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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On October 11 2011 02:14 MaliciousMirth wrote:
Ok after reading EVERY post on this thread I have come to the conclusion that (with the exception of a few who have gotten what they wanted or given advice about how to get it) NO WONDER WOMEN WONT DATE YOU!!!!!
Look, Im not trying to be a dick, but I think some of you need a little honest truth in your lives.......
-"Im just not a social person and it takes me a long time to get comfortable in social situations" Well no shit sherlock NO ONE is comfortable in most social situations especially when meeting a gaggle of new people! The reason it seems like some people can go out and mingle and be social without effort is that THEY HAVE PUT IN THE PRACTICE! Just like playing starcraft or any other game you are nervous as fuck when going online for the first time and you feel like shit when you get beat!! same thing in social situations (GOD DAMNIT PEOPLE BEFORE YOU GO ON A SELF BASHING-A-THON PUT YOURSELF OUT THERE MORE THAN ONCE AND SEE HOW EASY IT GETS!)
-"I just don't want a girlfriend/ I couldnt get one anyway"
you would be surprised at how well tuned a woman is to these kinds of things......A woman can smell desperation like a cheap cologne. They WILL pick up on it if you are showing self esteem problems, or any other self bashing technique that you guys are doing.....confidence is key here guys, and not the brash confidence that comes off as showy or douche baggy im talking about the "i dont give a fuk about what you think of me because I love me" THIS IS WHY THE GIRL GOES HOME WITH THE ASSHOLE, because he could give 2 shits about how she feels about him....girls love when a guy has his shit together and has his own life and really is interested in looking out for himself first!
-"Im stuck in the friend zone"
Yup! because you werent assertive enough and didnt let her know FROM THE GET GO that you wanted her in a way more than just friends. Seriously guys if you like a girl then grow some fuking balls and tell her!!!! You might not get the response you were initially looking for but at least you tried and then you can be friends with her like you were gonna end up doing in the first place and you will have the added benefit of knowing for sure where you stand so you can move on.
-"I cant get a date"
NUMBERS, NUMBERS, NUMBERS.....dating is a numbers game....Just like a sales job you have to make the calls in order to get results.....unless you are Brad Pitt, some other movie star, filthy rich, or just plain lucky YOU ARE NOT GOING TO GET A YES OUT OF EVERY GIRL! The worst they can do is say no and how is that so bad? At least you tried! move on to her friend and her friend and her friend and sooner or later you will have that date!
-"I just cant seem to work up the guts to ask her"
You are putting the pussy on a pedestal!~!!!!!!! Yes you read that right. You are exalting something that should not be exalted. These women that you are chasing are JUST as socially awkward as you and they are people with paranoid thoughts and weird quirks JUST LIKE YOU!!!! Why would you get anymore nervous chatting with a female you met at the coffee shop, or wherever, than you would be talkin to a buddy you met watchin the game! Listen to what they say and ask a question about it......SHE WILL KEEP THE CONVERSATION GOING IF SHE IS INTO IT.....if shes not into it then she will probably give you nice hints that she isnt and you can take your coffee and go on with life....nothing lost!
The point Im trying to make here is that alot of you guys are stuck in this pity party world that you have made for yourselves about how I suck doing this thing or that thing, when the fact of the matter is that most of you guys have much higher IQ's than average and have all the necessary skills and equipment to get lots of pussy! ( If you can spend 120 in game days figuring out how to micro/macro your way out of diamond and platinum league challenges in starcraft then you can sure as fuk figure out how to talk to women) If pussy is what you want then get off your computer tonight, take a shower, do some manscaping, put on a nice shirt and go out and be nervous and awkward and weird, until you no longer feel nervous and awkward and weird.
Quote for truth!!
When I was still in the dating stage of my last relationship we kinda had alot of nights which got a little messed up and here are two of them:
1. Weekend and we had been out partying and drinking quite a lot, especially I had one or two beers more than I probably should have. For some reason I start to lift her up during the evening and at one point I almost drop her, and she gets serious saying "if you ever do that one more time I'll make sure to never see you again". Due to the adrenaline of the harsh words and thinking of what could have happened I cool off a little and leave her be. Later we head home and I have a few more beers right before we leave. Once back at my place she starts teasing me for some stupid shit I cant remember, and I wasn't mad, you know just want to get back at her. So I run up and tries to lift here again, but a little too high this time and I lose my balance and smack she falls from +1 meter down on my wooden bed frame and starts screaming. First I thought she hit her head but fortunately that's not the case. But her shoulder gets all swollen and she's barely even able to lift her arm. She's cursing at me while I'm apologizing but we both survive. Just a small note, she still got a nice scar on her shoulder from the incident (6 months later).
