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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On July 13 2013 05:55 BigAsia wrote:Show nested quote +On July 13 2013 00:28 Shiori wrote: I'm not going to do nothing. I'm going to keep doing the things I need to do, like mathematics, working, and finishing my novel. I have no intention of just sitting around all day brooding. That said, I'm not really interested in meeting girls or starting another relationship at the moment, because my emotions are rather unstable and because I'm not confident in my ability to think totally clearly about relationships right now. The last thing I want is to rebound and end up hurting some girl who thinks I'm seriously into her.
I don't post pics lol this isn't misc. Thats the thing brah, why even jump into a serious relationship when you just got out of one. You're 21 have sum fun I don't have any interest in hook ups or "just for fun" relationships. They're a waste of time. I don't crave sex so badly that I can't go without it for a week, and aside from sex, hookups have nothing to offer me.
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Well. Met a wonderful girl with the same interests, she likes legend of zelda, games in general, we have the same music taste. We can talk for like hours and have a really good time. She lives in the other part of the country. Fml.
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Sucks if you're Russian, suck it up if your Belgique
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Bigasia you decreased thread quality from 4/10 to 2/10. Brah
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On July 13 2013 07:48 B.I.G. wrote: Sucks if you're Russian, suck it up if your Belgique Hungary, so not that bad. Though I cant afford to meet her like every week, as I'm only 17..
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On July 13 2013 07:59 Kleinmuuhg wrote: Bigasia you decreased thread quality from 4/10 to 2/10. Brah
feelsbadman
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Dont feel bad, you bought TL+.
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On July 13 2013 00:28 Shiori wrote: I'm not going to do nothing. I'm going to keep doing the things I need to do, like mathematics, working, and finishing my novel. I have no intention of just sitting around all day brooding. That said, I'm not really interested in meeting girls or starting another relationship at the moment, because my emotions are rather unstable and because I'm not confident in my ability to think totally clearly about relationships right now. The last thing I want is to rebound and end up hurting some girl who thinks I'm seriously into her.
I don't post pics lol this isn't misc.
I think taking a little break from dating is perfectly fine, since you seem pretty heartbroken over your ex. You don't really need immediate rebounds. It'll get easier with time.
Also, math > girls
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Ok I never thought I would write my recent experience, but I guess this is also a good way to get over it :p Sorry in advance for the long read.
There is this incredibly hot chick who is a receptionist at the place I work. Not the most sophisticated woman I have ever met but really pretty. She is 23 and I'm 28. 6 months ago, after I broke up my my ex-girlfriend (I had been with for 1 year and who is in the same work too :s) I started seducing her in the old fashion way : Sense of humour + Confidence. It worked pretty well and I had my first lunch with her 3 weeks after and my first date on a week end shortly after. I was a happy man as she looked to be very tender and shy - the exact opposite from my precedent girlfriend and I wanted to give it a try. That was in February. Since then, she has kept playing with me and I implicitely accepted it. We were talking every day at work (by email or in face to face) and it was really pleasant. The thing is she was always finding an excuse not to see eachother outside of the workplace. Her explanations were always dramatic : - Her parents were divorcing - Her mom is over-possessive - Her grand ma is about to die - Very dramatic precedent relationship - ect ... This has been going for months and all in all, we have seen eachother 4 times in the week end + a few lunches close to the workplace She forgot my birthay and did not support me at all when I broke my shoulder and was incapacited for 2 weeks. She was asking me for time as she had to recover from her past relationship. I let all of this happen with not so strong reactions. I tried a few times to get things more straight but she was always giving me dramatic reasons. She promised me things will get better soon - in August. I was believing her. As I was not seeing her and start to have doubts, I dated another girl (from my workplace again :s) in secret - who is now back to England - for a few weeks.
