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So... My best friend - we'll call her Nadia for the sake of the story - through the last 8 years was just dumped a few weeks ago. Of course I've been around for cheering her up, hating on the x-bf etc etc... I've known her for 8 years and there's never happened anything between us. Easilly one of the best friendships I've ever had... She's been in and out of relationships through our entire friendship... I had a girlfriend for 7+ years, who dumped me in november making this the first time we're both singles at the same time.
So... Last week we're out drinking - I'm kissing with another friend - we'll call her Stephanie. Stephanie and I have been kissing before when we're drunk. No biggie, but suddenly Nadia goes up and makes out with Stephanie and things get out of control fast. Long story short I end up making out with Nadia for a few hours.
The next day we talk about it and agree that it was fun, but we were drunk and it didn't mean anything... However, this is when I start to become awkward... I've still been around her 2-4 times/week and I've come to realize I'm crushing on her... My best friend... Doesn't really help we're always flirting/dancing/giving massages etc etc... I don't want to risk our friendship, however I actually know this girl - and if we actually hit it off, I could really see this turn into a serious thing...
Suggestions? I'm visiting her tomorrow night for dinner and some wine.
She saw you as a potential mate when you were kissing with the other girl. Now it's up to you, if you keep being sexual, confident and attractive she will react accordingly, if you keep talking and acting like her long time friend you will be treated as a friend.
Yeah, and that's the thing... She's a "the-guy-has-to-take-the-first-step kindda girl... So I know she wont make a move, so it's hard to tell her intentions... She's making a ton of hints... But both ways... Like... Always talking about how it would be if we were dating - but then pointing out, it probably wouldn't happen... or the classic "oh, you must be an amazing bf... If only I could find someone like you"... So... I'm sure she wont make a move - but I'm not sure, how she'd react if I did...
I guess it's better (safer) to play it safe and don't do anything... For the sake of the friendship it's better... right? The main problem is just, that I actually have feelings for her
She's obviously inviting you to make a move, pls don't be dumb and go for it.
+ What the other guys are saying... I really value our friendship dearly... I don't think she could ever go back to being just friends if it didn't work out
If you're this unsure, don't do it. Its not worth potential sex to fuck up a relationship with a good friend.
edit: Ask her what she wants. People say its a turn off but like, communication is good. Just say that you were getting some mixed signals and want to know whats up.
For once I actually wouldn't be shy to bring up such a conversation... However, if I do, I'm not sure I'd ever have a chance at getting with her... Would be nice to speak with her about my confusion though... But then it would most likely turn into a "maybe we should she each other a bit less for some time"... Which would most likely be healthy for the situation... But not really what I'm aiming for, you know...
Eh I had a similar experience in my college years, was friends with this girl who had a boyfriend throughout highschool and for the first 3 1/2 years of college. Now to complicate things we're both part of a group thats sharing a house, 3 girls and 3 guys. She comes back from Christmas break having broken up with her bf. I start to realize that I've got feelings for her and we spend some time together - a few dates that were not really dates. I end up never making a move because 1. we live together and it could turn into the most awkward thing ever, and 2. I am afraid to ruin the friendship. She does the whole rebound thing with this guy for a few weeks then breaks it off, then proceeds to sleep around with several guys at once and quite a few randoms (probably making up for 6 years of having one not so great bf) over the next few months. she's since moved away and has a new bf, we don't hang out anymore anyway. In the end I kept thinking that everything played itself out as poorly as possible for me, I got to watch the girl I liked sleep with a bunch of other random guys and our friendship didn't really last anyway. Wheras if I made a move I might have at least been the rebound guy for a few weeks before making life awkward, or perhaps even created a relationship out of it?
I dunno, it just seems to me like most of the time you'd be better off taking the chance and going for it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
i dont think you can really gauge what it is she is after from those actions alone. she could genuinely be interested in you and saw you hook up with someone as missing her opportunity. who knows. just be aware that that's like a prime area for a casual sex rebound kinda deal. or even just a rebound relationship. just have good communication if it goes anywhere so neither of you end up expecting more than you should
On August 26 2013 12:47 Sitinte wrote:
But, I'm really disappointed (aside from the breakup) in how she chose to handle this. I understand that while it may have been hard for her to realize that this isn't what she wanted and to think of a way to bring this up to me, I'm more upset that she kept it a secret from me for nearly two weeks. I thought relationships were about trust and communication but it just wasn't there, especially at a critical time like that.
two weeks is totally fair man. that's not a rash decision you wanna make over night. telling you isnt gonna change her feelings. shitty is if she dumped you and was like yeah, i was thinkin this for several months. a couple weeks to make sure she is 100% sure of her decision, id say that's pretty damn mature and fair. sucks that it shook out the way it did though man. dont let it get you down
On August 26 2013 12:47 Sitinte wrote: Girlfriend just dumped me without any warning. I had a feeling something was wrong when she didn't really respond back like she normally did or just seemed really annoyed by my presence. Her reason was that she doesn't want a relationship.
