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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On August 25 2013 02:22 DrCooper wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 02:00 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 01:48 r.Evo wrote:On August 25 2013 01:14 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 00:57 r.Evo wrote:
Congratulations, what you point out as "PUA being wrong" is people taking certain concepts and applying them wrong.
Just because "You need to build lots of workers" is generally good advice that doesn't mean you need to build them 24/7. Negging specifically aims for very, very few spots (the woman having a high value + high self-esteem) and for a specific mindset (you're assuming your value is lower than hers in the first place). Even within those super specific conditions it still needs to be well calibrated.
That's why people who know their shizzle will tell you: "Don't neg because 99% of the time you'll do it wrong."
e: Shit like the cube is fucking awesome but it's more of a fun thing to do because you want to amuse yourself. Which also turns out to be a great idea in most cases. =P No. Just.. no. That you consider negging to be useful at all, in whatever rare situation, is scary to me. That you categorize people by "value" is scary to me. The whole, basic approach is scaring me, the vocabulary especially. If someone categorizes human beings by value and breaks them down into simple behavioral mechanics, I want nothing to do with them. People are not animals, and I do require a basic amount of respect when interacting with others. Well, newsflash: People have different social value. If you don't want to see that you shouldn't be interacting with human beings. Saying "negging can never be useful" is plain dumb - if applied correctly it's a great tool like pretty much anything in the realm of social interaction. I'm not saying negging isn't useful, I'm saying it's inherently wrong. It's all about the fun. Makes the interaction more fun, for you and the girl. I neg my female friends all the time because it's fun, even if I just want to be friends with them. It's about how you say it not what. Like when I call a friend of mine chubby even though she has an amazing body. I wouldn't call a fat girl chubby because that would be just be very mean. You have to use your brain.
Yeah, there was this really attractive girl who used to hang out with my group of friends, and everyone would poke fun at her by calling her fat and what not. Later on, we found out she developed a terrible eating disorder. Go figure!
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On August 25 2013 02:07 superstartran wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 02:00 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 01:48 r.Evo wrote:On August 25 2013 01:14 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 00:57 r.Evo wrote:
Congratulations, what you point out as "PUA being wrong" is people taking certain concepts and applying them wrong.
Just because "You need to build lots of workers" is generally good advice that doesn't mean you need to build them 24/7. Negging specifically aims for very, very few spots (the woman having a high value + high self-esteem) and for a specific mindset (you're assuming your value is lower than hers in the first place). Even within those super specific conditions it still needs to be well calibrated.
That's why people who know their shizzle will tell you: "Don't neg because 99% of the time you'll do it wrong."
e: Shit like the cube is fucking awesome but it's more of a fun thing to do because you want to amuse yourself. Which also turns out to be a great idea in most cases. =P No. Just.. no. That you consider negging to be useful at all, in whatever rare situation, is scary to me. That you categorize people by "value" is scary to me. The whole, basic approach is scaring me, the vocabulary especially. If someone categorizes human beings by value and breaks them down into simple behavioral mechanics, I want nothing to do with them. People are not animals, and I do require a basic amount of respect when interacting with others. Well, newsflash: People have different social value. If you don't want to see that you shouldn't be interacting with human beings. Saying "negging can never be useful" is plain dumb - if applied correctly it's a great tool like pretty much anything in the realm of social interaction. I'm not saying negging isn't useful, I'm saying it's inherently wrong. How is negging inherently wrong? So teasing a woman playfully is wrong? Huh? I must be humanity's biggest asshole because I crack a joke now x_X The purpose of 'negging' is to let the woman know that you're not some wet newbie that will grovel before her and you will challenge her back. It's not to purposely insult her in anyway shape or form. What alot of newbies don't get is that they completely take it the wrong way and actually do insult the girl/woman. It's a more advanced 'tool/strategy/tactic/method' that alot of people try out because it does actually work pretty much 100% of the time when you do it correctly. Now I'm not saying everything in the PUA community is great. But some of the strategies/tactics/etc. do work, it's just that people take it too literally. If anyone reads an actually decent book, they do put up a disclaimer that all they are doing is trying to build up your confidence by giving you a road map to follow. Everything else is up to you, and they can give you some level of advice, but it certainly isn't going to be a A = > Z science manual or some shit like that. It's like you've literally never read the entire book, or even the preface for that matter.
