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Having a child - Page 2

Blogs > achristes
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bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
December 21 2011 17:49 GMT
#21
It's the least worst solution, that's why.
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
MasterBlasterCaster
Profile Joined October 2011
United States568 Posts
December 21 2011 17:50 GMT
#22
This situation will always exist and will always be unfair to the man as long as abortion exists as a legal option. It basically says that the woman should have choice but the man should have none. Arguments against abortion or for aside, this is obviously and inherently unfair and unjust. That being said, society could not function without requiring men to pay for their children. You are basically left with an option of being unjust or being unrealistic.
achristes
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Norway653 Posts
December 21 2011 17:51 GMT
#23
On December 22 2011 02:39 Kralic wrote:
What class is this for? That will sway my answer a bit.

English class, about youth problems (especially in Britain).
youtube.com/spooderm4n | twitch.tv/spooderm4n | Random videos and games I feel like uploading
Grumbels
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Netherlands7032 Posts
December 21 2011 17:53 GMT
#24
On December 22 2011 02:43 Myles wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2011 02:36 Grumbels wrote:
On December 22 2011 02:22 Myles wrote:
I think it's an impossible thing to get right.

It's wrong to force a guy to pay for a child based on an honest mistake. It's also wrong for a guy to go around impregnating girls without worry of the consequences. It's also wrong to let a child grow up in squalor.

All in all, people need to stop being so dumb about sex.

If you're concerned about a guy having to pay for his 'honest mistake', then where's your sympathy for the girl who would have to raise a child with only herself supporting it? Or the child without a father?

While I never directly said it, it's implied through the second sentence. I also think it's kind of ironic that guys seem to hold all the responsibility in the situation. The girl also decided to have sex and take on the potential consequences. The fact that there are alternatives to having the child is where a lot of complications are involved, too.

Suppose you view contraception, morning-after pills and abortion as ways for women to prevent having a child, with condoms being the option for men, then where's the difference? Both have ways to prevent it, if you count on your partner preventing it you can't later on complain she didn't do a good job of it.
Well, now I tell you, I never seen good come o' goodness yet. Him as strikes first is my fancy; dead men don't bite; them's my views--amen, so be it.
OmniEulogy
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Canada6600 Posts
December 21 2011 17:58 GMT
#25
So tough. But I think the guy needs to take responsibility for his actions.
LiquidDota Staff
danl9rm
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States3111 Posts
December 21 2011 17:59 GMT
#26
On December 22 2011 02:20 mucker wrote:
I don't think it is a hard question at all. When you choose to do something you must take full responsibility for the outcome whether or not everything goes the way you wanted it do. This applies to all facets of life.


Me and mucker appear to agree perfectly, even if he made a typo.
"Science has so well established that the preborn baby in the womb is a living human being that most pro-choice activists have conceded the point. ..since the abortion proponents have lost the science argument, they are now advocating an existential one."
Myles
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States5162 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-12-21 18:07:29
December 21 2011 18:03 GMT
#27
On December 22 2011 02:53 Grumbels wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2011 02:43 Myles wrote:
On December 22 2011 02:36 Grumbels wrote:
On December 22 2011 02:22 Myles wrote:
I think it's an impossible thing to get right.

It's wrong to force a guy to pay for a child based on an honest mistake. It's also wrong for a guy to go around impregnating girls without worry of the consequences. It's also wrong to let a child grow up in squalor.

All in all, people need to stop being so dumb about sex.

If you're concerned about a guy having to pay for his 'honest mistake', then where's your sympathy for the girl who would have to raise a child with only herself supporting it? Or the child without a father?

While I never directly said it, it's implied through the second sentence. I also think it's kind of ironic that guys seem to hold all the responsibility in the situation. The girl also decided to have sex and take on the potential consequences. The fact that there are alternatives to having the child is where a lot of complications are involved, too.

Suppose you view contraception, morning-after pills and abortion as ways for women to prevent having a child, with condoms being the option for men, then where's the difference? Both have ways to prevent it, if you count on your partner preventing it you can't later on complain she didn't do a good job of it.

You're putting words in my mouth. In my initial post I specifically said an honest mistake - as in the condom broke or something similar. My very next sentence was that it's wrong for a guy to go out impregnating women without worry.
Moderator
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
December 21 2011 18:08 GMT
#28
On December 22 2011 03:03 Myles wrote:
You're putting words in my mouth. I specifically said an honest mistake - as in the condom broke or something similar. My very next sentence was that it's wrong for a guy to go out impregnating women without worry.

