EPT"The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her."
as quoted from laddertheory.com
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 282
| Forum Index > General Forum |
We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
|
kaykaykay
Singapore637 Posts
"The best way to never score with a woman is to show too much interest in her." as quoted from laddertheory.com | ||
|
Conti
Germany2516 Posts
| ||
|
aTnClouD
Italy2428 Posts
On September 22 2013 01:04 Conti wrote: It's a wishy-washy statement that can be completely true or utter bullshit, depending on the context. If you define "showing too much interest" as being a total obsessed creep, then of course it's true. If you instead interpret the statement as "I have to show her that I don't care about her", then you're doing it wrong, too. It's more like "you have my interest but I am ready to walk away any moment" | ||
|
affliction
Germany198 Posts
| ||
|
farvacola
United States18856 Posts
| ||
|
r.Evo
Germany14080 Posts
On September 21 2013 22:34 Najda wrote: Any tips for going to a bar alone? I have very little expirience in the environment in general so I really have no idea how to act. I'm just looking to socialize/meet people my age. I realize the bar isn't the best place to meet quality people but there aren't many other options around here. It depends on the size. The bigger the venue the more you can just work it similar to a club, the smaller it is the more important it is that you get into groups quickly when you're going out alone. In a lot of cases that means being social with people before the front door. You should also get the thought out of your head that you can't meet "quality people" at any location, it all depends on where exactly you're going. | ||
|
Najda
United States3765 Posts
I didn't say you can't meet quality people there, just that it's hard/not that many/wrong environment. | ||
|
docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On September 22 2013 02:07 farvacola wrote: The applicability of that rule is inversely correlated with ones' looks. Even more than that, it's simply the idea that having better things to do means that the guy isn't only centered on the girl. It's less about being a dick and more about generally seeming like the guy is making things happen and is choosing to hit on her rather than pining after her. | ||
|
VayneAuthority
United States8983 Posts
| ||
|
docvoc
United States5491 Posts
On September 23 2013 01:00 VayneAuthority wrote: let's not start generalizing the entire gender again, I feel like this needs to be stickied to the top of the thread. There is no simple rules or success formula for every woman out there. You're right, probably best to not generalize so much. On a sidenote, in college, it seems like most of the girls want a tangible thing, a relationship/exclusivity (at least where I'm at most seem to) and I don't really feel ready for that again. What is you guys' best advice as to skating around that or just generally not dating other than alienating people. | ||
|
VayneAuthority
United States8983 Posts
On September 23 2013 01:15 docvoc wrote: You're right, probably best to not generalize so much. On a sidenote, in college, it seems like most of the girls want a tangible thing, a relationship/exclusivity (at least where I'm at most seem to) and I don't really feel ready for that again. What is you guys' best advice as to skating around that or just generally not dating other than alienating people. probably best to find yourself in environments with people looking for the same thing. Which basically means parties/bars/etc at college. You can find people willing to fool around in clubs and just in passing but if you're a person that likes to play the odds then you already know where you need to go | ||
|
lannisport
878 Posts
On September 21 2013 22:34 Najda wrote: Any tips for going to a bar alone? I have very little expirience in the environment in general so I really have no idea how to act. I'm just looking to socialize/meet people my age. I realize the bar isn't the best place to meet quality people but there aren't many other options around here. Meet a or some girls/guys at some other place like meetup, at one of your hobby things (volleyball is pretty good if you're into it) and go with them. It's a lot easier to meet people when you are already in a group (even of 2) having fun. As for going to a bar alone, I would suggest 1) Find the best bar for YOU first. In terms of people, crowd (Are they friendly, cool, geeky, attractive?), music, atmosphere, space (I personally like terraces and places with a dedicated lounge area). 2) Go on a Wednesday night or when it's really empty and get to know/befriend some of the staff like like barmaids, bar tenders, you'll even see a regular or two. Befriending them (especially on a non busy night) can pay dividends later on. They will introduce you to other people and you'll have allies at the bar. Which is always a plus. 3) Follow the good vibes first. Approach the friendliest group and chat them up. You can go around but always come back later to them. On top of all this you should really just have fun/be fun and walk in without expectations and not giving too much of a shit. | ||
|
ROOTFayth
Canada3351 Posts
On September 22 2013 02:07 farvacola wrote: The applicability of that rule is inversely correlated with ones' looks. looks are irrelevent, what you do with your time is a lot more relevent | ||
|
Zooper31
United States5712 Posts
On September 26 2013 12:30 ROOTFayth wrote: looks are irrelevent, what you do with your time is a lot more relevent So you say if I'm a doctor irl saving sick children from diseases I'll get all the chicks I want even if I'm 300lbs and don't shave. | ||
|
ROOTFayth
Canada3351 Posts
| ||
|
Zooper31
United States5712 Posts
On September 26 2013 12:37 ROOTFayth wrote: no idea where you read that I was just making fun of you generalization. Looks are always relevant, but it depends on the individual how much so. For god's sake it's the first thing you know about someone most of the time and what you base your first actions on. | ||
|
Mentalizor
Denmark1596 Posts
The girl: + Show Spoiler + In april I show up at a friends party. They're 2 girls living together, whom I've known for some time (we went to school together 1 year - 8/9 years ago). So at this party I see a girl I don't know. Turns out to be the sister of one of the hosts. Didn't even know she had a sister, but she seems nice, so we start chatting. She knew me back from when I went to school with her sister. We talk a bit, I joke about how weird it would be to do anything with my friends sister, but she's still a bit flirty. So I actually ask my friend if she would mind if I made a move on her sister - "Go ahead... you can even sleep in the empty room" (they were looking for a 3rd roomie at the time... there was a bed though)... So we do it... I wait a few days, write her, we see eachother at another party and hook up again... At this point I think "Well, we're working out pretty well when drunk, wanna hang out sober some day?" but she makes it obvious, she wasn't interested in anything serious. Friday: + Show Spoiler + Fast forward a few months. Haven't heard much from her (like 4 texts) in 4 months. So suddenly she texts me, that she's at a party at my university - and she'd like me to come... "I'm already there"... She wants to hook up. I'm not sure. Sober and disignated driver... So I stall a bit... Ends up finding her, kissing, dancing, taking her home and well... Everything goes great. The future: + Show Spoiler + So this girl is obviously not into anything serious. I get that... However she don't mind getting together on occation - and I'm cool with that. My question now is... Would it be innappropriate to booty-call her next weekend? I know I'm going to a party with slim-to-none chances of scoring. She talked about what we should try "next time" we did it, so it's pretty clear it wasn't our last time... But she did wait 4 months before texting me. Am I being too aggressive by texting her already a week later (just for sex) ? | ||
|
Shotcoder
United States2316 Posts
| ||
|
Mentalizor
Denmark1596 Posts
On September 26 2013 17:15 Shotcoder wrote: Same shit, different toilet. ...what...? | ||
|
Shotcoder
United States2316 Posts
not in reference to you sorry. | ||
| ||
