EPTDating: How's your luck? - Page 511
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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Zooper31
United States5711 Posts
On July 03 2014 12:43 IgnE wrote: Why is that not ok? Is a man who sleeps on the first date not relationship material? What does relationship material even mean? Met in person? yes. Met online and meeting first time in public? no. Someone you can actually form a bond with and integrate into you life, outside of a purely sexual relationship. Heck if she did it with him, how many times has done it before with other guys. Wouldn't be something I'd be comfortable with is all I'm saying. | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
What does it matter where you meet someone? If you meet someone off the internet, spend the day with them, and decide to fuck them what does it matter? | ||
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Zooper31
United States5711 Posts
On July 03 2014 12:51 IgnE wrote: You sound like an oppressive misogynist. What does it matter where you meet someone? If you meet someone off the internet, spend the day with them, and decide to fuck them what does it matter? Because you're more likely to meet a creepy serial killer online than meeting them at a coffee shop. Are you not capable of seeing where I'm coming from? I literally had to google what you tried calling me because I only had an idea of what it meant. Why are you so quick to degrade me for a simple opinion on internet dating? | ||
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IgnE
United States7681 Posts
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Zooper31
United States5711 Posts
On July 03 2014 12:57 IgnE wrote: Uh . . . I don't know if that's strictly true. I understand that you seem to be coming from a place of irrational fear. Ok we've come to an impasse then, nothing more to talk about I guess. | ||
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VayneAuthority
United States8983 Posts
im so fuckjng fed pu wiuth this ffs. He says he met her at the park only today and its ok for them to have sex now and chase each other later wtf is our socety coming to? User was warned for this post | ||
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Zooper31
United States5711 Posts
On July 03 2014 13:00 VayneAuthority wrote: I came home today guys and saw my dog (mix of german shepherd of great dane) going to pound town on a black lab. he didnt even introduce me before and I told him this before to stop sleeping around like a whore. im so fuckjng fed pu wiuth this ffs. He says he met her at the park only today and its ok for them to have sex now and chase each other later wtf is our socety coming to? Your signature is perfect for this response lol. | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On July 03 2014 06:59 SixStrings wrote: The internet has really failed me. I think it was you guys who advocated that stupid numbers game and it has gotten me pretty much nowhere. After my 'breakup' in January, I went into full #yoloswag mode, got a Tinder and OKCupid profile, made myself talk to every girl I fancied (except the ones I with whom I go to class) and now I'm out of ideas. This is where your stupid numbers game leads to, and I fond it only appropriate to express my frustration in numbers: -24 first dates -22 first intercourses -10 or so second intercourses -1 girl I like -0 mutual 'likages' -0 new friends -0 progress towards a meaningful relationship whatsoever. This isn't working. I'm unhappy, I feel alone and I don't feel that when I'm focussing on myself I'm cultivating a very likable person. I thought of writing the one girl I like a letter and ask her to meet me again, but I wouldn't really now what to write. 'Hey, I've met a bunch of girls are you're my favourite of the lot, want to go exclusive?' Wrong place for you apparently. Let's say I meet 10 girls that all have something in common (in this case most likely both age group and the platform they use) and with all of them I have the exact same issue then it doesn't mean the girls suck, it doesn't necessarily mean I suck, it means I suck at getting what I want with this type of girl. I hate breaking the news to you but it's a numbers game while looking in places where you're likely to find the type of person you want to spend time with. You figured out that for you this way of dating (aka OKCupid and Tinder) results in mostly hookups and that the vast majority of girls doesn't seem to interest you beyond that. Grats. Take what you learned and apply it. In this case it means moving on and looking elsewhere. Think about what interests you, think about where you can find it most likely and work from there. Also, yes, basically every social group has some form of online dating out there. Hell, there are gluten free dating sites out there. Another piece that should be considered (and something only you can answer for yourself) is whether you're too sexual in the way you approach things. Can always try to tune it down a notch, work more on trying to get to know the other person and see if that helps. If interests and goals don't match at all then that's a waste of time tho. The whole "A woman who has sex on her first date isn't relationship material" is obviously bullshit but I assume that doesn't need to be discussed. | ||
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SixStrings
Germany2046 Posts
On July 03 2014 14:48 r.Evo wrote: The whole "A woman who has sex on her first date isn't relationship material" is obviously bullshit but I assume that doesn't need to be discussed. Thanks for taking me seriously and not just piling on how much I suck / how I just want to brag. Why would I brag about how miserable I am? That's pathetic. I realise I'm doing it wrong, but I'm just now sure how or where else I am supposed to be looking. There are girls with at least some common interested at my uni, but I'm hesitant to ask any of them out, because that could spell disaster. If it were just a job I'd be fine, but I have this gut feeling that this isn't a good idea. The other idea I had was to be a bit more outgoing with my music, look for people to jam with again. But other than that, I just want to find out where the nerd girls are at. I always had the best time with them. | ||
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Ahzz
Finland780 Posts
If you only want easy yoloswag lays it's not like I can judge you or say something is better or worse, but obviously you got that down already. However, you state this not to be the case. You just want that special someone to spend lots of time with. If that really is the case, then why isn't the university a right place to look for girls? You supposedly aren't going to fool around looking for easy lays, you want to connect and you want to find a special someone. No intentions of misleading anyone or investing in someone and suddenly bailing out when things get serious. In any case figure out what you want from a relationship first. | ||