Last wednesday I ask her out for restaurant and she declined - pretending she was very sick and that she just learned from the day before she had tyrhoid and also that she was feeling unwell because of her humiliating mother. Wesdnesay night I send her texts with the "we need to talk" crap. She is never getting my phonecalls so we are texting eachother. She replied me that she was very hurt by my message, bla bla bla. Thursday, we talked very little at work. I was concerned about where this was going and decided to tell the truth to my ex-girlfriend who I am very good friend with. She was amazed I was accepting all this crap and was being used in such obvious way, telling me she is just wanting to keep me close 'in case of'. So my ex convinced me to ignore her for the next 2 months (ouch!) - to show her who is the guy with the balls. On this night, I received a text from my "girlfriend" telling me she almost get raped. I offered her to call me but she turned the offer down, pretending she wanted to sleep. I did not reply after this and resume my sleep, 99,99% convinced she was not reacting like someone who almost get raped. She just wants me to remain under her control. On Friday, I did not reply any of her messages and stopped by the reception office with my ex (who is really pretty, ofc she is my ex :p) to make her jealous (it worked:p). She sent me a couple of messages, getting angry not to get any answer from me. One of her message was "You don't care of what could have happened to me yesterday night?". I did not reply although I felt really bad. Plan is to keep ignoring her for the next weeks, not sure I'll succeed though :p
I really feel terrible to have been used by this attractive 23 year old girl who has been using overdramatic lies to get what she wants from me. I just think this girl is mentally sick and I did not suspect it at all. Conclusion is that I will be tougher with girls now and stop being the "kind and supportive" guy.
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It seems the prettier girls are always more likely to be insecure.
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On July 13 2013 20:30 Frenchguy wrote: Ok I never thought I would write my recent experience, but I guess this is also a good way to get over it :p Sorry in advance for the long read.
There is this incredibly hot chick who is a receptionist at the place I work. Not the most sophisticated woman I have ever met but really pretty. She is 23 and I'm 28. 6 months ago, after I broke up my my ex-girlfriend (I had been with for 1 year and who is in the same work too :s) I started seducing her in the old fashion way : Sense of humour + Confidence. It worked pretty well and I had my first lunch with her 3 weeks after and my first date on a week end shortly after. I was a happy man as she looked to be very tender and shy - the exact opposite from my precedent girlfriend and I wanted to give it a try. That was in February. Since then, she has kept playing with me and I implicitely accepted it. We were talking every day at work (by email or in face to face) and it was really pleasant. The thing is she was always finding an excuse not to see eachother outside of the workplace. Her explanations were always dramatic : - Her parents were divorcing - Her mom is over-possessive - Her grand ma is about to die - Very dramatic precedent relationship - ect ... This has been going for months and all in all, we have seen eachother 4 times in the week end + a few lunches close to the workplace She forgot my birthay and did not support me at all when I broke my shoulder and was incapacited for 2 weeks. She was asking me for time as she had to recover from her past relationship. I let all of this happen with not so strong reactions. I tried a few times to get things more straight but she was always giving me dramatic reasons. She promised me things will get better soon - in August. I was believing her. As I was not seeing her and start to have doubts, I dated another girl (from my workplace again :s) in secret - who is now back to England - for a few weeks.
Last wednesday I ask her out for restaurant and she declined - pretending she was very sick and that she just learned from the day before she had tyrhoid and also that she was feeling unwell because of her humiliating mother. Wesdnesay night I send her texts with the "we need to talk" crap. She is never getting my phonecalls so we are texting eachother. She replied me that she was very hurt by my message, bla bla bla. Thursday, we talked very little at work. I was concerned about where this was going and decided to tell the truth to my ex-girlfriend who I am very good friend with. She was amazed I was accepting all this crap and was being used in such obvious way, telling me she is just wanting to keep me close 'in case of'. So my ex convinced me to ignore her for the next 2 months (ouch!) - to show her who is the guy with the balls. On this night, I received a text from my "girlfriend" telling me she almost get raped. I offered her to call me but she turned the offer down, pretending she wanted to sleep. I did not reply after this and resume my sleep, 99,99% convinced she was not reacting like someone who almost get raped. She just wants me to remain under her control. On Friday, I did not reply any of her messages and stopped by the reception office with my ex (who is really pretty, ofc she is my ex :p) to make her jealous (it worked:p). She sent me a couple of messages, getting angry not to get any answer from me. One of her message was "You don't care of what could have happened to me yesterday night?". I did not reply although I felt really bad. Plan is to keep ignoring her for the next weeks, not sure I'll succeed though :p
I really feel terrible to have been used by this attractive 23 year old girl who has been using overdramatic lies to get what she wants from me. I just think this girl is mentally sick and I did not suspect it at all. Conclusion is that I will be tougher with girls now and stop being the "kind and supportive" guy.
