EPTOn August 27 2013 06:01 AmOkk000 wrote:
She deleted her facebook account. What the freaking hell is going on? I mean what the hell?
She deleted her facebook account. What the freaking hell is going on? I mean what the hell?
cut yr losses
Dating: How's your luck? - Page 265
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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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sam!zdat
United States5559 Posts
cut yr losses | ||
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Slardar
Canada7593 Posts
On August 27 2013 06:01 AmOkk000 wrote: She deleted her facebook account. What the freaking hell is going on? I mean what the hell? She wants the D. | ||
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HardlyNever
United States1258 Posts
On August 27 2013 06:01 AmOkk000 wrote: She deleted her facebook account. What the freaking hell is going on? I mean what the hell? Think about this from her perspective. You're freaking about about a girl you've met twice in real-life. I haven't seen your fb messages, but if I had to hazard a guess they probably come off as pretty creepy/clingy. She probably thinks she has an fb stalker, and from the sound of it, she might be right. | ||
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Zooper31
United States5711 Posts
On August 27 2013 06:01 AmOkk000 wrote: She deleted her facebook account. What the freaking hell is going on? I mean what the hell? She's emotionally unstable and you need to cut your losses. You guys never really had a relationship unless you think people can be in love with people they've only met online because that's what she's doing. | ||
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AmOkk000
72 Posts
edit: fuuck, if im this sad even with a relationship like this, whats gonna happen later with more serious ones? sorry if i seem really desperate, but i am. | ||
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Zooper31
United States5711 Posts
On August 27 2013 16:55 AmOkk000 wrote: No creepy messages, nothing. She seemed happy when we talked last time. Okay, I move on. But how? I mean this really was my first relationship (im 17) and I don't want to end it, especially not in this way. edit: fuuck, if im this sad even with a relationship like this, whats gonna happen later with more serious ones? sorry if i seem really desperate, but i am. Go pig out in some ice cream and just try your best to forget about her. Relationships usually never end the way you want them too. I just got out of one myself and she didn't even have the courtesy to tell me in person, I got a break-up text. You still got plenty of time to find someone to enjoy yourself with etc. all that bullcrap about the fish and the ocean. | ||
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Ahzz
Finland780 Posts
On August 27 2013 16:55 AmOkk000 wrote: No creepy messages, nothing. She seemed happy when we talked last time. Okay, I move on. But how? I mean this really was my first relationship (im 17) and I don't want to end it, especially not in this way. edit: fuuck, if im this sad even with a relationship like this, whats gonna happen later with more serious ones? sorry if i seem really desperate, but i am. Maybe it will sound cliche, but every single crush at a young age will feel like 'she is the destined one', 'she is the one'. The reality is, you don't know yourself, and you don't know her. You know that she is pretty and 'nice'. Maybe she's even smart, but thats all you really know about her. I don't question your feelings. They were probably strong. And it sucks that it didn't happen the way you wanted it to, but thats how we grow in life. It's true when everyone says that 'you will move on', because maybe after a few weeks you will feel that it's for the better. Now, instead of moping about it for the next weeks, focus on a few things... What can you learn from this, and what do you want to do. If you can learn anything from the situation, think about it and reflect on it. As for do what you want to do, you must have things in your mind that you believe would be awesome. Maybe you want to hit the gym, maybe you want to learn history, maybe you want to start a sport. You have a lot of free time to do whatever you want now, so do it. By doing things you want to do and are happy with will you be able to move on. Don't ever let your happiness depend on one relationship or girl alone, be happy regardless of your dating life. Really tho, think of something you always wanted to be or wanted to do. There isn't a girl taking all your time, so do that awesome thing. Be that awesome you. Take steps towards it. Now is not the time to sit home and play computer games or keep thinking about that person that didn't work out. | ||
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AmOkk000
72 Posts
Now is not the time to sit home and play computer games or keep thinking about that person that didn't work out. but im a gamer forever and have no other interests really. i can try to pretend that im a normal person when it comes to other girls that dont like games and stuff, but i can never tell them the truth because i know they wont understand. She did understand this and i didnt have to pretend that im someone else. | ||