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r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On July 03 2014 17:01 SixStrings wrote: Thanks for taking me seriously and not just piling on how much I suck / how I just want to brag. Why would I brag about how miserable I am? That's pathetic. I realise I'm doing it wrong, but I'm just now sure how or where else I am supposed to be looking. There are girls with at least some common interested at my uni, but I'm hesitant to ask any of them out, because that could spell disaster. If it were just a job I'd be fine, but I have this gut feeling that this isn't a good idea. The other idea I had was to be a bit more outgoing with my music, look for people to jam with again. But other than that, I just want to find out where the nerd girls are at. I always had the best time with them. If by "nerdy" you mean smart and slightly socially incompetent (in a cute way) think of where guys like that would be and it's exactly the same for girls. Libraries, uni courses, book stores, museums and, most important of all: "Normal" places. If you're looking for someone who doesn't want to party all that much and who doesn't hang out at all the cool places you'll still find them in the middle of a city on a Saturday afternoon. As for the "spells disaster" part, it obviously depends. If you trust yourself that any girl will be happier after any kind of relationship with you than before and be happy and positive about it towards her friends, perfect. If you're not that confident about that (judging from your previous posts I wouldn't be, no offense), don't do it. People will talk, it's up to you to ensure it's about something good for you in the long run. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18106 Posts
On July 03 2014 11:49 Xiphos wrote: Assuming that his father isn't present at the time. He is the man of the household. He needs to manage it well in the absence of the father figure. Its akin to telling your kids to stop eating too much sugar stuff because its bad for his/her health. Err... here in the 21st century that isn't the way things work. Big brother is not automatically the head of the household if the father is away. I for one would never have assumed I could tell my siblings what to do. And you're even assuming the father is away, which wasn't said. IF their parents were out, and had left him in charge then he should expect to be introduced. Otherwise it's quite clearly their parents' household and not his. Assuming an otherwise functional family, that means that as long as their parents were okay with his sister's guest, his only responsibility with regards to the whole situation is to respect her private space. The way he phrased the initial post, he also seemed more upset about the spooning than the fact that there was an unknown dude in the house. The spooning is absolutely none of his business in any case. | ||
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SoSexy
Italy3725 Posts
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LeLfe
France3160 Posts
On July 03 2014 21:33 SoSexy wrote: I would just join them you really need profesional help | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States44993 Posts
On July 03 2014 11:38 Adrian_mx wrote: I was pretty upset, but I held it like a man and told him to get out Your sister is legally an adult. You also have no right to tell her who she can and cannot have sex with, let alone cuddle with. I get it's hard being the older sibling, but she needs to be independent. She also doesn't need to check every guy in with you or your parents before she starts kissing someone. You don't get to decide who she dates or sleeps with, nor pass a judgment on whether or not the guys she sees are relationship material. You need to trust your sister, give her advice when she asks for it, and be a good brother by being supportive and not an aggressive jerk. Let her learn from her experiences. And on a different note: Xiphos. I swear to god everything you post I vehemently disagree with. (Doesn't mean I'm right and you're wrong; I just always get a little disappointed whenever I read your comments.) | ||
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TheFish7
United States2824 Posts
SixStrings, I do not pretend to be an expert on female psychology, but perhaps you are "devaluing" yourself in their eyes by sleeping with them too quickly? Or perhaps you are only going after a certain type of woman on these dating apps: ones that were never looking for a relationship in the first place? | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States44993 Posts
On July 03 2014 22:59 TheFish7 wrote: The correct answer to Adrian's question is that it depends on the guy, and to a lesser degree depends on the sister as well. If the guy is also like her classmate and 19-20 or whatever then there should be no problem and you should leave them alone. What sort of a random guy, like an older guy or some shady dude she met on the street? I would be protective of my sister and at least explain to her why doing things like that can be a bad idea, although you have to let people make their own decisions (and mistakes) in life. Is your sister tough and able to fend for herself? If so, just leave her alone. From what Adrian said, it just seemed like he found his adult sister consensually cuddling with a guy, and that was it. They weren't having sex, she wasn't being hurt... Adrian just didn't know the guy. I could see Adrian asking his sister who the guy was after things run their course and the guy eventually leaves, but for Adrian to flip out and kick the guy out of the house... that's overprotection to the nth degree in my opinion. It's not a mature approach to the situation, it's not showing that he trusts his sister, and it's likely to push them away from each other in terms of future communication. | ||
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Xiphos
Canada7507 Posts
On July 03 2014 20:56 Acrofales wrote: Err... here in the 21st century that isn't the way things work. Big brother is not automatically the head of the household if the father is away. I for one would never have assumed I could tell my siblings what to do. And you're even assuming the father is away, which wasn't said. IF their parents were out, and had left him in charge then he should expect to be introduced. Otherwise it's quite clearly their parents' household and not his. Assuming an otherwise functional family, that means that as long as their parents were okay with his sister's guest, his only responsibility with regards to the whole situation is to respect her private space. The way he phrased the initial post, he also seemed more upset about the spooning than the fact that there was an unknown dude in the house. The spooning is absolutely none of his business in any case. Unless you have laws and legislation to prove that, the big brother is absolutely in charge of the household in the absence of the father figure. On the note of the private space, you are also assuming that she is paying rent to the place. If she isn't paying rent, then her space isn't exactly private, it still belongs to the parents. Unless you rent/purchased the place yourself, the one that's set in charge of the place gets to manage it any ways he or she intended it to be. | ||
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Najda
United States3765 Posts
On July 03 2014 23:55 Xiphos wrote: Unless you have laws and legislation to prove that, the big brother is absolutely in charge of the household in the absence of the father figure. On the note of the private space, you are also assuming that she is paying rent to the place. If she isn't paying rent, then her space isn't exactly private, it still belongs to the parents. Unless you rent/purchased the place yourself, the one that's set in charge of the place gets to manage it any ways he or she intended it to be. The "head of household" according to the law is just whoever is paying the majority of the rent. Gender is irrelevant in the equation, and the brother wouldn't suddenly be head of household just because the parents aren't home at that moment. | ||
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