2. Same girl, not entirely sure in which order these stories happened, but we had planned a nice camping trip with a few friends of mine for saturday-sunday and we were suppose to leave really early on the saturday morning. But since it's friday we decide to go out for a few drinks, we still had an 8 hour drive the next morning where we could sleep it off. But one beer led to another beer, and before we knew were were shit faced again. I remember two dude hitting hard on her, and I could tell she liked the attention. But I wasn't too worried and since I hate dictating what girls can and can not do I let them think they would have a chance. They invite us to an after party, and even tho we knew we had to get up in 4 hours we thought it would be a good idea to go with them... After 5 minutes of driving my date says she's feeling sick and we pull over. She rushes out and throws up behind a container. The two guys we met are like "ehh alright have a good one" and leaves us. Whatever was just stupid to go with them in the first place. So I hail another cab who was off duty but could give us one last ride for the night. He looks a little bit suspicious at my girl but says nothing. Half way through the drive my girl asks to open up the window and the cab driver gets nervous, "she's not going to puke right? right??". I Assure him she's totally fine and just wanted some fresh air. 10 seconds later she leans out through the window and vomits.... Luckily most of the puke lands outside the cab but some still manages to hit the inside of the door. Angry cab driver is angry, but drives us back to our place while telling us how bad idea this was in the first place. I apologize 10 times and offers him to pay twice the price, I just wanted to get out of there.
When we get up to my place we start debating on how we should do the next day with the camping trip. I had already paid for our tents and all that stuff and I was totally ready to go. I even started packing my stuff. She's like "I really wanna go but I dont think I can". I start to get really mad because of how the evening had ended up and because she was about to screw over my weekend which I had been planning for quite some time. In the heat of the moment I threw my cell phone at the wall leaving a nice hole as a reminder of the whole evening. Shit ended with my friends banging on the door asking why I wasn't picking up and I had to explain to them how this girl passed out on my bed and couldn't even leave my apartment.
Post drama-stories:
We ended up being together for 7 months, with a mutual break up a while ago where she told me she hadn't loved anyone as much as she loved me during the first few months (including the two dates).
I guess my point is, even tho you think you totally screw up, she might like you even more if you can save the situation and just laugh it off a couple of days later.
More about relationships, and a big wake up call I had especially during this relationship.
We had been living more or less together for 4 months in the US (we were on the same exchange program), but was forced to live in different cities when we got back to Sweden. This kinda made us separate and when I felt she was not responding as much as I wanted, I just tried even harder. But this only leads to her taking even more freedom as she feels even less need to keep the contact. Instead you should prioritize your own schedule and this way make her feel the need to a step closer to you instead.
The danger is you might both think so and start drifting apart, but that's only a sign, maybe the two of you shouldn't be together at all.
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United States12607 Posts
Some good posts in this thread. MaliciousMirth's on page 19 is pretty spot on, especially about dating being a numbers game. In my limited experience, learning to shrug off rejection (at very early stages, like asking for a girl's number) is key. But it is hard.
I'm posting just to share a "bad date" story.
+ Show Spoiler [story] +Earlier this year I was in Boston for one weekend on a loosely school-related function. I decided to stay an extra night to go out with a nice girl who I know through a mutual friend of ours. Call her Anna (made up name). Anna has lived in Boston for a while. We really hit it off the first time we met.
I'm unfamiliar with Boston, so Anna picked the restaurant. I wish I could remember this restaurant's name, because it was fantastic (it's somewhere in Cambridge, I think). Really, one of the best meals I've ever eaten. It was a small, neighborhood place; one head chef and two waitresses type of deal. There were maybe 12 tables, mostly occupied by other people on dates. [Sidenote: two of the other diners was a couple that I vaguely recognized from undergrad — you know, a "I'm pretty sure I know them, but also pretty sure they won't recognize me" situation. They left before I had a chance to re-introduce myself.] Nice place (think like, $120 meal for two, reasonably inexpensive bottle of wine included; Anna and I rarely see each other, so something sort of special was appropriate).
By the time of this date, I'd been out with Anna a few times before. I used to drop her a line when I'd figure out that we were about to be in the same city for a night. On one of our previous dates, Anna mentioned that she likes to "collect" pieces of silverware from restaurants, as souvenirs of her meals out. Or something. Basically, she's a chronic silverware thief. The silverware drawer in her kitchen is actually full of mismatched knives, forks, and spoons, which I assume are each from a restaurant she's been to. When Anna first mentioned this habit to me, I added it to the mounting evidence that "this girl's kind of crazy" but expressed my disapproval mildly. I mean, I didn't want to blow the night up by guilting her about stealing forks.
