken over by a secret brotherhood of trolls, just lock it
I come in for the scraps
Najda
Profile Joined June 2010
United States3765 Posts
July 02 2014 19:20 GMT
#10176
On July 03 2014 04:12 VayneAuthority wrote:
this thread got taken over by a secret brotherhood of trolls, just lock it


Eh it comes and goes; the last page has been fine at least.
IgnE
Profile Joined November 2010
United States7681 Posts
July 02 2014 19:50 GMT
#10177
On July 03 2014 04:12 VayneAuthority wrote:
this thread got taken over by a secret brotherhood of trolls, just lock it


What does it matter to you?
The unrealistic sound of these propositions is indicative, not of their utopian character, but of the strength of the forces which prevent their realization.
SixStrings
Profile Blog Joined August 2013
Germany2046 Posts
July 02 2014 21:59 GMT
#10178
The internet has really failed me.

I think it was you guys who advocated that stupid numbers game and it has gotten me pretty much nowhere.
After my 'breakup' in January, I went into full #yoloswag mode, got a Tinder and OKCupid profile, made myself talk to every girl I fancied (except the ones I with whom I go to class) and now I'm out of ideas.

This is where your stupid numbers game leads to, and I fond it only appropriate to express my frustration in numbers:
-24 first dates
-22 first intercourses
-10 or so second intercourses
-1 girl I like
-0 mutual 'likages'
-0 new friends
-0 progress towards a meaningful relationship whatsoever.


This isn't working. I'm unhappy, I feel alone and I don't feel that when I'm focussing on myself I'm cultivating a very likable person.

I thought of writing the one girl I like a letter and ask her to meet me again, but I wouldn't really now what to write.
'Hey, I've met a bunch of girls are you're my favourite of the lot, want to go exclusive?'
Ahzz
Profile Joined May 2007
Finland780 Posts
July 02 2014 23:00 GMT
#10179
Lol, numbers game is failing you?

You got _24_ first dates. Both of you had SOME mutual interest for those 24 dates to have happened. But obviously after that its a numbers game too, right?
Perhaps, instead of numbers game failing you, you weren't able to create any connection besides the initial attraction. Perhaps that's an area you need to work on. After all, you had 24 chances, of which some may have been bad to begin with to your credit. Blaming the system for not playing you a royal flush and only got a flush instead sounds pretty stupid. Perhaps your yoloswagmode that you were so proud of made you incapable and indifferent to investing in girls you may have liked. Who knows honestly.

Or perhaps this is a subtle brag. I really don't know if you're serious or not with all of your posts. First you tell semi-brag stories and make yourself out to be a huge dick. People call you out on it, and you say you were just joking. Then you make replies where you supposedly need help while making sure you make it clear you got mad game. Is this supposed to be serious or another joke? If it's serious, anyone could quote half a dozen things you yourself wrote that could make you unhappy or show why things don't work out. If it's a joke, the top note of the thread clearly says to leave that shit out of here.

meh, while I don't post in this thread much, I would miss this if it got closed. There's ton of great advice thrown around (along with bad ones) and I personally feel I've learned a lot from many insightful replies.
Dirt McGirt
Profile Joined March 2011
New Zealand129 Posts
July 02 2014 23:04 GMT
#10180
On July 03 2014 04:20 Najda wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 03 2014 04:12 VayneAuthority wrote:
this thread got taken over by a secret brotherhood of trolls, just lock it


Eh it comes and goes; the last page has been fine at least.


Agree entirely - there is some great stuff and super honest stories in alongside the trolling. As a married man (went out for ages before getting married) I would freak out if I had to return to dating. Although dating here in NZ is a bit different to the US culture... or it was back in the day when dating was something I was doing!!

Seems really easy for people to second guess themselves about attraction, lust, and what they think their dream partner would be like. I think there are many people out there in the world that you could fall in love with and have a great life together - but it's finding those people and the timing of when you meet them that makes things hard.

I met my wife after breaking up with a long-term girlfriend at school (secondary school) and just starting university (college). Had an awesome rapport and she was (and still is) smoking hot. But I freaked a bit as it seemed scary to want to jump straight back into what looked like another long-term relationship. Really glad that while we had a few issues early on (me being a dick basically) that things worked out.

Could have gone the other way and who knows what life would be like now!! I find that the really trippy part - but those of you that are still looking and/or finding it really hard to put yourselves out there should keep trucking. 'Being yourself' can be hard when you feel like you are still trying to figure that out, but if you do your best to be honest with people around you and yourself you are starting from a good place imo.





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