A good rule of thumb to follow in life is that nothing is 100% risk-free, especially contraception. It is still possible, even when taking birth control pills exactly as directed, for a woman to become pregnant while using them.

By having sex with a girl with a condom you are (even if you're not) accepting the risk of the unlikely situation where A) the condom breaks, B) the girl becomes pregnant and C) she wishes to keep the child. The risk is miniscule, but it exists and has far-reaching consequences.
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
Myles
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States5162 Posts
December 21 2011 18:20 GMT
#29
On December 22 2011 03:08 bonifaceviii wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2011 03:03 Myles wrote:
You're putting words in my mouth. I specifically said an honest mistake - as in the condom broke or something similar. My very next sentence was that it's wrong for a guy to go out impregnating women without worry.

A good rule of thumb to follow in life is that nothing is 100% risk-free, especially contraception. It is still possible, even when taking birth control pills exactly as directed, for a woman to become pregnant while using them.

By having sex with a girl with a condom you are (even if you're not) accepting the risk of the unlikely situation where A) the condom breaks, B) the girl becomes pregnant and C) she wishes to keep the child. The risk is miniscule, but it exists and has far-reaching consequences.

Sure, I wouldn't argue that. I just think it's unfair to paint men with all the responsibility, as well the situation where a guy actively tried to avoid pregnancy, or the rare times where the man wants to keep the child but the women doesn't. It's a horrible situation all around that can't be fixed in a completely fair manner.
Moderator
KeksX
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Germany3634 Posts
December 21 2011 18:20 GMT
#30
If the sex was consensual both parties knew what was up. That does not only include, that the father knew that he could be a father, but also that the girl/woman knew that she could be a mother. Both parties here are EQUALLY "guilty".

If she decides to be a mother, then she has NO right to force it onto the father and vice versa. In the end it's the mother's decision to keep the baby, but if she decides to keep it it is HER decision ALONE.
tehemperorer
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States2183 Posts
December 21 2011 18:29 GMT
#31
It's not just the woman's responsibility to use birth control, and if contraceptives were used but somehow failed, there's still the act that was committed in mutuality that applies responsibility to both parties. It's entirely up to the male if he wants to be a part of the child's life or not. However, the act left the woman in a different state, meaning she will go through changes that warrant medical care, increased demand for resources (more food, diapers, etc.), so the government comes in and takes the role of a mediator. Because government cannot apply moral values to an individual (in most countries we are familiar with), they cannot force the male to be an active father. Verily, an unwilling father is arguably a worse influence than an absent one. What the government can do is make the male share the financial burden due to his part in the act, and that is contingent on the female pursuing some sort of child support settlement.

That being said, guys that say "oh it ain't my fault the condom broke," and try to wash their hands of the matter are usually pussies and self-involved faggots who need to grow up. :D

User was warned for this post
Knowing is half the battle... the other half is lasers.
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States46310 Posts
December 21 2011 19:18 GMT
#32
On December 22 2011 03:20 KeksX wrote:
If the sex was consensual both parties knew what was up. That does not only include, that the father knew that he could be a father, but also that the girl/woman knew that she could be a mother. Both parties here are EQUALLY "guilty".

If she decides to be a mother, then she has NO right to force it onto the father and vice versa. In the end it's the mother's decision to keep the baby, but if she decides to keep it it is HER decision ALONE.


Sorry, but that's not how sex (or the legal system) works, and you even say so. "Both parties here are EQUALLY "guilty". "

The second you have sex, it's an implicit agreement recognizing that you may get the female pregnant. If you're not ready to be a dad, don't have sex. (Or play the odds, but that's a risk you need to be willing to take.)

It doesn't matter how immature or unprepared you are for that- the sperm doesn't care about your psychological or economical situations.

Granted, the female apparently has the ultimate say in whether or not to keep the baby (and you may not like this, but that's just the way it is, genetically), but the male is also accountable if the female decides to keep the baby.