Our date was going pretty well. Anna was in this smashing dress; we'd had a few drinks before dinner; the waitress was charming but not too intrusive; and, like I said, the food was great. I only left the table once, to take a piss (the drinks).
But just after I signed for the check, a waitress I hadn't seen before approached our table and tapped Anna on her shoulder. The waitress laid a piece of the restaurant's fancy cream-colored stationery down on the corner of the table, pointed to something she'd written on it, and leaned in to talk to Anna. "I noticed that you took an interest in our silverware, so I wrote down the name of the brand for you." The waitress said the name of the brand and then turned right around and returned to the kitchen.
Anna was visibly mortified. Turns out she'd snuck a knife off of our table and into her purse! The waitress must have seen it happen. I couldn't believe what was going on; both that my date had tried to steal an item from a table at this nice little restaurant while she was with me and I was paying for her meal, and that, on the spot, the waitress had come up with such an ingenious, passive-aggressive response to this fucking ridiculous behavior. I just put my elbows on the table and did a double-handed facepalm with my mouth open and my eyes bugged out.
:o
It was easy to appreciate the hilarity of the situation, though. Anna kept asking me whether she should reach into her purse to remove the knife and set it back on our table. Because the place was tiny and our table was completely cleared, there was no way to do this discreetly. I just told her that "if it was me, I'd have to leave the knife". I mean, how could anyone walk out with it after being so owned by the wait staff (not to mention the petty theft..."do the right thing," hello)?
My date decided to keep the knife rather than suffer the indignity of searching her purse for it. We like, slunk out of the restaurant as quietly as possible. I never found out when or how she'd moved the knife into her purse.
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@OP, man up and tell her all her faults. If you're gunna give up anyway, might as well try to point out her mistakes. Always a slim chance she'll come through.
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ahaha do i have a story for you guys.
Im not new to dating or girls in any stretch of the imagination but i don't care who you are there will always be a "love at first sight" type of girl.
Basically the story starts out probably around 4 years ago back in grade 10 i believe it was and on my annual family camping trip i meet this amazing girl. She was a little immature and extremely shy but i was able to go crazy for her in the 2 days that i spent with her at the lake. The fact that she was extremely shy and her 9pm curfew her parents gave to her (me and buddies would hold parties on the beach pretty much every night and thats pretty much the perfect time to get some alone time with girls) pretty much meant i couldnt make a move on her.
Ok lets skip ahead 3 years. So camping again at the same spot on the first day im down at the beach i notice her reading a book and i couldnt believe that she was back (Like i said i go to the same lake for an annual camping trip and she wasnt there the last 2). I had completely forgotten about her until that moment but i thought she would still be the same shy girl id known a long time ago so i just moved on and didnt let myself get caught up in her again. After awhile though I could tell she would constantly keep staring at me so, as i knew we would, when we bumped into each other on the trail through the campsites i decided to reconnect with her.
After a whole bunch of chatting and laughing over old times one of the first questions i asked her was if she was still single (ask this to girls you meet! its easy and immediately shows interest so you can lead the conversation away from being friends). Turns out she has been dating a guy for 3 years and that she started going out with him about 2 months after meeting me but they were in the middle of a huge fight and it was obvious that she still wanted a relationship with me and she was still just as shy about it. Another side note is when your going after a girl who currently has a boyfriend you pretty much cant make the first move unless your just going for a one night stand or just a jackass (though those 2 kinda go hand in hand). So i had to wait for this really shy girl to decide what she wanted. Since i had a full time job now being out of high school i only was there with her for 2 days for the long weekend again. So once again even though i was crazy for this girl who obviously thought about me the same way nothing happened.
ok heres where it gets funny. So while i was there i told her my phone number and told her to text her number to mine because i left my phone at home.
1. Ok now heres a side story which ties into it. So while we were there one of the nights at the lake my other good friend was there and he was cheating on his girlfriend (who he left back home) of 2 and a half years with this other girl at the lake.
2. I got home from the lake and i see a text from this random number saying "hey ****** its me"
3. this mystery girl who i thought was the girl i was in love with and i was talking to the entire time was actually my friends girlfriend who he cheated on
4. she was texting about how her boyfriend cheated on her and they were officially broke up after such a long relationship "while at (name of the lake i met the girl) lake". I didnt know she meant while HE was at lake, i thought it was you talking about while SHE was at the lake.
