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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 03 2014 06:59 SixStrings wrote:
The internet has really failed me.
I think it was you guys who advocated that stupid numbers game and it has gotten me pretty much nowhere.
After my 'breakup' in January, I went into full #yoloswag mode, got a Tinder and OKCupid profile, made myself talk to every girl I fancied (except the ones I with whom I go to class) and now I'm out of ideas.
This is where your stupid numbers game leads to, and I fond it only appropriate to express my frustration in numbers:
-24 first dates
-22 first intercourses
-10 or so second intercourses
-1 girl I like
-0 mutual 'likages'
-0 new friends
-0 progress towards a meaningful relationship whatsoever.
This isn't working. I'm unhappy, I feel alone and I don't feel that when I'm focussing on myself I'm cultivating a very likable person.
I thought of writing the one girl I like a letter and ask her to meet me again, but I wouldn't really now what to write.
'Hey, I've met a bunch of girls are you're my favourite of the lot, want to go exclusive?'
Perhaps if you didn't fuck 22/24 of them on the first date you might've made some friends or even started a real relationship with a few.
Not sure if brag post or not.
I don't know how many dates you expected to have from online dating but you've alrdy blown that number up. You've got no idea how hard it is to get 24 girls to say yes to meet up and have a date from meeting online... If you couldn't make it work with any of them then something has to be wrong on your end when the dates started/ended tbh.
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On July 03 2014 08:00 Ahzz wrote:
Lol, numbers game is failing you?
You got _24_ first dates. Both of you had SOME mutual interest for those 24 dates to have happened. But obviously after that its a numbers game too, right?
Perhaps, instead of numbers game failing you, you weren't able to create any connection besides the initial attraction. Perhaps that's an area you need to work on. After all, you had 24 chances, of which some may have been bad to begin with to your credit. Blaming the system for not playing you a royal flush and only got a flush instead sounds pretty stupid. Perhaps your yoloswagmode that you were so proud of made you incapable and indifferent to investing in girls you may have liked. Who knows honestly.
Or perhaps this is a subtle brag. I really don't know if you're serious or not with all of your posts. First you tell semi-brag stories and make yourself out to be a huge dick. People call you out on it, and you say you were just joking. Then you make replies where you supposedly need help while making sure you make it clear you got mad game. Is this supposed to be serious or another joke? If it's serious, anyone could quote half a dozen things you yourself wrote that could make you unhappy or show why things don't work out. If it's a joke, the top note of the thread clearly says to leave that shit out of here.
meh, while I don't post in this thread much, I would miss this if it got closed. There's ton of great advice thrown around (along with bad ones) and I personally feel I've learned a lot from many insightful replies.
24x dates and 22x sex. I think thats a more telling statistic then just the first dates.
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On July 03 2014 08:50 Gorsameth wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 08:00 Ahzz wrote:
Lol, numbers game is failing you?
You got _24_ first dates. Both of you had SOME mutual interest for those 24 dates to have happened. But obviously after that its a numbers game too, right?
Perhaps, instead of numbers game failing you, you weren't able to create any connection besides the initial attraction. Perhaps that's an area you need to work on. After all, you had 24 chances, of which some may have been bad to begin with to your credit. Blaming the system for not playing you a royal flush and only got a flush instead sounds pretty stupid. Perhaps your yoloswagmode that you were so proud of made you incapable and indifferent to investing in girls you may have liked. Who knows honestly.
Or perhaps this is a subtle brag. I really don't know if you're serious or not with all of your posts. First you tell semi-brag stories and make yourself out to be a huge dick. People call you out on it, and you say you were just joking. Then you make replies where you supposedly need help while making sure you make it clear you got mad game. Is this supposed to be serious or another joke? If it's serious, anyone could quote half a dozen things you yourself wrote that could make you unhappy or show why things don't work out. If it's a joke, the top note of the thread clearly says to leave that shit out of here.
meh, while I don't post in this thread much, I would miss this if it got closed. There's ton of great advice thrown around (along with bad ones) and I personally feel I've learned a lot from many insightful replies. 24x dates and 22x sex. I think thats a more telling statistic then just the first dates.
the more interesting part is that he got that 22x sex because of the internet, i always thought i was surrounded by 15 year old virgins in the www.
actual advise: if you want to get in a serious relationship i´d say dont fuck 22 girls in 6 months.
