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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
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4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On June 25 2014 18:50 SUINELLA wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 02:07 B.I.G. wrote:On June 25 2014 00:16 SUINELLA wrote:
The girl i'm dating is virgin and she is afraid of sex, so yesterday i went to my ex gf house and i did it. I feel a bit superficial.
What should i say to this girl to make her feel confortable with this penetrating business? 'Come on baby just the tip' is the standard phrase in this situation I believe xD.. But seriously just break up she probably would be better off losing her virginity to someone a bit more considerate. I realized my mistake and i told to my ex gf that we have to stop doing this and i blamed her, but she told me it was my fault because she didn't try to tempt me. I will try with the "tip" suggestion ^_^
you should have gone with the "leave her alone" suggestions imo, cheating on the virgin one and blaming your ex for it, you look like a wonderful person
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I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward
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On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward
I dont see how you can be like "i love her alot" when you go and fuck other girls.
Thats disgusting and immature. She's better off with someone who is actually going to respect her liek she(should?) be
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Wow. There's a lot between being too nice ("Trop bon trop con" in French, loosely translated to "too nice too dumb") and doing what you did.
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On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward
You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her.
Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out.
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Netherlands6192 Posts
On June 25 2014 18:50 SUINELLA wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 02:07 B.I.G. wrote:On June 25 2014 00:16 SUINELLA wrote:
The girl i'm dating is virgin and she is afraid of sex, so yesterday i went to my ex gf house and i did it. I feel a bit superficial.
What should i say to this girl to make her feel confortable with this penetrating business? 'Come on baby just the tip' is the standard phrase in this situation I believe xD.. But seriously just break up she probably would be better off losing her virginity to someone a bit more considerate. I realized my mistake and i told to my ex gf that we have to stop doing this and i blamed her, but she told me it was my fault because she didn't try to tempt me. I will try with the "tip" suggestion ^_^
Are you trolling or are you genuinely an asshole?
Respect her decision in regards to sex or leave her. Just like everyone else said. She obviously values her virginity, and if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on. -_-
you can be an interesting guy without being a douche you know, so your reasoning is bad.
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On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out.
This, a thousand time. The urban myth that girls prefers asshole has to stop, it does absolutely no good...
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On June 25 2014 20:26 Cynry wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out. This, a thousand time. The urban myth that girls prefers asshole has to stop, it does absolutely no good...
wouldn't have said it any better, I don't know how old you are but it's time to learn respect, it will get you way firther than being an asshole, and you'll find relationships way more enjoyable
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im 26 and my relations are very enjoyable, i was just asking some suggestions because is the first time i date a virgin. Also, i'm not forcing sex at all, given that we are dating since 2 weeks and we already slept together some times. Normally after some petting it is natural to get the real action but it looks like she is scared because of her lack of experience i guess.
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. After all we are in Value Town here, and all variables should be weighted without going too emotional as you are doing right now
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On June 25 2014 20:32 LeLfe wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 20:26 Cynry wrote:On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out. This, a thousand time. The urban myth that girls prefers asshole has to stop, it does absolutely no good... wouldn't have said it any better, I don't know how old you are but it's time to learn respect, it will get you way firther than being an asshole, and you'll find relationships way more enjoyable
depends compeletely on the type of girl you are hitting on.
Intelligent, mature girls...women will search that in a man and those who are more short-time orientet, superficial and just look on the surface, are hollow themselves may be more interested in assholes. Besides that, being a BIT of a macho can help in some cases when the girl/woman wishes to have a secure/ grown man and mistakes some of the macho-like -behavior for "manly", which is often the case. I always tried to hit the sweet spot between being an awesome listener (softie) while saying out my insecurities with confidence and also show that I am no pussy as well. To stand to your errors/insecurities etc is something admirable every girl/woman with some brain will respect/like.
But ofc you always have to find out, which type of girl you have in front of you: does she want a guy with self esteem who knows who he is (and either way fits to her in that regard, or fulfills her need of protection, a strong man), or is she insecure herself and searches someone who feels the same or....(put different type in here, judging from her inner feelings).
Sorry for my extremely bad English today, I think I am still drunk
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On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better.
LOL
Yeah, of course it's her fault, SHE made YOU be unfaithful.
She could also do better. In fact, it would be hard to find worse.
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On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
im 26 and my relations are very enjoyable, i was just asking some suggestions because is the first time i date a virgin. Also, i'm not forcing sex at all, given that we are dating since 2 weeks and we already slept together some times. Normally after some petting it is natural to get the real action but it looks like she is scared because of her lack of experience i guess.
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. After all we are in Value Town here, and all variables should be weighted without going too emotional as you are doing right now
Here, have a shovel, it'll help you dig your hole easier.
No but seriously, wtf. "That decision just caused her to be betrayed"... No ? You betrayed her because you didn't respect her decision. Not quite the same story. If she is scared, some would find normal to try and talk about it, not go straigth to fuck his ex and blame HER afterward.
"Another avantage of this will be that she will never refuse to please me" Waaaaat. So you're considering a good thing that she would feel forced to please you because she is scared of losing you. Good job.
Also, Value Town ? As in "me got some pussy duh" ? It's a human being you're facing, not some bullshit fantasies.