5. So this mystery girl i thought was her starts hitting on me about how shes glad she can finally be free and enjoy other guys like me and that she was going to come "visit" me some night when she started going to school. (I live in the city and she told me at the lake that she was going to move down next year to do her post secondary schooling)
6. So the girl whos texting me keeps hitting on me but then i check the girl 1s facebook and i see shes back with her boyfriend of 3 years after resolving their fight. The texts keep coming so i just ask the girl 2 who is texting me wtf is going on but she never replies. So i facebook message girl 1 asking why she would hit on me when she knew i was in love with her while still going out with her boyfriend and then not respond to my texts.
7. Then she gets all really confused and has no idea whats going on and told me that the text she sent me from the lake to my phone with her number never went through. So i began to wonder who the hell i was texting then that would know so much.
8. So i just let it go and tried to forget about her and this entire thing until at a party with girl 2s ex boyfriend i decided to ask everyone if anyone knew whos number it was and he gives me the biggest WTF face ever as he sees his ex girlfriend started hitting on me pretty much immediately after they broke up.
9. so after that i had to try convince this girl who already had her heart broken that "i had no idea that i was talking to her" as if that would make any sense to any person with a normal life.
So ya, fun stuff
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man i fuck bitches
and get money
i dunno about chu guys
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On October 11 2011 07:07 JWD wrote:Some good posts in this thread. MaliciousMirth's on page 19 is pretty spot on, especially about dating being a numbers game. In my experience, learning to shrug off rejection (at very early stages, like asking for a girl's number) is key. But it is hard. I'm posting just to share a "bad date" story. + Show Spoiler [story] +Earlier this year I was in Boston for one weekend on a loosely school-related function. I decided to stay an extra night to go out with a nice girl who I know through a mutual friend of ours. Call her Anna (made up name). Anna has lived in Boston for a while. We really hit it off the first time we met.
I'm unfamiliar with Boston, so Anna picked the restaurant. I wish I could remember this restaurant's name, because it was fantastic (it's somewhere in Cambridge, I think). Really, one of the best meals I've ever eaten. It was a small, neighborhood place; one head chef and two waitresses type of deal. There were maybe 12 tables, mostly occupied by other people on dates. [Sidenote: two of the other diners was a couple that I vaguely recognized from undergrad — you know, a "I'm pretty sure I know them, but also pretty sure they won't recognize me" situation. They left before I had a chance to re-introduce myself.] Nice place (think like, $120 meal for two, reasonably inexpensive bottle of wine included; Anna and I rarely see each other, so something sort of special was appropriate).
By the time of this date, I'd been out with Anna a few times before. I used to drop her a line when I'd figure out that we were about to be in the same city for a night. On one of our previous dates, Anna mentioned that she likes to "collect" pieces of silverware from restaurants, as souvenirs of her meals out. Or something. Basically, she's a chronic silverware thief. The silverware drawer in her kitchen is actually full of mismatched knives, forks, and spoons, which I assume are all from restaurants she's been to. When Anna first mentioned this habit to me, I added it to the mounting evidence that "this girl's kind of crazy" but expressed only mild disapproval. I mean, I didn't want to blow the night up by guilting her about stealing forks.
Our date was going pretty well. Anna was in this smashing dress; we'd had a few drinks before dinner; the waitress was charming but not too intrusive; and, like I said, the food was great. I only left the table once, to take a piss (the drinks).
But just after I signed for the check, another waitress (not ours) approached our table and tapped Anna on her shoulder. The waitress laid a piece of the restaurant's fancy cream-colored stationery down on the corner of the table, pointed to something she'd written on it, and leaned in to talk to Anna. "I noticed that you took an interest in our silverware, so I wrote down the name of the brand for you." The waitress said the name of the brand and then turned right around and returned to the kitchen.
Anna was visibly mortified. Turns out she'd snuck a knife off of our table and into her purse! The waitress must have seen it happen. I couldn't believe what was going on; both that my date had tried to steal an item from our table at this restaurant while she was with me and I was paying for her meal, and that, on the spot, the waitress had come up with such an ingenious, passive-aggressive response to this fucking ridiculous behavior. I put my elbows on the table and did a double-handed facepalm with my mouth open and my eyes bugged out.
:o
It was easy to appreciate the hilarity of the situation, though. Anna kept asking me whether she should reach into her purse to remove the knife and set it back on our table. Because the place was tiny and our table was completely cleared, there was no way to do this discreetly. I just told her that "if it was me, I'd have to leave the knife". I mean, how could anyone walk out with it after being so owned by the wait staff (not to mention the petty theft..."do the right thing," hello)?