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"The internet has really failed me."
I think it was you guys who advocated that stupid numbers game and it has gotten me pretty much nowhere."
Also not sure if brag post. But if it is serious, how about you start by taking some responsibility for where you're at. Blaming the internet (of all things), or us (which is surprising since most of the posters aren't fans of your sexploits...) is pretty juvenile. If you're serious about it you should be asking yourself why you have a revolving door of women you can't connect with. All that sex might be a factor...
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Hey gents what would you do if you opened the door to your 19 year old sisters bedroom and found a guy spooning her (both fully clothed).
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On July 03 2014 09:58 Adrian_mx wrote:
Hey gents what would you do if you opened the door to your 19 year old sisters bedroom and found a guy spooning her (both fully clothed).
Close the door again and apologize when she comes out/next time you see her for barging into her private space?
She's a grown-up woman ffs.
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On July 03 2014 08:22 Zooper31 wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 06:59 SixStrings wrote:
The internet has really failed me.
I think it was you guys who advocated that stupid numbers game and it has gotten me pretty much nowhere.
After my 'breakup' in January, I went into full #yoloswag mode, got a Tinder and OKCupid profile, made myself talk to every girl I fancied (except the ones I with whom I go to class) and now I'm out of ideas.
This is where your stupid numbers game leads to, and I fond it only appropriate to express my frustration in numbers:
-24 first dates
-22 first intercourses
-10 or so second intercourses
-1 girl I like
-0 mutual 'likages'
-0 new friends
-0 progress towards a meaningful relationship whatsoever.
This isn't working. I'm unhappy, I feel alone and I don't feel that when I'm focussing on myself I'm cultivating a very likable person.
I thought of writing the one girl I like a letter and ask her to meet me again, but I wouldn't really now what to write.
'Hey, I've met a bunch of girls are you're my favourite of the lot, want to go exclusive?' Perhaps if you didn't fuck 22/24 of them on the first date you might've made some friends or even started a real relationship with a few. Not sure if brag post or not. I don't know how many dates you expected to have from online dating but you've alrdy blown that number up. You've got no idea how hard it is to get 24 girls to say yes to meet up and have a date from meeting online... If you couldn't make it work with any of them then something has to be wrong on your end when the dates started/ended tbh.
What is with this fetishization of sex on the first date? Why can't you get to know someone after having sex with them?
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On July 03 2014 10:02 Acrofales wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 09:58 Adrian_mx wrote:
Hey gents what would you do if you opened the door to your 19 year old sisters bedroom and found a guy spooning her (both fully clothed). Close the door again and apologize when she comes out/next time you see her for barging into her private space? She's a grown-up woman ffs.
Hmm, thats an interesting point
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On July 03 2014 11:11 Adrian_mx wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 10:02 Acrofales wrote:On July 03 2014 09:58 Adrian_mx wrote:
Hey gents what would you do if you opened the door to your 19 year old sisters bedroom and found a guy spooning her (both fully clothed). Close the door again and apologize when she comes out/next time you see her for barging into her private space? She's a grown-up woman ffs. Hmm, thats an interesting point
I would go as far as saying that that's the only sensible point of view, in my opinion.
After the age of 16, I'd have been pissed off as fuck if somebody had come into my room without knocking at the door.
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On July 03 2014 11:22 Ektor Baboden wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 11:11 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 03 2014 10:02 Acrofales wrote:On July 03 2014 09:58 Adrian_mx wrote:
Hey gents what would you do if you opened the door to your 19 year old sisters bedroom and found a guy spooning her (both fully clothed). Close the door again and apologize when she comes out/next time you see her for barging into her private space? She's a grown-up woman ffs. Hmm, thats an interesting point I would go as far as saying that that's the only sensible point of view, in my opinion. After the age of 16, I'd have been pissed off as fuck if somebody had come into my room without knocking at the door.
Shes a girl and I forgot to mention fellas, this guy is a random she never introduced me before bringing him over. Thats pretty disrespectful. I have always introduced my lady friends to my family before ever having them sleepover. It would be totally different if she introduced me and asked etc. Just a sign of respect.