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TiCHEN
Netherlands152 Posts
You are 17, go out, have fun, get some friends to do shit with, girls will come eventually. | ||
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AmOkk000
72 Posts
On August 27 2013 19:58 TiCHEN wrote: from reading the last few pages, you sound like a fucking creep. If you have to 'pretend you are a normal person' around other girls, you have some serious issues. If a girl likes you, she wouldnt give a flying fuck if you tell her you play games. Every man plays video games. But serioulsy, no other interests than gaming is pretty fucked up. You are 17, go out, have fun, get some friends to do shit with, girls will come eventually. i meant the 'pretending' when we just get to know each other. like she asks whats your hobbies, im not gonna say "i like playing videogames and you?" i just say "i like cycling, playing with my dog" and stuff like this. obviously they will understand it later. whatever you dont really understand the situation im in. | ||
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kwizach
3658 Posts
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AmOkk000
72 Posts
On August 27 2013 21:16 kwizach wrote: Are you sure that she actually deleted her fb account, or did she just block you? Do you have a friend you could give her account name to so that he'd check if he still sees it normally? yep, cant access from my brother's fb either. and i cant see her on her friends' friend lists either. im trying to contact a few or her friends now about what happened. | ||
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jarod
Romania766 Posts
On August 25 2013 04:34 Mentalizor wrote: For once I actually wouldn't be shy to bring up such a conversation... However, if I do, I'm not sure I'd ever have a chance at getting with her... Would be nice to speak with her about my confusion though... But then it would most likely turn into a "maybe we should she each other a bit less for some time"... Which would most likely be healthy for the situation... But not really what I'm aiming for, you know... I had something similar. One of my best friends in the last 9 year or so is a girl. I know all about her relationships and she knows about mines. We are both single. We were hanging out this summer at the sea side and watched the sunrise together. We did not kiss or so.. but we hold eachother like for almost an hour.. we didn`t want to ruin our friendship. We had a lot of discusion before and after this what it would be like if we would be together. Speak with here directly, from what you say it is possible that you can be a rebound.. but that is not fair from her side.. so she is not your friend then. If you know here from 8 years and hanged along for long.. just talk with here.. best advice.. and in the other hand if she wants something from you, make sure you really want something from here.. The situation will be akward if one part is really liking the other part, like she likes you but you don`t like here back the same way. But in the other hand if you get to be together for a while.. and break up after.. in 1 or 2 months things will get back to normal.. as in friends.. so it is again not that bad. Speak! | ||
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Chicken Chaser
United States533 Posts
On August 27 2013 16:55 AmOkk000 wrote: No creepy messages, nothing. She seemed happy when we talked last time. Okay, I move on. But how? I mean this really was my first relationship (im 17) and I don't want to end it, especially not in this way. edit: fuuck, if im this sad even with a relationship like this, whats gonna happen later with more serious ones? sorry if i seem really desperate, but i am. You're not ready for relationships if you can't handle ending them. Let that sink in before you continue clinging onto anyone. Do the counter-intuitive thing and *NUKE* her yourself: rid yourself of any shred of evidence she was in your life and go talk to your other friends, share what happened (good and bad) about her--don't focus on what you think was good, just share it all. For example, I was recently friend-zoned by someone I thought I'd have a lot of potential dating--it really sucked for the next few days but I shared what happened with my best friend and let myself see how I dodged some bullets like having to date a vegan or someone who actually plays video games more than me (lol?). The more objective and unafraid you are of what happened, the sooner you will come to conquer your feelings and "move on." Just take a deep breath (or two or three) and chill. **Everything will be okay.** Learn from the experience and reflect on your character and move forward. You will feel shitty and all this again in the future, but you'll at least know that you are capable of moving on and keeping your life together. | ||
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TiCHEN
Netherlands152 Posts