My date decided to keep the knife rather than suffer the indignity of searching her purse for it. We like, slunk out of the restaurant as quietly as possible. I never found out when or how she'd moved the knife into her purse.
LOL. Definitely a symptom of her possibly being batshit crazy. 
So many signs, so little knowledge of them until you find out first-hand.
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Never been in a relationship, I've fancied many girls but the result has always been friendzone'd.
I don't think about relationships much anymore, I figure it'll happen when it happens, might as well enjoy what I have right now.
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On October 11 2011 07:15 ptrpb wrote:
Never been in a relationship, I've fancied many girls but the result has always been friendzone'd.
I don't think about relationships much anymore, I figure it'll happen when it happens, might as well enjoy what I have right now.
StarCraft? Hell yeahhhhhhh!
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Once, I finally got my girlfriend to play a game of StarCraft with me, and she just 6-pooled me.
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On October 11 2011 05:56 xDaunt wrote:Show nested quote +On October 11 2011 05:54 Googity wrote:
Oh and one question... why is it when you first start dating someone, it seems like a million girls pop up out of the woodwork wanting to hang out then as soon as your single they disappear? I've had this happen more times than I can count. Because girls are jealous creatures.
More specifically, it has to do with pre-screening, a phenomenon similar to the bandwagon effect: if other people find someone attractive enough to date, then someone else has already done the homework for you to determine that the person is a suitable mate. Conversely, no girl wants to date a man that no one else wants. Additionally, women are competitive with each other, and stealing someone else's man is a huge self-esteem boost. The scarcity principle also applies, where the married man is more attractive because he's less attainable.
There was actually a study where researchers from Oklahoma State University described a man to single women with the only variable being whether he was single or married. The results found that whereas 59% of the women were interested in pursuing a relationship with the single man, 90% were interested in pursuing a relationship with the married man. Similar results happened when they showed identical pictures of a man labelled single and labelled married; the married man was deemed more attractive by most single women.
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I've gotta pretty bad story. Bit of background to me - I've only had 1 relationship (I'm 22) and this isn't about her. This is about a girl - who I had liked previously during 2nd & 3rd year of University.
Basically, I met this girl (say her name was Janice) in 2nd year uni in one of my Class Tutorials. Let's just say that I was a pretty typical Asian - pretty shy, but can be social if comfortable with the other people, didn't have too many friends starting out in University, etc etc.
She had been assigned to the same group as me for the class project that we got (mainly because we were kinda late to the first tutorial). So there - began the eventual journey of my 2nd & 3rd years of University liking this one girl. She was a pretty bright and vibrant girl, intelligent and independent with a clear focus on her emphasis on career - which were all ticks in my categories. hahah.
It's a bit freaky what happened soemtiems though. hahaha. Like - while working on the assignment with her - she would sometimes lean over to use the keyboard (using the same computer) to do something and then her boob would like, brush up on my arm. hahaha. I was like O_O;;;; what should i do? If imove my arm , she'll think i'm a bit creepy for noticing that. If i don't - what if she thinks im a creep for not moving my arm!!
So I did what most people would do, i just grabbed them ...
Just kidding. I just let my arm stay there. hahah. And it's just these kinda things that made me like her more and more (we'd be talking a lot as well).
Eventually, 2nd year finished and I was away working kinda full time hours at a part-time job - so basically had no time to see her.
And then come 3rd year - we actually had enrolled in the same lectures for some courses. So I actually had a chance to see her more and more. This was when I was actually introduced to her friends as well. I actually got on with them quite well really. Until I had found out that some of her friends were also interested in her as well. Which was kinda like ... zzzz competition -.-""
But - that is how I met one of her friends (lets call him John). John had a girlfriend already that he had met through an internship that they did together. (John also had met Janice there as well), so everyone was all interconnected.
3rd year went by pretty fast - and in the meanwhile - I was getting a bit depressed because I wouldn't be able to handle the fact that it seemed like she treated all guys the same way that she treated me .. which kinda made me think - am I in the friendzone or not?
Regardless - I soldiered on and had started to hang out with her & her friends more, and taking her out to dinner/movies whenever we were free (note that I was actually paying for her as well).
Anyway, I told John that I like Janice (because we were kinda getting along pretty well), and he started to help me with it. Started giving me advice, etc etc.
But then - I kinda noticed John & Janice getting closer .. and it was like passive-aggressive flirting that they did ... I kinda shrugged it off because John had a gf already and didn't think he'd be the type to kinda back stab me.... boy was I wrong.
A month or 2 after christmas (of 3rd/final year uni) I actually found out that John broke up with his gf and was dating Janice now.
I was completely cut, especially since i found out through John's ex.