I don't regret the time we spent together (which was limited; it was a few months) and I hope the next guy she enters a relationship with can treat her right and give her the attention and care she deserves cause she's a really great girl.
But, I'm really disappointed (aside from the breakup) in how she chose to handle this. I understand that while it may have been hard for her to realize that this isn't what she wanted and to think of a way to bring this up to me, I'm more upset that she kept it a secret from me for nearly two weeks. I thought relationships were about trust and communication but it just wasn't there, especially at a critical time like that.
In the end, it hurts a lot, especially since it was my first real relationship and I invested too much of my emotions into one basket. And I'm not a teenager, so it's not like it's just some puppy love; I genuinely cared for the happiness and wellbeing of this girl. But I just gotta get on with my life.
Most girls are awkward and bad at breaking up, and many will wait to find a replacement even though they want to break up as soon as possible. In the end yes it hurts but it will make you stronger
This one time, while I was visiting Ohio University for their famed Halloween parties, I saw a woman in a maid's outfit walk into the middle of the street, pull down her panties, and promptly take a dump right there in public.
On August 27 2013 03:44 farvacola wrote: This one time, while I was visiting Ohio University for their famed Halloween parties, I saw a woman in a maid's outfit walk into the middle of the street, pull down her panties, and promptly take a dump right there in public.
fuckk... so here's my story. 2 months ago i met the most wonderful girl ever. she lives kinda far, but we've met 2 times. we talk everday on skype/fb. but today. i greeted her on fb. she said hey as well. well thats all. i asked a question, but no answer. i saw her liking stuff on fb, and the message was 'seen'. this is my first relationship, she is perfect and i really dont want to lose her. am i overreacting, or why is she ignoring me? since then i've sent a message to her on sms but no answer. what should i do?
On August 27 2013 04:15 AmOkk000 wrote: fuckk... so here's my story. 2 months ago i met the most wonderful girl ever. she lives kinda far, but we've met 2 times. we talk everday on skype/fb. but today. i greeted her on fb. she said hey as well. well thats all. i asked a question, but no answer. i saw her liking stuff on fb, and the message was 'seen'. this is my first relationship, she is perfect and i really dont want to lose her. am i overreacting, or why is she ignoring me? since then i've sent a message to her on sms but no answer. what should i do?
How long has it been? Did she seem weird in anyway beforehand? You guy's aren't having any problems I assume? You're probably overacting and just give her some space.
On August 27 2013 04:15 AmOkk000 wrote: fuckk... so here's my story. 2 months ago i met the most wonderful girl ever. she lives kinda far, but we've met 2 times. we talk everday on skype/fb. but today. i greeted her on fb. she said hey as well. well thats all. i asked a question, but no answer. i saw her liking stuff on fb, and the message was 'seen'. this is my first relationship, she is perfect and i really dont want to lose her. am i overreacting, or why is she ignoring me? since then i've sent a message to her on sms but no answer. what should i do?
How long has it been? Did she seem weird in anyway beforehand? You guy's aren't having any problems I assume? You're probably overacting and just give her some space.
no problems, no arguings. we just talked yesterday, nothing weird. we talk everyday, so no idea why she doesnt answer now. it's been 3 hours. but she is online, on skype she is invisible. i will try to call her tomorrow, it's 9:30 pm here.
On August 27 2013 04:15 AmOkk000 wrote: fuckk... so here's my story. 2 months ago i met the most wonderful girl ever. she lives kinda far, but we've met 2 times. we talk everday on skype/fb. but today. i greeted her on fb. she said hey as well. well thats all. i asked a question, but no answer. i saw her liking stuff on fb, and the message was 'seen'. this is my first relationship, she is perfect and i really dont want to lose her. am i overreacting, or why is she ignoring me? since then i've sent a message to her on sms but no answer. what should i do?