Edit : has to be a troll. Either that or an equivalent level of stupid.
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I've decided this guy is just a troll. There's no other way to explain that position.
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On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
im 26 and my relations are very enjoyable, i was just asking some suggestions because is the first time i date a virgin. Also, i'm not forcing sex at all, given that we are dating since 2 weeks and we already slept together some times. Normally after some petting it is natural to get the real action but it looks like she is scared because of her lack of experience i guess.
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. After all we are in Value Town here, and all variables should be weighted without going too emotional as you are doing right now
If you really think that why don't you tell her that you fucked your ex?
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I'm disappointed about your opinion on me Belisarius, I am not trolling anyone (why should I? im just writing here because im a HS player and i found this topic full of people caring to help others with useful suggestions) and i've read the disclaimer of this topic. I don't blame anyone of what happened, just probably myself, and you guys would probably agree on that given your position.
THIS is trolling: "Also, Value Town ? As in "me got some pussy duh" ? " and disgusting too, considering that i love the girl. Sometimes happens to surrend to some physical stress and do mistakes. I just told that to you to explain that for me having sex was important.
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On June 25 2014 21:25 Ghostcom wrote:
If you really think that why don't you tell her that you fucked your ex?
Because she would not trust me anymore
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On June 25 2014 21:12 Mina wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 20:53 SUINELLA wrote:
i find really interesting this: "if she loses it to you and then finds out you were cheating on her then she will have some great memories to look back on."
my opinion regarding this statement is that probably your reasoning doesn't evaluate realistically her state of mind. I think that if she somehow gets to know that i had to come back to my ex gf she will regret her decision of keeping her virginity, because that decision just caused her to be betrayed. Also, another advantage of this will be that she will never ever refuse to please me, given that i could easily leave her for better. LOL Yeah, of course it's her fault, SHE made YOU be unfaithful. She could also do better. In fact, it would be hard to find worse.
Well man's got a point in that men have those more urgent sexual urges that have to be released somehow w/ or w/o a woman (and it is, at least most of the time, better with a partner).
On June 25 2014 20:10 Ghostcom wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 19:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I was different before, but i realized some months ago that being like this can reward you, because girls are different than men. They prefer to be with an ass**** than with a respectful boy, so they can feel less bored.
So it is better for both, if fact being nice is very boring.
Also leave alone the girl im dating is pretty stupid imho, we love each other a lot so it would be totally ankward You are trying to alter who she is by pressuring her into having sex with you. You don't love her, you love the idea of her. Heck, you even went and cheated on her the second she didn't live up to the picture you had of her. Tell her about you and your ex boning and see if she still wants to be with you. If you theory about girls wanting to be with assholes is correct than she should want to stay with you. However I think both you and I know that she won't stay with you if you come clean (which really should tell you all about how wrong you are). Girls don't prefer to be with assholes, they prefer to be with confident people - assholes often comes off as such but get dumped by anyone with an ounce of self-respect the second they are found out.
You are only 1/2 right.
Girls' preference goes from:
Men who have great leadership that are always constantly making life exciting
-> Men that are confident in their current self but unable to figure out how to transition
-> Men that aren't confident in themselves but tries to change it
-> Men that aren't confident in themselves and don't even try at all.
While being assholes can make both of your experiences exciting, it could be unhealthy.
Btw, you can't exactly be 100% not an asshole in a relationship. If the other partner is about to do/doing something that you may find unreasonable, it may be considered the asshole thing to do by refusing her of her request but it is the righteous thing to do.
The key to find a balance in a relationship where you need to be assertive in situation and letting the other partner utilize his/her judgement to what is right and if the other partner is being unreasonable, the relationship is not working.
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On June 25 2014 21:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I'm disappointed about your opinion on me Belisarius, I am not trolling anyone (why should I? im just writing here because im a HS player and i found this topic full of people caring to help others with useful suggestions) and i've read the disclaimer of this topic. I don't blame anyone of what happened, just probably myself, and you guys would probably agree on that given your position.
THIS is trolling: "Also, Value Town ? As in "me got some pussy duh" ? " and disgusting too, considering that i love the girl. Sometimes happens to surrend to some physical stress and do mistakes. I just told that to you to explain that for me having sex was important.
I don't know what Value Town means, so considering your posting so far I assumed something disgusting indeed. Connect what dots you want.
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On June 25 2014 21:36 SUINELLA wrote:Show nested quote +On June 25 2014 21:25 Ghostcom wrote:
If you really think that why don't you tell her that you fucked your ex? Because she would not trust me anymore
And rightly so.
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On June 25 2014 21:34 SUINELLA wrote:
I'm disappointed about your opinion on me Belisarius, I am not trolling anyone (why should I? im just writing here because im a HS player and i found this topic full of people caring to help others with useful suggestions) and i've read the disclaimer of this topic. I don't blame anyone of what happened, just probably myself, and you guys would probably agree on that given your position.
THIS is trolling: "Also, Value Town ? As in "me got some pussy duh" ? " and disgusting too, considering that i love the girl. Sometimes happens to surrend to some physical stress and do mistakes. I just told that to you to explain that for me having sex was important.
It's maybe me, but how on earth can you say you're in love with a girl when you've been with her for two weeks and you've already cheated on her?
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EPT