Man you took too much crap giving her too much power. As soon as they start giving you bullshit just start ignoring them.
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On July 11 2013 01:38 docvoc wrote:Show nested quote +On July 10 2013 23:51 Dandy_Moustachu wrote:On July 10 2013 05:28 Nouar wrote: tired to only get solo-moms. Even when they are so fucking hot and younger than me. 2013 count is 5. Solo-mom are this terrible ? I mean, as long as they are looking for a relationship and not for a new father for their child, i could see this work. Solo moms tend to be looking for a guy who can take over the fatherly role. It would be bad if they dated around and the child experienced the mom not sticking to one person, it tends to produce irregularities in the household and it can be bad for children. Also, single moms tend to understand that the fact that they have a kid is a huge turnoff to guys in many cases, not just for the obvious facts that the kid costs money and is not the man's own, but also for the fact that, more unconsciously speaking, the man wants to produce his own generations and not worry about helping continue on the lineage of another man's successful continuation (that would be strictly from the point of view of a biological psychologist at least). Solomoms do have a kind of mature sexyness to them, and not all girls mature fast, some look their best in their mid 30-s to 40-s when everyone else is falling off, but they just hit their peak.
You're not wrong but that's not exactly the point. Being a geek I was quite shut-in for a long time, and only 6/7 years only started to have normal girlfriend. And for the last 6/7 years my gfs were like teenagers or students. Without money, and no easily foreseeable future (getting a work away after studies etc). Right now what I'm looking for is a girl I can start living with, going on trips with... well just living and enjoying for a few years before kids.
I'm not against kids, even from other dads, in fact I nearly barely went out with a mom of 5 ranging from 6 to 18yo (yeah I know, but she's 36, works, and is so fucking hot, but she decided at (even later than that, lol since she cheated on him and dumped him for me) the last moment not to dump her guy finally (not the father). Strange year really, never happened before -I'm average looking-).
But I don't want to be burdened by low-age kids impeding all possibilities of travels and going out (since most of them have no jobs, being solo mom with young babies IS hard.) I've never lived with someone, so before the kids, let's just do that please. One step at a time in my life :-)
As for your post, yes. Some of them desperately want a father and you can't tell if they love you or are just desperate. But it's rare. The others either want you for themselves, they take care of the kids (case of the 5 kids one), another is just enjoying her time alone by having fuck buddies, since she couldn't for a long time, another was just starved for xxx cause she's a little lost... Still, most of the time it IS about the kids and how hard it is to find someone willing to, even if you say and think you just want a boyfriend and she takes care of the kids. They despair >< Half of the time they were at fault making babies with a guy they never should have, the other half the guy turns out a psychopath after the baby. Sigh. I should write an essay.
edit : dat mother of 5, 36yo :
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hey bros
So for the last 4 months i've been chillen with my best friends ex of 2 years because she is like the only one in town in our circle of friends aaaand over this time we've both developed feelings for each other that are more than physical. We never kissed or had sex, just a lot of cuddling and stuff while we watched shows and we have come to realize that we are prety compatible. shes still close to her ex, my best friend, whatever but their strong feelings for each other are dead. i know the best thing to do in this situation is just to distance myself away from her and find some other girl but i really don't want to. im just looking for advice on maybe what should i do or say to my best friend to not have him think way less of me and his ex if we started dating.