They've been going out on-and-off since then and they seem to be in a pretty volatile relationship. IE; they break up- and the nget back to gether .. rinse and repeat.
But yeah ... TL;DR - I got shot down after working on a girl for like 2 years or so by a "close friend" who broke up with his ex to get with that girl.
I talked with Janice - and she said that she felt that I deserved better ... I wonder how many people have heard that excuse before? It's like - if I like you that much - it doesn't matter, esp if I'd be happy with them. =/
But anyway - that's all history now.
I met my girlfriend properly around 5 months ago .. and started dating 4 months ago 
No games or anything; and I completely love her!! ^__^ (it's our 4 months today actually).
Funny how I made an impression on my gf atm though. hahah. First time I met her (cocktail ball) - I was like to her "I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!" (my friend had told me) hahahaha. She was like "WTF?! " hahahah.
And then the next time I saw her we went Karaoke with a group of friends .. Lady gaga song was playing (Bad romance) and I was dancing to it ... hahahaha.
And it's all been sweet memories since then!
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i've had a few relationships starting in highschool. My 1st longterm relationship was 16 months from freshman year to sophomore year in highschool (o.O) and my second longterm relationship was 2nd semester senior year about a year or so into college. I'm 21 now and in the past I would've characterized myself as the kind sensitive type (had my fair share of hookups leading into: "you're too nice" or "you're too good a friend" or "but you remind me of my brother!") and it made me slightly bitter towards women I was attracted to, so I kinda started subconsciously acting like an asshole or not showing interest at all. I really hated myself sometimes, but girls would be down to hook up despite never wanting a relationship. When there is someone I am really into though, I find its best to act yourself, see where it goes, and keep expectations low
Edit: Lol forgot to include what NOT to write in a booty call, ever. I was DJing at this warehouse party in Brooklyn a couple years back, and this girl I had a little thing with texted me telling me she was there and whatever, but at the end of the text she wrote, "tryina get that D." So I was like lol wtf???? Saw her that night but she had to leave early and I was just like haha I'll hit her up later. So about 2 weeks later, at a friends recommendation I drunkenly texted her being like, "You still tryina get that D?" and never heard back from her since... hahahahahhaa my friends and I are still laughing at that one
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MY relationships have been pretty solid and easy and they are easy cause I tell the girl hey I play video games if you dont like it dont date me
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Bad date story:
Had a good platonic friend for... ~13-14 years starting in college, and never thought of her as more of a friend until all of a sudden I kind of fell for her. Really awkward sort-of-kind-of asked her out, finally got her on a real date, which is really weird, again, having been friends for 13-14 years. We have a nice dinner, she wants to get gelato. I'm lactose intolerant, but somehow had never had gelato before. I assumed it was like sorbet or something, but it's obviously not when I get it, but I eat it anyway because you know, on a date and all. It turns out gelato has more lactose than ice cream, so now I'm on a time limit till disaster.
At the end of the evening, I drive her back to her place to drop her off, but it's our first date, so it's got that fun-but-scary "are we going to kiss or hug or what?" thing going on. I want to get out and walk her to her door so we can do our goodbyes, but if I do, I might crap myself. So, we stay in the car, about whatever stupid stuff we're talking about to kill the time while we figure out what we're going to do, and meanwhile, my bowels are getting angrier and louder. For like 20 minutes, with the car getting hotter and stuffier and the windows fogging up, I'm sitting there, starting to break out in a sweat, trying with all my concentration to hold in a giant liquid poo-splosion while I smile and tell stupid jokes. I'm saying, "hey, that was really funny today when blah blah blah and when you blah blah blah" but I'm thinking "oh god, please don't crap my pants, please don't crap my pants - the pressure is about to make me pop, I hope this bubble is just gas because I have to let some out, oh thank god that was just gas, does it smell? I can't tell, because all I can think about are the intense pain in my bowels and hey look boobs".
Anyway, I kissed her. It was awesome, I was on top of the world. Wait, but before you think this is a good date story, she broke up with me a few months later, and now we don't talk, so in addition for not getting the girl, I lost a good friend. Love stinks!
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I had a few crushes and short relationships in middle/ high school, but then senior year I started to go out with the girl who I've been with for the past 6 years. Made it through college (long distance), graduate school, and currently making it through our respective doctorate programs now
She also went to IPL3 with me, she's real, and she's attractive.
::shrugs:: I never really found relationships hard, and I'm not the most handsome or confident guy in the group.
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On October 11 2011 05:40 Deadeight wrote:
Been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years now, all is great with her.