There is a big difference between teasing and negging. Teasing is being playful, not trying to hurt the girl. You show her that you have backbone, and that you're no pushover. Negging is much different, it relies on lowering a girls self-esteem level to your own; it is the marker of a man with not just low-self-esteem, but a low value assessment of other people, specifically women - i.e. it's a mysoginistic practice glorified in pua-code and defended by people who either don't want to admit that the practice is, at it's base, the wrong way to go about picking up a girl.
Pua activity doesn't have to be bad, wrong, or creepy. It's just an algorithm, the creepiness of it comes from the people who try to "break LMR" (last minute resistance), the people who attempt to treat women like objects to be "gamed," and the people who have no social skills when they exit their linguistics systems (you can tell who these people are because they fall apart when they aren't in control of the conversation or lose out on the girl to someone with actual confidence in their self-worth). Those people don't make up the majority of pick-up-artistry, those people are a large minority, the majority are just sexually frustrated guys who don't know what they are doing wrong, so they want to get coached. Most pua people that I've met don't use the algorithms to get laid, they use them to get the girls number to get their foot in the door, those people are normal and use the knowledge base to their advantage; the pua people that try to get laid straight away, the people that end up damn-near-close to rape, the people that make the tarnished repuation of pua actually tarnished are the large minority that aren't out there for anything but their own benefit - those guys are the ones that hurt girls, guys, and people around them by treating human relationships like a sociopathic game.
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On August 25 2013 02:25 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 02:22 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:00 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 01:48 r.Evo wrote:On August 25 2013 01:14 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 00:57 r.Evo wrote:
Congratulations, what you point out as "PUA being wrong" is people taking certain concepts and applying them wrong.
Just because "You need to build lots of workers" is generally good advice that doesn't mean you need to build them 24/7. Negging specifically aims for very, very few spots (the woman having a high value + high self-esteem) and for a specific mindset (you're assuming your value is lower than hers in the first place). Even within those super specific conditions it still needs to be well calibrated.
That's why people who know their shizzle will tell you: "Don't neg because 99% of the time you'll do it wrong."
e: Shit like the cube is fucking awesome but it's more of a fun thing to do because you want to amuse yourself. Which also turns out to be a great idea in most cases. =P No. Just.. no. That you consider negging to be useful at all, in whatever rare situation, is scary to me. That you categorize people by "value" is scary to me. The whole, basic approach is scaring me, the vocabulary especially. If someone categorizes human beings by value and breaks them down into simple behavioral mechanics, I want nothing to do with them. People are not animals, and I do require a basic amount of respect when interacting with others. Well, newsflash: People have different social value. If you don't want to see that you shouldn't be interacting with human beings. Saying "negging can never be useful" is plain dumb - if applied correctly it's a great tool like pretty much anything in the realm of social interaction. I'm not saying negging isn't useful, I'm saying it's inherently wrong. It's all about the fun. Makes the interaction more fun, for you and the girl. I neg my female friends all the time because it's fun, even if I just want to be friends with them. It's about how you say it not what. Like when I call a friend of mine chubby even though she has an amazing body. I wouldn't call a fat girl chubby because that would be just be very mean. You have to use your brain. Yeah, there was this really attractive girl who used to hang out with my group of friends, and everyone would poke fun at her by calling her fat and what not. Later on, we found out she developed a terrible eating disorder. Go figure!
Sad to hear. She probably had lots more problems than a few friends jokingly calling her chubby.
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On August 25 2013 02:32 DrCooper wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 02:25 farvacola wrote:On August 25 2013 02:22 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:00 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 01:48 r.Evo wrote:On August 25 2013 01:14 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 00:57 r.Evo wrote:
Congratulations, what you point out as "PUA being wrong" is people taking certain concepts and applying them wrong.
Just because "You need to build lots of workers" is generally good advice that doesn't mean you need to build them 24/7. Negging specifically aims for very, very few spots (the woman having a high value + high self-esteem) and for a specific mindset (you're assuming your value is lower than hers in the first place). Even within those super specific conditions it still needs to be well calibrated.