and if you are wondering about age me and my best friend are 23 while his ex is 22
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On July 14 2013 04:32 Funshines wrote: hey bros
So for the last 4 months i've been chillen with my best friends ex of 2 years because she is like the only one in town in our circle of friends aaaand over this time we've both developed feelings for each other that are more than physical. We never kissed or had sex, just a lot of cuddling and stuff while we watched shows and we have come to realize that we are prety compatible. shes still close to her ex, my best friend, whatever but their strong feelings for each other are dead. i know the best thing to do in this situation is just to distance myself away from her and find some other girl but i really don't want to. im just looking for advice on maybe what should i do or say to my best friend to not have him think way less of me and his ex if we started dating.
and if you are wondering about age me and my best friend are 23 while his ex is 22
Really depends on your best friend's personality and who you would miss more in your life. If he's pretty chill I could see it working out, if not its probably her or your friend. And in that case it comes down to - make myself happy or make some other dude that im close to happy
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On July 14 2013 04:32 Funshines wrote: hey bros
So for the last 4 months i've been chillen with my best friends ex of 2 years because she is like the only one in town in our circle of friends aaaand over this time we've both developed feelings for each other that are more than physical. We never kissed or had sex, just a lot of cuddling and stuff while we watched shows and we have come to realize that we are prety compatible. shes still close to her ex, my best friend, whatever but their strong feelings for each other are dead. i know the best thing to do in this situation is just to distance myself away from her and find some other girl but i really don't want to. im just looking for advice on maybe what should i do or say to my best friend to not have him think way less of me and his ex if we started dating.
and if you are wondering about age me and my best friend are 23 while his ex is 22
Have you talked to your friend about it at all?
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On July 14 2013 10:21 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2013 04:32 Funshines wrote: hey bros
So for the last 4 months i've been chillen with my best friends ex of 2 years because she is like the only one in town in our circle of friends aaaand over this time we've both developed feelings for each other that are more than physical. We never kissed or had sex, just a lot of cuddling and stuff while we watched shows and we have come to realize that we are prety compatible. shes still close to her ex, my best friend, whatever but their strong feelings for each other are dead. i know the best thing to do in this situation is just to distance myself away from her and find some other girl but i really don't want to. im just looking for advice on maybe what should i do or say to my best friend to not have him think way less of me and his ex if we started dating.
and if you are wondering about age me and my best friend are 23 while his ex is 22
Have you talked to your friend about it at all?
not yet, he isn't in town but i plan to before i go anywhere with his ex. i just don't know how to go about the conversation.
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On July 14 2013 11:06 Funshines wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2013 10:21 Najda wrote:On July 14 2013 04:32 Funshines wrote: hey bros
So for the last 4 months i've been chillen with my best friends ex of 2 years because she is like the only one in town in our circle of friends aaaand over this time we've both developed feelings for each other that are more than physical. We never kissed or had sex, just a lot of cuddling and stuff while we watched shows and we have come to realize that we are prety compatible. shes still close to her ex, my best friend, whatever but their strong feelings for each other are dead. i know the best thing to do in this situation is just to distance myself away from her and find some other girl but i really don't want to. im just looking for advice on maybe what should i do or say to my best friend to not have him think way less of me and his ex if we started dating.
and if you are wondering about age me and my best friend are 23 while his ex is 22
Have you talked to your friend about it at all? not yet, he isn't in town but i plan to before i go anywhere with his ex. i just don't know how to go about the conversation.
"Hey would you be cool if (ex's name) and I got together?"