Before that I had a few odd ones:
-I was halfway through a comedy movie with one girl at the cinema, and I laughed at something, and she said something to the effect of "That's really inappropriate", and upon asking why I found out she was a devout christian, but I'd thought she was joking and may have offended her a little.
Turns out it all went back to where a few weeks before my friend as a joke had signed my name on the christian club list (which had about 4 people in, in a school of thousands) and she'd come after me.
We sat the rest out in silence and just said "Nice to meet you, bye" at the end.
-When I was a lot younger, I went on a date with a girl and she asked if I liked skiing, and I said "Yah... yah, yah, yah, I really like it yah..." and I just got stuck in a loop of saying "yah", and she just sat there looking at me, and I just kept saying "yah". Honestly it was like one of those things you see on terrible sitcoms. I got really embarrassed and stopped talking and we just sat there awkwardly.
-I've been on a few where I've turned up expecting to find a bunch of people, then it turns out it's just me and a girl, and it's a girl I've looked at as a friend, and it turns out I was completely oblivious to having been going on a date.
-Went to a party with one girl and she took the next door neighbours cancer pain killers (pretty sure it was morphine), and her friend passed out from them, and this girl thought her friend was going to die. She didn't call an ambulance in case she got in trouble, just sat there crying thinking her friend was dying. Everyone else was just drinking, then someone finds them in a bedroom and slaps her friend awake, but I hear about the whole thing. Never see her again.
Probably a lot more.
Bahahaha I thought I was the only one this shit had happened too. I only figured out it was a date with the help of my friends the next day. God I am retarded.
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On October 11 2011 09:04 groms wrote:Show nested quote +On October 11 2011 05:40 Deadeight wrote:
Been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years now, all is great with her.
Before that I had a few odd ones:
-I was halfway through a comedy movie with one girl at the cinema, and I laughed at something, and she said something to the effect of "That's really inappropriate", and upon asking why I found out she was a devout christian, but I'd thought she was joking and may have offended her a little.
Turns out it all went back to where a few weeks before my friend as a joke had signed my name on the christian club list (which had about 4 people in, in a school of thousands) and she'd come after me.
We sat the rest out in silence and just said "Nice to meet you, bye" at the end.
-When I was a lot younger, I went on a date with a girl and she asked if I liked skiing, and I said "Yah... yah, yah, yah, I really like it yah..." and I just got stuck in a loop of saying "yah", and she just sat there looking at me, and I just kept saying "yah". Honestly it was like one of those things you see on terrible sitcoms. I got really embarrassed and stopped talking and we just sat there awkwardly.
-I've been on a few where I've turned up expecting to find a bunch of people, then it turns out it's just me and a girl, and it's a girl I've looked at as a friend, and it turns out I was completely oblivious to having been going on a date.
-Went to a party with one girl and she took the next door neighbours cancer pain killers (pretty sure it was morphine), and her friend passed out from them, and this girl thought her friend was going to die. She didn't call an ambulance in case she got in trouble, just sat there crying thinking her friend was dying. Everyone else was just drinking, then someone finds them in a bedroom and slaps her friend awake, but I hear about the whole thing. Never see her again.
Probably a lot more. Bahahaha I thought I was the only one this shit had happened too. I only figured out it was a date with the help of my friends the next day. God I am retarded.
Sounds like Day[9]'s Valentine's Day story hahahaha.
Were you wearing a nice shirt? Cologne? Was she wearing a scarf?
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On October 11 2011 09:06 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On October 11 2011 09:04 groms wrote:On October 11 2011 05:40 Deadeight wrote:
Been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years now, all is great with her.
Before that I had a few odd ones:
-I was halfway through a comedy movie with one girl at the cinema, and I laughed at something, and she said something to the effect of "That's really inappropriate", and upon asking why I found out she was a devout christian, but I'd thought she was joking and may have offended her a little.
Turns out it all went back to where a few weeks before my friend as a joke had signed my name on the christian club list (which had about 4 people in, in a school of thousands) and she'd come after me.
We sat the rest out in silence and just said "Nice to meet you, bye" at the end.
-When I was a lot younger, I went on a date with a girl and she asked if I liked skiing, and I said "Yah... yah, yah, yah, I really like it yah..." and I just got stuck in a loop of saying "yah", and she just sat there looking at me, and I just kept saying "yah". Honestly it was like one of those things you see on terrible sitcoms. I got really embarrassed and stopped talking and we just sat there awkwardly.
-I've been on a few where I've turned up expecting to find a bunch of people, then it turns out it's just me and a girl, and it's a girl I've looked at as a friend, and it turns out I was completely oblivious to having been going on a date.