On August 27 2013 20:30 AmOkk000 wrote: i meant the 'pretending' when we just get to know each other. like she asks whats your hobbies, im not gonna say "i like playing videogames and you?" i just say "i like cycling, playing with my dog" and stuff like this. obviously they will understand it later. whatever you dont really understand the situation im in. Indeed I don't understand, how can you not have any other interest than gaming? Maybe you should focus on that first. | ||
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AmOkk000
72 Posts
On August 27 2013 21:36 Chicken Chaser wrote: You're not ready for relationships if you can't handle ending them. Let that sink in before you continue clinging onto anyone. Do the counter-intuitive thing and *NUKE* her yourself: rid yourself of any shred of evidence she was in your life and go talk to your other friends, share what happened (good and bad) about her--don't focus on what you think was good, just share it all. For example, I was recently friend-zoned by someone I thought I'd have a lot of potential dating--it really sucked for the next few days but I shared what happened with my best friend and let myself see how I dodged some bullets like having to date a vegan or someone who actually plays video games more than me (lol?). The more objective and unafraid you are of what happened, the sooner you will come to conquer your feelings and "move on." Just take a deep breath (or two or three) and chill. **Everything will be okay.** Learn from the experience and reflect on your character and move forward. You will feel shitty and all this again in the future, but you'll at least know that you are capable of moving on and keeping your life together. My problem may not even the 'move on' thing, but the fact the I have no idea why. I only need a reason why she doesnt answer me, anything. Just to clarify things. | ||
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Rixxe
United Kingdom136 Posts
Bit of background, we are both 24, went to the same college and have the same friend group as a result of that. Live near each other and both work full time. Anyway, been out on 3 or so dates, each one has been really great fun, great conversation and i've been getting a really good vibe. At the end of the last date, we show our affection for a few minutes before she leaves. Annnnd.... now i'm stuck. Dates are great fun, but really expensive in London. Not to mention i'm running out of ideas, and generally feel like i'd enjoy seeing her in a more relaxed enviroment. Problem is, i don't want to make her think i'm only in it for sex by inviting her round, yet i can't think of what else to do. | ||
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AmOkk000
72 Posts
On August 27 2013 21:38 TiCHEN wrote: Indeed I don't understand, how can you not have any other interest than gaming? Maybe you should focus on that first. Okay, besides gaming i like music, movies ofc. Actually I would love to hang out with friends but they dont want to. I either find new friends (where, besides school?) or just continue what im doing now. edit: these gamer friends are my classmates. | ||
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Chicken Chaser
United States533 Posts
On August 27 2013 21:38 TiCHEN wrote: Indeed I don't understand, how can you not have any other interest than gaming? Maybe you should focus on that first. I think the important part isn't what his hobbies are, but that he's LYING about them to give a false impression of his personality to a girl. Better advice, in my opinion, would be to encourage him to embrace his actual interests but also be open to getting new ones. Any TV shows--even anime--are valid interests and can be talking points for conversation. Some things I strongly advise would be to immediately latch onto any of her interests for the sake of having something in common. Develop your own opinions without being too polarizing ("you like X ?? omg me too!" /// "lol wtf you like Y? that's stupid") I can tell OP is a little flustered with his situation right now. I wouldn't advise anyone here to attack him, calling him creepy or fucked up--when's the last time that's helped your argument? Anyway, it does sound like the best course of action for OP is to chill and leave this behind. Someone who cuts you off like that is quite frankly not interested with you anymore, and you have to respect their feelings and move on gracefully without digging yourself into a deeper hole. | ||
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Chicken Chaser
United States533 Posts
On August 27 2013 21:41 AmOkk000 wrote: My problem may not even the 'move on' thing, but the fact the I have no idea why. I only need a reason why she doesnt answer me, anything. Just to clarify things. Sorry, "all is fair in love and war." She doesn't have to give you a reason. And you might not get one directly from her if she's deleted or deactivated her facebook. EDIT: Even if she told you why, there's a good chance you will still ask "but why". Then it's back to my "move on" advice. There's nothing wrong about moving on or that things didn't work out between you two. Actually it's good if you move on, because you will have gained some experience under your belt to take with you in your future relationships. Nice, right? Better something than nothing. | ||
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