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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:
Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
Are you really going to go there?
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On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:
You are only 1/2 right.
Girls' preference goes from:
Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting
-> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition
-> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it
-> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all.
While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.
Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.
The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working.
I agree with you, and i would add that, for a relationship, the most important thing is the freedom of doing whatever everyone want. Obviously it can lead to ankward situations, that can anyway still be funny and less unhealthy the more the patners get to know each other's desires and passions better.
PS: what do you mean by "unable to figure out how to transition"?
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On June 25 2014 21:53 Mina wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:
Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
Are you really going to go there?
Only if you want me to.
On June 25 2014 22:01 SUINELLA wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:
You are only 1/2 right.
Girls' preference goes from:
Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting
-> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition
-> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it
-> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all.
While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.
Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.
The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working. I agree with you, and i would add that, for a relationship, the most important thing is the freedom of doing whatever everyone want. Obviously it can lead to ankward situations, that can anyway still be funny and less unhealthy the more the patners get to know each other's desires and passions better. PS: what do you mean by "unable to figure out how to transition"?
Its a credibility issue. After meeting someone, yes you may know each other from a static point of view. But then throughout the relationship, the interaction have to evolve into a unique kind of experience. This goes to not only dating but also with your friends.
A relationship stem from superficiality of looks, resources. In order for the two to stay together, it is based upon that unique kind of experience that the two shares and isn't replicable with anyone else.
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So if freedom to do whatever you want is the most important thing in a relationship you would be fine if your gf cheated on you? I mean if you find a partner that shares this attitude with you than go ahead, but if you are in a relationship with a person that has differnt views (very likely) than you are just an inconsiderate egoistic douchebag.
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On June 25 2014 22:01 SUINELLA wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:
You are only 1/2 right.
Girls' preference goes from:
Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting
-> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition
-> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it
-> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all.
While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.
Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.
The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working. I agree with you, and i would add that, for a relationship, the most important thing is the freedom of doing whatever everyone want. Obviously it can lead to ankward situations, that can anyway still be funny and less unhealthy the more the patners get to know each other's desires and passions better. PS: what do you mean by "unable to figure out how to transition"?
I'm totally fine with that as long as both people agrees to those rules, beforehand preferably. If you had asked the virgin girl about sleeping with someone else and she answered "yes" there would be no issues with what you did. But as is, it is cheating on her, and I'm fairly sure she wouldn't find that funny if you were to tell her now.
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On June 25 2014 22:06 Xiphos wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 21:53 Mina wrote:On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:
Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
Are you really going to go there? Only if you want me to.
I don't think he disagrees with the "urge" part, but more to what it may mean in context. It could be interpreted that you find totally fine to cheat on someone you "love" just for releasing the sexual tension, and by doing so betrayed her trust.
Is that what you meant ?
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On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 21:12 Mina wrote:On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. LOL Yeah, of course it's her fault, SHE made YOU be unfaithful. She could also do better. In fact, it would be hard to find worse. Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out. You are only 1/2 right. Girls' preference goes from: Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting -> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition -> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it -> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all. While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working.
I fail to see where any of what you wrote made me 1/2 wrong.
Furthermore I strongly disagree with all the bolded. From your previous posting history I think you and I disagree at a very fundamental level so I doubt that anything fruitful will come from a discussion as I consider humans more than mere animals driven by basic desires.
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On June 25 2014 22:24 Ghostcom wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 21:12 Mina wrote:On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. LOL Yeah, of course it's her fault, SHE made YOU be unfaithful. She could also do better. In fact, it would be hard to find worse. Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out. You are only 1/2 right. Girls' preference goes from: Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting -> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition -> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it -> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all. While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working. I fail to see where any of what you wrote made me 1/2 wrong. Furthermore I strongly disagree with all the bolded. From your previous posting history I think you and I disagree at a very fundamental level so I doubt that anything fruitful will come from a discussion as I consider humans more than mere animals driven by basic desires.
While you are right that being an asshole could lead to unhealthy relationship, just being confident isn't good enough for a girl.
@Bolded: That's your opinion.