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Guys I need help. I don't want to make a blog out of this because I don't want to make an inane girl blog on this topic. I need help learning to trust my gf. She hasn't done anything wrong outside of a crush she had on one dude that ended 9 months ago. I'll admit that it really shook me up, but I don't understand what is wrong with me. I had a a fucking nightmare and then woke up and thought she was cheating after I had a call with her while she was at an environmental institute where some dudes were playing "guess the cupsize" with her and a bunch of girls in the room. I had this immense fear that she had cheated on me, when I know she loves me more than anything else and cherishes our relationship. She was just being social and I just freaked the fuck out. I feel like an idiot now and I feel like I need to work on this. How do I work on this? This is the second time she has gone off to a camp and I've had this reaciton. What the fuck do I do?
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On July 14 2013 11:28 Najda wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2013 11:06 Funshines wrote:On July 14 2013 10:21 Najda wrote:On July 14 2013 04:32 Funshines wrote: hey bros
So for the last 4 months i've been chillen with my best friends ex of 2 years because she is like the only one in town in our circle of friends aaaand over this time we've both developed feelings for each other that are more than physical. We never kissed or had sex, just a lot of cuddling and stuff while we watched shows and we have come to realize that we are prety compatible. shes still close to her ex, my best friend, whatever but their strong feelings for each other are dead. i know the best thing to do in this situation is just to distance myself away from her and find some other girl but i really don't want to. im just looking for advice on maybe what should i do or say to my best friend to not have him think way less of me and his ex if we started dating.
and if you are wondering about age me and my best friend are 23 while his ex is 22
Have you talked to your friend about it at all? not yet, he isn't in town but i plan to before i go anywhere with his ex. i just don't know how to go about the conversation. "Hey would you be cool if (ex's name) and I got together?" figured that route would just have him not think about it and just say no. him and his ex dated for like two years then he ended it. idk ill think of something i guess
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On July 14 2013 12:21 Funshines wrote:Show nested quote +On July 14 2013 11:28 Najda wrote:On July 14 2013 11:06 Funshines wrote:On July 14 2013 10:21 Najda wrote:On July 14 2013 04:32 Funshines wrote: hey bros
So for the last 4 months i've been chillen with my best friends ex of 2 years because she is like the only one in town in our circle of friends aaaand over this time we've both developed feelings for each other that are more than physical. We never kissed or had sex, just a lot of cuddling and stuff while we watched shows and we have come to realize that we are prety compatible. shes still close to her ex, my best friend, whatever but their strong feelings for each other are dead. i know the best thing to do in this situation is just to distance myself away from her and find some other girl but i really don't want to. im just looking for advice on maybe what should i do or say to my best friend to not have him think way less of me and his ex if we started dating.
and if you are wondering about age me and my best friend are 23 while his ex is 22
Have you talked to your friend about it at all? not yet, he isn't in town but i plan to before i go anywhere with his ex. i just don't know how to go about the conversation. "Hey would you be cool if (ex's name) and I got together?" figured that route would just have him not think about it and just say no. him and his ex dated for like two years then he ended it. idk ill think of something i guess
Why did they end their relationship? Does he have bad thoughts about her that would make him say no? If not he'll probably be cool with it and appreciate you saying something ahead of time.
On July 14 2013 12:17 docvoc wrote: Guys I need help. I don't want to make a blog out of this because I don't want to make an inane girl blog on this topic. I need help learning to trust my gf. She hasn't done anything wrong outside of a crush she had on one dude that ended 9 months ago. I'll admit that it really shook me up, but I don't understand what is wrong with me. I had a a fucking nightmare and then woke up and thought she was cheating after I had a call with her while she was at an environmental institute where some dudes were playing "guess the cupsize" with her and a bunch of girls in the room. I had this immense fear that she had cheated on me, when I know she loves me more than anything else and cherishes our relationship. She was just being social and I just freaked the fuck out. I feel like an idiot now and I feel like I need to work on this. How do I work on this? This is the second time she has gone off to a camp and I've had this reaciton. What the fuck do I do?
You need to figure out why you can't trust you're significant other before anything else. Why do you have trust issues when they have shown nothing at all or done anything at all to make you think about them cheating on you. Has someone broken that trust in the past etc. Have you had this feeling with another gf or ex perhaps or is it just her etc.
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