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On July 03 2014 11:30 Adrian_mx wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 11:22 Ektor Baboden wrote:On July 03 2014 11:11 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 03 2014 10:02 Acrofales wrote:On July 03 2014 09:58 Adrian_mx wrote:
Hey gents what would you do if you opened the door to your 19 year old sisters bedroom and found a guy spooning her (both fully clothed). Close the door again and apologize when she comes out/next time you see her for barging into her private space? She's a grown-up woman ffs. Hmm, thats an interesting point I would go as far as saying that that's the only sensible point of view, in my opinion. After the age of 16, I'd have been pissed off as fuck if somebody had come into my room without knocking at the door. Shes a girl and I forgot to mention fellas, this guy is a random she never introduced me before bringing him over. Thats pretty disrespectful. I have always introduced my lady friends to my family before ever having them sleepover. It would be totally different if she introduced me and asked etc. Just a sign of respect.
You are absolutely right.
You need to protect the household.
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On July 03 2014 11:32 Xiphos wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 11:30 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 03 2014 11:22 Ektor Baboden wrote:On July 03 2014 11:11 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 03 2014 10:02 Acrofales wrote:On July 03 2014 09:58 Adrian_mx wrote:
Hey gents what would you do if you opened the door to your 19 year old sisters bedroom and found a guy spooning her (both fully clothed). Close the door again and apologize when she comes out/next time you see her for barging into her private space? She's a grown-up woman ffs. Hmm, thats an interesting point I would go as far as saying that that's the only sensible point of view, in my opinion. After the age of 16, I'd have been pissed off as fuck if somebody had come into my room without knocking at the door. Shes a girl and I forgot to mention fellas, this guy is a random she never introduced me before bringing him over. Thats pretty disrespectful. I have always introduced my lady friends to my family before ever having them sleepover. It would be totally different if she introduced me and asked etc. Just a sign of respect. You are absolutely right. You need to protect the household.
I was pretty upset, but I held it like a man and told him to get out
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On July 03 2014 11:38 Adrian_mx wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 11:32 Xiphos wrote:On July 03 2014 11:30 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 03 2014 11:22 Ektor Baboden wrote:On July 03 2014 11:11 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 03 2014 10:02 Acrofales wrote:On July 03 2014 09:58 Adrian_mx wrote:
Hey gents what would you do if you opened the door to your 19 year old sisters bedroom and found a guy spooning her (both fully clothed). Close the door again and apologize when she comes out/next time you see her for barging into her private space? She's a grown-up woman ffs. Hmm, thats an interesting point I would go as far as saying that that's the only sensible point of view, in my opinion. After the age of 16, I'd have been pissed off as fuck if somebody had come into my room without knocking at the door. Shes a girl and I forgot to mention fellas, this guy is a random she never introduced me before bringing him over. Thats pretty disrespectful. I have always introduced my lady friends to my family before ever having them sleepover. It would be totally different if she introduced me and asked etc. Just a sign of respect. You are absolutely right. You need to protect the household. I was pretty upset, but I held it like a man and told him to get out
Lol. U R trolling right?
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That's pretty dumb, Adrian. If I barged in on my sister spooning or fooling around with another person I would be the one apologizing. Something's off with you.
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On July 03 2014 11:42 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 11:38 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 03 2014 11:32 Xiphos wrote:On July 03 2014 11:30 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 03 2014 11:22 Ektor Baboden wrote:On July 03 2014 11:11 Adrian_mx wrote:On July 03 2014 10:02 Acrofales wrote:On July 03 2014 09:58 Adrian_mx wrote:
Hey gents what would you do if you opened the door to your 19 year old sisters bedroom and found a guy spooning her (both fully clothed). Close the door again and apologize when she comes out/next time you see her for barging into her private space? She's a grown-up woman ffs. Hmm, thats an interesting point I would go as far as saying that that's the only sensible point of view, in my opinion. After the age of 16, I'd have been pissed off as fuck if somebody had come into my room without knocking at the door. Shes a girl and I forgot to mention fellas, this guy is a random she never introduced me before bringing him over. Thats pretty disrespectful. I have always introduced my lady friends to my family before ever having them sleepover. It would be totally different if she introduced me and asked etc. Just a sign of respect. You are absolutely right. You need to protect the household. I was pretty upset, but I held it like a man and told him to get out Lol. U R trolling right?
Assuming that his father isn't present at the time. He is the man of the household. He needs to manage it well in the absence of the father figure.