That's why people who know their shizzle will tell you: "Don't neg because 99% of the time you'll do it wrong."
e: Shit like the cube is fucking awesome but it's more of a fun thing to do because you want to amuse yourself. Which also turns out to be a great idea in most cases. =P No. Just.. no. That you consider negging to be useful at all, in whatever rare situation, is scary to me. That you categorize people by "value" is scary to me. The whole, basic approach is scaring me, the vocabulary especially. If someone categorizes human beings by value and breaks them down into simple behavioral mechanics, I want nothing to do with them. People are not animals, and I do require a basic amount of respect when interacting with others. Well, newsflash: People have different social value. If you don't want to see that you shouldn't be interacting with human beings. Saying "negging can never be useful" is plain dumb - if applied correctly it's a great tool like pretty much anything in the realm of social interaction. I'm not saying negging isn't useful, I'm saying it's inherently wrong. It's all about the fun. Makes the interaction more fun, for you and the girl. I neg my female friends all the time because it's fun, even if I just want to be friends with them. It's about how you say it not what. Like when I call a friend of mine chubby even though she has an amazing body. I wouldn't call a fat girl chubby because that would be just be very mean. You have to use your brain. Yeah, there was this really attractive girl who used to hang out with my group of friends, and everyone would poke fun at her by calling her fat and what not. Later on, we found out she developed a terrible eating disorder. Go figure! Sad to hear. She probably had lots more problems than a few friends jokingly calling her chubby.
Or the words people say, even in jest, can have palpable effects on how people view themselves. Shocking I know.
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On August 25 2013 02:00 Conti wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 01:48 r.Evo wrote:On August 25 2013 01:14 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 00:57 r.Evo wrote:
Congratulations, what you point out as "PUA being wrong" is people taking certain concepts and applying them wrong.
Just because "You need to build lots of workers" is generally good advice that doesn't mean you need to build them 24/7. Negging specifically aims for very, very few spots (the woman having a high value + high self-esteem) and for a specific mindset (you're assuming your value is lower than hers in the first place). Even within those super specific conditions it still needs to be well calibrated.
That's why people who know their shizzle will tell you: "Don't neg because 99% of the time you'll do it wrong."
e: Shit like the cube is fucking awesome but it's more of a fun thing to do because you want to amuse yourself. Which also turns out to be a great idea in most cases. =P No. Just.. no. That you consider negging to be useful at all, in whatever rare situation, is scary to me. That you categorize people by "value" is scary to me. The whole, basic approach is scaring me, the vocabulary especially. If someone categorizes human beings by value and breaks them down into simple behavioral mechanics, I want nothing to do with them. People are not animals, and I do require a basic amount of respect when interacting with others. Well, newsflash: People have different social value. If you don't want to see that you shouldn't be interacting with human beings. Saying "negging can never be useful" is plain dumb - if applied correctly it's a great tool like pretty much anything in the realm of social interaction. I'm not saying negging isn't useful, I'm saying it's inherently wrong.
Oh, that's alright by me.
In my world every single thing is a tool, it's up to the people who use it to turn it into "right" or "wrong". If something horribly manipulative and humanly indecent like a neg turns into meeting a great woman who I'll spend quality time with that makes both our lives happier it was a great call to use it in the first place.
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On August 25 2013 02:33 farvacola wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 02:32 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:25 farvacola wrote:On August 25 2013 02:22 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:00 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 01:48 r.Evo wrote:On August 25 2013 01:14 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 00:57 r.Evo wrote:
Congratulations, what you point out as "PUA being wrong" is people taking certain concepts and applying them wrong.
Just because "You need to build lots of workers" is generally good advice that doesn't mean you need to build them 24/7. Negging specifically aims for very, very few spots (the woman having a high value + high self-esteem) and for a specific mindset (you're assuming your value is lower than hers in the first place). Even within those super specific conditions it still needs to be well calibrated.