How long has it been? Did she seem weird in anyway beforehand? You guy's aren't having any problems I assume? You're probably overacting and just give her some space.
no problems, no arguings. we just talked yesterday, nothing weird. we talk everyday, so no idea why she doesnt answer now. it's been 3 hours. but she is online, on skype she is invisible. i will try to call her tomorrow, it's 9:30 pm here.
I would just give her space for now, maybe wait for her to contact you. Girl's don't really like clingy guys, it makes them feel suffocated. Persistence = Key. Clingy = Big nono. If that makes any sense. Goodluck !
On August 27 2013 04:15 AmOkk000 wrote: fuckk... so here's my story. 2 months ago i met the most wonderful girl ever. she lives kinda far, but we've met 2 times. we talk everday on skype/fb. but today. i greeted her on fb. she said hey as well. well thats all. i asked a question, but no answer. i saw her liking stuff on fb, and the message was 'seen'. this is my first relationship, she is perfect and i really dont want to lose her. am i overreacting, or why is she ignoring me? since then i've sent a message to her on sms but no answer. what should i do?
How long has it been? Did she seem weird in anyway beforehand? You guy's aren't having any problems I assume? You're probably overacting and just give her some space.
no problems, no arguings. we just talked yesterday, nothing weird. we talk everyday, so no idea why she doesnt answer now. it's been 3 hours. but she is online, on skype she is invisible. i will try to call her tomorrow, it's 9:30 pm here.
Just give her some space dude. Maybe she felt you were smothering her. Just leave her alone for the night and try saying hey whats up sometime tomorrow afternoon or something, act like nothing is wrong and it's no big deal. Or just wait for her to contact you and only give her a goodnight message tomorrow.
i dont know guys. i mean she has never acted like this before. at least an answer whats going on with her. or this is the other gender we guys will never understand?
On August 27 2013 04:31 AmOkk000 wrote: i dont know guys. i mean she has never acted like this before. at least an answer whats going on with her. or this is the other gender we guys will never understand?
To guys a simple answer would suffice as to why but she's a girl and they tend to not do that. You have to just deal with what they give you and go from there. Just stop talking to her and wait for her to respond.
On August 27 2013 04:31 AmOkk000 wrote: i dont know guys. i mean she has never acted like this before. at least an answer whats going on with her. or this is the other gender we guys will never understand?
To guys a simple answer would suffice as to why but she's a girl and they tend to not do that. You have to just deal with what they give you and go from there. Just stop talking to her and wait for her to respond.
well okay. i will try to keep you guys updated if something happens! thanks
On August 27 2013 04:15 AmOkk000 wrote: fuckk... so here's my story. 2 months ago i met the most wonderful girl ever. she lives kinda far, but we've met 2 times. we talk everday on skype/fb. but today. i greeted her on fb. she said hey as well. well thats all. i asked a question, but no answer. i saw her liking stuff on fb, and the message was 'seen'. this is my first relationship, she is perfect and i really dont want to lose her. am i overreacting, or why is she ignoring me? since then i've sent a message to her on sms but no answer. what should i do?
stop talking on facebook and skype if you have only met 2 times. Alot of the initial interaction must happen irl and not over the web. It's just going to make things weird
On August 27 2013 04:15 AmOkk000 wrote: fuckk... so here's my story. 2 months ago i met the most wonderful girl ever. she lives kinda far, but we've met 2 times. we talk everday on skype/fb. but today. i greeted her on fb. she said hey as well. well thats all. i asked a question, but no answer. i saw her liking stuff on fb, and the message was 'seen'. this is my first relationship, she is perfect and i really dont want to lose her. am i overreacting, or why is she ignoring me? since then i've sent a message to her on sms but no answer. what should i do?
stop talking on facebook and skype if you have only met 2 times. Alot of the initial interaction must happen irl and not over the web. It's just going to make things weird
On August 27 2013 04:15 AmOkk000 wrote: fuckk... so here's my story. 2 months ago i met the most wonderful girl ever. she lives kinda far, but we've met 2 times. we talk everday on skype/fb. but today. i greeted her on fb. she said hey as well. well thats all. i asked a question, but no answer. i saw her liking stuff on fb, and the message was 'seen'. this is my first relationship, she is perfect and i really dont want to lose her. am i overreacting, or why is she ignoring me? since then i've sent a message to her on sms but no answer. what should i do?
stop talking on facebook and skype if you have only met 2 times. Alot of the initial interaction must happen irl and not over the web. It's just going to make things weird
Yeah but thats the only way we can talk so..
than it's not a real relationship, or it isnt worth pursing one
EPT