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On June 25 2014 22:25 Xiphos wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 22:24 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 21:12 Mina wrote:On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. LOL Yeah, of course it's her fault, SHE made YOU be unfaithful. She could also do better. In fact, it would be hard to find worse. Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out. You are only 1/2 right. Girls' preference goes from: Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting -> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition -> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it -> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all. While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working. I fail to see where any of what you wrote made me 1/2 wrong. Furthermore I strongly disagree with all the bolded. From your previous posting history I think you and I disagree at a very fundamental level so I doubt that anything fruitful will come from a discussion as I consider humans more than mere animals driven by basic desires. While you are right that being an asshole could lead to unhealthy relationship, just being confident isn't good enough for a girl. @Bolded: That's your opinion.
Thank you captain obvious.
EDIT: I mean, I guess it was really not at all obvious that it was my opinion when I wrote "I consider" - but then again, you only bolded it, so I guess it is too much to assume you would actually read it as well.
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On June 25 2014 22:44 Ghostcom wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 22:25 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 22:24 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 21:12 Mina wrote:On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. LOL Yeah, of course it's her fault, SHE made YOU be unfaithful. She could also do better. In fact, it would be hard to find worse. Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out. You are only 1/2 right. Girls' preference goes from: Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting -> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition -> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it -> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all. While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working. I fail to see where any of what you wrote made me 1/2 wrong. Furthermore I strongly disagree with all the bolded. From your previous posting history I think you and I disagree at a very fundamental level so I doubt that anything fruitful will come from a discussion as I consider humans more than mere animals driven by basic desires. While you are right that being an asshole could lead to unhealthy relationship, just being confident isn't good enough for a girl. @Bolded: That's your opinion. Thank you captain obvious.
Good, I'm glad that we are on the same page.
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On June 25 2014 22:45 Xiphos wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 22:44 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 22:25 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 22:24 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 21:12 Mina wrote:On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. LOL Yeah, of course it's her fault, SHE made YOU be unfaithful. She could also do better. In fact, it would be hard to find worse. Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out. You are only 1/2 right. Girls' preference goes from: Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting -> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition -> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it -> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all. While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working. I fail to see where any of what you wrote made me 1/2 wrong. Furthermore I strongly disagree with all the bolded. From your previous posting history I think you and I disagree at a very fundamental level so I doubt that anything fruitful will come from a discussion as I consider humans more than mere animals driven by basic desires. While you are right that being an asshole could lead to unhealthy relationship, just being confident isn't good enough for a girl. @Bolded: That's your opinion. Thank you captain obvious. Good, I'm glad that we are on the same page.
We really aren't.
EDIT: To quote myself, because you seem to not actually read my posts:
From your previous posting history I think you and I disagree at a very fundamental level so I doubt that anything fruitful will come from a discussion
This isn't really an area riddled with facts, but rather opinions, and ours differentiate too much at too basic a level.
EDIT2: lol
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On June 25 2014 22:45 Ghostcom wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 22:45 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 22:44 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 22:25 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 22:24 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 21:12 Mina wrote:On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. LOL Yeah, of course it's her fault, SHE made YOU be unfaithful. She could also do better. In fact, it would be hard to find worse. Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out. You are only 1/2 right. Girls' preference goes from: Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting -> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition -> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it -> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all. While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working. I fail to see where any of what you wrote made me 1/2 wrong. Furthermore I strongly disagree with all the bolded. From your previous posting history I think you and I disagree at a very fundamental level so I doubt that anything fruitful will come from a discussion as I consider humans more than mere animals driven by basic desires. While you are right that being an asshole could lead to unhealthy relationship, just being confident isn't good enough for a girl. @Bolded: That's your opinion. Thank you captain obvious. Good, I'm glad that we are on the same page. We really aren't.
I certainly have all the facts behind me but yeah if you want to continue this convo, PM me about it.
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
Xiphos is 100% hilarious.
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His posts are like a list of stuff never to do or think about on a date. It is a cautionary tale.
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On June 26 2014 01:05 Plansix wrote:
His posts are like a list of stuff never to do or think about on a date. It is a cautionary tale.
Funny because the two guys I've gave advice to and others agree with my advice.
If you don't think that thinking of stuff to keep the dates exciting, then this speaks more about your personality than mine.