-Went to a party with one girl and she took the next door neighbours cancer pain killers (pretty sure it was morphine), and her friend passed out from them, and this girl thought her friend was going to die. She didn't call an ambulance in case she got in trouble, just sat there crying thinking her friend was dying. Everyone else was just drinking, then someone finds them in a bedroom and slaps her friend awake, but I hear about the whole thing. Never see her again.
Probably a lot more. Bahahaha I thought I was the only one this shit had happened too. I only figured out it was a date with the help of my friends the next day. God I am retarded. Sounds like Day[9]'s Valentine's Day story hahahaha. Were you wearing a nice shirt? Cologne? Was she wearing a scarf?
Nah it was after work and she told me she had plans with some friends to go get some drinks and I was like FUCK YEA DRINKS(my job sucked @@).
She was the bosses daughter and I had no intentions of getting with her nor did I think she had her eye on me(I'm pretty aloof and I don't usually think girls are into me). I am clearly thinking we are just buddies going out to get drinks and then she's like:
"I'm hungry are you hungry?"
and I'm like:
"yea I could eat"
So we grab some food and get to know each other better(god in hindsight I really am fucking retarded). We talk about stuff and school and people at work.
Anyhow the night ended(no funny business) and we had been on a moonlight walk and had dinner and drinks and somehow even though she must have texted her friends a bunch of times they never showed.
I finally realized she was into me when she started hugging me before she left every day at work -_-
Ah well
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On October 11 2011 09:24 groms wrote:Show nested quote +On October 11 2011 09:06 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On October 11 2011 09:04 groms wrote:On October 11 2011 05:40 Deadeight wrote:
Been going out with my girlfriend for 3 years now, all is great with her.
Before that I had a few odd ones:
-I was halfway through a comedy movie with one girl at the cinema, and I laughed at something, and she said something to the effect of "That's really inappropriate", and upon asking why I found out she was a devout christian, but I'd thought she was joking and may have offended her a little.
Turns out it all went back to where a few weeks before my friend as a joke had signed my name on the christian club list (which had about 4 people in, in a school of thousands) and she'd come after me.
We sat the rest out in silence and just said "Nice to meet you, bye" at the end.
-When I was a lot younger, I went on a date with a girl and she asked if I liked skiing, and I said "Yah... yah, yah, yah, I really like it yah..." and I just got stuck in a loop of saying "yah", and she just sat there looking at me, and I just kept saying "yah". Honestly it was like one of those things you see on terrible sitcoms. I got really embarrassed and stopped talking and we just sat there awkwardly.
-I've been on a few where I've turned up expecting to find a bunch of people, then it turns out it's just me and a girl, and it's a girl I've looked at as a friend, and it turns out I was completely oblivious to having been going on a date.
-Went to a party with one girl and she took the next door neighbours cancer pain killers (pretty sure it was morphine), and her friend passed out from them, and this girl thought her friend was going to die. She didn't call an ambulance in case she got in trouble, just sat there crying thinking her friend was dying. Everyone else was just drinking, then someone finds them in a bedroom and slaps her friend awake, but I hear about the whole thing. Never see her again.
Probably a lot more. Bahahaha I thought I was the only one this shit had happened too. I only figured out it was a date with the help of my friends the next day. God I am retarded. Sounds like Day[9]'s Valentine's Day story hahahaha. Were you wearing a nice shirt? Cologne? Was she wearing a scarf? Nah it was after work and she told me she had plans with some friends to go get some drinks and I was like FUCK YEA DRINKS(my job sucked @@). She was the bosses daughter and I had no intentions of getting with her nor did I think she had her eye on me(I'm pretty aloof and I don't usually think girls are into me). I am clearly thinking we are just buddies going out to get drinks and then she's like: "I'm hungry are you hungry?" and I'm like: "yea I could eat" So we grab some food and get to know each other better(god in hindsight I really am fucking retarded). We talk about stuff and school and people at work. Anyhow the night ended(no funny business) and we had been on a moonlight walk and had dinner and drinks and somehow even though she must have texted her friends a bunch of times they never showed. I finally realized she was into me when she started hugging me before she left every day at work -_- Ah well
In retrospect, it seems pretty obvious, but the casual nature of the situation probably made it easy to overlook the date scenario at the time. As long as she wasn't getting mixed signals, considering she was your boss's daughter x.x
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Thanks man I feel a little better now.
Edit: Oh to be clear it wasn't like I knew her boss, she was the CEO's daughter and I never met the guy. Also she was only one year younger than me. Sorry, I just realized I wasn't too clear and I think I might have given the impression I was much older than her.
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EPT