Its akin to telling your kids to stop eating too much sugar stuff because its bad for his/her health.
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she is 19 yrs old
Adrian is obviously a tool
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Iunno if yall are trolling or not but thats pretty messed up if you guys are fine with that. Sure i can see that if shes 21+ but at 19 years old shes still a kid and definetly not mature seeing how she doesnt even bother to introduce him to the family first so we can get to know him.
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Nope, she's not a kid. Nope, she doesn't have to introduce him.
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On July 03 2014 11:52 ROOTFayth wrote:
she is 19 yrs old
Adrian is obviously a tool
I think apologizing to her is appropriate but I'd be damned if anyone is bringing a stranger into my house and potentially letting him/her sleep under my roof without at least informing me and introducing me. I don't give a shit if she is 21. She want's to bring strangers into a house it can be her house full of her expensive, easy to pawn shit. Or go to his house.
As far as the cuddling part yeah that's none of your business really, but a stranger in your house, yeah that's a legitimate reason to be upset.
I don't know your sister but I know plenty of my friends sisters who brought home total wastoids who would steal shit if they got the chance (some did) so they were regularly kicking out real dirtbags. I'm sure some of them were decent guys, but if she didn't think they could at least fake being a decent human being long enough for an introduction they sure as hell weren't going to be sleeping under the same roof as my friends. (Realized this seemed a bit one-sided, for the record it happened with younger brothers getting the same treatment from their older sisters.)
EDIT: I guess in nicer/safer places this is less of a concern? Around where I grew up it was pretty well understood if the homeowner/responsible adult (determined by homeowner) didn't know the person, then they weren't allowed in the house while people are sleeping/away.
PS: That went for friends and/or partners
As for the first date sex it really depends. Age is a huge factor. If you're 18 you probably are not going to have a very good chance getting to know someone after sex, if your 25ish+ it's probably not as much of an obstacle (probably not either of your first rodeo's)
If I had to guess why 22 of 24 women had sex on the first date but none of them worked out is that the guy is generally attractive but by the end of the night he is either bad in bed, a jerk, or a dimwit.
I mean this in the least disrespectful way possible but based on the posts I'm leaning toward the last two.
If you got to know them enough to go on date and 12 of them on a second date/session and only 1 caught your interest the problem is almost definitely on your end. Could be tons of things so I wont continue to speculate unless you want to provide more details about why you slept with girls and didn't end up on a second date.
(After typing that response I'm almost sure it's a troll/not so humble brag. If this person is genuinely looking for a relationship they should probably start with a professional counselor or something, because they are doing it all wrong).
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On July 03 2014 10:13 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On July 03 2014 08:22 Zooper31 wrote:On July 03 2014 06:59 SixStrings wrote:
The internet has really failed me.
I think it was you guys who advocated that stupid numbers game and it has gotten me pretty much nowhere.
After my 'breakup' in January, I went into full #yoloswag mode, got a Tinder and OKCupid profile, made myself talk to every girl I fancied (except the ones I with whom I go to class) and now I'm out of ideas.
This is where your stupid numbers game leads to, and I fond it only appropriate to express my frustration in numbers:
-24 first dates
-22 first intercourses
-10 or so second intercourses
-1 girl I like
-0 mutual 'likages'
-0 new friends
-0 progress towards a meaningful relationship whatsoever.
This isn't working. I'm unhappy, I feel alone and I don't feel that when I'm focussing on myself I'm cultivating a very likable person.
I thought of writing the one girl I like a letter and ask her to meet me again, but I wouldn't really now what to write.
'Hey, I've met a bunch of girls are you're my favourite of the lot, want to go exclusive?' Perhaps if you didn't fuck 22/24 of them on the first date you might've made some friends or even started a real relationship with a few. Not sure if brag post or not. I don't know how many dates you expected to have from online dating but you've alrdy blown that number up. You've got no idea how hard it is to get 24 girls to say yes to meet up and have a date from meeting online... If you couldn't make it work with any of them then something has to be wrong on your end when the dates started/ended tbh. What is with this fetishization of sex on the first date? Why can't you get to know someone after having sex with them?
It's a guy she met on the internet and this is the first time actually meeting. Is that something ok to do in your book? Cause I'd be kinda wary. She's probably be a fun girl but she'd probably wouldn't be relationship material in my book.
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EPT
