EPTHaving a child - Page 2
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bonifaceviii
Canada2890 Posts
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MasterBlasterCaster
United States568 Posts
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achristes
Norway653 Posts
On December 22 2011 02:39 Kralic wrote: What class is this for? That will sway my answer a bit. English class, about youth problems (especially in Britain). | ||
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Grumbels
Netherlands7032 Posts
On December 22 2011 02:43 Myles wrote: While I never directly said it, it's implied through the second sentence. I also think it's kind of ironic that guys seem to hold all the responsibility in the situation. The girl also decided to have sex and take on the potential consequences. The fact that there are alternatives to having the child is where a lot of complications are involved, too. Suppose you view contraception, morning-after pills and abortion as ways for women to prevent having a child, with condoms being the option for men, then where's the difference? Both have ways to prevent it, if you count on your partner preventing it you can't later on complain she didn't do a good job of it. | ||
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OmniEulogy
Canada6600 Posts
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danl9rm
United States3111 Posts
On December 22 2011 02:20 mucker wrote: I don't think it is a hard question at all. When you choose to do something you must take full responsibility for the outcome whether or not everything goes the way you wanted it do. This applies to all facets of life. Me and mucker appear to agree perfectly, even if he made a typo. | ||
Myles
United States5162 Posts
On December 22 2011 02:53 Grumbels wrote: Suppose you view contraception, morning-after pills and abortion as ways for women to prevent having a child, with condoms being the option for men, then where's the difference? Both have ways to prevent it, if you count on your partner preventing it you can't later on complain she didn't do a good job of it. You're putting words in my mouth. In my initial post I specifically said an honest mistake - as in the condom broke or something similar. My very next sentence was that it's wrong for a guy to go out impregnating women without worry. | ||
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bonifaceviii
Canada2890 Posts
On December 22 2011 03:03 Myles wrote: You're putting words in my mouth. I specifically said an honest mistake - as in the condom broke or something similar. My very next sentence was that it's wrong for a guy to go out impregnating women without worry. A good rule of thumb to follow in life is that nothing is 100% risk-free, especially contraception. It is still possible, even when taking birth control pills exactly as directed, for a woman to become pregnant while using them. By having sex with a girl with a condom you are (even if you're not) accepting the risk of the unlikely situation where A) the condom breaks, B) the girl becomes pregnant and C) she wishes to keep the child. The risk is miniscule, but it exists and has far-reaching consequences. | ||
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Myles
United States5162 Posts
On December 22 2011 03:08 bonifaceviii wrote: A good rule of thumb to follow in life is that nothing is 100% risk-free, especially contraception. It is still possible, even when taking birth control pills exactly as directed, for a woman to become pregnant while using them. By having sex with a girl with a condom you are (even if you're not) accepting the risk of the unlikely situation where A) the condom breaks, B) the girl becomes pregnant and C) she wishes to keep the child. The risk is miniscule, but it exists and has far-reaching consequences. Sure, I wouldn't argue that. I just think it's unfair to paint men with all the responsibility, as well the situation where a guy actively tried to avoid pregnancy, or the rare times where the man wants to keep the child but the women doesn't. It's a horrible situation all around that can't be fixed in a completely fair manner. | ||
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KeksX
Germany3634 Posts
If she decides to be a mother, then she has NO right to force it onto the father and vice versa. In the end it's the mother's decision to keep the baby, but if she decides to keep it it is HER decision ALONE. | ||
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tehemperorer
United States2183 Posts
That being said, guys that say "oh it ain't my fault the condom broke," and try to wash their hands of the matter are usually pussies and self-involved faggots who need to grow up. :D User was warned for this post | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46537 Posts
On December 22 2011 03:20 KeksX wrote: If the sex was consensual both parties knew what was up. That does not only include, that the father knew that he could be a father, but also that the girl/woman knew that she could be a mother. Both parties here are EQUALLY "guilty". If she decides to be a mother, then she has NO right to force it onto the father and vice versa. In the end it's the mother's decision to keep the baby, but if she decides to keep it it is HER decision ALONE. Sorry, but that's not how sex (or the legal system) works, and you even say so. "Both parties here are EQUALLY "guilty". " The second you have sex, it's an implicit agreement recognizing that you may get the female pregnant. If you're not ready to be a dad, don't have sex. (Or play the odds, but that's a risk you need to be willing to take.) It doesn't matter how immature or unprepared you are for that- the sperm doesn't care about your psychological or economical situations. Granted, the female apparently has the ultimate say in whether or not to keep the baby (and you may not like this, but that's just the way it is, genetically), but the male is also accountable if the female decides to keep the baby. The female may have the final say, but that's only because it's her body. The male helped create the fetus, so he's bound to it if it stays alive and becomes a baby. And if he doesn't like the fact that the woman doesn't want to stay pregnant, then he should go find a woman who does want kids. | ||
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kethers
United States719 Posts
On December 22 2011 02:43 Myles wrote: + Show Spoiler + On December 22 2011 02:36 Grumbels wrote: If you're concerned about a guy having to pay for his 'honest mistake', then where's your sympathy for the girl who would have to raise a child with only herself supporting it? Or the child without a father? While I never directly said it, it's implied through the second sentence. I also think it's kind of ironic that guys seem to hold all the responsibility in the situation. The girl also decided to have sex and take on the potential consequences. The fact that there are alternatives to having the child is where a lot of complications are involved, too. I don't understand...so the woman who bears the pain of birthing the child or goes through a traumatic experience of an abortion and in most cases is going to be upbringing the child with or without the father's presence, holds no responsibility? The context of "responsibility" being laid on the male is because that a majority of the time, it is the male who does not want to face the consequences of his actions, not the woman. | ||
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eXigent.
Canada2419 Posts
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Hidden_MotiveS
Canada2562 Posts
On December 22 2011 02:46 nttea wrote: Sadly as much as it sucks that a man can get forced into being the father of a child he doesn't want while a woman always have the option of abortion, there really is no better alternative. You can't force an abortion upon a woman and a child always have the right to know who is father is when possible. Yeah this sucks very much for guys. | ||
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TiTanIum_
Brazil1335 Posts
On December 22 2011 02:33 Terranist wrote: did you even read the OP? you're totally off the mark. I have just re read the OP, and I don´t think I´m "off the mark". Could you explain? | ||
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Tourist
Germany55 Posts
But this is the nature of things and it's not really changeable in men's favor so he has to know about his advantages and disadvantages in sex  be careful, be very careful (and afraid) 8[ | ||
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drgoats
United States310 Posts
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EquilasH
Denmark2142 Posts
On December 22 2011 02:19 AirbladeOrange wrote: It's not always the case a guy is "tied down for the next 18 years of his life" after he fathers a child. You don't have to marry the woman or move in with her or anything. However, if she wants you to be financially responsible you do have to pay child support, at least in the U.S.. I think if the mother chooses to keep the baby even against the father's wishes, the father should still have financial obligations because he still had a part in the matter. How does this work? Can you be forced upon a DNA test or what? Edit: Not sure if the same law applies to Denmark or not. | ||
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Drorctopus
Netherlands135 Posts
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