That's why people who know their shizzle will tell you: "Don't neg because 99% of the time you'll do it wrong."
e: Shit like the cube is fucking awesome but it's more of a fun thing to do because you want to amuse yourself. Which also turns out to be a great idea in most cases. =P No. Just.. no. That you consider negging to be useful at all, in whatever rare situation, is scary to me. That you categorize people by "value" is scary to me. The whole, basic approach is scaring me, the vocabulary especially. If someone categorizes human beings by value and breaks them down into simple behavioral mechanics, I want nothing to do with them. People are not animals, and I do require a basic amount of respect when interacting with others. Well, newsflash: People have different social value. If you don't want to see that you shouldn't be interacting with human beings. Saying "negging can never be useful" is plain dumb - if applied correctly it's a great tool like pretty much anything in the realm of social interaction. I'm not saying negging isn't useful, I'm saying it's inherently wrong. It's all about the fun. Makes the interaction more fun, for you and the girl. I neg my female friends all the time because it's fun, even if I just want to be friends with them. It's about how you say it not what. Like when I call a friend of mine chubby even though she has an amazing body. I wouldn't call a fat girl chubby because that would be just be very mean. You have to use your brain. Yeah, there was this really attractive girl who used to hang out with my group of friends, and everyone would poke fun at her by calling her fat and what not. Later on, we found out she developed a terrible eating disorder. Go figure! Sad to hear. She probably had lots more problems than a few friends jokingly calling her chubby. Or the words people say, even in jest, can have palpable effects on how people view themselves. Shocking I know.
Sorry, but if a girls nowadays can't take a joke from FRIENDS she is not suited to live in our time. Given of course you meant it as a joke. Of course if you tell her "your so fat go to a gym for christs sake" and she bursts into tears thats another story. Thats not being playful nor is it funny. If she laughs everything is ok. Girls get so much shit in clubs from strangers how does she react to that? How does she react if her boss at work gives stupid criticism?
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On August 25 2013 02:44 DrCooper wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 02:33 farvacola wrote:On August 25 2013 02:32 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:25 farvacola wrote:On August 25 2013 02:22 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:00 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 01:48 r.Evo wrote:On August 25 2013 01:14 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 00:57 r.Evo wrote:
Congratulations, what you point out as "PUA being wrong" is people taking certain concepts and applying them wrong.
Just because "You need to build lots of workers" is generally good advice that doesn't mean you need to build them 24/7. Negging specifically aims for very, very few spots (the woman having a high value + high self-esteem) and for a specific mindset (you're assuming your value is lower than hers in the first place). Even within those super specific conditions it still needs to be well calibrated.
That's why people who know their shizzle will tell you: "Don't neg because 99% of the time you'll do it wrong."
e: Shit like the cube is fucking awesome but it's more of a fun thing to do because you want to amuse yourself. Which also turns out to be a great idea in most cases. =P No. Just.. no. That you consider negging to be useful at all, in whatever rare situation, is scary to me. That you categorize people by "value" is scary to me. The whole, basic approach is scaring me, the vocabulary especially. If someone categorizes human beings by value and breaks them down into simple behavioral mechanics, I want nothing to do with them. People are not animals, and I do require a basic amount of respect when interacting with others. Well, newsflash: People have different social value. If you don't want to see that you shouldn't be interacting with human beings. Saying "negging can never be useful" is plain dumb - if applied correctly it's a great tool like pretty much anything in the realm of social interaction. I'm not saying negging isn't useful, I'm saying it's inherently wrong. It's all about the fun. Makes the interaction more fun, for you and the girl. I neg my female friends all the time because it's fun, even if I just want to be friends with them. It's about how you say it not what. Like when I call a friend of mine chubby even though she has an amazing body. I wouldn't call a fat girl chubby because that would be just be very mean. You have to use your brain. Yeah, there was this really attractive girl who used to hang out with my group of friends, and everyone would poke fun at her by calling her fat and what not. Later on, we found out she developed a terrible eating disorder. Go figure! Sad to hear. She probably had lots more problems than a few friends jokingly calling her chubby. Or the words people say, even in jest, can have palpable effects on how people view themselves. Shocking I know. Sorry, but if a girls nowadays can't take a joke from FRIENDS she is not suited to live in our time. Given of course you meant it as a joke. Of course if you tell her "your so fat go to a gym for christs sake" and she bursts into tears thats another story. Thats not being playful nor is it funny. If she laughs everything is ok. Girls get so much shit in clubs from strangers how does she react to that? How does she react if her boss at work gives stupid criticism?
Christ, apparently I'm not suited to live in the same time as you either.