The female may have the final say, but that's only because it's her body. The male helped create the fetus, so he's bound to it if it stays alive and becomes a baby. And if he doesn't like the fact that the woman doesn't want to stay pregnant, then he should go find a woman who does want kids.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
kethers
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States719 Posts
December 21 2011 19:32 GMT
#33
On December 22 2011 02:43 Myles wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
On December 22 2011 02:36 Grumbels wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2011 02:22 Myles wrote:
I think it's an impossible thing to get right.

It's wrong to force a guy to pay for a child based on an honest mistake. It's also wrong for a guy to go around impregnating girls without worry of the consequences. It's also wrong to let a child grow up in squalor.

All in all, people need to stop being so dumb about sex.

If you're concerned about a guy having to pay for his 'honest mistake', then where's your sympathy for the girl who would have to raise a child with only herself supporting it? Or the child without a father?


While I never directly said it, it's implied through the second sentence. I also think it's kind of ironic that guys seem to hold all the responsibility in the situation. The girl also decided to have sex and take on the potential consequences. The fact that there are alternatives to having the child is where a lot of complications are involved, too.


I don't understand...so the woman who bears the pain of birthing the child or goes through a traumatic experience of an abortion and in most cases is going to be upbringing the child with or without the father's presence, holds no responsibility?

The context of "responsibility" being laid on the male is because that a majority of the time, it is the male who does not want to face the consequences of his actions, not the woman.
eXigent.
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Canada2419 Posts
December 21 2011 19:50 GMT
#34
The whole point of sex in species is to make a baby, so when it happens by accident or not, you better be man enough to be there for the child. It pisses me off when people do things they know could lead to huge responsibilities in life, but then just say fuck it, do it anyway, and then complain and bitch when the worst happens.
Hidden_MotiveS
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada2562 Posts
December 21 2011 20:14 GMT
#35
On December 22 2011 02:46 nttea wrote:
Sadly as much as it sucks that a man can get forced into being the father of a child he doesn't want while a woman always have the option of abortion, there really is no better alternative. You can't force an abortion upon a woman and a child always have the right to know who is father is when possible.

Yeah this sucks very much for guys.
TiTanIum_
Profile Joined August 2011
Brazil1335 Posts
December 21 2011 20:14 GMT
#36
On December 22 2011 02:33 Terranist wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 22 2011 02:32 TiTanIum_ wrote:
"With great power comes great responsibilities." Batman.

If he got the girl pregnant, it is his fault. Use a better condom, learn to put it, give the girl a day after pill, teach your boys to swim backwards, I don´t care. Deal with it.


did you even read the OP? you're totally off the mark.


I have just re read the OP, and I don´t think I´m "off the mark". Could you explain?
Tourist
Profile Joined January 2010
Germany55 Posts
December 21 2011 20:24 GMT
#37
in my opinion the big disadvantage for the males is that after having impregnated a female they have no more say about what's going to happen. If she says I'l abort, the male has to deal with it even if he might really want the baby and on the hand if she says the contrary ...... we might have our OP
But this is the nature of things and it's not really changeable in men's favor so he has to know about his advantages and disadvantages in sex
be careful, be very careful
(and afraid) 8[
fucking tourists
drgoats
Profile Joined March 2010
United States310 Posts
December 21 2011 20:35 GMT
#38
It works both ways in my mind. I believe that if either partner decides on keeping the child, then you are morally obligated to be there for that child. When you engage in sexual acts with someone, you have to understand that birth control is not a 100% guarantee and there is still a chance for pregnancy.
EquilasH
Profile Joined April 2009
Denmark2142 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-12-21 20:57:16
December 21 2011 20:56 GMT
#39
On December 22 2011 02:19 AirbladeOrange wrote:
It's not always the case a guy is "tied down for the next 18 years of his life" after he fathers a child. You don't have to marry the woman or move in with her or anything. However, if she wants you to be financially responsible you do have to pay child support, at least in the U.S.. I think if the mother chooses to keep the baby even against the father's wishes, the father should still have financial obligations because he still had a part in the matter.

How does this work? Can you be forced upon a DNA test or what?

Edit: Not sure if the same law applies to Denmark or not.
wat
Drorctopus
Profile Joined October 2010
Netherlands135 Posts
December 21 2011 21:18 GMT
#40
Well if you use a condom and the girl the pill then you both don't want a child(otherwise you wouldn't use those things). So if all of sudden the girl does get pregnant and she wants to keep the baby then the guy should be free to go without any responsibilties. As you both didn't want her to get pregnant.
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