On June 25 2014 22:13 Cynry wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 22:06 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 21:53 Mina wrote:On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:
Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
Are you really going to go there? Only if you want me to. I don't think he disagrees with the "urge" part, but more to what it may mean in context. It could be interpreted that you find totally fine to cheat on someone you "love" just for releasing the sexual tension, and by doing so betrayed her trust. Is that what you meant ?
The guy obviously needs to tell her about what he did (cheating) but he needs to bring up the context behind it as you've said that he have biological needs. And if the girl refuse to accept it, then it is healthy on both sides to terminate the relationship.
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Thing is, I don't see how the context would help when confronted with a minimum of common sense. As much as I agree that we have urges, and that letting sexual tension build up can even become physically painful, it still doesn't justify sleeping with someone else. It would justify wanking.
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The "biological need for sex" does not extend beyond the fact we have to have sex to procreate. there is no time frame where someone dies if they dont get laid.
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Though there are people who like to act like it's mind control or something. That their body tricks them into bad life choices.
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On June 26 2014 02:33 ComaDose wrote:
The "biological need for sex" does not extend beyond the fact we have to have sex to procreate. there is no time frame where someone dies if they dont get laid.
When an beautifully attractive girl walks down the street, the heterosexual men quickly notices and lingers their eyes longer on her than someone with less physical attraction.
And when some men realizes that they can't act upon those sexual urges due to various of reasons, although it is isn't as reductio ad absurdum as you put it, they can get rather depressive.
On June 26 2014 02:17 Cynry wrote:
Thing is, I don't see how the context would help when confronted with a minimum of common sense. As much as I agree that we have urges, and that letting sexual tension build up can even become physically painful, it still doesn't justify sleeping with someone else. It would justify wanking.
Again, I'm not endorsing this to anyone due to ethical reasons. But there are cases out where one partner in a relationship may utilize their superior articulated skills of persuasion and psychological prowess in order to take advantage of the other partner w/o the other consciously recognizing the gravity and the severity of the situation. This could either be taking the resources of the other partner under the rug such as physical monetary amount, living under someone's roof, utilizing one's materials, and/or sexual pleasures.
There are some extreme abusive relationships recorded throughout all ages, between all genders, and in any parts of the world. Now does the guy we are referring to possess any of those particular set of skills to be honest with himself while making his virgin girlfriend keep seeing him after telling her that he cheated? We don't know that. But is it POSSIBLE for her to forgive him just because he cheated? ABSOLUTELY! There are many cases where a relationship even strengthened due to the fact that the couple have been through rough patches but then reconciled with each other.
This all depends on what methods he goes about to break the news to her and how honest and blunt he is about the situation for us to judge his character. For which I'm hoping that he would write us back about the process.
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On June 26 2014 01:21 Xiphos wrote:Show nested quote +On June 26 2014 01:05 Plansix wrote:
His posts are like a list of stuff never to do or think about on a date. It is a cautionary tale. Funny because the two guys I've gave advice to and others agree with my advice. If you don't think that thinking of stuff to keep the dates exciting, then this speaks more about your personality than mine. Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 22:13 Cynry wrote:On June 25 2014 22:06 Xiphos wrote:On June 25 2014 21:53 Mina wrote:On June 25 2014 21:37 Xiphos wrote:
Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
Are you really going to go there? Only if you want me to. I don't think he disagrees with the "urge" part, but more to what it may mean in context. It could be interpreted that you find totally fine to cheat on someone you "love" just for releasing the sexual tension, and by doing so betrayed her trust. Is that what you meant ? The guy obviously needs to tell her about what he did (cheating) but he needs to bring up the context behind it as you've said that he have biological needs. And if the girl refuse to accept it, then it is healthy on both sides to terminate the relationship.
Someone who is less informed and in need of advice isn't exactly who you should be looking for when it comes to validating your opinion.
Apart from that there is no "if the girl refuses to accept his biological needs". His "needs" aren't something that should ever be used for blackmailing someone else into sex.
In this case specifically the girl apparently made her position very clear (by not giving into his advances), he went on and got sex from someone else. It's him who has to accept her position, be honest about his cheating and move on. You're blaming the girl for having a clear and honest position and are recommending that the guy should try and see if blackmail works before he dumps her. It's against everything what solid advice for any kind of healthy relationship or dating life stands for.
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EPT