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On August 25 2013 02:44 DrCooper wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 02:33 farvacola wrote:On August 25 2013 02:32 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:25 farvacola wrote:On August 25 2013 02:22 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:00 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 01:48 r.Evo wrote:On August 25 2013 01:14 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 00:57 r.Evo wrote:
Congratulations, what you point out as "PUA being wrong" is people taking certain concepts and applying them wrong.
Just because "You need to build lots of workers" is generally good advice that doesn't mean you need to build them 24/7. Negging specifically aims for very, very few spots (the woman having a high value + high self-esteem) and for a specific mindset (you're assuming your value is lower than hers in the first place). Even within those super specific conditions it still needs to be well calibrated.
That's why people who know their shizzle will tell you: "Don't neg because 99% of the time you'll do it wrong."
e: Shit like the cube is fucking awesome but it's more of a fun thing to do because you want to amuse yourself. Which also turns out to be a great idea in most cases. =P No. Just.. no. That you consider negging to be useful at all, in whatever rare situation, is scary to me. That you categorize people by "value" is scary to me. The whole, basic approach is scaring me, the vocabulary especially. If someone categorizes human beings by value and breaks them down into simple behavioral mechanics, I want nothing to do with them. People are not animals, and I do require a basic amount of respect when interacting with others. Well, newsflash: People have different social value. If you don't want to see that you shouldn't be interacting with human beings. Saying "negging can never be useful" is plain dumb - if applied correctly it's a great tool like pretty much anything in the realm of social interaction. I'm not saying negging isn't useful, I'm saying it's inherently wrong. It's all about the fun. Makes the interaction more fun, for you and the girl. I neg my female friends all the time because it's fun, even if I just want to be friends with them. It's about how you say it not what. Like when I call a friend of mine chubby even though she has an amazing body. I wouldn't call a fat girl chubby because that would be just be very mean. You have to use your brain. Yeah, there was this really attractive girl who used to hang out with my group of friends, and everyone would poke fun at her by calling her fat and what not. Later on, we found out she developed a terrible eating disorder. Go figure! Sad to hear. She probably had lots more problems than a few friends jokingly calling her chubby. Or the words people say, even in jest, can have palpable effects on how people view themselves. Shocking I know. Sorry, but if a girls nowadays can't take a joke from FRIENDS she is not suited to live in our time. Given of course you meant it as a joke. Of course if you tell her "your so fat go to a gym for christs sake" and she bursts into tears thats another story. Thats not being playful nor is it funny. If she laughs everything is ok. Girls get so much shit in clubs from strangers how does she react to that? How does she react if her boss at work gives stupid criticism?
You can come up with poor analogies and be indignant all you like, but the notion that calling people names, even when joking, can cause problems seems like something you ought to have learned in grade school.
And let's not forget what we're talking about here, that being the propriety of "negging" in commonplace dating scenarios that are almost always with strangers, not friends. Jokingly insulting strangers? meh.
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On August 25 2013 02:47 corumjhaelen wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 02:44 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:33 farvacola wrote:On August 25 2013 02:32 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:25 farvacola wrote:On August 25 2013 02:22 DrCooper wrote:On August 25 2013 02:00 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 01:48 r.Evo wrote:On August 25 2013 01:14 Conti wrote:On August 25 2013 00:57 r.Evo wrote:
Congratulations, what you point out as "PUA being wrong" is people taking certain concepts and applying them wrong.
Just because "You need to build lots of workers" is generally good advice that doesn't mean you need to build them 24/7. Negging specifically aims for very, very few spots (the woman having a high value + high self-esteem) and for a specific mindset (you're assuming your value is lower than hers in the first place). Even within those super specific conditions it still needs to be well calibrated.
That's why people who know their shizzle will tell you: "Don't neg because 99% of the time you'll do it wrong."
e: Shit like the cube is fucking awesome but it's more of a fun thing to do because you want to amuse yourself. Which also turns out to be a great idea in most cases. =P No. Just.. no. That you consider negging to be useful at all, in whatever rare situation, is scary to me. That you categorize people by "value" is scary to me. The whole, basic approach is scaring me, the vocabulary especially. If someone categorizes human beings by value and breaks them down into simple behavioral mechanics, I want nothing to do with them. People are not animals, and I do require a basic amount of respect when interacting with others. Well, newsflash: People have different social value. If you don't want to see that you shouldn't be interacting with human beings. Saying "negging can never be useful" is plain dumb - if applied correctly it's a great tool like pretty much anything in the realm of social interaction. I'm not saying negging isn't useful, I'm saying it's inherently wrong. It's all about the fun. Makes the interaction more fun, for you and the girl. I neg my female friends all the time because it's fun, even if I just want to be friends with them. It's about how you say it not what. Like when I call a friend of mine chubby even though she has an amazing body. I wouldn't call a fat girl chubby because that would be just be very mean. You have to use your brain. Yeah, there was this really attractive girl who used to hang out with my group of friends, and everyone would poke fun at her by calling her fat and what not. Later on, we found out she developed a terrible eating disorder. Go figure! Sad to hear. She probably had lots more problems than a few friends jokingly calling her chubby. Or the words people say, even in jest, can have palpable effects on how people view themselves. Shocking I know. Sorry, but if a girls nowadays can't take a joke from FRIENDS she is not suited to live in our time. Given of course you meant it as a joke. Of course if you tell her "your so fat go to a gym for christs sake" and she bursts into tears thats another story. Thats not being playful nor is it funny. If she laughs everything is ok. Girls get so much shit in clubs from strangers how does she react to that? How does she react if her boss at work gives stupid criticism? Christ, apparently I'm not suited to live in the same time as you either.
If you take everything people say to you for serious then you must be a blast to be around with.
A correction on my part:
I thought negging=teasing. But apparently thats not the case. If negging is something you do in order to insult somebody else and intentionally lower their self esteem than thats just fucking cruel.
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yea thats why it helps to know what you're talking about before you start arguing.. negging is not anywhere close to teasing lol
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So today I learned that there apparently is no clear definition of "negging" after all. That, or even people interested in the subject matter don't seem to know what it is.
Seriously, though. What is negging? From the posts above it sounds like it can be anything from a friendly teasing to intentionally lowering the self-worth of a person to make her more vulnerable to your advances. Needless to say, there is a world's difference between the two.
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Ignorant people are the ones who talk the most. They have no idea what a neg is and it's such an outdated concept in the first place that nowadays PUAs don't use it but instead use what are called "false disqualifiers". Both negs and disqualifiers aren't insults btw.
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Canada11265 Posts
This had better not turn into another PUA thread. We already had one of those and it got closed.
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On August 25 2013 03:17 Falling wrote:
This had better not turn into another PUA thread. We already had one of those and it got closed.
Lets all just agree to disagree
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On August 25 2013 03:01 aTnClouD wrote:
Ignorant people are the ones who talk the most. They have no idea what a neg is and it's such an outdated concept in the first place that nowadays PUAs don't use it but instead use what are called "false disqualifiers". Both negs and disqualifiers aren't insults btw.
Negs are definitely insults because they're designed to lower self-esteem, and False DQs are ways for men without much going on in their life to falsely appear like they have standards. False DQs are another example of PUA information simply being flat out wrong because any girl who isn't school age will have enough social experience with men to tell when a guy is trying to conceal his interest.
"Hmm this guy approached me which means that, no matter how aloof he tries to act, he's attracted to me"
"And my social experience as a young woman tells me that every man my age wants to fuck"
"But here he is feeding me a line about how I'm 'not his type' "
There's almost no situation where a young woman (who you haven't already slept/connected with) would believe a false DQ outside of being drunk, and this generally results in losing out on potential prospects. Both of these tactics brought to you by the minds of PUA "leaders" who expect suckers to pay for 10,000 dollar training seminars.
Edit: Saw the moderation post. It's probably best to PM me if you want to discuss this. I'm not trying to turn this thread into a debate, but I wanted to clear a few things up I read here.
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On August 25 2013 03:22 DemigodcelpH wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 03:01 aTnClouD wrote:
Ignorant people are the ones who talk the most. They have no idea what a neg is and it's such an outdated concept in the first place that nowadays PUAs don't use it but instead use what are called "false disqualifiers". Both negs and disqualifiers aren't insults btw. Negs are definitely insults because they're designed to lower self-esteem, and False DQs are ways for men without much going on in their life to falsely appear like they have standards. False DQs are another example of PUA information simply being flat out wrong because any girl who isn't school age will have enough social experience with men to tell when a guy is trying to conceal his interest. "Hmm this guy approached me which means that, no matter how aloof he tries to act, he's attracted to me" "And my social experience as a young woman tells me that every man my age wants to fuck" "But here he is feeding me a line about how I'm 'not his type' " Guaranteed to turn any potential prospect off. There's almost no situation where a young woman would believe a false DQ outside of being drunk. Both tactics of these tactics brought to you by the minds of PUA "leaders" who expect suckers to pay for 10,000 dollar training seminars.
The disqualifier is not used for the girl, you use it because when you approach a group of people if you use a direct approach they will act as obstacles. You have to disqualify yourself to them so you can act friendly to the whole group and nobody hates you for giving too much attention to their cute girl friend.
If you approach a girl alone you have to be direct otherwise you come off as a complete retard for the reasons you stated above. I also believe in some situations it's important to make some girls self conscious. A pretty girl's state of mind in a club at saturday night will be exactly like "I'm the shit everybody treats me like a queen I am better than these losers hurr durr" so if you don't bring her down to a state of mind where she knows she's a person with her own qualities and flaws like everybody else you will be never be able to interact with her "real" personality.
Due to cultural reasons italians are naturally exceptionally good at pick up and I've seen this done all the time way before I knew anything about pick up. I thought it was dumb because I didn't understand the reason but now it all comes together. Remember that you put a girl in the state of mind of "ok now I am free to know this guy without social pressure from my friends" not "I just got insulted I feel so offended". The ultimate goal is to make everyone have a good time and I think it's the best way to interact with people in general.
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On August 25 2013 03:17 Falling wrote:
This had better not turn into another PUA thread. We already had one of those and it got closed.
PUA?
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Canada11265 Posts
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Btw getting a date from a girl in a different environment than a night club is always better. Clubs are full of dumb bitches and it's completely fine if you are going for looks alone, but the whole environment and context is so superficial that you can't expect special things to happen. I always found the whole day interaction be way more satisfying than the club interaction, but of course there can be exceptions.
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On August 25 2013 03:33 aTnClouD wrote:Show nested quote +On August 25 2013 03:22 DemigodcelpH wrote:On August 25 2013 03:01 aTnClouD wrote:
Ignorant people are the ones who talk the most. They have no idea what a neg is and it's such an outdated concept in the first place that nowadays PUAs don't use it but instead use what are called "false disqualifiers". Both negs and disqualifiers aren't insults btw. Negs are definitely insults because they're designed to lower self-esteem, and False DQs are ways for men without much going on in their life to falsely appear like they have standards. False DQs are another example of PUA information simply being flat out wrong because any girl who isn't school age will have enough social experience with men to tell when a guy is trying to conceal his interest. "Hmm this guy approached me which means that, no matter how aloof he tries to act, he's attracted to me" "And my social experience as a young woman tells me that every man my age wants to fuck" "But here he is feeding me a line about how I'm 'not his type' " Guaranteed to turn any potential prospect off. There's almost no situation where a young woman would believe a false DQ outside of being drunk. Both tactics of these tactics brought to you by the minds of PUA "leaders" who expect suckers to pay for 10,000 dollar training seminars. The disqualifier is not used for the girl, you use it because when you approach a group of people if you use a direct approach they will act as obstacles. You have to disqualify yourself to them so you can act friendly to the whole group and nobody hates you for giving too much attention to their cute girl friend. If you approach a girl alone you have to be direct otherwise you come off as a complete retard for the reasons you stated above. I also believe in some situations it's important to make some girls self conscious. A pretty girl's state of mind in a club at saturday night will be exactly like "I'm the shit everybody treats me like a queen I am better than these losers hurr durr" so if you don't bring her down to a state of mind where she knows she's a person with her own qualities and flaws like everybody else you will be never be able to interact with her "real" personality. Due to cultural reasons italians are naturally exceptionally good at pick up and I've seen this done all the time way before I knew anything about pick up. I thought it was dumb because I didn't understand the reason but now it all comes together. Remember that you put a girl in the state of mind of "ok now I am free to know this guy without social pressure from my friends" not "I just got insulted I feel so offended". The ultimate goal is to make everyone have a good time and I think it's the best way to interact with people in general.
isnt the stereotype of italians that they sexually harass women? i have never heard they were good at pick up unless italians consider their sexual harassment "picking up" a girl.
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EPT
